Promise
by jessmuir0407
Summary: He saw the glint, he knew what it was, but he didn't react fast enough. Well, what would have happened if he reacted a split second sooner? What would have happened if Richard Castle got to Kate Beckett before the bullet did?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _Gina still showed up right before Detective Kate Beckett was about to tell writer Richard Castle how she felt. Castle still disappeared for the summer thinking Beckett was falling in love with Tom Demming. Beckett still walked into a crime scene only to find Castle standing over a dead body holding a gun. Castle still was the person Beckett went to when Raglan contacted her about her mother's case. Castle and Beckett still almost died in each other's arms in the freezer. They still faced death hand in hand before Castle pulled the wires out of the dirty bomb saving not only them, but an entire city. Josh still showed up right before Castle was going to tell Beckett he wanted more. Montgomery still died in the hanger giving himself up to keep Lockwood from getting to Kate Beckett. And the sniper still showed up at the funeral to try and put Beckett in the ground once and for all. The only difference… Richard Castle reacted just a little bit faster._

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Chapter 1:

Having to carry Beckett out of that hanger as she squirmed and twisted in his arms trying to break free, begging him to let her go back, begging him to let her stop Captain Montgomery from giving his life to protect her was one of the hardest, yet one of the easiest decisions he has ever made.

When Montgomery called him earlier that evening and told him what he needed him to do, this isn't what he expected. He would never suspect that Roy Montgomery was at the center of what caused Beckett so much pain. He also never expected that he would have to be the bad guy and physically remove Becket from the hanger as she begged him to let her go back to the man who caused the death of her mother. He would have never guessed he had to do the hardest thing he has ever had to do knowing he was carrying her away from a dead man.

But when Montgomery told him that he needed to get Beckett out of there before they saw her, when Montgomery told him that he was doing this to stop them from killing Kate, it was the easiest decision he has ever made picking her up and carrying her out of there because as much as it killed him to see her in such anguish, he knew it would kill him more if anything ever happened to her. He would rather have her hate him and be alive than dead on the floor of the hanger because if there was one thing Richard Castle knew it was that he couldn't live in a world where Kate Beckett was no longer alive.

As he stood there, in the cemetery, he looked around at all the people Montgomery has touched over his lifetime. All of them were left with good memories, they were left believing that Captain Roy Montgomery died a hero. There were only four people who knew the truth. Himself, Detective Javier Esposito, Detective Kevin Ryan and Detective Kate Beckett.

Kate.

He found his eyes shifting back to her as she stood at the podium, filling the otherwise silent air with words commemorating her Captain. Their Captain. Standing there staring at her as she spoke of Montgomery and how he taught her there were no victories. There were only battles and if you were lucky enough you would not only find a place to make a stand but you would find someone to make a stand with you.

When she looked at him as she said this that is when he decided. He would always be there for her. He would always stand beside her no matter how stubborn she was, no matter how hard she tried to push him away. He would dig in his heals and make a stand and break down her walls one brick at a time because she was looking at him. Not her father, not Lanie or Esposito or Ryan. Definitely not her boyfriend, Josh, who once again was absent when his girlfriend needed him most. She was looking at him because she wanted him to be the person to be there with her as she made a stand. So he made himself a promise. No matter what happened, no matter how hard she tried to put up walls to keep him out, no matter how hard she tried to push him away. He wasn't going to let her go. He was going to be there for her and keep her safe.

And that is exactly what he did as he jumped moments after seeing a glint in the distance.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

She hated him. From the second she felt his arms wrap around her as he lifted her up and brought her out of the hanger, carried her away from her Captain as he gave up his life for her, pinned her up against the car, trying to keep her quiet as she begged and pleaded for him to let her go she felt nothing but hate for him.

Who was she kidding? She didn't hate him.

As she stood there speaking about her Captain, she knew there was no one else she would have rather had next to her for the past three years. That there was no one else she trusted as much as she trusted him. Not even her boyfriend, the boyfriend she still desperately clung to in attempts to crush any feelings she has for Richard Castle.

She told him last night that they were done. He was just there to help her, to once again be there for her when he knew she was hurting. But when he started asking her to step away from the case, to think about those who cared about her and conveniently denied her the answer she was seeking when she asked him how it would affect him she got angry as the walls came up. At the time she knew she was just trying to run like she always did, trying to keep herself from getting hurt because he told her they were just friends and partners. Nothing more. He didn't tell her he wanted her, he didn't tell her he loved her. He just told her they were friends. So she got angry and told him to leave, told him that whatever it was that they have was over.

Yet, he had still shown up at the hanger. Despite her telling him that they were over and she didn't want to see him anymore, she was still there. But then he carried her away from Montgomery as he gave up for his life for her. Despite her begging and pleading, he carried her away. She could see it in his eyes and he pinned her up against the car, trying to keep her quiet, that this was the last thing he wanted to do. He didn't want to have to keep her here. He didn't want her to feel this pain that she was feeling, but he did it anyway because despite her protests he knew that he had to. He knew that if she stayed in there everything Montgomery was trying to do would be in vain because they would get her too.

Sometimes she wished that someone else had received the call about the murder. That it wasn't her who had recognized the crime scene to be a replication of a scene from _his_ book. That it wasn't her who showed up at his book launch party to bring him in for questioning. That it wasn't her who he shamelessly flirted with as she tried to question him. That it wasn't her who he developed an interest in. That it wasn't her he decided to base his new character off of. That she wasn't the one who's story he had figured out on just their second case. That it wasn't her who had to shoot his mother's killer to protect him. That it wasn't her who was heartbroken as he walked off into the sunset with his ex wife after she was just about to tell him how she felt. That it wasn't her who had walked into the crime scene only to find him standing over a dead body with a gun in his hand. That it wasn't her that allowed herself to miss him so much she purposely threw a bet just to keep him around. That it wasn't her that went to him when Raglan approached her because he was the only person he could trust with her mother's case. That it wasn't her who had almost frozen to death wrapped up in his arms. That it wasn't her who stood there holding his hand as he desperately yanked all the wires out of the dirty bomb. That it wasn't her who stood there in the middle of the precinct hugging her boyfriend when she wanted to be wrapped up in _his_ arms. That it wasn't her that had fallen so desperately in love with Richard Castle.

And it scared her.

She was terrified.

But as she stood there in front of all her friends, standing over the casket of her dead Captain, the captain who gave his life for her, she was sure of one thing.

She wanted him to be there. She wanted him to be the one by her side as she made a stand.

She wanted him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

It all happened so fast she wasn't even sure what had happened. One second she was standing in front of the podium and the next she was flat on her back staring at the bright blue sky, the echo of her name being called and a gunshot still ringing in her head.

She laid there momentarily waiting for the pain, waiting for the tell tale signs that she had in fact been shot, but the only thing she felt was the heavy wait of Castle laying on top of her.

"Castle, get up," she said breathlessly seeing as how she was being crushed by him. When he didn't answer her first thought was that he was just messing around, using this as an excuse, that it was his duty as a man to protect her. That was until she picked up her hand to push him off of her and saw her white glove turn a deep shade of blood the instant she placed her hands on his chest to push him off of her. Why was her glove red?

Oh. _Oh!_

Castle had been shot. Oh god… Castle jumped in front of her, he took a bullet for her trying to protect her. He had family. His mother was sitting in the audience. Oh god… Alexis. She knew what it was like loosing a parent. Castle had been shot because of her, because he jumped in front of a bullet for her. She had to save him. She couldn't be the reason for someone else loosing a parent. This time she put both hands on his chest and gave him a huge shove rolling him on his back next to her.

She knew she had to stop the bleeding, but there was so much blood. She put both hands on the entrance point desperately trying to stop the bleeding, doing everything she could to stop the bleeding. She barely registered the tears rolling down her face. Kate Beckett didn't cry, but she didn't care. She felt so helpless. She had no idea what was going on around her all she knew was that she couldn't lose someone else she loved. She couldn't lose him too.

Suddenly, she felt arms on her shoulders pulling her back.

"Kate… KATE! You need to back up, we need to get him into the ambulance," Esposito said as he tried to pull her away from Castle, but she wouldn't budge. This was her fault and she wasn't going to leave him to die right here in the grass because of her.

It wasn't until Lanie knelt in front of her that she registered that she was surrounded. She looked up to find her friend right in front of her prying her hands away from Castle.

"C'mon sweetie you need to let go so I can help him. I need to help him but I can't do that with you sitting right here," said Lanie. Kate could see in her eyes that time was running out. Rarely was her friend panicky so when Kate looked up to see her eyes full of panic she allowed Esposito to pull her away as the medics went to work putting Castle on a stretcher and leading him over to an ambulance. She had to go with him. She stood up and went to follow but once again the arms of Esposito were holding her back.

"Javi," she pleaded, "let me go , I need to go with him!" But he didn't budge; he only tightened his grip on her to keep her from getting any farther. "Javi, please!"

"Kate, they need to be able to work, c'mon, we will bring you to the hospital in the squad car." But Kate wasn't listening. The moment the doors closed on the ambulance Kate collapsed on the ground.

Thinking quickly, Esposito and Ryan got on either side of their friend and picked her up by her arms half carrying her, half dragging her to the squad car helping her into the front seat before they hopped in and were off with a flick of a switch turning on the lights to get to the hospital as fast as they possibly could. The car barely came to a stop before Beckett was out of the door running through the doors they saw Castle and the medics enter seconds earlier.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

It felt like days since she stood in front of the podium mourning the loss of her Captain while her partner, her rock, stood next to her offering her silent support.

It felt like days since she lifted up her hand to find it covered in blood.

It felt like days since she realized that it wasn't her who had been shot, but her partner.

It felt like days since she arrived in the emergency room only to be told that Castle had lost a lot of blood and was currently in surgery.

It felt like days since Alexis came storming into the waiting area outside the O.R. and screamed that this was all her fault. That if it wasn't for her giving her dad false hope that she had feelings for him, he wouldn't have been following her and wouldn't have gotten shot.

It felt like days since Alexis said it should have been her laying on the operating table not her dad.

In reality it had been only a couple of hours.

Beckett was currently sitting slouched against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest trying to keep herself from completely shattering and breaking apart right here in front of all her friends and Castle's family. Martha had been nothing but civil. Despite her grand daughter's accusations, Martha didn't blame Kate in the slightest. Or so she told Kate as she explained the Richard knew exactly what he was getting himself into and there was no way anyone could have known what was going to happen. But despite her reassurance before she left to bring Alexis home with the promise that someone would call the instant any news was received, Beckett didn't feel the slightest bit better.

How could she have been so selfish. She knew how Castle has felt about her for a long time, and despite her constant battles to deny any feelings she had for him, she knew that he knew there was something there too. And yet, she kept him at arms length, went running in the other direction when ever there was the slightest change that there was a shift in their dynamic. Because that's what she did. She ran. She hid in relationships with men who didn't make her happy when all she wanted was to be with Castle, but because she was such a coward, Castle was laying on an operating table, fighting for his life. All because of her.

To their credit, her friends did try to comfort her. Lanie tried to get her to go home to change out of her clothes that were still covered with Castle's blood, but when she refused to leave the hospital until Castle left, Lanie gave up and left to get Kate clothes and the essentials from her apartment. When it looked like she wasn't going to leave Esposito and Ryan tried to at least get her to drink some coffee, but at the sight of the coffee cup in front of her face, her mind instantly went back to Castle and the fact that he as supposed to be the one to bring her coffee so she chucked it across the opposite wall and went back to staring at the floor. Then her dad decided that maybe she just needed someone to talk to her and tried to make conversation before giving up and heading home.

They tried. And she should have treated them better than she did, but the only person who could make her feel better in this situation was Castle and the entire reason they were here was because Castle and been shot trying to keep her alive.

At this thought, a fresh wave of tears went rolling down her face.

How could it been so messed up. She should have pushed him away a long time ago. She should have been firm when she told him that this wasn't his fight with the Raglan case, but she was selfish, she needed him. So she let him stay. She should have told him to leave after they almost froze to death, told him this was too dangerous, but once again she was selfish. She knew she was. She couldn't imagine going to work without him there sitting next to her in his chair. It should have been the last straw when she realized how deep this really went. It was one thing to put herself in danger, but to put Castle in danger all because she liked having him around, all because she had feelings for him that she wouldn't admit. It was all messed up.

And now he was going to die.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

"Richard Castle's family? Is Richard Castle's family here?"

Kate's head snapped up for the first time in hours and she was instantly to her feet heading toward the doctor that just stepped out of the doors for the operating room.

"Here, right here," said Kate as she came to a stop in front of the doctor.

"Mr. Castle has come through surgery. Right now he is stable but the next 48-72 hours are going to be critical. There was a significant amount of internal bleeding and one of his lungs collapsed due to the bullet. During surgery he experienced cardiac arrest three times, but we were able to get his heart going again. From here on out it will just be a waiting game," said the doctor.

Beckett started hyperventilating when she heard that Castle's heart stopped three times. She was trying to calm her breathing to ask if she could see him, but she couldn't catch her breath so she looked around with wide eyes, catching Lanie's eyes. Thankfully, Lanie understood what Beckett needed and stepped forward, "When will we be able to see him?" she asked, laying on the charm. She was almost positive that they wouldn't be allowed to see him since none of them were technically family, but she had to at least try for her friend. Fortunately, the doctor told them that Castle was getting transferred to recovery and once he was set up they would be allowed a brief visit, but only one of them were allowed to stay before heading back through the double doors behind him.

While they were waiting for the nurse to come back to see bring them to Castle, Beckett realized that they promised Martha that they would call with news the moment they heard anything. Pulling out her phone she went to dial Castle's house phone, but the moment she saw his picture pop up on her phone, tears started rolling down her eyes again. Ryan, who was closest to her just assumed she was relieved that Castle was out of surgery until he looked down and saw what she was staring at on her phone. Walking over in front of her he pried the phone from her death grip. "Don't worry about it Beckett, I'll go call Martha and let her know what is going on. I will come by tomorrow to see Castle." With that he turned around and went to head out of the hospital to make the phone call. Esposito soon followed saying that they were going to go back to the precinct to see what they could find out. Right after he left, a nurse came out to take them to Castle's room.

Beckett dealt with dead bodies every day. But as she walked into the room to see Castle all hooked up to all the wires, looking so pale, she immediately ran to the nearest garbage can and disposed of the little bit of food that was still in her stomach. After taking a few deep breaths and wiping off her mouth she walked over to the edge of his bed.

"When is he going to wake up?" She questioned the nurse standing next to him checking his vitals.

"It could be anytime in the next few days. Right now he has a lot of medications in his body so they will keep him knocked out for at least the next 24 hours." Noticing that Beckett had extended a finger and was gently rubbing her patients thumb she added, "you can hold his hand if you want. He is going to feel a little bit cold at the moment, but as his body starts to recover he will regain some of his body heat. If you need anything just press the call button on the remote and someone will be by immediately." With that she turned around and left them alone. Beckett just stood there staring at Castle's face. It didn't look like her Castle. She missed his jokes, and his flirting banter. She missed how his eyes would crinkle whenever he smiled, and how his eyes would light up when he was extremely happy. She just wanted her Castle back not this ghost that looked like Castle. Tearing her eyes away from his face she looked down at his hand. The nurse did say she could hold it, but he looked so fragile. But she yearned to feel his touch, just so she could know he was still there. So she took his hand. But she immediately regretted it as sobs wracked her body. His hand was cold and stiff. It wasn't full of warmth and promises like his hands usually were. She fell to the chair besides his bed resting her head on the bed next to his allowing all the grief she bottled up over the past couple days to surface and spill over. She stayed there for hours. Resting her head on top of her and Castle's interlinked hands. She faintly remembers Lanie telling her she was going to go get some coffee and faintly remembers nurses and doctors coming in and out checking Castle's vitals but the only thing she cared about was the feeling of his hand warming in hers. But still. Even though it was warm it still didn't feel like Castle's. But still stayed because something was better than nothing.

Despite the protests of Lanie and the nurses, Beckett refused to leave his side. After the longest day of her life, she finally succumbed to the exhaustion, falling asleep, head resting on the hands of her partner while her dreams haunted her with visions of bloody hands, screaming and Castle laying there dying in the grass.

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**A/N: **I know this seems like its dragging, but don't worry Castle is going to wake up soon and then things are going to really take off. Also sorry for the delays, I planned out the first chapters extensively and had an idea where I wanted these ones to go, but I want the details to be exactly how I wanted them so it is taking a little bit longer.

Reviews are welcome!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

_She was in a dark alley when she heard a high pitched scream. She turned around just in time to see a man stab a woman. She tried to scream, but her voice wouldn't work so she started to run towards the woman and man to try and help her. By the time she got by the woman's side the man was gone and as she looked down at the woman laying there helpless, she felt her breath get caught in her throat as she looked down and saw her mom. She reached out to help her, but before she could, everything started to dissolve around her. _

_Now she was in the precinct._

_She heard a shuffle behind her and saw Coonan standing behind Castle holding a gun to his back ordering her to turn around and lead the way to the elevator or else he was going to shoot Castle. Just like before Montgomery stood in their path with his gun pointing towards the trio, but this time he didn't put his gun down, and as Montgomery pulled his trigger, Coonan pulled his. Both Coonan and Castle crumpled to the ground. Beckett knelt down next to Castle as the blood started to take over his shirt. But once again, as she reached out to help him, the world around her began to dissolve. _

_Now she was in the freezer. _

_She heard the door shut and turned to see where they were. It was bitter cold. She knew instantly that they couldn't stay in here or else they would freeze to death, but as she turned around to try and open the door she found it was locked. So she turned back to Castle, hoping for a bit of optimism only to find him slouched down against the back wall as a pool of blood began to spill onto the white floor. She ran over to him. Thankfully, it was just his leg, but at this rate if they couldn't stop the bleeding, he wasn't going to be able to stay strong enough to withstand the cold for very long. She took off her belt and tied it around his leg effectively cutting off the blood flow, but when she looked up at Castle she was met with grey eyes. Not the piercing blue that had brought her so much comfort. He was already gone and there was nothing she could do, but sit here and wait with the dead body of the man she loved. Once again the world around her dissolved. _

_She was back in the cemetery. _

_This time however, she was watching the whole thing take place… through the scope of a sniper rifle. She was the one who was taking the shot. She watched as she looked over at Castle. She watched as Castle's face scrunched up in the direction of her. She watched as he began to jump towards her and despite the fact that she knew what was coming next she still felt her finger squeeze around the trigger and watch as Castle tackled her to the ground. But suddenly she was right back where she was, next to him, kneeling in the grass desperately cleaning to him to keep him alive. Doing everything she can to stop the bleeding as it seeped through her gloves. She just wanted to get closer to him so she grabbed his hands as the medics went to work. They were already cold, like death. _

_Suddenly her entire world was dark. She could hear in the distance someone calling her name, and she felt someone shaking her trying to get her to come to whatever horrible world she was in. The voice got louder and the shaking got harder. _

Kate startled awake. For a second she had no idea where she was but as she lifted her head she saw Castle laying there. Still with all the tubes and machines hooked up to him, still pale, looking like a ghost of himself.

"Kate?"

Her head snapped around to find Josh standing there staring at her with a bemused look on his face.

"Hey sleeping beauty, I just got off of shift when I ran into your friend Lanie. She told me what happened and told me where you were. I've only got today off so let's head home so we can spend some time together. Maybe watch a movie, get some Chinese and just relax. I've had a rough couple days." Josh said with a yawn.

Beckett just stared at him. Lanie had told him what had happened. He could clearly see Castle laying here in bed fighting for his life and he was complaining about how he had a bad day.

"No Josh. I'm not leaving until Castle wakes up. If you're tired you can go home and relax, but I'm staying here." With that she turned her head back to Castle expecting Josh to leave without a fight. But of course he couldn't take the hint.

"Kate c'mon. I had a nice evening planned out and we need to discuss some things. I am your boyfriend. Not Mr. Writer Boy here. He is in a hospital. He will be fine. No need sticking around."

Beckett couldn't believe what she was hearing. She just wanted to get rid of Josh so she stood up, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the door. Josh thinking they were leaving grabbed her coat and tried to help her put it on. But Beckett just stood there staring at him.

"I told you I'm not leaving until Castle wakes up. So if there is something important you need to tell me, tell me now. Otherwise it isn't that important." Beckett just stood their arms crossed, wanting to get back to Castle's side.

Josh ran his hands through his hair with a soft chuckle. He really wasn't making things better. Before she knew what was happening, Josh reached into his pocket and pulled out a jewelry box popping it open to reveal an engagement ring. "I though since we have been going out for so long it was time to take the next step. I really like what we have and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so will you marry me Kate?"

Kate just stood there looking between the ring and Josh's face. He couldn't be serious. Did he really think that they were ready for marriage let alone heading there in the first place? He really was clueless.

"Josh…" Beckett said with a sigh. She knew for awhile that he wasn't her 'one and done' but being with him was a good excuse for her to hide while she tried to squish any feelings she had for Castle.

"Just take the ring and hold on to it and think about it. Then when you are ready you can put it on and I will know" said Josh rather smugly. He honestly thought that she was going to say yes.

"No Josh." Kate said a little more fiercely.

"Oh, that's fine I just thought you wanted some time, but I guess my amazing charm is hard to resist." He put on his 'flirter' smile as he slipped the ring out of the box and tried to put it on her finger.

"No Josh. I meant I am not going to marry you. Not now, not ever. I don't think this relationship is what I am looking for. You are never there for me when I need you. You are only there when it is convenient for you and even then the only thing we do is either sleep or have sex. So no I am not going to marry you and we are over." She let out a sigh of relief and went to walk away back to Castle, but before she could take two steps he wrapped his hand around her arm and pulled her back towards him.

"You are seriously going to leave me? Wait… are you leaving me for that pathetic excuse for a man? He can't even go a day without getting himself shot. What did he do? Let me guess, he was acting like the stupid, immature guy he is and somehow shot himself, probably messing around with a gun. Am I right or am I right?" He said with a laugh.

Beckett could not believe she was actually going out with this man. What did she ever see in him.

"For your information Josh, Castle got shot because he was there with me and he jumped in front of me to protect me from getting shot. He risked his life to save mine and all you can do is sit here and complain because I refuse to leave my friend who risked his life for me. So yes I am leaving you, and no he is not a pathetic excuse for a man, that's you." She turned with a huff and went back to her seat next to Castle.

Josh just stood there staring at her before he turned to leave, but before he did he just had to get in the last word. "Just remember what you threw away when you become another women he decides to hit and quit" And with that he left, slamming the door behind him.

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**A/N:** Sorry this one is long. Well I shouldn't say its long the other ones are just short. They will probably be longer from now on so the updates will be farther in between.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Everything hurts.

He tries to sit up, but he can't move. It feels like someone has tied him down with 50 pound weights covering his entire body. To make matters worse with every breath, there is a sharp pain that shoots through his chest. His head feels foggy, so he tried to figure out where he is. He can hear a distant beeping and humming of a machine. He can hear the distant intercom calls paging doctors or nurses to various locations. It must mean he is in the hospital.

He remembers standing in front at Montgomery's funeral watching Kate, when he notices the glint coming from a tombstone out in the distance behind the entire congregation. It takes him a second more to realize what the glint really is and a split second more before he is screaming out Kate's name and jumping towards her. That's the last thing he remembers. So judging by the fact that he is in the hospital he must have gotten shot. Was Kate okay? Did she get shot too? Did he manage to get in front of her in time that she didn't face the same fate as him? Was she even alive?

He could feel himself being pulled back into an unconscious state, but he could hear her voice. He just needed to open his eyes, just for a couple of seconds, just to make sure she was okay.

There it was again.

He fought against the pull into unconsciousness as he tried to open his eyes. Finally, he felt his eyelids start to flicker and he managed to open them. After blinking a few times, he noticed Kate standing over by the door. His first thought was that of relief. She was okay. She was standing, and talking and breathing. But then she noticed who she was talking to. She had her back to him so he couldn't see her face, but he saw Josh standing in front of her holding out an engagement ring.

He tried to yell out, he just needed to talk to her. She couldn't marry Josh. He wasn't the right one for her. He was never there for her and he knew that Kate knew that. I mean wasn't it just a few ours ago that Kate was looking at him when she said she wanted someone to be there with her when she made a stand. She was looking at him not Josh. He could make her much happier than Josh ever could and he would be there for her. He would put her before everything, he wouldn't be running off to different countries for months at a time. He wouldn't just be there for her when it was convenient for him. He loved Kate. And he knows that Kate can't possibly love Josh. Castle knows her enough to know that much is true. I mean just a few months ago she was saying how Josh was never there and she had both feet out the door. How she liked how they had a busy schedule because it allowed for her to have her foot out the door, but it was no longer what she wanted. She wanted someone who was going to be there for her and that person was Castle. He knew it was. He just had to call out to her, but no matter what he did he couldn't manage to call out to her. His voice just wouldn't work. He was going to lose the love of his life because his life wouldn't work.

He watched as Josh's smile grew as he held out the ring. He heard Kate mumble something, but he couldn't hear, but the last thing he remembers before he succumbs to the exhaustion pulling him into unconsciousness is Josh pulling out the ring and taking Kate's hand to put the ring on.

His last thought before he blacked out was that he lost her.

She said yes.

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**A/N:** Thank you for all the reviews! I hope you are enjoying the story so far and if there is anything you like or don't like please let me know!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

"Kate?"

At first she thought she was dreaming when she heard her name. It sounded like it was Castle but he can't be awake yet, its barely been 24 hours since his surgery. But then she heard it again.

"Kate?"

Her head shot up to see the piercing blue eyes she loves staring back at her.

"Castle?" she squeaked.

"Chest… hurts. Whaaaaat happened?" rasped Castle. His voice was getting weaker by the moment.

"Shhh don't try and talk Castle. You need to rest. Let me get the doctor. Just stay quiet." Kate sprung up from the bed, forgetting about the call button and she ran through the door, down the hall to the nurse's station. "We need a doctor in Castle's room right away. He woke up. He is saying his chest hurts. He probably needs medicine Please. We need a doctor!" Without waiting for a reply she turned around and ran back into Castle's room.

"Don't worry Castle, a doctor is on his way. They will get you some more medicine for your chest and then the pain will be better." Tears were streaming down her face as she stared into his bright blue eyes. A day ago she thought she wasn't going to see his eyes ever again. She thought that the last memory she was going to have of his eyes was the pain ridden ones he had while he had to keep her from helping Montgomery.

"What happened?" Castle asked once again.

"You were shot. We were at Montgomery's funeral when you jumped in front of me knocking me to the ground. You were rushed to the hospital. The bullet grazed your lung and collapsed it and your heart stopped three times but they got it started again. You are going to be really sore for a while but you are going to be okay." She grasped his hand once again trying to convince him through touch that everything was going to be okay.

Castle tried to say something else. When it came out as nothing more than a little gurgle he cleared his throat and tried again.

" 're you 'kay?" he whispered.

Kate just laughed as a fresh wave of tears ran down her cheeks. Leave it to Castle to be laying in a bed after being shot and the first thing he asks after finding out what happened is to ask her if she was okay.

"I'm fine Castle. I'm fine."

Before she could say anything else the nurses and doctors came in and pushed Kate back away from Castle as they began to poke and prod him checking his vitals. Despite the doctors and nurses asking him questions, and checking his bandages. His eyes never left hers. As Kate stood there staring into the eyes she had grown to love over the past three years, she saw something that she didn't quite understand.

It looked like sadness… and defeat. But the most unsettling of them all was anger.

Anger.

Oh. _Oh. _

He was upset with her because she was standing there as healthy as a horse and he was laying in a hospital bed after being shot. He was angry that he tried to save her life and ended up in the hospital and there wasn't a scratch on her.

Before she could leave a nurse turned to her and began to explain to her how he was going to be administered some pain medication and would probably be out for a couple hours before waking up again. She said that it was fine if she stayed, but this was probably the best time to go him and get cleaned up before he woke up again.

Kate nodded as she turned to head towards the door. She had no intention of coming back. She had already hurt Castle enough and the sooner she left him alone, the better off he would be. Or so she thought.

"Kate?"

Her head snapped back towards Castle meeting his eyes once more.

"Stay." It wasn't a question. It was a demand. His eyes were pleading for her to stay and she couldn't deny him that.

"I'm going to run home and change and grab a few things. I will be back before you wake up again Castle."

"Promise?" his eyes were so hopeful, but there was a bit of doubt hidden behind his hope.

"I promise."

And with that she left fully intending to keep her promise.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

It felt like it took forever for Kate to get back to get apartment. When the cab driver pulled up in front of her apartment she quickly threw some cash into the front seat and practically ran through the front door to the apartment. She pressed the button to go up and barely waited 5 seconds before she decided she couldn't wait any longer and threw open the doors to the stairs taking them two stairs at a time. When she finally got to her floor and turned the corner to head to her apartment she noticed someone sitting outside of her apartment. It was Josh. Thankfully his eyes were closed so she thought she could get by him and into her apartment without him noticing her pass. She stepped over his outstretched legs and quickly opened her door. She stepped inside and swung the door shut behind her, but it was stopped with a loud thud. She turned around to see Josh standing in the door with his hand outstretched stopping it from closer.

"Hey beautiful," he said groggily.

She can't believe him. Did he not hear her earlier when she told him he was a pathetic excuse for a man?

"What are you doing here Josh?" She didn't stick around to wait for an answer, she just went straight to her room and threw a duffle on the bed as she started to throw a few sets of clothes in.

"I came by so we could apologize. We both said things that we didn't mean and I thought I would just save some time and come over and ask you to marry me again once we got over the little fight we had over at the hospital" Josh said as he walked over and laid down on her bed like this was his home.

"Josh, I have nothing to apologize for. I meant everything I said back at the hospital, now you need to leave. Take whatever is yours and leave. I have to get back to the hospital before Castle wakes up again." Kate turned around to head to the bathroom to grab some makeup and little things she would need for the next couple days when for the second time in the last day, Josh grabbed her arm pulling her back towards him.

"Josh keep your hands off of me and leave. You are really starting to piss me off."

"Aw c'mon Katie, I know you don't mean those things. You are just confused because writer boy tried to be a hero. What do you think is going to happen when you wake up? Do you think he is going to be your prince charming? Be real Kate. He's a play boy. He'll do whatever it takes to sleep with you and then he will leave."

"Josh you need to leave."

"Are you being serious Kate? What does he have to offer that I don't? Is it the money and fame? It must be. He's old as hell and has a brat of a daughter. I never thought of you for someone who sold her body for money." Josh chuckled.

Kate would usually let comments like these go and just kick him out, but when he brings Alexis into the equation that is not okay.

"Josh I have had enough of your bullshit. Get it through your head that its never been you. It wouldn't matter if you had asked me to marry you before all this shit happened, I would have still said no. You aren't the one I want to spend my life with. Like I said before. You are never here. You are constantly flying all over the world, which is great and all, but I want someone who is here for me. Even when you are here, you still aren't here. My Captain died and you couldn't take one day off to support me. My partner was laying in a bed fighting for his life because he jumped in front of a bullet to save my life and you were making jokes about it and got mad at me for not wanting to leave. So no, I am not selling my body for money. I am doing what any decent person would do and the fact that you think that's funny and don't get that makes me wonder why I ever went out with you in the first place. Now I need to shower and you need to leave." With that Kate turned around, went into her bathroom and shut the door with a click as she locked it.

Josh just stood there until he heard the shower turn on. Well, if she wasn't going to be with him, he would sure as hell make sure she wasn't going to be with writer boy. He took a few steps over towards her bag and noticed a few things she packed that were obviously for Castle. He took the engagement ring out of his pocket and tucked it in between the stuff meant for Castle before he turned around, grabbed his coat and walked out of Beckett's apartment slamming the door behind him.

Thirty minutes later, Beckett walked through the emergency door entrance and back down the hall to Castle's room. When she pushed open the door she expected Castle to still be asleep, but was pleasantly surprised when he was propped up against some pillows chewing on some ice chips.

She smiled her first true smile in days as she walked over to his bed putting her bag next to his legs.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself, how are you feeling?"

"Like I was shot after jumping in front of a bullet for a certain detective" he said with a chuckle.

The smile dropped off her face.

"Uhh, I brought you some stuff to keep you busy while you are here. I am going to go run and get some coffee" she said as she placed opened the bag for him. "I'll be back in five." And with that she walked out the door and head down to the coffee shop she saw on her way in.

Meanwhile, back in the hospital room, Castle began to go through the bag. There were crosswords and word puzzles, there was a note pad and assortment of pens and pencils obviously for writing, but as he started pulling the items in the bag out one by one he saw something at the bottom of the bag. He reached for it and pulled it out. It was the engagement ring he saw Josh give to Kate the first time he woke up. He was hoping that it was just a dream but he had the proof right in front of him.

As much as he loved Beckett, he knew he couldn't stick around and have her around when he knew that she was going to marry someone else. It was one thing to watch her be with other men knowing that there was still a chance and staring at the proof that there was no chance. He quickly took all the items that were in the bag and replaced them zipping it up and putting it next to him right as Beckett walked back in caring a cup of coffee with a smile on her face. A smile that was put there because of Josh.

"What's wrong Castle? Were my presents not good enough for you? Do you need something more around the age of a 9 year old like a game boy?" she said with a chuckle.

She looked at him expecting a smile on his face at her joke, but she was just met with him looking the opposite direction with no expression on his face and his eyes distant.

"Is everything okay Castle? Are you in pain? Should I go get the doctor?" she said as she started to panic.

"Just tired. Look I think you should go. You don't need to be here. You have already done way more than you needed to."

His tone was bitter and he could see her flinch out of the corner of his eye. He tried to make it sound like he was just tired. He didn't want her to think he wasn't happy for her because he did want her to be happy and if she thought that was going to be with Josh then he was happy for her, but he couldn't stick around and watch. So he tried to pass it off as being tired, but he obviously failed as she grabbed the bag, gave his hand one more pat and went to leave. "When can I see you again?" She asked before she left.

"I should be getting out of here in a few weeks. I'll come visit you and the boys at the precinct." He figured that would be enough time for him to get used to the idea of her being engaged to Josh even if he didn't want her to marry him, but he also knew that while she was a major part for the reason he was still at the precinct, he did like working there. It gave him a sense of purpose.

Because he refused to look at her he didn't notice the hurt on her face as she left.

He didn't want to see her because he thought she was getting married to Dr. Motorcycle boy.

She thought it was because he hated her for putting him in danger.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Hey guys! I've got the next few chapters set up to where we are going to eventually ease Beckett and Castle back into their partnership at the precinct, but I don't want to get them together just yet. I think it is way too soon and too close to the shooting for them to get together and admit all their feelings for each other, but I am at a loss for what to do in between to keep the story moving without it getting boring and have their relationship bloom in a realistic manner. Any ideas would be great! Or if you have some funny/interesting cases you would like to see come to light or even anything you have ever wanted to see happen with Castle and Beckett, or cases within the actual episode you didn't like and want a different ending to just let me know and I will see what I can do!

* * *

Chapter 10:

Castle was released from the hospital three weeks after Beckett's last visit. Two weeks later when he was finally released to go back to the precinct under the strict rules that he was not to set foot outside of the bullpen and was definitely not allowed to go into the field under any circumstances, Castle actually felt like he could work side by side with Beckett without it sending a twinge of hurt to his heart every time he thought of her and Josh getting married.

At least that's what he told himself.

If he was being honest with himself, it hurt like hell. He would rather be shot again than have to deal with the fact that he lost the love of his life before he even got the chance. But he missed her. So that's why he was going back. When his mother and daughter questioned him about it he simply replied that he was going back because he felt like he was making a difference. Which he honestly did feel.

When his alarm went off the Monday morning he was going to make his return to the precinct, he had already been awake for hours. He wasn't going to lie and say he wasn't nervous. Sure he had kept in contact with Esposito and Ryan, he even tried to call Beckett a few times, but there was no answer. He just assumed she was busy planning her wedding and didn't have time to answer his phone calls. But what really bothered him was he didn't know what to expect. Did she still want him there? Was it going to be the same or would he have to cut out the flirting and the bantering that made them who they were? Would they still have the same dynamic as they had before Josh proposed?

These were all the questions running through his mind as he got dressed and left in the direction of the precinct. Making a quick stop at Beckett's favorite coffee shop, he finally arrived outside the precinct. He took a few deep breaths, before he stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the homicide floor. This was it. This was the moment that was either going to make or break him. He knew it would be hard, but if Beckett would still have him he thought he could manage and work through the awkwardness of knowing she would never be his, but if she didn't want him there and kicked him out… he didn't think he could handle that.

When the doors opened, his eyes immediately flew to Beckett's desk, but she wasn't there. There weren't any papers or anything sitting on her desk which was odd even if she was out. He quickly scanned the bullpen and found Ryan and Esposito standing in front of the coffee machine he bought for them awhile ago. With a smile on his face he strode into the break room.

"Hey guys! Miss me?"

When they turned around they had a look of shock and surprise on their face. Not what he was expecting, but maybe they just were surprised that he was back right now. He didn't tell him that he was coming back because he thought he would make it a surprise.

"Bro, what are you doing here?" Esposito said glancing at his partner, Kevin Ryan.

"I was cleared to come back so I thought I would surprise you guys and show up. Where's Beckett?" he asked glancing between the two detectives who were now shooting each other a look wondering whether or not they should answer him.

Before they could answer however, someone shouted for him from across the bullpen. Turning he saw a fierce looking woman motioning for him to come to Montgomery's office. She must be the new captain. Shooting a quick look at Ryan and Esposito they still looked like they weren't expecting any of this, but he would have time to question them later. He quickly walked out of the precinct setting down the coffee cups on Beckett's desk before sheepishly knocking on the door of what used to be Montgomery's office.

"You wanted to see me ma'am?"

"If my mother comes in, you can call her Ma'am. Call me Captain or sir."

"Uhhh yes sir." Castle said as he inched his way into the office.

"Mr. Castle, why are you in my precinct talking to Detectives Ryan and Esposito when they should be working?"

"I was cleared to come back to the precinct and resume my previous duties. The mayor should have called you to inform you of those" said Castle.

"Ah yes, I did receive the call, unfortunately for you Mr. Castle, Detective Beckett specifically requested that you no longer follow her before she left. Now I understand that you may have some items here from before the incident, so I will give you five minutes to get your things and get out of my precinct." Gates said motioning to the door.

However, Castle didn't budge.

"What do you mean before Beckett left? Where did she go?" Castle asked staring down this new captain. He already didn't like her.

"Beckett requested an indefinite period of leave from the precinct to deal with some personal issues. From my understanding, not that it is any of your business, but I am under the impression that she is spending some time with her father in his cabin. Now either remove yourself from my precinct or I will have you removed."

Castle sat there for a moment before he stood up and walked out of her office. He didn't even bother taking the few things he had left on Beckett's desk. When Esposito and Ryan called his name to try and stop him he just ignored them striding into the elevator and pressing the button for the ground floor.

Beckett asked for him to be kicked out of the precinct. He thought that he would be heart broken had he showed up and she told him she didn't want him to be there. But now. He wasn't heart broken. He was furious. She had the guts not only to get him kicked out of the precinct, but she had to be a coward about it and run off to hide at her daddy's cabin so she didn't have to do it herself. After he took a fucking bullet for her. No. She didn't get to run from him this time. If she wanted him gone she was going to have to tell him herself.

He stormed into the loft, ignoring his questioning mother and daughter and went straight to his room. Grabbing a bag he threw a few sets of clothes in there and some money and then went to his study. After a few internet searches and a few phone calls, he slammed the loft door behind him, address in hand as he sped off towards the cabin.

It wasn't he got there until he started to second guess himself. This might not be the best idea. After all, this wasn't Beckett's apartment, it was Jim's and he didn't do anything wrong. But he needed an explanation and if Beckett was going to run, he was going to follow.

Before he could talk himself, he walked up to the door gave it a few, firm taps and waited.

* * *

**A/N:** I am probably only going to do one more chapter for tonight before I go to sleep, but don't worry. I will be back at it tomorrow.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Beckett was curled up on the couch in her dad's cabin reading a book. It was _his_ book. She hadn't seen him since he told her that she should leave and he would come see her once he was released.

At first she was mad at him. She was mad at him for acting like it was her fault he got shot. That it was her fault he decided to jump in front of the bullet. But as she drove back to her apartment she realized that she couldn't be mad at him. He had every right to hate her. He had every right for him to not want her there anymore. After all she was the reason he had ended up shot.

But that didn't matter anymore because she was going to keep herself away from him. A few days after she left the hospital she went back to the precinct, but it just wasn't the same. She couldn't concentrate, was way off her game, and she missed him. As she sat in there in the precinct when she was supposed to be doing her paperwork, she found herself staring at his chair remembering all the times he had helped them solve the case. While his theories were quite annoying and ridiculous, they did often lead to solving the case.

After a week of sitting there staring at his chair, barely finishing any paper work, she was fed up. She couldn't work like this and she was only holding back Esposito and Ryan. So she made a decision. She stood up and walked into Captain Montgomery's office, well what was his office. When she walked in Gates didn't immediately acknowledger her so she just waited.

"What can I do for you Detective?" Gates asked without even looking up.

"I would like to take some personal time. I have some personal issues to work out and I only feel like I am bringing down my team by being here. I am incapable of focusing and performing my basic duties and therefore I think it would be best if I took some time off for the unforeseeable future." Beckett spat out before her brain talked her out of doing what she was doing. Gates looked up at her and gave her a look like she was trying to look deep into her soul.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Mr. Castle would it?"

At the simple mention of his name, her heart simultaneously flipped and dropped. While he was the reason she couldn't focus she wasn't going to let the Captain know that.

"No sir. In fact, I would also like to request that Mr. Castle no longer be allowed to shadow me or anyone at this precinct. He has more than enough research and I think that any further involvement with this team is unnecessary and as seen from recent events, only puts him in danger." There. If she knew Castle wasn't coming back and wasn't constantly looking up at every ding of the elevator she could get over this quickly and get back to work.

"Very well, but you will need to turn in your service weapon and badge while you are away. When you return you will have to undergo a psyche eval and retest for your service weapon. Good day."

Beckett didn't wait for anything more. She knew Gates well enough to know this was a dismissal and there would be no more conversation. She left her gun and badge on the desk and went to gather her things before briefly explaining to Esposito and Ryan that she was going to take some personal time and spend some time with her dad at his cabin.

And that is how she ended up here reading his books. She wouldn't deny that she missed him. So she read his books looking for all the little things that she knew were Castle. Looking for all the little jokes that she knew were him, reliving on the cases that they had been on and how much fun he had made her job. But like every other time she began to think about Castle she quickly snapped out of it.

Kicking him out of the precinct was the best thing to do. Sure she could have talked to him about it but he had made it pretty clear that he didn't want to talk to her about it when he kicked her out of his hospital room. So she did what she thought was best and kept him out of any further danger that was caused by him. And instead spent her summer reading at her dad's cabin.

Beckett was just about to continue reading when there was a sharp knock on the door. She wasn't expecting anyone, but her father had left about twenty minutes ago to head back to the city so he could have forgotten something. Which didn't make sense because he had a key, but who knows it was her father.

She marked her place in the book she was reading and slipped on her slippers as she made her way to the door. Unlocking the door she swung the door open.

"Castle?"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

_Beckett was just about to continue reading when there was a sharp knock on the door. She wasn't expecting anyone, but her father had left about twenty minutes ago to head back to the city so he could have forgotten something. Which didn't make sense because he had a key, but who knows it was her father. _

_She marked her place in the book she was reading and slipped on her slippers as she made her way to the door. Unlocking the door she swung the door open. _

"_Castle?" _

"Hello Detective." Castle said.

Beckett didn't miss the bitterness in his voice, but she couldn't believe that he was standing here at her door step. A little over a month ago she had seem looking like death laying a hospital bed. But now he was standing here in front of her looking healthy. Sure he was still a little bit thin, but he was still here and alive.

"Castle what are you doing here?" She tried to give it the bite she usually had when she wasn't pleased to see him, but she couldn't hide the bit of joy in her voice.

"Well, Detective." There was the bitterness and detective again. "Imagine my surprise when I am cleared from the hospital to go back to the precinct and I show up all happy and excited ready to start working again. But when I get there you are no where in sight and Ryan and Esposito look like they saw a ghost. Then imagine my surprise when I get called into the new captain's office and she explains that a certain detective personally requested that I no longer be allowed in the precinct before this same detective ran off like a coward unable to tell me to my face that she doesn't want me around. That is why I am standing here at your door at twelve thirty at night." By the time he was done, Castle had made his way through the door and into the entry room. The more he went on the angrier he got and the angrier he got the angrier Beckett got. Yeah she had him kicked out of the precinct and no she didn't tell him but that was because he had kicked her out of the hospital first.

"How was I supposed to tell you when you kicked me out of the hospital?" Beckett practically screamed.

Castle was caught off guard. He didn't expect that. Sure, he knew that she didn't know he knew about the engagement, but he assumed she would have figured it out. I mean why else wouldn't he want her there.

"That's different" he replied.

"How the hell is that different Castle? How is kicking me out of the hospital any different than me kicking you out of the precinct?" Beckett let out with a huff.

"Because you obviously didn't want to be there and you had more important things to do, I didn't want you to feel obligated to have to stick around so I kicked you out." Castle shrugged. It seemed pretty logical to him. Why was she so upset that he kicked her out.

"Why in the hell would you think I had better things to do? What could I possibly have done that makes you think I didn't want to be there and was only there because I felt like you were an obligation. I thought you knew better than that. We are partners. At least I thought we were." Beckett couldn't hide the disappointment as she said the last few words. It was true. She had thought they were partners and she thought that she had made that clear. But obviously it wasn't if he thought that she thought he was an obligation.

Castle just stood there staring at her. He couldn't decided whether or not he should tell her that the reason he kicked her out was because of Josh. Because he couldn't stand the idea of her getting married to another man, a man that wasn't him. When he didn't answer he could see Beckett getting angrier by the second.

"Well Castle?" asked Beckett.

"Josh." was all Castle said.

"What do you mean Josh? What does he have to this to do with any of this?"

"I didn't want you to have to sit by my bedside feeling guilty because I got shot jumping in front of you while you obviously were all happy because you and Josh are engaged."

Beckett wasn't sure she heard him right. He thought she was engaged to Josh? Why would he think that? Yes, Josh had proposed, but Castle hadn't woken up yet. Did someone say something to him?

"You think Josh and I are engaged?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

She wasn't expecting Castle to look at her yet, but when she did she saw a hint of anger and before it was taken over by a look of confusion.

"Because I saw him propose to you. It was early in the morning. I woke up for a couple of minutes and I saw you and Josh standing over by the door. He was holding the engagement ring and then you said something and he got an even bigger smile on his face and pulled the ring out of the box and went to put it on your finger, but by then I was knocked out again. Then you brought in your bag of goodies and the ring was in there so I assumed that you said yes and once again I didn't want you to feel obligated to hang around so I kicked you out. You are engaged aren't you?"

"No Castle. Josh and I aren't engaged." She let out a sigh and ran her hand through her hair before turning back towards the living room and heading to the couch.

Castle hesitated for a moment before following her and sat down on the other end of the couch.

"Why aren't you engaged?" Castle asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

"Yes, he proposed to me in the hospital, but I said no. When you saw him try to put the ring on my finger it was because he couldn't take a hint. Then when I went to head back to my apartment to after you woke up Josh was there thinking that I didn't mean it when I said I didn't want to marry him and somehow I guess the ring ended up in the bag because I was packing while he was trying to get me back" shrugged Beckett.

She chanced a glance at Castle but quickly looked away because he was looking at her with an intensity she couldn't handle at the moment.

"Why didn't you say yes" Castle finally asked after a few minutes of silence.

Because I want you. That's what she wanted to answer but thought better of it.

"Because I just knew that he wasn't the right one for me." At least that part was true.

"So if you weren't engaged to Josh, then why did get you mad at me for kicking you out of the hospital?"

Great this is not a conversation she wanted to be having but she knew she wasn't going to be left alone until she answered.

"I thought you hated me." Mumbled Beckett.

"Why would I hate you?" Castle had an honest tone of confusion in his voice which only confused Beckett even more.

"Because you got shot and I didn't. When I came back you told me that I had already did enough so I thought you hated me for getting shot instead of me."

Castle just sat there and stared. "Beckett… Kate… I was the one who jumped in front of the bullet. Why would I do that if I was just going to get angry later on because you didn't get shot?"

"Why did you?" This was the question Beckett had been wondering since she first realized he had been shot.

"Because that's what partners do. Plus I'm always looking to add another tally to my column when it comes to who has saved each other the most." Just like that Castle managed to bring them back to how they were. Making jokes in the middle of a serious conversation. But for the first time since he woke up, Beckett smiled.

They just sat there, leaning against the back of the couch staring at each other waiting for the other to speak. When the silence became too much Beckett looked away and decided to break the silence.

"So how are you feeling?"

"Better, some things still bring me a little bit of pain where the scar is, but other than that I've never been better. I was all ready to go be the crime fighting duo again before I was informed my services were no longer wanted." And just like that they were back.

"Sorry." Replied Beckett and she really was. She didn't want to have to kick him out but she was too concerned about his safety to allow him back on.

"Kate can I ask you something?"

"Sure Castle."

"Do you really not want me back?"

Beckett was surprised by the question and she saw the look of hurt flash across his face.

"It's not that I don't want you back Castle, its that its too dangerous for you to be following me around. Had you not been shadowing me still, you never would have been shot."

"Kate whether or not I was still shadowing you or not doesn't change the fact that I would still have been there by your side no matter what. I'm your partner and just because I'm not a cop doesn't mean I don't understand the risks. I knew when I signed up what the risks are, and you know no matter what, I don't regret a thing."

Kate was surprised by this. He was shot because of her and yet he wouldn't change a thing. He really wasn't mad at her for being shot.

"So… how do you expect to get back into the precinct if Gates kicked you out?" Beckett asked with a smirk on her face.

"I only let her kick me out because I had no reason to stay. Don't worry she loves me, she will let me back." As he said this he got his Castle smile back. The one that crinkled his eyes and lit up his eyes.

"Hey Castle?"

"Hmmm?"

"Thanks… for saving my life."

Castle looked at her with his piercing blue eyes as he said the words she realized she missed so much since his absence.

"Always"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

"_So… how do you expect to get back into the precinct if Gates kicked you out?" Beckett asked with a smirk on her face._

"_I only let her kick me out because I had no reason to stay. Don't worry she loves me, she will let me back." As he said this he got his Castle smile back. The one that crinkled his eyes and lit up his eyes. _

"_Hey Castle?"_

"_Hmmm?"_

"_Thanks… for saving my life." _

_Castle looked at her with his piercing blue eyes as he said the words she realized she missed so much since his absence. _

"_Always" _

It had been a week since Castle went to visit Beckett at her dad's cabin. Before he left they decided that it would be best for Castle to wait another week before he came in to the precinct, which would give Beckett the chance to talk to Captain Gates and explain the situation. Two days ago Castle would have been ecstatic to go back to the precinct, but that was before he received a phone call late last night.

_Castle had never been one to get excited about the first day of school. When the summer ended and school started his mother had her hands full trying to get him out of bed. But if Richard Castle had been excited about going to school, he imagined he would have felt like he did right now, laying in his bedroom staring at the ceiling as the time crept by one minute at a time. _

_It had been almost two months since he had been in the precinct. And apart from his visit to the cabin last week, it had been almost two months since he has seen Beckett and boy did he miss her._

_He missed the way her eyes would light up whenever he brought her coffee, he missed the way she would take a huge gulp of her coffee letting out a little moan of satisfaction, he missed sitting by her desk watching her do her paperwork, he missed the way her face scrunched up when she was thinking and something wasn't adding up like it should, he missed the way they would banter back and forth, he missed the way she would laugh at his jokes, and he missed the way her mouth would twitch as she fought back a smile because she didn't want him to know she enjoyed his crazy CIA and alien abduction theories. _

_But most of all he just missed her._

_Laying there he let his mind wander to the previous summer. He had asked her to join him in the Hamptons for the weekend. Of course he had to promise that there would be no funny business, but in all reality he didn't care as long as she was with him. And when she told him she would think about it, he felt like he had won a small victory. Usually she would just outright deny him, but she was actually thinking about it. He remembers how happy he was. But he was a fool thinking she was actually going to come with him. She already had plans. With Demming. She just didn't know how to tell him, so she told him she would think about it. Little did he know, she wasn't thinking about actually going, she was thinking about a way to turn him down. _

_So he did what he had to do. He left and he got his space. He knew he couldn't stick around the entire summer and watch her fall in love with Demming. He could barely handle it now. After all he was Richard Castle, and Richard Castle wasn't used to losing. _

_He had thought everything was getting better with Beckett and him. She seemed like she actually wanted him around, even admitted it on a few occasions. _

_He wouldn't lie to himself. When Beckett showed up at his book launch party and flashed her badge in his face, the only thing he could think of was sleeping with her. But he was glad she turned him down because had he not he wouldn't have met the extraordinary woman he knew today. So as time went on, his feelings for her grew, and then Demming showed up. _

_Castle would show up to the precinct with coffee and Beckett would turn it down because Demming had already brought it. Beckett and Demming would run theory with each other making Castle look like a third wheel. He was handling it just fine, but when he saw Beckett kiss him in the precinct it felt like a knife had been stabbed through his heart. _

_So when she rejected his offer for the Hamptons he knew he just had to get out of there._

_That summer had been the worst. He had invited Gina, but the was mainly because he just didn't want to be alone. But every time he sat down to write, he just thought of her and when he thought of her his writer's mind went off on terrible tangents imaging worst case scenarios. What if she had fallen in love with him? What if he had proposed? What if she said yes? What if she was already married? _

_Yeah, it wasn't the best summer. _

_And these last two months weren't any easier. The last time, they were just theories. Because her and Demming just started dating, there was no way they would be getting married right away. But this time, he saw Josh propose, he saw Josh go to put the ring on her finger, he saw the ring in the bag. _

_He wasn't lying when he said he would rather be shot again than have to sit there for two months knowing she was getting all cozy with Josh. _

_But she wasn't, and when she told him they weren't engaged, when she told them they weren't even together anymore it felt like he could breathe again. Like he had been holding his breath the entire time and now he finally found oxygen. _

_There was still a chance. _

_That's what he kept telling himself when his phone started ringing on the bedside table. _

_At first he thought it was going to be Beckett calling with the address for a dropped body, but when he rolled over to check his phone, it came up as a blocked number. It couldn't be Beckett. He let out a sigh before rolling over to take the call. _

"_Castle."_

"_Mr. Castle, we need to talk." _

"_Who is this?"_

"_I'm a friend of Roy Montgomery's."_

"_What do you want?"_

"_I told you, we need to talk. Meet me in Central Park in a half an hour. Find a bench and stay there, I will find you." _

_Before Castle could say anything more he heard a click letting him know the mystery man had hung up. He wasn't sure if he could trust this man. He had trusted Montgomery, but look at what he did. He thought about calling Beckett and asking her to go with him, but if this man was connected in the part of Montgomery's life that got him killed, he didn't want Beckett anywhere near him. So he did what he had to do. He got dressed and went to Central Park. _

_As he was waiting he was thinking of all the worse case scenarios, but anything he imagined was nothing close to the truth. _

_When the mystery man showed up he stayed in the shadows, not allowing Castle to see his face. He spoke quickly and quietly. He explained to Castle how before Montgomery died he sent him a package. This package contained information very damaging to the man who was behind Beckett's murder. It was meant to keep Detective Beckett safe, but the cemetery incident had happened before he received the package. But now he had it and he had the same deal Montgomery had before he died. As long as Beckett stayed away from the case, the file would remain a secret. That's where Castle came in. When Montgomery sent the file he enclosed information about Castle. He explained how Castle was the only one who could convince Beckett that her life was more important than her mother's case. _

So that's where he was now. His alarm was set to go off in thirty minutes, but Castle had already been awake for hours. He was excited about going back to the precinct, but now he wasn't so sure. He had to somehow convince Beckett to stop digging into her mother's case. He had to somehow convince her that her life was more important than her mother's.

He had to somehow convince her to give up everything, when he was the one who had brought it back up in the first place.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

Every time the elevator door chimed, Beckett's head shot up, hoping it was Castle walking through the doors, but every time it wasn't Beckett got more and more anxious.

Maybe he had changed his mind, maybe he didn't want to come back and he had decided that he really did hate her because of what happened. She wouldn't blame him. If the roles were reversed, Beckett wouldn't be able to forgive herself.

She would never admit it to anyone, but she missed him. She missed the way his eyes would crinkle when he smiled, she missed the way he would watch her do her paperwork, even if she told him it was creepy, she missed his inappropriate jokes, she even missed his crazy CIA and alien abduction theories.

But most of all she just missed him. She wanted her partner back. The one who would go to the ends of the earth to make sure she always had coffee, and would make sure she had food when she forgot to eat. The one who wouldn't go home until she did. The one who made her job just a little bit easier.

The last two months had been hell.

Sure she probably could have handled the situation better and actually talked to him, but who was she kidding. When she thought someone was going to hurt her she ran.

The past two months reminded her of last summer. She was with Demming at the time, but then Esposito stepped in and made her see what she was missing the entire time. Castle wasn't around for the books anymore, he was there for her. And definitely not to see her with another guy. So she broke up with Demming and asked Castle to talk, but before she could tell him how she felt, Gina turned up and she had to watch him walk away.

At first she had been mad at him. No she was furious with him for leaving her like that. But the more she thought about it, she realized he wasn't at fault. She was the one that was in a relationship with another man, she was the one that waited too long to tell him how she felt. After all, he had asked her to the Hamptons first.

She was miserable that summer. She had to admit she was a little ashamed of how she acted.

But that quickly went away and she was back to being furious when she realized that Castle was back and had yet to call. And imagine her surprise when she found him standing over a dead body holding a gun and was forced to arrest him.

She told herself she wasn't going to let him back on the team. She told herself over and over again that once they questioned him, she was going to let him go and never see him again because she was over him. But then they were sitting in the interrogation room and when she told him that she was no longer with Demming, his eyes lit up. They had that sparkle that had been missing for a long time, the sparkle that had been missing since Demming showed up.

So she made him a bet. If he could figure out the case before she could he could stay, but if she figured it out first he had to leave and never bother her or the team again.

She didn't know why she did it. But when she figured out that the whole thing stemmed back to counterfeit money and not drugs, she kept quiet. She didn't let Castle know that she figured it out. She waited until he figured it out, she let him win the bet.

So yes, that summer was hard, but these last two months were even harder.

He hated her. Or so she thought, but still he hated her because he was lying in a hospital bed and she wasn't.

Those first few days at the precinct were horrible. She had never felt so alone in her life. Sure Esposito and Ryan did their best to take the place of Castle, they even tried spinning some crazy theories, but it just wasn't the same.

Walking into Gates office was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. Not asking her for personal time, that was easy and she had enough of it saved up to take off for a year.

The hardest part was asking her to kick Castle out of the precinct. She knew she was probably being irrational knowing Castle probably wouldn't want to come back in the first place, but in that moment when Gates asked if it was because of Castle that she couldn't get her work done, she just wanted him gone.

She regretted it the moment she walked out of the precinct, but what was done was done.

And now she was sitting here waiting for Castle to once again show up. Her plan was to talk to Gates before he showed up, but when she went into her office to let her know that Castle would be coming back on Monday, she absolutely forbade it. She wasn't going to have some civilian writer in her precinct deciding that he was only going to come in when it was convenient for him. Beckett had thought this was the end, but when she called Castle to let him know, he told her not to worry, he would be there on Monday and there was no way Gates would kick him out.

She was snapped out of her daydream by the sound of the elevator. Not expecting it to be Castle for the hundredth time she didn't even bother to look. She just buried her head into her paperwork and got to work. But right when she was about to begin, a coffee cup appeared right in front of her.

"Good morning, Detective!"

She just stared at the coffee cup. She knew it was Castle, but still there was some part of her brain that was convincing her that she was being irrational and she was just daydreaming or even worse hallucinating. Great. She missed Castle so much she was hallucinating that he was there. Of course he wouldn't be there, he was shot because of her.

"Earth to Detective Beckett!" Castle said as he snapped his fingers in front of her face.

Beckett's eyes snapped up to take in the form now sitting in the chair besides her desk.

Sitting next to her was Castle. With the big smile that lit up his face waiting for her to reply. When she took in his smile there was no way she could stop herself from smiling and she felt her whole face light up at the sight of her partner.

"Hey Castle" she finally replied.

"Everything okay?" Castle's voice was laced with concern. He was way too sweet.

Before she could answer however Gates stormed out of her office looking straight at the two of them.

"Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle. My office! Now!" and with that she stormed back into her office slamming the door behind her.

* * *

**A/N:** I apologize for the delay. I would have had this chapter posted about an hour ago, but my computer decided to start making funny noises so my dad had to fix it. But all is good in the computer world and I am back and ready to write! Reviews are welcome!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

Castle and Beckett just there frozen staring at each other. Beckett was the first one to speak.

"I thought you said you were going to take care of this when I called you and let you know that she basically banned you from the precinct?" hissed Beckett on their way to the Captain's office.

"I did! At least I thought I did."

Beckett wanted to know exactly what he did to get himself back in the precinct but by now they were outside of the office and Gates was motioning for them to come in.

"Have a seat you two." Gates said pointing to the two chairs directly in front of her desk.

Castle and Beckett sat down shooting each other a look not quite sure what they were supposed to do next.

Gates just sat there looking between the two of them before she finally spoke.

"Detective Beckett, I have to say I am ashamed. I have heard a lot about you and never once did I think you would need a civilian in order to do your job." Gates said.

When Beckett went to protest Gates simply raised her hand to stop her from saying anything more on the matter.

"Now, because Mr. Castle here thought it would be appropriate to go to the Mayor, asking him to give me a call on the matter, I got my ass handed to me by my superiors for making him upset. So since it seems like I have no choice in the matter, Mr. Castle is allowed back into the precinct. But mark my words Detective. He is your responsibility, if anything happens to him, it is your job on the line. Are you sure you want Mr. Castle to remain on as what you call your 'partner"?" Gates smirked at this, she thought she had Detective Beckett cornered. She wasn't lying when she said she heard about this particular detective. She was definitely one of the best and if she was anything like the others have made her out to be, she wouldn't risk her career for some silly writer. However, what she didn't know was just how loyal these two were in regards to each other and how well they truly worked together.

"Yes sir. I am sure that I want Castle to remain on the team as my partner. He not only proves valuable to me, but I am sure the Detectives Esposito and Ryan feel the same when we say he is a valuable part of the team." Beckett looked over at Castle at this point and when she did her breath caught in her throat. Castle was looking at her with one of the most intense stares she has ever seen. His eyes were filled with gratitude and if she wasn't mistaken, pride. But what caught her off guard the most was that it seemed like there was a mixture of love in there. She immediately tore her eyes away from his. She was being silly. There was no way Castle felt about her like that. Sure, he had jumped in front of a bullet for her, not to mention was always by her side and there for her when she needed it, even when she didn't know she needed it, but that was just because they were partners. I mean that's what he said when she asked him why he jumped in front of the bullet. That's what partners do. Before she could start to freak out on the matter, Gates cleared her throat snapping Beckett out of her thoughts. She looked around to see Castle standing by the door looking at her with a look of confusion and Gates staring at her with a look of annoyance.

"I said you were dismissed Detective."

Beckett's entire face turned scarlet as she got up and walked out the door back to her desk. Before anyone could ask her about it she walked up to Esposito and Ryan's desk.

"Where are we on the sniper's case guys?"

Great. They had barely been back for ten minutes, and she was already diving right back into her mother's case. He needed to talk to her before she got too deep.

Esposito and Ryan didn't answer, but they just gave each other a look.

"What? Just spit it out guys."

"Well, when you left we decided to dig into Montgomery, Raglan, and McAllister's financials since we assumed that they would be getting rich off of the ransoms from kidnapping the mobsters so we managed to trace the money to a bank, but the bank shut down and all the files with the records were destroyed in a warehouse fire. We were going to go check it out, but by then Gates decided that we didn't have enough leads to keep investigating and we couldn't tell her about the money trail without incriminating Montgomery so she shut the case down." Ryan said glancing towards Gates who was watching them through the window. When he noticed he was being watched he picked up his phone and pretended like he was getting a call.

"He's paranoid about the new Captain. She's no Montgomery. But he has good reasons, Gates his a hard ass and any sign of us investigating the case when she shut it down would get us all bumped down to traffic" said Esposito as he got up and followed Ryan towards the break room.

"C'mon Castle, we need to go find out who was in charge of that investigation on the warehouse and find out if there was anything suspicious about it." Beckett turned on her heals and went to her desk to pull up the files she knew Ryan and Esposito would have left for her on her mom's case before Gates shut it down.

Castle sat down in his chair trying to come up with the words to convince her to take a step back before it was too late, but before he could say anything she found out the name of the fire chief on the job and was jumping up to grab her coat. She was half way to the elevator before she turned around and realized Castle wasn't with her.

"You coming Castle?" she asked from across the bullpen.

"What? Oh yeah." Castle said as he stood up to follow her to the elevator.

He needed to talk to her fast before he was too late. The whole way to the fire house he was unusually quiet and he could see Beckett shooting him questioning looks but he wasn't going to talk to her about it here.

The only thing he knew was that he needed to talk to her soon, before she got to deep. He wasn't sure how serious the threat was or how quickly they would find out that she was digging, but he knew that he couldn't lose her. He couldn't live without Beckett. But he wasn't stupid. She would never agree to just give up her mom's case and even if he managed to convince her to take a step back temporarily, it was only a matter of time before she started digging again and then they would be looking to take her out again. He couldn't take that chance. They needed to put this to an end without Beckett investigating, which meant there was only one option. He had to solve this and bring Beckett in only when he knew they had enough information to bring down whoever was behind this. He would probably end up getting kicked out of her life again, but like he said before. He would rather have her hate him and alive than have to live knowing she is dead.

He was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't notice that Beckett had gotten out of the car until he heard shouting from outside the car. He looked up to see Beckett shouting at the fire chief who was in charge of the investigation on the ware house. He quickly unbuckled his seat belt and ran up to her pulling her back from the chief before she got herself in trouble and the chief called Gates. It was their first day back. The last thing they needed was her getting in trouble because she went behind her Captain's back to investigate a case that Gates closed.

"Beckett! Let's go you can't get yourself into trouble. If Gates finds out about this you are going to get benched. Let's go!" He was pulling Beckett back to the car when she got the hint that she wasn't going to get in another word with the fire chief and she turned around and got into the car slamming the door.

The entire way back to the precinct Beckett was silent. Castle kept chancing glances her way, but whenever he looked she would shoot him a look and her jaw would clench even more than it already was so he decided he was just going to let it go for now, that was until they got back to the precinct and she went straight to her desk and started looking into the fire chief convinced that he was covering something up and was involved in the whole thing. She had barely been back for a day and she was already going down the rabbit hole.

"Beckett… Beckett… BECKETT!" The last yell not only got her attention, but the entire precinct turned their heads to look at the duo.

"What?" snapped Beckett.

"You need to stop." Castle let out his voice not quite as strong as he would have liked.

"What do you mean I need to stop Castle? This is my mother's case, I'm not going to stop." She stood up slamming down her pen and stood up and stormed into the break room.

Castle wasn't going to give up so he followed her in shutting the door behind them to give them some privacy from the curious looks they were getting in the bullpen.

"Beckett… when I first came here and I dug up your mother's case you got mad at me because you said the last time you looked into it you went down a rabbit hole until it was too late and you were too deep. That's why you stopped." Castle said.

"Yeah, well I didn't have any leads then so that is irrelevant. I'm fine Castle, just drop it. If you don't want to help me that's fine, you can go home, but I'm not stopping I'm fine." Even as it came out of her mouth she knew it wasn't the truth, but she was hoping Castle wasn't going to catch on, but of course he didn't.

"You aren't fine Beckett. You have been back for one day and you are already going down the rabbit hole. Look, I know you want to find your mother's killer and I don't blame you, but you don't have to do it right this minute. We are going to find her killer and we are going to put him in jail, but it doesn't have to be today."

Beckett couldn't help but look up, but regretted it the moment she did. Castle wasn't just asking her, he was pleading. His eyes were filled with desperation pleading with her to just give this up.

"Castle I can't just give this up. I don't know who I am without this. I can't let my mom down and if I stop I am letting her down." Whispered Beckett.

"Kate, you aren't letting your mother down because you decide that you would much rather live your life. I never met your mom, but I am pretty sure she wouldn't want you to throw your life away for her. Your mother's case doesn't make you who you are. You are extraordinary, smart, fierce and beautiful not because your mom was murdered, but because you decided to take your mother's murder and do something good with it. You say you want justice for your mom, well every time you solve a murder, every time you put a criminal behind bars and give another family justice you are getting justice for your mom because that is what she worked for her entire life, justice. So yes, right now you may not have justice for yourself, but that doesn't mean you are giving up and disappointing your mother. She would want this for you and I promise one day we are going to get justice for your mom, together, but it doesn't have to be this instant."

After Castle finished pleading his case he stood there watching Beckett. He thought she was going to say no, he thought she was going to tell him to go home, tell him that she wasn't going to stop investigating her mom's case when she turned to look at him.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes, okay. I will stop for now. But you're going to have to remind me every so often that I need to step back if I start to investigate again. For now at least."

"I promise." Castle said as a smile came across his face. He knew this wasn't a permanent solution. One day something else was going to come up involving her mother's case and they would be right back where they started with her digging into her mother's case, but right now they were together and she was alive and that is all that mattered.

"Castle?"

"Hmmm?"

"Thanks… for having my back and keeping me from going back down that road."

"Always."

And he meant it.

He would be there for her.

Always.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

Beckett and Castle had just returned to her desk when Beckett her phone beeped letting her know she had a text message. She picked up her phone and looked at it. It was from Lanie.

**Lanie: Get your butt down here right now! Girl talk!**

Beckett let out a sigh and started walking towards the elevator. If she had to guess, Esposito had texted Lanie the second they found out Castle was back and she probably wanted the details, even though there were none.

As she started walking towards the elevator Castle got up to follow her.

"Did a body drop?" he asked bouncing on his feet like a little boy on Christmas waiting to open his presents.

"No, I need to go talk to Lanie and you need to stay here. Stay out of my chair, I'll be back." She said as she got into the elevator and pressed the button for the morgue. She couldn't help but laugh at the pout on Castle's face as he turned around to head back to his seat. When Castle first came to the precinct she was so annoyed with him she was willing to do anything she could to get him out of there as fast as possible. Her first logical thought was that she worked with dead bodies and anyone else she had ever met couldn't stand the look and smell of one of Lanie's bodies cut open on the slab so she brought Castle to the morgue to have an up close and person look. Unfortunately, her plan didn't work. The sight of the body got Castle so excited he practically ran across the room to the table to get a closer look. So much for scaring him away, but hey she tried.

When Beckett walked into the morgue her suspicions were confirmed when there was no body anywhere in sight and Lanie was simply sitting on a table flipping through a magazine.

"Hey Lanie." Beckett said as she hopped up on the table across from Lanie.

"What is this I hear about Castle being back?" Gee she sure doesn't waste any time.

"Good morning to you too." Beckett said. She didn't plan on keeping Lanie out of the scoop and she knew she would have to spill before she would be allowed to leave, but it was always fun to watch her squirm.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now spill." Lanie said giving Beckett her best 'you aren't getting out of this one' look.

"I don't know what there is to tell, Castle decided that he wanted to come back, I talked to Gates, she gave him permission and now he is back." Said Beckett with a shrug. So it wasn't the whole truth, but she wasn't lying.

"Girl, don't give me that. The last time I saw you, you were snapping at people left and right because Castle wasn't here. So either you tell me the whole story, or I will text Javi and have him get it out of your writer boy up there." Beckett smirked. "Javi huh? Since when has it been Javi?"

Lanie just stood there letting her know she wasn't going to take any of her crap and she better start talking.

"Ugh fine. After Castle woke up in the hospital they had to give him some medicine which knocked him out again. So I went home and grabbed a few things to keep him busy. When I came back I dropped off the bag and went to get some coffee. Before I left, everything was fine, but when I came back Castle had a blank expression on his face and he told me I had already did enough and that I should leave." Lanie's face went from interested to angry in a matter of seconds.

"He kicked you out of the hospital? Why the hell would he do that!?" spat Lanie.

"Lanie the guy was just shot because of me, he had every right to be mad at me and he had every right to kick me out." Beckett really didn't want to have to explain this again.

Lanie was having none of it.

"No way girl. You were a mess waiting for him to come out of surgery. I've never seen you so messed up before. You didn't ask him to jump in front of a bullet for you. He knew exactly what he was doing when he did that and he doesn't get to be mad at you for that! I have to have a piece of my mind with him." Lanie began to walk towards the morgue doors obviously going to go talk to Castle.

"Lanie that isn't the whole story." Beckett said knowing it would keep Lanie here at least for the time being.

"Well what are you waiting for? Spit it out!" Lanie was angry. Now wasn't the time to mess with her.

"After Castle kicked me out of the hospital, I came back to the precinct, but I couldn't focus and I went to Gates to ask her for some personal time off. When I was in there she didn't even waste any time before she asked me if it was because of Castle. I was so pissed at everyone thinking I couldn't do my job so before I left I requested that Castle be kicked out of the precinct and not allowed back in to shadow me or anyone else on the team because he had enough research for his books and had over stayed his welcome and any continuation of his presence was only putting himself and others in danger."

"Wait a minute," Lanie said, her eyes going wide, "you are telling me that you requested for Gates to kick Castle out? And then you just disappeared?"

"Lanie are you going to let me finish the story or not?"

"Yeah, sorry, go ahead."

"Apparently, according to Ryan and Esposito, Castle showed up to the precinct last Monday all ready to work and everything. When I asked Gates to kick Castle out of the precinct, I never expected him to show up, especially since he was mad at me for getting shot, but he showed up and apparently Gates called him into his office, told him he was no longer welcome here because I personally requested for him to be kicked out and then told him if he didn't leave he was going to be kicked out."

"Damn girl. I bet writer boy wasn't happy about that. He at least deserved for you to tell him you didn't want him around." Lanie said as she shook her head.

"That's what he said when he showed up at my door at my dad's cabin." Beckett whispered hoping she wouldn't catch the end of that.

But this was Lanie we were talking about. She heard everything.

"Wait! He showed up at your dad's cabin?" Lanie gasped.

"Yup."

"What did he say?"

"He basically yelled at me for disappearing and leaving my dirty work to someone else. He said he deserved to at least be told to his face by me that I didn't want him in the precinct anymore."

"Yeah well he kinda has a point."

"Lanie, how was I supposed to tell him when he kicked me out of the hospital?"

"Did you tell him that?"

"Yes."

"Well good. If he is going to be all pissed off because he made the choice to take a bullet for you then he deserved to be put in his place." Lanie said as she turned back to her magazine thinking the conversation was over.

"Yeah, well it turned out I was wrong."

"What do you mean, you were wrong?" asked Lanie.

"He didn't kick me out of the hospital because he was mad at me."

"Then why did he kick you out of the hospital?"

"Um, that's no big deal." Beckett hadn't told anyone that Josh had proposed. If she did then she would have to admit that she broke up with him because he basically attacked Castle and she didn't want to have to listen to everyone go off on their rants about how her and Castle are blind and they should be together.

"Obviously if Castle kicked you out of the hospital, then it is a big deal. That boy can't get enough of you so if he kicked you out it was definitely a big deal, so spill."

"HethoughtIwasengagedtoJosh" Beckett rushed out speaking way too fast for anyone to understand.

"He what?"

"He thought I was engaged to Josh. When I was in the hospital I fell asleep next to Castle's bed and Josh came in and woke me up going on and on about how he wanted me to come home with him, how he had a rough couple of days and this was his only day off so he wanted to spend some time with me and he had something important he needed to discuss. But I didn't want to leave until Castle woke up and he got pissed at me, but I still wasn't going to leave so I told him if he had something important he needed to discuss with me then he could discuss it with me right there and then otherwise he could go home and wait for me to come home when I was ready. Well apparently he couldn't wait so he went on and on about how he wanted to take the next step in our relationship and he proposed to me. I had to tell him three times that I didn't want to marry him and that we were over before he finally left. Well apparently when all this was going down, Castle woke up for a few minutes, but couldn't hear what we were saying and he only saw Josh take the ring out when he tried to force it on my hand, but then he passed out so he didn't hear me tell him no. Then when I went home later Josh was sitting outside my door thinking that I didn't mean what I said, but when I explained that I did mean it I stalked off and went to go take a shower to get ready to go back to the hospital before he woke up. Josh must have slipped the ring into the bag because when Castle came to the cabin he told me how he was going through the bag and saw the ring which is why he kicked me out. He didn't want me to feel like I was obligated to be there when Josh was at home after proposing to me."

When Beckett was done she looked at Lanie and she was sitting there jaw hanging open.

"Lanie, if you don't close your mouth you are going to catch some flies." Chuckled Beckett.

"Let me get this straight… Castle kicked you out because he thought you were getting married to Josh?"

"Yeah, no big deal, we cleared things up."

"Girl you are so stupid!" Lanie jumped up from the table.

"What do you mean?"

"He is totally in love with you! That's why he kicked you out. It's one thing to stick around while you are just dating someone, but marriage is another thing. He couldn't deal with the fact that you were getting married so he had you leave!"

"Lanie you are ridiculous. Castle isn't in love with me. We are just friends."

"Girl! How blind are you? The man jumped in front of a bullet for you. If that isn't love I don't know what is!"

"It isn't love, that's what partners do." Right? That is what partners do right?

"Please girl. I am pretty sure if any other pair of partners were up there, they wouldn't jump in front of a bullet. Partners would do whatever they could to bring justice for their partners but they wouldn't jump in front of a bullet for them like Castle did. That isn't partnership, that's love."

"He doesn't love me Lanie. I have to get back to work. I'll talk to you later." Beckett said as she got up and walked out the morgue doors. Before she was out of earshot she heard Lanie yell, "He loves you girl! Don't let him get away!"

He didn't love her. He was Castle they were just friends, there is no way he loves her.

Right?


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

Beckett was deep in thought all the way back to the bullpen, but when the doors opened she pushed it all out of her mind.

When she stepped out of the elevator, she looked over to her desk. She thought nothing of it until she saw the look on Castle's face. He looked… pained, almost sick. And Esposito and Ryan looked angry. Whatever it was, she would get it out of Castle later. As she walked up to her dead Ryan was the first one to see her. After giving Esposito a quick smack, who also looked up to see Beckett walking towards them they gave Castle one last glare and then walked off in the opposite direction towards their desks.

When Beckett walked up to her desk, she looked at Castle hoping for some kind of clue as to what was going on, but Castle just sat there looking like he just saw a ghost staring straight ahead. She wasn't even sure he noticed she was there.

"Castle?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you alright?" she questioned, watching his features for the telltale signs that he wasn't.

When he looked up and his blue eyes met hers, there was a flash of unmistakable pain. It was gone in an instant before he schooled his features, but it hadn't been quick enough. It was the same look he gave her when he asked to speak to her about her mother's case after Will had been shot. It was the same look he gave her when he apologized for digging into his mother's case. It was the same look he gave her when he told her he would stop following her after she had shot Coonan. The same look he gave her when he thought she had been shot during the Raglan case and the same look he gave her after he punched out Lockwood. It was the same look that resided in his eyes when they both realized time was quickly running out and the same look he gave her when they thought they were going to die from the dirty bomb right before he pulled the wires. It was the look he gave her when he thought she was going to get hurt, either by him or someone else.

He was in pain because he thought she was hurting. What the hell had Esposito and Ryan said to him?

"Uh, yeah. Sorry just…uh… spaced out for a second." Castle said, purposely avoiding her eyes.

The truth was, he wasn't alright. He wasn't even close to being alright. When Beckett left to go talk to Lanie, he knew he would probably be approached by Esposito and Ryan, he knew they would want to know what was going on, but he never once expected what they had told them. They didn't sugar coat anything as they told him how Beckett had to be pried from his body, how she had nearly collapsed when the ambulance doors closed, how she was like a ghost in the hospital, how she wouldn't eat or drink anything for days and would snap at anyone who had tried to talk to her. That wasn't all. They told her how she had been a mess after she came back from the precinct because HE kicked her out. How she just sat there staring at his chair, day after day until she snapped and requested personal time. She was broken and hurting and Esposito and Ryan were right, he had no business being here. All he ever managed to do was hurt Beckett. He thought he had been helping, but once again he had been wrong. Oh so very wrong.

When he looked up, he saw Beckett staring at him. Her eyes were scrunched up, eyebrows furrowed. It was her 'something isn't right here' look. Before he could question her she stood up, pushing her chair in.

"Come with me, Castle." She said. It wasn't a question.

Castle stood up and followed her into one of the empty observation rooms. She held the door open and motioned him to enter, following him in behind him. Before she shut the door and locked it he saw Esposito and Ryan glaring at him from across the bullpen.

Beckett immediately turned around and leaned against the door crossing her arms.

"What's going on Castle?"

"Nothing." He knew she wouldn't believe him, he couldn't look her in the eye.

"That's bullshit and you know it. When I went down to see Lanie, everything was fine. Then I come back up to see tweedledee and tweedledum talking to you and when they notice me they run back to their desk and you look like you've seen a ghost. So you are going to tell me what's going on. Neither of us are leaving here until you tell me what the hell is going on." She snapped. She didn't mean to sound so rude, but she hated how Castle would always prod and poke into her life, but the moment something was wrong and she asked, he would suddenly fall silent.

For the next few minutes Castle just stood there looking down at the ground with the occasional glance at Beckett obviously waiting to see if she would falter in her threat. When it was clear she wasn't going to, he backed up against the wall and sunk to the floor looking defeated. That surprised her. He looked so hurt and scared and it had something to do with her.

"I shouldn't be here." He mumbled staring at the floor.

"What do you mean you shouldn't be here?"

Castle sighed. He obviously didn't want to be telling her this.

"Esposito and Ryan… they told me what happened. At the funeral and in the hospital and after you came back to the precinct when I kicked you out of the hospital. You were hurting, and you stopped taking care of yourself and you were miserable. All because of me. I have no business being here, following you around when all I do is hurt you and annoy you. I don't deserve to be here when all I have done is because you pain."

So that's what this was about. He was feeling guilty because she fell apart. No, he was feeling guilty because Esposito and Ryan had opened their big mouths. But this wasn't about them right now. She would deal with them later.

"Castle look at me." He didn't budge.

"Castle." She said once again in her best cop voice she used with all the hardest criminals.

Castle looked up to find Beckett looking at him with a glare that could break the toughest criminals. And let's face it, he was nowhere near tough. He adverted his eyes, trying to look anywhere that wasn't that intense glare, but when she didn't go on he knew he had no other choice and his gaze locked with her once more.

Beckett watched as Castle lifted his head and looked at her and then immediately looked away. So she just waited because she knew he wouldn't believe what she had to say unless she could see the truth behind it in her eyes, so she waited. After a few seconds of Castle looking everywhere but her, she saw him let out a small sigh and finally locked his gaze with hers. When she was satisfied he wasn't going to look away she continued.

"Castle, how long have you known me?"

"Three years." he mumbled.

"Exactly. Now think about those four years. Do you really think if I didn't want you here, do you really think if I blamed you for any of the things you are blaming yourself for or were mad at you for any of the things you are mad at yourself for, you would still be here?" she asked.

"That's not the point Beckett." Castle replied.

"No Castle. That is the point. Yes, you have some pull with the mayor, and yes I will admit sometimes you get on my nerves, but again I am asking you, do you honestly believe that if I didn't want you here, you would still be here?"

"No, but…"

"No buts Castle. I want you here and I promise if that ever changes I will let you know and I will let you know why. But right now, especially after everything that has happened, I definitely want you here because you are my partner and I am going to need my partner. Especially if I am expected to do what you asked me to do earlier. Okay?"

Castle stared at her, staring into her eyes. One of the things Beckett was good at was keeping her face neutral when she didn't want anyone to know what was going on, but not for Castle. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know and more and that's exactly what he looked for in this moment. What he saw was the truth. She really did want him to stick around. Why, he had no idea, but if Beckett wanted him there then he was going to stay there.

"Okay." He finally responded.

"Good. You should go home and see Alexis. It's late."

"Beckett, you know I'm not going to leave until you leave."

"Don't worry Castle. I'm going to have a little chat with a couple of knuckle heads and then I will head home. I'll see you tomorrow." Beckett replied with a small smile on her face.

"Okay, until tomorrow Kate."

Kate. She loved it when he said Kate.

"Until tomorrow Castle."

Beckett stood there watching Castle as he grabbed his coat and walked toward the elevator. She waited until the doors closed before she spun around on her feet scanning the bullpen looking for the two detectives.

"Esposito, Ryan. Break room. Now."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

Beckett waited for Esposito and Ryan passed her and entered the break room before she followed him and shut the door behind her, taking a few deep breaths before she turned around.

She wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Technically they didn't know the entire story and she knew they were just trying to protect her from getting hurt. But she was still angry with them. Because whether or not they knew the whole story or not, Castle was her partner and he was part of their team and no matter what the situation, you never turned you back on a member of your team. So yes, she would give them a chance to explain, but she was still pissed.

"Care to share with me what you said to Castle?" she asked trying to keep her voice as steady as possible.

Esposito and Ryan just looked at each other, silently deciding how much they wanted to share.

Ryan was the first one to speak.

"We were just asking him how he was feeling."

"Yeah Beckett," added Esposito, "we hadn't seen him in a while and never really had a chance to go visit him in the hospital before he was discharged so we were just catching up."

Beckett just stood there, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. She wasn't in the mood for games and Esposito and Ryan obviously realized this because they took a few steps back obviously trying to put distance between them and the wrath that was surely going to come.

"So you two are telling me, that it was necessary for you to wait until I was out of the room in order for you to simply ask Castle how he was doing when you could have easily come up to him first thing in the morning and asked him?"

She glanced between the two of them, watching in slight amusement as they obviously tried to think of how they were going to talk themselves out of this one.

This time Esposito was the one to speak up.

"We were going to, we just were working on paperwork and by the time we were done you and Castle were gone so we just waited until you got back which was when you went down to see Lanie."

Alright, she was done playing games. She just wanted to get this over with and get home and spend a nice, relaxing evening soaking in her bath with a nice book and glass of wine.

"So you two are telling me that when I went down to see Lanie, you didn't go up to Castle, told him that I collapsed at the cemetery after he was taken in the ambulance? You are telling me that you didn't tell him that I didn't eat or drink anything for two days and that I would refuse to talk to anyone besides the doctor? You didn't tell him that I was such a mess when I came back to the precinct that I had to take personal time? You are choosing to stand there and tell me that you didn't basically imply to Castle that he had no business being here?" she snapped. So much for remaining calm.

Once again, Esposito and Ryan glanced between each other and by the looks on their faces they obviously decided it was time to be truthful.

"Look Beckett, we are your friends, and we should have come talk to you, but honestly… how can you even want Castle here after what he did?" asked Ryan before he glanced away.

"Yeah chica. I've never seen you like that before. You were a mess and I honestly thought we were going to have to check you into a psych ward or something." Esposito said as he winced at the glare Beckett gave him.

Ryan once again spoke up trying to save his partners ass. "What Esposito was trying to say was, we were just trying to help. We were worried about you. When Castle showed up, we figured that Castle used his connections with the mayor to worm his way back in without regards to what he did to you, with the whole kicking you out and blaming you for getting show thing, and that wasn't okay. So we took matters into our own hands and let him know he wasn't welcome whether or not he had connections. No one hurts a member of our team and gets away with it."

The room fell silent after that. Beckett just stood there thinking. If she had to be honest with herself she couldn't really blame them. She knew that if the roles were reversed and she only had the information they had, she would have done the same thing.

She ran her hands through her hair and down her face before letting out a sigh.

"Look guys I get it. I understand you were just trying to help, but you should have come and talk to me first because Castle didn't kick me out because he was mad at me for getting shot."

If she wasn't still slightly pissed she would have laughed at the confused look on her two friend's faces' standing before her.

"He didn't?" Esposito asked first.

"If he wasn't mad at you, then why would he kick you out? We all know how much Castle loves to have you around." Ryan added.

She didn't really want to stand here and tell them this, but she knew that if she didn't they would still hold a grudge against Castle and she really just wanted things to go back to normal.

"When I was in the hospital, Josh came to take me home, but I didn't want to leave until Castle woke up. Josh got kind of angry because it was his first day off in a while and he had something important he needed to discuss with me. When I still refused to leave I just told him to say whatever he needed to say right then and there. So he did. He pulled out an engagement ring going on and on about how he wanted to take the next step and get married and everything and I guess that Castle saw this so he kicked me out because he didn't want me to feel like I was obligated to be there just because he saved my life when I should be at home celebrating with Josh."

"You're engaged?" they said in unison.

"Gee, now I see why you think it's creepy when Castle and I do that. But no, Josh and I aren't engaged. I guess when Castle woke up, he saw Josh standing there with the ring, and he couldn't hear what I was saying. Josh was telling me to just take the ring and think about it and then put it on when I was ready and when I told him I didn't need time to think, he took that to mean I was saying yes so he took out the ring and tried to put it on my finger. Of course, I told him no and made it clear that we were over, but Castle passed out again before that so the last thing he saw before he fell back asleep was Josh reaching to put the ring on my finger and because he couldn't hear me he assumed that I was engaged. It probably didn't help that the ring somehow ended up in the bag of things I brought for Castle."

As she finished talking she looked up and Esposito and Ryan to see the biggest grins on their face. "What?"

"So you are telling me that you and Josh are not only not engaged but you are no longer seeing each other?" Ryan asked.

"Nope."

"And Castle said he kicked you out because he thought you two were engaged?" Esposito added his smile growing

"Yes…" she added not quite sure where they were going with this.

Esposito turned to Ryan, pulling out his phone. "Now it makes sense why Lanie was going on and on about restarting the bet."

Ryan nodded in agreement.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Before you came back up here, Lanie texted me and told me that we needed to reopen the bet. It all makes sense now." Said Esposito

"I feel like I'm missing something." Beckett said. What did this new revelation have to do with the bet?

"Ryan, you are the married one, want to explain this?" Esposito said turning to his partner.

"It's simple Beckett. Castle is in love with you." Ryan said with a smirk.

"Castle isn't in love with me, why does everyone think this?"

"Because he does. If Jenny was with someone else and told me she was getting married, or I thought she was getting married I would do the same thing. I would pretend to be happy for her, because I just want her to be happy, but I would have to get out of there as soon as possible."

"Yeah same with Lanie," Esposito added. "He didn't kick you out because he was worried about the amount of time you were spending with Josh, he kicked you out because he couldn't stand the thought that he lost you. It was one thing having to deal with you two dating, but it is a whole different level of pain when it comes to marriage."

Beckett just stared at them as they stared back smirking. She shook her head, left the break room and grabbed her coat heading to the elevator. They were just kidding right? There was no Castle was in love with her. They were just friends. But as much as she tried to push the thought out of her mind it just came roaring back and for the second time that day she couldn't help but let herself wonder. As she stepped out of the elevator and into her car she pushed the thought aside. There was no way Castle loved her.

Right?

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay. As I said before, I went to Chicago on Thursday and then I decided I was going to rewrite Chapters 17-20. Then when I went on to post Chapters, my story was removed and I was prohibited from posting anything until the 31st. So that is why there was a delay.

To those of you who reported the story, I am sorry if you didn't like it, but did you really have to report it? There are people out there who were enjoying it and now they were forced to wait. If you had a problem with the story you could have told me and I would have gladly did what I could to fix it.

Well that's all for now. Please review

Oh and I know I have it rated M, but that was more of a I know what's coming so I just saved time type thing. We will get there soon.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

_*Ding!* _

Beckett's head shoots up for the fifth time that morning as she hears the distant *ding* letting her know that someone was arriving on the homicide floor, but for the fifth time that morning, she is disappointed when Castle isn't the one to step out of the elevator.

As she gets back to work on her paperwork, she can't seem to get rid of the twinge of disappointment still lingering. She knows she is being stupid, Castle let her know he would be in by 9 and it was only 8:45, but every time she heard the elevator arrive on their floor, she couldn't help but get excited. She tried to tell herself that it was just because she needed her coffee or that she was just ready for things to get back to normal. But those arguments didn't even sound convincing to herself.

*_Ding!*_

This time she merely glanced in the direction of the elevator, unable to stop herself, but knowing that it wasn't going to be Castle. But as she went to go back to her work, she saw Castle walk out of the elevator goofy grin on his face, two cups of coffee in his hand.

As the elevator doors closed behind him, she watched as his eyes scanned the bullpen, obviously looking for something. She didn't think his smile could get any bigger, but when his eyes connected with hers, his face lit up with a smile she noticed he only reserved for her. As he began to make his way towards her, she ducked her head down, hoping he didn't notice her blush.

"Good morning Beckett!" Castle practically sang as he placed her coffee on her desk in front of her.

She picked up the coffee and took a big sip. She couldn't help but close her eyes as she felt the warmth radiate throughout her body. She missed his coffee. She knew it was from the coffee shop around the corner, she has even stopped there on occasion to grab herself a cup when Castle wasn't going to be in until later in the day, but no matter what she did, her coffee never tasted as good as it did when it was from Castle.

Wrapping her hands around the cup to feel the warmth.

"Thanks Castle." She said after a few moments. She couldn't help but smile when she saw the pure look of joy on his face.

"Why Detective Beckett, if I didn't know better, I would think you just kept me around for the coffee." Castle replied with a sheepish look on his face.

"I thought I was hiding it better than that?"

Castle mimicked the sound of a knife being stabbed through his heart. "You wound me Detective!"

She couldn't help but laugh. It was nice to know that despite everything that happened, nothing seemed to change between them.

As she her laughter subsided she turned back to Castle to see his grin grow wider, but as quick as it appeared, it disappeared and suddenly his face was expressionless. She was about to ask him what was wrong when he stood up mumbling about needing to go to the bathroom as he stood up and quickly disappeared into the break room.

She was about to get up to follow when she heard footsteps approaching her desk from behind her. Turning around she saw that it was Esposito and Ryan.

"Morning Beckett." They chimed as they sat down and pulled paperwork towards them. Glancing back at the break room, she noticed Castle watching them with a solemn expression.

Oh. The last time he saw the boys was when they were telling him he had no business being there and she had sent him home before she talked to Esposito and Ryan.

"Esposito, Ryan." She yelled across the bullpen.

"Yeah, boss?" Ryan asked as they approached her desk.

"Remember that talk we had last night?" she asked, glancing between the two detectives standing between them.

"Yeah Beckett, we remember, why do you ask?" replied Esposito.

She didn't say anything else she just nodded toward the break room.

The two detectives followed the direction she was indicating to see Castle pretending to clean the coffee machine. Instantly, their faces fell.

"Right. We'll take care of that." Ryan replied as him and Esposito made their way around the desk and towards the break room.

* * *

Castle wasn't going to lie, he was nervous.

After his talk with Beckett he knew that she wanted him there, but that didn't make his trip to the precinct any less nerve wracking because he knew if this whole thing with Esposito and Ryan became a problem he was the one that would have to leave because as much as he felt like he was contributing, he wasn't a cop. They were.

So yeah, he was nervous.

Stepping out of the elevator, he made sure he had his most convincing smile on his face as he scanned the bullpen looking for Beckett.

When he saw no sign of her in the bullpen he looked towards her desk expecting to find her doing paperwork, but when his eyes caught hers he couldn't keep a smile off her face if he tried.

She was watching him, and judging by the blush the crept its way up her neck and settled in her cheeks, she knew she was caught.

When he sat down in his chair next to her desk and watched as she took a sip of the coffee he placed on her desk, he couldn't help but feel a tiny flutter in his heart as she closed her eyes, he even swore he heard a tiny moan.

When he made a joke about her only keeping him around for his coffee and she let out a laugh he couldn't help but fall in love with her just a little bit more.

Any worry he had on his mind on how things would go after everything that has happened the last few months was quickly forgotten. That was until he saw Esposito and Ryan step off the elevator and everything came rushing back all at once. Without giving Beckett a chance to question him, he stood up, mumbled something and quickly made his way to the break room.

He knew he wasn't going to fool Beckett, he just came in with two cups of coffee. When he glanced up through the window he saw Beckett talking to Esposito and Ryan. When she nodded her head in his direction and both detectives looked up, he quickly made himself look busy, he was so distracted in his fake task that he didn't notice Esposito and Ryan come in until he heard the soft click letting him know the door was closed.

"Hey Castle." He heard Ryan say, a bit of hesitancy in his voice.

"Hey." Castle replied turning to face them.

Esposito and Ryan looked at each other before they both let out a sigh.

"Look bro," Esposito said stepping forward, "we owe you an apology for yesterday."

"Yeah," added Ryan, "we were acting on what we thought was going on based on Beckett's reaction. We didn't know the whole story and we should have talked to you about it before we said anything."

Castle looked between the two detectives, and he wanted to be mad he really did, and he still kind of was, but how could he stay mad when deep down he knew they were just trying to protect Beckett.

"Its okay guys, yeah it stun a little that you would think that I would ever do anything to hurt Beckett, but I get it, you were just trying to keep her from getting hurt." Castle said.

"That still doesn't excuse it. For a long time it was just the three of us. But now you are here too and despite the way we acted we really do see you as a member of the team. We acted without thinking. We know you would never intentionally hurt Beckett. I think you proved that much when you took a bullet for her." Ryan said as Esposito nodded besides him.

"Well, I appreciate it guys, but it is really okay. In all honestly, I probably would have done the same thing if I was in your situation. So let's just put this behind us alright?"

"Alright." The two detectives replied.

Castle made his way back to his desk. As he sat down in his chair, he let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

He was part of the team.

He turned to look at Beckett, to find her already staring.

"Everything okay?" she asked glancing in the direction of the boys as a silent question.

"Everything's perfect" he replied.

For the next few hours, Beckett continued to make progress in the stack of paper work on her desk while Castle sat there playing on his phone, glancing up at each other every so often when they thought the other wasn't looking. Every once in a while they would look up at the same time and every time Becket's entire face would go red as she quickly ducked her head down, hiding behind her curtain of air while Castle's smile just got bigger.

When Castle finally ran out of things to do he stood up and grabbed his coat.

"C'mon Detective. I'm taking you to lunch at Remy's."

"Castle, I'm working." She replied not even glancing up at him.

"Yes, and you can work when you come back. You need to eat and if we can bring something back for the boys."

Beckett looked up at him to find him giving her the puppy dog eyes he knows she can't resist.

"Fine." She said grabbing her jacket and heading towards the elevator.

The car ride there was silent. When the pulled up in front of Remy's and stepped through the door, Castle looked around for a moment like he was searching for someone, before he seemed to find what he was looking for and head to the booth in the back.

As Beckett went to follow him, she noticed someone was in the booth he approached.

When the girl turned around to greet Castle, her stomach dropped.

It was Alexis.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for the reviews and positive comments! I am glad to see that you guys enjoy the new chapters and I am glad I made the decision to change.

My spring break is officially over, so I am probably only going to be able to post a new chapter every 1-2 days depending on my homework. But don't worry. When I get the chance to write, I will write as much as I can.

Enjoy!


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

_As Beckett went to follow him, she noticed someone was in the booth he approached. _

_When the girl turned around to greet Castle, her stomach dropped. _

_It was Alexis. _

To say that Beckett was surprised was an understatement. Surprised didn't even begin to describe the emotions running through Beckett right now. After all, the last time Beckett saw Alexis had been in the hospital.

_Beckett had already sunk to the floor and was staring at the wall in an entirely different world when she heard the waiting room doors burst open, slamming against the wall. Looking up to see what the disturbance was she Alexis storming through the doors and she was heading straight for her. Beckett stood up and put on her strong face, ready to offer any sort of comfort she could in order to make this easier for Alexis, but before she could say anything, Alexis was already screaming at her, face burning red. _

"_This is all your fault! My dad was shot because of you!" Alexis screamed. _

"_Alexis…" Beckett tried to say. _

"_No! You don't get to say anything you get to stand there and listen to me! For years I watched my dad go off to follow you around, and I didn't have a problem with it because he was happy, I never saw him so happy. At first I just thought it was because he was excited about this new book he was going to write, but after a while I realized it was so much more than that. I didn't know how much more until he brought you home after your apartment blew up. He NEVER brings anyone home unless they are important. He was so happy! But you were just stringing him along the whole time. Playing a game, playing with my dad's feelings. You never felt the same way he did. He would come back again and again, risk his life again and again and you let him! And now he's shot! Because you're a coward and you couldn't tell him that you didn't feel the same way! It should be YOU on that table fighting for your life, not my dad!" _

_Before Beckett could say anything else, Alexis turned around and marched right back through the waiting room doors. _

So yeah, surprised was definitely not the word to describe how shocked she was that Alexis agreed to come to lunch with her being there.

Or so she thought.

Judging by how fast the color drained out of Alexis's face, she was just as surprised that Beckett was there as Beckett was that Alexis was there.

Taking a deep breath, she shrugged out of her coat and sat down in the booth next to Castle.

"Hi Alexis" she said hesitantly, not entirely sure what to expect.

"Hi Kate." Alexis replied.

Hmm, Kate. This had to be a good sign right?

The three of them sat there in silence for a few moments before Alexis stood up. For a moment Kate's heart dropped thinking she was going to leave.

"I'm going to go to the ladies room, I'll be right back. Dad can you order my usual for me?" Alexis asked avoiding Kate's eyes.

"Of course, pumpkin" Castle replied giving Alexis that smile he gave when he was in full father mode, that smile that made Kate's heart beat just a little bit faster.

Alexis gave a nod and a small smile before turning around and heading to the bathroom.

Beckett waited until Alexis was out of sight before she turned to Castle.

"I should go. You need to spend time with Alexis and I shouldn't be here." She said as she started to stand up, but before she could get very far Castle was grabbing her hand, pulling her back in the booth.

"Beckett, it's okay. I know." Castle said, a soft smile on his face.

What does he mean, he knows?

"What?" she asked honestly confused.

"Alexis told me what happened in the hospital." He said.

Oh.

"Oh." She said looking away from his searching eyes. "Why?"

"When I came back from your dad's cabin she asked where I was and when I told her, she got this really guilty expression on her face and then she asked me if I was mad. Of course, having no idea what was going on I was confused. I think she just assumed that you were going to tell me what happened and figured I would be mad. At first she didn't want to talk about it, but eventually she told me everything. For the past few weeks she has been feeling really guilty about it and she wants to talk to you, but I think she is scared because every time I suggest she goes to talk to you she clams up and makes up some excuse about homework or hanging out with friends or something, so I figured if I got you two in the same place, then maybe she would talk to you." Castle replied looking more unsure of himself the more he explained.

Before she could respond, Alexis came back sitting down across from her and once again an uncomfortable silence fell over them.

Castle was the first one to speak.

"Well if you ladies could excuse me, I am going to go order our food."

Beckett watched him slide out of the booth and head towards the counter, shooting her an encouraging smile before he turned to place the order.

For the third time that afternoon, an uncomfortable silence fell between Alexis and her. It felt like eternity just sitting there, awkwardly staring at everything, but each other.

"Detective Beckett?" Alexis whispered.

Here we go.

"Hmm?" she replied curiously looking at the young woman sitting across from her, trying to keep herself calm.

"I wanted to apologize… for what I said in the hospital." Alexis started.

Before she could get any farther, Beckett interrupted her.

"Alexis, it's okay. I would probably have done the same thing if I was in your situation." She said hoping that was enough to the teen. She didn't want Alexis to feel bad, and she really didn't have anything to apologize for, she had every right to say everything she said.

"No, I still need to apologize. You didn't deserve anything I said. When I told my dad what I did, he explained to me how it was his fault. He told me how he dug into your mother's case, even when you asked him not to time and time again, he told me how you were constantly trying to get him to step away when things got dangerous and how you even asked him to leave before the funeral, but he never listened. I was just scared that I was going to lose my dad and I was looking for someone to blame. But the more I thought about it, I realized it wasn't your fault. You didn't ask for your mom to be killed, you didn't want to get shot, and you definitely didn't ask my dad to jump in front of you and get shot. So I'm sorry."

"Alexis, really its okay. I know how it feels to lose a parent, to think you are going to lose a parent. I understand the unavoidable anger and the need to blame someone, anyone, even if you know deep down that it wasn't their fault. While it did sting a little bit, I am glad that I could be there for you somehow, even if it was just to unload some of your anger." Kate said as she squeezed Alexis's hand that was sitting on the table offering her a comforting smile.

"Kate?" Alexis asked.

"Yes?"

"When I said it should have been you on the table, I didn't mean that. I wouldn't want you on the table any more than I want my dad on the table. I don't particularly understand what is going on with you and my dad, but I know the moment he met you, something changed. I have never seen him so happy, even when things are… bad… between you two… he's still different, better. You make my dad happy, and that makes me happy. If something had happened to you, I would have still lost my dad, because you are part of who he is. He would have been devastated and so would I because even if I haven't done the best job at showing it, you're the closet thing I have had to a mother. So I just wanted you to know that I didn't mean that at all. You are a part of our family, and something would have been missing if something happened to you."

Wow. "Thank you Alexis. That means more to me than you know. And while I know it doesn't change anything and it doesn't fix the fact that I have hurt your dad more times than I care to admit, I wish it was me on the table just so it didn't have to be him. I would get shot in an instant if it meant keeping you dad safe and alive."

Alexis finally looked up at her with a look of relief and shock.

"You would really get shot to save my dad?" she asked hesitantly.

"In an instant." Beckett replied honestly and it was true. Whether she would admit it or not, she loved Castle and a world without him, wasn't a world she wanted to live in. She would do anything to keep him alive and safe even if it meant something as drastic as getting shot herself.

Alexis just stared at her with a look of curiosity on her face.

"You really do care about my dad, don't you?" Alexis asked, a small smile making its way onto her face for the first time since Castle left.

"More than you know, Alexis, more than you know." She replied as she looked up to see Castle making his way back to the table.

As Castle approached the table, he couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief when he saw his two ladies with smiles on their faces. Genuine, happy smiles.

"Everything okay between you two now?" he asked glancing between Alexis and Kate.

They both looked at each other, breaking out into identical grins.

"Everything's perfect, dad." Alexis replied.

"Good." Castle said as he took a sip of his milkshake, sneaking his hand under the table to give her hand a squeeze.

As they sat there eating their meal, talking about everything and anything, joking around, laughing, Beckett couldn't help but grin.

As she sat there, her right hand intertwined with Castle's left under the table, she felt truly happy for the first time in a long time.

She felt happy.

And loved.

* * *

**A/N:** I am not entirely sure about this chapter, I think I did an okay job, but let me know what you think!


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

It was an early Monday morning and the bullpen to the 12th was practically deserted. Beckett decided to come in a little bit earlier to look over some old case files, but those were laying scattered across her desk, long forgotten.

Beckett had every intention of doing work that morning, but sitting in the quiet bullpen with no interruptions proved distracting in itself as Beckett let her mind wander to the previous month.

Things had gone back to normal following her lunch with Castle and Alexis. Or at least that's what she has been trying to convince herself whenever she let her mind wander.

Castle still came to the precinct every day, he still brought her coffee, he still spun his wild CIA and alien abduction theories, he still annoyed the hell out of her, and he still ignored her when she told him to stay in the car, but there was something more.

There was the way his fingers would linger on hers just a little bit longer than usual when he handed her her coffee, the way they would sit just a little bit closer when they were sitting in front of the murder board, the way he would put his hand on the small of her back when she walked through a door or the way he would briefly hold her hand when he knew she was upset because of a case.

Then there was the fact that a couple days after they had lunch, Castle had convinced her to come have dinner with Alexis and him at the loft and it ended up with her and Castle falling asleep on the couch during a movie marathon. At that wasn't the only time as the days passed the invitations came more frequently until it reached the point where they would either catch a bite to eat at Remy's or end up back at his loft to have dinner and watch a movie with or without Alexis, every night.

She couldn't help but smile when she thought of this past weekend.

After a particularly hard case, the captain had given them the weekend off and before she knew it she had found herself on her way to Castle's beach house in the Hamptons with him and Alexis.

It had been one of the most relaxing weekends she has had in a long time. Movie marathons, board games and laser tag and been the highlights of the weekend and Beckett had actually had fun despite her worries when she originally agreed.

Glancing at the paperwork in front of her, she let out a sigh. She knew she wasn't going to get any work done until she talked to someone so she snatched her phone off her desk and headed down to the morgue.

"Hey Lanie." Beckett said as the doors to the morgue swished closed behind her.

Lanie looked up from the paperwork she was going over and then looked at the clock on the wall. "8:30 in the morning? That's got to be a new record. What did Writer Boy do this time?" the ME said.

"Who said he did anything? Maybe I just wanted to come see you." Beckett replied. She knew Lanie wouldn't fall for it, but she liked to pick on Lanie whenever she got the chance.

"Please girl, ever since Castle started following you the only time you come down here is when I have a body or writer boy did something to piss you off."

This was true. She couldn't remember the last time she came down here to do something other than get info on a body or complain about Castle.

"I had lunch with Castle and Alexis." Beckett replied.

Lanie just looked at her, eyebrows raised in an 'I know that's not what's bothering you' look.

Beckett sighed. "Remember when we were in the hospital and Alexis came in and yelled at me about it being my fault for her dad getting shot?" she asked.

"Yes." Lanie replied. She knew this was a sore topic for Beckett and she knows, despite everyone's protests that she still believes it was her fault that Castle got shot.

"Well, apparently Alexis felt bad about it, but was too afraid to come talk to me about it, so Castle being his usual meddlesome self, apparently asked Alexis to come have lunch with him and asked me to have lunch with him without telling either of us that the other was there."

"Damn. That must have been awkward."

"It was at first, but Castle left us alone and we talked it through and everything is great between us now." Beckett replied.

"Okay? I feel like I'm missing the point." Lanie replied with an honestly confused expression on her face.

"After that lunch, everything changed." Beckett said hesitantly. She was already regretting coming down here and she hasn't even gotten to the point yet.

"How so?"

"We… touch more? When he hands me my coffee his hand lingers longer than necessary, he sits closer to me than usual when we are in front of the murder board, he puts his hand on my back like he is guiding me through the door, he will even hold my hand whenever we come back from talking to a family or suspect on a particular hard case."

"I'm still missing the point." Lanie said.

"I spent the weekend with him and Alexis in the Hamptons."

"You did what!? Did you get your freak on? " Lanie yelped.

"Lanie! His daughter was there, it wasn't like that. A couple of days after we had lunch he asked me to come have dinner with him and Alexis at the loft and things kind of just took off from there. We don't go a day without having dinner at Remy's or dinner and a movie marathon at his place and then one thing led to another and he asked me to spend the weekend with him and Alexis in the Hamptons and I said yes."

"And the problem is?" Lanie asked even as a smile crept onto her face.

"I had fun." Beckett said with a sigh.

"I'm still missing the problem, girl."

"I'm not scared."

"Huh?" Lanie asked as her confusion once again became present.

"I keep waiting for the panic to set in. I keep waiting for it to become too much to the point where I have to run and go back to my place and spend time alone, but it never happens. I can't help but wait for the end of the day because I know I am going to be spending time with Castle. When I am with him, I am more relaxed than I have ever been. I'm not thinking about a case or anything else. I'm content. Then when I go home I am expecting to feel relieved that I finally have time to myself, but I'm not. I just miss him more and wish I was with him, not alone at my apartment."

The only thing Lanie did in reply was laugh.

This made Beckett scowl. "This isn't funny Lanie. I have no idea what's going on."

"Don't you see, girl," Lanie said as her laughter subsided, "you're falling for Castle."

Beckett was about to deny it but before she could something stopped her. She thought back to the past month and how happy she had been, how she had felt so content and loved. How close not only her and Castle were, but how close her and Alexis were too. How for the first time in her life when it got to this point, she didn't want to run, and she definitely didn't want to deny it.

"You know Lanie, I think you are right" Beckett replied as a smile broke out on her face.

"Oh my god!" squealed Lanie. "It took you long enough!"

"Lanie!"

"Sorry, sorry. But girl, seriously, I am so happy for you! And I can tell you are happy too. You haven't stopped smiling since you got here."

"Thanks Lanie. I have to get back, but thanks for the talk!" Beckett replied as she walked towards the morgue doors.

The last thing she heard before the doors shut behind her was Lanie yelling "You better talk to writer boy!"

As Beckett stepped up and pressed the button for the homicide department, she couldn't help the grin that broke out over her face. She didn't want to keep this from Castle anymore, she wanted to take the next step with him, because the more she thought about it, she realized it had been awhile since she stopped smiling.

As the doors opened and she stepped out of the elevator she saw Castle sitting at her desk.

"Hey Castle" she said as she approached her desk.

"Hello Detective Beckett." Castle said, handing her a coffee.

Beckett took a long sip and couldn't help the small moan that escaped as the warm liquid made its way down her throat. "Thanks Castle." She said as she gave him a smile.

When he broke out into the smile she loved so much, the one that took over his whole face and made his eyes shine, she decided this was it. She was going to take the leap and ask him out on a date.

She was about to speak, when her cell began to ring. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she picked it up.

"Beckett."

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, my laptop is broken so I have to use the family computer and I can only do that when my mother isn't using it, which is rarely.

Anyway, the next chapter starts it all. The first domino to fall in the road to Caskett:) Hope you like this chapter and reviews are welcome!

On another note, I am planning ahead, and I think it would be fun to bring back some old flames for our lovely duo, so I am going to put it to a vote on who you would like to see come back as part of a funny, jealous scene. We have Gina, Meredith, Natalie Rhodes, Alex Conrad, Will, Tom, or Josh. So let me know and then whoever gets the most votes will make a comeback:)


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

"_Hey Castle" she said as she approached her desk. _

"_Hello Detective Beckett." Castle said, handing her a coffee. _

_Beckett took a long sip and couldn't help the small moan that escaped as the warm liquid made its way down her throat. "Thanks Castle." She said as she gave him a smile. _

_When he broke out into the smile she loved so much, the one that took over his whole face and made his eyes shine, she decided this was it. She was going to take the leap and ask him out on a date. _

_She was about to speak, when her cell began to ring. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she picked it up. _

"_Beckett." _

"What do we got Espo?" Beckett asked as her and Castle approached the crime scene.

"Victim's name is Sarah Vasquez. She's a 28 year old kindergarten teacher. She was leaving her yoga class with Ms. Nunez over there when Sarah suddenly dropped." Esposito said pointing to a young women standing with uniforms.

"Bullet wound straight through the heart?" Beckett said as she scanned the surrounding area for anything that seemed out of the ordinary.

"Yeah." Espo replied.

"Any signs of the shooter?"

"Nope. That's what's weird. No one saw or heard anything." Esposito replied scanning through his notes.

"Alright, Lanie are you able to tell us point of origin?" Beckett asked as she approached the ME who was crouched over the body.

"Not till I get her back to the lab." Lanie said before turning back to finish her assessment.

"Alright, let me know when you have something." she said as she turned back to Esposito and Ryan.

"Espo when you are finished up here, I want you to check into any known enemies and anyone who knew she would be here. See if anything pops. Ryan I want you to run financials and phone records and see if there is anything out of the ordinary and get on tech to get the footage from any security cameras that may have picked something up. Castle and I will go talk to neighbors and check out her apartment, see if we can find anything that will shed some light on why someone would want her dead." Beckett said as Esposito and Ryan nodded their head and went off to do their respective jobs.

An hour later Castle and Beckett returned to the precinct with nothing more than they had when they left the crime scene.

"Yo Espo, Ryan! Got anything for me on the vic?" Beckett asked as she approached the murder board to review what they know so far.

"Negative. Vasquez had no known enemies and everyone who knew she was going to be there alibied out and none of them could give any reason why someone would want her dead. All said the same thing, nice girl, sweet as they come." Esposito said as he joined Castle and Beckett at the murder board.

"Ryan?" Beckett asked.

"Went over financials and phone records, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing unusual popped on her phone records and her financials seem normal. Tech sent over the video surveillance, all it showed was Sarah going down. Everyone's story checked out, couldn't see the shooter and couldn't hear the shot." Ryan replied with a shrug.

Beckett let out a frustrated sigh and ran her hand through her hair as her phone rang.

"Beckett. Okay I'll be right down."

"Lanie's got something for us. I want you guys to bring in Ms. Nunez, see if she knows anything more than what she already told us." Beckett ordered as her and Castle made their way to the elevator to head down to the morgue.

"What do you got for me Lanie?" she asked as her and Castle entered the morgue.

"The bullet that killed Vasquez is a .308 specifically a 168 Grain Sierra Matchking." Lanie said.

"Rifle." Beckett said.

"Based on the site of impact and trajectory, I would say she was shot from a distance, probably 200-300 yards." Lanie said as she jotted something down on the file.

"Sniper." Beckett said with a sigh.

"Afraid so. I have a few more tests to run, I'll let you know if I find anything else." Lanie said.

"Thanks Lanie." Beckett said as she turned to leave.

They were about to enter the elevator when Beckett's phone rang once again.

"Beckett. Alright meet you there." She said hanging up her phone.

"We got another body." She said pressing the button for the lobby as she glanced over towards Castle.

He had been unusually quiet since they got back and he looked a little pale, but before she could ask the doors opened revealing the lobby of the 12th and all thoughts of Castle were put out of her mind and she was back in cop mode as they got into the car and made their way to the crime scene.

"What do we have, Ryan?" Beckett asked as she approached Lanie crouching over a body.

"Henry Watt, 38, attorney." Ryan said glancing at his notes.

"Same shooter?" Beckett asked

"Looks like it. Nobody saw or heard anything." Espo said walking up to them.

"Lanie?" Beckett asked approaching the ME.

"I won't know for sure because the bullet is pretty beat up, but it looks like same caliber, same model. I'll know more once I get back to the lab." Lanie said bagging the bullet in an evidence bag.

"Thanks." She said turning back to Ryan and Esposito. "Same drill. Run enemies, financials, and phone records. Get footage from any security cameras within 5 blocks and see if there is a connection between our two vics." Beckett said.

"Got it boss." Espo and Ryan replied once again turning to do their respective jobs.

Beckett took statements from a couple of witnesses who were closest to the vic before she turned to leave too.

Walking back to the car she was engrossed in her notes, trying to figure out where to go next. The next thing she knows, a car door slams shut and she is on the ground with Castle on top of her.

"What the hell Castle?" she hisses as she gets up brushing off her clothes.

"I – Uh..." Castle stammers.

She looks up at him to see him even paler and he had little beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"Go home Castle. I don't know what's going on with you, but you are getting on my nerves. Come back tomorrow when you get your head on straight." Beckett said as she got into her Crown Vic.

As she pulled away from the crime scene she saw Castle getting into a cab. Making her way back to the precinct she got more and more angry as the pain in her elbow throbbed from when it hit the ground.

By the time she got back to the precinct on stepped out of the elevator, she was back in cop mode. She just wanted to catch whoever did this and go home to soak in a nice, hot bath with a glass of wine and a good book.

Six hours later, they finally managed to catch a break. The shooter attempted to take the life of someone else, but didn't adjust for the fact that he was shooting through glass. After reviewing security footage from the building, they were able to determine that all three victims all frequented the area around a coffee shop. A half hour after that they knew that the reason these victims were chosen was because they all had recent successes and with the help of a sketch from the manager of the coffee shop they were able to determine that their guy was Lee Travis. A veteran who lost his leg in an accident. They were just about to head out to pick him up when Beckett's phone rang.

Without even looking at her caller I.D. she answered. "Beckett."

"Kate?" came the voice of Alexis.

"Alexis? Is everything okay?" she asked starting to get a little worried. Alexis never called her.

"I don't think so. I came home and noticed that my dad's keys were on the table so I figured he must have come home to write, so I went to his office to let him know I was home, but the door was locked and he isn't answering me. When I call him, I can hear his phone ringing through the door, but he isn't answering. I'm really worried. It's not like him and I don't know what to do." Alexis said through sobs.

"Okay, it's okay Alexis. Take a deep breath. Do you have a key to his office?" Beckett asked as she threw on her coat.

"Yeah, there is one somewhere around here." Alexis said.

"Okay, I am on my way. I want you to find the key, but I don't want you to go into his office wait until I get there." Beckett said.

"Okay thank you Kate." Alexis said before she heard a click on her phone letting her know that Alexis hung up.

"Hey guys, Alexis needs me, Castle is pouting in his office and isn't answering Alexis so I am going to head over to check it out, can you guys handle this?" she asked pulling out her keys.

"Yeah, we got it. Good luck." Espo replied.

Twenty minutes later, Beckett was standing outside of Castle's door when it swung open to reveal a very panicked looking Alexis, eyes red rimmed and swollen, obviously from crying.

She barely stepped into the loft before she was enveloped in a tight hug from the red headed teenager.

"I'm sorry for calling you. I didn't know what else to do. I tried calling Grams, but she wasn't answering and you were the only other one I could think to call. He never locks his office door and he never doesn't answer his phone when I call." Alexis said as she let Beckett go.

"Okay, I need you to do something for me? Do you think you can do that?" Beckett asked as she stroked Alexis's hair.

Alexis only nodded.

"Do you have someone's house you could go to for a little bit? A friend or something?" she asked.

"Yes, but-" Alexis began.

"No but's. I am sure that your dad is just fine, but if there is something wrong I think it is going to be a lot easier to get him to come out if he knows you won't see him like this. I promise the second I figure out what is going on I will let you know." Beckett asked trying to put some authority in her voice.

"Okay." Alexis replied hesitantly. "But promise me you will tell me what's going on the moment you know?"

"I promise." Beckett replied leading Alexis to the door.

"Thanks Kate." Alexis said taking a deep breath and giving her a hug before she turned around and left.

After the door shut, Beckett turned around and took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. When she first got the call, she thought Castle was just sulking because she sent him home, but judging by Alexi's reaction, something wasn't right. This wasn't normal.

Finally she got her nerves under control as she approached his office, convincing herself that he probably just fell asleep. Or so she thought.

"Kate! No!" came Castle's voice followed by a crash and the sound of shattering glass.

* * *

**A/N:** So, what do you think? I don't know if I did this justice. I know I used the plot line from "Kill Shot" and I skipped a lot of it, but this story is really case oriented and I just needed to put enough of the actual case in it in order to get the reaction from Castle that I wanted.

Also, right now, Will and Natalie Rhodes are tied for who you would like to see come back so keep the voting going. For those of you who missed the note, I am thinking of bringing back someone from Beckett or Castle's past who got in the way of them originally as sort of a fun jealousy type thing later on in the story. You can chose between Will, Demming, Josh, Natalie Rhodes, Gina, or Meredith. So let me know!

Enjoy!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

_After the door shut, Beckett turned around and took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. When she first got the call, she thought Castle was just sulking because she sent him home, but judging by Alexi's reaction, something wasn't right. This wasn't normal. _

_Finally she got her nerves under control as she approached his office, convincing herself that he probably just fell asleep. Or so she thought. _

"_Kate! No!" came Castle's voice followed by a crash and the sound of shattering glass. _

"Castle!" Beckett yelled, pounding on his office door.

"Kate! No! Kate!" came Castle's screams.

"Castle! Either open this door right now or I am going to kick it down!" she screamed, pounding on the door more frantically.

When she was met with silence, she took a couple steps backwards, ready to kick in the door. That's when she noticed a set of keys sitting on the bookshelf that made up one of the walls to Castle's office.

Grabbing them she frantically shoved them into the lock and turned, a brief sense of relief washing over her when she heard the distinct click letting her know that she had unlocked the door.

Dropping the keys back into their spot on the bookshelf, Beckett removed her gun from her holster, turning off the safety and getting into the ready position.

Slowly she turned the handle on the door and pushed it open scanning the area in front of her before turning her attention to the rest of the office.

Pushing the door open, the first thing she noticed was the half empty bottle of whiskey on Castle's desk and the broken glass on the ground. Then she turned her attention over to Castle, who was slumped over in his chair, asleep, his head frantically moving side to side, as he muttered a constant string of 'No's"

Beckett's heart dropped as she realized he was having a nightmare.

Re-holstering her gun, she quickly crossed the room.

"Castle… Castle wake up! C'mon wake up!" Beckett said louder and louder, shaking his shoulders.

Castle's eyes flew open as he jerked out of Beckett's grasp, jumping up from his chair, disoriented. It was a few moments before Castle figured out where he was and a few more moments before he realized he wasn't alone.

Castle's eyes locked with hers and the next thing she knew, Castle was across the room, engulfing her in a bone crushing hug.

Beckett stood their frozen when she felt Castle's arms wrap around her, but then she relaxed into his chest as she snaked her arms around his waist.

They stood there for a good five minutes, Beckett running small circles on Castle's back as she felt the wetness of Castle's tears on her cheek. Slowly his breaths evened out and with one last shaky breath, Castle pulled away, quickly swiping at a few tears that were still making their way down his cheeks.

After a few more shaky breaths, before he suddenly registered what was going on and who was in front of him.

"Wait… why are you here? Not that I'm complaining… but shouldn't you be at the precinct working on the case? How did you… who let you in?" Castle asked.

"Alexis called me. She was really worried about you. She said she came home and went to call you. She heard your phone ringing in the office and went to come find you, but found your door locked. You weren't answering her or your phone and she started to get worried. She tried to call Martha, but she didn't answer so she called me. I sent her to one of her friend's house. Speaking of which, I need to go call her and let her know you are okay. Why don't you clean this up, I'll be right back." Beckett said motioning to the broken glass on the floor.

Castle took a deep breath and nodded, a look of gratitude on his face that he didn't have to talk to his daughter quite yet.

Leaving Castle in his office, Beckett made her way into the kitchen, pulling out her phone to call Alexis. After making sure that her dad was really okay after Beckett explained that he had just fallen asleep and couldn't hear his phone and didn't realize that the door was locked, Alexis gave Beckett her thanks and asked her to let her dad know that she was going to be staying over at Paige's for the night and would be home tomorrow afternoon.

After hanging up with Alexis, Beckett grabbed a glass of cold water for Castle and made her way back into the office.

Castle was just finishing cleaning up the broken glass and was sinking back into his desk chair when Beckett came back into the room.

"Hey." Beckett said, setting the glass of water down on his desk.

"Hey." He replied.

"How you doing?" she asked searching his eyes for a hint of how he was doing.

"I've been better. Thanks for talking to Alexis for me, by the way."

She just nodded as a comfortable silence surrounded them. When five minutes passed, she finally took a deep breath.

"So… you wanna tell me what happened?" she asked.

When he didn't answer she immediately started to worry that she said the wrong thing. "I mean you don't have to if you don't want to…"she trailed off as Castle nodded his head.

Taking a deep breath, Castle began.

"When we were at Montgomery's funeral, right before… it happened… I saw a glint from the sun reflecting off of something in the distance behind one of the headstones. It took me a second to realize what it was and when I did is when I… reacted. Well, when we were walking back to your car earlier, everywhere I looked, the sun was reflecting off of everything and then the next thing I know I'm tackling you to the ground, thinking I hear a gunshot. After I realized what was happening, I realized it was just a car door. Even though I knew you were okay, all the way home I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, that something had happened to you. When I got home I felt… exposed so I locked myself in here. I tried to call you, just to hear your voice, assure myself that you were okay, but you didn't answer. I thought maybe a drink would help, take the edge off, but it didn't. I guess I fell asleep…" Castle said taking a deep breath in. He fell silent, but Beckett didn't say anything knowing that he had more to say.

With a deep breath, Castle continued.

"It was worse when I fell asleep. I was back in the cemetery. God Kate! I tried to get there in time, but I was too late. I couldn't get to you in time and then there was so much blood. I tried to stop it but there was so much and it just wouldn't stop. You just kept bleeding. Then we were back in the cemetery, but this time it was you in the casket and everyone just kept walking up to me saying it was my fault, that I could have saved you if I just got there a second sooner, that it was my fault you died." Castle said burying his face in his hands as his body was racked with sobs.

Beckett stood their frozen for a moment, watching the shell of a man before her break. Without really registering what she was doing, she was pulling Castle up out of his chair and pulling him back into a hug.

"Shhhh, it's okay Castle. It was just a dream. I'm still here. You saved me, I'm still alive." She said taking his hand and placing it over her heart, letting him feel the proof that she was still here and very much alive thanks to him.

At the feel of her heart beating between his hand, a fresh wave of tears streamed down his face as he pulled her back into a hug.

They just stood their, Beckett buried in his chest, arms wrapped around his waist, Castle's nose buried in her hair, holding her tight against him, neither of them ready to lose the contact.

Leaning back without breaking contact, Beckett took her thumb and wiped the remnants of the tears off of Castle's face.

With a shaky sigh, Castle took a step back, immediately slumping against his desk, forgetting about the class of water sitting on his desk.

The weight of his body caused the desk to jerk back a little bit and the glass of water tipped over spilling all over his desk.

"Shit!" Castle spat, jumping off as the water started to seep through his jeans.

Beckett immediately jumped into action grabbing his phone and laptop. "Go get some paper towels Castle." She said.

Castle retreated, heading towards the kitchen to get something to clean up while Beckett tried to remove anything that wasn't already ruined from the path of water.

When Beckett went to move a stack of books out of the path of the water, a remote that was resting on the edge of the desk fell to the ground.

Beckett wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for Castle's smartboard roaring to life behind her. She glanced at the screen expecting to see the story line for Castle's next book.

When Castle came back into the room with an armful of towels, the first thing he noticed was Beckett standing there in the middle of the room, staring at something.

The second thing he noticed was the soft glow of light coming from the corner of the room.

When he glanced past her shoulder to see what she was staring at, his heart dropped.

The smartboard he used to plan plot lines in his novel was turned on, but what was on it was so much worse than the plot line for his next novel.

Instead, there was his version of a murder board. The same murder board Beckett had hanging up behind the shutters in her apartment.

Illuminated on the screen was the murder board for Johanna Beckett.

Taking a deep breath, Castle took a small step forward.

"Kate… I can explain." Castle began hesitantly.

When Beckett turned around to face him, his heart broke as he saw confusion, sadness, disappointment, and hurt flash across her face before finally settling on anger.

Without saying a word, Beckett shook her head and brushed past him.

Castle stood their watching as she disappeared through the door to his office.

She was gone.

* * *

**A/N: **Well here is the big chapter! I worked on it for 4 hours and I really just hope I did it justice!

The next few chapters are going to be a bit angsty, but I promise you won't be disappointed and I promise the wait will be worth it.

So let me know what you think!

P.S. So far I have gotten an equal amount of requests for Natalie Rhodes, Will, and Demming. So I have come to the ultimate decision that I will probably just bring them all into the story at one point or another since I plan on caring this story on for quite some time into the future of Caskett:)


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:

_Illuminated on the screen was the murder board for Johanna Beckett. _

_Taking a deep breath, Castle took a small step forward. _

"_Kate… I can explain." Castle began hesitantly. _

_When Beckett turned around to face him, his heart broke as he saw confusion, sadness, disappointment, and hurt flash across her face before finally settling on anger. _

_Without saying a word, Beckett shook her head and brushed past him. _

_Castle stood their watching as she disappeared through the door to his office. _

_She was gone. _

As soon as he heard the door to his loft slam shut, Castle sank to the floor.

He never meant for it to happen like this. He knew she would probably be mad, but he always thought he would get the chance to explain. He thought he would get the chance to explain that he wasn't doing this for himself, but for her, but she was already gone.

No.

She doesn't get to run away, not until she gives him the chance to explain. He promised her always and he is going to do everything he can to make sure he keeps that promise.

He quickly made his way to the door, grabbing his phone and keys and slipping on some shoes and a jacket.

When he stepped into the hallway and turned to head to the elevator his heart broke all over again.

Sitting at the end of the hall, back against the wall, knees pulled into her chest was Kate. To make matters worse, she was crying.

Kate Beckett never cried.

He did this to her.

He cautiously made his way towards her and sank to the floor across from her.

"Kate…" he began.

"Go away Castle."

She sounded so defeated. Instead of her usual authoritative tone, it was more of a plea.

He really hated himself right now.

"Kate… just come back to loft and let me explain. Just let me explain and then if you still want to leave, I'll let you." Castle pleaded, his heart and voice breaking at the thought of having to let her go.

Kate just sat there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths, trying to get her breathing under control. She didn't want to go back into his loft. She didn't want to here why he betrayed her, how he thought this was okay, because it wasn't. But something in his voice, the way he pleaded with her to let him explain had her getting to her feet and walking back towards his door as she wiped the tears off her face.

She walked into the loft and into the middle of the living room, but she didn't sit.

She stood there arms crossed, lips pulled into a thin line as Castle shrugged out of his coat and shoes and joined her in the living room.

"Explain." Was all she said, all she could manage to say.

"When I got out of the hospital, I received a phone call from a man. I don't know who it was, but he said he was a friend of Montgomery's. He said before Montgomery died, he sent him a package. The package contained information very damaging to whoever is behind your mother's murder. This information was used to keep his family safe and to keep you safe on one condition. You had to stop investigating. You had to step away from your mother's case." Castle explained.

That's why you came to me with that whole speech about stepping away for now." Beckett said. It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"This isn't your case Castle. Its **MY** mother. You should have told me!" Beckett screamed.

"Beckett you and I both know that if I would have told you the first thing you would have done was go right back down the rabbit hole." Castle hissed.

"Its **MY** life Castle, not yours." Beckett snapped.

"What was I supposed to do? Everyone was counting on me. I don't know why, but they were. Both your dad and Montgomery came to me, telling me as far as they saw it, I was the only who could convince you to step away, that I was the only one who could convince you that your life is worth more than finding your mother's killer. But I knew you wouldn't just step away, maybe you would for a little bit, but not forever. So I thought that maybe if I kept investigating, kept digging for leads, I would have enough to end this once and for all the next time it came up, because I knew one way or another, it would eventually resurface."

"What about Alexis, Castle? What about your mother? You could die. If they found out you were digging into this, they will kill you!" Beckett screamed as a fresh wave of tears streamed down her face.

"Better me than you." Castle replied with a shrug.

"No." Beckett said shaking her head. "You have no idea what that would do to me. Losing you… it would destroy me. Alexis and Martha can't lose you. I can't lose you."

"You don't get it Kate. If you were to die, they would lose me anyway. Sure, I would still be here, but I would be just as good as dead. _I _can't lose _you_." Castle said trying to fight back tears.

"You would get over it eventually. You would move on eventually, I'm no one special." Beckett said with a shrug. She wasn't.

"Don't. Why do you sell yourself short?" Castle asked.

"I'm not selling myself short. It's the truth." Beckett replied honestly.

"No. Its anything but the truth. You are extraordinary. You are one of the few cops I have ever met who actually care about the victims, not just the numbers. You took something horrible that happened to you, and used it to make a difference. You are remarkable. You have made a difference in so many people's lives, including mine. You're right when you said you aren't special because you are so much more. Special doesn't even begin to describe it." Castle said.

Beckett couldn't help the blush the crept onto her face. If it were anyone else, she wouldn't have believed it, but when she looked up and her eyes locked with his, she only saw the sincerity. He wasn't just saying it, he honestly believed it and she had no idea how he could think of her like that.

"You need to stop. There are going to come after you, you've already gotten shot once because of me, I can't handle that again." Beckett said looking away from his intense gaze.

Castle didn't say anything at first, instead he took a few steps forward, closing the distance between them.

"Kate, look at me." Castle said.

She glanced briefly at him before averting her gaze, but when he still didn't say anything else, she had no choice but to look at him.

When her eyes locked with his, he continued.

"I couldn't survive living in a world without you. I couldn't. Yes, I got shot, and as painful as that was, I would do it again in an instant if it meant you were still living."

"Why? Why me?" she asked.

Castle took a deep breath. He didn't want to tell her like this, he didn't want it to be because they were fighting, but he had to make her see, he needed her to understand.

"Because I love you."

* * *

**A/N:** There we go! Cats out of the bag now.

Please review!


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

"_I couldn't survive living in a world without you. I couldn't. Yes, I got shot, and as painful as that was, I would do it again in an instant if it meant you were still living." _

"_Why? Why me?" she asked. _

_Castle took a deep breath. He didn't want to tell her like this, he didn't want it to be because they were fighting, but he had to make her see, he needed her to understand. _

"_Because I love you." _

Beckett froze.

He loved her? She knew he liked her and was attracted to her, he always made that much clear, but he loved her?

She stood there, trying to form a sentence, but nothing came out as she opened and closed her mouth like a fish.

Castle knew this was big. He knew at any moment his revelation could send her running in the other direction and he knew at any moment his entire world could come crashing down around him if she rejected him. He wanted to say more, he wanted to rewind and take it back because she was just standing there, she wasn't saying anything, and the longer the silence went on, the more his heart broke.

Beckett was frozen in place. When Castle took a step back, her head snapped up to see a look of hurt and disappointment on his face. Why was he disappointed?

Oh.

She hadn't said anything yet and he took her silence to mean rejection. She needed to say something.

"You… you love me?" she asked, her voice shaky.

At the sound of her voice, Castle's head snapped up and he met her eyes once again with a glimmer of hope.

"So much Kate. So much." He replied. He knew he probably wasn't calming her nerves, but now that it was out and it was clear that she wasn't running in the other direction, it was like a dam had been broken.

He loved her. She stood there waiting for the panic, waiting for her mind to catch up with what she just heard and tell her to run in the other direction. But it never came. Instead a feeling of contentment washed over her and she had the feeling that even if she wanted to run, she couldn't because as much as she hated him for what he did, she loved him. She couldn't live without him.

She needed him.

"How long?" she asked.

Castle took a deep breath. He could do this. He could talk about how long he loved her and how much he loved her.

"I don't know for sure how long, there were feelings there for a long time, but I knew, without a doubt, that I was in love with you when I was standing outside your apartment and it blew up. When I saw the explosion, it felt like my entire world was crashing down around me. I knew in that moment that I was in love with you and there was no turning back." He said.

If his first confession that he was in love with her was surprising, she didn't have the words to describe this one. He had been in love with her… for almost two years. But that would mean…

"But you left. That summer, when you invited me to the Hamptons… you left with Gina." She said.

"I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't stick around and watch you fall in love with Demming. Gina was more of a distraction. I thought if I had company, it would be easier, but it wasn't. I pretended like everything was going fine, but it wasn't. There was never that spark, the magic that I had with you." Castle said.

"When you came back I was so mad at you for leaving. I broke up with Demming before you left, when I asked to talk to you after your party I was going to tell you that I wanted to come with you… but before I could say anything, Gina showed up and you were walking away telling me you would be back in the fall." Beckett admitted.

"I'm such an idiot." Castle said.

"Don't beat yourself up Castle, we were different then, I don't think we would have made it if we got together then." It was true. She was still guarded, and while she was ready to jump in with him then, she knew she wouldn't have been able to open up to him like she could now.

Castle just nodded as he ran his hand over his face.

Beckett stood there still reeling. He had been in love with her for two years. And he stuck around through Demming. And Josh.

It all made sense now.

"It makes sense." She said quietly.

"What?" Castle asked.

"Why you kicked me out when you thought I was engaged to Josh." She said trying to convey a look o sympathy.

"Ah. Yeah. Josh was hard. I just wanted you to be happy, so if he was what made you happy I was going to stay out of the way, but it was hard, because even though you pretended everything was fine, I could see it in your eyes that you weren't happy. The dirty bomb case was the worst. It was so hard to watch you go home with him when I knew I could and would treat you so much better, but I was willing to wait for you to realize it on your own. I thought you were starting to, especially with what you told me that day in the hazmat tent, but when I woke up to see him holding the ring and putting it on your finger, I couldn't handle that. I couldn't handle knowing that there wasn't a chance anymore. I couldn't be around you then knowing that I would never get the chance I was hoping for." Castle said letting out a sigh afterwards.

"But you came back? You came back after that summer when you thought I was still with Demming. You kept coming back even though I was with Josh. You thought I was engaged, but you still came back? You always came back? How could you handle that?" she asked, disbelief on her face.

"Believe me, it wasn't easy. After that first summer, I thought I could get over you, I thought I could move on and we could just be friends, but I was so miserable. Everything I did reminded me of you. Every time I got a cup of coffee, I thought of you, every time I sat down to read or write, I thought of you, whenever I talked to Alexis, I thought of you, I couldn't even sleep without you invading my dreams. That's when I decided it was better being in your life just as your friend, even if it meant watching you be with someone else. This summer, I was so hurt, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even write. It was so much worse than the summer before, and I seriously considered never coming back." He said.

"What changed your mind?" Beckett asked.

"I promised you always. I told you I would always be there, and I would always have your back and I knew if I walked away, if I left, there would be no one there to hold you up when you fell, there would be no one there to keep you from going down the rabbit hole, and as much as I knew it was going to hurt, as much as it hurt knowing I would have to walk into that precinct knowing I would never have you, I couldn't walk away and leave you alone when I promised you I would always be there. Because I meant it when I said always."

By now, there were tears rolling down Beckett's cheeks. She tried to stop them, but she couldn't. She had put him through hell. He had been in love with her this whole time and while she sat there and denied the feelings she knew she had for him, he kept coming back for her, not for himself. He purposefully put himself in pain for her. Because he loved her.

Castle stood their watching as what he said hit home. One moment Beckett stood there, lips pulled tight in a thin line as she tried to hold back her emotions and the next there were tears streaming down her face.

With two big steps he was in front of her, pulling her into his arms as he stroked her hair whispering anything he could think of into her hair to comfort her.

When Castle pulled her into her arms, she didn't even hesitate to wrap her arms around his waist and bury her head into his chest. A lot has happened that day. And she knew she would need to process it later, but right now standing there, wrapped in Castle's arms, she knew there was no where else she wanted to be.

As her breathing slowed down and evened out, Castle pulled back. Beckett, not wanting to lose the contact tightened her hold on his waste, thinking he was pulling away.

But he wasn't.

Instead he too his thumb and gently wiped away the remnants of her tears before pulling back to look into her eyes.

They didn't have to say any thing, they were always able to tell what the other was thinking through their eyes.

Standing there, green locked with blue, it felt like the world around them dissolved and it was just them.

There was an electricity running through the room the increased with each passing moment.

Slowly Castle leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, then a gentle kiss on each of her eyelids and the tip of her nose before settling his forehead on hers.

It took every ounce of control she had not to lean forward the last couple of inches and close the distance between their lips, but she didn't. She waited as their breaths mixed together, slow, shallow breaths.

They stood there for what felt like hours, before she felt his lips softly brush against hers. The moment she felt his lips on hers, there was only one thought that came to her mind.

Fireworks.

* * *

**A/N:** Don't get me wrong, I loved the scene in 'always' but I always had a soft spot for something like this, soft, slow and gentle. Castle being hesitant, not knowing exactly if he should be doing this or not, so I decided to write it like that. Let me know what you think!

Enjoy!


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

_They didn't have to say any thing, they were always able to tell what the other was thinking through their eyes. _

_Standing there, green locked with blue, it felt like the world around them dissolved and it was just them. _

_There was an electricity running through the room the increased with each passing moment. _

_Slowly Castle leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead, then a gentle kiss on each of her eyelids and the tip of her nose before settling his forehead on hers._

_It took every ounce of control she had not to lean forward the last couple of inches and close the distance between their lips, but she didn't. She waited as their breaths mixed together, slow, shallow breaths. _

_They stood there for what felt like hours, before she felt his lips softly brush against hers. The moment she felt his lips on hers, there was only one thought that came to her mind. _

_Fireworks. _

She stood there with her eyes closed for what felt like an eternity before she felt her lips on hers again, but this time he didn't pull back.

His lips moved over hers, urgent, but gentle.

She knew there was still things she needed to say, things that they needed to clear up, but when his lips touched hers, all of those thoughts were pushed out of her mind and the only thing she could think about was finally being able to feel his lips against hers just because they wanted to. It wasn't a distraction, they weren't trying to rescue anyone, it was just them, Castle and Beckett, Kate and Rick.

After a few minutes, Castle started to slow down before pulling away.

Eyes still closed, she let out an involuntary groan, missing the feeling of his lips on hers instantly.

Castle placed a gentle kiss on her forehead once again before trailing his hands down her arms and taking her arms, placing his forehead on hers.

"Wow." Was all he said, as they both stood there catching their breaths.

Beckett just hummed in response, unable to form a sentence.

"Why Detective, have I rendered you speechless?" Castle asked with a chuckle as he pulled back to take in the expression on her face.

Opening her eyes, she tried her best to shoot him a glare, but she had a feeling it wasn't as menacing as she intended.

Castle just chuckled.

After a few more moments of silence, Beckett let out a sigh.

"I should really be heading home. It's been a long day and I'm sure you want to get some sleep." Beckett said.

"Stay." Castle said. It wasn't a question.

"Castle…" Beckett said.

"Please. I know a lot has happened and its been a rough day for both of us… I just don't want to be alone tonight." Castle mumbled.

Beckett's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, before it clicked. The nightmares.

"You have nightmares." Again it wasn't a question. "How often?" she asked.

"More frequently now than before." Castle replied. She knew he was talking about the shooting.

"I'm going to need to borrow some clothes." Beckett said after a few moments. "And a shower."

Castle's head shot up. "Really? You'll stay?" he asked in disbelief.

"Of course." She said.

"Thank you." he said giving her a kiss. She couldn't help but smile when she felt his smile against her lips.

"I'm never going to get used to this." He said.

"Get used to what?" she asked, not following his train of thought.

"Kissing you." He replied as his face broke out into his goofy smile.

She laughed. She wasn't going to get used to it either and frankly she didn't want to.

She leaned in once more and pressed her lips to his briefly before pulling back and running her hand down his cheek.

"Do you have work tomorrow?" Castle asked. He knew it was a weekend, but he didn't know her schedule because he usually spent the weekend catching up on writing or spending it with Alexis.

"Nope. I've got the weekend off. Why?" she asked.

"I just assumed there was more you wanted to talk about and seeing as how you don't have work, we don't have to worry about getting to sleep anytime soon. Why don't you go take a shower? I haven't eaten anything since this morning, which means I know you haven't eaten anything, so I'll order us some Chinese and then we can relax and finish talking about anything we need to talk about?" he asked.

"Sounds good to me." She said with a small smile.

"Good. Shower is through the office and through my bedroom. Would you prefer sweat pants or boxers?" he asked.

"Umm, I'll go with boxers, thanks." She replied.

"Coming right up m'lady" Castle replied with a cheeky grin.

Beckett followed Castle into his bedroom and looked around his room while he pulled out some clothes for her.

When she got to the bedside table and noticed the pictures, she couldn't help but let out a little chuckle when she saw a picture of her standing among the pictures of Alexis and Martha. If it were anyone else, she would probably find it somewhat creepy, but with Castle it was just sweet and she couldn't help but feel the little flutter of butterflies in her stomach.

"Ryan took it when we were all at the Old Haunt one night." Castle explained coming up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. "When I saw it, I asked for a copy. If I couldn't wake up to the real thing every morning, a picture was the next best thing. I didn't realize how creepy it was until I saw you staring at it." Castle said with a hesitant chuckle.

Smiling, she turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her lips to his. Just like earlier, it seemed like everything around them dissolved. They only broke apart when oxygen became a necessity.

"I think its sweet." She said breathlessly as she untangled herself from his arms, grabbing the clothes he placed on the end of the bed, and made her way into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Castle just stood there, a smile on his face until he heard the water turn on and decided he better go order dinner before she got out of the shower.

As he made his way to the kitchen and placed the order, he couldn't help the smile that was permanently etched on his face.

Everything was finally falling into place.

* * *

**A/N: **I thought this was a nice, light chapter to lighten the load. We will get back into some angstyness as they discuss some things and where they want to go from here, but don't worry after that its going to get fun and light again and we will get back into the light, fun Caskett we all know and love.

As far as the cases go, I want to put some in here, but I absolutely suck at thinking up ideas. I can easily add details, but I must enlist the help of my fans to give me ideas. Simple A killed B because of C would be great if you don't mind!

Also, I have some people questioning me on the rating again. Yes, I know so far there is nothing worth the M rating, but I am getting their soon and I frankly don't feel like changing the rating only to have to change it back again. So yes, I know you are all waiting for the M rated content and I promise its coming. We just need to clear some things up and take care of a few more things before we get there.

Please Review!


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27:

Thirty minutes later when Beckett emerged from the bathroom, Castle was just finishing pouring two glasses of wine.

When he saw her, his breath caught in her throat.

"Wow." He mumbled taking in the sight before him.

"What? What's wrong?" she asked as she looked down at herself trying to figure out why he was staring at her.

"Nothing, nothing is wrong at all. You, detective, are breathtaking." He said as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her lips. "Absolutely breathtaking." He said.

When she felt the heat rush to her cheeks, she ducked her head down, embarrassed.

"Don't do that." He said as he placed his hand under her chin and gently lifted her head until their eyes locked.

"Don't do what?" she asked wrapping her hands around his waist, burying her head into his chest. This was her favorite place to be, wrapped up in his arms, surrounded by his warmth. She felt safe and content.

"Whenever someone compliments you and you don't feel like you deserve it, you blush and then duck your head because you are embarrassed. You shouldn't hide, its adorable and you shouldn't hide, especially here with me. You don't have to hide with me, I'm not going anywhere." He said placing a kiss on her head tightening his arms around her like he was trying to drive home his point.

"C'mon writer boy, let's eat. I'm hungry." She said grabbing his hand, pulling him towards the coffee table, sinking down in front of the couch.

He was sure he was smiling like an idiot as he felt her scoot closer to him so that her knee was pressed against his, but he wasn't going to say anything and scare her away. So instead he busied himself with opening the cartons of Chinese in front of him, looking for her order.

When he handed it to her, she looked at it and he noticed the way her whole face softened as a small smile crept onto her face.

"What?" he asked as he dug into his own container of Chinese.

"How do you do it?" she asked, glancing between her food and him.

"Do what?" he asked.

When she didn't answer right away, he thought she wasn't going to answer. But when he glanced in her direction, he saw that her eyebrows were furrowed together. It was the look she got when she was trying to put the pieces together, when she was trying to figure out how to put her thoughts into words. He also knew that when she was like this, it was best not to push her. He had to let her work through it on her own. So he busied himself with his dinner until she spoke.

"I don't exactly know how to explain it. But you know so much about me, like I am almost one hundred percent sure that I never told you what kind of Chinese I like and for that matter what kind of coffee I like but you know. Then sometimes I feel like you can read my mind, like you know what I am thinking or you know what I need before I even know that I need it. I just don't get how you do it." She said with a shrug.

"Well Detective, I have been watching you for three years." Castle replied with a shrug.

Beckett didn't say anything, she just gave him that Don't-give-me-that-bullshit look.

"You really want to know? Sure you want to ruin the magic?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"I don't believe in magic." She replied simply.

"Well as far as the things like what kind of coffee you like or what kind of food you like, that really was just simply observation. But the other stuff, well, you have tells… or quirks… I don't really know what word to use, but you do things, small things that say what you won't actually say." Castle said.

"What kind of things do I do?" Beckett asked taking another mouthful of food.

"Well when you are frustrated because something isn't making sense or you aren't quite sure how to say what you want, your eyebrows furrow in the middle. You did that earlier by the way when you were trying to figure out how to best ask what you wanted to ask. I also know that when you do that, I just have to let you be and figure it out by yourself without pushing. When we have a case that we are stuck on, I know that it's time for you to go home when you just stare at the murder board when it's obvious that nothing has changed. There's the fact that I know you like my theories because your mouth automatically becomes a thin line because you are trying to hide your smile. Don't even try to deny it, I know the truth," Castle said when Beckett opened her mouth to protest.

Beckett just shook her head and smiled as she went back to her food. When Castle didn't continue, she glanced up to see Castle's face took on a serious tone as he continued.

"Then there is when we have a case and it reminds you of your mom. I know that it is bothering you because you automatically reach for her ring, even when I know you aren't wearing it. I also know that's when you need me the most even though that's when you push me away the most. Those are the main ones, but there are more that just let me know things like leave me alone or don't go or comfort me or just drop it." Castle finished.

Beckett just nodded.

"You're good at it." Beckett replied as she took his hand in hers. "Like I said before, it feels like you can read my mind. I still don't fully understand how you do it, but when I need you, you're there, when I need space, you're there. You just know. So thanks."

"Always, Kate. Always." Castle replied, placing a kiss to the palm of her hand.

After that they fell into a comfortable silence as they finished their dinner. Castle could tell that there was more she wanted to say, but he was going to let her do it on her own terms, so he just sat there enjoying her company.

"You have to stop." She finally said.

"Stop what?" he asked, even though he was pretty sure he knew.

"You need to stop investigating. I can't lose you, its taken me to long to realize that I need you in my life and I can't go back. If they find out that you are digging into it they are going to come after you." Beckett replied.

He knew they would eventually get back to this, but he wasn't going to budge. He knew the risks when he first made the choice to continue the investigation, but if there was things he knew it was that he couldn't lose her, not to this.

"I can't lose you either Kate." Castle said.

"It's my job Castle, it's my mom." Beckett said.

"Your mom will still be dead." Castle finally said.

"What?" she asked.

"I know what this means to you, but it isn't worth your life Kate. It's not just you anymore. You are surrounded by people who love you and care about you. It isn't worth giving up your life. I promised you that we will get justice, and we will, but let's do it the right way, let's use the proper channels. You aren't alone, Kate. You are surrounded by people who love you. You have more than just your dad in your family. You've got Lanie and the boys, you've got me. I'm pretty sure my mother likes you more than me, and I know for a fact she already sees you as her daughter. I also know for a fact that Alexis would be devastated. You are more of a mother figure than she has ever had and I know that's part of the reason she was so angry. Not just because she almost lost me, but because she almost lost you too. I don't blame you for wanting justice, but you've let it consume your life for such a long time, and I know I am not the only one who thinks its time to let go. That doesn't mean you can't want justice, but maybe it's time we take the information we know and hand it off. I have connections and I can make sure the information gets into the right hands and taken care of discreetly, but I can't lose you and you can't lose me and the common denominator is your mom's case. If you keep going, I'm going to keep going. If you want me to stop, then you need to stop too because I am never going to leave you alone, I am always going to have your back no matter where you go." Castle said.

Her mother was dead. She wasn't going to come back. Finding her killer, finding out who was behind this entire thing wasn't going to bring her back, but if she continued she could lose Castle who was right there in front of her. She couldn't bring her mom back, but she could be happy. She had proof of that, she had Castle and he was right, she was surrounded by people who were there for her and cared for her, who wouldn't let her be alone in this.

"Okay." She finally said.

"Okay?" Castle asked.

"Yes. I'm choosing you Castle. I think I knew it all along, but you're right. My mom is gone and there is nothing I can do, not even get justice, that will bring her back, but I have you and I'm not willing to do anything to jeopardize that. So I am choosing you. I am choosing to walk away and live my life. I know that is what my mom would want. So we are going to get together everything we know and we are going to pass it off. I don't necessarily like the idea of dragging Montgomery's name through the mud, but this has gone on long enough, and it needs to be stopped. So we are going to drop it and then when we think it is the right time, we will decide together to put an end to it once and for all." She said surprising herself that her voice didn't waver at all and she didn't second guess herself at all. This is what she wanted. She wanted Castle, she wanted a family, she wanted to live her life.

"You chose me?" Castle said as a huge smile broke out across his face.

"I chose you." Beckett said.

With those three words, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders.

She was free.

* * *

**A/N: **I hope I did this justice. It took me five hours before I got it how I wanted so I hope I got across what I wanted to.

I decided to change the rating to T for now. We will get mature content eventually, but I am not entirely sure anymore when that will be. I was going to originally go there after they talked, but now I am not sure, so until we get there this will now be rated T. Enjoy!


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

"_Yes. I'm choosing you Castle. I think I knew it all along, but you're right. My mom is gone and there is nothing I can do, not even get justice, that will bring her back, but I have you and I'm not willing to do anything to jeopardize that. So I am choosing you. I am choosing to walk away and live my life. I know that is what my mom would want. So we are going to get together everything we know and we are going to pass it off. I don't necessarily like the idea of dragging Montgomery's name through the mud, but this has gone on long enough, and it needs to be stopped. So we are going to drop it and then when we think it is the right time, we will decide together to put an end to it once and for all." She said surprising herself that her voice didn't waver at all and she didn't second guess herself at all. This is what she wanted. She wanted Castle, she wanted a family, she wanted to live her life. _

"_You chose me?" Castle said as a huge smile broke out across his face. _

"_I chose you." Beckett said. _

_With those three words, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders. _

_She was free. _

Castle just sat there grinning like an idiot.

He was pretty sure this was all a dream.

He was a pretty optimistic person, but not once did he ever believe Detective Kate Beckett would walk away from her mother's case, especially for him.

Sure he gave her the speech about walking away, and about her life being worth more than finding her mother's killer, but he honestly thought he was going to have to give her that speech for the rest of their lives. When he convinced her to let it go for now when they first came back, he was convinced that was all he was going to get and that is why he started investigating on his own, so that when the case came up again, which it always did, he would be able to swoop in, give them the information they needed, and then it would all be put to an end and Kate would be safe.

Never in a million years did he believe she would give it up completely, and for him nonetheless.

"Thank you." he finally said, thought it came out as nothing more than a quiet whisper.

"For what?" Beckett asked.

"Don't get me wrong, I meant everything I said a little bit ago, about not throwing away your life for this and everything, but in all honesty I never thought you were going to actually walk away. I thought the most I was going to get was when you agreed to step away for a little bit when we first came back. That's a large part of why I started digging on my own. I thought that if I could get enough information, when the case inevitably came back up again, I could use the information I gathered and help close the case once and for all and quickly so that you would be safe. So the fact that you choose us, it's… humbling. I have no idea what I did to deserve this, but whatever it was, I'm glad I did it." Castle responded honestly.

"I never thought I would be walking away either, but you are worth it. It's going to be hard to walk away, to watch someone else take it over, but I'm going to do it because I'm tired of letting it consume me, I want to be happy and I know my mom would want the same thing." Beckett said as she curled up next to Castle, burying her head into the crook of his neck.

"She would be proud of you, you know? I never met her, but if she is half as amazing as you say she is, she would be proud of the person you've become and she would be proud of the things you've done. I know it's going to be hard, but we will do it together." Castle said placing a kiss on her forehead as he wrapped her tighter in his arms.

"We will have to find all the files and any copies you have here, download your murder board. Then we will go to my place, find all the files and copies I have, take down my mom's murder board and then when we know that we have everything, we will send it off to the right people and delete everything we have saved to anything electronically once and for all and we will be done. For good." Beckett replied, sitting up facing Castle, a look of determination in her eyes.

"You sure you don't need time…?" Castle asked hesitantly. He didn't want to give her time, he knew that every day they put it off there was a possibility she would change her mind, but he also didn't want her to blame him later on for pushing her into this too soon.

"Nope, I have made my decision and I don't want nor need to wait any longer. I'm ready for this." Beckett said. Normally Castle wouldn't believe her, but when she gave him that genuine smile, he knew this was for real. She was really going to give this up for him.

Castle returned the smile as he stood up pulling her with him.

"C'mon. Let's go to bed. We have both had an exhausting day and if I'm tired you must be exhausted." Castle said.

He pulled her into the bedroom and immediately towards the bed.

"Get comfortable, I'm going to go take a quick shower and then I'll be right back." He said as he gave her temple a quick kiss before disappearing into the bathroom.

Beckett just stood there, frozen in place until she heard the water turn.

As she climbed into bed, a smile on her face, she couldn't believe how much had changed. If someone would have told her two days ago that she would be crawling into Richard Castle's bed after agreeing to give up her mom's case, she would have had them admitted to the psych ward and yet here she was and as she snuggled underneath the covers, she knew she was where she was always meant to be.

When Castle stepped out of the bathroom, he quietly snuck his way over to the bed and gently got into bed, not wanting to disturb the sleeping detective.

However, when he turned to lie on his side, facing her, he was surprised to find her staring at him.

"I do believe you are always telling me it's creepy to stare, Detective." He said as he rested his head on his arm.

She just smiled and she scooted herself closer to him, resting her head on his chest as she wrapped her arms around his waist and tangled her legs with his.

He returned the favor, wrapping his arms tightly around her. When she didn't say anything more, he thought that she had fallen to sleep until the silent room was filled with her hesitant voice.

"Will you come with me to see my dad this weekend? I think he deserves to know what we decided and I want you to be there with me when I tell him."

"If you want me there, I'll be there." He replied, pulling her closer to him, though he was pretty sure they couldn't get any closer unless they became one person.

"Thank you." she said through a yawn as she snuggled deeper into his chest.

"Always."

* * *

**A/N:** Another chapter done! Hope you liked it. I find I like writing the whole "pouring out their hearts" stuff because I so wish they did that on the actual show.

Speaking of the actual show, all these interviews that are being released are giving me panic attacks. I just want Caskett to be okay!

Please review!

Enjoy!


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29:

When Beckett felt the first rays of light hit her face, the last thing she wanted to do was wake up, and seeing as how she didn't have work, she didn't have to.

As she buried her face back into her pillow with a sigh, the first thing she realized was that her pillow was unusually warm. Come to think of it, her whole body was unusually warm. That's when she noticed that her pillow was not only moving, but something was lightly stroking her hair.

Opening her eyes, she was met with piercing blue eyes of Castle.

"I thought I said it was creepy to stare." Beckett mumbled groggily as a smile broke out on her face. She might tell him its creepy, but she got a strange thrill knowing Richard Castle couldn't help but stare at her.

"I woke up with a beautiful detective in my bed, I think the staring is understandable." Castle said as his lips met hers briefly in a good morning kiss. Even though she wasn't looking at him, she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Hmmm. I think I could forgive it just this once," a smile creeping onto her face.

"How did you sleep?" he asked pulling her tighter.

"Great. I got to say, you make a very good pillow." Beckett said as she opened her eyes to meet his.

"I'm glad to be of service anytime, anywhere." Castle replied giving her his heart breaking smile.

"I'll keep that in mind." Beckett replied with a chuckle. "How about you?"

"Better than I have since…awhile." Castle replied before pulling his eyes away from hers.

He didn't have to finish the sentence for her to know he meant since the shooting. If yesterday was any indication, she would guess that yesterday wasn't his first nightmare.

"How long?" she asked. She didn't elaborate, and judging by the way Castle seemed to deflate, she didn't have to.

"I would get them occasionally when we got into particularly bad situations, your apartment blowing up, the dirty bomb, but after the shooting they are pretty regular." Castle replied, a slight shudder running through his body like he was remembering.

Beckett was silent. She wasn't an idiot, she knew that some of the cases hit as close to him as they did her, but she always assumed he was able to get over them pretty quickly, especially when he showed up at her door, smile on his face, ready to offer her some comfort after a particularly hard day. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized it was probably as much for him as it was for her. It made her sick, thinking that he was going through this and she wasn't there for him like he was for her. She should have realized.

"Why didn't you tell me before? I mean I can understand why you didn't tell me after the shooting, I wasn't exactly there, but why didn't you tell me before when you first started getting them?" she asked as her eyebrows furrowed together, a frown replacing the smile she had minutes before.

"I only had one or two after your apartment blew up, but it wasn't really a big deal because I was just able to get up and check on you to make sure you were alright since you were staying at my place. After the dirty bomb case, well I couldn't exactly just call you up or show up at you door… " Castle said trailing off.

She sat there in confusion, before it clicked.

"Josh." She said.

Castle nodded. "I didn't sleep much for a couple days, every time I closed my eyes, I was right back in the freezer. I don't think I was able to get warm for a week. It took every ounce of control I had not to call you, especially when Alexis and mother weren't around, but I knew it wasn't my place and as hard as it was, at least Josh was there for you…"

"I wish you called." Beckett said with a sigh.

"Why? What about Josh? God dammit! He left you alone, especially after the freezer? I could kill that man!" Castle snarled.

"No, no, no. He was there, physically at least and he tried. Remember when he showed up at the precinct afterwards?"

Castle just nodded, his jaw still clenched.

"Well when he hugged me, I thought it would make me feel better, offer me some warmth, but it didn't, it just made it worse."

"Why?" Castle asked.

"When we were in that freezer and it sort of sunk in that we might not make it out of there, I kept waiting for the panic to set in, but it never did because I was with you, I knew that even if we were going to die, I would be alright because I was sitting there wrapped in your arms. I was staring death in the face, but I felt safe. Then when Josh showed up at the precinct and hugged me, I kept waiting for that same feeling to set in, but it never did. I kept waiting and waiting, but it never came and in that moment as I was wrapped in his arms I couldn't help but wish they were yours. I almost ran after you when I saw your face in the elevator, but Josh stayed home for me, and I thought I owed him the chance at making our relationship work." Beckett said as she glanced at Castle's face.

Castle just sat there sitting off in the distance for a little bit before he finally opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry." He said dejectedly.

"What? Why are you sorry?" she asked surprised.

"I never meant to get in the way of your relationship. It hurt seeing you with him, but you seemed happy and that's all that mattered to me, so I took a step back and stayed out of the way. But I screwed up anyway and because of that you were alone when you needed someone." Castle said closing his eyes.

When Beckett laughed, Castle's eyes shot open looking at her with an alarmed look on his face.

"Castle, you have nothing to be sorry for, if anything I should be the one apologizing. My relationship with Josh was never right to begin with. I got together with him during the summer after you left, and at first it was fun, but after awhile I just stayed in the relationship because it was safe. Especially after you came back and I realized that my feelings never went away." Beckett said.

"But if you knew your relationship wasn't right, and you had feelings for me, then why did you stay with him?" Castle asked.

"It was safe," she said with a shrug. "When you left that summer, I was hurt. Sure I eventually realized that it was probably more my fault than yours, but it still hurt and Josh was fun at first, but when you came back I realized that my feelings for you were still there and I was scared of getting hurt again, so I hid in my relationship with Josh. As long as I was with him, I didn't have to face my feelings with you, but after the freezer I think I realized that my feelings for you were never going to go away, but like I said, Josh had given up going to Haiti for me and I thought that I owed it to him to give us a shot, but it never truly felt right after that and then the shooting happened and he proposed and that's when I realized I couldn't keep dragging him along. I didn't know exactly where we were, but I knew that as long as I had feelings for you, it wasn't fair for me to drag him along, especially when he wanted to take that step."

Castle was silent for a little while, and Becket thought he might have fallen back asleep, but when she glanced up at him, his eyes were still open.

"Just so you know, leaving that summer was one of the hardest things I ever had to do and I'm sorry for leaving you, especially like that without an explanation and I'm sorry for hurting you." He said as he pulled her tighter against his body.

"It's okay. Like I said I was mad at first, but as time went on I realized that it was more my fault than anything. Plus I don't think we would have lasted if we had gotten together then. I was no where near where I am now and I think eventually my inability to let you in would have torn us apart, so while it hurt then I think it was better for us in the long run." Beckett said with a small, reassuring smile.

Castle's face broke out into a gentle smile as he leaned down to capture her lips. As their lips met, there was no urgency, it was just a lazy, gentle kiss full of promises for their future mixed with apologies and reassures for the past.

When he finally pulled away, a smug grin broke out on his face.

"You lied." He said.

"Huh?" Beckett asked burying her head back into his chest.

"When I came back after that summer, we had that bet. You threw the bet because you wanted me to stick around, didn't you?" Castle asked smugly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Beckett replied, but she knew he could hear the laughter in her voice.

"Under normal circumstances, this would make for great blackmail material, but honestly, I don't think anyone would ever believe me if I told them the great Detective Beckett threw a bet because she wanted me to stick around." Castle said.

When Beckett broke out into a fit of laughter, Castle was mesmerized.

As he captured her lips with his once again, he decided he would give up his entire fortune, if it meant he could hear that laugh every day for the rest of his life.

It was magic.

* * *

**A/N:** Well there you go. I think we are done with the heart to heart stuff for now. Next we will get into the fun stuff aka trying to hide their relationship from everyone, having some fun cases mixed into their and of course the classic jealousy issues we know they both have.

Please Review!

Enjoy!


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

When Beckett woke up for the second time that morning, she was disappointed to find Castle's side of the bed empty and cold suggesting it had been a while since he had been in bed.

Rolling over, she was surprised to find that it was a well past ten. She couldn't remember the last time she slept in until ten. Even when she had days off she the latest she would ever sleep is eight.

With one final stretch, Beckett rolled out of bed and made her way into the kitchen.

She was half way through the living room before she noticed Alexis sitting at the counter, leaning over a book.

She considered retreating back into the bedroom, but those thoughts were quickly pushed aside when Alexis looked up.

"Good Morning, Kate." She said before turning back to her books.

"Good Morning Alexis." Beckett replied before hesitantly making her way into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee.

They sat there in uncomfortable silence. As she sipped her coffee, she could feel Alexis's eyes on her. She wasn't sure if Alexis knew anything and she had no idea what to do in these situations.

Thankfully before she had to say anything, Alexia broke the silence.

"Can I ask you something?" she said hesitantly.

Beckett's stomach flipped.

"Uh, sure." she said. She scolded herself for how shaky her voice sounded.

"Are you and my dad investigating your mom's murder again?" she asked.

Wait, what? She was sure that she was going to ask her if her and her dad were together, but here she was asking about her mom's case?

"Um, what?" Beckett replied confused.

"My dad told me this morning that you knew about the murder board and then he said he was going to go run and get the copies of the files he put into a safe. I only assumed that since you knew, you would be investigating again and therefore my dad..." Alexis trailed off.

"Wait, you knew about the murder board?" Beckett asked surprised.

"Yeah. I overheard my dad talking to Grams after he got the phone call and I made him tell me everything otherwise I would go to you." Alexis replied somewhat embarassed that she basically used Beckett to blackmail her dad.

"That makes sense. But to answer your question, no, we aren't investigating it again." Beckett replied.

"You aren't? Then why is dad going to get the files?" Alexis asked surprised, yet confused.

"We decided that it's time we both step away from the case for good so we are getting everything we have and everything we know into a file and then we are going to send it off to someone who has he resources and abilities to actually do something about it." Beckett replied as she took a long sip of coffee.

"Thank you." Alexis mumbled, obviously trying to hold back tears.

"Alexis, if this was upsetting you so much, why didn't you come talk to me? I could have made your dad step away." Beckett asked.

Alexis mumbled something, but Beckett couldn't understand her.

"What?" she asked.

"Because then you would be gone." She mumbled a little longer.

She would be gone?

"I don't think I'm folowing." Beckett said hesitantly, not wanting to push the young girl too far.

Alexis took a deep breath before going on.

"For the a long time it has just been me and my dad. Even when he was with someone it was still just me and my dad. My mom was never around, and even when he was married to Gina she didn't have any interest in forming a relationship with me. Throughout my whole life, I would have women always trying to get close to me not because they were interested in me, but because they wanted to get close to my dad. But when I met you, you were actually interested in me because you actually cared, not because you were trying to get close to my dad. It surprised me at first, but as it became more and more apparent that my dad was developing feelings for you, I think I started to get used to the idea that you could actually become family one day and in a way you did and it was exciting for me because you actually wanted a relationship with me. When my dad got shot, I think part of the reason I was so mad was because I realized it could have easily been you, I could have easily lost you. When I asked my dad about it after I overheard him, I think that was when I fully understood the full implications of what your mother's death did to you and I realized that if my dad was keeping this a secret from you, then there was a really good reason for it because my dad would never lie to you unless it was absolutly necessary. I also kinda figured out that if you knew you would probably be dead within a month and I couldn't lose you. You are the closest thing to a mother I have ever had and I just couldn't lose you." Alexis said as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

Kate Beckett could face the hardest criminals, but when it came to a crying teenager, she was in foreign territory so she did the only thing she knew how to do. She went around the counter and pulled her into a hug.

"You don't have to worry anymore, Alexis. Its over. That part of our lives are over." Kate mumbled into her hair.

After awhile, Alexis's breathing evened out and she pulled back wiping the remenants of the tears of her face.

"Thanks Kate. Not just for walking away, but being there for my dad and being there for me. You really are part of the family." Alexis said with a small smile.

"I think I should be the one thanking you. Before you guys it was just me and my dad and even then we weren't much of a family. It's nice to know I have a family again." Kate said.

"So, uh, can I ask you one more question? I think I know the answer, but I just want to make sure..." Alexis said.

"You can ask me anything, anytime, Alexis." Beckett replied.

"Are you and my dad together now?" she said with a small, nervous chuckle.

Kate just laughed.

"Yes. Your dad and I are together." She replied.

Alexis broke out into a huge grin. "Finally! We were all wondering when you guys would open your eyes and see that you were perfect for each other!"

"You sound like Lanie," Beckett said with a chuckle.

Half an hour later, Beckett was just finishing telling Alexis about when Castle thought he was cursed as they ate the sandwhiches they made when Castle came through the door.

From her spot behind the counter, she saw Castle pause in the doorway when he saw the sight before him and a huge grin took over his voice at the sight.

"I don't know whether I should be happy or worried to see you two laughing in my kitchen. What were you two talking about?" he said as he gave Alexis a kiss on the head and then came around the counter to do the same to Kate.

"Oh nothing. I was just telling Alexis here how Iwas using you to get to her." Beckett said with a smile.

"I think I should be offended, but my daughter is pretty amazing so use away." Castle said with his goofy grin as he brought his lips to hers.

"Ew!" came Alexis's squeal. "That's my cue to leave! I'm going to Paige's to work on homework. I'll be home later. Bye Kate." She said as she gave her dad a kiss on the cheek before disappearing through the door.

When she was gone, Castle pulled her into another kiss before pulling away.

"Hey." He said with a smile.

"Hey yourself." Beckett replied.

"Everything alright? I didn't mean to leave you to the wrath of my daughter, but I had to go get the files before the building closed." He said motioning to the stack of folders on the counter.

"Everything is perfect. You have an amazing daughter." She replied as she went to pour another cup of coffee.

"That I do. What did you talk about?" he asked.

"She asked me if we were investigating my mom's case again. She explained how she found out about the murder board and when you told her I found out and you were going to get the files, she assumed we were going to start investigating again." She said with a shurg of her shoulders.

"Ah. I guess I could have been clearer. What did you say?" Castle asked.

"I told her the truth. I told her that we decided we were going to step away from the case for good." She replied. She was surprised when Castle broke out into a huge grin.

"So we are really doing this?" he asked.

"We are really doing this. I have spent too much of my life buried in the case and I am honestly getting tired of it. I will always want justice for my mom, but I have come to the point where I realized it isn't worth it anymore if it means I don't have you and the guys and Lanie and Alexis and your mom in my life. So yes we are really doing this." She replied.

"Then let's do it." Castle said as he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his office after grabbing the files on the counter.

As Beckett stepped through the office, she was surprised that she didn't feel an ounce of regret. She supposed it had something to do with the man standing in front of her.

That and for the first time since before her mom died, she was happy.

* * *

**A/N: **There ya go! Hope you like it! I won't go into too much detail with the whole packing up the case stuff. I'll give you a little bit, but then we really will get into some fun and fluffy Caskett

Enjoy!


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31:

"I never realized how much information I had until we had to find it all." Castle said as he clipped the last stack of papers together and put them in the box before closing the lid.

"Me either. I'm pretty sure between the two of us, we probably did some damage on a rain forest somewhere." Beckett said with a chuckle.

When Castle didn't say anything, she looked up to see what was wrong, only to find him standing there with a half amused, half questioning look on his face.

"What?" she asked.

"I thought for sure that at some point today you would want to back out and I would have to convince you to keep going. I guess I'm just surprised that you're taking it so well." Castle said with a shrug.

"I get what you mean, I kept waiting for it too, but it never came and I have you to thank for that." Beckett said as she came to stand in front of him, wrapping her hands around his waist.

"What did I do?" Castle asked as he pulled her into his chest.

"Before you I wouldn't have even thought twice about it if someone asked me to walk away from my mother's case. I would always choose my mom. But with you, for the first time in my life, there is no hesitation when I say I would choose you every single time. You gave me a reason to want to walk away from my mom's case. You saved my life, figuratively and literally." Beckett said with a smile

"Well, I'm glad I could help. You helped me too you know. Before I met you the only real thing I had to look forward to was Alexis. I was bored with life, not really sure where to go. I kind of lived my life one party to the next. But then this badass cop showed up at one of my book parties and flashed her badge at me and I felt a rug was pulled out from under me. You made me want to be a better man, you made my life better. You showed me what love truly is, you made me a better father and son, you showed me what it truly meant to have friends, and you gave me the chance to make a difference in the world and even though I am not really a cop, I still feel like I am making a difference." Castle said.

"Hmmm, well I guess we are the perfect match." Beckett said as she broke out into a huge grin, pulling him down onto the couch and curling into his side.

When she didn't say anything else, Castle turned to say something, but when he turned he saw she had the look she got when she was deep in thought, so he settled for watching her as she mulled over whatever storm was going through her mind.

"I think we should tell Gates." She finally said as she turned to look at him.

"What?" Castle asked, confused.

"I think we should take the files to Gates, explain what we know and what we want, and then let her handle it. As much as I don't like her, I have no doubts that she will make sure it is handled efficiently and effectively." Beckett said.

"Are you sure?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, I think I am. I also think we should request the case be handed off to Jordan Shaw. I don't know if we can make a request like that, but if we can, I trust her. Is that alright with you?" she asked.

"It sounds good to me. We have lunch with your dad tomorrow, right?" Castle asked.

Beckett nodded.

"Okay, then how about we head to the precinct tomorrow morning and then we can go have lunch with your dad." Castle suggested.

Beckett just nodded again, before she buried herself into his side once again.

They just sat there, both lost in their thoughts.

The next time Beckett looked at her watch it was going on ten.

"I should go." She said as she sat up and began to pull on her shoes.

"You could stay." Castle suggested

She just shook her head no. To be honest, she didn't want to leave probably as much as he didn't want her to, but they had been through a lot in the past 48 hours and some time apart would probably be good.

Walking towards the door, she turned around to pull him into a kiss.

"A lot has happened in the past couple days. I think some time apart would be good for the both of us. I'll come pick you up around nine tomorrow. It'll give you the chance to spend some time with Alexis." She said as she pulled her coat on before giving him one more kiss and disappearing out the door towards the elevator.

She watched Castle stand in the hall, watching her, until the doors closed.

She was lost in thought the entire way home and didn't notice the cab pulled up outside of her apartment until the cab driver asked if she was getting out.

Paying the driver, she made her way up to her apartment and into her bedroom. She changed into a pair of yoga pants and her NYPD sweatshirt before crawling into bed.

As she curled up on her side, she couldn't help but feel disappointed at how big and cold her bed was without Castle. She wasn't a cuddler. The few times Josh wanted to cuddle, she waited until he was asleep before she untangled herself from his arms and made her way to the couch to sleep. She just felt suffocated. But being wrapped up in Castle's arms last night felt so right she doubted she would ever be able to fall asleep without him again.

After tossing and turning for an hour she gave up and got up to get a glass of water. When she got back to her bedroom, she noticed the light was going off on her phone letting her know she had a message. Picking it up, she smiled when she saw it was Castle.

**Castle:**** Hey… are you awake?**

**Beckett:**** I am now. **

**Castle:**** Oh, sorry. I'll let you go back to sleep. **

**Beckett:**** I was just kidding, I was getting a glass of water. What's up?**

**Castle:**** I miss you :-(**

**Beckett:**** I just left. Go to sleep. **

**Castle:**** I did. **

**Beckett:**** Go back to sleep. **

**Castle:**** I can't. **

**Beckett:**** And why not? **

**Castle:**** *sigh* I'm tired of watching you die. **

**Beckett:**** :-( Another nightmare?**

**Castle:**** Yeah. I have them every night.**

**Beckett:**** I don't remember you having any last night?**

**Castle:**** I didn't… I didn't have to worry because I knew you were there… **

**Beckett:**** *sigh* Do you want me to come over?**

**Castle:**** No, it's okay. **

**Beckett:**** Try and get back to sleep. If you have another nightmare and you need to make sure I'm okay, then call me. **

**Castle:**** Really? **

**Beckett:**** Really. **

**Castle:**** Thanks. I miss you. **

**Beckett:**** I miss you too. **

**Castle:**** ! Did the great Detective Beckett just admit to missing me?**

**Beckett:**** I take it back. **

**Castle:**** Nope! No take backs. You miss me:-)**

**Beckett:**** I still carry a gun, Castle. **

**Castle:**** But you wouldn't shoot me, because then you'd always miss me;-)**

Beckett just rolled her eyes. She had no idea how she found this adorable. She was about to text him back when he texted her again.

**Castle:**** Can I really call you if I have a nightmare…?**

**Beckett:**** Of course you can. You've always been there for me and I want to be there for you. **

**Castle:**** You are extraordinary. **

**Beckett:**** You're not so bad yourself, Castle. **

**Castle:**** :-) You should get to sleep. **

**Beckett:**** Are you going to be okay?**

**Castle:**** I think so. As long as you promise me I'll never have to go another night without you. I don't care if it's at your place or mine, I never want to have to wake up again without you there, wrapped in my arms. **

**Beckett:**** I think I can manage that:-) Good night Castle. **

**Castle:**** Until tomorrow Detective. **

This time when she climbed into bed, she was able to fall asleep because she knew she would never wake up alone again.

* * *

**A/N:** So I decided I'm just going to stop promising that I am going to get away from serious Beckett and Castle. It always seems to make its way in somehow:P

Enjoy!


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32:

Beckett woke up long before her alarm was set to go off and she wasn't surprised that she couldn't get her brain to turn off long enough for her to get a few more hours of sleep.

She knew today was going to be difficult. She was closing a major chapter in her life. She never thought she would ever walk away from her mom's case until it was solved and even though she knew without a doubt that this is what she wanted, she knew it would still be difficult.

But even knowing what lay ahead in her day, she couldn't help but smile because she knew that no matter what happened today, she would still have Castle. She would always have Castle. She had no doubts about that and even in the face of uncertainty, she felt safe.

She couldn't help the way her stomach fluttered when she realized that today would be that last time she introduced a guy to her dad. Castle was it for her.

As she rolled out of bed, she saw her light flashing on her phone alerting her of another message. She wasn't surprised when she picked it up to find it was Castle.

**Castle:**** Good morning beautiful:-) Couldn't help feeling disappointed when I woke up and remembered you weren't here. Alexis says hi. I think she was a tad bit surprised you weren't here. Let me know when you are leaving so I can make sure I'm ready. **

Beckett just shook her head as she made her way into the bathroom to take a shower before starting her day.

As Beckett let the warm water run over her skin, she let herself get lost in thought.

She always thought that if she didn't find the person behind her mother's murder, she would be letting her down. But now she realized her mom would be disappointed in her.

She always accused others of not understanding when they asked her to step away from her mom's case, but now she realized she was the one that didn't understand. She was the one that didn't understand.

She didn't understand what it would do to her dad. He took her mom's death really hard. She lost count of how many times she had to go to the local bar and drag him home, but he got better and they repaired their relationship somewhat. Sure they weren't as close as they could be had both of them tried a little harder, but they were their own little family and she never took a second to think about what it would do to her dad if she died because she wouldn't walk away.

She didn't understand what it would do to Ryan and Esposito. They were like her brothers. They had been there for her from the very beginning and they always had her back even when they may not have agreed with her. It made her sick knowing they would probably be the ones to get the call about her body. They would be the ones to have to tell her father that she died because she couldn't walk away.

She didn't understand what it would do to Lanie. Lanie was her best friend. She was the one she called when she had a nightmare. She was the one who would pick her up when she had a little too much to drink. Apart from Castle, Lanie was the only one that she had truly let in, who knew what she was like at her worst. She knew they wouldn't let her do the autopsy, but Lanie wouldn't leave her, even when she was dead. She would stand there and watch as someone else cut open her best friend, all because she couldn't walk away.

She didn't understand what it would do to Alexis. Alexis was no stranger to people walking out on her, eventually leaving. It had only been her and her dad for a long time, yet she let her in and as she got closer and closer to the younger Castle, she began to care for Alexis like she was her own. It sent a shudder down her spine as she wondered if Alexis would become like her, all because she couldn't walk away.

She didn't understand what it would do to Martha. She was nothing like her mother, but she had welcomed her with open arms and treated her like her own daughter. She was definitely one of a kind, but she knew that if she called, Martha would be there in the drop of a hat. Martha would lose the daughter she never got the chance to have, all because she couldn't walk away.

She didn't understand what it would do to Rick. The thought of what it would do to Rick sent the tears she had been trying to hold back rolling down her cheeks as she thought about Rick getting the call telling him she was dead. She knew he would want to see her. She could see him falling apart over her lifeless body in the morgue. She could see him wasting away to nothing, a ghost of the man he used to be, his eyes cold and grey, that glint she loved gone forever knowing he lost the woman he loved all because she couldn't walk away.

But none of that is going to happen, because for some reason, none of them ever gave up on her. She doesn't know what she did to deserve it, she's pretty sure she doesn't, but she isn't going to waste any more time.

When she stepped out of the shower and began to get ready for the day ahead, it was with a new determination. She didn't care if Gates took all the files and threw them in the trash. She was done and for the first time in her life, she was going to live her life for what she had, not for what she lost.

She slipped on her shoes and grabbed her jacket before sending a quick text to Castle that she was leaving as she made her way downstairs and hailed a cab.

The trip to Castle's loft seemed to take twice as long as it usually did so when she finally got to his building, she didn't have the patience to wait for the elevator and chose the stairs instead.

When she got to his door, she barely had the chance to knock before he door was swinging open to reveal Castle with a huge smile in place.

"What were you doing, standing there staring through the peep hole waiting for me?" she asked as he ushered her into his apartment.

"Yes. I missed you and couldn't wait to see you. But you have no room to talk detective. The last time I checked, you don't get winded from taking the elevator. What? Elevator not fast enough for you?" Castle said with a smug look on his face.

"Whatever Castle." She said as she turned around to head into the kitchen.

She barely took two steps before Castle grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to him as his lips came crashing down on hers. This wasn't like any of the other kisses they've shared. This one was full of passion and need. He wasted little time before his tongue was begging for access, and it took just as long for her to grant him access. The moment his tongue touched hers, it was like something exploded inside of both of them. She ran her hands upward an around his neck before settling in his hair as she tried to pull his mouth closer to hers and at the same time he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against his body and very apparent arousal. They only broke apart when they heard Alexis clear her throat behind them.

Castle just broke out into a huge grin and Kate buried her face into his chest, embarrassed at the fact that they just got caught making out like two horny teenagers.

"I didn't mean to interrupt, but you're kind of blocking the door." Alexis said, just as mortified.

"Sorry pumpkin." Castle said as he stepped away from the door, pushing Kate behind him where she immediately buried her head into his back. "Have a good day at school."

"Bye dad. Kate." She said before disappearing out the front door, closing it behind her.

"God Castle! Why didn't you tell me she was still here? I'm not going to be able to look her in the face for weeks." She groaned.

When Castle just laughed she shot him a look before attempting to push past him.

"I'm sorry. But the look on her face was priceless! But I really am sorry, I never meant for it to get quite so carried away, but I can't seem to control myself when I'm around you." he said as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her waist again.

She tried to stay mad at him, but she looked up to see him pouting she couldn't control herself anymore as she leaned up to kiss the pout right off his face.

Right when things started to pick up, she broke the kiss, sauntering into the kitchen.

"You're a tease." Castle growled as he ran up behind her, grabbing her around the waist, as he peppered her neck with kisses.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." She said throwing him a wink. "Now get me some coffee, we have things to do, people to see."

Twenty minutes later, they had coffee and files in hand and were pulling up in front of the precinct.

"You ready?" Castle asked as he paid the cabbie.

"Ready." Beckett said giving him a quick kiss before hopping out of the cab.

As they made their way into the precinct and waited for the elevator, Castle could tell Beckett was nervous by the way she picked at the top of her coffee.

When they stepped in the elevator and the doors closed behind them, Castle reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. He could see the tension drain out of her at his touch as she shot him a glance, silently thanking him.

When the doors opened to reveal the bullpen to the homicide level, Beckett is relieved to see that it's mostly empty except for a few uniforms working on paperwork. It was going to be hard enough talking to Gates, she was glad she wouldn't have to worry about curious eyes.

When she knocked on the door to Gate's office, she didn't even look up as she motioned them in. When Castle closed the door behind them, the captain finally lifted her gaze from the paperwork sitting on her desk to see her who was in her office.

"Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle, I was under the impression that you had the day off today."

"We do sir." Beckett said, as she took a deep breath in trying to calm her nerves. "We are here because we have something we need to discuss with you."

"I'm quite busy detective, this better be important." Gates said glancing between the detective and the writer.

"It is." Beckett replied.

Gates nodded and motioned to the chairs in front of her desk.

"What can I do for you?" Gates asked after they took their seat.

"I think it's better if we show you what we have and then explain." Beckett said motioning to Castle to hand her the file on her mother's case.

Gates took the file with one last look at the pair in front of her before she opened the file and began to read through what was in front of her.

Five minutes turned into ten and ten minutes turned into fifteen. It was almost twenty minutes of nothing but silence before Gates spoke again.

"Alright, you have my attention." She said.

Beckett glanced at Castle who nodded at her, encouraging her to go on.

"Both Castle and I have been investigating this case on our own, piecing together what we know and what we find out. Everything in that file and in the box is everything we have accumulated over the years. We made sure everything we knew and had was included in that box before we properly and effectively destroyed and copies we had made and erased anything we had saved electronically. We both decided that this case was too big for either one of us to pursue, no matter what your decision is, but we were hoping you could somehow get this into the hands of someone who has the ability and resources to do something about it before any more people lose their lives." Beckett said.

Gates sat their silent for a little while before she sat up a little straighter.

"I have to say detective, I'm surprised. When I was first assigned to this precinct, I read up on your file and knew that when it came to your mom's case, I was going to have some issues when it came to you if anything ever came up in regards to it. That being said, I think both you and Mr. Castle are making the right choice in stepping away. I will make sure that this gets into the proper hands." Gates said, clearly dismissing them.

Beckett looked at Castle and Castle understood what she wanted.

"Uh, sir?" Castle asked hesitantly.

"What is it Mr. Castle?" Gates asked without looking up.

"We realize that it may be out of your control, but if you have any say in who takes over the case, we would prefer if Agent Jordan Shaw was the one to take it over. We both worked with her on a case a few years back and we both trust her." Castle said.

Gates nodded. "I personally know Agent Shaw and I will do my best to make sure she is in charge."

"Thank you sir." Castle said before heading to the door and holding it open for Beckett.

Neither of them said anything until they got into the elevator. Once the doors closed they both visibly relaxed as Castle pulled Kate into a hug.

"It's over." Castle mumbled into her hair.

"Yeah." Beckett mumbled back as she pressed her face into his chest.

"Are you okay?" Castle asked her leaning back to take in her expression.

"Yeah. I was just nervous at her reaction, but I feel so much lighter knowing that chapter of my life is finally over." Beckett said as the doors opened and she made her way through the lobby and onto the street to hail a cab.

"I'm glad it's over too. Now we can finally relax." He said sliding into the cab behind Beckett and taking her hand in his.

Beckett turned towards him, pressing her lips against his.

"Oh don't relax too much Castle. That was nothing. Now you get to meet my father." Beckett said with a wicked grin.

She couldn't help the laughter that took over her when she saw all the color drain from his face as they pulled up in front of the diner she told her dad to meet her at.

As she paid the cab driver and pulled Castle out of the cab, she couldn't help but think that her day was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

* * *

**A/N:** I know this chapter is long, but I didn't feel like I had a good stopping point until now.

As I was writing the part where Beckett is thinking about how her death would affect all those who loved her, "In My Veins" came on. Let's just say I was bawling by the time I was done writing it.

Hope you enjoy!

Please Review:)


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33:

When Beckett entered the diner and made her way to their usual booth in the back corner, she wasn't surprised to find her dad already sitting there, sipping on a cup of coffee.

"Hey dad" she said as she approached the table.

"Hi Katie." He said as he stood up to pull her into a hug. She was surprised when he extended his hand to Castle after he let her go.

"Jim." Castle said taking his hand and offering him a warm smile.

"Nice to see you again, Rick." Her father said.

"Again?" Beckett asked looking between her father and Castle.

"Oh, uh yeah. I've met your dad before." Castle said with a quick glance at Beckett before averting his eyes, pretending to be interested in something outside.

Jim chuckled at the writer's obvious discomfort. "Before Roy's funeral I paid Rick a visit at his loft. When I saw that Detective Raglan was killed having coffee with the two of you, I knew it was only a matter of time before you started digging again. I knew that there wasn't a chance I could convince you to walk away, but from your stories and what I've heard about you two and your partnership, I figured if anyone could do it, it was Rick. So I paid him a surprise visit."

Beckett looked at Castle and took his hand offering him a small smile. "That's why you came to my apartment that night?" she asked.

"Uh… yeah. That and after you left the precinct, Montgomery asked me the same thing." He said quietly.

"Thanks." She said squeezing his hand and offering him a genuine smile.

"Always." Castle said before visibly relaxing.

Kate shrugged out of her coat with the help of Castle before sliding into the booth, pulling Castle with her.

Castle was pleasantly surprised when she took his hand in hers again once they were settled.

The entire time Jim was watching the interaction between the two. He wanted to ask, but he decided they would tell him when they were ready.

Before anyone could say anything, the waitress came over and poured them all a cup of coffee before taking their order.

When she disappeared again, Jim cleared his throat.

"So Katie, what do I owe the pleasure? You said there was something important that you needed to discuss with me." He said as he glanced between his daughter and the man sitting next to her.

Beckett looked at Castle and he gave her a reassuring nod, urging her to go on.

"It's about mom's case, dad." Beckett said looking back at her father.

"Oh?" Jim asked.

"Yes. I decided, we decided," she said motioning between her and Castle, "that it was time we both stepped away for good."

"I'm glad to hear that. I haven't exactly made it a secret that I thought this was something you needed to do for awhile now. Can I ask what made you realize that you wanted to step away?" Jim asked.

"I found something more important, something that makes me happy and I wasn't willing to give that up, even if it meant never finding out who is behind mom's death" Beckett said as she met Castle's eyes.

Jim didn't get the chance to say anything, but at that moment the waitress reappeared with their meals.

As they fell into comfortable silence, Jim couldn't help but watch his daughter and the writer interact across the table.

They kept taking sideways glances at each other before one of them would attempt to steal a fry of the other's plates without the other one stopping them before they both broke out into fits of laughter. At one point, Katie dipped a fry into ketchup and turned to feed it to Rick, but at the last minute pulled it back and ate it for herself. This ended in another fit of laughter. At one point, Katie had some ketchup on the side of her mouth and Rick didn't even hesitate as he reached over to wipe it off with his thumb with a small smile before turning back to his food. To his surprise, his daughter just smiled as she reached over to place her hand on his cheek, rubbing his jaw a few times with her thumb in thanks before getting a mischievous smile on her face as she reached down and stole the last bit of his sandwich, plopping it into her mouth. She broke into a fit of laughter at the look on his face, and Jim watched as the writer tried to stay angry, but soon broke out into a huge smile at the sight of Katie sitting next to him in fits of laugher.

After Johanna had died, Katie was forced to grow up. Not only had she lost her mother, but she had, in a way, lost her father too. He was ashamed of the way he had acted in the wake of his wife's murder, and even more ashamed of the fact that he wasn't there for his daughter. When he was finally sober, he saw the drastic change in Katie. She was closed off and guarded, probably because she was never able to grieve for her mother properly. That being said, Jim never thought he would see his Katie, the one who was filled with so much joy and happiness before her entire world was flipped upside down. But as he sat there watching his daughter, he realized for the first time since they came home from dinner that night, he was watching his old Katie and it was all because of the man sitting next to her.

He remembered when Richard Castle first showed up in Katie's life. Katie had called complaining about how this immature, egotistical, cocky, jackass decided that he was going to follow her around and play cop because he decided she was interesting and was the perfect inspiration for a new character in one of his novels. Eventually, the stories of how Castle was an idiot slowly subsided. Sure she still brought him up every time they talked, but they were no longer stories of her complaining about what he did, they were just stories about what he did. Pulling her out of her burning apartment after it exploded, how he spent hours upon hours going over her mom's case with her, how he was setting up a scholarship program in honor of mom. Jim wasn't stupid, he knew that his daughter's feelings for the writer were growing, but sitting here watching the two of them, realizing how happy his daughter was, he realized that over the course of the past three and a half years, his daughter had fallen in love.

Usually he would feel the need to grill the man sitting next to his daughter, ask him what his intentions were as he pulled out the old rifle to give it a good cleaning, but he knew the second he watched the writer almost lose his life because he jumped in front of Katie to keep her from getting shot, that it was unnecessary and now sitting here watching them interact, the pure love and devotion radiating off of the writer as he watched the woman besides him drove it home and Jim knew that Rick would spend the rest of his life making sure his daughter was happy and that was enough for him.

After their plates were cleared, Jim placed both hands on the table and folded them together, hoping he had a stern look on his face.

"So, is there something else I should know?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he looked between the writer and his daughter.

Jim almost laughed when the color drained out of the writer's face, so he must be doing a good job at looking threatening.

Kate swallowed and glanced at her partner before turning back to answer her father.

"Yes. Rick and I are together." She said as she took Rick's hand in hers again, hoping to drive home the point.

Jim sat quietly looking between the two, hoping to make them squirm a little for holding out on him for so long, but when little beads of sweat started to appear on the writer's forehead he decided enough was enough.

"It's about damn time." He said as he leaned back with a huge smile on his face.

Castle let out a shaky breath as Kate looked at her father with wide eyes.

"Dad!" she hissed.

"What? I've sat here for the past three and a half years listening to you go on about Castle this and Castle that. It was pretty apparent that there was more between you than 'just friends'. I'm just glad you finally realized it." Jim said with a shrug.

Beckett's entire face turned bright red and Castle turned to look at her with a smug smile on his face.

"You talked to your dad about me?" he said, a tone of pride in his voice.

"Way to inflate his ego even more, dad!" Kate growled.

Jim and Castle just chuckled.

"Katie, why don't you go pay the bill so I can have a little word with Rick here." Jim said.

Kate looked at her father and then back at Castle, clearly a bit hesitant to leave her boyfriend and father alone with each other, but when her father's look was unwavering, she sighed in defeat and pushed Castle out of the booth, grabbing the check and making her way to the counter.

When Castle sat down he was pretty sure he knew what was coming, he was a father after all and he regularly threatened and interrogated any new guy his daughter brought home. With a deep breath, he folded his hands on the table and braced himself for whatever Jim had to say.

"Thank you." Jim finally said.

Castle froze. This wasn't what he was expecting. Why was he thanking him?

Jim must have sensed Castle's confusion because he chuckled before continuing.

"You brought my Katie back. I am not sure how much she told you, but when her mom died, she not only lost her mom, but she lost her dad too. I was not there for her like I should have been and it took it's toll on Katie. She wasn't able to grieve like she should have, instead she was forced to bottle it up and grow up way too fast and that's my fault. Our relationship has gotten better over the years, but neither of us are what we used to be and I longed for the day I could see the old Katie. The one who was filled with so much joy and happiness and today for the first time since her mom died, I saw that. You make her happy Rick and you saved her in more than one way, so thank you." Jim finished as he glanced up at the counter to see Katie making her way back towards them.

Castle just nodded.

When Kate made her way back to the table, Jim stood and pulled on his coat, Rick following suit before holding up Kate's coat, helping her into it.

"As much as I enjoyed this, I have to get going. We should do this again." Jim said.

"We'll have to have you over to the loft for dinner sometime." Castle said. "I know mother and Alexis and mother are dying to meet you."

"That sounds wonderful." Jim said shaking Castle's hand before turning to his daughter and pulling her into a hug.

"It's good to see you happy, Katie. Don't let him go, he's good for you." he whispered in her ear.

"I don't plan on it." She said and she didn't.

"Good. Have a good rest of your day." Jim said as they made there way out of the diner.

Castle hailed a cab and held the door open for Jim.

"Bye dad." Kate said before Castle shut the door.

They both watched as the cab pulled away and disappeared into the sea of traffic.

"So, want to head back to the loft? I know Alexis texted me asking when we were going to be home, apparently she has a movie marathon planned out." Castle said as he pulled her hand into his.

"Actually there is one more place I think we should go." Beckett said as she looked up at Castle.

Castle nodded and hailed a cab, holding the door open for her to slide in before sliding in behind her. Beckett leaned forward and quietly gave the cabbie directions before leaning back in her seat.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

Beckett looked at him and took his hand in hers.

"I think it's time you met my mom."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, so I think this was my favorite chapter so far. Especially when I was writing about Jim watching Castle and Beckett because I absolutely love the change in Beckett because of Castle. Its one of my favorite aspects of the show so I hope y'all enjoy it!.

Happy Castle Monday!

Also my prayers go out to those injured, killed, or simply affected by the bombing at the Boston Marathon. It's a shame that people need to resort to violence and take innocent lives. Keep them in your prayers.

Enjoy!


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34:

_Beckett looked at him and took his hand in hers. _

"_I think it's time you met my mom." _

He thought he was nervous when she asked him to come with her to see her dad, but compared to this, that was a walk in the park.

Beckett on the other hand was surprisingly calm as she reflected on her lunch with her dad and Castle. It wasn't a surprise to her that her dad was happy that she was going to be giving up her mom's case, it wasn't even a surprise to her that her dad was happy that her and Castle were together. He had been anything but subtle as he hinted that Castle was obviously in love with her.

No, what surprised her most was how comfortable she was with Castle even when her dad was there. She couldn't have held back her laughter as her and Castle took turns stealing fries from each other's plates if she wanted to, but she realized she didn't want to hold back, not with Castle. When he reached over to wipe the ketchup off the corner of her mouth, she didn't even hesitate to reach over and caress his cheek before she reached over to grab the last piece of his sandwich only to break into another fit of laughter as he tried to stay mad at her before ultimately failing as he broke out into a huge smile at the sight of her clutching her aching sides.

Before they came to lunch, she knew she wanted to go see her mom, especially after handing over her case, and she had no intentions of bringing Castle. She had never brought anyone with her to her mom's grave, but as she made her way out of the diner, hand in hand with Castle she realized for the first time in her life, she wanted someone to come with her. No, not just someone, she wanted Castle to come with her.

When she glanced over at Castle, she was surprised to find him sitting there quietly, looking out his window.

"What's wrong Castle? Not able to pass the next level of Angry Birds?" she asked, not even bothering to hide the fact that she was teasing him.

When Castle gave her a small, forced smile before turning back to look out his window again, Beckett's smile disappeared and was replaced by a frown.

"Castle, what's wrong?" she asked in a serious tone.

Castle continued to look out the window for a few more seconds before letting out a sigh as he mumbled a barely audible "I'm nervous."

"What?" Beckett asked in confusion. Why was he nervous? They already met her dad and she thought it had gone pretty well.

Castle let out another frustrated sigh before turning to look at her.

"You've never taken anyone to you're mom's grave before." He said.

"I know." She said, still not understanding what the problem was.

"You're taking me to you're mom's grave." He said staring at her like it was clear what the problem was.

"I am. Do you not want to go to my mom's grave?" she asked a little hurt. Here she was taking a big step and doing something she has never done before, and he didn't want to go with her.

Obviously sensing the hurt in her voice, Castle grabbed her hand as he frantically shook his head. "No! I would love to go with you to your mom's grave." he said.

"Okay, then I'm going to need your help here Castle because I don't see what the problem is…" Beckett said, eyebrows raised.

"I just… You're bringing _**ME**_ to see your mom. I guess I'm just having a little trouble understanding why, out of everyone you could possibly bring with you, you'd chose me. I mean I know we are together and everything, but I always expected that when and if you were ready to bring someone with you it would be Lanie, or the guys, someone who hasn't basically ignored your every request when it comes to your mom. I mean I dug into her case, twice, even when you asked me not to, you had to kill the man who killed your mom because I got in the way, I almost got you shot…" Castle said as he trailed off, hoping he was too quiet for her to hear that last part.

"Castle… Rick… look at me." Beckett said as she squeezed his hand to get him to look in her direction.

She waited until he was looking at her before he continued. "I have never blamed you for any of that and I don't want you to blame yourself either. Yes, you dug into my mom's case when I asked you, but if you hadn't, we would have never found the connection between my mother's murders and the others. Yes, I had to kill Coonan, but not because you got in the way. If it wasn't for you Castle, we would have never found my mother's killer in the first place. Yes, I was mad and hurt when I found out you were continuing with the investigation on my mom's case when you asked me to step away, but that was before I understood why you did it. As mad as I was, I would have probably done the same thing had the situation been reversed. As for the shooting, I never want to hear you blame yourself for that. You saved my life and that is the only thing that matters." Beckett said.

"But…" Castle began, but Beckett cut him off when she put her hand over his mouth.

"No buts Castle. I want you to be there with me. If I didn't I never would have suggested it. Yes, we have hurt each other a lot in the past few years, and things may not have always been easy for us, but no matter what happened, no matter how much I tried to push you away and tell you that we are over, you kept coming back. You never gave up on me and today I realized that I've been hiding from this, from us, for too long. For the longest time, I my life revolved around my mother's case and whenever I came to see her, it had something to do with her case, whether it was the anniversary of her death, or simply frustration for not getting anywhere on her case. Today is no different, I still want to go see her because of her case, but this time its because I finally gave up her case to live my life and be happy and I want her to meet the man responsible for that happiness. That's why I'm bringing you." Kate finished.

When she looked up, she was surprised to find him smiling, tears, rolling down his cheeks. She untangled her hands from his and wiped the tears off his face using the pad of her thumbs before pulling him in so her lips met his. It wasn't a kiss that was going to go anywhere, nor was it a slow, gentle kiss. It was a just because I can kiss.

When Beckett pulled back, Castle rested his forehead on hers.

"Thank you. I wish I could put into words how blessed I feel." He said, his hot breath washing over her face, sending chills down her spine.

"Always." She replied placing one more tender kiss to his soft lips as the cab came to a stop.

She looked out the window to see that they were at the entrance to the cemetery before turning back to Castle with a smile on her face.

"Ready?" she asked, wiping of the last remnants of his tears.

"Ready." He said as he paid the cab driver before following her out of the cab.

When Castle straightened up and shut the door to the cab, Beckett reached over and immediately grabbed his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze before turning to lead him along the gravel path to her mom's grave.

When they reached the grave, Castle thought Beckett would want some space to say what she wanted to say, which is why he was surprised when she motioned for him to sit down on the ground in front of her mom's grave, sitting down herself and settling herself between the V of his legs, leaning back against his chest and taking his arms so they were wrapped securely around her stomach before wrapping her arms around his.

They just sat there in silence, neither one of them wanting to ruin the quiet peacefulness that surrounded them quiet yet.

After about ten minutes, Beckett's voice filled the quiet space around them.

"Hi mom. I finally did it. I walked away from the case. I always thought I would let you down if I allowed myself to be happy, so I didn't let anyone in, I put up walls and kept anyone from getting too close and buried myself in your case so I wouldn't let you down, and it hurt a lot of people, especially those who cared about me. But I met someone who never gave up on me. I tried to keep him out for the longest time. I tried to push him away in every way possible, but he always came back and he always found a way past my defenses. He helped me realize that it was okay to be happy and it was okay to live my life. That's why I walked away because I couldn't lose him. I know you would understand. You would have wanted me to choose him too. You would like him mom. I know you would. I brought him with me today. I wanted you to meet the man responsible for my happiness." Beckett said, tears rolling down her cheeks by the time she was done.

Castle sensed that she was done, so he placed a kiss to her temple before clearing his throat.

"Hi Mrs. Beckett. I'm Richard Castle. I heard you were a fan. I never got the chance to meet you, but judging by the fact that you have a daughter too extraordinary for words, I am positive that you were a remarkable woman. You would be so proud of the woman Kate has become. I'm proud of her. There isn't a day that goes by where she doesn't blow me away. She's made me a better man. When I first met her, it was no secret that she absolutely despised me, but luckily I got my head out of my ass and it's all because of her. She showed me what's really important in life. She gave me the opportunity to really make a difference in the world and I can't thank her enough for that. I promise you that I'm going to do everything I can to keep her safe and make sure she is happy for as long as she will let me. I'm hoping for forever because she is my everything. I guess I have you to thank for that. Thank you for bringing such a remarkable woman into this world. It's truly a better place because of her. I hope to see you again someday, but if I don't it was a pleasure meeting you and I'm glad Kate trusts me enough to share this with her."

When Castle was done, he tightened his hold on Kate, hoping to show her that he meant every word of what he said.

Castle could tell by how tense her body was that she was trying to hold back her tears, but he didn't want that. He didn't want her to have to hide her emotions from him so he loosened his grip on her as he grabbed her legs and pulled her fully into his lap so her head was resting on his shoulder, her face in the crook of his neck.

"Let it go Kate. You don't have to hide from me." He whispered into her ear, placing a soft kiss to her temple.

He could tell the moment she let go. Her whole body relaxed and he could feel the wetness from her tears on his neck.

He just sat there, rubbing small circles on the small of her back as he rocked, whispering reassuring words into her hair.

They sat there like that for about ten minutes before Castle felt her breathing even out as she sat up. He reached up to wipe the tears of her cheek before placing a kiss to the tip of her nose.

"Better?" he asked.

Kate just nodded as she took a shaky breath.

"Thank you. For everything. For coming with me today, for what you just said, everything you have ever done. Thank you." she said.

"Always Kate. I will be here for you everyday for the rest of our lives unless you tell me to go." Castle said with all the sincerity in the world.

Kate just shook her head. "Never. I'll never want you to go. Even if I tell you I want you to go, even if I run, don't let me go. Never let me go."

A year ago, Castle would have thought she was saying it out of vulnerability. A year ago, if she told him to go, he would, if she ran, he would let her. But now, as he looked into Kate's eyes, searching, all he saw was love. Pure, unrestrained love for him and it made his decision easy.

"I promise. I will fight for you every day for the rest of my life. You are mine and I am yours and I'm never going to let that change.

* * *

**A/N:** This chapter took me most of the day. It was such an important chapter and I didn't want anything less than perfect. I so hope I did it justice!

So how about that promo for Still? Anyone else going to be a blubbering mess like I'm sure to be? Haha

P.S. I have all the major events that are going to happen planned out. Like holidays and cases that are going to move their relationship forward. However, I need some small ideas on how to fill the gaps. Any ideas?

Enjoy! And please review!


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35:

_Kate just shook her head. "Never. I'll never want you to go. Even if I tell you I want you to go, even if I run, don't let me go. Never let me go." _

_A year ago, Castle would have thought she was saying it out of vulnerability. A year ago, if she told him to go, he would, if she ran, he would let her. But now, as he looked into Kate's eyes, searching, all he saw was love. Pure, unrestrained love for him and it made his decision easy. _

"_I promise. I will fight for you every day for the rest of my life. You are mine and I am yours and I'm never going to let that change."_

After a few moments of silence passed, Kate snuggled back into his arms, letting out a content sigh as he wrapped his arms around her tightly, enveloping her in warmth as he leaned back so her body was stretched along his.

A comfortable silence surrounded them, and while Castle's word were usually a comfort to her, she found that for once, she was more than okay with being left to her own thoughts.

As five minutes turned into ten, and ten minutes turned into twenty, Kate felt Castle's breathing even out as he succumbed to the exhaustion of the day and as she laid their wrapped in his arms she couldn't help but think how completely undeserving she was to even have the chance to be lying here with him.

I mean look at what she'd done.

She knew he had feelings for her and she would be lying if she denied that she knew she had feelings for him too, yet she still got together with Demming and a large part of that was simply to drive Castle crazy. Even when she saw how much it was hurting him to see her with another man, she still stayed with Demming to the point where Castle had actually left. Yet he still came back, granted it had been three months later without a single call or email, but he still came back even when she had given him every reason not to.

Then she went and did it again, this time with Josh. Sure, when she first got together with Josh, she thought they actually had a chance, but she should have ended things the second she realized they didn't have a chance. But she didn't because she figured as long as she was in a relationship with Josh, she wouldn't have to face her feelings for Castle. She didn't miss the fact that Castle would make himself scarce whenever Josh came around or the flash of hurt in his eyes every time he called. She didn't miss his undeniable anger when he learned that Josh was across the world or taking on an extra shift and not there to comfort her when she needed it and then the pained look that followed when he wanted to be the one to be there for her, but couldn't because it wasn't his place. Despite his best efforts to hide it, it didn't escape her notice that the usual twinkle was no longer present in his eyes. She didn't miss the fact that he seemed thinner like he hadn't been eating or the fact that there were bags under his eyes like he wasn't a stranger to sleepless nights. It broke her heart knowing that she was the reason, that she was the reason he was in so much pain. Yet, she still went home with another man every night even when she knew she would rather be going home with him. It had taken him jumping in front of a bullet for her to realize what she had done, for her to realize how strong her feelings for him truly were. But she still ran. Despite the fact that he had proven to her time and time again that he wouldn't, she thought that once he realized how broken she truly was, he would leave, so she beat him to the punch. But once again, he was there.

She didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve a chance. She gave him every reason to hate her and every reason to walk away, but he never did and as she sat there wrapped in his arms she knew that there was no place she would rather be and while she may not understand it, she was glad he never gave up.

Kate had been so lost in thought that she didn't notice the sky quickly darkening until the shrill crack of thunder shook her out of her thoughts.

Glancing at her father's watch, she was surprised to see that they had been lying there for close to three hours.

When another clap of thunder rolled through the sky, this time much closer than the last, Beckett decided it was time to get going.

When she tried to sit up, Castle tightened his arms around her as he mumbled something unintelligible into her hair.

Any other time, she would have been happy to snuggle back up to him for another couple of hours, but another clap of thunder quickly pushed those thoughts out of her mind.

"Castle." She said quietly.

"Castle!" she said a little louder.

When he just snuggled closer, she let out a frustrated sigh before getting a devious smile on her face.

Stretching out her body she leaned up, softly placing a kiss to his lips before moving down to trail a string of kisses along his jaw line before settling next to his ear.

"Castle." She purred in his ear.

When he stirred a little, she knew her plan was working.

"Castle." She purred again as she ran her hand down his chest. "Its time to wake up Castle." She purred before stringing another line of kisses down his jaw.

'Mmmmm. Kate." Castle mumbled pulling her into him as he wavered between consciousness and sleep.

"Come on Castle, time to wake up." She said before finding his lips.

At first his lips were still beneath hers, but after a few minutes she felt him begin to respond. She didn't intend for this kiss to go anywhere, she was just trying to wake him up, but when she went to pull away, Castle followed, tangling his hands in her hair to deepen the kiss. When his tongue gently stroked her bottom lip, begging for entrance, she granted it. When his tongue found hers, she no longer cared that they were probably about five minutes away from getting soaked. Her whole body was on fire, buzzing with pleasure, and the only that mattered to her at the moment was getting as close as possible to Castle.

Castle seemed to have the same idea as he rolled them over so he was settled in between her legs, swallowing her gasp of surprise as he did so. Quickly recovering, she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him into her so that his obvious arousal hit her in the right place, causing her back to arch as a moan escaped her lips.

With an animalistic growl, Castle broke the kiss, immediately attacking her neck which caused Kate to gasp in pleasure as she involuntarily roller her hips as she tightened her hold on him with her legs.

Unfortunately, at that precise moment, there was a loud crack of lightening, followed by booming thunder before the sky opened up into a downpour.

Castle quickly sprang into action, quickly jumping up from their spot on the ground before reaching down to help her up. Castle, unsure what to do, made a split second decision, quickly sweeping her up so she was thrown over his shoulder like a sack of flower before he took off on a run towards a nearby pavilion.

Beckett prided herself on her independence. If any other guy tried to carry her, she would be beyond pissed, but she was pretty sure that Castle looked like a fool right now and the images that accompanied that thought made her burst out laughing.

When he finally set her down on her feet, he seemed to realize that she was laughing and the confused look on his face made her laugh even harder.

"What?" he asked.

"You looked like a fool running across the cemetery like that." She gasped as she tried to catch her breath.

"Oh very funny." He said sarcastically even as he broke into a smile.

"You poor baby." She said, briefly kissing him once again before grabbing his hand.

"C'mon writer boy, we can't keep your daughter waiting." She said as she pulled him back into the rain towards the line of cabs parked on the street. "After all, she is the only reason I am in this relationship." She said with a smirk before she took off towards the cabs, her laughter ringing through the air the whole time.

Castle scowled before he smiled as he took off after her catching up with her right before she got to the car, wrapping his arms around her waist, spinning her in a circle before setting her down.

"As long as I get to do this," he said as he brought his lips to meet hers, "then I have no problems with you using me to get to my daughter."

"I think that is a fair deal." Beckett said with a smile, sliding into the cab.

"Let's go home, detective." Castle said, giving the directions to his loft to the cab driver.

Beckett just smiled.

Home. She liked the sound of that.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. It was giving me some issues:)

Anyway, I have all the major plots for this story planned out, but I think it would be fun if I added some fun, one shots in between the major plot lines so if you have any one shot ideas that you would like to see in this story let me know:)

Enjoy!


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36:

"Alexis! We're home." Castle yelled as he opened the door, dropping his keys into the bowl on the small table next to the door.

When Alexis didn't answer he tried again, "Alexis?" he yelled as he helped Beckett out of her coat before shrugging out of his, hanging them up in the closest.

When there was still no answer, Castle began to worry. Alexis didn't text him to tell him she was going any where so logically due to the amount of his time spent with the NYPD, his mind started running through worse case scenarios.

However, his worries were quickly pushed out of his mind when he walked into the kitchen to see Alexis perched on one of the stools, headphones in, book lying open on the counter.

With a smirk, Castle turned to Beckett motioning for her to be quiet as he snuck up on his daughter from behind, wrapping her in what looked like a very tight and very wet hug.

"Dad!" Alexis yelped in surprise, jumping out of the chair and out of his grasp. "You're all wet! And so are you Kate! Why are you all wet?"

"We got stuck in a rainstorm." Kate said.

Alexis turned to her father, eyebrows raised and arms crossed. "So, you decided that just because you got wet that you could get me wet too?"

"In my defense, I did call you twice; you can even ask Kate1 It's not my fault that I had to resort to alternate measures." Castle said innocently knowing there were plenty of other things he could have done to get her attention.

Alexis turned to Kate, obviously wondering whether or not Castle was telling the truth.

"I have no idea what he is talking about. I was standing right next to him and heard nothing." Beckett replied as she tried to hide her smirk.

"Kaaaatteeeee!" Castle practically whined.

"Don't whine Castle, now go get me some dry clothes." She said.

Clearly realizing that he wasn't going to win this fight, Castle turned on his heels and made his way to his bedroom, mumbling something about women gaining up on him all the time.

"So how did you two manage to get stuck in a rainstorm that left you THAT soaked? I thought you were going to the precinct and then to lunch with your dad. The last time I checked that was all inside." Alexis wondered as she settled back down in her seat.

"We did, but after lunch with my dad, we went to the cemetery to see my mom. We ended up falling asleep and neither of us noticed the storm coming in until it was too late." She answered. It wasn't a complete lie, but there was no way she was telling Alexis that the main reason they hadn't noticed the approaching storm was because they were making out like horny teenagers.

"You took him to your mom's grave?" Alexis asked, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah." Beckett replied, unsure why the young redhead was so surprised.

"I'm glad." Alexis finally said.

"You are?" Beckett asked, equally surprised and confused.

"I am. I was here when my dad came home that day Ryan and Esposito explained to him about how you never brought anyone to your mom's grave. I was confused when he came home early and seemed upset so I asked him why he wasn't with you. He explained that you had gone to your mom's grave and taken the day off. At first I thought he was just moping because he wouldn't have anything to do anymore, but he usually shook it off pretty quickly. When I came back downstairs after getting ready for school, he hadn't moved. He was still sitting there… upset. I asked him what was wrong and all he said was 'she's alone. No one should have to go through that alone.' I didn't understand at first, but it was the same every time. I think it killed him knowing that you were alone. It was clear how he felt about you and it was clear that he just wanted to be there for you, but he knew that wasn't something he could ask for no matter how close the two of you got. He knew that the only way he would ever go to your mom's grave was if you asked him on your own to come with him. So I think the fact that you asked him to come with you, means a lot more to him than you could ever imagine." Alexis said.

"I can see why he freaked out then." Beckett said, still a little lost for words. It gave her butterflies knowing he was upset on those days too, not because she never asked him or because there was nothing for him to do at the precinct, but because he had wanted to be there for her. She felt stupid for never asking him to come. She wasn't going to lie, as they got closer, there had been numerous times she had wanted to ask him to come with her, but at the last second she had always chickened out, not knowing whether or not she really wanted to let him into that part of her life or not. Now she was sitting here finding out that he wanted to be there for her, just like he wanted to be there for her with everything else.

"He freaked out?" Alexis asked pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, after I told him I wanted him to meet my mom, we were in the cab and he was really quiet, which of course raised red flags because he is never quiet, so I asked him what was wrong and he was freaking out because he knew how big a deal it was to me and he couldn't figure out why I would bring him." Beckett said.

"Yeah, he always assumed you would bring someone else if you ever decided to bring someone." Alexis said.

"Yeah, he said the same thing. Anyway! What are you reading?" she asked Alexis.

"Calculus. I have a test tomorrow and I really want to keep my grades up seeing as how I will be getting college acceptance letters." Alexis said.

"I remember when I got my college acceptance letters. Do you know where you want to go?" Beckett asked. She knew Alexis had applied to basically every top school in the country and even some overseas, but the last time she knew, she hadn't narrowed it down to where she actually wanted to go.

"I'm really hoping Stanford." Alexis said.

"How's your dad feel about that?" Beckett asked, knowing the answer.

"He's not too fond of the idea of me being across the country, but I'm pretty sure if he had it his way he would never let me leave the loft in the first place." Alexis said, a bit of bitterness in her voice. They have obviously had this conversation before.

"He's just going to miss you. It's been the two of you for a long time and it's going to take some getting used to, but he'll eventually get over it. Do you know what you want to study?" Beckett asked.

"Not really. I was thinking about social work, but I really love my work with Lanie so I'm not sure if I am going to pursue something in that field, especially because my internship would help a lot!" Alexis said.

"Well whatever you chose, I'm sure you will be great at it." Beckett said.

"What will she be great at?" Castle asked from somewhere behind them. Turning in the direction of his voice, Beckett saw he had changed into some flannel pajamas and a white t-shirt that hugged his chest in all the right ways. It really wasn't fair that he has been hiding all of that for so long.

"We were talking about college. I told her she would be good at whatever she decided to major in." Beckett said, taking the stack of clothes Castle handed her.

"Ah yes. I have been trying to convince her to join the circus, but apparently she hasn't realized her true potential yet." Castle said, kissing his daughter on the head.

"I don't know Castle," she said making her way to his bedroom, "I think you are the one that belongs in the circus. You would have some great potential as a circus freak." She finished with a smirk, closing the door to him pretending to pull a knife out of his heart.

When Beckett reemerged from the bedroom, wearing a pair of Castle's sweat pants and an old t-shirt she was happy to find smelled like him, she found Castle and Alexis still sitting at the counter.

She would never get used to the way Castle's entire face lit up every time he saw her. She had barely been gone for ten minutes, but the way his face lit up when he saw her taking a seat on the stool next to Alexis, you would think it had been months since they've seen each other.

"So Castle, what's for dinner?" she asked.

"I'm glad you asked Detective." Castle said as a goofy grin spread across his face as he looked at Alexis.

"We decided it was time." Alexis added, an equally goofy grin spreading across her face.

"Time for what?" Beckett asked, glancing between the two Castle's, unsure of what she got herself into.

"Should I tell her or do you want to?" Castle asked Alexis.

"You can tell her." Alexis replied.

"We decided it is time for… drum roll please!" Castle asked as Alexis immediately began a drum roll on the counter top.

"Homemade pizza, Castle style!"

* * *

**A/N:** Lol this idea came to me about five lines up. I'm excited to write it, it's going to be fun;)

Enjoy! And please review. I have no idea if I am doing things right if I don't know how you guys feel about it!

Once again: I want to fill this story with one shots in the middle of the major events so if you have any ideas like this pizza night, let me know and I will do my best to include them in the story:)


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37:

"_So Castle, what's for dinner?" she asked. _

"_I'm glad you asked Detective." Castle said as a goofy grin spread across his face as he looked at Alexis. _

"_We decided it was time." Alexis added, an equally goofy grin spreading across her face. _

"_Time for what?" Beckett asked, glancing between the two Castle's, unsure of what she got herself into. _

"_Should I tell her or do you want to?" Castle asked Alexis. _

"_You can tell her." Alexis replied. _

"_We decided it is time for… drum roll please!" Castle asked as Alexis immediately began a drum roll on the counter top. _

"_Homemade pizza, Castle style!" _

"And what exactly is Castle style pizza?" Beckett asked Castle.

"I could tell you, but it would scare you off." Castle said, bouncing on his feet like a nine year old on a sugar rush.

Kate shot a questioning look at Alexis, hoping she would give her more of a glue of what was going on.

"You won't regret it." Alexis said, sensing the detectives hesitation.

Looking back at Castle, she took her time in answering, pretending to seriously think it over.

"Pleassseeee Kateeeeee!" Castle whined.

"Alright. Let's do it." Beckett said with a huge smile at the pure looks of joy on her two companion's faces.

"Alexis get the blindfold!" Castle ordered.

"Wait! Blindfold?" Beckett asked a little worried as the redhead bounded across the room into Castle's office.

"Don't worry. It's just temporary while we get everything set up. We will take it off as soon as we do, but when I came up with this idea when Alexis was little, I blindfolded her while I set it up and I'll never forget the look on her face when she realized what was involved so we decided that if we ever let someone join us with Castle style pizza nights, they had to be blindfolded for the first time." Castle said as the smile he got whenever he was remembering something about Alexis broke out across his face.

"What? Did everyone else run away when they saw what you were up to?" Beckett asked with a smirk, knowing that most people found Castle quite over-whelming.

"Actually, no. I came up with the idea to cheer Alexis up after I had to tell her that Meredith wasn't coming back so it has always been her thing therefore she got to decide who she wanted to include. She's never had the desire to let anyone join us until you." Castle said, glowing with admiration.

Beckett's eyes went wide, as she clenched her jaw. She suddenly wished she was anywhere, but there. This was something Alexis and Castle did. She shouldn't be here, not for something this important.

Castle, sensing an upcoming panic attack which would surely be followed by Kate making a quick exit with some fake excuse about a murder or something, he acted quickly.

"Hey. Take a deep breath." he said bringing his hand up to her cheek, slowly caressing it with his thumb.

Kate closed her eyes, melting into the warmth of his hand.

"I shouldn't be here." She mumbled with a sigh.

"Hey, look at me. Kate, look at me." Castle said, waiting until she opened her beautiful green eyes before continuing.

"She wants you here. I suggested we order take out, but she asked if we could do this instead. She wants you to be a part of this which means that you should be here, okay?"

"I don't want to mess this up." Kate said, the vulnerability shining in her eyes.

"You can't. I promise. We are just making pizza." Castle said.

Beckett was about to answer, but at that moment Alexis came skipping back into the room with a big smile on her face.

When she saw the look on her face, her smile dropped and she immediately became worried.

"Kate… if you don't want to do this, we can just order Chinese or something." She said, trying to mask her hurt.

With a glance at Castle she took a deep breath.

"Nuh-uh. You promised me Castle style pizza and I am not leaving here until I get it." She said as she took the blindfold and handed it to Castle. "Tie me up Castle."

Castle just smirked as he walked around the back of the chair, placing the blind fold over her eyes tying it snuggly so she couldn't see, but not enough that it would hurt.

"You know, I've always had fantasies about tying you up, but I never expected it to be because we were making pizza." He whispered in her ear, sending a noticeable shiver down her spine.

As he walked away to go help Alexis get the ingredients out, it was with a smirk.

He loved knowing he affected her as much as she affected him.

It was about twenty minutes later when Kate felt the warmth radiating off of Castle's body letting her know he was standing behind her again.

"Everything ready Alexis?" Castle asked his daughter who putting the last of the ingredients on the counter.

"Ready." Alexis said after she placed the last item on the corner of the counter.

Beckett felt Castle reach up to untie the blindfold. When it was pulled from her eyes she kept them closed for a minute before opening them.

Beckett's jaw dropped at the sight before her.

The counter was filled with every ingredient you could ever think of.

Sure there were your standard cheese, pepperoni, sausage, onions, peppers, all the regular pizza toppings, but then there were chocolate sauces, whipped cream, sprinkles, and basically every type of candy you could think of.

It almost looked like they went to the store and picked up every kind of topping they could find.

When she finally tore her eyes away from the sight before her to look at Alexis and Castle, they were both standing there with huge grins on their face, obviously waiting for her reaction.

"I thought we were making pizza?" she finally said.

Alexis and Castle just laughed.

"We are." Alexis said.

"Then what's with all the… sweets?"

"That's what makes this Castle style." Castle said with a huge grin.

"Okay dad, I think you've teased her enough. Now explain." Alexis said, shaking her head at her dad.

"Fiinneee. Its almost like truth or dare. First, we make an actual pizza with actual pizza ingredients. Simple enough. The fun part is the second pizza. The objective is to make the craziest pizza with everything, but actual pizza ingredients and then everyone has to try everyone else's creation." Castle said with the smug look on his face he gets when he thinks he is a genius.

"Wow Castle, you really are a 9-year old." Beckett said with a smirk.

"You wound me, detective." Castle said, a mock hurt expression on his face.

"Okay, just one question before we start. How did you come up with this idea?" Beckett asked.

"It was after the invention of my great smorlette. I wanted to find other ways to use dessert toppings on regular food and I came up with this. The first time we made it, it was just really a dessert pizza, but then we added the contest portion to it and it took off from there. Isn't it great?" Castle asked.

"Whatever you say Castle." Beckett smirked.

Castle narrowed his eyes momentarily before his smile returned.

"Alright ladies! Let's make some pizza!"

* * *

**A/N:** Somehow, I can actually picture Castle doing this. That man and his sweets. Lol

So how about that promo for "The Squab and the Quill" Thoughts?

Enjoy! And please review!


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38:

"_Alright Ladies! Let's make some pizza!" _

"Um, Castle. Do you see a problem?" Beckett asked.

Castle looked at her and then to the counter in front of him thinking he forgot something.

"No?" he said once he was satisfied that he indeed didn't forget anything.

"There's barely enough room here to make one pizza let alone three." She said.

"Oh." Castle said with a frown on his face as he assessed the problem. He immediately went to work shuffling things around, trying to make more room. When he did everything he could, there was enough room for two people, but there was no way they were getting three there.

"It's okay. You and Dad can take the counter, I'll make mine on the table." Alexis said.

"Oh no! This is you and your dad's thing, you take the counter with him, I'll take the table." Kate said quickly.

"Kate, it's okay really. I've done this thousands of times with dad, now its your turn. Really, I insist." Alexis said with a laugh.

"You sure?" Kate asked hesitantly.

"Positive." Alexis said, grabbing her portion of the ingredients necessary for making her pizza before heading over to the table, leaving Castle and Kate at the counter.

Kate was busy rolling out her dough, when she noticed Castle pick up his dough and toss it over his head like you see in the movies.

When he tossed it again, she couldn't help but laugh.

Castle, being startled by the sound of Kate laughing, took his eyes of his dough for a split second too long to glance her way and the next thing he knew, his face was covered in dough causing Kate to break out into hysterical laughter all over again.

Castle was about to reach up to peel off the dough when Kate grabbed his arm.

"Wait a second." She said through fits of laughter.

She reached over to the many bowls of ingredients and grabbed some pepperoni. She then placed two pieces where his eyes she be, one where his nose was, and a line of the round circles where is mouth was, essentially creating a smiley face.

"Alexis, come look at this." she said as she took out her phone to snap some pictures.

"He tried to spin it above his head didn't he?" Alexis said as she looked at her father with amusement.

"Yeah, has he done it before?" she asked as she watched Castle peel the dough off his face.

"He's never ended it up with it on his face, but one day I came downstairs to take a break from studying and I found him standing on a chair peeling dough off the ceiling. Apparently he got a little too enthusiastic and through it a little too high and well you can figure out the rest. Anyway, it's a general rule that we don't leave him unattended when he's cooking. Otherwise we might come home one day to find the apartment burned down." Alexis said as Kate burst out laughing.

"Hey! First of all, I can hear you. Second of all, I don't need a babysitter. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!" Castle said pouting.

Beckett and Alexis just laughed.

"Castle I can't leave you alone for two seconds without you getting into some sort of trouble. Even when I handcuff you to the car, you somehow end up in danger." Beckett said raising her eyebrows.

"You handcuffed him to your car?" Alexis asked, an amused grin on her face.

"I did. The first time I told him to stay in the car he didn't listen, so the next time we went to a crime scene, I handcuffed him to my car, but somehow he still got lose and went running after our suspect." Beckett said.

"Wow dad." Alexis said turning to her father.

"Hey! I would like to point out that if it wasn't for me that suspect would have gotten away." He said pointing a finger at Beckett.

"I would like to point out that he was going to shoot you." Beckett said.

"The safety was on the whole time. I just figured I'd make things easier for you and get a confession. But that's not the point. The point is I don't need supervision in my own house. I know how to behave." Castle said.

"Dad, the last time we left you alone for more than a couple hours you managed to put your remote control helicopter through the television and you looked like a smurf." Alexis pointed out.

"It was research!" Castle said.

"Research?" Beckett asked. She knew Castle tended to blame his weird antics on being for research, but most of the time they weren't.

"Remember that case we had with the exploding ink packs?" he asked Beckett.

Beckett nodded.

"Yeah, well lets just say I was trying to figure out different ways for it to go off and I kind of accidently triggered one." Castle said sheepishly.

"He had a blue tint to his skin for days." Alexis added.

"Okay! I get it I get into trouble on occasions, now can we get back to making pizza? I'm hungry." Castle said with a pout.

Alexis walked back to the table with a laugh.

"Poor baby." Beckett said, patting his cheek before turning back to her own pizza to pile on her toppings.

Castle couldn't take his eyes off Beckett the whole time. He loved when she was so carefree. She hasn't stopped smiling all night and he loved it.

Ten minutes later, Castle had placed all of their regular pizza's in the oven and now were all beginning their fun one.

Kate was working on her pizza, contemplating what was supposed to go next, when Castle walked around her to grab something off the counter and as he passed his hand grazed across her ass. When her head shot up to glare at him, he looked completely oblivious so she assumed it was an accident. That was until he came back again, and brushed against her again, this time giving a little squeeze, making her yelp.

"Everything alright, detective?" Castle asked with an innocent smile on his face, but he couldn't fool her, she saw the twinkle in his eyes that told her he knew exactly what he was doing.

Two could play at that game.

"Nope. Everything is fine." She said, turning back to her pizza.

She let a couple minutes pass before she reached for a cherry, making sure he was watching, before she brought it to her lips, making sure her tongue swirled around it a few times before plucking it off the stem.

"Something wrong, Castle?" she asked him as he stood there jaw slack, eyes a couple shades darker.

"Uh, umm, no." He choked averting his gaze back to his pizza.

Beckett just smirked, glad she caught him off guard.

They fell back into silence, working on their respective pizzas.

A short while later, Beckett glanced over to see that Castle had some chocolate on his thumb. When he went to bring it up to his mouth, Beckett reached out and grabbed his wrist, bringing his hand to her lips before she took his thumb into her mouth, twirling her tongue around his thumb a few times, never breaking eye contact as she licked the chocolate off before releasing his hand and turning back to her pizza like nothing happened.

Distracted with spreading her chocolate sauce around, she didn't notice Castle disappear from besides her until she felt his breath skate over her neck.

"You're playing with fire, detective." He whispered into her ear as he pressed his very obvious arousal into her back side.

She licked the chocolate remnants from her fingers before turning around to face him with raised eyebrows. A silent challenge.

By now the usual blue of Castle's eyes had been replaced by the dark color of arousal.

"You've got a little something on her your face." He said darting his gaze to little dot of chocolate on the side of her lip.

Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips, tongue darting out to lick off the chocolate.

"Mmmm, you taste good." Castle said pressing her back into the counter.

She was so caught up in their close proximity and the her own arousal pooling between her legs, that she didn't notice him reach behind her and grab the whipped cream can until he had taken a step back, squirting some whipped cream on her nose with a smirk.

Beckett stood there shocked for a moment before she too broke out into a smirk as she reached behind her, dipping her hands into the chocolate before smearing it down his cheeks.

She broke out into laughter at the look on his face.

"You got chocolate on my face!" he said looking at her with bewilderment.

"Yeah, well you got whipped cream on mine." She said as she wiped the whipped cream off with a towel.

When Castle reached out for a towel, she stepped forward. "Here let me help you with that." She said stepping towards him. But instead of using the towel, she leaned forward and licked the chocolate off one cheek before moving to the next.

When she leaned back, their lips were inches apart and it seemed like time stopped before she was being pushed into the counter, his lips crashing down on hers.

When she gasped in surprise, he used to his advantage, deepening the kiss immediately, his tongue running over the top of her mouth.

When she wrapped her arms around his neck, in attempts to get closer to him, he picked her up setting her on the counter, her legs wrapped around his torso.

The timer chose to go off at that moment however, breaking them out of their frenzy.

"Ew! Dad! Really? On the counter where we are making dinner?" Alexis said as she came into the kitchen.

"Sorry pumpkin." He said, helping Kate down before pulling the pizza's out of the oven setting them on the counter, replacing them with Alexis's very elaborate experimental pizza accompanied by Kate and his quite pathetic ones.

"Well, let's eat!" he said as he closed the door to the oven.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39:

The three of them sat around the table talking and enjoying their pizza.

Unsurprisingly, Castle was the only one of the three who actually liked their dessert pizzas, even going back for seconds.

When they were all done they all worked together to clean up the kitchen.

"Do you guys want to watch a movie?" Alexis asked.

"Sounds good to me." Kate said.

"I'll get the popcorn!" Castle said.

"How can you still want to eat?" Beckett asked.

"Yeah, really dad. I'm stuffed." Alexis said as she walked towards the living room to pick out a movie, Kate following and sitting down on the couch.

Alexis popped in a DVD and made herself comfortable on the floor in front of the couch.

Castle came into the room, carrying two glasses of wine, handing one to Beckett before sitting down next to her, pleased when Beckett immediately curled into his side.

"What are we watching?" Castle asked Alexis.

"Wreck-it-Ralph." She replied. "I know it's kind of a kid movie, but I heard it's cute and funny so I figured why not. Plus it's the appropriate age group for dad."

"Hey!" Castle said as Kate laughed.

"She's got a point, Castle." Beckett said patting his chest.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean she has to say anything." He said sticking out his bottom lip in a pout.

"You'll live." She said snuggling closer to him.

They all fell silent as the movie began.

About half way through the movie, Kate felt Rick's hand slide lower, running his thumb over a patch of exposed skin, causing her to take a sharp intake of breath. Rick just chuckled stilling his movement but keeping his hand where it was.

About ten minutes later, she felt his movements slowly pick up again and had to suppress a gasp when his hand dipped beneath the waistband of her jeans.

She tried to pay attention to the movie, but the sensations running through her body from his touch were causing her mind to go blank.

When it was clear that he wasn't going to stop, she decided that if he was going to torture her, she was going to torture him too.

Dragging her hand down his chest, she snuck it under the hem of his shirt before running her hands back up to his chest, running slow, light circles over it. Bringing her hand back down her chest, she kept going, running her hand over his erection, satisfied when he gave a slight gasp when she squeezed before moving down his thigh, running her hand up and down continuously making sure she brushed his arousal every so often.

When the movie ended, Alexis bid them both good night before heading up to her room.

"You're evil." Castle growled into her ear.

"Don't start the fire if you can't handle the heat." Beckett said slowly dragging her hand up his chest causing him to shudder.

"Oh I can handle the heat." He growled as he grabbed her and flipped her onto her back, letting out a squeak that quickly turned into a moan as he rolled his hips causing his arousal to hit her in all the right places.

Unable to stand it anymore, she pulled his lips down to meet hers, instantly shoving her tongue into his mouth as she rolled her hips against his, causing him to moan, which caused her hips to involuntarily roll again.

"God Kate…" he growled as he attacked her neck.

Tilting her neck she gave him better access to what he wanted and couldn't help the moan that escaped when he started to suck on her pulse point.

His hands found their way up her shirt, skirting up her sides, swiping his thumb across one of her nipples causing her back to arch before he cupped her breast giving it a light squeeze.

"Rick. Bedroom. Now." She gasped through another moan when he rolled his hips against her.

As they made their way to the bedroom, Rick crowded up behind her, reaching around her, grabbing both her breasts, rolling her nipples in between his thumb and pointer finger which caused her back to arch and her ass to press into his erection as he resumed his attack on her neck.

When they got to the bedroom, Rick turned to shut the door and lock it before shoving her up against the door, bringing his lips to hers once again as his hands resumed their exploration of her body. Reaching down he grabbed one of her legs, bringing her leg up around his waist before thrusting his hips into her once again causing her to gasp in pleasure.

Rick broke the kiss and went to work on her shirt, unbuttoning it and throwing it aside before he attacked her neck again this time making his way down her neck, to her collarbone, until he reached her breasts, taking her nipple into his mouth through the fabric of her bra while kneading the other one with his hand.

Kate was just about to start unbuttoning his shirt when her phone started to ring.

Castle groaned, resting his head on her forehead as she reached into her pocket to extract her phone.

"Beckett."

* * *

**A/N:** hahahaha! I bet you guys totally thought they were going to get it on. But let's face it, it's not a Castle story if they don't get copblocked a few times:P

Hope you enjoyed!


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40:

Twenty minutes later, Castle and Beckett pulled up to the crime scene both incredibly frustrated that they had been interrupted.

Ducking under the crime scene tape, they were met by Esposito and Ryan.

"You guy's showing up at crime scenes together?" Esposito said with a smirk on his face.

"Hope we didn't interrupt anything." Ryan added with the same smirk.

When Beckett shot them a look daring them to say anything else, they immediately turned to Castle, knowing he would give them the details, but he had a similar look on his face before taking off after Beckett.

"Dude, what's up with them?" Ryan asked as he watched the retreating backs of the duo.

"No idea bro, no idea." Esposito said before turning back to finish what he was working on when they came in.

"What do you got for me Lanie?" Beckett asked as she approached the ME bent over a dead body.

"Twenty-two year old Caucasian female, ligature marks around the neck suggest strangulation as C.O.D. but I can't be sure until I get her back to the lab." Lanie said as she pointed to the red mark around her victim's neck.

"Time of death?" Beckett asked as she jotted down notes.

"Liver temp suggests somewhere between nine and twelve, but I can give you a more exact time when I get the chance to take a closer look at her," Said the ME.

"Any signs of struggle?" Castle asked.

"There's nothing on the body that suggests it." Lanie told him.

"That means she knew the victim, boyfriend or ex-boyfriend." Castle suggested as he turned to Beckett.

"Maybe. Let me know when you know anything more Lanie." Beckett said as she turned towards the boys. "What do you got for me?"

"Vic is Rebecca King. She's a student at NYU, works part time at a local diner. Landlord said she moved in a couple years back. He's never had a problem with her, paid her rent on time, never had any problems with the neighbors. Tech found two wine glasses and take-out containers on her coffee table suggesting she had company this evening. We sent them to the lab to see if we can get any prints off of them." Esposito said.

"We've got a neighbor who said he was coming home the other day when he heard what sounded like yelling coming from the apartment before a male, short, brown hair, late twenties, stormed out of her apartment, slamming the door behind him. We have him coming in to meet with a sketch artist in the morning." Ryan added.

"Next of kin?" Beckett asked.

"Parents died a few years back. Her brother said he would be at the precinct in a couple of ours." Esposito said.

"Okay, head over to the campus and talk to her teachers, see if they noticed anything that seemed off or if they noticed her acting differently. Castle and I will head back to the precinct and talk to the brother while we wait for the sketch to come back from the neighbor." Beckett said.

"Got it." The boys said in unison.

With a final nod, Beckett and Castle made their way to the precinct to get to work.

They had a routine.

Beckett would go straight to the murder board to put the little information they had from the crime scene up and Castle would either head to the little café down the street or the break room, depending on the time, to get coffee. Anyone who knew Beckett knew she depended on her coffee to get through the day, especially the long ones that started at five in the morning and didn't end until after midnight. So when they exited the elevator he made a beeline for the break room knowing coffee was definitely needed, especially since neither of them had slept in almost 24 hours.

With two steaming cups of coffee, he made his way back into the bullpen, handing Beckett her coffee before perching himself on the edge of her desk to watch.

He knew Beckett would eventually ask him for a theory, so he studied the board, making sure he had his own theory ready, but his attention would never last long and his eyes would always end up on Beckett.

He loved watching Beckett when she was like this, when it was just her and the murder board, it was one of the first things he fell in love with about her.

He loved the way her eyebrows would scrunch together as she took in all the facts. He loved the way she would prop her elbow up on her other arm so she could chew on her thumb nail. He loved the way she would bite on her bottom lip when something either wasn't making sense or she was putting everything together.

It drove him crazy when she did that. The only thing he could ever think about was how badly he wanted to capture that lip in between his teeth, but never could.

As he sat there, slowly being driven crazy with the image of her biting on her lip, he suddenly realized that for the first time since he started shadowing her, he could actually do something about it.

Looking around to make sure they were still alone, he set his cup of coffee on her desk before walking up to her taking her cup of coffee and setting it on her desk too.

"Castle! What are you doing?" she asked.

He didn't answer, instead he snaked both arms around her waist before bring his lips to hers, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth, nipping it lightly with his teeth before pulling away and resting his forehead on hers.

"You have no idea how crazy you make me when you bite your lip like that." He said a little breathless.

When she let out a throaty laugh before biting her lip again, Castle let out a low growl before attacking her mouth again.

Castle had just run his tongue along her bottom lip begging for entrance when they heard the distant _ding_ signaling the arrival of the elevator.

By the time the doors opened and Esposito and Ryan came strolling out, Castle sitting in his chair next to Beckett's desk while Beckett was seated at her desk jotting down notes in the case file.

She looked up when she heard the guys approach her desk.

"Find anything?" she asked.

"Talked to her professors, none of them noticed anything different about her. Sat in the front row, staying quiet unless called upon like she always did, grades haven't changed at all either." Esposito said.

"We checked with the diner she works at, they don't open until nine so we will head over there in the morning." Ryan added.

"Alright. Well, Lanie isn't going to get to the autopsy until the morning, we won't get any results back from the lab, and the brother and neighbor aren't coming in until the morning so let's call it a night and get some sleep, be back here by 8." Beckett said as she stood up and grabbed her coat.

Unfortunately, Ryan and Esposito decided to wait for Castle and Beckett and they all took the elevator down to the parking garage together which meant Beckett was forced to head to her Crown Vic while Castle was forced to go hail a cab, both shooting each other disappointed looks at the fact that they wouldn't be able to go home together.

An hour later, Castle was still tossing and turning, unable to get to sleep because Kate wasn't there when he heard a soft knock on his door.

Making his way through the dark, he opened the door to find Beckett standing there, a duffel bag in hand.

"I think I was in bed for maybe ten minutes when I realized I wasn't getting any sleep without you there." She said.

"I couldn't sleep either." Castle said, taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom where they both climbed into bed.

When Castle got himself situated, Kate immediately snuggled into his chest, taking his arm and draping it over her waist.

"Good night Castle." She said, her voice already groggy with sleep.

"Good night Kate." Castle said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Neither of them had any trouble falling asleep.

* * *

**A/N: **These next few chapters are probably going to come in slower. I'm not very good with crimes, but its important that this one has the details so I want to make sure I get it right before I post it:)

24 hours until "The Squab and the Quill"! Can't wait.

Enjoy and Review!


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41:

When Beckett woke up the next morning, she immediately rolled over, seeking the warmth that should have been radiating from Castle, but instead her hand found nothing but cold sheets. Opening her eyes, she was disappointed to find that she was indeed alone.

Grabbing his pillow, she rolled over, hugging it to her chest, letting out a content sigh as a smile overtook her face.

She loved his smell.

If anyone ever asked she wouldn't be able to describe it. It was just Castle. Whenever she caught a whiff when Castle got too close, an overwhelming sense of calm would overtake her. The combination of his scent and the feeling of his strong arms as they surrounded her made her feel like she could never be hurt by anything ever again.

It was safe to say she could spend the rest of her life wrapped in his arms.

When she heard the sound of someone in the kitchen, probably Alexis getting ready for school, she decided it was probably time to get up and get ready for work.

Opening her eyes, she couldn't help it when her smile grew to the point where she probably looked like an idiot, but she didn't care because when she opened her eyes she was greeted by a beautiful arrangement of flowers with a note propped up against the vase, her name scribbled on it with Castle's unmistakable scribble.

Reaching out, she grabbed the note and flipped it open.

_Hey Beautiful,_

_Sorry I couldn't be there when you woke up, I had some things to take care of at Black Pawn so I figured I would let you sleep for a little bit longer. Plus I think it should be a crime to wake you up when you are sleeping, you're just too adorable to disturb. Anyway, I figured that you wouldn't want to go to work smelling like me so I took the liberty of getting you some things of your own. I don't know if its what you usually use, but I used my keen sense of smell and I think I did pretty darn well if I say so myself. So take a shower, eat some breakfast (you probably won't) and I'll meet you at the precinct at 8. _

_P.S. I'll bring coffee;)_

_Love, Rick. _

With a smile, Beckett threw back the covers on the bed and made her way into the bathroom.

Sure enough, sitting on the vanity were two bottles, shampoo and body wash, and a disposable razor. Her heart did a little flip when she realized that Castle managed to pick out the same exact brand she used at home.

Stripping out of her clothes, she grabbed her soaps and made her way into the shower. She thought she had a pretty nice shower at home, but Castle's shower proved otherwise.

Stepping into the shower, she found the nozzles to turn on the water and was pleasantly surprised when water came at her from all directions.

Looking around she saw that there were at least two nozzles on each wall of the shower. There was also a built in music system built into the shower. In one of the corners there was a seat and she noticed that it was placed at a very strategic height. She would have to remember that.

With a smirk and images of all the different ways they could utilize that seat, Beckett went back to her task.

Ten minutes later, Beckett turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a white, fluffy towel around her.

Walking over to the mirror, she wiped the condensation off with her hand and was surprised by what she saw.

The dark bags that are usually under her eyes were no longer present. She contributed that to the fact that whenever she was with Castle, she had no problems sleeping through the night which was something she was never able to do since her mom died.

But that wasn't what surprised her most. What surprised her most was that she looked as happy as she felt. She had what could only describe as a glow and her eyes were no longer clouded over with sadness, but twinkling with joy.

She was happy.

With a smile, she got dressed and applied her makeup before taking one last look at her reflection in the mirror before heading out of the loft and making her way to the precinct.

She just sat down at her desk when she heard the elevator doors open and the scent of coffee hit her nose.

Looking up, she saw Castle walk across the bullpen, two cups of coffee in hand, and a smile on his face.

"Good morning Detective!" Castle said handing her a coffee before walking around her to sit in his seat next to her desk.

As he passed her, he lightly ran his fingertips over the back of her neck, causing her to involuntarily shudder.

Judging by the fact that he had a smug smile on his face when he sat down, he knew exactly what his touch did to her.

"Shut up." She said, shooting him a glare.

As she turned back to her paperwork, she couldn't help but notice Castle was staring at her with an odd expression on his face. She tried to ignore it, but soon she was completely distracted by it.

"What?" she asked, turning to look at him.

"I so wish I could kiss you right now." He said completely serious.

"What?" she asked a little taken back.

"I couldn't kiss you good morning and I missed you. Now I've got to wait an entire day to kiss you again." He said as his eyes flicked back and forth between her lips and eyes.

She was just about to respond when the elevator dinged and Esposito and Ryan came strolling out.

"Morning boss." Esposito said.

"Morning. Did you guys get a chance to talk to her boss?" Beckett asked, ignoring the suspicious looks they were giving her and Castle. To be fair, he's never been at the precinct before them in the three and a half years he's been there.

"Boss said she quit a week ago. He never had any problems with her, she never had any problems with her coworkers, was a hard worker, always showed up on time, rarely called in sick and then she just up and quit." Ryan said.

"A coworker said she came in to pick up her last check a couple days ago, said there was someone in her car with her, but they couldn't get a good look at him." Esposito added.

"Alright. Check her financials and see if she was getting any source of income from somewhere else. She had rent and college payments to make so she needed money from somewhere. Castle and I will talk to the brother." She said nodding in the direction of the brother who just stepped off the elevator.

Esposito and Ryan nodded before heading off to do their respective tasks while Castle and Beckett stood to greet the brother.

"Hi. I'm Detective Kate Beckett. This is Richard Castle, he consults with the NYPD." She said extending her hand to shake his.

"I'm Joseph King. I got a call saying to come into the precinct as soon as I could. They said it was about my sister. Is something wrong? What happened?" he asked.

"Why don't we talk in here?" she said motioning to an empty conference room.

Joseph entered the room, sitting down on the couch followed by Beckett. Castle followed, closing the door quietly behind him before sitting down next to Beckett.

When Castle sat down next to her, she could feel the heat radiating off of him and she instantly felt relaxed. Telling the family was one of the hardest aspects of her job, but having Castle there gave her the strength she needed to get through it.

"Mr. King, I'm sorry to have to inform you that your sister was found killed I her apartment last night." Beckett began.

"Oh god." Joseph gasped as his face went pale.

"I'm sorry for your loss, I know how difficult it must be but we have a few question we need to ask you if that's alright?" Beckett continued.

Joseph just nodded.

"When's the last time you spoke with your sister?" Beckett asked as she took out her note book and flipped it open.

"I talked to her right before I left for my trip, probably about a week ago." Joseph said rubbing his hands over his face.

"Did anything seem out of the ordinary?" Beckett asked.

"No. We talked for a little while about her day, but then I had to leave. We made plans to have lunch when I got back. I called her a couple times sense then, but she never answered."

"Can you think of anyone who would possibly want to hurt your sister? Anyone she had problems with?" Castle asked.

"No. Everyone loved her. She had no problem making her way into people's heart."

"Okay." Beckett said. "Here is my card. If you remember anything else or need to talk don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you." Joseph said before leaving.

"You okay?" Castle asked Beckett.

"Yeah. Never gets any easier though." Beckett said.

"Well, I don't know if it helps, but if I ever had to receive news like that to me, I would hope it was from you. You actually care about the victims and I think in a way, that helps those who were left behind." Castle said, squeezing her hand.

"Thanks Castle. Come on, let's see if the boys found anything." Beckett said, heading back to her desk.

"Yo, boss. Nothing popped on the vic. No evidence she had any other jobs or source of income, but she never fell behind on any of her payments." Esposito said approaching her desk.

"The neighbor met with the sketch artist, we got a hit on the sketch. Ryan Tylers. We got uniforms bringing him in now." Ryan said.

"Alright. Thanks guys." Beckett said.

Ten minutes later Ryan Tylers was brought in and put in interrogation 1. Beckett stood up and led the way.

Castle followed close behind.

It was interrogation time.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42:

"Mr. Tylers. I'm Detective Beckett, this is Richard Castle. Do you know why you're hear today?" Beckett asked.

"Not a clue." Tylers said looking at the table in front of him.

"We have a witness that said they heard fighting coming from Rebecca King's apartment three days ago right before you left her apartment." Beckett said.

"So." Tylers said with a shrug.

"So," Castle said with a look at Beckett. "Rebecca was found murdered in her apartment."

This got Tylers attention. "Re-Rebecca's dead?" he asked, genuinely surprised.

Beckett was going to answer him when there was a knock on the door. Getting up, she disappeared out of the room momentarily before coming back in, holding a file.

"Mr. Tylers, where were you last night between nine and twelve?" Beckett asked, sitting down and opening the folder.

"I was at home." Tylers said.

"Oh really? Because there were wine glasses and take-out containers at the scene of the crime and your DNA and prints were all over them. Would you like to try again?" Beckett said giving him the look the could break criminals.

"Okay. I was there, but I left at 10:30 and she was alive when I left." Tylers said.

"What were you two fighting about?" Beckett asked.

"I found a duffle bag with a whole bunch of cash in it and I asked her where she got it. It wasn't there the last time I came over and I knew she quit her job so I got suspicious and when she wouldn't tell me where it came from I got angry, but we cleared things up last night. She told me she was just holding the money for a friend and she apologized." Tylers said.

"Okay, well we have enough to hold you so you're going to spend the night in holding." Beckett said as she stood up, gathering her things as uniforms came in to take Tylers away.

"So you think he did it?" Castle asked as they went back to her desk.

"Right now all the evidence suggests that he did, but I won't know for sure until we get more from Lanie. Right now we just have him at the scene of the crime, we don't have anything tying him to the actual murder." Beckett said as she began to fill in the new information on the murder board.

"Yo Beckett, Lanie called while you were in interrogation. She's got something for ya." Esposito said.

"Alright." Beckett said as she stood up, grabbed her coat and made her way to the elevator with Castle.

When the doors closed in the elevator and began its decent, Beckett turned and grabbed the lapels of Castle's jacket, pulling his lips to hers, immediately begging for entrance which Castle was more than happy to grant.

She only pulled away when the elevator began to slow signaling their arrival.

"What was that for?" Castle asked a little breathless.

"I didn't get to kiss you good morning either and I may have missed waking up with you just a little bit." Beckett said as she straightened his jacket.

"Just a little bit?" Castle asked wit a smirk on his face.

"Okay, maybe more than a little bit." Beckett said as she stepped off the elevator and made her way to the morgue.

Castle stood there frozen with a smile on his face, watching her walk away with what he could have sworn was an increase in the way her hips swayed side to side. He was broken out of his trance when the elevator doors began to close and he squeezed in between them, catching up with Beckett right as she entered the morgue.

"What do you got for me Lanie?" Beckett asked as she approached the ME.

"Would it kill you to say good morning or even just hi? It would never hurt to get a good morning Lanie how are you today?" Lanie said as she looked up at the approaching duo.

"Good morning Lanie, how are you doing today?" Castle asked, a smirk on his face.

"Cute Castle." Lanie said as she shook her head looking at her best friend. She was expecting to see a look of annoyance, but instead Beckett was looking at Castle, a glint in her eyes as she tried to suppress her smile. Interesting.

"I try." Castle said with a huge smile.

"Anyway, I have confirmed that cause of death is indeed strangulation. I found some fibers and preliminary test show that your murder weapon is some sort of leather, most likely a belt. I am hoping to narrow down the exact type of leather so I can get you a manufacturer. There are no signs of defensive wounds and I was able to narrow down time of death to between 11:15 and 11:30." Lanie said flipping the chart closed.

"We need to check Tylers alibi. If he was telling the truth, it would mean he wasn't the killer." Castle said turning to Beckett.

"Yeah." Beckett said running a hand through her hair in frustration. "Anything else Lanie?"

"Not at the moment. Anything you need to tell me?" she asked, looking between her and Castle.

"Nope." Beckett said, rolling her eyes as she walked toward the exit, Castle in tow.

Lanie just shook her head.

There was definitely something going on.

Castle and Beckett made their way back up to the bullpen, stepping off the elevator just as Esposito hung up his phone and met them at the murder board.

"We got security footage from the apartment building King live at and it showed Tylers leaving the building and getting into a cab around 10:30. We were able to track down the cab he took through his credit card reports and the driver confirmed he dropped him off at his apartment across town at 11:15." Esposito said.

"That puts Tylers in the clear. Lanie said time of death is between 11:15 and 11:30. There is no way he could get back across town in time." Beckett said, moving his photo from the suspects list.

"Which means we are back to square one." Castle said.

"Not necessarily. Tylers said he found that duffle bag with the money in it. She might have been telling the truth, and it might have been her friends, but she might not have been and she might have gotten it from somewhere that ended up getting her killed. Ryan go back over her financials. See if there is anything out of the ordinary, even if its small. Esposito, go back over her phone records and see if anything pops." Beckett said as she began making her way back to the elevator.

"What are we doing?" Castle asked catching up to her as she stepped into the elevator.

"We are going to get lunch. I m starving and there is nothing we can do until either the boys or Lanie get us more information." She said as she pressed the button for the lobby.

As the doors closed, Beckett once again pulled Castle's lips to meet hers.

Castle was beginning to like elevators.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43:

For the second time that, Beckett pulled away when the elevator began to slow down before stepping out of it into the lobby with a smirk on her face.

As she made her way across the lobby, she heard Castle emit a low, frustrated growl.

"Something wrong Castle?" she asked with a smirk knowing exactly what was wrong.

"No, nothing is wrong at all." Castle said.

He wasn't a very good liar.

With a chuckle, she pushed the doors to the precinct open, stepping onto the bustling sidewalk as she made her way to her car, unlocking it, and sliding in.

As she put the keys into the ignition, bringing the engine roaring to life, she glanced over at Castle, who now had a mischievous smirk on his face. It was the look he got when he was planning something.

Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to the road as she pulled into traffic.

As soon as they passed the precinct, she gasped in surprise when she felt Castle's hand come to rest on the inside of her thigh.

When she shot him a glare, only to see him staring out the front window with a smug smirk on his face, she narrowed her eyes and decided two could play at that game.

Taking one hand off the steering wheel, she placed it over his, satisfied when she saw him flinch, thinking bodily harm was coming his way.

But she had other ideas.

With her hand over his, she interlocked their fingers before she slid it up her leg before placing both their hands in between her legs, letting him know exactly how turned on she was.

When she saw his head snap side ways to look at her, she ground her hips into their hands, letting out a breathy moan at the friction it created.

Looking over at Castle, she saw his eyes had darkened to the point where the blue that was usually present had been replaced by pure arousal.

As she pulled into a space outside of Remy's, she ground her hips into his hand one more time, letting another moan escape.

Removing their hands from between her legs, she unbuckled her seat, as she leaned over to bring her lips to his ear.

"Too bad we have work. I have something entirely different I think you would enjoy eating." She purred in his ear, before leaning back and bringing her lip to his.

She waited until she felt him move to deepen the kiss before she pulled away, causing Castle to let out a frustrated groan.

"You might want to _compose_ yourself." She said, stroking his arousal once through his pants, eliciting a moan from him, before she turned around and got out of the car with a smirk.

She entered Remy's, trying to think of anything but what just happened in her cruiser.

Truthfully, she was extremely turned on. Her entire body was buzzing with arousal and she was pretty sure it was a good thing she had black pants on today, otherwise the fact that she was soaked would no longer be a secret.

As tempted as she was to forgo lunch and take Castle back to her place, especially after she felt how turned on he was, she couldn't resist the temptation to get him back.

As she took a step forward in line, she felt someone crowd into her from behind.

"You tease." Castle whispered in her ear, causing her to shiver.

She assumed he had composed himself enough that his erection wasn't noticeable through his pants, but when he was pressed up against her like this she could still feel that he was still semi-erect.

She smirked knowing all it would take was a slight shift of her hips and any work he did to control himself would be gone.

Instead she took a slight step forward before turning around to face him.

"Don't play with fire if you can't take the heat." She purred before stepping around him. "Place our orders. I'll go find us a booth."

As Beckett walked away, adding a little swing in her hips just for Castle, they were both thinking the same thing.

They hoped the boys found something that would put an end to this case. They both had something else on their minds.

Placing their orders, burgers, fries, and two strawberry shakes, Castle makes his way over to Kate, who is sitting in their usual booth in the back corner by the window.

As they wait for their food, they fall into conversation, talking about Alexis and college, Martha and her acting school, Kate's dad, and of course the boys and Lanie.

When their food came, they fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying their food and each other's company.

As she went to take a sip of her shake, she saw Castle looking at her like he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if he should or not.

When five minutes passed and he was still staring at her, but had yet to say anything she decided she would push this along.

"What Castle?" she asked with her eyebrows raised.

"Nothing." He said before averting his eyes back to his plate of food.

"Castle, you've been sitting there staring at me for the past ten minutes. Something is up so you might as well just come out and say it." Beckett said, taking a bite of her burger.

Castle took a sip of his milkshake, obviously trying to buy himself some time before he answered. When it was clear that she wasn't going to let it go he sighed.

"I need a favor." Castle finally said.

"No I will not call Gina and tell her you need an extension on your deadline because you have been too busy playing cop." Beckett said.

When Castle didn't say anything, she looked up to see him sitting there staring at his plate with a serious expression on his face.

"What is it Castle?" she asked reaching across the table to take his hand.

"When Alexis got asked to prom a couple of weeks ago, she called Meredith to tell her. Meredith, probably seeing it as another opportunity to go shopping, told Alexis that she would fly in so they could go shopping with her to get her prom dress. Alexis has always been okay with not having a mother figure around, but there are some things that every girl wants to do with their mom and one of those things is going shopping for their prom dress. I have never seen her so excited. Well, the other day I came home and I could tell something was up with Alexis. It turns out Meredith had called earlier in the day and told her she wouldn't be able to make it after all, something about the audition of a lifetime. Anyway, Alexis was crushed. I suggested she go with her friends, but it turns out they had already gone shopping and Alexis had turned them down because she thought she was going to be going with Meredith." Castle said with a sigh.

"Wow." Kate said. She could never understand how Meredith could have a daughter as great as Alexis and not want to be a part of her life. In Kate's opinion Alexis was one of the best things to come out of her relationship with Castle.

"Yeah. That's where you come in." Castle said hesitantly.

"Me?" Beckett asked, genuinely confused.

"I was thinking that maybe you could bring Alexis shopping for her prom dress. I know you're busy and everything, but I know you have next weekend free and you could bring Lanie if you want to." Castle said quickly.

Beckett just sat there, stunned. He wanted her to take his daughter prom dress shopping?

"Never mind. Forget I said anything. I'll just get mother to take her, I wasn't thinking, I'm sure the last thing you want to do on your weekend off is go dress shopping. I'll uh just go get the check and then we can get back to the precinct." Castle said as he began to stand up, obviously taking her silence to mean no.

"No! Castle, wait! I would love to take Alexis dress shopping. You know I love your daughter, but are you sure Alexis would want that? I mean her mom just cancelled on her and I don't want her to think that I'm trying to take her place or anything like that." Beckett said.

Castle let out a sigh of relief.

"Kate, I can assure you that Alexis would be over the moon if you asked her to take her shopping. She absolutely adores you and looks up to you. You've been more of a mother to Alexis in the short amount of time you've known her than Meredith has been her entire life." Castle said and it was true. He was pretty sure Kate knew more about Alexis than her own mother did.

"I don't know…" Kate said hesitantly. She really did want to go, it would give her a chance to get to know Alexis more, but after everything that has happened in the past couple of months between the two of them, she was almost positive that Alexis wouldn't want her to be the one to go shopping with her.

"She was going to ask you, you know." Castle said.

"What?" Beckett said, her head snapping up to meet Castle's eyes.

"She was originally going to ask you. After we all had lunch at Remy's and you started coming over on a regular basis, she decided that she wanted to ask you to go with her, but then Meredith called and the fact that her mom actually wanted to do something with her got her excited." Castle said, his eyes twinkling with adoration.

"I don't understand." Beckett said as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Meredith is her birth mom, yes, but she is more like her crazy aunt, she only shows an interest in Alexis when it suits her which is usually when she wants to have a crazy shopping day. She's never taken the time to actually get to know her. I'm pretty sure if you asked, she wouldn't even know when Alexis's birthday is. As far as Gina, Alexis was never part of the picture with her. Gina only wanted the Richard Castle part of my life, the books, fame, and money. She never wanted the Rick Castle part and unfortunately that part included Alexis. So I guess what I am trying to say is nobody ever paid attention to Alexis unless it benefitted them which usually meant using her to get to me. But then you came along and you showed an interest in her not because she was Alexis Castle, daughter of the famous Richard Castle, but because you were genuinely interested in her. You took the time to get to know her even when you didn't have to. Usually with other women, the fact that I have a teenage daughter is a deal breaker, but I'm pretty sure with you, it's a deal breaker if Alexis is not part of the equation. With you it's like you are using _**me **_to get to _**her**_ and that doesn't escape Alexis's notice. It means more to her than I think she will ever be able to put into words." Castle said.

"Okay." Beckett said.

"Okay?" Castle asked.

"I'll ask her. I know that Lanie has the day off too so I'll ask her to come with and then we can make a day out of it. Shopping, maybe go to the spa and then get some dinner." Beckett said.

"I'm starting to think that extraordinary doesn't do you justice." Castle said as he leaned over the table to give her a kiss.

"You make it sound like going shopping with Alexis is some horrible chore." Beckett said as she got out of the booth.

"Well, like I said, for most people it is." Castle said as he opened the door to Remy's

"Well for me it's not. I love Alexis." Beckett said.

"And that's one of the reason's I love you." Castle said.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in posting. With all these new interviews on the finale I started freaking out about the state of Caskett's relationship and got writers block.

Enjoy!


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44:

Twenty minutes later, Castle and Beckett were back in the elevator heading up to the bullpen.

Castle was disappointed when Beckett didn't kiss him again, but it was probably for the best. He didn't think he would be able to control himself this time and judging by the distance Beckett put between them, she couldn't either.

Stepping out of the elevator they made their way to Beckett's desk, shrugging out of their coats as Ryan and Esposito joined them.

"What do you got me for me boys?" Beckett asked.

"Patrick Gordon." Esposito said as he placed a picture of a man on the board.

"We were going through her phone records when we noticed a phone number popped up pretty frequently. The vic never answered, so we assumed it was a telemarketer, but when we traced it, we got a hit on Gordon." Ryan said.

"Turns out he knew our vic from a distance." Esposito added.

"Stalker?" Beckett asked.

"Appears so. Our vic made several calls to the police claiming she was being followed. Nothing was done because there wasn't any proof. Until two weeks ago." Ryan said.

"Two weeks ago?" Beckett asked.

"Mr. Gordon got a new job at the diner our vic worked at. We spoke to the manager on duty that day and they said that everything was fine with Ms. King until around noon when she came in looking nervous, saying she was quitting." Esposito said.

"We checked the schedule, it was the same time Gordon started his shift. And get this, he hasn't shown up since." Ryan said.

"So Gordon develops some weird fascination with the victim, starts following her, decides he wants to get closer to her, but when he shows up at her work thinking this would be the start of something new, she freaks out and quits, makes Gordon angry so he finds her and kills her?" Beckett asks.

"That's what we thought until we checked his phone records. Seems Mr. Gordon has been in regular contact with Mr. Tylers, picking up in frequency over the past few weeks. The last one was Tylers making a ten second phone call to Gordon right after he left the vic's apartment on the night of the murder." Esposito said.

"Boyfriend calls stalker right before his girlfriend is murdered? I think it's safe to say that is not a coincidence." Castle said.

"Do we have any connection between Tylers and Gordon besides the phone calls?" Beckett asked

"Tylers was a key witness in the attempts to bring down a drug trafficking ring, but a couple days before the trial he refused to cooperate. A couple days later, a large amount of money suddenly appeared in Tylers's account." Ryan said.

"Think he was paid off?" Beckett asked.

"We think that was the original intent, but a couple weeks after he received the first payment, he quit his job, yet he didn't have to make any changes in his lifestyle. If anything, it seemed to improve, yet there was no sign that he got a new job. A couple of weeks later, he was seen hanging out in a lot of the circles Gordon hung out in which is when the phone calls with Gordon started." Esposito said.

"He joined the operation." Beckett said.

"Looks like it. There was a reason we couldn't trace that money Tylers said he found in King's apartment. It wasn't hers, it was his. Gordon made a withdrawal of the same amount two days before the murder." Ryan continued.

"So where does King play into this?" Castle asked.

"We think she probably got wind of what was going on and began digging where she shouldn't have and when she got too deep Tylers and Gordon decided to make sure she never talked." Esposito said.

"Do we have an address?" Beckett asked.

"Run down apartments right on the edge of the city." Esposito said handing her the address.

"Alright let's go." She said as she grabbed her coat and the four of them made their way to the elevator.

"I really hope this is him. There are other things I would rather be doing." Castle said as he looked her up down, making sure she knew she was what he would rather be doing.

"Me too. There are definitely other things I would rather be doing." She replied, keeping her face straight and emotionless.

"Oh really?" Castle leered, the smugness very apparent in his voice.

"Yeah. I can hear my couch and the new Patterson book calling me." She said, glancing over at him to see his smile drop.

That's until he saw her smirking.

"You're evil, woman." He said, as his face broke into a huge smile.

"No you're just easy." Beckett replied as she pulled up to the apartment building and got out making her way to the back of the car to get her vest, Castle doing the same.

Esposito and Ryan hadn't arrived yet, so when she was done putting on her vest, she took the straps to Castle's vest putting them in place before pulling him in for a kiss.

"Come on writer boy, let's go catch the bad guy." She said as she patted his chest before walking towards Ryan and Esposito's cruiser that just pulled up.

Drawing their guns, they made their way into the building and up to the suspects door.

"Castle, stay in the hall until we give you the all clear." Beckett said as she approached the door.

Castle nodded before taking up a position behind her.

"NYPD! Open the door!" Beckett yelled as she knocked on the door with a closed fist.

When there was no answer, Beckett motioned to Esposito who took his place in front of the door and with one swift kick, broke it down.

They made their way into the apartment clearing it one room at a time.

"Clear!" came Esposito's yell.

"Clear!" Came Ryan's.

"All clear. He isn't here, but he has been here recently. We've also got drugs." Beckett replied as Esposito and Ryan made their way into the bedroom to join Beckett where she was standing over a table with what appeared to be cocaine.

"Let's get some uniforms on the place. He had to come back at some point." Beckett said to Esposito who nodded and pulled out his cell phone.

Walking back into the living room, she was surprised to see that Castle hadn't come into the apartment yet.

"Castle, it's all clear, you can come in." she yelled.

Silence.

"Castle?" she asked again as she began to make her way to the door.

Castle was standing there frozen in place with his back to her. Looking past his shoulder, she saw Gordon standing at the end of the hall, a bag of groceries at his feet, a gun pointing at Castle.

It felt like everything just froze before everything happened in a blur.

Esposito and Ryan came around the corner, guns drawn, yelling for Gordon to put his gun down, spooking Gordon as a serious of gunshots rang out as Gordon dropped.

Followed by Castle.

* * *

**A/N**: Oh no not Castle!

Enjoy:)


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45:

When Castle began to wake up, he noticed two things. One, it felt like someone sucker punched him in the gut fifty times before hitting him over the head with a baseball bat and two, someone was calling his name.

Slowly opening his eyes, he blinked a few times, clearing his vision as he took in his surroundings.

He was obviously lying on the ground of a rundown apartment building and the someone that was calling his name was a paramedic who was crouched over him.

"Mr. Castle, nice to see you back with us." The paramedic said.

"Wh-What happened?" Castle asked a little groggily.

"You were shot. Luckily your vest took most of the blow, but I do suspect you'll have a pretty nasty bruise. When you were shot, you fell and hit your head pretty hard which knocked you out. If you think you're ready we are going to sit you up to check for a concussion." The paramedic informed him.

When Castle nodded, the medic motioned for someone to help him and together they sat Castle up, propping him against the wall.

When Castle sat up and one of the paramedics moved away, he noticed Kate leaning against the wall, a blank expression on her face, pale as a ghost.

He wanted to go to her and pull her into his arms, let her know everything was okay, but she must have sensed his eyes on her because her head snapped up, locking eyes with is before abruptly tuning on her heels and disappearing through the door to the stair well.

He wanted to go after her but when he went to stand up the paramedic pushed him back down, saying something about a concussion before beginning his examination.

Twenty minutes later, he was told he could go. He just had a nasty bump on his head along with some bruised ribs, but it was nothing some over the counter pain relievers wouldn't solve.

Castle barely let the paramedic finish before he was pushing himself off the ground, ignoring his ribs protests and was pushing through the doors to the stairs.

Reaching the lobby, he practically sprinted to the front doors, bursting through them.

Looking around, he saw Esposito and Ryan talking to some uniforms. When they saw him they obviously knew who he was looking for because they nodded their heads in the opposite direction before turning back to what they were doing.

Spinning around, he felt is heart break in two.

Kate was sitting, slumped against the wall, knees pulled into her chest. She was obviously lost in her thoughts because she had this distant look on her face, but she was still eerily pale.

She looked so fragile, she looked like she was about to beak and was doing everything she could to hold it together.

"Hey." He said quietly as he approached her.

Snapping out of her thoughts, she looked up at him, blinking a few times like she was trying to focus.

"Ready to go?" he asked with a small smile, holding out his hands to help her up.

She just nodded before taking his hands, allowing him to pull her up from the ground.

When they got to the cruiser, Castle went to move to the passenger side, but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

Turning around, Kate was standing there, keys stretched out towards him.

"Can you drive?" she asked in barely a whisper.

"Of course." He said taking the keys and moving to the driver's side.

As they made their way to the loft in silence, he kept glancing at Kate to make sure she was okay. As much as he wanted to reach over and take her hand, he knew she was fighting to keep control. She wasn't going to let herself break down until they were in private.

Pulling up to the loft, Kate got out, followed by Castle as they made their way to the door.

Luckily, the doorman sensed that silence was best and only nodded as he held the door open for them.

Neither Castle nor Beckett said anything as they rode the elevator up to his floor where they stepped off and made their way to his door.

Pulling out his keys, he unlocked the door, stepping aside to let Kate enter before following himself, shutting the door behind him.

He shrugged out of his coat, plopping it on the floor before walking over to Kate, gently removing her coat from her shoulders.

Hanging it up, he stepped back over to Kate taking her hand in his and leading her over to the couch where he gently pulled her down, took off her shoes, and then pulled her into his lap.

When Kate felt Castle pull her into his lap, she immediately tensed, but when his arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer, she buried her face into his neck and let the tears she had been fighting back flow.

He had almost died. She heard one of the paramedics say that if it had been an inch to the left, it would have missed the plate and would have tore through his kidney, most likely killing him.

It was too close. He had been shot again because of her. He almost lost his life one too many times because of her.

She couldn't live with herself if she had to tell Alexis and Martha that Castle wouldn't be coming home. Hell, she wasn't sure she could survive knowing she would never see his smiling face again.

It was too close and it couldn't happen again. As long as she was in his life, he would always be in danger.

Forcing herself to stop crying, she abruptly stood up, pulling on her shoes.

"Kate?" came Castle's puzzled voice.

She didn't answer. She just made her way to the door, grabbing her coat and pulling it on.

"Kate? Where are you going? Tell me what's going on." Castle pleased as he followed her to the door.

"I can't do this anymore, Castle." she said as she opened the door.

"You can't do what? Kate? Just come back inside, we can talk about this." Castle said as he took a step forward.

"No. I thought this is what I wanted, but its not. I don't want this. I don't want us." Beckett said.

When she saw him take a step back, hurt flashing across his face like she just slapped him, it took everything she had not to go wrap her arms around him and tell him she was kidding, tell him that she didn't want to go. But she didn't. instead she took one last look at Castle before turning around and slamming the door.

Castle just stood there staring at the door. Everything was perfect and now?

Now she was gone.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46:

Kate didn't fall apart in the elevator.

Kate didn't fall apart when she realized Castle still had the keys to her cruiser.

Kate didn't fall apart as she hailed a cab and gave the cabbie the address to the twelth.

Kate didn't fall apart when her phone went off and she looked down only to be greeted by his smiling face.

Kate didn't fall apart as she rode the elevator up to the homicide department.

Kate didn't fall apart when she sat down to do paperwork, only to have his chair taunting her.

Kate didn't fall apart when she told the cabbie her address when she so desperately wanted to give him Castle's.

Kate didn't fall apart when she realized what a big mistake she made.

Kate didn't fall apart when the door swung open to reveal a very defeated looking Castle, eyes red and puffy from crying.

Kate fell apart when without a single word, Castle pulled her into his arms, moving back into the apartment and shutting the door.

They just stood there, rocking back and forth as Kate fell apart.

When Kate's breathing slowed down and her eyes dried, Castle extracted himself from her arms, taking a step backwards to put some distance between them despite Kate's protests.

"I can't go back, Kate." Castle said in barely a whisper. "I can't go back to pretending there is nothing between us. It was difficult enough when I didn't know how great we could be, but now that I do I can't go back, I just can't. I can't go back to sitting by your side every day knowing what its like to hold you, to kiss you, to be the one who gets to comfort you when you need it. I can't go back to pretending I don't know what it's like to hear you moan when I nip at your neck. I can't go back to pretending I don't know what it's like waking up with you in my arms. I can't watch you fall in love with another man, watch you smile at him like you used to smile at me. I can't pretend that I'm not in love with you."

"I don't want you to pretend." Kate replied, equally quiet.

"Then why did you leave? Why did you tell me you don't want me?" Rick said, not even trying to hide his pain.

She did this to him, she was trying to protect him, but ended up hurting him.

"I didn't want to leave. I want you so bad it hurts. The second I left I just wanted to come back to you. No matter where I went, I just wanted to be with you." Kate said, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Then why did you leave?" asked Castle again.

"I was scared." Kate whispered, wiping an escaped tear off her cheek.

"Scared of what?" Castle pushed.

"Losing you." mumbled Kate.

"You aren't going to lose me Kate. I'm right here and I'm never going to go anywhere. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere" Castle said, now standing directly in front of her.

"You don't get it." Kate said the anger apparent in her voice.

"Obviously I don't, but if you don't explain it to me, I'm never going to figure it out!" Castle shouted as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he moved back toward his couch.

Kate was angry, she was frustrated, and she had enough.

"You got shot, Castle! You got shot, jumping in front of a bullet meant for me! I had your damn blood on my hands. I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed, but I could still feel your blood on my hands. You almost died! Did you know that? Your heart actually stopped all because you took a bullet for me. Then today, when I heard the gunshot and saw you fall, all I could think about was that day in the cemetery. Even after I knew you were okay, all I could think about was that day in the cemetery, you're blood on my hands, watching the life drain out of you. Then I heard the paramedic say how one inch to the left and you would have been gone. I would have lost you. I can't lose you Castle. I wouldn't survive that. I already lost my mom and getting through that was so hard. I never wanted to feel that pain again, so I put up all these walls to keep someone from getting to close so that I would hurt like that again if something happened to them, but then you came along and bulldozed those walls down. You're my partner, my best friend. You know me better than anyone. You know when to push and when to step back. You know how to make me laugh. You make me so happy and I just can't lose you. I wouldn't survive that. So I panicked and I ran before you got any deeper, I ran thinking that if I cut it off now, it wouldn't hurt so bad if something happened to you, if I walked away then you wouldn't be put into anymore dangerous situations. Sure I wouldn't have you in my life anymore, but at least I wouldn't have to stand there and watch as they lower you into the ground, I wouldn't have to tell your family what happened, I wouldn't have to watch Alexis become like me, guarded and emotionless all because her parent was taken from her too soon, so I ran." Kate screamed, tears now rolling down her face freely.

Castle didn't even pause when she finished, he just wrapped her up in his arms as a fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I can't promise I'll never get hurt, just like you can't promise me you won't get hurt. I'm sorry you had to go through that and I know this will be a constant battle, you telling me to stay in the car, me saying no, but it's because I love you. I know it's selfish and you have every right to ask me not to shadow you at the precinct, but I can't just walk away Kate. I can't sit by at home or in the precinct wondering if you're okay, wondering if you are going to come back with the boys or if I am going to have to go down to the morgue to see you lying there, lifeless. I need to be there with you, to make sure your safe. I know I'm not a cop, I know it's not my job, but I'm your partner and I'm going to be there for you, I'm always going to have your back whether you like it or not because I can't live without you either. That's why I took the bullet for you in the cemetery. I didn't even have to question it, I would do it every time because I would rather die than have to go one day in a world where you don't exist." Castle said.

"But Alexis and Martha. You can't forget about them. You can't leave them." Kate said.

"They know that every time I walk out that oor, I might not be coming back, but they understand. Because as much as it would hurt them if something happened to me, it would hurt them just as much if something happened to you. you've been family for a long time and even if something happened to me, that would never change. You will always be family. You will always have them and they would never leave you alone to suffer through it. Neither would Esposito or Ryan or Lanie or your dad. And the same goes for you. If something happened to you, I would be a walking shell of a man, I would never be happy again, but I know that I have family, I would be there for your dad, I would make sure he was doing okay, I would be there with the family at the twelth. But I don't plan on ever having to worry about that because as long as I know that you have my back and I have yours, we will do everything we can to make sure the other one comes out alive at the end of the day."

"I'm scared." Whispered Kate.

"I know, I am too, but we are all going to get through it one day at a time, just like we've done for the past three and a half years." Castle said.

Kate thought about it. She could see where he was coming from. There was no time that she felt safer than when Castle had her back. She knew she would do anything to keep him safe, she knew she would do everything in her power to make sure he came to Alexis every night and she knew he would do everything in his power to make sure she came with him.

"Partners?" Kate asked finally.

"Forever and more." Castle replied.

They were once again enveloped in silence, Castle's arms wrapped securely around her, Kate's head buried in his chest. All the tension and pain flowing through them had disappeared, leaving nothing but contentment in its wake.

"Rick?" Kate mumbled into his chest.

"Hmmm?" Rick replied as he ran soothing circles on her back.

"I love you." Kate said, immediately feeling Castle freeze.

"What?" he asked pulling back to look at her.

"I love you. Sometimes so much it hurts and it scares me like hell to know that I rely on you so much, to know that you have the power to break me into a million pieces, but I love you." Kate said.

Castle's face broke out into the biggest grin she had ever seen. It was pure joy and happiness and she couldn't help but return the smile.

"I love you too. So much. And I'm never going to hurt you intentionally. If I ever hurt you, I promise I will do everything I can to fix it, even if it means letting you beat the shit out of me, but I love you so much KB, so much." Castle said.

Then he was kissing her.

* * *

**A/N: **I was tempted to let you guys stew for a little bit before I posted this chapter, but I decided I would be nice:)

We finally got the I love you out of Beckett. I had originally planned on having it later in the story, but as I was writing this, it just felt right and if it feels right you gotta go for it so I did.

Hope you enjoyed:)

Please Review!


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47:

The kiss was slow and gentle at first. Neither of them moved to deepen the kiss and they were both content to just stand there kissing each other, pouring all their apologies and love into the kiss.

When Castle felt Kate nip at his bottom lip, he gasped slightly in surprise giving Kate the access she so desperately craved.

The second their tongues met, it was like a dam had been broken.

Kate's hands snaked up Castle's chest, wrapping around his neck, her hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.

At the same time, Castle brought his hands down to Kate's waist and the next thing she knew, she was being pressed up against the door, her body flush against Castle's as he broke the kiss and immediately attacked her neck.

He worked his way up and down her neck, nipping and sucking every inch of exposed skin. When he nipped at a sensitive spot right below her ear, it was her turn to gasp, but it quickly turned into a moan when he slid his hands down, grabbing her ass, pulling her hips forward as his hips bucked into her, causing his arousal to hit her at just the right angle.

As Castle's lips made their way back to hers, his hands snaked their way up the front of her shirt, but suddenly they heard the jingling of keys from the other side of the door followed by two voices, one of them unmistakably Alexis's.

They both froze, trying to catch their breaths, Castle's hands still up her shirt.

When they heard Alexis stick the key in the lock, Castle jumped into action.

He stepped away from Kate, pulling her forward and turning her around so she was in front of him.

"Unless you want to scar my daughter and her friend, stay in front of me." He whispered as his arousal pressed into her backside as a reminder to why she needed to stay in front of him.

Reaching around her, he grabbed the door and yanked it open, catching Alexis and her friend by surprise.

"Alexis? What are you doing home?" Castle asked, mock-surprise in his voice.

"Uh, Paige's house was a bit noisy so we thought we would come here." She said glancing between her father and the detective.

"Perfect! The house is all yours. Kate and I are going to dinner. I'll be back sometime tomorrow." Castle exclaimed as he ushered Kate past the girls and down the hall.

As they approached the elevator, they heard Paige whisper rather loudly to Alexis. "Why do I feel like we almost just walked in on them?"

"We probably did." Alexis said as they heard the door close.

"Oh my god!" Kate exhaled, her face beat red as she got into the elevator.

When Castle looked at the horrified expression on her face, he burst out in uncontrollable laughter.

"It's not funny!" Kate said, smacking his chest, but she couldn't hold back the smile that broke free at the sight of Castle hunched over, clutching his stomach as he laughed and soon she had tears rolling down her face from her own laughter.

As the elevator came to a stop in the lobby, they managed to subdue their laughter and now had two equally goofy grins on their face as Castle took her hand, pulling her across the lobby and outside into a waiting cab.

For the first fourth of their trip to Beckett's apartment, Castle and Kate sat as far away from each other as possible, neither of them touching the other.

By the second fourth of their trip, their shoulders were touching, hands interlocked as Kate rubbed small circles on the back of his hand with her thumb.

By the third, Castle had his arm wrapped around her waist teasing a small sliver of exposed skin at her waist while the other ran up and down her leg which meant Kate had to clench her jaw to keep herself from moaning at the sensations his touch was causing.

By the time they pulled up in front of her apartment, Castle's hand was pressed firmly up against her between her legs while their tongues battled for dominance. She didn't even care when the cabbie cleared his throat letting tem know they were there and obviously catching them in the act.

Castle took a wad of cash out of his picket throwing what was probably way too much cash into the front seat as they clambered out of the cab and into the building.

They separated just long enough to make their way through the lobby and into the elevator where Castle immediately pushed Kate up against the wall before finding her lips as he rocked into her, swallowing her moan

When the doors opened, they didn't break contact but simply made their way down the hall, lips still interlocked.

When they reached Kate's door, Castle pushed her against it, never breaking contact as he took her keys, unlocking the door and pushing her through it, closing it with his foot before pushing her up against the door once again.

As Castle wrapped his arms around her waist, he began to slow down the kiss before breaking away completely, resting his forehead on hers as they both attempted to catch their breath.

"Are you sure?" Castle asked, placing a quick kiss to her nose before leaning back to take in her expression.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life." Kate said as she reached up and cupped his cheek, caressing it as a smile appeared on her face.

Castle's face broke out in a huge grin as he reached up to brush a piece of her hair behind her ear before kissing her with so much emotion it took her breath away.

Once again, without breaking the kiss, Castle moved Kate down the hall and into her bedroom, breaking the kiss to push her gently back on the bed.

Castle just stood there, staring at the beauty in front of him, trying to take it all in. if this was as far as he ever got, he would be the happiest man alive.

When he noticed Kate avert her eyes, self-conscious of his stare, he positioned himself over her, placing a hand under her chine, forcing her eyes to meet his.

"I love you so much Kate. If all I got to do for the rest of my life is tell you that, I would be the happiest man alive.: Castle said honestly.

A huge smile broke out on Kate's face and Castle could feel all the tension drain out of her.

"I love you too." She said before leaning up and capturing his lips once more.

Kate thought her first time with Castle would be fast, a release of all that pent up sexual tension between them, but it wasn't.

With any of the men she had been with before Castle, it was always just sec. a way to get a release. She was always in control and would never let things get too slow. Slow meant intimate and she was never comfortable enough with any of them for that kind of connection, but with Castle, it felt right. She was glad to give him that control, she trusted him completely with it.

As he made his way down to her neck, he immediately fond her pulse point. When she unsuccessfully tried to suppress a moan as he nipped and sucked, Kate could feel him chuckling as he kissed his way down her neck to her collarbone, only pausing long enough to remover her shirt, before returning to her lips in a searing kiss.

"You're wearing too many clothes." Kate gasped as she reached down, pulling his shirt up and over his head, throwing it so it joined hers on the floor.

Kate was pleasantly surprised when she took in Castle's bare chest. He wasn't exactly muscular, but he was toned, perfectly toned. She couldn't help herself when her hands shot out and ran up and down his chest.

"Like what you see, detective?" Castle asked, one eyebrow raised, a smirk on his face.

"You've been holding out on me Castle, hiding behind all those jackets." Kate said as she moved her hands down to his toned stomach, loving the way his muscles rippled under her touch.

"I didn't want to make t any more difficult for you to keep your hands off of me. You know me, I'm all about the professionalism in the work place." Castle said with his signature crooked grin.

This made Kate laugh, really laugh. Her head was thrown back as pure unadulterated laughter filled the room

As far as Castle was concerned he never saw anything as sexy as Kate Beckett lying in his bed, laughing and he could no longer control himself.

Leaning forward, he effectively cut off her laughter as he sealed his mouth over hers, bringing up one hand to cup her breast, lightly squeezing it before rolling her taut nipple through her bra causing Kate to let out a primal growl.

The room was instantly electrified.

Kate wrapped her legs around Castle as she pulled his head down letting him know how wonderful what he was doing felt.

Castle, no longer satisfied with only being able o feel her through the thin layer of cloth, he reached behind her unhooking her bra, throwing it behind him before leaning back down, sealing his mouth around her nipple, alternating between sucking and licking.

At the feeling of Rick's tongue swirling around her nipple, her hips bucked up into his causing them both to moan in pleasure.

Castle moved over to her other breast, paying it the same attention as the other before kissing down her stomach until he got to her pants where he unbuttoned them, sliding them down, her panties coming with them where he shucked his pant and boxers too.

Kate took in the sight of Castle before her. She had always thought it was just his ego talking when he alluded to being well endowed, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face when she realized he was not exaggerating in the slightest.

As Castle took in the sight before him, he felt like he was dreaming. There was no way he deserved this. Kate was so beautiful, so extraordinary. The closest he could come to describing her, was perfect and that wasn't even close to doing her justice, especially when she broke into the most breathtaking smile.

Spreading her legs apart, he kissed up the inside of her leg, avoiding the spot he knew she wanted his mouth before kissing down the other leg before he moved up so he was hovering over her again.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered before he kissed her.

If Kate thought she was seeing stars from his kiss, she was highly mistaken as Castle reached down between them running his finger through her wet arousal pooling between her legs.

"God you're so wet." Castle growled as he removed his hand.

"Rick…" Kate moaned breathlessly in protest.

Castle just smiled as he worked his way down to the end of the bed so his head was perched between her legs.

Kissing the inside of each thigh, he looked up at her to find her watching him with dark, aroused eyes.

Without breaking eye contact, Castle slowly ran his tongue through her heat growling when Kate's eyes rolled back into her head as she threw her head back with a moan.

Waiting until she made eye contact with him again, he leaned down sucking and licking her swollen clit.

"God Rick! More!" Kate screamed.

Without breaking his rhythm with his mouth, he inserted one finger, matching his thrusts with the rhythm of his tongue. When it was clear that one finger wasn't enough he added one more and then a third, feeling her walls close around his fingers as he thrust.

When her hips started thrashing in pleasure, he reached up and with one hand he kept her hips firmly planted on the bed as he thrust his fingers in and out of her faster as his tongue flicked across her bundle of nerves until he felt her shatter around his fingers.

Castle kept his fingers moving as he watched her body twitch in pleasure, stroking her down from her high.

"Castle… I need you… inside me… now!" Kate growled.

Castle just smirked as he positioned himself in between her legs, running his length up and down her wetness before positioning himself at her entrance.

"Rick…" Kate whimpered when he just held himself there.

"Tell me what you want Kate." Castle said as he teased her entrance.

"You. I want you. In me." Kate gasped as he barely pushed the tip of his hard cock into her before withdrawing it.

"Say it." Castle said. "I want to hear you say it."

"Fuck me Ri…" Kate tried to say before effectively being cut off as Rick sheathed himself fully inside her, waiting as she got used to him.

When Kate's hips started to move against his, he started to move his hips with hers in rhythm.

"Oh god Kate. You're so tight." Castle growled as he bent over her, taking one of her nipples in his mouth as he continued his thrusts.

"Harder Rick." Kate gasped.

Leaning back, he grabbed her legs bringing them up so they were bent at the knees, which changed the angle he was thrusting into her with, hitting her in all the right places as he picked up his speed.

Castle was barely holding on and when he felt her walls start to flutter letting him know she was close too, he reached down, pressing his thumb into her clit.

With one, two, three more thrusts, Kate's back arched as her orgasm overtook her, Rick following her with one more thrust.

As they both came down from their highs, Rick removed himself from her as he rolled over onto the bed next to her, pulling her into his chest.

"Wow." He said.

"Yeah." Kate agreed.

"Why didn't we do this four years ago?" Castle asked with a tired laugh.

"I believe it had something to do with the fact that you were an arrogant ass and would sleep with anything with a breath." Kate said as she placed a kiss to his chest before snuggling in closer.

Castle just chuckled as he placed a kiss to her head before snuggling into her as he tightened his arms around her.

"Goodnight Kate." He mumbled.

"Goodnight Rick." Kat replied.

Everything was quiet as their breathing evened out.

"Hey Rick?" Kate asked, breaking the silence.

"Hmmm?" he asked sleepily.

"I love you." Kate said. She loved saying it, she didn't want to stop.

"I love you too Kate. So much. So, so much." He whispered.

With a smile on their faces, they both snuggled against each other and fell asleep, neither of them wanting to be anywhere else.

* * *

**A/N:** Well there we go. I hope I did okay with this…

Enjoy and Review!


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48:

As Kate began to wake up the next morning, she squished her eyes together willing herself to go back to sleep. She was having an amazing dream about Castle. Sure, she had dreams about him before, but this one was so real! And the things he did to her body… it sent a shiver down her spine.

When it was clear that she wasn't going to get back to sleep, she buried her head in her pillow and let out a frustrated growl.

"You know after all those early mornings I've found you already at your desk two cups of coffee deep, I pegged you as a morning person, but I don't think I've ever heard or seen someone so frustrated to wake up." Came an amused voice from behind her.

Eyes flying open, she rolled over to find Castle propped up on his hand staring at her with an amused look on his face.

She couldn't help but notice how adorable he looked with is sleepy, happy, I-just-had-the-best-sex-of-my-life look.

"I thought it was a dream and I didn't want to wake up." She admitted as she brushed some of his hair out of his eyes.

"Well Detective, I'm sure I can make your dreams come true…. Again." Castle said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"That sure of yourself, are we Mr. Castle?" Kate said with a smirk as she ran her hand down his chest.

"Oh definitely. You have to admit, I kind of rocked your world last night," Castle said as he trailed open mouth kisses down her jaw.

"Mmm. Maybe top ten worthy." Beckett hummed.

"I think it was at the very least top three." Castle said as he continued his trail down her neck and across her collarbone.

"Maybe top five." Kate hummed, her whole body humming with arousal.

"I don't think that's good enough detective. Anything I can do to maybe change your mind?" Castle asked as he took her hard nipple into his mouth as he rotated them so she was underneath him.

"Well, there's always this." She said as she pulled him up into a passionate kiss.

"Mmm, there's definitely that." Castle said as he started to nip and suck on her pulse point, pulling a moan out of her.

"Or there's always this." She said as she reached down between them and stroked his length, causing him to growl.

Breaking away from her neck, he leaned over her, positioning himself at her entrance before pushing himself into her with one fluid thrust.

Once again, he waited to allow her to adjust to him, but obviously he waited too long

"God Rick, if you don't start moving." Kate growled.

With a smirk, he began to move inside of her slowly at first before he began to pick up speed loving the way her back arched into his chest as she let out a moan followed by his name.

As Castle began to feel himself getting closer to his climax, he could feel the tension in Kate as she got close too, but he could tell she needed more to push her over the edge.

Leaning over her, he took one of her breasts in his mouth as he reached down with one hand, finding her clit, where he used his thumb to press into it as his thrusts picked up in speed.

In a matter of no time, he felt Kate's walls tighten around him before her eyes got wide and her back arched as her orgasm overtook her. With a few more thrusts, Castle followed her over the edge and soon they were lying side by side, gasping for air.

When Castle's breathing slowed down enough he broke the silence.

"If that's not top 3, I don't know what else I can do." He gasped.

"Definitely top three." Kate replied which in turn caused a big goofy smile to appear on Castle's face.

"Well Detective, can I make you some breakfast?" Castle asked as he traced circles on her stomach.

"Seeing as how I only have my Styrofoam temple, that could be tricky, but I'll tell you what, you go take a shower, I'll make us some coffee, and then we can go to breakfast." Kate said.

"You could always join me in the shower." Castle said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"If I do that, we'll never leave." Kate said as she gave him a quick kiss before sliding out of bed and grabbing his shirt, pulling it on before disappearing into the kitchen.

Five minutes later she heard the water start and as she put a pot of coffee on before heading back into the bedroom to pull on some faded jeans and a white, v-neck, knowing Castle loved her in this outfit.

Trudging her way back into the kitchen, she had just finished pouring two cups of coffee when there was a knock at the door.

Frowning at the unexpected guest, Kate walked over to the door pulling it open to reveal Lanie.

"Lanie? What are you doing here?" Kate asked as she tried to remember if they had plans she forgot about.

"The boys told me what happened with writer boy yesterday and no one could reach you on your cell so I thought I'd swing by and check on you, make sure you were alright." Lanie explained.

"Oh." Kate said. Why didn't she hear her phone? That's when she noticed her coat in a pile on the floor. Picking it up she fished her phone out of her pocket and sure enough there were half a dozen missed phone calls from Lanie and the boys.

"Girl, ever since I've known you, you're phone is never not by your side. Are you okay?" Lanie asked, concern etched across her face at the uncharacteristic actions of her best friend.

Kate was just about to answer, but then she heard her bedroom door open.

"Kaaattteeee! Why didn't you wait for me? I wanted to take my shirt off of you. You know I love undressing you!" came Castle's whining voice.

When Castle saw Kate standing frozen in the door way his brows furrowed together in confusion until he looked past her to see a smug looking Lanie standing on the other side.

"Oh." Was all Castle could say, eyes wide with panic.

"Girl! You have some explaining to do!" Lanie squealed in the door way as she pushed her way past Kate and into the apartment.

Kate looked like she was going to protest, make up some kind of excuse as to why Castle was there, but no matter which way she spun it, she knew Lanie wouldn't believe it and there wasn't any use fighting it so she just relaxed and smiled, which caused Castle to relax, his smile returning to his face.

"Rain check?" he asked walking up to her, knowing Lanie wasn't going to be leaving until she got some information out of Kate.

"Rain check." Kate said with a smile. "I'll come by the loft later?"

"I would be disappointed if you didn't, just use your key." He said with a smile as he leaned down and kissed her, refusing to break contact until Lanie cleared her throat.

"Love you." he said before giving her one more chaste kiss before heading to the door.

"Love you too." Kate said before closing the door behind her with a huge smile on her face, turning around to a shocked Lanie.

"So, uh, Castle and I are together?"


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49:

Ten minutes later, Lanie and ate were perched on the couch, two cups of coffee in hand.

"Spill." Lanie said immediately.

Kate just rolled her eyes. "Where do you want me to start?" she asked.

"Um, how about the beginning." Lanie said with an equally impressive eye roll.

Kate laughed. "Okay, you remember that sniper case we had a couple weeks ago?" Kate asked.

"Wait, you've been sleeping with Castle for two weeks and you're now just telling me? You're best friend?" Lanie exclaimed in mock hurt.

"Do you want to hear the story or not?" Kate asked.

"Yes, sorry. Okay yes I remember the case with the sniper." Lanie said with an exasperated sigh.

"Okay. Well when we were walking back to the car, Castle just randomly tackled me to the ground." Kate said.

"What!? Did you kick his ass?" Lanie asked.

"No, but believe me I wanted to. I thought he was messing around so I got pissed and sent him home telling him something about this not being a joke." Kate said.

"Wait you thought? He wasn't messing around?" Lanie asked confused.

Kate shook her head.

"Than why would he tackle you?" Lanie asked even more confused.

"He had a PTSD episode." Kate said with a sigh.

"Oh." Lanie said, knowing exactly how bad those were.

"Yeah. It turns out the mixture of the nature of the crime coupled with the reflections on the buildings, reminding him of the reflection on the scope of the sniper rifle, triggered something and he thought he was back in the cemetery and then when someone shut a car door, to him it sounded like a gun shot and so he tackled me, thinking we were back in the cemetery." Kate explained.

"Damn." Lanie sighed.

"Yeah." Kate said.

"If you sent him home, how did you figure this out?" Lanie asked.

"Alexis called me." Kate said.

"That's not good." Lanie said.

"It could have been worse. She didn't know what was going on. She came home from school and saw his keys and jacket in the entry way so she assumed he was in his office, but when she went to go check, the door was locked so she called his phone and heard it in the office, but he wasn't answering her so she kind of freaked out and called me." Kate said

"Was he alright?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah. At first I thought he was just moping around because I didn't know about the PTSD yet, but Alexis was pretty upset so I went over. After I managed to convince Alexis to go to a friends house, just in case, I went into his office to find him asleep in his chair." Kate said.

"He was just asleep?" Lanie asked confused by the pained expression in her friend's eyes.

"He was having a nightmare. When I finally managed to wake him up, he looked so helpless and scared. He wasn't convinced that I was actually there at first. He thought I was… he thought I was dead." Kate said

"Oh honey." Lanie said patting her knee.

"I didn't know what to do. So once I convinced him that I was actually there and got him to calm down, I went to get him a glass of water and then waited for him to calm down enough to tell me what had happened." Kate said.

"The cemetery?" Lanie asked.

Kate nodded. "He explained the reasoning for why he tackled me, and I guess when I sent him home, he was still not totally there so when he got home, he couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened to me so he called me and of course, me being the stubborn person I am didn't answer, which didn't help. He thought that maybe if he took a nap, he would feel better, but when he went to sleep he just got stuck in this endless repeat of the cemetery, except this time he couldn't get to me in time and I died, which I guess is why he was so surprised to see me when he woke up."

"So is this when you and writer boy hooked up? Nothing like some hot and steamy sex to help someone know that you're alive." Lanie said with a smirk.

"No, after that it only got worse." Kate said remembering exactly what came next.

"Uh oh." Lanie said, she could tell this was serious.

Kate just grimaced. "He didn't know that I had put the water on his desk so when he leaned back against it and knocked it over. When he went to get some towels, I tried my best to get everything out of the way and I ended up knocking a remote and the murder board that he uses to plan his story lines for Nikki Heat started up."

"What? Did he put something hot and steamy in there that you didn't approve of?" Lanie asked not understanding the problem.

"No. When it turned on there was a murder set up alright, but it wasn't for Nikki Heat. It was for my case, my mom's case. He was investigating her murder behind my back after he came to me and asked me to step away for a little while." Kate said, the anger she felt that day flaring a little bit.

"That boy never learns does he?" Lanie asked, shaking her head at the stupidity of Castle. You would think after the first time he meddled in Kate's life against her wishes he would have learned.

"You would think." Kate said sarcastically.

"So what happened next?" Lanie asked.

"I left." Kate said.

"How did you go from leaving to doing the horizontal mambo with writer boy?" Lanie asked with an eyebrow raised.

"He came after me. I was sitting in the hallway, bawling my eyes out and he came running out of his apartment. He practically begged me to come back into the loft. Begged me to at least let me explain and then if I still wanted to leave he would leave me alone for good." Kate said remembering how desperate Castle sounded. The pure desperation in his voice was what eventually convinced her to come back.

"That must have been one hell of an explanation." Lanie said.

"Oh believe me, at first when he told me why he did it I was pissed." Kate said.

"Why did he do it?" Lanie wondered.

"Apparently he got a call from some guy. He said he was a friend of Montgomery's and before Montgomery was killed he sent him a package that had incriminating evidence against those behind my mom's murder. Montgomery was using it to keep his family safe along with me. This guy explained to Castle that he now had the same deal with whoever was behind things and as long as I stopped digging I would be safe, but if I continued to dig they would kill me." Kate said.

"Which is why he asked you to back off." Lanie put together.

"Yeah." Kate confirmed.

"So how did he go from asking you to back off to investigating the case himself?" Lanie asked.

Kate sighed. "He said he knew that I needed the closure. He knew how important this was to me and this guy that called him never said anything about him investigating so he figured he would start digging. That way I would be safe, but I would still get the closure I needed."

"Damn. That boy has got some balls." Lanie murmured.

"I know. The funny thing is, as he was telling me all this, I wasn't mad at him for digging into my mom's case, but mad that he was putting himself in danger. The only thing I could think while he was telling me all this was that they were going to come after him. I was going to lose him." Kate said.

"So then what changed?" Lanie asked. "You said you were angry at him, but then he said something?" Lanie said.

Kate nodded, biting her lip.

"Well, spit it out." Lanie pushed.

"I kept asking him why he did it, how he could do this knowing the danger he was in. He looked me straight in the eye and told me he did it because he was in love me." Kate said a smile on her face as Lanie squealed.

"It's about time!" Lanie yelled.

"Shut up." Kate said, but even she couldn't keep the smile of her face.

"Hey it only took you three and a half years to finally admit your feelings for each other! We were beginning to think you two would never get your heads out of your ass. At the rate you two are going its going to be another three years before you go through the whole 'meet the family' ordeal." Lanie said with an eye roll.

Kate immediately found something on her couch very interesting as she avoided Lanie's gaze.

"Oh my god! You already introduced him to your dad!" Lanie squealed. "When?"

"Two days after we got together." Kate said quietly.

"WHAT?" Lanie squeaked.

"We weren't originally going to tell him, he just kind of figured it out. We were there to share other news with him." Kate said with a shrug.

"Kate Beckett, are you pregnant?" Lanie asked with a stern glare.

"Oh my god Lanie! No! Hell no! We just started dating!" Kate exclaimed, her cheeks going bright red.

"Well you said you had other news, I just assumed, especially when you said your dad figured out that you were together. So if you're not pregnant then what's the news you went to tell him?" Lanie asked.

"We went to tell him that I was, that we were stepping away from my mom's case for good." Kate said

"You're giving up your mom's case?" Lanie asked, suddenly serious.

Kate nodded. "Well technically, I already did. When we woke up the next morning we decided we had to talk some more. We never really discussed things past why he did what he did the previous night. We couldn't come to an agreement on what to do about my mom's case. I wouldn't let him dig and he wouldn't let me dig. We argued and argued and then he said something that just made a light bulb click."

"What did he say?" Lanie asked.

"My mom would still be gone. Solving her murder wasn't going to bring her back."

"He has a point." Lanie said.

"I know. I realized that too. For so long I had been living my life for my mom, denying myself the right to be happy because I felt that if I let myself be happy, I was going to get distracted and disappoint my mom by not solving her murder, but then I realized I had been disappointing her all along by not being happy. I have so many people who love me and care for me, including this great man who would do anything for me, his family who would do anything for me, my dad, you guys, and I was living my life buried to the neck trying to solve something that really wouldn't change anything. While it would be nice to know who was behind all of this, and while I will always want justice, actually finding it would change very little in my life and yet here I was ready to throw everything away that could change my life. I was throwing my chance at happiness away. So Castle and I decided together that we were going to walk away. We packed everything up and before we went to see my dad we went to Gates, explained everything asking if she could get it into the hands of someone who could do something about it and then we left. For good." Kate said.

"Wow. Girl I'm so proud of you." Lanie said.

"You know, I'm proud of myself too. I thought giving it up would be so much more difficult than it was, but it wasn't it felt like a weight was lifted of my shoulders and I felt… free and happy." Kate said as a huge grin crossed her face.

"That was such a big step for you." Lanie said.

"You have no idea. But, uh, I did something else I never thought I would do." Kate said sheepishly.

"What?" Lanie asked.

"I took him to see my mom"


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50:

"You what?" Lanie asked, her jaw hanging slack.

"I took him to see my mom, Lanie. I was planning on going to see her alone after we had lunch with my dad, but when we went to leave, I realized that for the first time I didn't want to go, I wanted to have someone there with me, but not just any someone, I wanted that someone to be Castle, so we got in the cab and I told him we were going to go see my mom." Kate said.

"You never bring anyone with you to see your mom, except your dad." Lanie said, surprised.

"I know." Kate said.

"What changed?" Lanie asked, curious as to what had her friend having this sudden epiphany. She had always thought it would be a good thing to bring someone other than her dad with her, to share some of that burden and when Richard Castle walked into her life, she would be lying if she said she didn't think he was the perfect person for the job.

"We were having lunch with my dad. Usually when and if I introduce a guy to my dad, things are awkward, but with Castle they weren't. It felt… normal, right. We were sitting there eating our lunch, stealing each others fries laughing like idiots. We were acting like two five year olds in front of my dad and for the first time in my life, I didn't care. I didn't want to hide Castle. There was one point where I had some ketchup on my mouth and he wiped it off and I didn't even think twice when I caressed his cheek in thanks. It was so intimate, but just like everything else, we were back to laughing idiots within seconds when I stole the rest of his sandwich."

As Lanie sat there watching her friend's face light up as she explained the story she knew exactly what she meant.

"You didn't want to hide Castle, from anyone." Lanie said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

Kate nodded. "When we were getting ready to leave, my dad asked me to go pay the bill so he could talk to Castle. I thought at first he was going to give him the typical don't hurt my daughter speech, but when I was coming back I overheard a little bit of their conversation. My dad was thanking Castle for making me happy, for bringing me back to the Katie I was before my mom died and that's when it hit me. My dad was right. When my mom died, I lost a large part of who I was and that large part was happiness, but when I met Castle he slowly filled in those holes and he made me happy again Lanie. So incredibly happy. I will always miss my mom, but I realized that as long as I had Castle, I would be okay, I would be happy like I was before my mom was killed and I wanted my mom to meet the man responsible for that happiness."

"So you took him to see your mom."

Kate nodded.

"How did it go?" Lanie asked.

"He was so adorable. He was so nervous. I made a joke about it at first, saying how he wasn't that nervous with my dad and he was the one he should be worried about, but he just kind of forced a smile and then went back to staring out the window. He couldn't figure out why, out of everyone I could bring to the cemetery, I would bring him. He actually felt like he didn't deserve it after everything he has done. He blamed himself for what happened at Montgomery's funeral and he couldn't understand why I would want to bring him." Kate said.

"I hope you set him straight." Lanie said.

"I did. I told him I didn't blame him for any of those things that happened. I told him I was bringing him with me because even though those things happened, they were in the long run, a good thing, because they brought me closer to him. I explained to him that I was bringing him to see my mom because I wanted her to meet the man that brought back my happiness, that made me want to live my life." Kate said.

"Good." Lanie said with a smile.

"Yeah. When we got there it was perfect. He said all the right things and after we were done I broke down in his arms Lanie. You know how much I hate crying in front of people, but I didn't care with Castle. I just cried and cried and cried and he just held me. We ended up falling asleep and then when I woke up things got a little interesting." Kate said with a smirk.

"What did you do?" Lanie asked, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

"Let's just say if it hadn't started raining, I probably would have slept with him right then and there." Kate said with a blush rising in her cheeks.

"Oh my god girl! On your mother's grave!?" Lanie exclaimed.

"I know. I'm probably going to hell for it, but he wasn't waking up so I kissed him to wake him up, fully intending to pull away, but when I tried, he followed and then I couldn't stop, I didn't want to stop. I didn't even realize where we were until we were on our way to his loft."

"Where you got your freak on?" Lanie asked.

"Nope. Where we ate dinner with Alexis and then went to sleep with our clothes on." Kate said.

"Girl you are killing me! When did you jump writer boy's bones?" Lanie asked.

"Last night was the first time." Kate said.

"You've been together for almost two weeks and the first time you slept together was last night?" Lanie asked in disbelief.

"It's not like we didn't want to, we would always just get interrupted or be too exhausted to do anything." Kate said with a shrug.

"Okay, I can believe that. So let me get this straight. When Esposito and Ryan saw you leave yesterday with Castle, you came straight home and jumped his bones?" Lanie asked.

"Ah, not exactly." Kate said averting her eyes.

"Oh no, girl I know that look. That's your I-did-something-really-stupid look." Lanie said.

"Yeah, well I did. After we got back to his loft, I broke down again. Castle was nothing but caring and understanding. Well, you know me I tend to over think things. I panicked. I realized how much I loved him and I couldn't lose him like my mom, I couldn't handle watching him get lowered into the ground so I decided that I would leave. Even though he wouldn't be in my life, I wouldn't have to watch him die. So I ran. Told him we were over." Kate said.

"Girl, you are an idiot." Lanie said.

"I know. Believe me I know. He looked so hurt and it was so hard to leave, but I was my usual stubborn self. The moment I left I knew I was making a big mistake, but I was still stubborn. I went to the precinct, even went to go back home, but somehow I ended up at his door and I knew it was the right place to be." Kate said.

"What happened?" Lanie asked.

"He opened the door, I broke down crying, he held me until I calmed down and then he stepped away saying how he can't go back. Saying how he can't go back to pretending like there was nothing between us, that he doesn't love me. He kept asking me why I ran and of course, me being an idiot, I was as vague as hell, but he kept pushing me and eventually I snapped." Kate said.

"Please tell me you didn't run again?" Lanie said.

"No. I finally let out everything I was holding in. How I felt when he got shot in the hospital, how even after I washed my hands over and over again I could feel the blood on my hands, how when he got shot in the hallway again I was instantly back in the cemetery. I couldn't stop. I told him how I couldn't lose him, not after what happened with my mom, I needed him, I wouldn't survive losing him and that's why I ran, because I was scared that he was going to die on me just like everyone else I cared about." Kate said.

"What did he say to that?" Lanie asked.

"He said he could get killed walking across the street. He said he knows its scary, and he was sorry for putting me through all that. He actually apologized for him getting shot because of me. But then he went into this whole speech about how he couldn't live without me either, how if something happened to me, he would be as good as dead. He said he would take a bullet for me any day because it was better than having to live without me. When I brought up Alexis and Martha, he said they understood the risks, they understood that when he left each morning, he might not be coming back, but they understood because they knew he was leaving to have my back and as much as they would miss him if something happened to him, they would miss me just as much. He said he can't make any promises that he will never get hurt, but he couldn't just sit there at home wondering if I was okay, wondering if I was coming back. He knew it was scary, but he knew I would do everything in my power to make sure he came back to Alexis every night and he knew he would make sure I came with him." Kate finished.

"Wow." Lanie said.

"Yeah, then I told him I loved him." Kate said as nonchalantly as she could.

"YOU DID WHAT?" Lanie yelled.

"I told him I loved him." Kate said.

"It's about damn time. Please tell me this was where you got your freak on?" Lanie whined.

"Yes, well kind of. We were well on our way, but then we were kind of interrupted by Alexis and her friend." Kate said.

"Poor girls." Lanie said.

"Yeah. I was kind of against the door and we heard them from the other side. Luckily Castle thought fast and opened the door before they could, pretending we were leaving, but I'm pretty sure with his rambling and the fact that he had to conveniently position me in front of himself to hide a certain reaction, we're pretty sure they figured it out. We heard Alexis's friend ask Alexis if they had almost just walked in on us."

"I bet you were as red as a cherry." Lanie said, knowing how easily Kate got embarrassed.

"Oh I was, and Castle had the nerve to laugh. I was angry at first, but his laugh his so damn contagious and by the time we reached the lobby I couldn't care less what had just happened. All I knew was I couldn't wait to get him home." Kate said.

"Details!" Lanie said excited.

"Well, we may have been making out like two horny teenagers in the back of the cab, and Castle's hands may have been in a place that could have gotten him arrested." Kate mumbled.

"Girl, you need to take a walk on the wild side, there are plenty of people who get it on in the back of cabs." Lanie said with a wave of her hand.

"Oh believe me, I didn't care. I don't think I got out of that cab and up to my apartment fast enough." Kate gushed.

"So how was it?" Lanie asked.

"Amazing. Easily the best sex of my life." Kate said.

"I bet. I'm surprised you two had been able to control yourselves long enough to get to your apartment with how long you two have been denying your feelings for each other." Lanie said with a knowing grin.

"That's just it though. Whenever I thought about my first time with Castle, yes I've thought about it, I always expected it to go fast, but it wasn't it was slow and Castle had all the control and I didn't care. Usually I hate going slow. Sex has always just been sex, but with Castle it was so much more. It was intimate, and I actually had fun. Who knew I would ever have fun having sex. I was laughing like an idiot half way through." Kate said, a wild smile on her face.

"One question. Are the rumors true?" Lanie asked.

"Not in the slightest Lanie. The rumors are an under exaggeration." Kate said as she adjusted her hands to show Lanie exactly what she meant.

"Damn girl. I should have stolen him while I got the chance." Lanie said.

"I'm sure Esposito would love that." Kate said, giving her the you aren't fooling me look.

"I don't know what you're talking about. But I have to get back to work before Javi sends a search party out for us." Lanie said as she stood up.

"Alright. By the way this stays between us." Kate said.

"Of course." Lanie said making her way to the door.

"Oh I almost forgot, we are going shopping next weekend, taking Alexis prom dress shopping." Kate said.

"Look at you being all motherly." Lanie replied smugly.

"Shut up. Meredith was supposed to go with her, but cancelled last second and all her friends already went. According to Castle, Alexis was going to originally ask me before Meredith offered so he thought it might cheer her up if I asked her to go, but I haven't got a clue what would work, hence the bringing you part." Kate said.

"From the little bit of time Alexis has worked in the morgue, I don't get how you couldn't want to be in her life." Lanie said.

"It's a mystery we will never solve." Kate said with a shrug.

"You got that right. Well, count me in." Lanie said.

"Thanks Lane." Kate replied.

"Oh and Kate?" Lanie said as she opened the door.

"Hmm?"

"Don't let this one get away. He's good for you." she said before closing the door.

"Oh believe me. I won't." Kate said to no one but herself.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51:

"Hey." Castle said with a big smile on his face when he pulled his door open twenty minutes later to reveal the stunning Kate Beckett.

"Hey." She replied, stepping into his loft and shrugging out of her shoes.

"I thought I told you to use your key?" Castle said with a pout.

"You're home, Castle. There is no reason for me to use my key when you can get up and walk to the door to let me in when I knock just fine." Kate said sarcastically.

"Don't ruin my story with your logic." Castle mumbled as he leaned down to kiss her. "Mmm, I missed you." he said when he pulled away.

"Castle, you left my apartment less than an hour ago." Kate said as she made her way into the kitchen, sitting down at one of the bar stools as she watched Castle resume his cooking of what looked like an omelet.

"Kate, I miss you when I leave your desk to get you coffee in the break room. Spending every minute of every day with you, wouldn't be enough." Castle said.

She thought for sure he was exaggerating, but when she looked up, intending to roll her eyes, she was met with nothing but sincerity and instead of rolling her eyes, she dipped her head as she felt the blush rise in her cheeks.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say that's a line." She said, trying to recover.

"For anyone else, maybe, for you, definitely not. Now seeing as how Lanie didn't show up at your door with any food, I am guessing you haven't eaten, would you like an omelet m'lady?" Castle asked as he bowed over with a flurry of his arms.

"I could eat. Is Alexis home?" she asked, looking around the loft to make sure she didn't miss the young redhead.

"She's upstairs in her room studying, why do you ask?" Castle said as he added more ingredients to the pan.

"I told Lanie about taking Alexis prom dress shopping and she was all for it. We both have next Saturday off, so I thought now would be a good of time as ever to ask Alexis if she wanted to come." Kate said.

"I'm sure she could use a break. Second door on the left when you reach the top of the stairs." He said with a warm smile.

"I expect my omelet when I get back." She said as she gave him a peck on the lips. "And if there is any hint of chocolate or marshmallows, that kiss I just gave you will be the last one you get for a month." She said trying to sound convincing. She knew her threat was pretty much mute. He knew as well as she did that she wouldn't be able to go a month without kissing him.

"I don't get how nobody likes them. They are so delicious!" Castle complained.

Kate just shook her head and made her way up the stairs to the room Castle directed her to.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" came Alexis's voice from inside the room.

Pushing the door open, Kate poked her head in to see Alexis sitting on her bed, books sprawled out in front of her.

"Hey it's Kate, mind if I come in for a second?" she asked.

"Oh hey Kate, not at all, I could probably use a break anyway." Alexis said as she looked up from her work.

"What are you studying?" Kate asked, taking in the mess on the girls bed as she sat in the only chair in the room.

"I think the better question is what am I not studying?" Alexis said with a chuckle.

"I'd ask for specifics, but I don't think I would understand any of it." Kate said as she took in some of the titles to the books.

"Sometimes I'm not sure I understand what I'm reading. So what can I do for you? I'm assuming you didn't just come up here to ask me about my studying habits." Alexis said.

"Oh no, um, well I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to come right out and ask and if you don't want to then I totally understand." Kate rambled.

"Kate, I'm sure whatever it is, its not that bad." Alexis said.

"Right. Well it's just, your dad mentioned that you were supposed to go shopping with your mom for your prom dress, but she couldn't make it and all your friends already went so I thought that maybe we could go. Lanie has next Saturday off and so do I and I just thought that maybe we could all go and make a day out of it?" Kate asked.

"Oh no, I wouldn't want you to waste your day off on me." Alexis said with a blush on her cheeks.

"Alexis, I can assure you that any time I spend with you will never nor has ever been a waste of time and you know that. I want to take you shopping and so does Lanie. I'm actually kind of excited. I know that I can never replace your mother and it's not really the same thing, but if anyone understands how hard it is to go through these things when your mom isn't around, I think it would be me, but believe me, I really do want to come with you. I think it would be a blast." Kate said with a smile.

Alexis sat there for a couple seconds and she looked like she was about to cry before she bolted from her bed and wrapped her arms around Kate in a tight hug. Kate was surprised at first, but quickly recovered wrapping her arms around the young girl, stroking her hair like her mom used to do for her when she was upset.

"Thank you Kate. I would love for you to go with me." Alexis said as she sat back down on her bed, wiping a few stray tears.

"Good. You know you can talk to me right? Like I said before, I know it's not the same, but I have an idea of what you're going through and if you ever need to talk about something you don't feel you can talk about with your dad, or you need to vent, or you simply need a place to escape, my door is always open. Unless it is something serious that I know your dad needs to know, whatever we talk about stays between us." Kate said.

"Thanks. I know I should be used to it by now, her cancelling on me, but it still stings a little every time she does it. Like I can't help but get a little excited and think, maybe this is the time she will actually come. I love my dad and he made sure I had a wonderful childhood, but there are just some things you need a mom for." Alexis confided.

"Believe me Alexis. I understand. There are so many times I find myself thinking that I wish my mom was here, that she would know how to fix this even if it's just with a hug." Kate said somberly.

"Oh my god Kate, you must think I'm an idiot, I'm sitting here complaining about my mom when she's a plane ride away when your mom is gone. I'm so sorry!" Alexis rushed out as she hid her hands in her face.

"Hey, its okay. I told you that if you ever wanted to talk you could." Kate said brushing Alexis's hair behind her ear.

"But still. You've gone through so much and here I am complaining about menial things." Alexis said.

"Can I be honest with you? It may not be my place, but I think it will help." Kate said hesitantly.

Alexis nodded.

"I think that it's menial at all. In fact I think you are completely justified in what you are feeling and I think you're situation is far more difficult than mine. While it was hard, I know that my mom didn't want to leave me. She was taken from me, but not because she wanted to. You're mom on the other hand chose to leave, and you having to deal with that is not fair in the slightest. No one should have to deal with that, especially someone as great as you. I've only met Meredith once, but I've got the chance to know you over the years and I honestly can't even begin to understand how someone could know you and not want to be a part of your life." Kate said honestly.

"You really mean that?" Alexis asked.

"Every word. You're dad has a lot of great things about him, but the best of them all is you. You're intelligent, compassionate, funny, driven. You have a lot of great things coming your way and I know that you're dad will be so proud of you with whatever you chose to do and I know I will too." Kate said.

"Thank you Kate." Alexis said.

"You don't need to thank me for the truth Alexis. Now come on. You're dad was making omelets when I came up here and I'm afraid if we wait any longer he will either burn the house down or we will find ourselves with smorelettes on our plates." Kate said with a smirk as she pulled Alexis off the bed and made her way to the door.

"Kate?" Alexis asked before she could open the door.

"Yeah?" Kate asked turning back to Alexis.

"Can you promise me something?" Alexis asked hesitantly.

"I can certainly try."

"I know what you and my dad have is great, but if for some reason things don't work out between you, can you promise me that you won't forget me? That we will still get to see each other and go to lunch and stuff like that?" Alexis asked uncertain.

"Alexis, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried." Kate said as she pulled Alexis into a hug.

"Good." Alexis said.

As they made their way down stairs, Castle was just putting the omelets on the plate.

"Ah there's my two favorite ladies. Everything alright?" he asked.

"Yes dad. Kate just came to ask me if I wanted to go dress shopping with her and Lanie next Saturday. I'm going to need your credit card." Alexis said nonchalantly as she grabbed her plate.

"If I didn't know any better, I would begin to question whether or not you are just using me for my money and Kate is really your favorite." Castle said, squinting his eyes and brandishing a spatula at his daughter.

"Oh don't worry dad, there is definitely no question, Kate is definitely my favorite." Alexis said with a smirk as she walked off to sit on the couch.

Castle stood there, his jaw hanging open as his daughter walked away.

"Close your mouth Castle before you start catching flies." Kate said as she reached over, pushing his mouth shut before grabbing her plate and walking over to join Alexis.

Castle tried really hard to be hurt, he really did, but as he looked at the scene in front of him, Kate and Alexis curled up on his couch, laughing over something on his TV, he couldn't be mad if he wanted to.

He really liked what he was seeing.

* * *

**A/N:** I have had a sudden bout of inspiration hence the four chapters I've cranked out today. Hope you like them and there will definitely be more to come:)

Review please!


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52:

The next week passed by a lot faster than Beckett expected.

They caught a body on Monday, but it was an open closed, ex-boyfriend gets jealous and shoots the new boyfriend. They had the case closed by Tuesday night and the paperwork finished by Wednesday afternoon. After that it seemed that the murders of New York City decided to take a break for once and they didn't catch anymore murders and Gates seemed to be in a good mood and gave the team the rest of the weekend off. They didn't waste any time getting out of there before Gates changed her mind.

Kate hadn't stayed at her apartment since the night before they were interrupted by Lanie. They would wake up early each morning so that they could swing by her apartment before work so Kate could shower and change clothes, but by Tuesday, Kate realized that it was a waste of time for them to keep coming back here each morning just so she could shower so much to Castle's delight, she packed a bag of clothes for the rest of the week.

She hadn't gone back to her apartment since, which was a first.

Kate had never been in a relationship where she could handle more than a few days with the man she was in a relationship with. That's why she had never moved in with any of them. She valued her space, but the more time she spent at Castle's the less she wanted to go home.

Castle didn't come in on Thursday and Friday because she just had paperwork to do and he had to get some writing done. As she sat there doing paperwork, she was trying to convince herself to go home, to get some space, but at the end of the day she always found herself back at Castle's curled up on the couch in ratty sweats and one of his t-shirts watching TV or reading.

There were times when they weren't even together. Alexis would be upstairs doing homework and Castle would either be making calls to his publisher or working with a new case of inspiration and Kate would just curl up on the couch with a good book.

She liked it at Castle's and that's where she was on Saturday when she her alarm went off letting her it was time to get up for her day with Alexis and Lanie.

Rolling out of bed, Kate pulled on one of Castle's oversized sweatpants, rolling them so the fit snuggly on her hips and slipped on one of his t-shirts. She absolutely loved wearing his clothes. They smelled like him and on more than one occasion she was pretty sure he had caught her sitting in front of the TV sniffing whatever shirt she currently had on. He never said anything, but she could tell he liked the idea of her wearing his clothes as much as she liked wearing them, so she didn't even hesitate when she rolled out of bed every morning and went in search of something of his to wear.

Walking into the kitchen, she smiled at the sight of Castle standing in front of the stove, cooking some pancakes.

Walking over to him, she wrapped her hands around him from behind, burying her head into his back and inhaling. Actually smelling him was much better than his clothes.

"Morning." She mumbled.

"Morning beautiful." Castle said as he turned around to give her a good morning kiss.

Letting go of him, she moved back around the corner and took a seat, a cup of coffee immediately appearing in front of her.

"What are you doing up so early?" she said as she took a sip of her coffee, eyes closing at the feeling of the warm liquid making it's way down her throat.

"I figured you and Alexis wouldn't be getting back here until later tonight so I figured I'd get up and have breakfast with you guys before you ditched me the entire day." Castle said with a pout at the last part.

"Aw. Poor baby. What are you planning on doing today?" Kate asked as he put some pancakes on her plate.

"Oh, maybe get some writing done, then I thought I would have the boys over for some video games. I figured Esposito would be lost without Lanie and I remember Ryan mentioning something about Jenny being out of town this weekend." He said with a shrug as he plated some pancakes for Alexis and himself as the young teenager came bounding down the stairs already dressed.

"Morning Dad, Kate." She said, giving them both a hug.

"Morning pumpkin. Ready for shopping?" he asked as he dug into his pancakes.

"Definitely. I just hope I can find something, seeing as how this is all last second." Alexis said.

"Don't worry Alexis. You're going shopping with Lanie. If there is one thing I know about that woman, it's that she knows the shopping world like the back of her hand, we will find you something." Kate said as her phone started to go off. "Speak of the devil." She said as she showed them her phone, which was now flashing with Lanie's picture.

"Beckett."

"Girl, come open your damn door before I drop breakfast." Lanie barked.

"Huh?" Kate asked confused.

"I'm standing in front of your door with breakfast. I've been knocking for the past five minutes and you aren't answering." Lanie elaborated.

"Uh, Lanie. I'm at Castles…" Kate said, trying to hold back her laughter at the images popping in her head of her best friend standing in her hallway, balancing coffee and breakfast sandwiches while she knocked on the door.

"Again? You were there the other night too." Lanie whined.

"I know. I've still got to shower, but you can come hang out here and wait if you want. Alexis is already ready and I should be ready in about a half an hour." Kate said, finishing up her pancakes.

"Girl, you're getting awfully comfortable over there, inviting people to hang out like you own the place. Something you need to tell me?" Lanie asked in her 'give me the details" voice.

"No Lanie. I've got to go. Just knock when you get here, someone will answer I'm sure." Kate said before hanging up on her friend before she could say anything else.

"Everything okay?" Castle asked as he cleared their plates.

"Yeah, Lanie came over to my place this morning with breakfast only to find out that I wasn't there. She is going to make her way over here, so let her in when she gets here, I'm going to go shower." She said, leaning over the counter to give him a kiss before heading off to the bedroom.

A half hour later, Kate walked out of the bedroom, pulling on a jacket as she entered the living room to see Castle sitting on the couch with his laptop perched on his lap and Lanie and Alexis sitting at the counter looking through some sort of catalog.

"Hey Lanie." Kate said as she approached the counter to see that they were pouring over a magazine, circling different styles of dresses.

"Hey girl. Ready to go?" she asked as she stowed the magazine back in her bag.

"Yup." She said.

"Bye dad!" Alexis said as she ran over to the couch to give her dad a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

"Bye pumpkin. Good luck. Got my card?" he asked.

"Of course dad. We went over this the other day. The only reason me and Kate like you is for your money. We might just have to rob you one day and get rid of you all together." Alexis said.

"You wound me daughter." Castle said as he clutched his chest in mock pain.

Alexis just laughed as she went to pull her coat on.

"Bye." Kate said to Castle as she leaned over his laptop and pulled him into a kiss.

"Mmm. Bye." He mumbled, before capturing her lips one more time as she went to pull away.

"Are they always like this?" Lanie asked Alexis as the young teenager came up next to her.

"You might disgustingly sweet and touchy? Yeah." Alexis said.

"It's about damn time." Lanie said with a smirk.

Alexis just laughed. "Dad, we have to go. Let Kate go." She scolded as she shivered in disgust.

Castle just chuckled as he let her go. "I'll miss you." he said.

"I'll miss you too. Love you." she said wiping some lipstick off his mouth.

"Love you too." He said with a big grin as she walked away and disappeared out the door with Alexis and Lanie.

It wasn't before they were in the elevator before Kate noticed Lanie staring at her.

"You two should just run away to Vegas and get married already." Lanie said with a smirk as Alexis chuckled.

"Shut up." Kate mumbled as they made their way to the car Castle had arranged for them for the day so they wouldn't have to worry about their bags.

When they were almost to their first destination, Lanie nudged Alexis and nodded over to Kate who was looking at her phone, smiling.

"Ten bucks she's texting your dad." Lanie said.

"That's not a bet I'll take. They text each other when they are sitting on the couch next to each other when we are all watching a movie." Alexis said with a smirk.

"I can hear you two you know?" Kate said shooting them a glare.

"Well maybe if you joined the conversation then we wouldn't be talking about you." Lanie said raising her eyebrow.

"Sorry. Castle said not to get dinner. He's going to cook us all dinner for when we get back. We just have to give him a half hours notice." Kate said as she typed out a quick meal and then put her phone back in her purse just as they were pulling up in front of one of the famous boutiques they felt they would have the most luck at.

An hour and a half later, Kate made her way outside to call the car around while Lanie and Alexis paid for the dress she decided on along with shoes and all the essentials she needed to go along with, most of which Lanie insisted she needed.

She was just hanging up her phone and ready to turn back into the store, but was stopped by someone calling her name.

"Kate?"

Crap. She would know that voice anywhere.

Turning around she was faced with the sight of Josh walking towards her. The last time she saw him was in the hospital when she told him she couldn't marry him and it was implied that it was because of the man who was currently her reason for being in the hospital.

"Josh. Hi." She said trying to force what she hoped was a convincing smile.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm good. Really good." She said.

"That's good. How's Castle?" he asked obviously fishing.

"He's good. Healed up nicely. What brings you into town?" Kate asked.

"Oh, I had to do some last minute shopping. I'm heading back to Africa for a couple months." He said.

"Cool." Beckett said, looking down at the ground. She would rather be doing anything other than talking to Josh.

"Well, I'll let you get back to… whatever you're doing." Josh said, sensing her discomfort.

"Yeah. Thanks." Kate said.

"Yeah. Nice seeing you." he said and with that he turned around and left right as Lanie and Alexis came out of the store.

"Was that Josh?" Lanie asked as she came up next to her.

"Yeah." Kate said.

"What did he want?" Lanie asked.

"Just said hi. I didn't even notice him. He was practically running down the street calling my name. I tried to duck back into the store, but he caught up to me before I could." Kate said.

"That must have been awkward. The last time you saw him was in the hospital right?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah, when he proposed to me." Kate said.

"Wait, he proposed to you?" Alexis asked, shocked. She knew the Detective had still been with the doctor when her dad was shot, but she always just thought they broke up. Her dad never mentioned anything about a proposal.

Kate's eyes widened when she realized she had been talking in front of Alexis. "Uh, yeah. When you're dad was in the hospital." Kate said, trying to find the words to explain to her what had happened.

If she was being honest, she couldn't really think of a god enough reason to convince herself as to why she was still with Josh except that she was hiding from Castle and that didn't seem to be something she should tell his daughter.

Sensing her discomfort, Alexis quickly came to her rescue. "Kate, you don't need to explain. Trust me. You've spent the past week with my dad at the precinct and stayed at the loft the entire time, anyone who can spend that much time with my dad and not get tired of him is completely and absolutely in love with him, plus it's written all over your face every time you look at him." Alexis said with a smile at the look on the detectives face as she went and got into the car.

"Damn girl. You go to Castle's every night after work? What do you just go home long enough to sleep?" Lanie said with a smirk.

"Uh, no." Kate said, breaking out of her thoughts. "I kind of haven't been home since I left after we had our talk."

"YOU'VE BEEN AT CASTLE'S FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK?" Lanie practically yelled.

"Shut up!" Kate said, looking around to make sure no one heard her.

"Sorry, but seriously girl, you always need your alone time. You spend two days with a guy and you complain about losing your independence or whatever." Lanie said.

"I know." Kate said with a smile.

"You really love him, don't you?" Lanie asked, smiling at how happy her friend looked.

"I really do. Now come on. We have a girls day planned." Kate said pulling Lanie into the car.

* * *

**A/N:** I know that you guys wanted a big dress shopping day and everything, but honestly, fashion is the last thing I know about haha, but don't worry we will have some more fun lanie/alexis/kate/castle time at dinner

Enjoy!


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53:

It was a little after 6:30 when Lanie, Alexis, and Kate made their way into the loft, loaded down with all their shopping bags. Kate and Lanie dropped theirs in the door way while Alexis took hers directly upstairs.

"I don't think we are going to be eating dinner anytime soon." Lanie said as she made her way into the living room.

"Why?" asked Kate as she joined her and looked in the direction Lanie nodded her head.

Castle was sitting in the same place he was that morning when they left him. His laptop was still on his lap, but his head was lulled back against the couch, mouth hanging open, sleeping. The only sign that he had actually moved was the fact that he was now wearing a pair of faded jeans and not the sweatpants he had on this morning.

Lanie thought it was amusing.

Kate thought it was adorable, which she thought she was hiding, but obviously not enough.

"Girl, you're glowing. You're sickening. You are like a love sick teenager." Lanie said with a laugh.

"Shut up." Kate said, smacking her friends arm.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would just like to say I told you so. Now go wake up you're man. I am starving and he promised me dinner." Lanie said as she made her way into the kitchen.

With a shake of her head at her friend's antics, Kate made her way over to the couch, wrapping her arms around him from behind as she bent over and started peppering his jaw with light kisses to jar him from his sleep.

When that didn't work, she made her way up to his ear and started nibbling lightly on it.

That did the trick.

"Mmm. Don't stop." Came Castle's groggy, sleepy voice.

Kate didn't stop. Instead she reached up and twisted his ear, effectively waking him up.

"Ow! What was that for?" He asked as he reached up to rub his sore ear.

"We all came home expecting dinner." She said with her eyebrows raised, arms on her hips.

"Oh right. Sorry, I must have fallen asleep and missed your text. Take out?" he asked with a puppy dog look on his face, hoping she would forgive him.

"You're lucky you are so adorable. Otherwise you would be in so much trouble." Kate said as she walked over to where he was standing and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Adorable? I prefer ruggedly handsome." Castle said as he too wrapped his arms around her.

"Hmmm, I'll have to think on that one." She said with a smile as she closed the distance between them in an all consuming kiss.

"Missed you." she said when they pulled apart.

"I missed you too." He said, peppering light kisses all over her face making her laugh.

"I don't mean to interrupt you're little love fest here, because we all know it's taken you two long enough to get here, but this girl needs some food." Lanie said as she came into the room.

"Sorry Lanie." Castle said as he went to pull away, only to be pulled back one more time as Kate gave him when more kiss.

"I'm not." She said with a smirk as she patted his chest and pushed him into the kitchen to order their dinner.

"Wine?" Kate asked as she turned to Lanie who was now sitting on the couch watching the exchange.

"Please." Lanie said.

Lanie watched her friend retreat into the kitchen and walk around getting the wine and glasses prepared like she had been doing it her whole life.

What amused her even more was the fact that both her and Castle would make sure they touched each other somehow whenever they were close enough and she was pretty sure they didn't even realize what they were doing.

There was the way Castle's fingers brushed against Kate's longer than necessary when he took the wine bottle to open it for her, or the way that Kate placed her hand on Castle's hip to let him know she was there as she reached to get three wine glasses, or the way that Castle gave her a kiss on the cheek when he handed her the wine bottle and then immediately placed his hand on the small of her back as he went back to placing his order on the phone.

When Kate came back into the living room with a huge smile on her face Lanie couldn't resist.

"You two were awfully domestic in there." She said nodding her head in the direction of the kitchen.

"I was just getting wine." Kate said defending herself as she sat down on the couch.

"Like you own the place. You should seriously just move in already." Lanie suggested.

"We've just started dating. We haven't reached that point yet Lanie." Kate said as they both turned their heads at the sound of Alexis coming down the stairs towards them.

"Hey Kate, where's my dad?" she asked.

"He's in the kitchen ordering dinner. He fell asleep so he didn't get the chance to make dinner." Kate said.

"I told you we should have set an alarm. He always falls asleep when he spends the day writing. Anyway, Paige called and wanted to know if I could go see a movie. Is it okay if I can go?" she asked the detective.

"Yeah, I think that will be okay. Do you want us to save you some dinner?" Kate asked.

"No, we will probably get something after the movie." Alexis said.

"Okay, be home at a reasonable time." Kate said as Alexis made her way to the door.

"Please Kate. You know I'll be home by 11." Alexis said with a laugh.

Kate just laughed. "Have fun."

"You too. Bye Lanie, thanks for coming today." Alexis said as she disappeared out the door.

Lanie just sat there and watched the whole scene, her jaw hanging open.

Kate looked over at her and raised her eyebrows in a silent 'what?' but at that moment Castle came into the living room.

"Was that Alexis I just saw leave?" he asked.

"Yeah, Paige called and asked her if she wanted to go see a movie. I told her it was alright as long as she was home by a decent hour." Kate said.

"Okay. Hey where's my wine?" he asked, brushing off Kate's answer about Alexis like it was normal.

"You left it in the kitchen." Kate said pointing to the bottle of wine and empty wine glass sitting on the counter.

"Oh yeah." He said disappearing from the room.

"You want to tell me what that was all about?" Lanie asked as she crossed her arms. Her friend had definitely been holding out on her.

"What?" Kate asked tearing her eyes away from Castle and looking at her friend.

"That little exchange with Alexis." Lanie clarified.

"Oh. If Alexis wants to go somewhere, she just has to ask Castle, Martha or myself depending on who is around and what we are doing." Kate said with a shrug.

Lanie just raised her eyebrow, silently telling Kate to explain how this arrangement came about.

"Castle had a case of writers block last weekend. When we were working on the case on Tuesday, he had a sudden stroke of inspiration so when we came home, he went to his study to write before he lost it all. I was curled up on the couch reading a book and didn't notice Alexis come down the stairs before it was too late and she was already in the office asking Castle if she could go hang out with Ashley. She didn't know he was having writers block because she was with her friends the weekend before, but by the time Alexis was done explaining who she was going with, where they were going, what they were doing, and what time she would be home, all the ideas Castle had were long gone. Alexis left and Castle came out frustrated so we decided that since I was spending more time around the loft, we decided that she just had to ask one of the three of us that way if Castle wasn't home or was writing like he was, she wouldn't have to worry about interrupting him." Kate explained.

"Not there yet my ass!" Lanie exclaimed.

"Who's not where yet?" Castle asked as he came into the living room.

Kate's eyes got wide, silently pleading for her friend not to tell him what hey were really talking about.

"My girl here was just telling me how she isn't nearly drunk enough to tell me some of the stories about what the two of you have gotten into. I believe Alexis mentioned something about a pizza fight?" Lanie said as she watched her friend visibly relax.

"Ahhh, lucky for you, I am able to tell stories without a copious amount of alcohol." Castle said with a wink as there was a knock on the door. "But first food." He said as he stood up to get the food.

"Thank Lanie." Kate said when Castle was out of earshot.

"Oh, don't worry. Now I get those stories you've always refused to tell me." Lanie said with a smirk as Castle appeared back in the living room with Chinese and began placing the containers on the table in front of their respective owners.

Lanie was surprised when she opened her container only to find her favorite.

"Writer boy, how did you know my favorite Chinese food? Been stalking me?" Lanie asked.

"No. One day when I first started following Kate, she was talking to you and mentioned something about coming over after work with a bottle of wine and Chinese. Then later that day she placed the order when she was getting ready to leave. I knew what kind of Chinese she liked so I used my crazy good detective skills to figure out that the other one must have been yours." Castle said.

"Okay, I can give you that, but why remember it all this time?" Lanie asked.

"I wanted to do whatever I could to help Kate." Castle said with a shrug.

"By remembering my Chinese order? Does she have some kind of short term memory loss I don't know about?" Lanie said glancing to her friend who seemed just as intrigued to know why Castle knew her Chinese order.

Castle sighed and ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"I figured out pretty quickly that Kate's comfort food on a rough day was Chinese. I also figured out pretty quickly that all I wanted to do was help her, to make whatever was bothering her go away so she would smile again, but that wasn't my place, it was yours. She would go to you when ever she needed to talk to someone so I had to look for some other way to help her, to make things easier for her so when I figured out that she would always get Chinese for you two before she came over, I would call ahead when I knew she was most likely heading to you so she wouldn't have to wait. I figured if I can't help her, I would get her to the person who could as fast as I could." Castle said.

"Damn. Where can I find me one of you?" Lanie said.

Kate looked a little stunned and quickly busied herself with her food so that Castle wouldn't see the fact that her eyes were a little watery.

Castle obviously sensed this because he quickly changed the subject.

"So, about these stories." Castle said with a smile.

An hour later, laughter was filling the loft as Lanie and Beckett cracked up as Castle told them the story of how he basically marked his territory when Alex Conrad showed an interest in Beckett followed by Beckett telling them the story of how Natalie Rhodes thought Castle was gay because he wouldn't sleep with her, much to Castle's horror.

When the last of their second bottle of wine was gone, Lanie stood up and made her way to the door.

"As fun as today was, I have to work in the morning and if I don't get some sleep, the dead bodies I have in my morgue will look more alive than I am." She said.

Kate and Castle followed her to the door where Castle wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her back into his chest so she was leaning on him as she wrapped her arms around his.

"Thanks for coming. I don't think I would have been much help in the whole, picking out a dress thing." Kate said.

"You know me, can't pass up the opportunity to shop." Lanie said with a wink.

Kate and Castle just chuckled.

"I called a car for you Lanie so you won't have to worry about getting all your bags into a cab." Castle said.

"Thanks Castle. See ya, girl." Lanie said before disappearing out of the door.

When the door was shut, Kate turned around before wrapping her arms around Castle's waist and burying her head into his chest.

"I saw Josh today." She said hesitantly.

"Oh yeah?" Castle asked, not knowing where she was going with this.

"Yeah. I was outside the store calling the car and he came running down the sidewalk calling my name. I just thought I should tell you. I didn't want you to think I was hiding anything." Kate said, looking into Castle's eyes only to find him looking at her with tenderness and care.

"Are you okay?" Castle asked only to see confusion in Kate's eyes.

"I just tell you I saw my ex and you ask if I'm okay?" Kate asked confused.

Castle chuckled. "I trust you Kate. I know you love me and I love you. That being said, I know you, at one point or another, loved Josh and you probably still care about him in some ways and the last time you saw him was when you told him you couldn't marry him. Seeing him again, it was probably hard for you, so yes. I'm asking you if you are okay."

"I'm perfect. You're a good man Richard Castle. A really good man." She said, reaching up to cup his jaw and caress his cheek with her thumb.

"I've got to be the best for the best." Castle said with a smile as he leaned down and gave her a soft peck on the lips.

"C'mon writer boy, I'm exhausted. Let's go to bed." She said as she pulled him to the bedroom.

As Kate laid their, a half an hour later, staring at the ceiling as she listened to the soft snore coming from her partner next to her, she thought about what Lanie said earlier about moving in and that's when she realized something that should have scared her.

She already considered the loft home.

* * *

**A/N:** Well there we go.

Question for you all? Do you think I should continue with just making this story one big story, or somehow split it up into two different stories?

Enjoy!


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54:

To say it had been a long day would be an understatement.

They were already running low on sleep after catching two murders the previous day and it felt like they had barely gotten any sleep when her phone was going off with the address for another body and so they were off again.

From there it just got worse.

On her way back into the precinct, she ran into an officer right after Castle handed her a coffee, and of course it not only spilled all over her shirt, but also on her pants. She just had to wear beige today. When she went down to her locker for a change of clothes she knew she kept there, she opened it to find it empty. That's when she remembered she brought her clothes home to clean them after her last emergency clothes change and she never brought them back.

Not wanting to sit in a coffee stained clothing all day, especially when she would be meeting with family members of the victims later that afternoon, she sent Castle to her place to get her a change of clothes, which of course caused the teasing to start from not only Ryan and Esposito, but also the other officers who had been way to involved with the duo's relationship from the start. That was until she snapped, yelling at them to get back to their work before she made them sorry that they ever became cops.

By the time Castle returned with her change of clothes neatly hanging up in a garment bag to keep them from getting wrinkled, she had cooled down and was in a better mood, especially when she opened the bag in the locker room to find a single red rose with a note from Castle simply saying 'I love you'.

As she walked out of the locker room with a smile on her face for the first time she thought her day was going to turn out for the better and it was until they hit a wall.

They knew who the killer was and even had him locked up in holding, but everything they had on him was circumstantial and since they couldn't find anything concrete, they had to let him go when they realized the had nothing to charge him with. This of course, didn't make Gates very happy, which she made very clear when she chewed Beckett out when she found out they just let their killer walk

After returning to the murder board, her earlier foul mood was back with a vengeance and after one too many crazy theories from Castle, who was just trying to lighten the mood, she snapped at him, telling him she didn't have time for idiotic theories from some writer pretending to play cop, before turning back to the board. The moment she said it she regretted it, but when she turned back around, Castle was no longer in his chair next to her desk. Looking around, she found him just in time to see the elevators closing on a very hurt Castle. She wanted to go after him, especially when she knew how insecure he was when it came to being considered a part of the team, but when she went to follow him she saw Gates watching her out of the corner of her eye so she had no choice but to stay.

An hour later, they finally caught a break when Lanie found a hair follicle on the victim that matched the DNA of their suspected killer and another hour later they had a confession and were just putting the finishing touches on the paperwork they had to have to send to the DA in the morning.

When she finished filling out the last form, she turned off her computer, bidding the boys a good night before making her way to the elevator intent on going home.

That's when she realized she had every intent on going back to the loft only to realize that Castle might not want her there, especially after what she said to him earlier that day, so she sent him off a text asking him if he wanted her to come over.

As she drove in the direction of his loft, she kept checking her phone, hoping she got a reply before she got to the point where she would have no other choice but to head home because it was her last chance to change directions. When that reply didn't come, she pointed her car in the direction of home with a disappointed sigh.

An hour later, Beckett was lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, becoming more and more frustrated with each passing minutes. She took a shower, thinking the hot water pelting her aching muscles would help her relax, which it did, but she couldn't get the thought of her head that this isn't where she wanted to be, this wasn't home. Home was across town. Home was in Castle's bed, snuggled up next to him, his arms wrapped around her like he never wanted to let her go. Home wasn't here in this cold, lonely apartment.

With a frustrated sigh, she rolled out of bed, intent to get something to drink that would hopefully help her fall asleep.

As she crossed the living room and made her way into the kitchen, there was a knock on the door.

Glancing at the clock, she noticed that it was after midnight. There was only one person who would come knocking on her door at this hour of the night and her thoughts were confirmed when she made her way over to the door, pulling it open to reveal a disheveled looking Castle, tears threatening to spill free from his eyes.

"She's leaving." He said, brushing past her and into the apartment.

"What?" Kate asked, thoroughly confused as she shut the door and turned to follow him into the living room where he was now pacing back and forth across the room.

"Alexis. She got her acceptance letter today from Stanford accepting her into the early admissions program. My little girl is leaving." Castle said as the tears he had been trying to hold back finally spilled over, running down his cheeks.

Kate didn't know what to say as her heart broke for the man standing in front of her so she did the only thing she could think of, she crossed the room in three large strides and pulled him into her arms, wrapping her hands around his neck as she gently stroked his hair, comforting him as he cried.

Kate wasn't sure how long they stood there, but eventually Castle's breathing evened out and he pulled back from her arms.

"Sorry." He said, slightly embarrassed.

"Hey, there is no reason for you to be sorry." Kate said as she wiped the remnants of the tears from his face. "She's your daughter, it's been the two of you for a long time. It is perfectly understandable for you to be upset." She said as she pulled him to the couch pulling him down so she was sitting in the corner of the couch and he was laying down, his head on her lap, her fingers running through his hair, knowing it calmed him down.

"I knew this was coming. When she told me she was planning to graduate early so she could go to Stanford in the spring, I knew it was coming. I mean, she's sent her entire life working as hard as she could so she could make sure that she could get into any college she wanted, but when I came into the loft and saw her and mother all excited about something I asked what was going on. She showed me the letter and I was happy for her, but it felt like my whole life was crashing down around me. I kept on a smile for her, I didn't want her to know how much it was bothering me, but she's leaving. She's going to be on the other side of the country. I'm only going to get to see her on holidays and during the summer if she even decides to come home during the summer. Who knows? She might just decide to stay there. I waited until she went to bed and then I came straight here. What am I going to do?" Castle said as his eyes once again began to water.

"You're going to make the most out of the time you have left. You're going to answer her questions, help her pack, take her to Stanford, help her set up her room, and you are going to say goodbye. I know it's going to be hard, I know it sucks to see you're little girl grow up, but you are going to have to let her go. She isn't leaving forever and you are going to see each other more than you think. She loves you and she is going to miss you just as much as you are going to miss her. She is going to be scared too and she is going to need her dad. And guess what? You won't have to go through it alone. I will be there with you every step of the way if you want me there." Kate said as she wiped his eyes with her thumb.

"Really? You mean you'll come with me to California if I want you there?" Castle asked, hope shining in his eyes at the idea of not having to be alone after he said goodbye to Alexis.

"If you want me there, I will be right there with you the entire time." Kate said with a comforting smile.

"I love you, you know that right? I have no idea what I did to deserve you." Castle said.

"I love you too. And you want to know what you did, you were you, you stuck with me and always had my back and now I am going to do the same for you." Kate said.

"Thank you." Castle mumbled.

"Always."

They sat in silence for about five minutes. Castle's eyes were closed and Kate thought he might have fallen asleep, but then his voice filled the apartment.

"Do you really think she is going to come back for more than just holidays?" he asked.

"I have no doubt in my mind. Besides if she doesn't, we are just going to have to go see her ourselves." Kate said confidently.

"We?" Castle asked opening his eyes to look at her.

"Yes, we. I'm going to miss her too Castle. After all she is the reason I'm in this relationship." She said with a smirk.

"Oh, you wound me detective." Castle said, even as his eyes shined with the fact that she would want to go see his daughter just as much as he would.

"I'm sorry for earlier." Kate said with a sigh as she finally voiced at the guilt that had been nagging her since he left the precinct.

"Huh?" Castle asked sleepily.

"For what I said at the precinct. I didn't mean it and I shouldn't have said it. I know you feel like you don't help out with the team and I shouldn't have used that against you, especially when I know it's not true. You help more than you know and we wouldn't have solved half the cases we have solved if it wasn't for you. So I'm sorry. I was just frustrated and having a bad day and I just got yelled at by Gates and I just snapped. It's not an excuse, but I just thought you should know." Kate said waiting for his earlier anger to flare.

"Hey, I know you didn't mean it. Yeah, it hurt when you said it, but I knew you didn't mean it. I was going to come back after I gave you some time to cool down, but then when I got to the loft the whole college thing happened and I got sidetracked." Castle said as he sat up and pulled her into his arms.

"How can you always just forgive me like its nothing when I do something wrong?" Kate asked.

"Because while there are some things you do to hurt me, I have done so much more and so much worse to you and at the end of the day the only thing that matters to me is that I love you and when it comes down to it, I want to go to sleep with you in my arms and wake up with you in my arms in the morning. So I let it go. Especially when I know that most of the time, you only said it because you were angry at a different situation and I probably did something to push one too many buttons." Castle said.

"Now I'm the one who doesn't know what I did to deserve you." Kate said.

"That's simple. You're extraordinary."


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55:

It had been well past two in the morning when Castle and Beckett had finally gotten to sleep so when her alarm went off the next morning, it took an unordinary amount of energy to pull herself out of bed and into the shower.

She knew Castle was already gone. He told her about the last minute book signing Gina had set up for him the other day so they made plans to meet for dinner at Remy's later that night.

Barely paying attention to what she was doing she finished with her shower before pulling on the first thing she could find that was acceptable before making her way into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, only to find there were no more coffee beans. The combination of staying at Castle's along with the fact that Castle would bring her coffee when she didn't stay at her place, she didn't have the time to get some more.

With a frustrated sigh, she put on her coat, grabbed her gun and badge and made her way to the precinct.

Trudging into the bullpen, she noticed that there was a delivery boy standing at her desk.

"Can I help you?" she asked as she approached her desk, dropping her things on top of it as she pulled out her chair to sit down.

"Are you Detective Kate Beckett?" he asked.

"I am."

"These are for you." he said holding out a steaming cup of coffee and a bear claw.

Noticing her confusion he added, "They are already paid for and there is a note in the bag with the bear claw." With that he turned and was on his way out the door.

Taking a sip of her coffee, she smiled. There is only one person who can make her coffee like that.

Opening the bag, her suspicions were confirmed when she pulled out a note that simply read "_To KB from RC_"

Pulling out her phone she pulled out her phone and sent him a quick text thanking him for the coffee before pulling the nearest stack of paperwork towards her so she could get started.

She was half way through the first pile when her phone buzzed, letting her know she had a text message.

**Castle: You are very welcome. I was going to just make you some, but you've seem to run out. I didn't want to subject the boys to Beckett without her morning coffee;) **

If he had been there she would have smacked him knowing she wouldn't be able to contain her smile as she did so. She knew what she was like when she didn't have her coffee and honestly, she wouldn't want to subject herself to herself.

**Beckett: I don't need coffee at my apartment. I have a very handsome gentleman that keeps me well supplied.**

Setting her phone down, she went back to her paperwork, waiting for a reply, which she got ten minutes later.

**Castle: Handsome huh? Not… I don't know… adorable? Anyway, I've got to go. Gina is shooting me dirty glances. I'm hiding my phone like a teenager in school, but I think she knows. Oh, lunch at Remy's 12? Alexis is making dinner, so those plans are thrown out the window. Love you!**

Beckett laughed as an image of him blindly signing books as he tried to type out a message with one hand under the desk came into her mind.

**Beckett: You're going to have to pay a visit to the principal's office later;) See you 12 if we don't catch a body.**

For the rest of the morning, Beckett busied herself with making a dent in the large amount of paperwork that had accumulated on her desk.

The next time she glanced up at her clock it was 11:30 and she decided it was a good a time as ever to take her lunch break, but fate seemed to think otherwise.

Just as she was getting into the elevator her phone started ringing. Hoping it was Castle she glanced down at it only to see Esposito's name flashing which met one thing.

They had a body,

"Beckett."

"Alright, I'll be there in fifteen." She said as she wrote down the address.

As soon as she hung up, she pulled up Castle's name and sent him off a quick text letting him know that they got a body so she was going to have to cancel lunch plans, but would see him later for dinner.

Thirty minutes later, due to an accident on her way there, she pulled up to the crime scene, pulling out her phone. She was a little surprised to see that Castle hadn't responded to her, but her thoughts were quickly pushed out of her mind as she went into Detective mode, ducking under the yellow crime scene.

She saw Lanie crouching over a body and went to make her way over to him when Esposito and Ryan blocked her path.

"Beckett, you don't need to see this one. We got it from here." Espo said, glancing nervously over his shoulder at Lanie.

"Yeah Becks, we'll meet you back at the precinct when we are done." Ryan added.

Beckett just rolled her eyes as she shoved her way past them. "Thanks for the warning guys, but I'm sure I'll be alright."

As she was approaching Lanie, the ME stood up and took a step to the side, unknowing to her friends approach.

The second Beckett saw the body, her face went white as a ghost and she suddenly found it extremely hard to breathe.

"Lanie…?" she gasped as she started to hyperventilate.

The ME glanced up at the sound of her name and when she saw who had called it her eyes immediately went wide at the sight of her friend pale as hell, eyes locked with the corpse at her feet and to her horror her friend started to sway. Luckily Ryan had chosen that moment to walk over and caught her, leading her to the ground where the detective continued to stare at the body.

"Kate, you need to take deep breaths. It's not him. I promise you it's not him." Lanie said as she moved to block Beckett's view from the body.

"Are.. are you sure?" Beckett asked, trying to look around her friend from her spot on the ground.

"I'm positive. It just looks a lot like him." Lanie said.

And it did. When Lanie first got there she thought it was Castle too. He was the right height, right weight, had clothes on that she knew Castle owned, even had the same hair style. To make matters worse, you couldn't make out his face due to the large gaping hole in it from whoever shot him. She felt relief wash over her when she found the man's ID in his pocket, but just to be sure she pulled out a blood typing kit, knowing Castle's blood type from the shooting, and it too confirmed that this man was not Richard Castle.

When Ryan and Esposito showed up and she quickly reassured them that this wasn't Castle, their thoughts immediately went to Beckett. They all agreed that it would be best if she didn't see the body at all, especially with Castle's shooting still being a difficult thing for her. They knew that even after they assured her it wasn't him, she would still be pretty shaken up from it, which they could now see as Beckett stood there, the color still missing from her face, her hands slightly shaking.

When she was finally able to pull her eyes away from the body, she turned to Esposito and Ryan who were eyeing her carefully.

"Do you guys think you can handle this one for now? I think I need to go see Castle." Beckett said. She hated herself, she hated that she had to step away from a case, but in the few moments she had thought the man lying on the ground really was Castle, her worst fears had come true and now that she knew it wasn't him, she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate for the rest of the day until she saw him.

"Yeah. No problem." Esposito said as Ryan nodded his head in agreement.

"Girl, I don't think you should be driving." Lanie said, still concerned about the detectives pale skin and shaking hands.

"I won't. He's at a book signing only a couple of blocks away from here. Can one of you bring my car back to the precinct? I'll get a ride with Castle or catch a cab if I need to." Beckett asked Esposito and Ryan who nodded before heading off to finish their jobs.

After assuring Lanie that she was fine, Beckett made her way back under the crime scene tape and made her way towards the book store Castle told her he was at.

When she got to the book store entrance, she went to make her way into the bookstore, but was stopped by a large man standing in the entrance with a clipboard.

"I'm not here to get a book signed. I'm Castle's partner. I just need to talk to him for a second." Kate said as she flashed the badge.

"Sorry ma'am. I have strict orders from Ms. Cowell not to let anyone into the bookstore no matter what. If you want to see Mr. Castle you are going to have to wait in line with everyone else." He said nodding his head to the long line that seemed to go on forever.

With a frustrated sigh, Beckett turned to walk away, but stopped when she heard her name.

"Kate?"

Turning around, she saw Martha walking towards her.

"Hi Martha." Kate said as the woman engulfed her in a hug.

"What brings you here?" Martha asked.

"Oh well I was called to a crime scene and the victim looked a lot like Castle and uh, never mind, it's stupid." Kate said, blushing.

"You needed to see him." Martha said, understanding what Kate wanted to say.

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I can't get in, even with my badge and I'm not about to wait in line." Kate said.

"Don't worry my dear!" Martha said as she grabbed the detectives hand and pulled her towards the door approaching the man that had turned her away a few minutes earlier only to once again be stopped.

"Ms. Rodgers, she can't go in there, I have strict orders from Ms. Cowell. I could lose my job." The man said.

"I'm his mother and the detective needs to see him. Don't you worry, Richard will talk with Gina." She assured the doorman before pulling Kate past him and into the bookstore.

Kate was planning to just get a glimpse of Castle and then head back to the precinct, but Martha obviously had other plans as she pulled her around the large crowd in the bookstore and off to the side of the table Castle was sitting at, straight towards Gina.

"Gina darling, please be a dear and let Richard know he has a visitor that needs to see him immediately." Martha said as she motioned towards Kate.

"Sorry Martha, but Detective Beckett is going to have to do her job without Rick today." Gina said coolly.

"That is not for you to decide. I am his mother and he is needed. I can assure you it is of a very high importance." Martha insisted.

"Martha. Really it's not a big deal." Kate said before Martha caused a scene.

"Then it's settled. If it's not important then she can wait. She isn't even supposed to be in here. I made sure of that." Gina said, venom dripping from her voice.

Castle had just finished signing another book when he heard Gina's raised voice. Glancing over in her direction she saw Gina standing there with her arms crossed, talking to her mother. But that's not what caught his attention.

What caught his attention was the fact that Kate was standing behind his mother and he knew instantly that something was wrong. Her arms were wrapped around herself, which was the sign that something had shaken her and she was trying to hold herself together and her face was as white as a ghost.

Quickly standing up, he excused himself from the table and made his way over to the group of women.

Martha was the first to see him and turned to him, her smile growing. "Ah, good, Richard Kate here needs to talk to you." she said once again motioning to the detective.

"Rick! You're in the middle of a book signing. You can't just leave your fans waiting. I'm sure the detective can handle her job just fine without you for one day. She doesn't need to be bothering you, like I pointed out earlier." Gina practically ordered.

Castle's hands clenched before he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Gina, I would like to remind you that this book signing was not part of my schedule and I didn't have to do it, but I graciously agreed because you asked me too. I told you once and I will tell you again, if Detective Beckett needs me, then she is my priority. Now if you'll excuse me." Castle said.

With that he grabbed Kate's hands and pulled her into a deserted office.

"What's wrong?" he asked once he closed the door to the outside world.

"It's nothing. Now I feel really bad. All your fans are waiting." Kate said glancing out the door to see the impatient fans.

"Kate, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here right now. I know you, if it was nothing you wouldn't have shown up here in the first place, especially looking like you just saw a dead body." Castle said.

At that last part, the little color that Kate had regained drained out of her face as her eyes snapped to his.

"Wait, is Alexis okay?" he asked suddenly worried.

Kate shook her head.

"Esposito? Ryan? Lanie?" he asked.

Again she shook her head.

"Than what is it?" he asked as he searched her eyes for clues.

"I thought it was you." she said quietly.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"I got called to a crime scene and the body looked just like you. It was only a couple of blocks from here, and Ryan and Esposito tried to stop me, and you didn't respond to my text. When I saw it, I thought it was you." Kate said as tears formed in her eyes.

"Oh Kate." Castle said as he pulled her into his arms. "I'm right here. I'm sorry I didn't answer your text. I didn't even know I got it. But I'm right here I'm okay."

Kate just nodded as she inhaled his scent, burying her face deeper in his chest as she felt the pounding rhythm of his heart against her cheek.

After five minutes passed, Castle pulled back and took her hand. "C'mon let's get out of here."

"Castle, no. You have fans who are waiting to see you. I'm fine." She insisted.

"But I'm not and I'm not taking no for an answer." He said as he pulled her out of the office and up to the front of the room, ignoring Gina's glares.

"Attention everyone, I would just like to say thank you for coming out today. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I have something very important to attend to and unfortunately it can't wait. I hope you enjoy my book and look forward to the next one." Castle announced before pulling her off the mini stage, back into the direction of a pissed off Gina and a smug looking Martha.

"Rick! You cannot leave your own book signing. You have a contract." Gina hissed.

"Like I said, this one isn't in my contract so yes I can leave and yes I will leave."

Without a second thought, Castle was pulling Kate through the back entrance and into a waiting car.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56:

"My place or yours?" Castle asked once the door to the car slammed shut and began to pull into traffic.

"Neither. I'm supposed to be working today and if I don't show up Gates won't be very pleased." Beckett said even though all she wanted to do was curl up next to Castle for the rest of the day.

"Are you sure?" Castle asked suspiciously. She obviously didn't hide her lack of desire to return to work very well.

"No. But I don't exactly have a choice in the matter. Just stay close, okay? I'm not ready to let you out of my sight just yet." She said as she snuggled into his side like she was trying to prove her point.

"I don't want to be anywhere else." He said as he snuggled his nose into her hair after placing a kiss on her temple.

They fell into a comfortable silence after that as the car crept its way through the heavy lunch time traffic, Castle running his fingers soothingly through Kate's hair while she traced patterns on the palm of his upturned hand.

It was their own little bubble of peace and quiet, until Castle's ringing phone effectively burst said bubble.

"Castle."

Kate couldn't hear who was on the other end of the line, but she could feel Castle instantly tense when whoever it was started talking.

"No. I'm not coming back Gina." Castle said, slightly annoyed.

Ah, the mystery voice was Gina trying to get him to come back.

"Like I said before when we were at the bookstore, if Detective Beckett needs me then she is my priority and right now, she needs me. I don't care how many times you threaten me with a breach of my contract. This was not part of the contract so you should feel lucky I did it in the first place." Castle said, his tone now going from annoyed to angry.

There was a few more minutes of silence as Gina very loudly yelled at Castle.

"Yes Gina. I know that this is my career we are talking about. But that's the thing, it's my career, not yours. As far as I'm concerned, I owe my career to detective Beckett and yes, while I do enjoy writing I would give it up in an instant if I had to choose. I'm sorry those fans had to wait for nothing, but I had to leave. Now I would appreciate it if you stopped calling me. If you need to reach me for some reason, you can either email me or have Paula call me. Goodbye." Castle said, hanging up his phone before she could say anything else.

"Are you sure you don't need to go back? I don't want you to get in trouble." Kate said after he hung up.

"I'm sure. Gina's pissed, but then again she always is when it comes to my relationship with you." Castle said with a chuckle.

"Why?" Kate asked a little taken aback.

'She's jealous of you." Castle said like it was obvious.

"Why me?" Kate asked.

"Like I told you before, Gina was only interested in Richard Castle, famous mystery novelist. When you came along, I barely knew anything about you and yet I knew I wanted to base a new character off of you, something Gina never got even though we were married. It sparked the jealousy in her and I don't think she ever let it go nor will she ever let it go and she makes sure I know how displeased she is when it comes to our relationship." Castle said.

"Then why do you keep her around?" Kate asked.

"As bitter as our personal relationship is, we work well together and she's the best at what she does. While she may not approve of our relationship, she doesn't have a say in it and I can ignore her." Castle said with a shrug.

"Why did you tell her to have Paula call you if she wanted to reach you? Won't she just tell Paula to order you to come back? Paula seems like the kind of person who thinks these public events are just as important as Gina does." Kate asked, remembering the brief meeting she once had with the agent.

"Oh she's probably already placed a dozen calls to Paula, but Paula won't call." Castle said confidently.

"How can you be so sure?" Kate asked.

"Because she gets it." Castle said.

"Okay castle, stop being so… you and spit it out." Kate said with one of her glares.

Castle chuckled. "Paula was one of the first people that called me on my feelings for you. it was at the first book launch part and she caught me staring at you. The first thing out of her mouth was 'she's special to you' or something like that. Of course it was followed by something along the lines of get it out of your system, but even so, she knew, and she still knows. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she knew we were together now."

When Kate's eyes widened at the last part, Castle quickly reassured her.

"Don't worry, Paula would never put something like that out there without my permission and I would never put that out there without yours." He said.

"Is that something you want? To put it out there/" Kate asked, a little afraid of his answer.

"Right now? No. I want you all to myself. This is real and I don't want it plastered all over page 6. However, we will eventually have to release something announcing our relationship, but when that comes, Paula will make it as painless as possible." Castle said.

Kate nodded, satisfied with that answer. "Can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Always." Castle replied.

"Why didn't you just get it out of your system?"

"Well, first of all, you rejected any and all of my advance, but mainly because I didn't want to. I meant what I said when I said you were extraordinary and at that point, I was already starting to fall in love with you. I knew that if something were to happen between us, I wouldn't want it to be just for one night, I would want to take you out on dates, wake up to you every morning, I would want you to seriously consider me as your one and done. You weren't something I could ever just get out of my system." Castle said.

"But that night, you seemed so… thrilled to be done with Nikki Heat, so thrilled to be moving on to a certain British spy?" Kate said, slightly confused as she remembered their conversation they had.

"Oh Kate, I love you, but sometimes you can be so dense. Don't get me wrong, I was excited for the offer to write about said certain British spy, I mean it was always my dream, and he was a major part of why I became a writer, but I was no where near ready to walk away from Nikki Heat, to walk away from you. That's where the 'get it out of your system' comment came from. Paula approached me asking me if she could give the go ahead on the new deal and I told her I wasn't sure I was ready to give up on Nikki." Castle said.

"But then why did you make those comments about being excited about leaving?" Kate asked.

"Well, honestly, before the party, I was talking to my mother and she was going on about how you would be relieved to get me out of your hair and then when I saw you at the book party and you asked me about the deal, you were going on and on about how there wasn't a reason for me to stick around and how much grief you've gotten because I wrote the book in the first place. I started to second guess myself, thinking I misread something along the way and our partnership didn't mean the same thing to you as it did to me so I guess I was just trying to save face?" Castle said.

"I remember wanting to tell you so badly not to go through with the deal that night. The grief I got for it was a bit overwhelming at first, but if it meant having you by my side every day, I was more than okay with that, but I couldn't tell you not to do something you dreamed of doing, especially when you got the deal and I guess I let my pride get the better of me and said some things I probably shouldn't have. Lucky for us that fate intervened." Kate said with a chuckle.

"First of all, I'm pretty sure you have told me on numerous occasions that you don't believe in fate. Second of all, I don't think I was ever so scared yet so excited in my life when I got that phone call. You looked like you were going to kill me." Castle said remembering the death glares she was giving him when they were on the phone.

"I think I was ready to kill you. I think I assumed that you had something to do with it, but when you told me you had no idea, that you just got the offer yourself, you honestly looked surprised so I decided I would let you off the hook and kill you another time." Kate said with a chuckle.

"Well, I'm glad I could convince you to temporarily suspend your plans of my demise." Castle said.

Kate laughed again before falling silent, contemplating her next question.

"You told Gina you would give up your writing for me." Kate said.

"I did." Castle replied.

"Would you really do that? I mean you love writing, its such a major part of who you are." Kate said.

"Don't get me wrong, I would miss it, but if continuing my writing meant loosing you forever, that isn't something I could handle. I need you in my life. I love you. Plus, I wouldn't be able to write if it wasn't for you. I don't know what it is, but when we are fighting or I don't get to see you for a long period of time, I just can't bring myself to write. I sit there for hours staring at a blank document, willing the words to come, but they don't. Like that summer when I was in the Hamptons, for the first time in my life, writing seemed like an actual job and not one I enjoyed. Even when I was writing Derek Storm, I was bored with it, but I was still having fun and still enjoyed writing. The only way I can think of to explain it is writing brings me joy, there is no doubt about that, but you, you bring me so much more joy and happiness and without that joy and happiness, I can't find joy and happiness in anything else, so yes if I was forced to chose between you and writing, I would chose you in an instant without a second thought." Castle explained.

Kate couldn't help but smile. "I'd do it too you know."

"Do what?" Castle asked, not following her train of thought.

"Give up being a cop." Kate clarified.

Really?" Castle asked, surprised.

"Yup. Don't get me wrong, I love being a cop and I don't think I could imagine my life where I don't wake up every morning and go into the precinct, but I can't go back to how my life was before you. I was just this walking shell, living in the shadows of my mom's murder and then you came along and bit by bit, you started to put me back together to the point where you are so much a part of me that I can't possibly survive without you. It would be hard at first, giving up a cop, but I know that I could do it if I had you, I couldn't continue being a cop or doing anything else for that matter if I didn't have you. So if I had to chose between the two of you, I would chose you too." Kate said.

"Wow." Was all Castle said before tilting up her head to kiss her, trying to convey all his unvoiced thoughts on the matter through the kiss. Unfortunately before things could get to heated, the car was pulling up in front of the precinct and they were forced to break apart and head in.

Fortunately, elevators were still one of Castle's favorite places.


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57:

When Castle and Beckett stepped off the elevator, Esposito and Ryan were no where to be seen. Judging by the fact that there was nothing on the murder board, they were probably still finishing up at the crime scene which meant paperwork for Beckett until they came back.

Beckett had just pulled a file towards her to get started on and Castle had just sunk into his chair after getting her coffee when Gates came storming out into the bullpen.

"Beckett! My office! Now!" Gates yelled before returning to her office.

Beckett glanced at Castle who just shrugged his shoulders before she made her way to the office, closing the door behind her just as Esposito and Ryan strolled into the bullpen.

"Detective Beckett. Please have a seat." Gates said, motioning to the chair in front of her desk.

With one more glance at Castle, who gave her an encouraging smile, Beckett took a seat, trying not to fidget under Gates' intense glare.

"Detective Beckett, I received a phone call from Detective Ryan letting me know that he had your vehicle because you had to step away. Is that correct/" Gates asked, still studying her over her glasses.

"Yes Sir." Beckett answered.

"And why did my lead detective feel the need to step away from a crime scene?" asked Gates.

"I got too close to the case and I felt it would be best to step away from the case temporarily to compose myself rather than continue on and risk the safety of my team." Beckett said.

'Did you know our victim?" Gates asked.

"No sir."

"Did the crime scene remind you of any previous cases in which you've had a personal connection to?" Gates asked.

"No sir." Beckett said once again.

"Then I don't see how the case could have affected you so much that you needed to step away, fearing the safety of your team." Gates pushed.

Beckett sat there for a minute, jaw clenched, not wanting to answer, but when Gates showed no signs of wavering, she let out a sigh, knowing she had no other choice.

"I thought our victim was Castle." Beckett answered reluctantly.

"Mr. Castle?" Gates questioned.

"Yes sir." Answered Beckett.

"And what led you to believe that the victim was Mr. Castle?" Gates asked.

"Castle was at a book signing in the area of the crime scene and he wasn't answering his phone which is highly unusual, even when he is at a book signing. Due to the nature of the crime, the facial features of the victim were unidentifiable. Therefore, I was immediately drawn to anything else that could help identify the victim. The height, weight, build, hair style, even the smallest detail like clothes all were very similar to Castle. It very well could have been him. Dr. Parish also initially thought it was him and had to resort to a blood typing test just to make sure it wasn't him." Beckett explained.

"And did Detective Ryan and Detective Esposito draw the same conclusions as you?" Gates asked.

"I'm not sure sir. They arrived at the crime scene before I did, but I can only assume that they did because they tried to persuade me to head back to the precinct when I arrived, saying that they were already almost done and could finish up without my help." Beckett said.

Gates nodded before standing up and making her way to the door.

"Detective Ryan, Detective Esposito, may I speak with you momentarily?" Gates asked, returning to her desk without waiting for an answer.

When Esposito and Ryan came into the office and closed the door behind them, Gates fixed them with her glare.

"Detective Beckett has informed me that our victim looks like Mr. Castle?" Gates asked.

"Yes Sir." They said.

"And you agree with her conclusion?" Gates asked.

"Yes sir. I thought it was Castle at first as well and only believed it wasn't when Dr. Parish informed me that the victim had the wrong blood type. Even then I was still a bit shaken and I'm not even his partner." Esposito said.

"I agree sir. I probably still wouldn't believe it if Castle wasn't sitting in the bullpen right now." Ryan added.

"Very well. And you believe it was in Detective Beckett's best interest to step away and compose herself?" Gates questioned.

"Yes sir. I know that if I thought the victim was my partner, I would have had to do the same." Esposito answered as Ryan nodded in agreement.

"Very well. Get back to work." Gates said clearly dismissing them.

When Esposito and Ryan left, closing the door behind them, shooting apologetic looks at Beckett, Gates turned her attention back to the detective remaining in her office.

"I take it that you went in search of Mr. Castle when you left the crime scene? Hates asked, glancing out the window at Castle who was not so subtly watching them.

"Yes sir. My intentions were to just pop into the book signing, see that he was okay myself, and then leave, but his mother noticed me and she can be a bit overwhelming. She dragged me into the bookstore and all but caused a scene. Of course by then Castle saw us and sensed that something was wrong. He pulled me aside and asked me what had happened and after I explained, we left the book signing after he explained to his publisher that we were leaving. He wanted to take me home because I was still pretty shaken, but I told him I was still supposed to be working and had to come back to the precinct, so we came back here." Beckett said.

Gates just watched her for a moment, like she was trying to figure something out before she spoke again. "Very well. Take the rest of the day off and I will see you back here in the morning."

"Sir, I don't need to take the rest of the day off, I'm fine to continue." Beckett protested.

"Detective, I'm not blind nor am I stupid. I know that Mr. Castle is more than just a partner to you and vice versa. As a happily married woman who has been in love for quite some time, I couldn't imagine facing the possibility of loosing my husband. That almost became a reality for you and Mr. Castle not too long ago so it is perfectly understandable that you are a bit shaken up." Gates said.

"Sir, me and Castle aren't together." Beckett tried to protest.

"Save it Detective. Like I said, I'm not blind. I have been on this force for a long time and there aren't many partners who would be willing to take a bullet for their partner, especially when they have families at home. Mr. Castle not only did that, but he isn't even a cop. It's clear that he loves you and judging by your reaction at the crime scene today coupled with the fact that you keep checking to make sure he really is okay shows me that his feelings are reciprocated. I'm guessing the only thing you will be able to focus on for the rest of the day is Mr. Castle, which is understandable, like I said before. So take the day off, clear your head and I'll see you tomorrow. Am I clear?" Gates asked.

"Yes sir." Beckett said.

"Oh and Detective, you know how I feel about relationships in the work place. Since Mr. Castle doesn't technically work here, you aren't breaking any rules, but keep it professional and if it becomes a problem, I'm going to have no choice but to kick Castle out." Gates said.

"Yes sir." Beckett said.

"Good. Now that we are clear, you are free to go. And take Mr. Castle with you, I don't have time to babysit him." Gates said right as Castle went zooming across the bullpen in her chair.

"Yes sir." Beckett said as she got up and exited the captain's office and made her way to her desk to grab her things.

"Where are we going?" Castle asked as he rolled over to her desk.

"Gates basically ordered me to take the day off and she said to take you with me, something about not being a babysitter for overgrown children." Beckett said with a smirk as she made her way to the elevator, not worrying about waiting for him, knowing he would catch up.

"Wait, why did she give you the day off?" Castle asked as he squeezed past the closing doors of the elevator.

"She said it was clear that I needed to clear my head. I apparently kept checking to make sure you were still there when she was talking to me." Beckett said.

"So all it takes is for you to keep looking at me and she gives you the day off." Castle asked.

"Well no, she kind of knows about us and gave me this whole speech about how you would be the only thing I could focus on for the rest of the day." Beckett said as the doors opened and she stepped out, crossing the lobby and exiting the precinct.

"Wait!" Castle said as he caught up to her. "How does she know about us?"

"Well, the fact that you jumped in front of a bullet seems to scream I love you." Kate said.

"Okay, that explains me, but how did she know it wasn't just one sided?" Castle asked.

"I may have gone rogue." Beckett said quietly hoping he wouldn't hear it. Of course he did.

"You went rogue?" Castle asked as they entered Remy's and sat at their usual table, the waitress already knowing their orders.

"Yes." Beckett said, staring everywhere but at Castle.

"What do you mean rogue?" Castle asked.

"Well, I kind of just left the crime scene. After I saw the body and thought it was you, I didn't stick around to process the scene even though I was lead detective. Since I left my car with the boys they had to let the Captain know." Beckett said.

"Oh my god. You went rogue for me!" Castle exclaimed as his whole face lit up.

"Shut up." Kate mumbled.

"You are so in love with me." Castle said smugly.

"I'm not so sure I am anymore." Beckett said with a smirk.

"C'mon! Admit it. You totally love me. I'll even go first. I, Richard Castle, am totally and madly in love with Katherine Beckett. There, I said it now it's your turn." Castle said.

"Castle." Kate said in her warning tone letting him know the conversation was over as their food arrived.

"Fine." Castle mumbled, looking down and digging into his food.

As they both ate in silence, Kate kept glancing at Castle, expecting him to return to his annoying five year old self with some other way to get her to say I love you, but every time she looked at him, he seemed to be really upset at the fact that she wasn't saying it, almost like he actually thought… oh, he actually thought she didn't love him.

"Rick." She said, waiting until he looked up.

"Hmm." He mumbled, a little coldly.

"I love you." she said with a warm smile.

"Yeah?" Castle asked, studying her to see if she was just saying it to avoid him being upset.

"So much." Kate said genuinely.

Castle's face broke out into a huge smile as he dug back into his meal, clearly happy with her response.

She was so in love with him.


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58:

Later that night, Beckett was relaxing on the couch while castle was cleaning up from dinner with Alexis when her phone buzzed on the coffee table, alerting her of a text message.

**Lanie: Hey, me, Javi, Kevin, and Jenny are going to the Old Haunt, you and writer boy in?**

**Beckett: I'm in, but what makes you think I can speak for Castle?**

**Lanie: Please girl. Like you AREN'T at his place right now. Are you two love birds coming or what?**

Kate just chuckled. She would make Lanie pay for that comment later.

"Hey Castle! Lanie wants to know if we want to meet them for drinks." She shouted loud enough so Castle could hear.

"If you think you're up for it, then I'm game." He shouted.

Kate smiled. He was always putting her first.

**Beckett: Castle's game. What time?**

**Lanie: Ha! I knew you were there! Have you even been home since you started dating? And eight,**

**Beckett: See you then. **

**Lanie: Don't think you are getting out of this!**

**Beckett: Whatever you say, Lanie!**

Shaking her head, knowing she was going to be subjected to questioning tonight, she got up to go find something to wear.

As she stood in front of the closest, in which had been rapidly growing with her clothes, she didn't notice castle follow her in until he was behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist.

"Whaccha doing?" he asked as he trailed wet, open mouthed kisses along her neck.

"Trying to decide what to wear." She said as she tilted her head to give him better access to her neck, a hum of satisfaction forming in her throat.

"Mmmm. Does that mean you have to take these clothes off?: Castle asked as his hands dipped under her shirt, skating up her sides before lightly brushing the undersides of her breasts.

"Rick, we don't have time for this. We have to leave." Beckett said, though her body seemed to have other ideas as her back arched, pressing her backside into his growing erection.

"They can wait." Castle said as he pulled her shirt off before bringing his hands up to cup her breasts, lightly massaging them as he continued his assault on her neck.

"Alexis." She tried again even though her control was quickly slipping as her whole body vibrated with arousal.

"Gone. Friends house." Castle mumbled against her neck as one hand moved downwards, dipping under the waistline of her sweatpants and through her wet folds, sending a shiver up her spine as her eyes slipped shut. "But if you really want to go." He added as he began to withdraw his hand from her pants.

"Don't you dare stop." Kate growled, her voice husky with arousal.

She could feel him smirk against her neck as he spun her around and pushed her up against the dresser, removing her pants and panties before lifting her up onto the dresser.

"Get these off." She grumbled, reaching to unbutton his shirt and push it off his shoulders as he shucked his pants and boxers before reaching around her to unclasp her bra, adding it to the pile of clothes on the floor.

Once the last of their clothing was removed, Castle dove back in, attaching his mouth to one of her breasts, eliciting a moan of pleasure from her.

"Rick, I need you now." Kate growled.

Rick growled at the need in her voice before grabbing her hips to scoot her to the edge of the dresser, positioning himself at her entrance, teasing her with his throbbing cock.

"Rick, Please!" Kate pleaded as she tried to arch her hips forward to draw him deeper inside of her.

Reaching down, Rick hooked his arms under her legs, spreading her wider before thrusting himself into her with one swift motion.

"God, you feel so good." Rick growled as he began to pill out of her before thrusting into her again in a steady rhythm.

"God yes, Rick! Harder!" Kate moaned as she brought one hand up to her breast, rolling an erect nipple in between her fingers which caused her to moan even louder, especially when Castle began to thrust into her faster, hitting her in all the right places time after time.

"So close Kate, so close." Castle grunted as he leaned forward to capture her lips.

He could feel Kate starting to clench around him, but could tell she was going to need something more to push her over the edge.

Releasing one of her legs, he reached down between them without breaking the kiss, finding her clit where he began to stroke it in rhythm with his thrusts as he moved down to her breasts, paying them equal attention.

'Oh god Rick!" Kate moaned as she felt the beginning of her orgasm wash over her.

Castle, sensing the beginning of her climax, sped up his thrusts before he flicked Kate's clit once, twice, three times, sending her over the edge as he felt her walls clench around him as her eyes flew open as her orgasm crashed over her, bringing him along with her with a few more thrusts.

"Wow." Castle murmured as he pulled out of her, trying to catch his breath.

"Wow indeed." Kate agreed as she slid off the dresser.

"I think I'm going to have to help you change from now on." Castle said with a smirk.

"In your dreams, writer boy." Kate said as she patted his chest. "Come on, we need a shower."

"You know I have plenty of dreams about the shower too." Castle said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"We are just going to shower. We are already late." Kate said as she made her way to the bathroom.

"Spoilsport." Castle mumbled.


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59:

By the time they made it to the bar, it was closer to nine than it was to eight.

It turns out it's pretty much impossible for them to just shower. Between their lingering arousal from their dresser adventure and the sensations from their wandering hands, it took them two more quick rounds and their actual shower before they were able to keep their hands off each other long enough to get dressed and out the door, and even then they found it nearly impossible to keep their hands off each other, their hands lingering as long as possible before they were forced to break apart as they stepped into the bar.

Castle went to join Ryan and Esposito, who were engaged in a game of pool while Kate grabbed a drink before heading over to their table where Lanie and Jenny were sitting.

As she sat down at the table, Lanie just looked at her with her eyebrows raised.

'What?" Kate asked.

"What took you two so long?" Lanie said with a knowing smirk.

"Uh, we got a little distracted." Kate said, her face turning bright red.

"Really girl? You couldn't wait a few hours before you got him in bed?" Lanie asked.

"Hey! For your information we are not late because I got him into bed." Kate said.

"Oh really?" Lanie said, not believing her for one second.

"Nope. We haven't been in bed since this morning. But there was the dresser and the shower… twice." Kate said with a smirk.

"Damn girl! That good?" Lanie said.

"Gets better every time." Kate said as her phone went off.

Fishing it out of her pocket she opened it to see it was a text from Castle.

**Castle: I miss you:(**

Beckett shook her head, looking up to see him watching her from across the room.

**Beckett: I miss you too. **

**Castle: Can't we just tell them? I don't want to have to hide you, especially since I'm not sure I can keep my hands off you tonight. **

"Girl, are you seriously texting writer boy when he is twenty feet across the room?" Lanie asked.

"Sorry." Beckett said, even though she wasn't.

"What does he want?" Lanie asked.

"He said he misses me and wants to tell the boys because he doesn't think he can keep his hands off me." Kate said, with a chuckle. She wasn't sure she could keep her hands off him either.

"Why haven't you told the boys yet?" Jenny asked.

"She's afraid that they will open their big mouths and let her Captain know." Lanie explained.

"Uh, actually, Gates knows." Kate said.

"WHAT!?" Lanie exclaimed.

"Yeah, she pulled me into her office earlier to ask me why I left the crime scene and she told me she knew. Apparently we don't do a very good job of hiding it." Kate said.

"I could see her point. I always thought you two were together until Kevin explained to me that you two were just blind." Jenny said like it was no big deal.

Kate's jaw dropped and Lanie burst out laughing.

"She has a point girl, and if Gates knows why don't you just tell the boys, or better yet when writer boy come back over here, give him a big ole kiss. The looks on the boys faces will be priceless." Lanie said.

Kate was going to answer but she noticed the boys making their way back to the table.

When they sat down, they started talking about Kevin and Jenny's wedding, but Kate wasn't listening. She kept glancing at Castle. Why couldn't she tell the boys? If Gates knew then there wasn't really a reason why she couldn't.

Making up her mind, she took Castle's arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, which wasn't abnormal even when they weren't dating, but that wasn't all she did. Reaching up with her hand, she turned Castle towards her and gave him a short, yet passionate kiss.

When she pulled away, Castle was grinning like an idiot, Lanie and Jenny were smirking, and just like they predicted, Esposito and Ryan were sitting there with their jaws hanging open.

"You guys seriously had no idea?" Beckett asked them.

"Seriously, you guys call yourselves detectives, even Gates knows." Castle added.

"How long?" Esposito asked.

"Since the sniper case." Beckett answered.

"Seriously? How did we not notice?" Ryan asked.

"Wait, why don't you two look surprised?" Esposito asked Lanie and Jenny.

"I just found out before you two did." Jenny said putting her hands up like she was surrendering.

"Lanie?" Esposito asked

"I may have known for a little while, but believe me it was not my fault." Lanie said.

"You told her and you didn't tell us?" Esposito complained.

"It wasn't like we planned to tell her, it just kinda happened." Beckett defended.

"How does something like that just kind of happen?" Ryan asked.

"Uh…" Kate said.

Lanie just rolled her eyes. "Remember when she wasn't answering her phone?" Lanie asked the boys.

"Yeah, after Castle got shot." Ryan said.

"Wait, I thought you got shot this summer? You guys have been together that long?" Jenny asked.

"Uh, no. I mean I did get shot… this summer, but then we were on a case and I kind of got shot again, luckily this time I had a vest." Castle explained.

"Wow, Kevin hasn't eve been shot that many times and he's a cop." Jenny said in disbelief.

"Uh, yeah." Castle said, glaring at Lanie and Ryan as he felt Beckett's entire body tense up, her jaw clenching to try and hold back the emotions. His shootings would always be a sore topic for them.

"Anyway," Lanie said, also sensing her friends discomfort, "when I went over to Beckett's place the next morning, Castle was there."

"I'm still not getting how you found out." Esposito said and Ryan nodded.

"Uh, that one was on me." Castle said. "I kind of didn't know that Lanie was there and may have said something that hinted to the fact that we were together."

"What did you say?" Ryan asked. They could never let it go.

"Nothing." Beckett said, glaring at Castle.

"Oh no girl. You aren't getting out of this one. Beckett was at the door and she had apparently been wearing one of Castle's shirts sometime that morning and Castle was complaining that she took it off without him." Lanie said with a smile.

"Lanie!" Kate scolded.

"Ah, you looked really hot in that shirt, even hotter without it." Castle said with a wink.

"Castle!" Kate said as she smacked his chest.

"Sorry." Castle said, leaning over to give her a kiss.

"Okay, I know we always said we wanted you two to get together, and I'm happy for you two, it's about time, but the whole lovey-dovey, smooching stuff is seriously weirding me out." Esposito said with a shudder.

"Oh grow up, Javi." Lanie said, smacking his arm.

"But seriously guys, we are happy for you two." Kevin added.

"Thanks." Kate said.

"So Castle, I hear you have a pretty nice dresser." Lanie said, causing Kate to choke on her drink as Castle smirked.

"Oh that I do. I didn't really appreciate it at first, but Kate helped me see how… special a dresser can be." Castle said as Beckett glared at him.

"Bro, do you have any idea what they are talking about?" Esposito asked Ryan.

"Not a clue." Ryan said as Jenny and Lanie laughed at them. "Wait, do you know what they are talking about?" Ryan asked Jenny.

Jenny nodded and leaned over to whisper in Ryan's ear.

"Ew! TMI! I did not need to hear that." Ryan said, pretending to vomit.

"Dude?" Esposito asked.

"You don't want to know." Ryan said, wiping his eyes like he was trying to get rid of the images.

"Javi, remember that one thing we used to do in the morgue?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah?" Esposito said confused, before realization dawned on his face. "Oh. _Oh!_ That's why you guys were late!"

"Okay, I'm going to go to the bathroom." Kate said, obviously embarrassed that they were talking about her sex life.

When Kate walked out of the bathroom, something caught her around the waist as she went to head back to the table. Her first instinct was obviously that she was being attacked, but before she could do anything, her lips were being covered and oh, she definitely knew those lips.

"Hey." Castle said as he pulled away.

"What was that for?" Kate asked as she wiped lipstick off of his mouth.

"What can I say, I am addicted to your lips." Castle said with a smirk.

"Oh really? Well if you want to get out of here, I can show you what I'm addicted to." Kate said seductively.

You didn't have to ask Castle twice, he grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the table.

"Hey, we are going to take off. Don't forget about the movie launch party next weekend." Castle said as he hastily pulled on his jacket and then held Kate's up for her.

"Where are you two rushing off to?" Lanie asked with a raised eyebrow.

Kate just winked with a smirk as Castle dragged her out of the bar.

"Are they going to do what I think they are going to do?" Esposito asked.

"Oh yeah. That is exactly what they are going to do." Lanie replied.

"But how can they… they just… how?" Kevin asked.

"I guess when you have all that pent up sexual frustration from four years, you can't get enough of each other, at least that's what I got from the fact that they did it two more times in the shower AFTER the dresser." Lanie said.

The boys just shuddered.

They did not need to know that.


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60:

Castle was staring at her.

Okay, Castle always stared at her, but this was different. This wasn't his usual 'I'm just watching you because you intrigue me' staring.

She first noticed when they were working on finishing up the case involving the man who she initially thought was Castle. At the time, she just figured he was watching her to make sure she was okay. It annoyed her when he did this, especially when she really was fine, but she learned a long time ago that no matter how many times she asked him to stop, he would eventually end up staring at her again. The only way to get him to stop was to send him home and if she was being honest, she still wasn't quite ready to let him out of her sight, so she chose to ignore it, deciding he would stop once they closed the case.

But he didn't.

Even after they closed the case and finished all the paperwork, he was still staring at her with that look on his face and she couldn't figure out why. She sent him for lunch, thinking that maybe it would clear his mind, but when he came back, he sat back in his spot next to her desk and went back to staring.

That was almost four days ago. She was trying to wait him out, thinking that he would eventually say whatever it was on his mind, but every day he just kept staring and it was getting to the point where she couldn't concentrate on anything other than him.

"Castle." she snapped, smirking slightly when he jumped, forgetting where he was because he was so lost in thought.

"Sorry… I was thinking." Castle said, shaking his head to clear his mind.

"Yeah, I noticed. What's up?" she asked.

"Huh?" he asked, slightly confused.

"You've been staring at me all week. Don't even bother trying to pass it off by saying you always stare at me because I can definitely tell there is something going on in that mind of yours. So what's up?" she asked again.

"Uh, nothing." Castle said.

"Castle." Kate said again in her interrogation voice letting him know that she wasn't going to be playing any games.

Castle sighed and stood up, taking her hand and dragging her into the break room where he shut the door to give them some privacy.

"I want you to come with me to the launch party." Castle said almost a little hesitantly, almost like he was expecting a bad reaction from her.

"I already am going to the party, Castle? I told you I was going to weeks ago." Kate said, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"I know. I meant I want you to come _with_ me, as like my date." Castle said.

"Castle…" Beckett said.

"Kate. Look I know how you feel about the press, and I meant it when I said that I don't want our relationship all over page six, but its going to happen someday, so why not now. I don't want to have to pretend that what we have isn't special, I don't want to have to keep this, keep us a secret when I know how special it is to me. I don't want to have to pretend that I'm not madly in love with you." Castle said.

"Castle…" Kate said again, hoping he would drop it, but of course he didn't, she should have known better than to think he would.

"Kate, there is no reason why we shouldn't announce that we are in a relationship. There isn't anyone that will find out about us that shouldn't. Plus, if we cooperate and play nice with the press now, they are more likely to cooperate with us in the future. C'mon Kate." Castle pleaded.

"Castle. No." Kate said.

"Why? Give me one good reason why and I'll leave you alone." Castle said, crossing her arms.

"Because I'm not one of you bimbos, Castle. I'm sorry that I don't want the whole world to know that I'm just another flavor of the week that you'll eventually get bored of. I have a career to think about and if I am seen with you on page six, it could jeopardize that." Kate hissed.

"What else do I have to do Kate? What else do I have to do to prove to you that I'm not that guy anymore, that I haven't been that guy since I met you? What do I have to do to prove to you that this is more than just a one night stand, that you are something I don't want to throw away like garbage?" Castle said, his voice cold.

Kate's eyes met his, her heart dropping when instead of being met with the warm, blue eyes she could get lost in for hours, she was met with cold, expressionless eyes.

"Castle I…" Kate said, only to be cut off by him.

"No, it's okay, I get it. You don't have to worry about being seen with me, I'll make sure I stay away from you, wouldn't want to embarrass you and jeopardize you're career. I'll see you later, Detective." Castle said, with a slight nod before leaving her there in the break room, watching as he walked away.

How could she be so stupid?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

Kate, Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan all had to work the day of the party.

As long as they didn't catch a murder, they could leave at four, which would give them a little more than three hours to get ready before the car was supposed to pick them up.

Kate hadn't heard anything from Castle since he stormed out of the break room the previous day, and if she was being honest, she wasn't surprised. She deserved it.

She was in a horrible mood as she sat in the bullpen filling out paperwork, and the boys had noticed after being snapped at one too many times and judging by the texts she was getting from Lanie, they had figured out that it had something to do with Castle.

When the clock hit four, Beckett finished signing her last form before turning off her computer, telling the boys she would see them later before making her way to the elevator to go get ready for tonight.

Lanie had asked her if she wanted to come over to her place to get ready yesterday, but knowing that her friend would figure out that something was wrong, she declined, making up some excuse she couldn't even remember. The truth was she really didn't want to have to explain what happened to Lanie, knowing Lanie would tell her exactly what she already knew.

So she went home alone.

And that's where she was now, alone, sitting at the bar at Castle's party.

Her friends had tried to get her to come dance with her, but the last thing she felt like doing was dancing so instead she sat at the bar, watching Castle talking to a group of his writer friends, Natalie Rhodes hanging onto his arm.

She knew that Castle wasn't the least bit interested in Natalie, she could see it in the slight tension in his face every time she got too close, but that didn't stop the churning in her stomach, wishing she was the one hanging onto his arm.

She was so lost in thought, she didn't notice Lanie making her way over to her until she was sitting at the bar next to her.

"Why don't you go say hi." Lanie said, causing Kate to jump.

"God Lanie, you scared me." Kate said, tearing her eyes away from Castle, who had just received a kiss on the cheek from Natalie.

Lanie just ignored her. "So you want to tell me why you are sitting over here sulking and not over there with your man?"

"Because I'm pretty sure I'm the last person he wants to see right now." Kate said as she ordered another drink.

"It can't be that bad." Lanie said.

"It is. I screwed up and I don't know how to fix it." Kate said.

"What did you do?" Lanie asked.

"Me? Why do you assume that it's me?" Kate said, slightly offended.

"Trust me girl, if he did something to you, you wouldn't be here right now. Plus, every time he looks at you, he looks like he did when you were with Demming or Josh." Lanie said.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked.

"He looks like the only place he wants to be is right here with you, but it's not his place. So what did you do? Everything was perfect between you the other day." Lanie said.

Kate sighed. "He was acting weird all week and I finally asked him what was up. He took me into the break room and said he wanted me to come with him to the party as his date. He gave this whole speech about how he didn't want to have to hide me, he didn't want to have to pretend he didn't love me. He said he knows how I feel about the press, but that they were going to find out eventually so why not do it in a situation where we could sort of control the situation." Kate said.

"He's got a point, but I'm guessing that isn't the reason you are sitting over here all alone." Lanie said.

"He kept asking me why we couldn't announce it and he wouldn't stop. I didn't really have a good reason, but I panicked and ended up telling him I wasn't another one of his bimbos that he would eventually get bored of." Kate said.

"You didn't?" Lanie said.

"That's not the worst of it." Kate said.

"What did you do?" Lanie said, setting her drink down.

"I may have in not so many words implied that I would be ashamed to be seen with him on page six." Kate said with a wince at the look of pain that crossed his face before it went cold.

"Damn girl." Lanie said shaking her head.

"I know Lanie, I screwed up. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't want to be with me anymore, I'm not even sure he still wants to be with me." Kate said, sounding defeated.

"Girl please, that man loves you and like I said before, every time he looks at you, you can see that he wants to be with you, but you have to fix this. He is always the one coming after you, but this time its got to be you." Lanie said.

"I know, but how do I fix it?" Kate said.

"You aren't going to like the idea I have." Lanie said.

"Lanie, I'm desperate here." Kate pleaded.

"Go kiss him." Lanie simply said.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Get off your ass, stop having a pity party, and across this room and kiss him. What better way to show him that you aren't ashamed of being seen with him than to be seen with him." Lanie said with a shrug.

"That won't work." Kate said as Esposito and Ryan walked up.

"What's up ladies?" Esposito asked.

"Trying to convince Beckett to go kiss Castle." Lanie said.

"Lanie!" Kate said.

Lanie just shrugged.

"Why does Kate need to be convinced to kiss Castle? She didn't seem to need any convincing the other night." Ryan said with a smirk.

"Castle asked her to come as her date, saying how he didn't want to have to hide their relationship anymore, and our genius detective here basically told him she would be embarrassed to be seen in the papers with him." Lanie said as she ordered another drink.

"Damn girl." Esposito said.

"Poor Castle." Ryan added.

"Thanks guys." Beckett said sarcastically.

"Sorry Beckett, but he's one of us and you know what happens when you hurt one of us." Esposito said, trying to act all intimidated.

"Chill out, baby. Anyway, I told her the best way to prove that she isn't ashamed of Castle is to go over there and kiss Castle in front of everyone. Plus it would wipe that pretty little smirk off of Natalie's face." Lanie said with a smirk.

"Lanie!" Kate said again.

"Please girl, I see you shooting daggers at her. Now go mark your territory." Lanie said nodding to Castle.

"I don't know." Kate said.

"You should do it Beckett. I know if I would believe Jenny wasn't ashamed of me if she kissed me at one of the most public events of the year." Kevin said.

"I second that." Esposito said.

"Fine." Kate said.

Standing up, she glanced at Castle before turning back to the bar to down her drink.

With one last encouraging look from her friends, she made her way across the room.

Castle made eye contact with her when she was half way across the room and he smiled like he was happy to see her before he schooled his features, remembering he was mad at her.

The closer Kate got, the more nervous she got, but she knew she had to do this so she kept going until she approached the group.

"Detective." Castle said with a nod of his head as Natalie tightened her hold on her arm.

"Hey Castle." Kate said, ignoring everyone around her.

"Do you need something?" Castle asked.

"You." she said without hesitation.

"What?" Castle asked a little surprised obviously not expecting that.

Kate stepped closer and went to reach for the lapels of his suit before realizing that Natalie was still holding onto his arms.

"Can you take a step back?" Kate asked her in her best cop voice, glancing down at the arm interlinked with Castle's.

Natalie slowly unlinked their arms before taking a step back.

"Kate, what's this about?" Castle asked, drawing her attention back to him.

"It's about this." She said before cupping his face as she brought her lips to his in one of the most passionate kisses they have shared yet.

Breaking apart she continued. "Its about the fact that I am not ashamed of you and I'm not embarrassed by you. I never should have said those things, I guess I was just scared. The entire world knowing I was dating Richard Castle made it seem so, official and I panicked and said things I shouldn't have. But I love you Rick. So much and I know that none of those things are true. I am so sorry and I love you so much and I know you shouldn't forgive me, I wouldn't forgive me, but I am willing to do anything to prove to you that I love you and that I'm not ashamed even if it involves me shouting it from the top of the Empire State Building." Kate said before bringing him into another kiss.

Castle was frozen for a second, but then she felt his arms wrap around her as his lip started to respond.

Kate could sense the flashes going off from what was probably the cameras, but she couldn't care less. The only thing that mattered was Castle.

When they finally broke apart, Castle pulled back to look at her with a huge smile on his face.

"You would really shout it from top of the Empire State building?" he asked.

"If that's what it takes."


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61:

Castle couldn't help the smile that took over his face. Of course he would never actually make Kate yell that she loves him fro the top of the Empire State Building, but the fact that she would be willing to if necessary meant more to him than words could describe.

Meredith would have laughed in his face if he suggested it. he was pretty sure Kyra wouldn't have laughed at him, but she never would have done it. hell, not even Gina, who wanted everyone to know she was with Richard Castle would do that, but Kate Beckett would and that's all that mattered to him.

"Castle?" Kate questioned, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" he asked.

"You okay there?" You kind of spaced out." Kate said, searching his face.

"I'm perfect." He said with a dazzling smile, which in turn caused Kate to smile.

"So, uh, I know I said I was all for this, and I am, but everyone's staring." Kate said with a nervous chuckle.

Blinking a few times to fully clear his thoughts, Castle looked around and sure enough, anyone who wasn't on the dance floor was watching them.

They were still standing in the middle of his writer friends, but they all seemed to have lost interest in the duo and were talking about their next poker night that was coming up, but even then every once in awhile one of them would glance over at them.

Natalie was standing just outside the group, arms crossed, watching the couple with a mixture of annoyance and jealousy. If castle had to guess its probably because she was the center of attention before Kate stole his attention. Then there was the fact that she had been whispering desires about doing some research for the sex scenes with him after the party which made him shudder in disgust just thinking about it.

Paula was over by the members of the press who were allowed in, probably working on damage control. He had mentioned something to her a few days ago about the possibility of announcing his relationship with Kate, but judging by the look on her face, she was less than pleased with their method. To be fair, a few hours ago he wasn't even sure there was still a relationship to announce.

His eyes wandered over to the bar. The first thing he noticed was Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie. Ryan and Esposito nodded in his direction with smirks on their faces when they saw him. Lanie just sat there, sipping her drink, winking at him when they made eye contact. She had an "I told you so" look on her face which he was pretty sure meant she had something to do with Kate walking over to him and kissing him. He would have to thank her later.

The second thing he noticed was Gina. She was at the bar too, but was sitting alone, far away from anyone else. She was pissed. Gina was the only one who wasn't supportive of his plan to announce his relationship. She was already upset when he announced that he would no longer be signing anything but his books after he initially got together with Kate. When he announced that he wanted to go public with his relationship she all but had a tantrum, going on about how they had worked for so long to create his public image and he was going to go and throw it all away for some cop who he had only been together with for a few months. When she went on to say how he would probably move on to the next blonde with big tits in a matter of no time, he simply got up and walked out, receiving a text from Paula saying she would take care of things if they decided to release a statement about their relationship.

Turning his attention back to Kate, he simply smiled a huge toothy grin.

"Let them stare." He said before leaning down to capture her lips with his.

He could feel her smile against his lips which made his heart flip. She was letting him kiss her in public and she was happy about it.

It was only a matter of time before they both forgot that they were in a public place with cameras and their kiss quickly became far more heated than was appropriate for where they were, but they didn't care.

They didn't break apart until they were suddenly being pulled away from the crowd and into a private room by Paula.

"There is only so much damage control I can do. I'm sure neither of you want what you two were getting at in the papers. Get yourselves under control before you come back out." Paula said, not even trying to hide the fact that she was looking at Castle's very obvious erection, straining against the zipper of his pants, before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

When the door closed, Kate turned to Castle and almost broke out into laughter at what she saw.

Castle was standing there with his eyes closed, taking deep breaths, trying to control his reaction to their impromptu make out session.

Kate wasn't going to have that now was she?

Taking a step forward so she was only inches away from Castle, she reached up to lightly caress his jaw, smirking when she heard him take a sharp intake of breath at her touch.

Stepping a little closer, she ran her hand down his jaw to his chest and then slowly down to grab his throbbing erection, giving it a quick squeeze, causing Castle to gasp in pleasure and surprise.

"Kate… you need to stop before I can't control myself from taking you right here, right now." Castle growled.

"Who says I want you to stop?" Kate said with a smirk as she ran her hand along the outline of his length, drawing another gasp out of Castle as he squeezed his eyes shut tighter.

"Kate…" Castle growled as she continued to stroke his length through his pants.

"Castle." she whispered.

When she didn't receive an answer, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

"Castle." she whispered again, squeezing his hard length.

"Hmmm?" he managed to choke out.

"I don't want you to stop." She purred.

"What?" he asked.

"Don't. Stop." She said again.

He must have understood because one moment they were standing in the middle of the room and the next she was being pressed up against the wall, Castle's body flush against hers as his lips descended on hers.

Castle's hands began to move up her sides until he reached her breasts, brushing his thumb across her already hard nipples, causing a shiver to run down her spine.

When Kate nipped at his bottom lip, Castle's hips involuntarily bucked, his erection hitting her in just the right place, pulling a moan from her throat as she threw her head back in ecstasy.

Castle had just leaned down, bringing his lips directly to her pulse point, when the door burst open, a disgruntled Gina making her way into the room.

"Richard, you need to… oh for heave's sake!" she said in a pissed off tone.

"Gina. Leave." Castle growled as he attempted to catch his breath.

"Richard, you are at a party for a movie based off your book, you can't be sneaking off to have some romp with some cop." Gina hissed.

"Gina…" Castle hissed again.

"No Richard. It's time this stops. You have your career to think about and your throwing it all away for a fling. You are jeopardizing everything for some cop who probably wants you for your money and fame. What will Alexis think?" Gina said in a fake "I'm doing this because I care" voice.

At the mention of his daughter, Castle lost what little self control he had left.

"She's not you, Gina." Castle said, oddly calm for his previous angered state.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gina asked.

"Exactly what I said, Kate is not you. I love her more than words can describe. She blows any other relationship I've ever had out of the water. She isn't after me for my money or fame. She loves me for me, all of me. I get that we had a relationship, but it was a mistake. The only part of me you wanted was the famous part of me. You're the one who was after my money and fame and I should have realized that before I married you. as for Alexis, she already knows about us. Want to know why? Because again, unlike you, Kate actually cares about Alexis and wanted to have a relationship with her even before she had any desire to have one with me. Kate made sure Alexis was okay with us before anything happened between us because she understands that Alexis is part of the relationship. Kate sees Alexis as a bonus to our relationship unlike you who saw her simply as something that got in the way." Castle said.

"Please Richard. Who was there for you while she was with that other detective and lied when you asked her to go with you? Me. Who was there for you when she was fucking that doctor? Me. It's only a matter of time before she slinks off because you no longer do it for her. It's what people like her do. Bounce around from one guy to the next when she gets bored. She doesn't love you and she doesn't give a rat's ass about Alexis." Gina said with a smirk like she won.

Castle was about to say something else, but Kate stepped forward and put her hand on his chest, silently telling him to calm down before she turned her attention to Gina, who was still standing there with a smirk on her face.

"Gina, I gave never done anything to you. I've barely spoken to you. I've sat here these past few weeks and watched you say something negative about our relationship every chance you got. I'm sorry that you are jealous and upset that things didn't work out between you two, but that's just it, they didn't work out between you two and its time you moved on because frankly it's getting a little pathetic. Now I don't care what you have to say about me, if it makes you feel better to call me names, then by all means, call me names. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. What I won't stand for is you insulting the people I love. That's right, love. I am in love with Rick. Not for his money, not for his fame, I love him for who he is. I could care less if he lost everything he had. As long as I have him for the rest of my life, I will be more than happy. As for Alexis, don't you dare accuse me of using her. The though of anyone doing that makes me sick. Alexis is one of the most remarkable people I have ever met and I feel honored to get the chance to be a part of her life. I would do anything for her whether or not my relationship works out with Rick. Now I am only going to ask you to leave once. Rick and I will be out there when we are ready because unfortunately you have no say in what Rick and I do." Kate finished glad to see the smirk faltering on the publisher's face.

"You really think the two of you are going to have a happy ending? Think about it detective. Richard is a famous novelist; he could have anyone in the world, why would he want you? Sure he might think he wants you right now, but eventually he will realize you are a nobody, that you are just a cop. He will come to me eventually just like the last time. I was the one who walked out of the precinct with him when you were too much of a coward to step up and confess you're feelings. You are nothing but a low-life cop and you can't even do that right. How does it feel to know that you are the reason Richard was shot? You know, if I was you're mom I would be thanking the man that killed her because it saved her the embarrassment of knowing how pathetic her daughter was." Gina said, the smirk reappearing on her face.

Kate would have slapped her, she probably would have even punched her if Castle didn't step forward, grabbing her arm and dragging her to the door and straight to the security guard stationed outside the door.

"Excuse me, can you please escort Ms. Cowell out of the party and make sure she no longer disturbs us." Castle said politely.

"Seriously Richard? You're throwing me out of your party. I'm you publisher, I have to be here." She said with an eyeroll.

Castle just turned to her with a smile. "Gina, you're fired." He said before he turned around and went back into the room, shutting the door as Gina was escorted out of the party.

When the door shut, he pressed his back to the door and sunk to the ground, covering his face with his hands, refusing to open his eyes because the last thing he wanted to do was cry.

"Hey." Kate said quietly as she caressed his cheek.

"I'm so sorry." Castle said as he opened his eyes, a few tears rolling down his face which Kate promptly wiped away.

"Why are you sorry?" Kate asked.

"For what she said. I never should have let her get that far. She shouldn't have even been here, I should have fired her the first time she started saying bad things about you." Castle said with a self deprecating smile.

"Rick no. Don't feel bad about what she said. First of all, you didn't fire her because you always see the best in people, which is one of the reasons I fell in love with you in the first place. Second of all, I know none of what she said is true. I know what we have is real, and as far as I'm concerned, I'm excited for what's to come." Kate said, punctuating her point with a kiss.

"I love you so much." Castle said as they broke apart.

"I love you too." Kate said with a big smile.

Castle leaned forward and gave her one more kiss before pulling back.

"As much as I want to stay in here with you for the rest of the night, we should really get back out there. Plus the sooner we get out there the sooner I can get you out of this dress." Castle said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Gee Mr. Castle, you sure know your way into a girls pants… er heart." Kate said with a smirk.

Taking Kate's hand, he gave her one more kiss before opening the door and reemerging into the main room.

Looking towards the bar, he was glad to see Lanie, Esposito and Ryan were still perched in the same spots, laughing about something. He began to drag Kate toward them, but they barely took two steps before they were blocked by Paula.

"Would you like to explain to me why I just saw Gina being escorted out of here by security/" Paula asked,

"I fired her. She crossed the line one two many times and I had enough." Castle said with a shrug.

"And you're sure about this?" Paula asked.

"Positive." Castle said.

"Alright. I'll have applications on your desk Monday so you can work on replacing her." Paula said before turning on her heels and disappearing into the crowd.

"That's it?" Kate asked, slightly surprised.

"She knows that there are only two reasons I would ever fire Gina. You or Alexis and she gets it so she isn't going to try and change my mind. She knows how important you two are to me. Now what do you say we go get a drink?" he asked not even waiting for an answer before heading over to their friends.

"What took you two guys so long? When Paula dragged you into that room we thought you were going to get your freak on, but then we say ms. Ex-wife number two go in there and come out a little while later only to be escorted by security out of the party." Esposito said.

"I fired her. She messed with me too many times." Castle said.

"It's about time." Lanie said. "I honestly didn't see what you saw in her ever since she came into the precinct and took you away from my girl here."

"Yeah, well it's over. By the way, I got each of you a room for the night. I figured none of us would be up for driving home tonight. Ryan, I had a car pick Jenny up so she should already be in your room when you get there." Castle said handing them all a key.

"Hey what about our girl here?" Lanie asked when Castle didn't hand her a key.

"Kate is going to be keeping a very ruggedly handsome author with great charm and wit, company tonight." Castle said with a wink.

"Oh, Patterson is here/" Kate asked, pretending to look around.

'You wound me, detective." Castle said, clutching his heart in mock pain.

After that the group fell into easy chit char, talking about work, the party, and Ryan's wedding. When it began to approach midnight, Castle decided he couldn't wait any longer to get Kate out of that dress.

Wrapping his arms around her from behind, he put his mouth next to her ear. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" he whispered.

"You may have mentioned it once or twice." Kate said, leaning back into the warmth of his chest.

"Want to know something?" he whispered in her ear again.

"Hmmm?" Kate hummed.

"I want to take this dress off you, kiss you all over your body, watch as you come apart around my mouth, watch your eyes widen when I enter you and then slide closed as you whisper my name when I start to move inside of you."

Kate's eyes snapped open and she took Castle's hand.

"We're going to turn in for the night guys." Kate said suddenly, feeling her panties already becoming soaked as the images Castle just described played over and over in her head.

"Look at those old folks, turning in early." Esposito snickered.

"Is it past you bed time?" Ryan asked, feeding the birds with Esposito.

"Oh no, don't worry guys. We are going to our room, but we won't be getting any sleep tonight." Kate said with a wink as the guys' jaws dropped.

Kate grabbed Castle's tie, dragging him to the elevator.

She made sure everyone knew that at the end of the night, she is the one who gets to go home with Richard Castle.

* * *

**A/N:** So when I started this, I had absolutely no intention of Castle firing Gina, but as I typed my fingers seemed to have a mind of their own and this is what came out of it.

Enjoy!


	62. Chapter 62

Chapter 62:

By the time Castle and Beckett made it back to the loft, it was almost one in the afternoon. Due to their late night adventures, they didn't get to sleep until almost four in the morning which means they didn't wake up until eleven and even then the only reason they woke up was because of the obnoxious knocking on their door by their friends complaining about how they wanted to go home. So by the time they showered and got dressed and dropped everyone off at home, it was nearly one.

"I don't know about you, but the only thing I want to do is curl up in front of the TV with my two favorite girls and watch movies for the rest of the day." Castle said as they stepped out of the elevator and made their way to the loft.

"That sounds wonderful. Is Alexis home? I thought she went to Paige's house?" Kate asked.

"She did, but she texted me and said she was on her way home so I figured by the time we change and order some Chinese, she will be home." Castle said as they slipped into the loft.

"Sounds like a plan. You go change and I'll order the food." Kate said.

"Don't you want to change too?" Castle said eyeing her now wrinkled dress.

"Yes, but my stuff is in the laundry room so I'll just change in there." Kate said.

"Okay. I've got to call Paula so I'll be awhile." Castle said, giving her a kiss before disappearing into the bedroom.

Kate made her way into the laundry room, deciding to wear a pair of Castle's boxer shorts with one of her tank tops before making her way into the kitchen to order Chinese.

As she hung up the phone, she heard the front door open and close and assumed it was Alexis, but when she turned around she was greeted with the lovely sight of Meredith, stripping down as she made her way to Castle's bedroom.

Not knowing what to say, Kate cleared her throat, causing Meredith to freeze before turning around.

"Hello! You're that Detective friend of Richard's, ummm… uh…."

"Kate Beckett." Kate said.

"Right. Kate." Meredith said,

"Can I help you?" Kate asked silently pleading for Castle to hurry up.

"Not at all. You can just show yourself out, I wouldn't want to embarrass you. Richard and I get a little bit rowdy if you know what I mean." Meredith said with a wink as she turned to continue her journey to Castle's bedroom.

Luckily, Castle came strolling out of his office before Meredith took two steps.

"Meredith? What are you doing here?" Castle asked looking between Meredith and Kate.

"I was in town so I though I would stop by and see Alexis." Meredith said in a false innocent tone like she wasn't just sneaking into his bedroom to do god knows what.

"Alexis isn't here." Castle said.

"Oh, well then that means we have time for another go at our top ten." Meredith said as she sidled up to him, running her hands up his chest.

"Meredith, no." Castle said as he grabbed her arms and forced her to take a step back.

"No? C'mon Kitten. You know we have a wild time together. Go get rid of your little detective friend and then I'll give you a top three performance." Meredith purred.

"No Meredith. There will be no more top ten performances. Not now, not ever." Castle said as he moved around her and headed toward Kate.

"Why not Kitten?" Meredith asked, the pout clear in her voice.

"Because I'm in a relationship." Castle said as he wrapped an arm around Kate's waist pulling her into his chest.

Meredith looked between them before a smirk appeared again. "It's okay Richard, I can share."

"Yeah, well unlike you, I don't share." Castle said, the disgust obvious in his voice.

"Really Richard? You're going to choose her over me?" Meredith said in a tone that made it clear she thought she was the best thing to ever step on the face of the Earth.

"Oh no, there is no choice." Castle said.

"That's what I thought. I'll wait in the bedroom while you say goodbye to Detective Beckett." Meredith said.

"Meredith, you misunderstood me. When I said there was no choice I meant that even if I wasn't with Kate, I wouldn't sleep with you. while I can't say I regret our relationship because it gave me Alexis, I never should have married you and we definitely shouldn't have rekindled our…. Physical relationship. It was a mistake. Now please leave, I will tell Alexis you stopped by when she gets home." Castle said right as the door opened.

"Dad? I ran into the delivery boy and it looks like Kate's stuff is in here. Did you two fix things?" Alexis asked as she shut the door.

She completely missed Meredith when she walked into the room, but when she saw Kate, more importantly, when she saw Kate wrapped in her dad's arms, her face broke out into a huge smile and she was across the room, wrapping Kate into a huge hug immediately.

"I'm so happy you worked things out. I missed you! it was weird coming home without you being here." Alexis said.

"I missed you too, Lex." Kate said with a chuckle as she wrapped her arms around the young girl.

"Her name is Alexis." Meredith said from behind them.

Alexis pulled away from Kate, obviously surprised at the sound of her mom's voice.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Alexis asked.

"I was in the city and though we could go shopping for your prom dress while I was here." Meredith said, excited at the prospect of shopping.

"Uh, I already got my dress, Mom." Alexis said.

"That's great! Did you go with your friends?" Meredith asked.

"No. I went with Kate and Lanie." Alexis clarified.

"Lanie?" Meredith questioned.

"She's Kate's friend and the medical examiner at the precinct. She is the one I did my internship with." Alexis explained.

"Richard! Do you really think its wise to let our daughter go off into the city with one of your little friends and her companion?" Meredith gasped.

"First of all, Kate is my partner, not one of my little friends. Second of all, Alexis asked Kate and I had no problem with it. I trust Kate and Lanie and know without a doubt they would do anything to make sure Alexis was safe." Castle said.

"If you say so." Meredith said, not at all convinced. "Alexis why don't you go change and we can go shopping anyway."

"I have plans with dad and Kate." Alexis said.

"I'm sure they won't mind if you reschedule." Meredith said with a wave of her hand like it was no big deal.

"I'm sure they won't, but I don't want to reschedule. We were supposed to go shopping last weekend, but you cancelled. I'm not going to cancel plans I've made already every time you decide to drop in. If you wanted to take me shopping, you should have been here then." Alexis said.

"Alexis, you know I had an audition." Meredith said.

"I know, mom. I guess I just hoped that for once in my life you would put me first." Alexis said.

"Alexis enough. You are almost an adult and it's time you realize that isn't the way the world works. The adult world is different; when you have a job you can't just drop it, it doesn't work like that." Meredith said.

"No Mom, it doesn't work like that for you. if Dad was in the most important meeting of his life and I needed him, he would be there, no questions asked. If Kate was in the middle of a huge case and I needed her, she would be there no questions asked. Even Lanie or Esposito or Ryan would be there no question asked and they aren't even obligated. Yet my own mother can't find the time to be there for me just once. But that's okay because I'm over it. If you don't want to be in my life, then it's your loss, but I'm not going to worry about it anymore because I have loads of people who do want to be a part of it and who love me and that's enough for me." Alexis said before turning on her heels and going to her room.

Kate didn't waste a minute before she was untangling herself from Castle's arms to go check on her. She made it to the stairs before Meredith's voice stopped her.

"Where do you think you're going?" She hissed.

"I'm going to go check on Alexis." Kate said.

"You're not her mother." Meredith said.

"I know, but unfortunately the person that's supposed to be her mother has never acted like it, so I'm going to make sure she has someone who is there for her whether I'm her mother or not." Kate said.

"Richard! Do something!" Meredith said glancing between him and Kate.

Castle didn't even miss a beat. "Meredith you need to leave."

That was all the confirmation Kate needed and she turned around to finish her journey to Alexis's room.

"Richard, she had no right. Alexis isn't her daughter." Meredith snapped.

"She has more of a right than you." Castle said coolly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Meredith asked.

"It means that Kate is Alexis's legal guardian in case something happens to me. You gave me full custody of Alexis and I made the decision, so technically she legally has more of a right to go check on Alexis than you. But even if she wasn't her guardian, she would still have more of a right than you. She has been there for Alexis in the past four years than you have been her entire life and that's really sad seeing as how you are her mother. Now you need to leave. You've already caused enough problems for us by coming here, uninvited. I'll call a car service to take you to your hotel." Castle said.

"I don't have a hotel." Meredith said.

"Well, where are you staying?" Castle asked, getting frustrated.

"Here of course!" Meredith said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You aren't staying here Meredith." Castle said.

"Why not? I always stay here when I come into town." Meredith pouted.

"Yes, well that was when I wasn't in a relationship and it was when Alexis wanted you here. The only reason you are still in my life is because of Alexis. I don't want you here and neither does Kate. Therefore, seeing as how Alexis clearly doesn't want to see you right now, you are not staying here and you never will be staying here. If you want to see Alexis in the future, you can get yourself a hotel. Now, I'm sorry, but you need to leave. You can figure out your living arrangements on your own. Don't contact us or stop by until Alexis contacts you and tells you she wants to see you." Castle said as he pulled her towards the door.

"That Detective has made you no fun, Kitten. C'mon I'll show you how to be fun again." Meredith said.

"It has nothing to do with fun, Meredith. I have plenty of fun, but I've grown up and its time you do the same." Castle said as he closed the door in her face.

Leaning against the door, he rubbed his hands over his face. He wanted to go check on Alexis, but he was pretty sure this is one of those times where Kate could handle the situation better than he could. If there was one good thing that came out of the death of Kate's mom, it was that at the very least, Alexis had someone who sort of knew what she was going through.

With a sigh, Castle pushed himself off the door and picked up the Chinese, bringing it to the coffee table, setting it all out before getting the first of their movies ready.

He was just finishing pouring their drinks when Alexis and Kate made their way back down the stairs.

"You alright pumpkin?" he asked Alexis.

"Yeah, I'm fine dad. Sorry for talking to mom like that." She said as she gave him a hug.

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. It's time she heard it." Castle said, giving her a kiss before watching her take her drink and make her way into the living room.

"You okay?" he asked Kate who had come over and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Besides the fact that I just saw your ex wife try to get you to take her to the bedroom with me standing right here, I'm fine. I'm more worried about Alexis. It isn't fair to her to have a mother like that." Kate said.

"I know, but she has you and I think that makes it alright. Now let's forget about it and go have a nice movie night." He said, grabbing her hand and dragging her into the living room and onto the couch where she curled into his side.

"What are we watching?" Alexis asked.

"I thought we would have a hangover marathon. We all need a good laugh." Castle said as he pressed play.

Half way through the movie, their empty Chinese cartons laid forgotten on the coffee table.

Alexis was curled up on the floor in front of the TV, asleep, probably from the lack of sleep at her sleepover and Castle and Beckett were stretched out on the couch, Castle lightly stroking her hair.

"Move in with me." Castle whispered.

"What?" Kate asked, instantly tensing.

"Move in with me." Castle said again.

"Castle…" Kate said, as she sat up, trying to put some distance in between them.

"Kate, think about it, you're here all the time anyway and I'm pretty sure most of your stuff is already here anyway. When we try to sleep apart, we always end up finding each other in the middle of the night anyway because we can't sleep and it's a waste of money for you to keep paying rent on your place when you're never there." Castle said.

"I don't know." Kate said, a little less hesitant, but still hesitant. He did have a point after all, she was never at her place and when she was she would always end up at Castle's anyway because she couldn't sleep.

"Please Kate? I want this all the time. I want to come home with you after a long day at the precinct. I want to come home to you after a long, boring meeting. I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life and go to sleep next to you every night. I want us to have movie nights like this all the time, simply because we can. I want this, all the time." Castle said motioning at the scene in front of them.

Kate could picture what he was saying. She could picture coming home after a long day at the precinct to find Castle sitting in his chair, working on the next Nikki Heat novel. She could picture herself curling up next to him every night while they watched a movie. She could picture family breakfasts with her, Castle and Alexis. She could picture Alexis coming home from school everyday, telling her stories about her day. She wanted this too. She wanted this family.

"Okay." Kate said with a smile.

"Okay?" Castle said his face breaking out into a huge grin.

"Yes Rick. I will move in with you." Kate said, laughing as he stood up from the couch and swept her into a huge bear hug as he spun them in a circle.

"Dad? What's going on?" came Alexis's groggy voice from the floor.

"Kate agreed to move in with us." Castle said, laughing when Alexis's eyes went wide with excitement.

"You know what this means, don't you dad?" Alexis asked.

"What?" Castle asked.

"It means now that I have Kate on my team, you are never going to win at laser tag ever again." Alexis said with a huge smile.

"What if Kate wants to be on my team?" Castle asked.

"Please dad. Kate has dreamed of shooting you since you started following her around." Alexis said with a Beckett-like eye roll as Kate laughed.

Castle really wanted to be mad, he really wanted to argue that it wasn't fair for the cop to have help, but he just couldn't bring himself to care.

He would lose a lifetime of laser tag games if it meant he got to have this for the rest of his life.

This was his family.

* * *

**A/N: **Okay guys, I want to bring Demming back at some point in the near future and I want to have him cause some kind of angst between KB and RC, but I am not sure what to do, so I need some ideas:)

Thanks! and Enjoy


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 63:

After the initial excitement over Kate moving in had subsided, Alexis decided that some celebratory ice cream was in order. They all made their way into the kitchen, each making themselves a sundae that they would never be able to finish, but they did by the end of the first movie, discarding them on the coffee table with their empty Chinese cartons, before settling back into their respective seats, completely stuffed.

Half way through the second movie, Martha came home and Alexis's excitement had returned as she told her grandmother that Kate was moving in. Martha, being all for the dramatics, insisted on breaking out Castle's most expensive bottle of champagne to welcome Kate to the family. After some persuasion on Castle's part, Martha agreed to settle for settle for some wine instead so Castle poured three glasses of wine and one glass of sparkling grape juice for Alexis and they toasted to the new addition in Casa de Castle.

Sitting around at the counter, Alexis filled Martha in on Meredith's visit which in turn led to Castle and Kate telling them the story about Gina at the book party and ended with Martha saying she had a good feeling they wouldn't have to worry about anymore ex wives as she shot a wink in Kate's direction.

Shortly after, Martha excused herself to her room, Alexis shortly following after they finished their movie.

Castle made his way around the loft, cleaning up the mess from the day while Kate showered and then took his turn in the bathroom after Kate was finished.

When Castle came out of the bathroom, Kate was already curled up in bed and he thought she was asleep, but when he climbed into bed and settled down, she immediately rolled over, resting her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist, before tangling their legs together.

Castle placed a kiss on her forehead as he tugged her closer, expecting them to go straight to sleep, but Castle never felt Kate's breathing even out which meant she was still awake and judging by the fact that she was silent it meant she was thinking about something.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

"I didn't say anything." Kate said, even though she knew what his response would be.

"You weren't saying anything very loudly. I know you, you won't go to sleep when something is bothering you and I'm not going to be able to sleep knowing something is bothering you so you might as well just spill and save us both from a sleepless night." Castle said.

"Its nothing." Kate said with a frustrated sigh, contradicting her words.

"Kate was it? Is this about moving in? Because if you aren't ready I don't want to force you into doing anything. I only want you to do it if you want to." Castle said.

"Its not that. I want to move in with you, I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't want to its just…" Kate said trailing off.

"It's what?" Castle pushed

Kate let out a sigh before answering quietly. "I don't want us to end up like you are with Meredith or Gina. I couldn't handle that. I couldn't handle losing you and I know I'm probably being stupid, but we've never really talked about it." Kate said.

"It's not stupid. I never want you to think any of your concerns are stupid, but you're right, we never have talked about it and I think it is definitely something we should talk about before this goes to far." Castle said.

"We don't have to talk about it now. I don't want to ruin today." Kate said.

"It's not going to be any easier on a different day than it is now and I'm afraid if we wait then its just going to become one another one of those things we don't talk about." Castle said honestly.

"Okay." Kate said, knowing he was right. When they don't talk about something right away, one of them always ends up chickening out and then it never gets resolved. That was one of their biggest problems in their relationship.

Castle sat up pulling Kate with him so they were sitting crossed legged, facing each other. One of their strongest connections was through their eyes and he figured if she could see his eyes and vice versa it would make this easier, knowing what the other was thinking without having to ask.

"After Kyra left me, I was a mess. While I am no longer sure if what me and Kyra had at the time was actually love, at the time, I thought it was so when she left I was like a lost puppy, not quite sure what to do or where to go. When I met Meredith, I think one of the reasons I was attracted to her was because she was everything that Kyra was not. She was like the polar opposite and I thought that was what I needed at the time. She was fun and I was young and stupid. We had been dating for only a few months when she got pregnant with Alexis. When I found out that she was pregnant, I don't think I have ever felt so terrified, yet so excited at the same time. After the initial shock wore off and I realized that I was going to be a father, I decided that I wanted to make sure my child had the life I never had. I never met my father and was raised by a single-parent. I didn't want that for my kid, so I proposed to Meredith and she said yes. A few months later, we were married and then half a year later, we had Alexis. Meredith was never the motherly figure. The only time she would interact with Alexis was when she was trying to schmooze with some important people or she was out in public and she didn't want people to know that she wasn't that great of a mother. But other than that, I was doing everything. I would get up in the middle of the night when Alexis cried, I would be the one to bring her back to bed when she was having a nightmare or stay home with her all day while Meredith went off and did who knows what and it never really bothered me. I think at the time, I was a bit selfish because while I wanted Meredith to be there for her daughter, at the same time I didn't want her to be there because then that meant that I had less time with Alexis. I wasn't lying when I said raising Alexis was the best time of my life. While it was hard and at times I felt like I was letting Alexis down, I don't think I would have done anything differently. A little bit before Alexis was three, I had to go to a big meeting with my publishing company. Usually, I would make sure I scheduled them when Mother was home to watch Alexis because I knew that Meredith would never be around, but these were one of those times where it was unavoidable so Meredith, rather reluctantly, agreed to watch Alexis while I was gone. I came home later that afternoon to Alexis crying her eyes out in her crib upstairs. She hadn't eaten anything all day, Meredith hadn't given her a bath, and she hadn't had her diaper changed since I left that morning. After I got Alexis cleaned up and settled down, I went in search of Meredith, only to find her in our bed with her director. I was so angry, but I could only think about Alexis, so I went upstairs packed a bag of her things and checked us into a hotel. The next day when I came back there were divorce papers on the counter, giving me full custody of Alexis and that was the end of that." Castle finished, looking up to see Kate with a pained expression on her face.

"Oh Rick. I'm so sorry. She didn't talk to you at all, just gave you the papers and left?" Kate asked.

"Nope, I called her and tried to get her to come back, thought that we could see a counselor, but it was no use. At the time, I thought it was my fault, that I had done something wrong to make her want to leave, that I wasn't a good enough husband. For months, I would take care of Alexis during the day and then drown myself in a glass of scotch at night. Finally, my mother had enough and helped me realize that it wasn't my fault, that Meredith wasn't the type of woman who did well be tied down and I could have been the best husband their was and she still would have left. So I cleaned up my act and started writing and that was when Derek Storm was born." Castle said.

"Wow. If she cheated on you then why would you uh… get together with her when she came back in to town?" Kate asked.

"The only thing I can think of to explain it was that she was familiar. I regret it and wish I had a better explanation, but I don't. She would come into town, we would fall into bed, have a couple of hours of good, familiar fun, and then she would be gone. Uncomplicated, no commitment required." Castle said.

"Okay. What about Gina?" Kate asked.

"Gina was the exact opposite of Meredith as you probably already know. She had been my publisher for a while and we worked well together and I cared about her. When I got married to Gina, it was at a point in my life where I didn't want to keep up the whole playboy charade. I was more content with just staying home, playing laser tag, watching movies with Alexis. So I figured that if I got married to Gina, I wouldn't have to keep that part of my life up, plus I really wanted Alexis to have that mother figure in her life." Castle said.

"What happened?" Kate asked.

"Gina wanted nothing to do with the part of my life that involved Alexis and I didn't want her to be a part of that life. I was still a little broken from Meredith and I didn't want Alexis to get close to someone else only to have her leave. After awhile, Gina realized that being married to me didn't mean night after night of partying and going to fancy restaurants like she initially thought and eventually, the fighting got to be too much and we got divorced. To be honest, my marriage with Gina was more like a business deal rather than an actual marriage. I got to stay home with Alexis and she got the fame that went along with being Richard Castle's wife." Castle said.

"And the second time?" Kate asked.

"Initially, I just didn't want to be alone. Watching you with Demming was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and when I got talking to Gina it was nice and then I told her I was going to the Hamptons and she asked if I wanted company and I thought why not? It was a lot better than being alone. Then after that it was just like it used to be I guess. It was almost like an old routine. I didn't have to keep the charade up, and she was right back to falling into her role as Richard Castle's wife. After awhile though, I started to realize why we got divorced in the first place, especially after I came back to the precinct and our relationship began to grow. Everything with me and Gina was fine, but with the help of my mother, I realized that was just it, we were just fine. There was no magic, no spark. When we had the magic case and we were throwing theory back and forth in the conference room, I knew that was when I had to end it with Gina. I felt more spark and magic with you in those few minutes than I ever had in my life with anyone. I realized that the reason things were ordinary with everyone else was because my magic, my extraordinary was you. My heart belonged with you." Castle said.

"But I was with Josh?" Kate said, confused at why he would break up with someone when she was with someone else.

"I know, and that killed me, but I realized that the heart wants what the heart wants and there is nothing that you could do about it. My heart wanted you and I knew there wasn't a chance that I was going to get over you. I fell in love with you and you were all I wanted, so I was prepared to wait as long as I needed to before you realized that you felt the same way." Castle said.

"And if I never realized it?" Kate asked.

"If Josh was what you wanted to be happy, then I would step aside and let you be happy. That's all I ever wanted, but I could see that Josh didn't make you happy. Your eyes didn't light up when he called or showed up the way they did for me. Josh wasn't there when you needed him like I was, so I waited." Castle said.

"What were you going to do when you thought I was going to marry him?" Kate asked.

"Well, first I had to recover and get over the hurt, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had to show you what you could have, what happy you really could be. I was going to come and fight for you." Castle said.

Kate nodded as she processed everything he just said. Castle could tell she needed some time, so he leaned back down on his pillow, pulling Kate him and he just waited for her to talk to him.

"Would you ever do it again?" she finally asked.

"Do what?" Castle asked into her hair.

"Get married." Kate asked.

"After I divorced Gina, I thought for the longest time that I would never get married again." Castle said.

"What changed?" Kate asked.

"I met you." Castle said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What?" Kate asked, a little shocked.

"I met you. The moment you told me that you were a one and done type of girl, I wanted to get the chance to be that one and done. I was terrified of marriage before I met you, but I'm not anymore because I know what I have with you isn't anything like what I had with Meredith or Gina. What we have is real. I wish I could say that you were my one and done, but what I can say is that you are my always." Castle said.

"You want to marry me?" Kate asked, still a little shocked.

"One day. When we are both ready of course. I love you so much and I don't want to mess this up so I am going to do things right." Castle said.

"Good." Kate said.

"Good?" Castle asked.

"Yes, good. You're my one and done Castle and while the thought that this it is for me, scares the hell out of me, I know that one day I'm going to want to have it all with you. Marriage, kids, the whole thing." Kate said.

"You want kids with me?" Castle asked, a big smile blooming on his face.

"I used to think no because of my job, but I know now that I can't not do things because I am afraid of what might happen. I know that if we were to have kids and something happened to me or happened to you or happened to both of us, there are plenty of people who would be here for them. So yes, Castle, I want kids with you." Kate said with a smile.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me." Castle said.

"Really?" Kate asked.

"Really. Don't get me wrong, I loved having just Alexis, but I always wanted more kids. I always thought that I might have more with Meredith, even if I was the one who was taking care of them, but when I found her with the director I knew that that wasn't going to happen and then simply mentioning kids to Gina was enough to start a fight so I never brought it up. I gave up hope that I would ever have more a long time ago, knowing that I wouldn't want more unless I found the right woman and now I have found the right woman." Castle said as he began to place wet open mouth kisses all over her face and stomach.

"You're a goofball." Kate said as he blew a raspberry on her stomach.

"You love me anyway." Castle said as he climbed up next to her again, pulling her to his chest.

"That I do, even if I don't like you sometimes." Kate said.

"I love you too, Kate." Castle said in a sarcastic, way to ruin the moment, voice, which caused Kate to laugh.

After her laughing subsided, they both fell into silence, lost in their own thoughts.

"We're really doing this." Castle said, a sense of awe in his voice.

"We're really doing this." Kate said.

There were no more words that were needed. Both Castle and Kate fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

It was going to be hard and they would definitely have a lot to work through in the future, but they could do this because no matter what came their way, they knew one thing.

This was forever.


	64. Chapter 64

Chapter 64:

The last thing Kate wanted to do the next morning was get out of bed.

Before Castle, she had never been one who enjoyed cuddling. With Will, she never had that problem. He hated cuddling as much as she did. She never let Tom stay over when she was with him and whenever he tried to get her to stay, she would make up an excuse about not having clothes and having to be at the precinct early. Josh was more of a problem. Generally, one of them would be gone before they managed to get to sleep, but when they did manage to get to sleep without a call, Josh was a cuddler and she always felt suffocated. She would always wait until he fell asleep before she detached herself from his arms and went to sleep on the couch. He asked her about it the first time it happened and she simply said she couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake him up and that was it. He never asked again, he just always assumed she didn't want him to be tired for work, never once suspecting it might be something else.

But with Castle, she loved cuddling. She loved the sound of his heart beating under her cheek, loved the way he held her tight, never letting her go during the night like he was protecting her even in his sleep. She loved the way their legs tangled together and their bodies fit together like they were made for each other. She could lay in his arms all day.

But unfortunately, Kate had scheduled lunch with Lanie for today and if she didn't get up soon she knew it was only a matter of time before the ME somehow found her way into the loft and dragged her out of bed.

So reluctantly, she began to extract herself from her Castle cocoon, foolishly thinking it would be that easy.

"Don't go. Stay in bed." Castle said as he tightened his grip on her, pulling her back to his chest.

"Castle, you know I have lunch with Lanie. If I don't get up she is going to come here to find me. Do you really want her to know that I'm not at lunch with her because you couldn't let me out of bed?" Kate asked, even though she wasn't putting up much of a fight to get up.

"Don't go. Just want to stay like this." Castle mumbled as he tried to go back to sleep.

"Castle, let me go and I'll do some very delicious things to you when I get home." Kate said seductively.

"Mmm. How delicious?" Castle asked, a little more awake.

Kate felt Castle's grip loosen slightly so she used it to her advantage, rolling over so she was straddling him, laughing when his eyes shot open.

"Let's just say this will be one of the many positions you will see my naked body in tonight." Kate said, rolling her hips once to pull a groan out of him before making a break for it into the bathroom.

"You tease!" Castle yelled as he laid there, hard as a rock, visions of a naked Beckett riding him playing on repeat in his head.

Twenty minutes later, Kate came out of the shower, dressed and ready to go, laughing at the sight of Castle still lying in bed, eyes shut tight, hard as a rock.

"Having some issues controlling yourself their Ricky?" she purred.

"I can't help it. I have a very imaginative mind and it won't shut off." Castle growled.

"Take a cold shower." Kate said, knowing very well that this was not something a cold shower could help

"Kate…" Castle growled in frustration.

Looking at her watch with a smirk, Kate decided she had just enough time to make sure she completely ruined Castle for the rest of the day.

Walking over to the bed, unbeknown to Castle who still had his eyes closed, she reached into his boxers, freeing his erection from its restraints.

"Kate?" Castle questioned, eyes flying open in surprise.

Kate ignored him, as she slid her hand up and down his length, rubbing the tip with her thumb, loving the way Castle's stomach muscles visibly tightened in pleasure.

Waiting until he was watching her, she pushed her hair to one side before leaning down and licking all the way up his shaft before taking his head into her mouth, sucking on it momentarily before releasing it with a pop.

Knowing that Castle was already close by the way his eyes were squeezed closed and his hands were balled into a fist, Kate leaned over taking as much of him as she could into her mouth before sliding back up slowly. She continued that motion as her hands expertly worked the portion of his shaft she couldn't fit into her mouth, flicking the top of his head occasionally until she felt him convulse and empty himself into her mouth.

Swallowing every last drop, she leaned up and captured his mouth in a searing kiss before turning around and making her way to the door.

"See you later Ricky." She said with a smirk, disappearing out of the loft, leaving a slack jawed Castle behind.

Twenty minutes later, Kate arrived at the diner only to find Lanie already there.

"Hey Lanie, sorry I'm late." Kate said as she sat down in the booth across from the ME.

"Let me guess writer boy not let you get out of bed?" Lanie asked.

"Something like that." Kate said, blushing at the memory of this morning.

"What did writer boy do to you to make you blush like **that**?" Lanie asked with a smirk.

"More like what I did to him." Kate mumbled.

"Damn girl. I didn't know that you got freaky like that." Lanie said.

"Yeah, well it may have been my fault that he was in that… situation." Kate said.

"What did you do?" Lanie asked.

"Well, he wasn't letting me get up, so I may have suggested that I would have some fun with him when I got home while sitting on him in a suggestive manner." Kate chuckled.

"You've got that boy wrapped around your finger, don't you?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah, I kind of do, but I'm just as bad. I probably would have still jumped him when I got home even if he hadn't let me go." Kate said, not even ashamed.

"Girl, you've got it bad." Lanie said.

"I know! I used to think it was a bad thing to spend so much time with someone, but I can't even bring myself to care." Kate said as she turned to order her meal, Lanie doing the same.

"So I take it things are going better with you two ever since the party and the attack of the ex wife?" Lanie asked as the waitress came back with their drinks.

"That's a funny story." Kate said.

"Uh oh, you two didn't have another fight did you?" Lanie asked, worried.

"No. We're great, better than great." Kate said.

"What aren't you telling me? I have a feeling this better than great has absolutely nothing to do with sex." Lanie said.

"Its not. There actually hasn't been anything like that, minus this morning, since we left the hotel." Kate said.

"Okay so what's so great?" Lanie asked.

"Rick asked me to move in with him." Kate said with a smile.

"Seriously? When? How?" Lanie asked.

"We were watching a movie after Meredith stopped by and he just asked me." Kate said.

"Wait, Meredith showed up? Why?" Lanie asked.

"It's really a long story." Kate said.

"I've got nothing to do today. Spill." Lanie demanded.

"Well, when we got home from the party, Rick was in the bedroom changing and calling Paula about Gina and I was in the kitchen putting in an order for Chinese while we were waiting for Alexis to get home so we could have a movie marathon. I just got off the phone and heard someone come into the loft. I turned around assuming that it was Alexis, but was greeted with the sight of Meredith sneaking across the loft to the bedroom, stripping." Kate said with a wince, remembering the scene.

"No!" Lanie said in shock.

"Yeah, I was so shocked that I didn't know what to say so I just cleared my throat to get her attention. Long story short, she basically told me that I could show myself out. I believe her exact words were she didn't want to embarrass me because her and Richard tend to get rowdy." Kate said.

"That woman has got some nerve. What happened?" Lanie asked, curious as to how this ended.

"Castle came out of the bedroom and asked her what she was doing there. She told him she was there to see Alexis, which was probably a lie, seeing as how she didn't even check to see if she was home. After he told her that Alexis wasn't there she totally changed gears and started hitting on him telling him that they would have plenty of time to try for another 'top ten'. Castle of course told her no, even had to resort to physically putting distance between them, but she couldn't take a hint, kept telling him that she would wait for him to say goodbye to me." Kate said.

"I bet Castle didn't like that." Lanie said.

"No, he didn't. He told her that we were in a relationship, but even then she didn't back off, said she didn't mind sharing, but Castle said unlike her, he doesn't share." Kate said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lanie asked, confused.

"When they were married, Castle had to go to a meeting and Martha couldn't watch Alexis, so Meredith reluctantly agreed to watch her for a couple of hours. When Castle came home, Alexis was upstairs crying and Meredith was in their bed with her director." Kate said.

"Poor Castle." Lanie said sympathetically.

"Yeah, he went to a hotel for the night with Alexis, and when he got home there were divorce papers on the table, but even then he tried to fix things with Meredith, thinking that it was his fault. He took it pretty hard, which is probably one of the reasons he hides behind all of his humor." Kate said.

"That would make sense. So what did Meredith say after he told her he doesn't share?" Lanie asked.

"She asked if he was seriously choosing me over her. Castle told her no, there was no choice. She thought he meant that he was choosing her and told him she would wait in the bedroom, but Castle quickly clarified that he meant that even if he wasn't with me, he wouldn't be with her. He told her he didn't necessarily regret their relationship because it gave him Alexis, but he said he never should have gotten married and definitely shouldn't have rekindled their physical relationship."

"Wow, talk about being honest." Lanie chuckled.

"Yeah, she didn't look like she took it too well, but then Alexis came home." Kate said.

"Uh oh." Lanie said, knowing Castle hates his daughter having to deal with a mother like Meredith.

"It was actually kind of funny to start with. Alexis came home and intercepted the Chinese and was asking her dad if we made up because my Chinese was with theirs, and when she came into the room she didn't even notice Meredith, just ran straight to me and gave me a hug until her mom said something." Kate said.

" I bet Meredith loved that." Lanie said knowingly.

"Yeah, I called Alexis, Lex and she went all, 'that's not her name' which is when Alexis noticed her and asked her what she was doing here." Kate said.

"What was she doing there, minus the whole trying to sleep with Castle thing?" Lanie asked.

"She thought she would just stop in and try to take Alexis shopping for her prom dress. When Alexis told us that we already took her, Meredith wasn't very happy about it, even asked Castle what he was thinking letting their daughter roam the city with one of his little friends and her companions." Kate said.

"Damn." Lanie said.

"Yeah, Castle told her he trusted us and she said okay, even though I didn't get the impression she was very convinced." Kate said.

"Please tell me she left after that." Lanie said.

"No, she tried to get Alexis to still go shopping with her, but Alexis didn't want to go because we had planned the movie night, but Meredith I guess Meredith couldn't understand why she didn't want to go shopping, saying that surely we would understand if she rescheduled. You could tell Alexis was getting angry and she told Meredith that she wasn't going to just drop whatever she is doing every time she decides she wants to come into town, especially when they were supposed to have plans, but Meredith cancelled." Kate said.

"Let me guess, Meredith didn't understand?" Lanie asked.

"Nope, she said that she had a job to do and she couldn't just drop her work, the adult world didn't work like that." Kate said.

"What did Alexis say?" Lanie asked, getting excited, sensing something good was coming.

"You would have been so proud of her, I was proud of her. She told Meredith that that wasn't how the adult world worked, that was how the adult world worked for her. She went into this whole speech about how Castle would leave the most important meeting of his life if she needed him, how I would leave the biggest case if she needed me, she even brought you and Esposito and Ryan into it, saying they would even come and they didn't even have any obligation to. But she said that it didn't matter, she was done worrying about her mom being there for her. She was surrounded by people who love and care for her and if her mom doesn't want to be one of those people then its her loss and then she just turned around and went to her room." Kate said.

"That's my girl. Is that it?" Lanie asked.

"I went to go check on Alexis, Meredith trying to stop me of course saying I had no right, but I didn't listen to her. I don't know what happened after I left, but when Alexis and I came back downstairs, she was gone." Kate said.

"Hopefully for good. Is that when Castle asked you to move in?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah, we were just sitting there watching a movie, Alexis was asleep on the floor and he just said move in with me. I tried to tell him no at first, but I think that he planned for that and had a whole speech planned about how half my stuff was there anyway and how he wanted what we had right then. Us coming home together, me coming home to him, movie nights, waking up together, going to sleep together, basically he wanted a family and he wanted me to be a part of it. I wanted it too so I said yes."

"Awww. That's adorable, I'm so happy for you." Lanie practically squealed.

"That's not the best part." Kate said.

"Did he propose too?" Lanie asked, eyes going wide.

"Not technically…" Kate said hesitantly.

"That doesn't sound like a no." Lanie said.

"I don't really know how to explain it. When we went to bed, I was thinking about everything that happened, about how he was with Gina and Meredith and how I didn't want our relationship to one day turn into that. Of course, Castle could sense that something was wrong and asked me and wouldn't let it go, so we had this big discussion about his past marriages and what happened and such and when he was done explaining what went wrong, I asked him if he ever wanted to get married again. He told me after Gina, he thought for the longest time he would never get married again." Kate said.

"That makes it sound like he changed his mind." Lanie said, watching her friend who got that "there's something else I'm not telling you" look on her face letting her know that she was right. "What changed?"

"His exact words were I met you." Kate said.

"Oh my god, girl! He basically just told you that he wants to marry you!" Lanie squealed.

"I know, and I may have kind of told him that I want to marry him some day too. So I guess you can say we are engaged to be engaged?" Kate said, trying to figure out if that made sense.

"Wow." Lanie said, proud of her friend.

"I kind of lost my filter too." Kate said with a cheeky smile.

"What did you do?" Lanie asked.

"Well, I was telling him that he was my one and done, that I wanted marriage, kids, the whole thing." Kate said.

"Let me guess, he latched on to the kids part?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah. He looked like Christmas came early. He always wanted more kids after Alexis, he loved raising her. He always thought he might have more with Meredith, even though Meredith wasn't really any help, but then the whole cheating and divorce thing happened and Gina and kids were never an option so he kind of just gave up hope, not thinking that he would ever meet the right woman." Kate said.

"For two people who spent so much time denying their feelings for each other, you just jump right in." Lanie said with a chuckle.

"Shut up." Kate said as she placed her half of the bill on the table before bidding the ME goodbye before leaving the diner.

Lanie just sat there, smiling. There was one thing that she was sure of.

Wedding bells are in the air!

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay. I tried to write the past few days, but I was too nervous about the season finale.

Enjoy!


	65. Chapter 65

Chapter 65:

"Rick?" Kate called as she walked into the loft after her lunch with Lanie.

There was no answer and judging by the fact that there was no note or a text letting her know he was going out somewhere, she assumed he was in his office writing and didn't hear her.

Making her way across the loft, she was about to call out to Rick again to get his attention, but the sight before her made her stop and instead she settled with leaning against the door to watch her writer work.

She loved watching him while he wrote. She loved watching as his fingers danced across the keyboard in a steady beat, bringing his thoughts to life on the page. She loved how when he was writing he would be so zoned out from the rest of the world that you could probably do a circus act right in front of him and he wouldn't notice. She loved the way his fingers would still and his eyebrows would scrunch together while he tried to determine how to word something and then the way his face would light up when he figured it out.

She could never understand what he found so interesting about watching her work, especially when she was just filling out paperwork, but after watching him write, she imagined it did the same thing to him as it did to her.

Clearing her throat to get his attention, she watched as he finished whatever thought that was currently at the forefront of his imagination before looking up, his whole face lighting up when he saw her.

That was her favorite part about watching him write, the moment when he realized she was watching him write. His entire face lit up in pure joy when he saw her and it never failed to make her heart skip a beat.

Pushing her way off the doorway, she walked over to stand behind his chair, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind, her hands resting on his chest as she rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Hey." She said quietly. There was just something about his office that screamed silence.

"Hey beautiful, how is Lanie?" Castle asked as he strained his head sideways to place a kiss on her cheek.

"She's good. I told her I was moving in. I think she was more excited than Alexis and that is saying a lot because Alexis was pretty excited." Kate said with a chuckle.

"Why do I have the feeling that I'm going to have to increase my wine collection? Between my mother and how often you two have girls nights, there is going to be a wine shortage in New York." Castle asked.

"Oh please, you are always trying to buy me things, I am sure not only will you go and get us more wine, but I'm sure you will try to feed us too, not to mention the fact that I'm sure you are already thinking about all the different flavors of ice cream we will want." Kate said.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing that I want to spoil you rotten." Castle said.

"Not a bad thing, just different. I'm not used to it." Kate said.

"Well, you should get used to it. I can't wait until you finally sell your apartment because then I can spoil you rotten and there is nothing you can do about it." Castle said with a smirk.

"Why is it so important to you that I let you buy me things?" Kate asked.

He was always trying to buy her things, trying to pay for her lunches or dinners, even before they were dating. If they were out together and she saw something that she liked, he always offered to buy it for her. It was almost like he thought if he didn't offer, then she was going to leave him. She knows Meredith and Gina were really only there for the money and his fame, but surely he knew that she wasn't there for his money or fame, but simply for him.

Castle just shrugged. "The way I see it is I have far more money than I know what to do with so why not use it to help others, to make others happy. I didn't start writing for the money, I would continue writing even if there was no money, but I have had the good fortune to be successful. The money I have earned due to my novels has not only allowed me to make sure those I care about never struggle, but it also allows me to do something I always wanted to do and that's make a difference. I have more money than I will ever need and more money than I deserve so I might as well use it to help others and make others happy. That's why I want to buy you things, not because I'm trying to flaunt my money in your face or think you can't afford it or anything like that, but because I have money and I want to buy you things that you want because they make you happy and that's what I want, to make you happy." Castle said.

"Hmmm." Kate mumbled.

"I will never force you to accept my money no matter how far this relationship goes, but just know that it's there for your using and it makes me happy to know that I can do something to bring you happiness. If it's really that important to you, technically a large sum of it is yours." Castle said.

"How is a large sum of it mine?" Kate asked, confused.

"I have a large account set up from everything Nikki that I don't touch. I owe that success to you and therefore that money is yours. Without you, I would have never gotten it." Castle said simply.

"I can't use that money. I didn't do anything other than do my job. You were the one that wrote the novels." Kate said.

"Kate, without you doing your job, I would have never been able to get those novels written let alone come up with the idea. When you walked into that party, I was stuck. I killed of Derek Storm because I was bored with writing and I didn't know what to do about it. Then you walked in and it was literally like one of those moments in a cartoon where the light bulb goes off. I owe my career to you because had it not been for you, I probably wouldn't have ever written another novel in my life. I know you hate it when I call you my muse, but you truly are my muse. When you aren't here or we are fighting or I'm worried about you or you're shutting me out, I can't write. I need you to write. I'm not saying you have to use it all or spend it like crazy, but use it for things like taking you and Lanie to a spa day or on shopping trips with Alexis. I guess I'm just asking that you think about it and know that its there if you ever need to use it." Castle said.

"I suppose I can do that. Thank you." Kate said.

"I think I should be thanking you." Castle said, pulling her around so she was resting between the desk and him, his arms now wrapped around his waist, leaning up to give her a kiss.

"So what were you working on? Nikki?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, I seemed to have to come across a _stroke_ of inspiration this morning and my mind just took off." Castle said, his voice husky.

"Please tell me that didn't end up in your book, everyone will know." Kate said, pulling her hands up to her face in embarrassment.

"One, you know I never put anything that is private between us in my books, it just fueled a rather steamy scene between Nikki and Rook. Two, how would anyone know? It's not like I told or am going to tell me about your little treat you gave me this morning."

Kate just blushed, looking away from him, desperate to look anywhere but his eyes.

"Oh my god! Katherine Beckett, were you talking to our dearest medical examiner about what you did do me this morning? I'm never going to be able to go in the morgue again. She's going to be giving me that look that says she knows exactly where your mouth has been." Castle said with a shudder.

"Most guys would be thrilled to know that their girlfriends were bragging about their sex life." Kate said, raising her eye brow at him.

Castle's face just broke into a huge grin. He looked like someone just told him that his father was a real life James Bond.

"What?" Kate asked, confused at his sudden change in moods.

"You just called yourself my girlfriend." Castle said, grin growing wider, if that was even possible.

"Yeah? Am I not you're girlfriend?" Kate asked.

"You are, but I've never heard you say it before. If anyone asks you always say we are in a relationship, or we are dating, or simply I'm your partner. Never have you said you were my girlfriend." Castle said, still grinning.

"Really? You are this excited over the fact that I called myself your girlfriend?" Kate asked with a teasing smirk on her face.

"You don't understand how long I have waited to hear you say that. Ever since you walked into my book signing I have dreamt of the day Detective Katherine Beckett called herself my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure that is number one on my list of non-sexual Beckett fantasies." Castle said.

Kate was going to tease him for being so excited about something so menial, but looking at his face, a small part of her heart broke, because underneath the joy, she could see the little part of him that thought he would never get to hear her call herself his girlfriend.

"Hmm, well as your girlfriend I think that you should tell your girlfriend these fantasies you have about your girlfriend other than your girlfriend calling herself your girlfriend." Kate said with a smirk as she wrapped her hands around Castle's neck.

"Not you're just ruining it." Castle said, trying to pout but failing.

"Hmm, well if I'm ruining it then I guess your girlfriend can't fulfill the promises your girlfriend made to her boyfriend this morning about all the delicious things your girlfriend was going to do to you when your girlfriend got home from her lunch date with your girlfriend's best friend." Kate said.

"Oh no, please by all means, as your boyfriend I highly encourage you, my girlfriend, to do all the delicious thing you want to me." Castle said as he pulled Kate forward so she was now straddling him on his chair before leaning up to capture her lips.

When Castle moved to work on her neck, she rolled her hips, pressing more firmly against his growing erection.

"It seems my boyfriend is happy to see me." Kate said with a chuckle.

"Your boyfriend is always happy to see you. Sometimes your boyfriend is happy to see you at the most inconvenient times." Castle said as his hands snaked up to cup her breasts, tweaking her nipples which effectively cut of all Kate's trains of thoughts as she let out a soft moan and ground her hips into Castle's erection again.

Needing to feel skin, Kate ran her hands down Castle's chest and began yanking the bottom of his shirt upwards, breaking apart with Castle just long enough to pull his shirt over his head before he went back to his work on her neck, while simultaneously unbuttoning her shirt while she ran her hands up and down his toned chest. She loved his chest.

Castle began to work his way down her neck to her collar bone, ridding her of her shirt and bra before immediately taking one of her breasts into his mouth, alternating between sucking, nipping, and licking.

Throwing her head back in pure pleasure, Kate brought her other hand up to her unoccupied breast, massaging it and tweaking her nipple in between her thumb and first finger as her hips bucked against Castle's erection, hitting her clit over and over again.

Before she knew what was happening, her eyes grew wide as she took in a quick breath, arching her back, pushing her breast towards Castle as her orgasm washed over her.

When her tremors subsided, both her and Castle froze, neither of them expecting that.

"Did you just…?" Castle asked sitting back to look at her with a slight smirk on his face.

"That's never happened to me before." Kate said, surprised that she just had an orgasm from sitting on Castle, still clothed from the waist down while he sucked on her breasts.

"That was so hot!" Castle exclaimed with a huge grin.

"Shut up." Kate said, blushing, thinking he was making fun of her for losing control so quickly.

"No seriously, that was like the hottest thing I have ever seen." Castle said as his eyes grew darker in arousal.

"Really?" Kate asked.

"Really." Castle said as he leaned forward, catching Kate's lips in a passionate kiss as he lifted her up, setting her on his desk where he continued kissing her as he unbuttoned her pants, pulling them down along with her panties, throwing them somewhere in the room before shucking his pajama pants and boxers.

Castle sat back down in his chair, his cock standing at attention, as he took in the sight of Kate Beckett sitting on his desk completely naked.

He watched as she leaned back on the desk, supporting herself with one hand while she trailed her other hand down her chest, lightly squeezing each of her breasts before continuing downwards. He was pretty sure he was going to burst when she put one leg on each of the arms of his chair, opening herself up to him as she ran her fingers over her clit before inserting two of them into herself, eyes closing with the feeling.

Not being able to control himself, Castle positioned himself on the edge of his chair, leaning forward so his breath skated over her, causing her to shiver. Pulling her hand out of her, he replaced her fingers with his, slowly thrusting in and out of her as he took her clit into his mouth sucking on it, his tongue flicking over her bundle of nerves as he increased the speed of his thrusts with each new moan until he felt her clench around his fingers as she called his name is a breathless moan.

He didn't allow her to fully recover from her orgasm, but instead waited until it resided to just small shockwaves before he stood up and thrust himself into her in one motion, causing her to fall right back over the edge again with the new sensation.

He almost lost control right then and there when he felt her clench around him as soon as he entered her, but he held off and waited for her to come down from her orgasm before he started to move inside of her, leaning forward, bringing his lips to hers.

"Oh god, Rick, more. I need more." Kate moaned as she cupped her breasts.

Castle straightened up, pulling her closer to the edge of the desk so she could lean back on her elbows, causing him to thrust into at a new angle, an angle that caused her to let out a string of 'oh god's' and 'fuck yeahs' with each thrust.

Castle could feel himself getting close to the edge and knew he wasn't going to be hold on much longer so he sped up his thrusts, reaching down to press his thumb against her clit which brought out a whole new string of swear words as her inner walls clenched around him as one of the most intense orgasms she has ever had overtook her entire body, bringing Castle right over the edge with her as he spilled himself into her.

Castle collapsed against her, his cock still twitching inside of her with the after shocks, as they both tried to catch their breath.

They had barely had time to recover when Kate's phone started to ring.

"Don't answer it." Castle mumbled.

"What time is it?" Kate asked.

"6:30" Castle said, looking at the clock on his desk.

"I have to, I was on call a half an hour ago." Kate said as she pushed him off of her and went in search of her phone, picking it up right before it stopped ringing.

"Beckett." Kate answered. "Okay, we'll be right there."

"Gates needs us to come into the precinct. We've been requested to help with a case." Kate said as she started to get dressed.

"Can we ever have any time alone without getting interrupted?" Castle pouted.

"Well, I did put in to take a month off. Last two weeks of December and first two weeks of January." Kate said as she helped him button up his shirt.

"Oh really? And what do you plan on doing during that time/" Castle asked.

"Well, it is our first Christmas together and I am sure you are going to place mistletoes all over the loft. I simply thought we should put them to good use." Kate said as she patted his chest and slipped into her shoes, grabbing her badge and gun.

"I like that idea." Castle said with a smirk.

All the way to the precinct, Castle was thinking about the interesting places he could hang mistletoes. He would definitely have to put one over the bed, and in the bathroom, maybe one above his desk and one in the kitchen, but he would have to make sure he took that one down when Alexis was in the house.

As they stepped into the elevator at the precinct, Kate noticed he was deep in thought with a slight smirk on his face.

"You're thinking about all the places you can put a mistletoe aren't you?" Kate asked.

"You know me so well." Castle said, giving her a chaste kiss right before the elevator doors opened.

As they stepped off the elevator, their eyes immediately went to Castle's chair that was next to her desk. There was somebody sitting in it, obviously waiting for them.

As they approached her desk, Kate wanted to shoot someone for her luck with the exes this week and Castle's fists clenched as he realized who was sitting in her chair.

Demming.

* * *

**A/N: **So I got a bit carried away haha. I had plans to introduce Demming like two chapters ago, but I just can't help it when the creative juices take over and I can't deny the words that want to come out.

Enjoy!

I should be updating more frequently for a little while because I just finished school, so I am officially on summer vacation.

Please Review!


	66. Chapter 66

Chapter 66:

_As they stepped off the elevator, their eyes immediately went to Castle's chair that was next to her desk. There was somebody sitting in it, obviously waiting for them. _

_As they approached her desk, Kate wanted to shoot someone for her luck with the exes this week and Castle's fists clenched as he realized who was sitting in his chair. _

_Demming. _

As much as he didn't want to leave Kate alone with Demming, Castle knew that she was going to need coffee, especially since it was almost seven and they haven't even started the case yet. So while Kate made her way to her desk, Castle made his way to the break room to make them a cup of coffee.

As Kate approached her desk, Demming looked up, probably hearing the sound of her heels clicking against the floor, and broke into a smile that gave Kate the creeps. She knows that smile, it was the same smile that he used to give her when they were dating.

"Hey Kate." He said, his voice laced with charm.

"It's Detective Beckett." Kate said, still not making eye contact with him as she arranged her desk the way she liked it.

"What?" Demming asked confused.

"We are at the precinct, I expect everyone to call me Detective Beckett, Beckett, or simply Detective will do." Kate said coolly as she sat down at her desk.

"Right, well maybe later we can go some place where you can call me Tom and I can call you Kate." Demming said with a cocky grin like he believed he could pick up any girl he wanted.

Kate took a deep breath so she wouldn't lose her cool, folded her hands, and looked at Demming with a blank expression on her face.

"Can you please find another chair or stand?" Kate asked.

"What's wrong with this chair?" Demming asked, pretending to get more comfortable.

"That's my partner's chair." Kate said simply. Everyone at the precinct knew that you don't sit in Castle's chair, even if they all knew he was coming in. Even the Captain knows not to sit in Castle's chair.

"Oh, you got a new partner? I can't wait to meet him, I bet it's much better than having Richard Castle follow you around for research. He was a bit pathetic when I was here last time, always hanging around like a love-sick puppy, running away because he couldn't get into your pants.' Demming said with a laugh just as Castle stepped up to the desk, setting a cup of coffee down in front of Kate.

"That's my seat." Castle said, as Ryan and Esposito arrived and made their way over to them.

"You're still here?" Demming asked with a smirk, as he stood up, allowing Castle to sit in his chair. "Don't you have enough research for your books by now or do you really have that much trouble with your novels that you constantly have to play cop?"

Castle ignored his jibes, simply took a cup of coffee, and then looked at Demming.

"So, what do you need our help on?" Castle asked as Kate got up to start the murder board with the files that Demming had brought.

"I don't need your help, nor Detective Esposito's or Detective Ryan's. I specifically requested Detective Beckett's and Detective Beckett's only." Demming said like he actually thought they were going to listen to him.

"They are my team, Detective Demming. I work with my team whether or not you requested them." Kate said.

"Fine, Esposito and Ryan can stay, but I'm not working with a civilian." Demming said. As long as Castle was there, he knew he wasn't going to have a chance to get Beckett alone, it was clear he still had the same love-sick puppy look he had the last time they worked together on a case.

This time, it wasn't Kate that came to their defense, it was Esposito and Ryan.

"Dude, you just heard her. We are her team and that team includes Castle." Esposito said, crossing his arms, giving his best tough cop look.

"It's all of us, or none of us." Ryan added, looking surprisingly scarier than his usual self.

Kate was lucky she was facing the murder board because she couldn't have controlled the smile that came over her face if she wanted to. She absolutely loved how the boys stuck up for Castle and considered him one of them. It didn't matter that he wasn't a cop, they trusted him and knew that no matter what happened, he would have her back, he would even have their back if they needed it. He was truly part of the team.

They worked for the next two hours, going over the evidence that Demming and his team gathered, seeing if they could find anything that they missed. There was countless times when Demming would come up with an idea and would try to get Beckett to build a theory with him like they did when they were together, but every time, Castle would always interrupt and before you know it Beckett and Castle were going back and forth like a tennis match until they took his idea and came up with something entirely new that made even more sense than his original idea. He felt like he wasn't even needed there to solve his own case and was losing hope that he would ever get to talk to Beckett alone.

Luckily, since it was such a weird hour when they were called in, none of them had eaten dinner so after a couple of hours of working, Castle suggested Chinese and placed the order to have it delivered.

About a half an hour later, Beckett's desk phone rang letting them know that their food was here and Castle promptly excused himself to go pick it up. This was going to be Demming's only chance.

"Detective Beckett, may I speak to you privately?" Demming asked.

Kate looked like she didn't want to talk to him, knowing that he was probably going to try to get back together with her, but reluctantly nodded her head and got up and followed him into the break room right as Lanie came up from the morgue to get her food

"What's going on?" she asked Esposito and Ryan, nodding towards the break room.

"We are convinced that he is about to put the moves on Beckett. He's been trying to flirt with her since he got here, but Beckett hasn't even noticed him because she's been too busy doing her weird theory building thing with Castle." Ryan said.

"It's kind of funny, actually. They have both proven Demming wrong on multiple occasions and Demming does not look pleased. I'm pretty sure if Beckett weren't here, he would have probably sucker punched Castle in the face. Then again, if Beckett wasn't here, Castle wouldn't be either." Esposito added.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I never liked that guy. Text Castle and let him know someone's trying to put the moves on his woman. We should get quite a show." Lanie said with a smirk as Esposito pulled out his phone, shooting Castle a quick text.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

Kate followed Demming into the break room and closed the door behind him, knowing that the boys and Lanie who had just arrived would be trying to snoop on their conversation.

"What do you need Detective Demming?" Kate asked.

"Kate…" Demming started before being interrupted by Kate.

"I've already asked you to call me Detective Beckett." Kate said.

"Castle calls you Kate. Why can't I?" Demming asked, pissed off.

"Because I told Castle he could call me Kate, I asked you to call me Detective, Beckett, or Detective Beckett." Kate said simply.

"Okay, fine whatever. What I was trying to say was that I want to give us another shot. I've missed you ever since we ended things. I should have fought for you, but I didn't, but now I am. I want to take you out on a date and try again because you are an amazing woman and I want to see where we can go with this." Demming said.

"I'm seeing someone." Beckett said.

"Who?" Demming asked.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

It was a matter of no time before Castle was back carrying the bags of Chinese.

"What's going on?" he asked as he approached Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie as he looked into the break room at Demming and his girlfriend.

"Demming is trying to put the moves on your girl." Lanie said.

"That's it?" Castle asked.

"Seriously bro? Another man is trying to put the moves on your woman. If someone was putting the moves on Lanie, I would be marking my territory." Esposito said.

"Yeah, well I have nothing to worry about." Castle said.

"How can you be so sure?" Ryan asked.

"Simple. I know her tells and right now I can tell that she would rather be anywhere but in that room with her. Plus I love her and she loves me. I trust her." Castle said with a shrug.

"Damn, writer boy, we wanted a show." Lanie sighed in frustration.

"Huh?" Castle asked.

"Demming is kind of an arrogant asshole and we were hoping you would come up here and wipe that smug smirk off his face." Esposito said.

"Oh, well if it's a show you want, I can give you a show." Castle said as he leaned in to tell them his plan.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooo

"My personal life is none of your business." Beckett said.

"That just means you aren't seeing anyone and you are trying to make up an excuse because you are worried that what we could have is real." Demming said.

Kate couldn't help it but snort at that comment.

"Please, I am not at all scared of having something real with you, because I know real and it is definitely not you." Kate said.

"Then why won't you tell me who you are seeing?" Demming asked.

Kate was about to answer when the door to the break room opened and Castle, Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie came walking in carrying Chinese, plates and drinks.

"We are having a private conversation in here." Demming said, annoyed at the rude interruption.

"No, we're done." Kate said as she went over to the table, leaving Demming standing by the coffee machine.

"Kate, Alexis called looking for you. You left your phone on your desk and I saw it was her so I answered." Castle said.

"Who's Alexis?" Demming asked.

"Castle's daughter." Ryan said as he grabbed an eggroll.

"Why is your daughter calling Detective Beckett? Is she in trouble?" Demming asked.

Everyone at the table laughed.

"What's so funny?" Demming asked.

"Alexis doesn't get in trouble. Castle is more likely to get to carry a gun than Alexis is to get in trouble." Lanie added.

"Hey! I resent that. I really don't understand why I can't carry a gun." Castle said, pouting.

"Poor baby." Kate said, reaching over to pat him on the cheek, the rest of the table almost choking on their food as they tried to stop their laughter at the look on Demming's face.

Castle smiled before turning back to Demming. "She called Kate because she wanted to know if Lanie and her wanted to have a girls day after they finished helping Kate pack."

"Are you going on vacation?" Demming asked Kate, still standing by the coffee machine.

"Nope." Kate said, taking a bite of her food.

"Why are you packing then?" Demming asked, eliciting an eye roll he couldn't see from Beckett.

"She's moving into Castle's loft." Lanie said with a smirk, knowing this was going to get entertaining.

"Wait, you mean the guy you are in a relationship with is Castle?" Demming asked.

"The one and only." Castle said, leaning over to give Kate a kiss, which she eagerly returned.

"What do you possible see in him? He's a writer playing cop who has probably slept with every woman in New York." Demming spat.

Once again, Kate wasn't the one to answer.

"He ran into a burning building after some serial killer blew up her apartment." Ryan said.

"He realized that the same serial killer was tricking us and not only saved Beckett, but also an entire swat team of FBI agents who were about to be blown to smithereens." Esposito added.

"He knocked the shit out of a someone who was trying to shoot my girl." Lanie said.

"He almost lost his life because he used all of his body heat to make sure Beckett stayed alive when they got trapped in a freezer." Ryan said.

"On the same case, he took a chance and pulled all the wires out of a dirty bomb not only saving their lives, but who knows how many lives in New York City, including yours." Esposito said.

"He almost died because he jumped in front of a bullet intended for Kate at our Captain's funeral." Lanie said, the room suddenly going quiet with the reminder.

"He's a great father, he knows when I need someone and when I need space, he has always been their for me, he makes me happy, he helped me move past something that has controlled my entire life, but mainly he loves me like no one has ever loved me before." Kate said, taking Castle's hand with a smile on her face.

Demming just looked at them all, the vein in his forehead throbbing before he turned to storm out of the break room.

"Demming, wait!" Castle called before he left.

"What?" Demming spat.

"Your killer is the father, the thief is his daughter. Tell him that if he doesn't confess his daughter will take the fall and you'll get a confession." Castle said with a wave, dismissing Demming.

As soon as the door slammed shut behind him, the entire team broke out into laughter.

When they finally calmed down, Beckett took her phone off the table from where Castle set it down.

"Hey, Alexis didn't call me?" Kate said in confusion.

Castle just smirked.

"If someone asks me for a show, I'm going to give them a show." Castle said.

The room was filled once again with the sounds of laughter from a team that would do anything for one another.

* * *

**A/N:** Here we go, I decided to redo this chapter and I like this one a lot better than the other one

Enjoy and review!


	67. Chapter 67

Chapter 67:

Gates came into the precinct about ten minutes after Demming left, expecting her team to be working on the case they were requested to help with. Instead, she was met with a deserted murder board with the case information on it and laughter coming from the break room, which she decided to investigate.

"Would one of you like to explain to me why I called in my team to help on a case, but instead of finding you actually working, you are all in here messing around?" Gates asked.

"We solved the case, sir. We went through all the evidence that Detective Demming brought us and then decided to take a short dinner break to clear our minds, but I guess something clicked here for Castle and he figured it out." Ryan said.

"And where is Detective Demming, seeing as how this is his case?" Gates asked.

"He left." Esposito said.

"He left?" Gates asked.

"He was getting on our boy's case." Esposito said, slapping Castle on the back.

"We made sure he knew how valuable he was to the team." Ryan added.

Gates studied her team before nodding. "Very well, finish up here and get the murder board cleaned up. I don't want to see any of you here before noon tomorrow since you voluntarily came in during your time off."

"Yes sir." The team chimed together.

With one last nod, Gates disappeared out of the break room and into her office with a slight smile on her face. She would never admit it to anyone, but she was proud of the way her team stuck up for Mr. Castle and how they considered him a part of their team, even though he wasn't a cop. Sure, he was a hassle and rarely took things seriously, but his prescence made her people better and he more than proved himself when he jumped in front of the bullet intended for Detective Beckett. Anyone who would take a bullet for someone else deserved a chance in her book.

"Well, since we don't have to be in until afternoon tomorrow, why don't we clean all this up and take this party to the Old Haunt?" Castle asked after Gates left.

"I'm in." Esposito said.

"I've got tomorrow off so I'm in. I just have to go clean up the morgue. Javi can you give me a ride?" Lanie asked.

"You bet I can chica." Esposito said as he followed her out of the room and down to the morgue.

"I'm in, but I'm going to go pick up Jenny. Do you need me to stay to help you clean up before I go?" Ryan asked.

"No, we can handle things here. We will meet you at the bar." Beckett said as she got up and started throwing away the empty Chinese cartons with the help of Castle before making her way into the bullpen to put everything involving the case into it's box, handing it to a uniform, telling him to make sure it got back to Detective Demming in robbery.

Ten minutes later, after Beckett straightened her desk, she stood up, letting Castle help her into her jacket before walking hand in hand to the elevator.

When the doors to the elevator finally shut, Castle pulled the hand he was holding, pulling Kate into him, leaning down to press his lips to hers in a kiss that left them both breathless.

"What was that for?" Kate asked as she stumbled out of the elevator, still a little disoriented from the kiss.

"Even though I know that you are with me and you had no interest in Demming, it was still hard to sit there and watch him undress you with his eyes all night. Plus, the last time he was here, when you were with him, all I could think about was much I wanted to be able to just grab you and kiss you and now I can so I did." Castle said with a smile.

"I know this is a sore subject for you, but when I was with Demming before, I can't tell you how many times I wished that you would just get up the nerve to tell me how you feel, get up the nerve to walk up to me and kiss me even though I was technically with Demming. Every time he was around I could see how it was affecting you, and while I regret doing that to you, I couldn't help but hope that one day you would act on what I could see you trying to hold back." Kate said as they got into her car.

"I never would have guessed that." Castle said.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked as she pulled into traffic, heading to the bar.

"I mean when Demming was around, you turned down any theory I had before I even had a chance to explain, you would build theory with him, you would drink his coffee, it was like he took my place as your partner, but it doesn't matter now because even though he had you then, I've got you now. You are going to be coming home with me every night, going to sleep with me every night and while it might have been hard now, it got us here and I wouldn't change that for the world." Castle said, taking their entwined hands and placing a kiss on her hand as they pulled up in front of the bar, before letting it go to get out of the car.

Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, and Jenny were already there so Kate went to sit down at the booth while Castle got them drinks before joining them.

The moment he sat down he placed his hand on Kate's leg and she placed her hand on top of his, interlocking their fingers.

"So, do you think Demming is going to be asking for our help on any more cases?" Ryan asked.

"I think he learned his lesson." Lanie said with a chuckle.

"Who's Demming?" Jenny asked.

"He's a detective in the robbery department." Ryan said.

"Beckett and him had a bit of a thing back in the day and apparently he didn't hear the news of our newest couple and specifically requested our help, well more like her help, so he could put the moves on her." Esposito said.

"Oh no." Jenny said, looking at Kate and Castle, expecting tension, but only found them smiling, Kate leaning into Castle's side.

"Don't worry honey," Lanie said. "We made sure he knew that Kate was off the table, permanently."

"Oh, are you two engaged?" Jenny asked innocently which caused Kate to choke on the drink she just took a sip of, Castle to look like a dear in the headlights, while Esposito, Ryan, and Lanie snickered.

"No." Kate said, shaking her head enthusiastically. "I'm just moving in."

"Oh! Congratulations!" Jenny said, going back to her drink like she didn't just suggest that they were getting married, which caused Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan to laugh even harder.

"Speaking of moving, Esposito and Ryan, I'm going to need your help to move some of the bigger things to Rick's apartment. I don't have to much that needs to be moved, but I'm bring my bookshelves and a few couches." Kate said.

"What if we have plans?" Esposito asked, pretending to be offended that she would just assume that he had nothing better to do than help her.

"Well, seeing as how everyone you hang out with is going to be helping me, I think you're covered." Kate said with a smirk.

"Give it up, baby. I already told her that you would help her." Lanie said.

"Whipped." Castle coughed, earning him glares from Esposito.

"And you're not whipped? Bro, you bring Beckett a coffee and bear claw every morning and you are constantly on coffee runs for her." Esposito said.

"Yes I do because they make her smile. If something as simple as coffee makes her smile then I will buy her all the coffee in the world." Castle said, giving Kate his big goofy grin, earning him one of Kate's smiles that he loves so much.

"Aw, that's so sweet." Jenny cooed.

"Yeah Javi, that is sweet, why don't you bring Lanie coffee and a bear claw every morning?" Kate asked with a smirk. No one made fun of Castle for getting her coffee. It was one of the things she loved most about him.

"Now that I think about it, Castle has brought me more coffee than you have." Lanie said, turning to face Esposito with her arms crossed.

"Thanks guys." Esposito said sarcastically, earning laughs from everyone around the table.

The rest of the table fell into light conversation, talking about everything and anything, but Castle and Kate weren't paying attention.

Kate was distracted by the fact that Castle's hand had inched its way upwards throughout the evening and if she pushed her hips forward at the right angle, his fingers would press into her.

Castle was distracted by the fact that Kate was sitting next to him, in front of all their friends, seeking the pressure of his fingers against her core. She had also found his ear very enticing and was alternating between whispering what she wanted him to do to her and nibbling on his ear which was not helping the direction his blood was flowing.

When Castle could no longer handle it and the need to do something became overwhelming he leaned over and simply whispered 'office' in Kate's ear before he excused himself, saying he was going to go check on the books before they left.

Kate waited five minutes, attempting to take part in the conversation before she excused herself to use the bathroom.

"Do they really think we don't know what they are doing?" Jenny asked as they watched Kate pretend to head towards the bathroom before she disappeared through the entrance to the office.

"Castle?" Kate called as she descended the stairs to the underground office.

She had barely stepped off the last step before Castle pushed her up against the wall next to the stairs, placing both of his hands on either side of her body, effectively trapping her there.

"Do you know how hard it was for me not to take you right there on the table with you whispering all those dirty things in my ear, for you doing all those naughty things to my ear?" Castle growled.

"No." Kate gasped as Castle started to suck on her neck.

"It was just as hard for me as it was for you to try and control the fact that you were trying to get my to press my hand against you out there. Don't think I didn't notice the way you keep slightly pushing your hips forward into my hand." Castle growled as he made his way down her neck, to her collarbone, and then stringing a series of kisses in a path down of her newly exposed skin as he unbuttoned her shirt, before he kissed her as he pushed her shirt off her shoulders, throwing it onto his desk in the corner.

Kate didn't waste any time unbuttoning Castle's shirt, pushing it off his shoulders before reaching down to devoid him of his pants, leaving him in only his boxers.

"You have to many clothes on." Castle said as he unbuckled her bra, throwing it somewhere in the room before taking one of her breasts in his mouth while his other handed made its way down her side, unbuttoning her pants before reaching underneath her pants waistline and panties, finding her clit, rubbing small, fast circles against it, causing Kate's hips to buck against his hand as she cried out for more.

Removing his hand from Kate's pants, ignoring Kate's whimpering at the loss of friction, Castle reached down, pulling her pants down along with her panties, removing his boxers at the same time before he leaned back in to attack her neck, running his hands down her back to her ass, giving it a quick squeeze, before grabbing her thighs and hoisting her up so she sank down onto him with a cry of pleasure.

Pressing her back into the wall for the extra support, he pressed his forehead into hers, not breaking eye contact, their mouths inches apart as Castle began thrusting in and out of her as fast as he could, eliciting moans and screams of pleasure from Kate like he's never heard before.

Castle could tell when Kate was about to fall over the edge before he felt it. Her eyes went wide and she took a quick intake of breath before her entire body started shuddering in pleasure as they both fell over the edge.

He wasn't sure how long they stood there, trying to catch his breath, but eventually, he let Kate slide down to the ground, each of them finding their clothes in silence before giving each other one more brief kiss before heading back up to their friends who they abandoned.

However, when they made their way into the bar, they found it empty. They made their way over to their table to clean up and laughed at the note they had left.

"_You might want to sound proof your office… nobody needs to hear that"_

* * *

**A/N: **Well what do you think? Let me know


	68. Chapter 68

Chapter 68:

She silently approached the door, gun drawn, breathing shallow to keep her hands steady in case she would have to pull off a quick shot.

Her steps were calculated, her feet carefully placed on the ground in front of her so that she didn't make a sound, one wrong move and he would know she was approaching, trying to catch him by surprise.

When she finally reached the door, she pressed herself firmly against the wall before crouching down slightly, hoping that if he knew she was here, the change in her height would cause him to misfire, allowing her to take him out before he could get another shot off.

As she took a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart, she peered through the small crack in the door.

From what she could see, it was pitch black. The only light present was whatever was given off through the large windows, but even then it wasn't very much.

Tearing her eyes away from the door, she closed her eyes, heightening her other senses temporarily.

There wasn't any hint that he was even here, in fact, if it were any other day, she might think that it was nothing but empty apartment beyond this door, but she knew better, she knew how he acted, knew his MO. He was here, she just knew it, she could practically smell him if she concentrated hard enough.

He was definitely here and it was up to her to take him out, she had no back up and she wasn't going to get any. She had to do this alone.

Still crouched, gun at the ready, she placed her free hand on the door, increasing the crack in the door by a few inches, only to freeze when she heard a floorboard creek from somewhere deep in the apartment.

Taking a deep breath, she let her cop instincts take over and relied on everything she learned over the years.

She knew she would be a visible target if she opened the door any further, but she needed to get into past the door, she needed to be able to survey the rest of the room to determine what move to take next.

Glancing through the crack in the door, she noticed the couch, positioned about five feet away from the door. It was close to the wall, so as long as she stayed to the far end closest to her, it would give her cover while allowing her to investigate the rest of the room, see if she could figure out where he was hiding.

The only problem was the fact that she currently didn't know where he was. For all she knew, he could be right on the other side of the door, ready to pounce when she made an appearance, but while what was on the other side of the door remained unknown, she knew that she couldn't sit there waiting for him to make a move. The room she was in had very little opportunity for cover and if he decided that he was tired of waiting she would be an easy target. Her only option was to move, and to move quickly.

Taking a few more deep breaths, she listened one more time, tying to hear any sign of movement that would give away his position, but she heard nothing and knew it was time to move. Standing up from her crouch, she readjusted her grip on her gun so she wouldn't lose it and in one swift movement pushed the door fully open before leaping into a diving roll, coming to a stop behind the couch, barely avoiding a shot meant for her from somewhere in the vast expansion of space behind her.

Opening her ears to the noises in the apartment, she could hear the faint whisper of a breath coming from somewhere near the stairs and guessed he was seeking cover in the little alcove formed from the design of the staircase.

She knew that there was no way she could get off a clean shot from where she was and if she tried, he would more than likely get the jump on her instead.

She needed to somehow draw him out of his hiding spot, but how?

Looking around to find something that could help her, she noticed movement coming from above her.

At first she thought that he was going to try and attack her from above and she had missed him moving while she was distracted looking around for something to help her, but when nothing came at her from over the couch, she realized it was just the reflection in the window.

From the angle she was sitting at on the floor, she had a perfect view of the apartment behind her through the reflection in the window and seeing as how she didn't notice the reflection when she was hiding behind the door, she was pretty sure he didn't have the same luxury.

Studying the reflection, her suspicions were confirmed. He had crammed himself into the small alcove and occasionally was peeking his head out to see if she had moved and he had a clean shot. Looking around she noticed a pillow sitting on the floor at the other end of the couch. Perfect.

Laying down on her stomach, she slowly army crawled her way to the pillow, pulling it behind the couch with her before sitting back up again.

Checking the reflection, she could see him poking his head out, obviously thinking she was making a break for it into the kitchen when she moved from one end of the couch to the other. It made what she was about to do even easier because he was already suspecting her to move.

Making sure her head didn't pop above the couch, she slowly repositioned herself on her knees, moving the pillow to her right side before grabbing it with her left.

Watching the window, she waited until he popped his head out again before taking action.

When he poked his head out, she tossed the pillow into the kitchen, causing it to not only thud, but also slide into the counter, convincingly sounding like she just dove into the kitchen.

Thinking she was now in the kitchen, her target emerged from his hiding spot and began to silently creep towards the kitchen, protected by the cover of the stairs.

Without making any noise, she crept back to the other side of the couch and then slowly crept towards him until she was less than a foot behind him, gun held high, pointing right at the center of his back.

"Boo." She said as she pulled her trigger, hitting him square in the back.

"**Game. Over.**" Came the voice of the operating system in their vests.

"Ha! I win again. Gee Castle, I would have thought that you would be better at this game seeing as how much you would always say you play it." Beckett smirked.

"How did you get behind me? I swore I heard you go into the kitchen." Castle said in a whine, not taking the loss very well.

Kate just smirked and walked past him, picking up the pillow that proved to be the perfect distraction.

"Really, you threw a pillow into the kitchen and I fell for it thinking it was you?" Castle asked.

"You really are gullible." Kate said with another smirk.

"One more game, I am definitely going to beat you this time." Castle said.

"Oh you mean like you said the last three times we've played." Kate said as her phone started ringing.

"Beckett." She answered. "Okay I'll be right there."

"Body?" Castle asked as he unbuttoned his vest, Kate doing the same.

"No, the suspect from the other day is awake in the hospital, they are going to have to bring him for more surgery tomorrow so if I want to talk to him I have to get over there now, you coming?" Kate asked.

"I think I will pass, I'm not a fan of hospitals." Castle said with a shudder.

"Okay, I don't expect to be long so how about Italian for dinner? Have it ready when I get home?" Kate asked, giving him a kiss goodbye.

"You got it and I am never going to get used to you calling the loft home." Castle said, grabbing her arm as she went to talk to the door, pulling her back in for another kiss that was far too heated for a goodbye kiss.

"I have to go." Kate said as she pulled away, even though she made no moves to go to the door.

"I know, just didn't want you to forget what you were coming home to." Castle said as he gave her one more chaste kiss before moving into the kitchen to order their food.

Kate just shook her head, not even attempting to hide her smile as she made her way out of the loft and to the hospital.

Thirty frustrating minutes later, she pulled up in front of the hospital, slapping her police pass on the dashboard so she could park right outside the emergency room, before making her way to the nurse's station.

"Hi, I'm Detective Beckett, NYPD. I got a call about one of our suspects who was admitted to the hospital the other day, I was told he was awake and I was able to question him before he went into surgery tomorrow." Kate said, flashing her badge.

"Of course. Give me one moment please." The nurse said before disappearing through a door.

Kate hated hospitals, especially the ER. The last time she was here, she was covered in Castle's blood and he was fighting for his life all because he jumped in front of a bullet for her. If it was so important that they question the suspect as soon as possible she would have gotten Esposito or Ryan to come in and question him.

"Detective Beckett, Dr. Davidson will be right out to bring you to your suspect." The nurse said as she returned.

"Wait, did you say Dr. Davidson, as in Josh Davidson?" Kate asked, eyes going wide.

"Kate?" came a voice she would know anywhere.

Sure, enough, when she turned around, Josh was standing there.

It was just her luck that the first time she came back to the hospital, Josh was their suspect's doctor.

"Josh." Kate said, keeping her face expressionless.

Josh didn't say anything, he just stood there staring at her.

"Uh, Josh, I'm kind of in a hurry so if you could bring me to the patient." Kate said, snapping Josh out of whatever trance he was in.

"Right, follow me." Josh said, turning around and leading her into the patients room where he excused himself to allow Kate to question him in privacy.

Josh was waiting for her when she came out of the questioning a half an hour later, much to Kate's disappointment, she was hoping that he got called to surgery.

"Thanks. I have everything I need so whenever he is ready to be released just call the 12th and they will send a couple of uniforms over to take him in." Kate said, turning and practically running out of the ER before Josh could say anything else.

As Josh watched her go, he couldn't remember the last time he felt that happy, simply just to see her. He knew he messed up when Castle was in the hospital, but he wasn't going to mess up again.

Tomorrow he was going to go win back Kate Beckett.


	69. Chapter 69

Chapter 69:

Kate was roused from her sleep the next morning as the smell of bacon and coffee began to seep into the room, waking up her empty stomach.

Rolling over, she was surprised to find the bed next to her empty. She had assumed that it was Alexis making breakfast, not Castle, especially since his sleep schedule usually involved going to sleep somewhere around three in the morning and not waking up until noon.

Rolling back over, she remembered the first time she woke up to find the bed next to her empty.

_They had been working on a case that found them at the precinct early in the morning and staying late into the night. When they had finally put the pieces together and closed the case, Castle and Kate went back to the loft and immediately fell into bed, ready to catch up on all the sleep they have been missing the past few days. _

_Somewhere around midnight, something roused Kate from her sleep. Glancing at the clock, she figured out that it was still the middle of the night and she had only been asleep for a few hours. _

_Rolling over, seeking Castle's warmth, she was confused to find his side of the bed empty. _

_Slipping out of bed, she made her way to the bedroom door and into the study, where she found Castle sitting at his desk, engrossed in his writing. _

"_Hey, everything alright?" she asked, confused as to why he was up and writing at 12 at night. _

"_Yeah." He said without looking up, "I just got an idea and had to get it down, go back to bed, I'll be there in a little bit." _

_Kate didn't think much of it at the time, after all, there were countless times where Castle would pull out his notebook at the precinct to jot down an idea he got from the case they were currently working on, but the longer she waited for Castle to come back to bed, the more her brain started to over think things and by the time he crawled into bed around three in the morning, she had convinced herself that he couldn't sleep because he realized that he didn't want her there, that he got into her into bed and now he realized that he was bored with her, just like she always feared. _

_It was safe to say, she didn't sleep for the rest of the night, even when Castle wrapped her in his arms and his breathing evened out indicating that he had fallen asleep rather quickly. _

_The next day, they caught a case early in the morning and it wasn't until about six that night when they finally got a confession and Kate sat down to do the paperwork. _

"_That was Alexis calling, she was wondering if you were coming over tonight?" Castle asked as he sat down in his chair after getting he a cup of coffee. _

"_I think I'm going to head home after I'm done." Kate said. _

"_Okay, I'll text her and let her know that we won't be home." Castle said. _

"_I meant that I'm going home alone, Castle. I just need some time alone." Kate said, choosing to ignore the look of hurt that washed over his features. _

"_Oh, okay." Castle said. _

_That's how it went for the next week, each night he would ask her to come back to the loft with him and each night she would turn him down. _

_She noticed the bags that seemed to grow darker with each passing day. She noticed that he seemed to be more tired, his skin having a pale complexion that came along with over exhaustion. She even noticed the fact that his eyes didn't light up the way they used to, but she chose to ignore it, bidding him good night and heading home.  
_

_Later that night, she was just about to soak in a warm bath with a class of wine and one of his books when someone knocked on the door. _

_Pulling her robe back on, she padded her way across her apartment, opening the door to a rather disheveled looking Castle standing outside her door, his hair ruffled like he had ran his hand through it one too many times. _

"_Castle?" she asked him as he pushed his way past her and into her apartment. _

_Kate closed the door before turning back to him. _

"_Are you done with me?" Castle asked the second she turned around. _

"_What?" she asked. _

"_Are you done with me, with us? Because that's the only thing I can come up with. Everything was going great and then suddenly you refuse to come home with me or let me come here with you, you barely smile when I hand you coffee in the morning and you are back to being closed off, shutting me out like you did before the shooting. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out whether or not I did something to upset you, but I can't figure anything out so the only thing I could think of is that you realized that you don't want this." Castle said, running his hand through his hair again in frustration. _

_Kate just stood there, flabbergasted, her mouth opening and then closing over and over again before she managed to find her voice. _

"_I though you were done with me, that you realized that it really was just the chase, that you don't really love me and you were bored with me and were trying to figure out how to get rid of me." Kate said quietly. _

"_What could possibly make you think that?" Castle asked. _

"_The other night, I woke up and you weren't there, I thought that you couldn't sleep because you didn't want me there." Kate said looking at the ground. _

_Castle crossed the room in two steps and wrapped his arms around her. _

"_Kate, the only time I haven't slept because of you was this past week when you weren't there with me. My bed was so empty without you, I couldn't sleep and I thought that we were going to be over before we even got a chance. I was up that night because I really did have an idea that I had to get down. When I spend time with you, it's like the ideas just crash over me. That's normal for me. I don't usually go to sleep before three in the morning and if I don't get called in for a case, I don't usually get up until twelve. I would have brought my laptop into the bedroom, but I didn't want to wake you up." _

"_So it wasn't because of me that you couldn't sleep?" Kate asked. _

"_It was because of you, but only because you are so extraordinary, but I never want to have to go to sleep without you again whether its here or at the loft. You scared me Kate, never do that to me again. If something is bothering you, come to me and we can solve it together okay? Now let's go to bed, I'm exhausted." Castle said pulling her towards the bedroom. _

Since that night, a day didn't pass where they didn't go to sleep together whether it was at her place or his.

With one final stretch, she slipped out of bed and made her way into the kitchen where Castle was plating her breakfast.

"Good morning, beautiful." He said with a huge grin.

"Good morning. What's got you so happy?" she asked as she sat down, taking a sip of the coffee he placed in front of her.

"You're moving in today." Castle said, his grin growing wider.

"About that, I don't think I'm ready. Can we wait?" Kate asked, keeping her face straight as the smile dropped off Castle's face.

"Oh, uh, yeah, if that's what you want, I'll just go cancel the moving truck." Castle said, failing miserably to hide his disappointment as he turned to go make a phone call, stopping when he saw the smirk on her face.

"You're so easy." She said as she dug into her breakfast.

"That was cruel." He said as he placed a kiss on her temple. "I've got to get the moving truck, Alexis should be down in about ten minutes and then she will go with you to your apartment to start packing, I'll meet you there. Do you know when the gang is supposed to show up?" Castle asked.

"I told them sometime around ten." Kate said.

"Okay." Castle said as he grabbed his things, giving her one more kiss before disappearing out the door.

Sure enough, ten minutes later Alexis came bounding down the stairs and forty five minutes later they were at her apartment ready to get the day started.

"Where do you want to start?" Alexis asked.

"Um, why don't you start packing up my books since those are definitely coming with us and I'll start in the kitchen?" Kate asked.

"Sounds good. Do you want to turn on some music?" Alexis asked.

"Sure, my iPod should be on the speakers, you can turn on what you want." Kate said as she made her way into the kitchen.

For the first ten minutes, the only sounds coming from the apartment was the music and the sounds of things being pulled off of shelves, but when a song came on they both knew, it was only a matter of time before their packing was forgotten and they were dancing around the living room, each with a makeshift microphone as they belted out the lyrics to the song.

As the song was coming to end, the distinct sound of someone knocking on her door rang through the apartment.

"Do you want me to get that?" Alexis asked.

"No, it's fine. It's probably just your dad. He tends to forget he has a key." Kate said with a smirk as she pulled the door open.

Only it wasn't Castle standing on the other side, it was Josh.

"Hi." Josh said with a smile

"Kate? Is everything okay?" Alexis asked as she made her way to the door when she didn't hear Kate say anything. "Oh" she said when she saw Josh standing there.

"Who's this?" Josh asked, motioning to Alexis.

"Uh, this is Alexis, she's Castle's daughter." Kate said, noticing how Josh tensed up at the mention of Castle.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Josh." Josh said.

"I know." Alexis said, rather coolly. She never met Josh, but she heard plenty of stories from her dad.

"You do?" Josh asked. As far as he knew, they never met.

"I was shopping with Kate when you ran into her at the boutique, we walked out right after you left. Plus my dad used to talk about you all the time." Alexis said.

"All good things I hope." Josh said.

"Just mainly how you were never there for Kate when she needed you." Alexis said as Kate tried to hide her smirk. "I'm going to go finish packing, Kate."

"Packing? Are you going on vacation?" Josh asked.

"No." Kate said.

"Then why are you packing?" Josh asked.

Kate was about to answer him, tell him she was moving in with Castle, when the elevator dinged and Castle, Esposito, Lanie, Kevin, and Jenny stepped off the elevator, engrossed in a conversation.

Castle was completely oblivious to the fact that Kate's ex boyfriend was standing outside their door until Esposito noticed him and nudged Castle, nodding in Josh's direction.

"Josh." Castle said as the group walked up to the door.

"Castle." Josh said with a nod.

"Josh." Lanie said, crossing her arms.

"Lanie." Josh said.

"Josh." Esposito said, cracking his knuckles in a threatening manner.

"Esposito." Josh said.

"Josh." Kevin said, trying his best to look menacing, which was difficult seeing as how he had on the tie Jenny got him for their two week anniversary.

"Kevin." Josh said.

Jenny, never having met Josh or knowing who he was looked around to figure out what she should do, but when she saw everyone giving this man death glares, she decided she would play along like she usually did.

"Josh." She said, crossing her arms like Lanie, giving him his best glare.

"Uh… I'm sorry I don't know you." Josh said sheepishly.

"Jenny." Answered everyone.

"Right, Jenny." Josh said in greeting.

"What do you want, Josh?" Kate asked.

"Uh… do you think we could talk privately?" Josh asked, glancing between Kate and her group of friends who looked like they were going to jump him.

"No." Lanie answered first.

"No." Esposito said.

"Nope." Ryan answered.

"Definitely not." Castle said.

Again, Jenny looked at the group of people standing next to her, unsure of what to do, but decided to just go along with it, this was kind of fun.

"No." she answered.

"I think Kate can answer for herself, thank you very much." Josh said, getting slightly annoyed, his anger levels rising as he turned to look at Kate.

"You heard them, the answer is no, whatever you have to say to me, you can say to them." Kate said.

Josh let out a frustrated sigh, but continued anyway.

"When you came into the hospital yesterday, I realized how much I missed you and I know we didn't part on very good terms, but I came to tell you I understand, your friend was injured and you said some things that you didn't mean, but I came here to tell you that I forgive you and I want to give us another chance." Josh said.

"I didn't say anything I didn't mean Josh, I meant it when I broke things off with us so if that's it then I think you should leave." Kate said.

"C'mon Katie." Josh said, grabbing her hand, which was a mistake. Kate immediately wrenched her hand from his grip while Castle stepped forward, stepping between Kate and Josh while Esposito and Ryan looked like they were ready to throw him out on his ass.

"Do not touch her." Castle hissed.

"This is between me and her, Castle, now please step aside." Josh said.

"No, this became between me and you when you laid your hands on her after she asked you to leave. Nobody lays a hand on Kate, I don't care who you are." Castle said.

Kate, in an attempt to control her anger and Castle's before they did something they regretted, wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and rested her head on his back, taking deep breaths to calm herself. At her touch, she could feel the tension drain out of his body as he covered her hands with his.

"I think it's time you leave." Castle said, a lot calmer this time.

Josh just stood there looking at Castle and then at Kate's hands wrapped around him. "I'm not leaving, I came here for Kate and I'm not going down without a fight."

"Josh, you see those boxes over there?" Castle asked, pointing to the boxes Ryan had propped up against the wall.

Josh just nodded, not really seeing the point.

"Those boxes are here to help Kate pack her things because she is moving, to my apartment. Now I don't know about you, but I would think you've already lost." Castle said.

"If Kate knew she still had a chance with me, she wouldn't be moving in with you, so now let Kate chose who she wants." Josh said defiantly.

Kate sighed and untangled herself from Castle's arms, stepping around him, but making sure she took hold of his hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Josh, I chose Castle, I will always chose Castle, I am in love with him and will always be in love with him. You wanting to get back together doesn't begin to change that, especially when you are convinced you didn't do anything wrong. Even if I wasn't with Castle, I wouldn't be with you now you need to leave." Kate said.

When Josh didn't move, Castle spoke up.

"Josh, I suggest you leave otherwise my friends over there," Castle said pointing to Ryan and Esposito who just waved, "will arrest you for trespassing."

"This is your last chance, Kate. Once I'm gone, I'm gone. Are you sure you want him?" Josh asked, nodding his head in Castle's direction with a disgusted look on his face.

"Positive." Kate said, looking over at Castle with a huge smile on her face as she reached up and stroked his cheek tenderly.

"Fine." Josh said as he pushed his way through the group.

When he disappeared out of sight, Castle took a deep breath before letting out a slight chuckle. "Is this week return of the ex week or something? I'm pretty sure everyone has showed up except Sorenson."

"Don't jinx it." Kate said as she turned to head back into the apartment.

Castle just chuckled.

"Okay, ladies and gentleman, let's get Kate moved, because we all know how long it took us to get here."


	70. Chapter 70

Chapter 70:

It took most of the rest of the morning to get everything packed. Most of the packing was of things getting donated since a large portion of her belongings were already at the loft, something that Lanie and the boys didn't fail to mention every five minutes.

Except for a few bags of clothes and odds and ends, the only thing that she really needed to pack was her books. She had insisted that she didn't need to bring the books he already had, but Castle was adamant that she brought them. She tried to argue, but after awhile, she just gave up and went to work packing all of her books in the remaining boxes.

Two hours later, all of the boxes were unloaded in the loft and Ryan, Esposito, and Jenny had left for the day after many thanks from Castle and Kate.

Another fifteen minutes later, and Castle had finally persuaded Kate to go out to lunch with Lanie and Alexis before they had to be at work. He assured her he was just going to start unloading her books and would leave the rest for when she got home, which she reluctantly agreed to before disappearing out the door, Lanie and Alexis on either side of her, practically dragging her out the door.

After a quick lunch of his own, Castle got to work and began pulling open boxes of books, bringing them to the bookshelves he had installed in the guest room along with a desk and couch for Kate. It was her own little study. He also had arranged for her paintings to be installed in here so that she would always have a little piece of home with her.

It was a little over an hour later when Castle opened the last box of books and let out a little chuckle when he realized all of the books were his. Pulling them out one by one, he decided that he was going to have to put these ones in the bedroom, especially when he noticed how worn they were suggesting that Kate frequently red these, maybe in the bath with wine and candles like she told him back in their second year together.

As he reached the bottom of the box, he pulled out _In a Hail of Bullets_, the first book he ever wrote. This book was more worn than the rest of them and judging by the small areas on the cover that looked like they had smoke damage, he was guessing that this was the only book that survived when her apartment blew up. He remembered Kate mentioning something about having to replace the majority of her book collection.

Sinking down onto the couch, he flipped the book over, looking at the much younger, carefree version of himself, the version of himself that's biggest worry was what girl he was going to take home that night, but he wasn't that guy anymore and it was all thanks to Kate, she made him realize what was truly important in this world and it made him love her even more.

Flipping the book back over, he flipped the book open and was surprised when he was met with a familiar handwriting, his handwriting. Running his fingers over the slightly raised lettering caused by the pen, he took in what he wrote.

_Kate, _

_Find a reason to laugh everyday, your smile lights up the room. _

_Richard Castle _

Castle knew that he never signed this book in the time he has been following her around the precinct which means he must have signed it before they met, before he knew who she was.

Castle was so caught up in his thoughts, that he didn't hear the front door open until Kate called out to him.

"Honey, I'm home!" she said with a chuckle.

Castle didn't say anything, he just stared at the front door, knowing any second Kate was going to come around the corner and see him sitting there with something she obviously didn't want him to know about.

"Castle?" she called out when he didn't answer as she came around the corner.

"I signed this." Castle said as he looked back down at the book before looking at her.

Kate didn't say anything, she just took a deep breath and walked across the room, sitting down on the couch and taking the book out of his hands, running her fingers across his writing like she's done thousands of times before.

"My mom loved your books. They were her go to books when she had free time. She would always try to get me to read them, but I never would, I was a teenager, I would always do the exact opposite of what she wanted me to do. It was maybe two weeks after my mom was murdered, my dad was passed out on the couch, drunk, after I had to drag him home from yet another bar and I was just so lost, I just wanted my mom to come in and wrap me in one of her hugs and tell me everything was going to be okay, but nothing was okay. My mom was killed, my dad was drunk, and I wasn't okay. I was in a bad place. I went into my mom's room and curled up on her side of the bed. My dad refused to sleep in their after she died so her pillow still smelled like her. I noticed this book sitting on her bedside table, a page dog eared half way through and I remembered how she was always trying to get me to read them so I picked it up and started reading. I don't think I slept that night, just read straight through the entire book and then when it was light enough for me to leave, I went to the nearest book store and got the rest of your books. They saved me Castle. I was in a place where nothing made sense, where my life was falling apart around me, but in your books the victims got justice, the killers were caught, something that I didn't get in my life, so I read. Whenever I felt like my reality was becoming too much and I was drowning I would lock myself in my room and just read. Then one day, you came to the local book store to sign books and I stood in line for hours. When I finally reached you, I could barely get my name out, but just the way you smiled at me made me feel like everything was going to be okay and then when I read what you wrote for me, I knew no matter what, as long as I had your words, I was going to be okay. You saved me." Kate said.

Castle just sat there, staring at the book in her hands, eye brows furrowed together.

"I can't remember." He finally said, a little bit of anger laced in his voice as he got up and started pacing.

"Castle, I don't expect you to remember. It was a long time ago, and I was just another face in the crowd." Kate said.

"But you weren't. You obviously caught my attention because what I wrote in that book wasn't one of my pre determined phrases I would sign and I can't remember. God Kate, I love your smile. When you smile, I feel like the entire world just melts away. I should be able to remember you, you're unforgettable." Castle said.

"Hey." Kate said, standing up and standing in front of him, bringing her hand up to his cheek. "It's okay, it really is. Never once did I think you would remember me. I looked different then and honestly, I don't think I would want you to remember me then. I wasn't alright then, I was a lot worse than I was when we first met. I don't want you to remember what I was like then, I want you to remember what I am like now, what you have helped me become, the woman you love okay? Don't beat yourself up because you don't remember."

"I just wish I could remember." Castle said with a sigh of defeat.

"I know." Kate said, leaning up to kiss him, trying to convey through her lips that it really was okay that he didn't remember.

When they broke apart, Kate looked around the room in confusion only seeing her collection of Castle's books on the coffee table.

"Where's the rest of my books?" she asked.

Castle's face lit up like she just told him they were getting a puppy.

"I have a surprise for you, but you have to let me cover your eyes." Castle said as he practically bounced on the balls of his feet.

"You know I don't like surprises." Kate said even though she knew she was going to give in.

"I know, but I promise you will like this one. Please, please, please." He begged.

"Fine." Kate said, trying to sound annoyed even as her face broke into a smile at his excitement.

Castle just grinned even wider and grabbed her hand, pulling her up the stairs. Once they reached the top, he placed his hands over her eyes, leading her down the hall. She heard him open a door to what she could only guess was the guest room before she was being led through the door.

"Okay, open your eyes." Castle said, removing his hands.

Kate opened her eyes, and let out a slight gasp of surprise at what she saw.

On one wall was a series of bookshelves all covered with her books and the photo frames she had brought with her of her family and friends. In one corner there was a rather comfy looking chair with a reading light and in the other was a desk where she could work, complete with her very own smart board where she could put up cases if she needed to.

"What is this?" Kate asked, turning around to face Castle.

"I know that sometimes things get a bit overwhelming and you need your own space. Before you moved in, if something was wrong, you would run and I wouldn't know where you were and it would scare the hell out of me. This way, I know where you are, but you can still have your own space. If you are ever feeling over whelmed or feel the need to run, just come in here and shut the door. As long as the door is shut, everyone knows not to disturb you." Castle said.

"You did this all for me?" Kate asked as she turned back around to take in the room.

"For you and for me. I hate it when you run, but I understand that it's something you do. I understand that you need your own space and that one of the reasons you were a bit reluctant at first to move in was because you needed you own space, so I though I would give you your own space here." Castle said with a shrug.

"Thank you." Kate said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Thank you for moving in with me." He said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Oh please, you knew it was going to happen some day." Kate said, teasing him until she saw the look in his eyes. "You really thought I would never move in with you, that we wouldn't be here?"

"I used to, but then everything with Montgomery and everything happened and you were still with Josh and it was just hard to remain optimistic, especially when I found out that you asked Gates to kick me out of the precinct. I always knew I would be able to get our friendship back, but for awhile that's all I thought I would get." Castle said.

"I hate myself everyday for the pain I've caused you." Kate said.

"Don't hate yourself. It hurt at the time, but now, now I'm over it because your standing here in my arms after we just finished moving you in and I can do this whenever I want." Castle said as he leaned forward and captured her lips.

"Mmmm, that is one of the great perks to moving in." Kate said when they broke apart, her eyes still closed.

Castle placed to soft kisses on each eyelid and then her nose before placing one more chaste kiss on her lips.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." She whispered back.

"Yeah?" he asked, the smile evident in his voice.

"Always."


	71. Chapter 71

Chapter 71:

By the time Beckett pulled into the underground garage at the loft, now officially on vacation for a month, she was so exhausted she was pretty sure she could spend the entire month sleeping.

Monday started off normal enough, nothing but paperwork for Beckett and her team. Beckett had almost convinced herself that this was going to be how the rest of the week was going to go, each day mocking her as they dragged by when all she wanted was for it to be five o'clock on Friday, but right after she got back from her lunch break, they got a call for a body. That was the last lunch break she would get that week.

By that evening, they were no closer to figuring out who the killer was than they were when they found the body.

By Tuesday, they had another body found killed in the same manner as the first one, but as far as they could tell, there was no connection between the victims. The killer seemed to have randomly selected them, leaving behind no trail of evidence that could lead him to them.

By Wednesday, they had a third body, officially upgrading their killer to a serial killer, but to make matters worse their killer left a note with a picture. They had until noon the next day to save her or she would die just like the rest of them and the game would just continue.

By Thursday, not only did the girl the killer had taken hostage show up dead, but Gates had thoroughly chewed them out when they had to report to her that they had no leads. There was no connection between the victims, no forensic evidence left behind that could lead them to the killer, not even Lanie could help them and give them a possible murder weapon, they were literally at a dead end and that did not make Gates happy.

By Friday afternoon, they were holed up in a conference room briefing Agent Shaw and her FBI team on everything they knew up until that point. They would be taking over the case from here on out.

So yeah, the only thought going through her mind as she stepped into the elevator and made her way up to the loft was the big comfy bed waiting for her, calling her name. She was even toying with the idea of just sleeping in what she had on, that's how tired she was.

Castle on the other hand, seemed to have other plans.

As she opened the door to the loft, the first thing she noticed was that it was extremely quiet and the second thing she noticed was that it was extremely dark except for a light flickering coming from somewhere out of her line of sight.

Her first thought was that Castle and Alexis were in the middle of a game of laser tag and if that was true she was going to have to be the bad guy because she really needed to sleep, but when she went around the corner, what she saw took her breath away.

All the lights in the loft were dimmed to give the room a calm, romantic vibe, there was a fire place roaring in the fireplace with what looked like a bed made up of pillows, cushions and blankets set up in front of it, but what truly took her breath away was the fact that Castle had sprinkled rose petals across the floor leading towards the bedroom with two lines of candles on either side of the roses, forming a make shift path, obviously to lead her to where he wanted her to go.

Slipping out of her shoes and tossing her coat over a nearby chair, Kate followed the path with a small smile on her face, leading her to the bedroom where Castle was sitting on the bed with his laptop, probably writing.

When he saw her walk in, he looked up with a huge smile, closed his laptop and made his way over to her.

"Hi." He said as he stepped in front of her, leaning down to press a tender kiss to her lips.

"What is all this?" Kate asked as they broke apart.

Castle's face broke into a gentle grin. "I know that you have had a rough week so I wanted to do something to help you relax and unwind. I've got a nice, warm, relaxing bubble bath drawn for you, wine included, company optional." Castle said, wiggling his eyebrows. "After you are done, I've got Alexis dropping off Remy's on her way to Paige's house for us to curl up in front of a movie with and then afterwards I thought I would give you a nice massage in front of the fire."

"You did all this for me?" Kate asked, slightly breathless.

"Don't sound so surprised." Castle said with a chuckle, "I love you, Kate and that means that I am going to do whatever I need to do to make you happy. If that means giving you your own little room to run away to or having a nice, romantic night planned for when you come home after a long week at work, I would do it every night."

"I don't even know what to say or how to repay you." Kate mumbled.

"Hey." Castle said, placing a finger under her chin to make her look at him. "You don't have to repay me for this. I didn't do it to get something in return, I did it because I wanted to and that's it. Plus, the fact that I get to have such an extraordinary woman come home to me every night is enough repayment to last me a life time." Castle said, placing a light kiss on the tip of her nose.

"I love you." Kate said.

"I love you too." Castle said with a smile, knowing she had accepted what he said.

Kate leaned up, bringing Castle's lips to hers before breaking apart and taking a step around him.

"So, company optional, huh?" Kate said as she began to strip out of clothes, giving Castle a come-hither look, shucking her shirt and bra right as she stepped into the bathroom.

Castle didn't have to be asked twice, he quickly shed himself of his clothes on his way to the bathroom, almost tripping as his pants got caught around his ankles which Kate found hilarious as she broke into a fit of laughter as he freed himself and slipped into the tub behind Kate, pulling her back so she was resting against his chest.

"Nice to know my misfortune is so funny to you." Castle said, even as he smiled because let's face it, how do you not smile when Kate laughs.

This only makes Kate laugh harder, but her laughter quickly turns into a moan as Castle wraps his arms around her midsection as he leans down and sucks on the spot right behind her ear that gets her every time.

Satisfied that she wasn't going to be laughing at him anymore, he peppered a few kisses against her temple and cheek before pulling her more fully against him as she rested her head on his chest, eyes closed with a sigh of contentment.

"You're a good man, Richard Castle. A really good man." Kate said.

"Only the best for you, my love." Castle said as he reached over the edge of the tub for their classes of wine, handing her one before taking the other.

"You're going to smell like cherries." Kate said with a chuckle as she realized Castle used her cherry bath wash.

"That was my plan." Castle said with a smile.

"You want to smell like cherries?" Kate asked, raising her eyebrow as she tilted her head to look at him.

"No, I want to smell like you." Castle said.

"Hmm." Kate said.

"I remember the first time I realized that you smelled like cherries. You leaned over me and I was just enveloped with the smell, it felt like my entire brain just went blank and it took all the control I had not to kiss you right then and there." Castle said.

"I probably would have kissed you if Ryan and Esposito hadn't walked in and ruined the moment." Kate said.

"I know." Castle said.

"A little sure of yourself their, are you?" Kate asked.

"Please, everyone knows that you totally wanted me from the moment you dragged me into your interrogation room. I bet you had many fantasies about spanking me after that interview." Castle said smugly.

"Don't flatter yourself. The only thing I remember thinking was that you were nothing like the man I imagined you to be." Kate chuckled.

"That might be true, but that doesn't change the fact that you were tempted to accept my offer to grab dinner and debrief each other, don't think I forgot the way you bit that bottom lip of yours all sexily because you were seriously considering it." Castle said.

"Okay, so maybe I wanted to get you in bed, but it was nothing more than that. Besides, you weren't much better, after all, you were the one that told me I could spank you. You were looking for a quick romp in the sheets just as much as I was." Kate said, lightly elbowing him in the ribs.

"Maybe for only that first case." Castle said.

"Oh really? You're telling me that after that first case you didn't want to sleep with me still?" Kate asked.

"I never said that. I've always wanted to sleep with you, but after that nanny case, I realized that I wanted a lot more from you than just a quick romp." Castle said.

"So you realized you wanted to be with me on our second case together?" Kate asked skeptically.

"No. I think I first started having feelings for you after you told me about your mom and dad, not because I had some sick interest in people with a tragic past, but because that's when I started to realize how extraordinary you really were. How about you? When did you realize that you had feelings for me?" Castle asked.

"When you told me that you got the deal for a certain British spy and you might be done with Nikki Heat. As much as I hated the ribbing I got for the book and the fact that you were basing a character off of me, the only thing I could think when you told me was that I didn't want you to go, I wasn't done seeing where things between us could go." Kate said.

"You know, had you asked me to stay, I would have, no questions asked." Castle said.

"I know, but I was stubborn back then." Kate said.

"Back then?" Castle asked with a smirk.

"Shut up." Kate said, smacking him in the chest.

Castle just chuckled.

"When did you first realize you were totally and madly in love with me?" Castle asked.

"I think when I was going to tell you that I wanted to go to the Hamptons with you, I had started to feel that I could possibly be in love with you, but I don't think I fully realized that you had worked your way so deep into my heart that I'd never get you out until we had our undercover kiss, I never experienced anything that intense before and I just remember laying awake that night playing it over and over in my head until I eventually realized it was no use because I was so completely in love with you." Kate said. "What about you?"

"When I saw you kiss Demming. I just remember when I walked down the hall, I saw you and I couldn't help the smile that broke out on my face at the sight of you, but then Demming followed you out of the room and you kissed him and I felt physically sick, I felt like someone had just punched me in the gut. It felt a lot like it did when I thought that Josh was proposing to you." Castle said.

"Remember when Natalie Rhodes came to the precinct to do research?" Kate asked.

Castle just nodded.

"I felt like that every day she came into the precinct. The more and more she looked like me, the more and more enamored you became with her and then I was going to leave and I saw her kiss you and I don't think my stomach ever dropped so fast." Kate said.

"I pushed her off of me right after the doors closed. I should have done it sooner, but I was literally frozen with surprise, but I think that was the beginning of me realizing that my heart would always belong to you. I think at first I was interested in her because she reminded me of you and I couldn't have you so I thought why not have the next best thing, but when she kissed me it just felt wrong. It would always feel wrong because while she might look and act like you, she wasn't you." Castle said.

"We were quite the pair." Kate said.

"That we were." Castle said as he leaned down and placed a string of kisses along her neck and shoulder, causing her to let out a soft moan.

It always amazed Castle how quickly the mood could change with Kate. One second she could be laughing and happy and the next she was ready to pounce.

Kate arched her head to the side, opening up her neck to him, obviously hinting at where she wanted his mouth, so he worked his way back across her shoulder and to her neck where he back to lightly bite and suck on her neck, soothing it with his tongue afterwards.

"You're lucky I'm on vacation, because I'm pretty sure you just gave me a hickey." Kate said.

Castle just hummed in response against her skin which sent a shiver down her spine as another soft moan escaped.

Turning Kate's head so it was facing him, he captured her lips with his as he snacked his hands up her toned stomach, cupping each of her breasts in his hands as he began to massage and knead them, lightly brushing his thumbs over her nipples as his tongue explored her mouth, tracing patterns on the roof of her mouth.

When Castle felt Kate roll her hips against the bottom of the tub, trying to get friction against her center, he released one of her breasts, leaving a trail of fire across her skin as his hand skimmed down her body, as he brought it down to her throbbing clit where he brushed against it, once, twice, three times, sending a bolt of electricity through her body with each touch.

"Castle…" Kate moaned breathlessly.

"Shhhh, just relax." Castle said as he slipped two fingers inside of her, his palm now flat against her clit, offering the perfect amount of alternating pressure as he moved his fingers in and out of her, expertly working her in ways only he knows how.

"Castle… I need more… so close." Kate moaned as his palm pressed more firmly against her clit.

Inserting a third finger into her without breaking the rhythm of his fingers inside her, Castle used his hand to work both of her breasts as he sucked on the pulse point on her neck.

Kate could feel the tension coiling in her abdomen, teetering right on the edge of her release.

"Come on, come for me baby." Castle whispered in her ear.

The sound of his voice along with the feeling of his breath skating across her skin was enough to push her over the edge as her she threw her head back against Castle's chest as her orgasm washed over her.

Castle would usually slow his thrusts down as he worked her down from her high, but this time he only picked up his speed as her orgasm washed over her and instead of the tension uncoiling as her tremors subsided, she only found herself being thrown back over the edge as a second orgasm followed the first.

"Wow." Kate mumbled, her eyes still closed as she went totally slack against Castle. "If that's what I get after a hard day at work, I'm going to have to tell you every day is hard."

Castle chuckled. "You don't need to have a hard day, I will gladly do that any day, any time."

"Hmm, what about you, though. I'll have to give you the same treatment." Kate mumbled.

"Oh believe me, watching you fall apart in my arms like that definitely gives me the same treatment." Castle said. "Now what do you say we take this party elsewhere."

"You read my mind, Mr. Castle, you read my mind."


	72. Chapter 72

Chapter 72:

While Kate worked on fixing her hair so it wouldn't be in knots the next morning, Castle slipped into the living room after pulling on a pair of sweats to pull out some plates for dinner and get the movie ready.

He had just put the DVD for Temptation Lane season 1 in the DVD player when there was a knock on the door.

Assuming that it was just Alexis, who probably couldn't open the door because her hands were full with the dinner he asked her to pick up, he was surprised when he instead opened the door to find Lanie.

"Hey Lanie? Did you and Kate have a ladies night planned?" Castle asked, trying to remember if Kate had mentioned something about her having plans. He really should have thought to ask ahead of time. If they did have plans, Kate was going to feel guilty because either way she was going to have to cancel her plans with one of them.

"Relax writer boy, we didn't have plans. Alexis has been going on and on all day about your big romantic plans and how great the loft looks and I knew that I had to come and see it for myself so I offered to drop of your dinner on my way home since she had plans to go to her friends." Lanie explained.

"Well please come in. Kate's in the bedroom getting dressed, she should be coming out soon." Castle said as he took the dinner from her, stepping aside so she could come in.

"Getting dressed, huh? Sounds like you guys already started your evening." Lanie said with a smirk.

"No. She was just taking a nice, relaxing bath." Castle defended.

"With you?" Lanie asked, eyebrow raised.

"Maybe." Castle said sheepishly.

"That's what I thought." Lanie said as she made her way into the living room while Castle went to stick the food in the oven to keep it warm.

"So what do you think?" Castle asked as he came into the living room, a small glass of wine in hand for Lanie.

"I think you need to give Javi some lessons on how to romance a woman." Lanie said as she sat down on the couch.

"I think I can throw a few pointers his way." Castle said with a chuckle.

As Lanie took a sip of her wine, Castle noticed her studying him over the rim of her glass.

"What?" Castle asked, thinking he said something wrong.

"Are you planning on doing what I think you are planning on doing tonight?" Lanie asked, suspiciously.

"What do you mean? I just wanted Kate to have a relaxing evening after long day. God knows how long I have waited to be the one who got to be there for her after weeks like these." Castle said.

"So you aren't going to propose to her tonight." Lanie asked.

"No, not yet." Castle said.

"Okay… wait, not yet?" Lanie asked.

Castle just smiled, a little twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh my god! Do you have it yet?" Lanie asked in a whisper so Kate couldn't hear them.

"Not yet, I have to go pick it up in a couple of days." Castle said with a huge grin.

"Have to go pick what up?" Kate asked as she came out of the office.

"Tickets for Javier and Lanie for a show I promised them." Castle lied, smoothly.

"That's sweet of you." Kate said with a huge grin as she walked over and gave him a kiss, sinking onto the other side of him, legs stretched out over his legs like she had been doing it for years. "What are you doing here, Lanie?"

"Can't I stop by to visit?" Lanie asked, defensively.

Kate just gave her 'the look'.

"I may have heard about writer boy's plans for the night and decided I wanted to see his little setup for myself, but I didn't realize that your evening would have already started." Lanie said with a smirk as she stood up to leave.

"You could have asked for pictures you know." Kate said.

"Would you have actually gotten them for me?" Lanie asked with a knowing look.

"Probably not." Kate said with a shrug.

"Exactly. Now if you will excuse me, I have plans of my own tonight. Enjoy your evening." Lanie said with a wink as she made her way to the door and disappeared with one more smirk at the couple on the couch who seemed to already be in their own little world.

"Why does Lanie look she knows a dirty little secret and she can't wait to spill?" Kate asked.

"Probably because she is Lanie and knows every thing that goes on with everyone." Castle said.

"You've got a point. Now where's my dinner. I'm starving." Kate said.

"Whoa, I do one little nice thing for you and now you are demanding things." Castle said with a smirk as he stood up, knowing he would get anything for her no matter what she demanded.

"Please. You love it." Kate said as she stretched out on her stomach, watching Castle as he went into the kitchen to get their food.

"Correction, I love you." Castle said as he came back with a bag of burgers and fries from Remy's and what she could only assume as strawberry milkshakes, a must have in Kate's opinion, an opinion that Castle quickly adopted when he realized that strawberry milkshakes made her smile, and let's face it, he would do anything to make her smile.

"I love you too, but only because you bring me coffee and food." Kate said in a teasing tone.

"Hmm, well maybe I will just have to purchase a Remy's and coffee shop." Castle said as he handed her the burger and fries he got for her.

"I think that would backfire on your part. I would just wait until you finalized the purchase and then I would divorce you and take the shops for myself." Kate said.

"Well thank goodness you told me your plans, now I know how to keep you here forever." Castle said as he turned on the news for some background noise.

"I don't think you have to try very hard, I kind of like it here." Kate said with a gentle smile.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out when you somehow ended up back here every night." Castle said.

"I didn't hear you complaining." Kate said, leveling him with a glare.

"Oh believe me, I had absolutely no problem with the fact that you wanted to sleep in my bed every night, especially when the last thing you wanted to do was sleep." Castle said with a wink as he stood up to throw away the remnants of his dinner, grabbing Kate's on the way so she wouldn't have to get up.

As he reached up to grab to glasses for the wine he had chilling in the fridge, he felt two pairs of hands snake around him, rubbing up and down his chest as Kate buried her face into his back.

"We won't be needing those." She mumbled as her hands got lower and lower every time she worked her hands down his chest before working their way back up.

"Oh really?" Castle asked, glad his voice was a lot stronger than he thought it would be.

"Definitely not. I have other plans for you." Kate said, seduction dripping from her voice.

Setting down the glasses on the counter, he turned around and his breath immediately caught in his throat.

Kate was no longer wearing the boxer shorts that she had on earlier and instead he was left with the view of her long, sexy legs going on for miles, disappearing underneath the shirt that came to rest right under the swell on her delicious behind.

The shirt that she had previously had pretty much buttoned all the way up had now been unbuttoned and slightly parted, giving him a very slight peak at her breasts and he had to fight with everything he had not to rip the shirt off of her and take her breasts in his hand.

Making eye contact with Kate, she had a very amused smirk on her face, but her eyes were dark with arousal and he was pretty sure she knew exactly what he was thinking about doing, and if he had to guess, she wasn't completely opposed to the idea.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." Kate said, a hint of amusement in her voice even though it was mostly breathless. She could never get used to the way he looked at her, especially when he was looking at her like **that.**

"I don't know, I may have to make it a rule that when we are home alone, this is the permanent dress code." Castle said as his eyes continued to rake over her body, causing her to visibly shudder, a cocky smile appearing on his face knowing that he affected her the same way she affected him.

"Too bad, I was going to suggest a no clothes allowed dress code." Kate said with a smirk as she turned around and began to walk, no saunter, back into the living room.

She was half way there when Castle's arms suddenly wrapped around her waist, picking her up as he spun them in a circle.

Much to Castle's delight, Kate couldn't help but let out an uninhibited laugh as they came to rest in front of the temporary bed.

"I love it when you do that." Castle said with a huge smile on his face.

"Do what?" Kate asked, unable to keep the smile off her face at the look on Castle's face.

"Laugh." Castle said like it was obvious.

"Really? I'm standing here wearing nothing but your shirt which is barely covering me as it is and I tell you that I want to basically walk around naked and you are talking about my laugh?" Kate asked.

"When you laugh, your entire face lights up with the most genuine smile I have ever seen on anyone and it is absolutely breathtaking. Knowing that it's usually me who puts that smile there makes it even better because I can't even begin to tell you how many times I wish I could just take all your pain away and make you smile like that." Castle said, leaving Kate breathless at the sincerity in his voice.

"This smile is only for you." Kate said, reaching up to tenderly cup his jaw, leaning forward to give him a very consuming kiss.

When she pulled back, Castle was just standing their frozen, eyes still closed, lips still puckered.

"I keep waiting for it to get easier to kiss you, for it not to take my breath away every time, but I think I'm starting to realize that it's never going to happen." Castle said as he opened his eyes, not giving her any time to respond before he covered his mouth with hers, easing her back on the bed so he was hovering over her.

Neither of them knew what it was, whether it was the whole idea that tonight was supposed to be relaxing, or maybe the heat of the fire warming their already flushed skin, but they both knew that tonight, it wasn't going to be fast and furious nor was it going to be romantic and gentle. Tonight it was going to be slow and torturous, it was going to build up the fire coursing through their veins so much that the release they both knew was coming was going to be something that they never experienced before.

Tonight was going to be explosive.

* * *

**A/N: **Don't worry, you are going to get all the smut that comes with this little scene. I started to write it, but then figured out quickly that I needed to split it up otherwise this was going to be way too long. So enjoy this chapter and I am going to get working on the next.

Enjoy and follow me on twitter:) jessmuir0407


	73. Chapter 73

Chapter 73:

Hovering over Kate, the reflection of the fire flickering in her dark, aroused eyes, Castle was pretty sure that he had died and gone to heaven because he had never seen anything so breathtakingly beautiful. The only term that came to mind was a goddess and she was his goddess. As he leans in to capture her mouth in a gently, lazy kiss that make his lips burn, he is pretty sure if he isn't already dead, he is going to be soon, but he can't find it in him to care because if he has to die, he couldn't think of a better way to go.

When the lack of oxygen they were taking in became apparent, they both broke apart, gasping for air as Castle rolled off to the side of Kate, propping himself up on one elbow before snaking a hand around her waist, pulling her flush against him as their legs tangled together.

As Castle leaned down to capture her lips once more, his hand dipped under the hem of her shirt, trailing his fingertips up and down her side, stopping right before the swell of her breasts before working his way back down her side in a feather light touch that was absolutely driving her crazy.

Unable to keep her hands off of him any longer, she brought her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair, shifting slightly so that not only was his body now pressed slightly on top of her, but also cause Castle to gasp in surprise which allowed Kate to slip her tongue inside of his mouth.

The second their tongues met, neither of them could suppress the deep, guttural moans that escaped from the back of their throats as the combination of the heat burning in their veins along with the heat licking at their skin from the burning fire in the fireplace created entirely new sensations neither of them at ever felt before.

Breaking the kiss, Castle worked his way across Kate's jaw and the spot right behind her ear that he knew drove her crazy. Nipping lightly when he reached the spot, he chuckled at the way Kate's hands tightened in his hair as the pleasure coursed through her body.

He was driving her into a frenzy. Her entire body was buzzing with pleasure, threatening to overwhelm her as she's pushed closer and closer to the edge at a tortuously slow pace. The way he expertly nipped at her neck before soothing it with his tongue was sending bolts of electricity through her veins, mixing with the already slow burn of heat caused by her intense arousal.

Then there was the way he had positioned himself between her legs in a manner that should have been illegal. His arousal was so close to her center, as close as he could possible get without actually touching her and her hips desperately wanted to move just an inch, seeking the friction she so desperately needed, but couldn't find due to the large hand Castle had splayed across her stomach, holding her in place, not allowing her the release she needed.

How Castle knew what to do to her was beyond her, but boy were they _exhilarating_.

Castle wanted to continue his exploration on Kate's neck, wanting to find every single way he could make her moan and gasp, find every spot that made her eyes roll back into her head and her hips buck, seeking friction, but he had to speed this up a little bit before he embarrassed himself like a young teenage boy during his first time as his erection throbbed painfully against the front of his pants, seeking a release.

With a trail of wet, open mouthed kisses, Castle made his way down Kate's neck to her collarbone, biting and sucking at the juncture where her shoulder met her neck, making sure he left a mark that let everyone know she was his before kissing his way back to her jaw, to her mouth and down the other side of her neck, doing the same thing to the other side of her so she had matching hickeys. He knew she would probably kill him later, but the sounds coming out of her mouth as he sucked and nipped at her skin, made it incredibly difficult to care.

Shifting back slightly so he was leaning back on his knees, he took in the sight before him. The way little beads of sweat were beginning to form on Kate's forehead, the way Kate's lips were deliciously swollen and pink, the way her eyes were overflowing with arousal as she took small, shallow breaths through her slightly parted lips, it was almost too much. He was starting to think that this whole going slow thing wasn't the best idea he ever had because he just wanted to rid her of the rest of her clothes and take her right then and there, but he wouldn't because what they were building towards was going to be so much better than quick and sloppy, as torturous as this was, it was so going to be worth it when they were done, so he continued.

Without breaking eye contact, he slowly brought his hands down to his dress shirt that was still clinging to her flushed skin, where he began to unbutton the reminder of the buttons at an antagonizingly slow pace, making sure with every button he lightly brushed the tips of his fingers across her skin, loving the way it sent a noticeable shiver down her spine each and every time.

When he finally unbuttoned the last button, he parted the shirt slightly so that Kate's breasts were still covered, but there was nothing but exposed skin between them.

Leaning forward, he captured his lips in a kiss that left both of them breathless, but it didn't throw Castle off from his path. Kissing his way down her jaw, he made his way to her neck and then to the spot where the crevice between her breasts began. Placing a wet, opened mouth kiss to her skin, he let the tip of his tongue remain in constant contact with her skin as he trailed a series of kisses between her breasts, causing Kate's eyes to immediately roll back into her head as her eyes slipped shut.

Pulling her arms out of the sleeves of her shirt, he pulled it out from under her and tossed it onto the couch, leaving her in nothing but a pair of black, lacy boy shorts.

Watching her reaction, Castle took both of his hands, lightly tracing a circle around her the edges of her breasts before swiping his thumb lightly over her nipples, causing her back to arch towards his touch.

With a smirk, Castle leaned forward and swirled his tongue around her taut nipple before closing his mouth around it as his tongue flicked over her nipple again and again, causing a string of 'yes's' and 'fucks' to come out of Kate's mouth as she finally had some sort of stimulation even if it wasn't where she wanted it most.

When he was sure that he worked her even closer to the edge, he released her breast with a pop, ignoring her whimpers of protests as he kissed her way across to the other breast, driving her right back to the edge before once again releasing her breast, ignoring her protests for more.

Scooting back so he was kneeling on the floor right off the edge of the bed, he reached up, taking one breast in each hand, running his thumbs lightly over her nipples once more before running his hands down her sides to the waistline of her panties, grabbing them and pulling them off, leaving her stark naked in front of him, legs spread wide giving him a wonderful view of exactly how wet she was, making his erection throb painfully in the confines of his pants.

Standing up, he grabbed the waistline of his pants and pulled them down, stepping out of them. Standing in front of Kate, his cock twitched as he watched Kate's eyes grow wide at the sight of how hard he was and unconsciously licking her lips.

He was pretty sure that if he hadn't been so good at self control when it comes to Kate, he would have had exploded right then and there.

Instead, he knelt back down at the end of her bed, picking up one of her legs. Starting at her ankle, he slowly trailed a fiery path of kisses along the inside of her leg, past her knee, and up the inside of her thigh. The closer he got, the stronger her scent was and it took everything he could not to latch on to her clit, but he stayed strong and instead of moving to where she wanted him judging by her whimpers, he continued his path upwards to where her thigh met her hips, kissing across her stomach and then down her other leg the same way he worked his way up the other, before finally positioning his head in between her legs.

She was pretty sure that the way his breath skirted across her center was going to make her shatter right then and there, let alone when he actually touched her.

Bringing her hands up to her breasts, she began to gently squeeze and twirk her nipples, bringing her so closes to the edge that Castle's tongue barely swiping across her clit caused her to fall over the edge.

Kate thought that the release would release the tension that was coiling in her stomach, but it didn't, it only increased it, she needed more.

Castle waited for Kate to come back from her high before he continued, determined to push her close to the edge again and again before finally bringing her over the edge.

When the shockwaves subsided, Castle took two fingers and dragged them through her dripping wet arousal, causing her to buck her hips, trying to increases the pressure he had against her clit, but as fast as his fingers were there, they were gone again.

With a mischievous glint in his eye, Castle took one of his fingers and lightly placed it right at her entrance, pushing the tip of his finger into her slightly, making her think he was going to give her what she wanted, but the second her hips bucked, he pulled back out and then proceeded to draw barely there circles around her entrance until Kate's head was thrashing side to side in pure torture.

Deciding that he had teased her enough (for now) he pushed his finger into her, almost falling apart at the moan that escaped from between her perfect lips as she arched her back and clenched around him. When she relaxed around him and her back was again flat against the bed, he inserted a second finger, quickly turning it, curling his fingers slightly which caused an even louder moan to escape from her lips as her back arched into him, as she began to pulsate around his fingers, once again shattering around him, but just like before, she needed more. With each orgasm that washed over her, the fire burning in her blood lessened slightly, but it only took the slightest touch before it was raging at full force once again.

The second that Kate came down from her orgasm, Castle began to move his fingers in and out of her very slowly before leaning down and latching onto her clit, alternating between sucking and flicking his tongue over her swollen clit, slowly driving her closer and closer to the edge. The second that she began to pulsate around his fingers, signaling an orgasm, he removed his mouth from hers and removed his fingers from inside her to keep her from falling over the edge.

Waiting to make sure that she wasn't going to fall over the edge, he once again inserted his fingers into her entrance and latched on to her clit, working her right back into the frenzy before once again pulling away right before she fell over the edge.

Kate wanted to beg, she wanted to tell him that she needed him to push her over the edge, that she needed the release, but words wouldn't form, the only thing she could do was moan and whimper and thrash her head from side to side which meant that Castle could continue this sweet torture on her body.

The next time Castle latched onto her, he thrust three fingers into her heat as he once again pushed her to the edge, but this time he didn't pull away when he felt her start to pulsate around his fingers, but continued right through her orgasm, slowly working her down from her high before easing his fingers out of her.

Kissing his way up her body, he leaned over her and captured her lips with his as his erection pressed into her stomach.

"Castle… please…" Kate finally begged, needing a release right now before she blacked out from the arousal coursing through her.

Positioning his throbbing erection at her entrance, he pressed the tip of his cock into her entrance, teasing her once again.

When she was about to complain and beg him for more, he pushed the entire length of him into her, effectively cutting of any protests she had as she clenched around him, her back arching in pleasure at the feeling of having him inside of her.

When Castle felt her walls relax, he pulled himself almost fully out of her before thrusting back into her, her hips meeting his as they started a rhythm that caused them both to close their eyes at the sensation.

When Kate brought her legs up to wrap around him, causing him to thrust into her at an entirely new angle, Kate clenched around him as her back arched and she let out a moan and Castle couldn't take it anymore.

Grabbing her legs, he placed his hands right underneath he knees, pushing them up so they were bent and supported by his arms as he began to thrust into her as fast as he could, their moans and whimpers shattering the silence that had surrounded them.

Speeding up his thrusts as fast as he could, he could feel her walls start to pulsate around him and with a couple more thrusts, Kate clenched around him as her eyes went wide, back arching in a silent scream of pleasure as she shattered around him. With one more deep thrust, Castle followed her over the edge, the pulsations of his release only serving to prolong Kate's orgasm which in turn prolonged Castle's.

When they finally came down from their high, Castle barely managed to pull himself out of her before collapsing next to her as they both laid their frozen, trying to catch their breath.

There was one thing that they were both sure of.

Explosive doesn't even begin to describe what they just experienced.

* * *

**A/N: ***WHEW!* In the words of the great Lanie Parish, this chapter had me reaching for ice water! HOT HOT HOT!

I hope you enjoyed and please review!

P.S. Seeing as they have basically christened every service of the loft with their M-rated activities, I need some exciting, new places where they can have some fun, so if you have any ideas please let me know;)


	74. Chapter 74

Chapter 74:

When Castle finally began to stir a couple of hours later, the first thing he noticed was that Kate was lightly running her fingers through his hair.

Castle had woken up to this enough in the past few months to know that the only time this happened was when something was bothering her. The first couple of times he woke up to it, he thought she was just trying to show him that she really was in this, that she was trying to show him through affection that she loved him even if it didn't always seem like it, even if she did have the little voice in her head that would occasionally tell her to run, but eventually, he began to notice that whenever he woke up to the wonderful sensation of her fingers raking through his hair, she would have this look on her face, the look that she got when something was bothering her and that was when he realized that this was her way of asking her for help, her way of letting him know that there was something on her mind and she needed to talk about it, but she needed him to push her, needed him to bring it up.

He could remember the relief on her face when she noticed that he finally got it, when he finally asked her what was wrong with a knowing look in his eyes. Ever since then that was how she would ask for help. If they were in a public place like the precinct, she would brush her fingers through his hair when she walked past him or when they were home in front of his family, she would rest her hand on his neck and lightly scratch at the shorter hair on the nape of his neck.

Alexis, being the observant child she always is, eventually realized what the action meant. They were all watching a movie together one night after a particularly difficult case. Kate was curled up in the corner of the couch, Castle was stretched out across the length of the couch, his head in her lap, and Alexis was curled up on the chair. About half way through the movie, Kate fell asleep for a short time and had a dream that got to her. When she woke up, Castle was asleep, so she just focused on running her fingers through his hair knowing that it would eventually rouse him from his sleep and he would know something was wrong. Alexis noticed Kate out of the corner of her eyes and knew from watching Kate and her dad disappear into the office whenever Kate did this, only to return with Kate looking like she had been crying, that this meant something was bothering Kate.

Later that night, Kate had explained to Castle what had happened, how Alexis asked her what was wrong and when Kate said nothing, Alexis had called her out on it, telling her that she knew that when something was bothering her she suddenly became fascinated with her dad's hair. Knowing she was caught, Kate had told her about the dream and by the end of their talk, Kate felt a lot better. Eventually, Kate developed her own little signal with everyone so that no matter where she was or who was around, she could ask for help without actually asking for help.

For Alexis, Kate would ask her about school and after Alexis told Kate about her day, she would ask Kate how her day was and then she could unload whatever was bothering her.

It was similar for Martha. Kate would ask her how her studio was going and just like Alexis, Martha would jump right in and tell her about all the crazy antics that had happened since the last time she asked and then Martha would ask Kate about work and her life, once again letting Kate unload whatever was wrong.

For Lanie, Kate would simply show up at the morgue, which was initially a problem, seeing as how it was part of Kate's job to go get updates on their case, so then Kate started sitting on one of the empty slabs when she needed to talk.

For Esposito and Ryan, she would ask them if they wanted coffee. The first time she asked, she knew they would be surprised and not understand, but knowing that they would ask Castle what he did to put her in a good mood, she knew that he would explain what it meant and sure enough, the next time she asked if they wanted coffee, they understood that she was really asking for help.

She had apparently even developed a tell with Gates without realizing it. She was at the precinct one day in the middle of a case that reminded her a lot of her mom. Lanie had the day off, Esposito and Ryan were out running down leads, and Castle had a meeting at Black Pawn. Apparently, Gates noticed that Beckett spent more time looking at Castle's chair than actually working so when Esposito and Ryan got back, she called them into their office and asked if something had happened between the two of them, explaining to them how she kept looking at his chair. Ryan had explained to the Captain how Beckett had trouble verbally asking for help, so she had tells that something was bothering her. He was guessing that she was lost at what to do since no one was around because the moment they had walked back into the precinct, she had asked if they wanted coffee, which was how she let them know that she needed to talk. After that, whenever Gates saw that no one was around and Beckett was distracted by Castle's chair, she would call Beckett into her office and ask her what was wrong.

It was her own little support system that was perfectly tailored to Kate's personality.

Slowly opening his eyes, he blinked a few times and rubbed the remnants of sleep out of his eyes before propping himself on his elbow, facing Kate.

"Hey." He said quietly, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Hey yourself." She replied with a gentle smile.

That's a good sign, it means that whatever bothering her isn't too serious.

"What time is it?" he asked around a yawn.

"A little after one." Kate said as she reached down and intertwined their fingers.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" he asked, knowing she was going to need some pushing.

Kate thought for a minute and then shook her head, not even entirely sure what was bothering her.

"Okay." Castle said, leaning forward to place a tender kiss on her forehead. "Why don't you get dressed and head into the bedroom and I'll clean things up out here and then we can talk?"

Kate nodded, as Castle got up, taking her hand to help her up, bringing his lips to hers in a sweet, gentle kiss before breaking away, allowing Kate to slip past him into the bedroom before getting to work cleaning up the living room.

Ten minutes later, Castle had finally managed to fold the last of the blankets and put in the hall closest before flipping off the lights and making his way into the bedroom.

Kate was already snuggled underneath the covers and he thought that she might have fallen back to sleep, but when he climbed into bed, getting comfortable so that he was facing her, he turned to see her watching him.

"I thought you were asleep." Castle said as he reached across the space in between them to take her hand in his.

"Nope, it's just cold in here, the fire sucked the heat out of the rest of the house." Kate said as she began to draw small circles on the palm of his hand with her thumb.

Castle could tell by the fact that she was refusing to make eye contact with him, that she was ready to talk so instead on answering he just stayed quiet, knowing that if he let this conversation continue she would eventually use it as a way to distract herself from what is bothering her and then things would never get solved, so he just waited her out, knowing she would start talking when she was ready.

Sure enough, about five minutes later, she took a deep breath and exhaled, ready to get this conversation over with.

"Christmas is in two weeks." Kate finally said.

"It is." Castle said, not wanting to ask any questions that will get her off track.

"I haven't celebrated Christmas since my mom died. Usually my dad goes up to the cabin alone and I work." Kate elaborated.

"Oh. You're working on Christmas aren't you?" Castle asked, trying not to let his disappointment show, but he obviously failed miserably because Kate's eyes snapped to his, wide in panic.

"No! I'm not working on Christmas. I told you that I'm going to spend it with you and Alexis and Martha if she shows up, and I meant that, I want to celebrate with you, it's the first time in a long time since I wanted to actually celebrate Christmas." Kate assured him.

Castle's face relaxed back into his gentle smile before scrunching up in confusion. "Okay, I think I'm missing something here, I don't think I understand what the problem is."

Kate's eyes broke away from his again, intently staring at their intertwined hands.

"My mom loved Christmas. It was her favorite time of the year and I'm pretty sure if she had it her way, every day would be Christmas. Every year without fail, we had a routine. The first weekend of December, my mom would have my dad pull out all of the Christmas decorations from the attic and we would spend the day decorating the house, dancing around to the Christmas music that floated through the house, laughing at my dad when he would always eventually get tangled in the lights. The next day, we would go to morning mass and then go out and get a Christmas tree. It was a huge production for me and my mom. We had to make sure the tree was perfect and we would spend hours running up and down the aisles until we found the perfect tree. My dad never really participated in the tree picking, but he always came along, a huge smile on his face at the pure joy that was radiating off of me and my mom. Once we found the right tree, we would take it home, light a fire, turn on the music, and spent the rest of the day decorating the tree. When we were done, we would all curl up on the couch in front of the tree with a cup of hot chocolate and just took it all in." Kate said, a small smile on her face as she remembered the memory.

Castle's imagination had no problem drawing up the scene Kate had just described. A little Kate Beckett, curled up in between her mom and dad with a little foam mustache on her upper lip from her drink, eyes twinkling with pure joy and innocence, back before it was all taken away from her, before that innocence was shattered far too soon. He wishes he could have known her back then. He knew from what Jim told him, that he had brought back the old Katie, but he knew that the old Katie would never truly come back because a large part of who 'old Katie' was is gone and can never be brought back.

Getting more confident in herself, Kate snuggled in closer to Castle, no longer worried about sharing this with him.

"The weekend after that, my mom would always take me ice skating. The first couple of times we went, my dad would come with us, determined to learn how to skate, but after awhile it was clear that he just didn't' have it in him so we developed a new tradition. Me and my mom would go ice skating and my dad would go shopping for our Christmas presents. After my dad was done, he would find his way back to the skating rink and we would all go to the little café around the corner to warm up with a cup of hot chocolate, we were big hot chocolate fans." Kate said with a laugh.

"I have to say, I'm surprised. I half expected you to be hooked on coffee the moment you were born the way you rely on it." Castle said with a smirk.

"Shut up." Kate said, smacking his chest. "Anyway, after we finished our hot chocolate, we would head home, curl up on the couch and watch movies for the rest of the weekend. We all had our spots where we would fall asleep and then when we woke up in the morning we would jump right back into the marathon."

"Is that where those pictures came from that we looked through during the Raglan case?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, I used to have a lot more, but they were all destroyed when my apartment blew up." Kate said, her smile, replaced with a sad expression.

Knowing that this was already a hard subject, Castle quickly pushed forward.

"What about the last weekend?" Castle asked, successfully putting the smile back on her face.

"The weekend before Christmas was my favorite. On Saturday we would all wake up and go to the local soup kitchen and help out for the day. I think that was one of the first things that drew me to justice and set me on the path to becoming a lawyer and eventually carrying over to becoming a cop. Every year I would meet so many people who didn't deserve the horrible things that happened to them and I wanted to make a difference. The next day, my mom and I would spend all day in the kitchen, making cookies. We had a list of everyone we had to make cookies for. Each year it grew larger and larger. Every person I met, I wanted to give cookies. My mom could have said no, could have said that there was only so much time, but she never did. It didn't matter how tired we were, or how busy she was, we made sure that every single person on that list got their cookies because that was what Christmas was about, giving." Kate said.

"I bet receiving cookies from you was the highlight of their Christmas." Castle said sincerely, knowing that if he got cookies, hell if he got one cookie from Kate, it would be the best present he ever received minus the present of Alexis.

"My dad has boxes and boxes of thank you notes from every person we ever gave cookies to. It was my favorite part, knowing that by giving them cookies I brought a smile to their face." Kate said.

"I think I know how you feel." Castle said, staring at the beautiful smile that had taken residence on Kate's face.

Kate just looked at him, silently telling him to go on.

"The first time I saw you smile, I vowed that I was going to do whatever it took to see your beautiful smile every day for the rest of my life. That's why I started bringing you coffee because every time you saw me walk out of the elevator with your cup, your face lit up in the most beautiful smile I have ever seen." Castle said.

"Hmm, I thought you brought me coffee because I would bite your head off if you didn't." Kate said, with a slight smirk, even though there were butterflies in her stomach knowing he brought her coffee simply because he wanted to see her smile.

"That too." Castle said with a smirk.

Kate laughed before falling silent in thought and Castle knew that they had finally reached the point where Kate shared what was bugging him.

"Remember the case we had with the magician?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, you gave me those flowers when we were leaving the precinct, I still have those you know." Castle said, knowing Kate was smiling at the thought that he kept something she gave him.

"I told you on that case that I didn't believe in magic, but I wasn't always like that. I figured out at a pretty young age that Santa didn't exist after I found the wrapping paper on all my presents from Santa stashed in my parent's room, but that didn't matter to my mom. She could have decided to not put in the effort, but she didn't, she still did everything in her power to show me the magic of the holiday to the point that even though I knew that Santa didn't exist, I still believed in the magic and I grew to love Christmas just as much as my mom, but when she died it was like all the magic disappeared with her. I finally got around to taking down the Christmas decorations a couple of weeks after she was killed and once they were put in the attic, they were never pulled down again. It just felt wrong celebrating without her there and instead of feeling the joy I used to feel when the holidays rolled around, I just felt angry at the world. When I became a cop, I would take as many hours as I could just to distract myself. I was pretty sure that I never wanted to celebrate Christmas again until I met you. I don't know what it was, but I just had the feeling that if anyone was going to make me enjoy the holidays again, it was going to be you. Every year when Christmas rolled around, I wished that I was spending it with you and Alexis and Martha, not at the precinct and I knew that all I had to do was ask, but I never did." Kate said.

"I would have let you come." Castle said.

"I know, I never doubted that, I guess I was just scared." Kate said.

"Scared?" Castle asked.

"I was scared that not even you could bring back that magic that I once felt, that the love I once had for Christmas was permanently gone just like my mom. I decided that it was better to continue the way I had for so many years before I met you rather than take the leap of faith, only to be disappointed to find out that no matter what anyone did, it was never going to be the way it was. I think that would have hurt more than losing the love of Christmas I had when my mom died." Kate said.

"But this year, you are taking the leap of faith." Castle said, finally understanding what was bothering her.

"This year I'm taking the leap of faith." Kate said.

"Remember how I told you that I walked in on Meredith and her director?" Castle asked.

"Yeah." Kate said, confused at the change of the subject.

"It was three days before Christmas. Alexis was young so she didn't really realize that Meredith was gone at first, so I thought that everything was going to be okay, that maybe Meredith didn't ruin Alexis's Christmas like I thought she did. Christmas morning rolled around and Alexis came running into my room, dressed in her little pink footy pajamas, jumping on the bed telling me it was time to open presents. I grabbed her off the bed and brought her into the living room, setting her in front of the tree before placing a present in front of her. I knew that she knew what to do, but she just sat there staring at it like she was waiting for something. Eventually, I had to ask her why she wasn't opening her present and she just simply said she was waiting for mommy. My heart broke. I had to sit there and tell my little girl on Christmas that her mom wasn't coming home anymore. Alexis cried so much that day that she wore herself out and fell asleep. We didn't get around to opening her presents until that night. When the next year rolled around, I was determined to make it the best Christmas she ever had. I got her everything on her list and more and it went alright, but as the years passed and Alexis grew to love Christmas more and more I realized that she didn't love Christmas because of the presents, but because of who she spent it with. We had so many things we did together and that is what brought the magic. I know that I am not your mom, but between me and Alexis, we are going to bring the magic back into your life because we are your family and that is what matters on Christmas." Castle said.

Kate lied their silent for the longest time and Castle was afraid he said too much until she spoke.

"Castle?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Promise me that no matter what happens this Christmas, you won't give up. Don't stop until I believe in magic again, okay?" Kate said.

"I promise." Castle said.

"I love you." Kate said, a smile reappearing on her face.

"I love you too." Castle replied.

"Always?" Kate asked.

"Always."

* * *

**A/N: **I know this chapter is long, but I didn't want to split it into two chapters. I'm not entirely sure about this chapter, I had some trouble with the ending, but let me know what you think


	75. Chapter 75

Chapter 75:

Castle had managed to drift off into a light sleep about an hour after Kate had finally fallen back to sleep, but he was wide awake the second he felt the first rays of sunlight break through the curtains in their bedroom.

He knew that he was going to regret this later when his lack of sleep finally caught up with him, but the conversation he had with Kate kept running through his mind and he knew that this was a big deal, he knew that he couldn't screw this up and he had to bring that magic back into Kate's life that was so suddenly taken from her.

If he was honest with himself, while he was a little nervous, he was even more excited because let's face it, in the words of Kate herself, he was a nine year old on a sugar rush at heart and any chance to go all out on a holiday was not going to be taken lightly by him. If it was up to him, every holiday would be over the top, but neither Alexis nor his mother shared the same joys that he did when it came to decorating the loft so with the exception of Halloween which they deemed his holiday to go all out, he was only allowed minimal decorations on every other holiday.

When it came to Christmas, he was allowed a tree, a mistletoe, and the traditional fireplace decorations, but this was about to change and he didn't care how much his family protested, though he had a feeling that once he explained the situation, they would become full fledge participants in his task to bring back the joy of Christmas in the life of Kate Beckett.

Craning his head, Castle caught a glimpse of the clock, 6:15, and decided that it was an acceptable time for him to start his planning. Carefully extracting himself from under Kate, who was sprawled on top of him, he quickly threw on a t-shirt to go along with his sweat pants before throwing a blanket on top of Kate, loving the way her fingers instantly closed around it as she snuggled deeper into her pillow, her face totally relaxed with a slight smile on her face.

Grabbing his phone, he shot of a quick text to Lanie, asking her to meet him at the loft, hoping that she was already up and curious enough to meet his request.

Quietly slipping out of the room, he made his way to the kitchen where Alexis was already perched at the bar, sipping on a glass of orange juice, pouring over one of her textbooks.

"Morning pumpkin." Castle said, giving her a kiss on the forehead before making his way around the counter to pour a cup of coffee that had thankfully already been brewed by Alexis.

"Morning dad, I'm surprised to see you up, I made that coffee for Kate knowing that she is usually up before you." Alexis said with a smirk.

"Yes, well I've got a busy day today. Speaking of being up, why are you awake at six in the morning on a Saturday reading a text book, I thought you were at some sleep over with Paige?" Castle asked.

"I was, but she had some family thing to get to and I wanted to get in some studying." Alexis said.

"I have failed you as a parent." Castle said, clutching his heart in mock disappointment.

"Why have you failed my granddaughter as a parent?" Martha asked as she made her walk of shame from whatever she ended up doing last night.

"She came home, from a sleepover, early, to study. I don't know where she gets these horrible habits from because it is definitely not from either one of us and even more unlikely to come from her mother." Castle said.

"It probably came from all those years she spent raising her father, speaking of which, why are you up?" Martha asked her son.

"I have a busy day ahead and I wanted to get started as soon as possible, speaking of which, I need your ladies help." Castle said as there was a knock on the door.

"Are you expecting someone?" Martha asked as Alexis slipped out of her chair to answer the door.

"I actually am." Castle said with a grin as Alexis made her way back into the kitchen followed by Lanie.

"Writer boy, you are lucky that I was up and in the area otherwise I would have been angry that you woke me up at 6:15 in the morning. Where's my girl?" Lanie asked, looking around the loft like Kate was hiding somewhere.

"She's still asleep." Castle said.

"Then why am I here?" Lanie asked.

"I need you three's help." Castle said.

"Oh! Is this about the ring?" Lanie asked.

"What ring?" Alexis asked, turning to level a glare at her father, missing the wide eyed look Lanie had, not realizing she was the only one he told.

"I may have been out shopping the other day and saw a ring that I knew was perfect for Kate and I may have bought it, gotten it engraved, and fit to her size." Castle rushed out.

"I assume we are talking about an engagement ring?" Martha asked, a slight hint of a smile on her lips.

"You would assume correctly, I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys, but I was planning on getting it, it just kind of happened." Castle said with a shrug.

"And Lanie knows how?" Alexis asked.

"She came over last night to drop off dinner and one thing led to another and before I knew it I let it slip that I had a ring picked out. You know how she is Alexis, even you agree that Lanie should handle interrogations, she has a way of getting things out of people like no one I've ever met. She could give Kate a run for her money." Castle said.

Alexis gave him a look before breaking into a smile. "So is this about the ring?" she asked.

"No, this is not about the ring, I will make sure you all know when I am planning to give it to her, this is about Kate and Christmas." Castle said.

Alexis and Martha looked at each other in confusion, while the smile dropped off of Lanie's face knowing exactly what the problem was involving Kate and Christmas.

"What about Kate and Christmas?" Alexis asked.

"She hasn't celebrated since her mom died, it was their holiday so after she died, neither Kate nor Jim could bring themselves to celebrate." Lanie said quietly.

"Oh." Alexis said, realizing this was serious.

"Richard, darling, didn't you say that Kate was celebrating with us this year?" Martha asked.

"Writer boy, you didn't guilt her into celebrating did you? You know what anything involving her mother does to her better than anyone." Lanie said, leveling a glare his way.

"No, I did not guilt her into it, I didn't even bring it up. She was the one that told me she was taking a month off so that she could spend Christmas with us. If you all just stayed quiet for a couple of minutes I'll explain." Castle said.

"Fine." They all said in unison.

"Okay, so last night, Kate was doing her little hair thing that let's us know that something was wrong. At first she didn't want to talk about it, but eventually she got it all out. She was telling me about her mom and Christmas and about how after she died she just couldn't bring herself to want to celebrate, that when her mom died, the magic went with her. At first, I thought that she was trying to tell me that she wasn't ready to celebrate with us, which I would have been perfectly fine with had that been the case." Castle said, glaring at them all for their previous attack assuming he had persuaded her to celebrate. "However, she quickly explained that this wasn't the case, that she wanted to celebrate Christmas and for the first time in a long time she was actually kind of looking forward to it."

"So what do you need our help with?" Lanie asked.

"She made me promise that I wouldn't stop trying to bring her back that joy she felt at Christmas. I want to make this Christmas special for her. She shared with me all of her traditions that her family took part in over the course of December. We only have a couple of weeks left, which means we will have to make a couple of modifications, but I thought that we would recreate those traditions with out own little spin and with our own little family. Today, I am going to need your ladies help to keep Kate out of the house until I give the all clear for you to come back and then after that all I need from you is to promise that you will go along with what I have planned without any questions." Castle said.

"I like what you are trying to do dad, but I think before we can agree to just go along with everything, you should at least give us an idea what you're planning." Alexis said, Lanie and Martha nodding in agreement.

"Okay, that's fair. My first plan of action is to go pay Jim a visit about using the decorations that they used to decorate their house with. I know that Kate probably has memories with them and think it will help bring back those happy memories if they are familiar. I'm hoping that Jim will agree to participate in this plan of action, but if he doesn't I understand. After I get all the decorations back to the loft, I'll give you guy's the all clear and then you'll come back and you four plus maybe Jenny, Esposito, Ryan and hopefully Jim will all decorate the loft as a family. I haven't thought about the rest, but it will include the other things she did, ice skating, hot chocolate, searching for the perfect tree, things like that, but all with her family. That's the key, family. I think part of the reason it was so difficult for her to celebrate was because she felt like she didn't have anyone to celebrate with, but now she does, she has her own family. So what do you say, are you in?" Castle asked.

"I'm in." Alexis said with a huge grin, hopping down from her chair to give him a hug.

"I think it's a marvelous idea, Richard! Count me in." Martha exclaimed.

"Writer boy, I swear if my girl wasn't madly in love with you, I think I would have to take you for myself." Lanie said with a genuine smile.

Castle's smile grew, knowing that if he had these three ladies' support, he could do anything.

"Then without further ado, Let operation 'Bring Back the Magic' commence!"

* * *

**A/N: **I didn't originally plan for Christmas to become such a big production, but the idea just took off and I'm going with it, I am absolutely loving this idea and hope you guys enjoy Operation: Bring Back the Magic just as much as I am going to.

Enjoy and please review! Reviews are my drug of choice;)


	76. Chapter 76

Chapter 76:

Leaving Lanie and Alexis to call Esposito, Ryan, and Jenny to explain what he had planned and his mother to call and book an appointment at the spa resort for the day, Castle made Kate a cup of coffee and then made his way into the bedroom to wake her up.

It was moments like these that made him glad Kate was a morning person because if it was up to him to wake her up, he wouldn't be able to do it.

She was so adorable and peaceful looking when she was asleep, not to say she was beautiful when she was awake, because she definitely was, but when she was asleep all the tension and sadness that has filled her life since her mother died was vacant from her expression. She looked so innocent and if he had to guess, this was probably what she looked like all the time before her mother died.

As much as he didn't want to wake her up, he knew that what he had planned was going to be worth the couple hours of sleep they missed. Plus, he could always watch her sleep another time.

Setting the coffee down on the bedside table, he lightly brushed her hair out of her face before leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead.

"Kate, baby, it's time to get up." He said quietly, not wanting to startle her.

"Not yet, too warm." Kate mumbled, rolling over so her back was to him, snuggling back into the pillow.

"I can think of other ways to keep you warm if you wake up." Castle said with a slight smirk as he leaned over her and began peppering light kisses along her neck and jaw.

"Mmm, feels good." Kate mumbled, unconsciously stretching her neck to give him better access.

Knowing that she wasn't awake yet, but still somewhere in between consciousness and a dream, Castle brought his lips to hers.

At first, her lips were still underneath his, but he knew that she was up when she shifted slightly, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him more fully on top of her as her lips began to respond very enthusiastically.

Allowing them both to enjoy this, he let the kiss deepen, granting her access to his mouth when she asked, but before long he knew that he needed to stop this before they got carried away.

Slowing down the kiss to signal that it was coming to an end, Castle reluctantly broke away, staring down at Kate, who's cheeks were flushed, lips swollen, hair spread out over the pillow.

"Good morning beautiful." He said with a huge smile.

"Mmm, good morning. What time is it?" Kate asked as she tried to wake herself up some more.

"A little after 7." Castle said.

Kate's eyes snapped open. "Why are you waking me up at 7 in the morning on my first day off in who knows how long?"

"Because you have plans and need to get ready." Castle said with a shrug.

Kate just leveled him with a glare letting him know that he better elaborate before he was sorry.

"Mother, Alexis, and Lanie are currently in the kitchen waiting for you to get up and get dressed. Esposito, Ryan, and Jenny are on their way over. You, mother, Alexis, Lanie, and Jenny are going to a full day spa treatment and the boys and I are going to hang around the loft and probably play some video games." Castle said.

Kate stared at him with an unreadable expression before her face broke out in a grin. "Is that coffee I smell?"

Castle grinned, knowing that meant she was giving in. "Of course. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't bring my wonderful girlfriend coffee when I woke her up far to early. Now get your cute, little butt out of bed and in the shower, I'll be in the kitchen with our guests, don't keep us waiting too long." Castle said with a wink as he pulled her up off the bed and pushed her towards the shower, slapping her butt before he practically ran to the door to avoid bodily harm.

"I'll get you back for that, just so you know." Kate said, shooting a glare in his direction with an evil grin before disappearing into the bathroom with her coffee.

With a shake of his head and a smile at how absolutely lucky he is to have a woman like that love him, he turned to make his way back to the kitchen, only to stop, leaning against the doorway to take in the sight before him.

Lanie was sitting on the end of the bar, Jenny standing opposite her both watching Martha, who seemed to be recounting some sort of dramatic event that had happened to her in the past week. He couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped at the slightly bewildered look on Jenny's face, after all, this was the first time that she had met Martha and no amount of preparation could get you ready for the antics of Martha Rodgers.

Alexis, Esposito, and Ryan were all gathered around the other end of the counter and from the looks of it, Esposito and Ryan were trying to tease Alexis, but Alexis must have turned it around on them judging by the bewildered looks on their faces. It brought a smile to his face knowing that if anything happened to him or Kate, they would be there to look out for Alexis. He kind of felt bad for the man that ultimately stole his daughter's heart. He was pretty sure the boys would be right there with him when it came to giving him the whole "you hurt her, you have us to worry about" speech. He was pretty sure it wouldn't take much to convince them to take him for a little ride to the precinct in the back of a cruiser, have Beckett lay down the law in the interrogation room, and then finish it off with Lanie telling him exactly how she would make his death look like an accident.

He must have been standing in the doorway longer than he thought, because he was suddenly overcome with the smell of cherries as Kate wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"What are you looking at?" she asked.

Castle just nodded his head in the direction of the kitchen. "I don't when it happened or how I got so lucky, but I've got a family, an unconventional one, but a family nonetheless."

"They are pretty great, aren't they?" Kate said, a smile on her face. They really were one big family and she wouldn't have it any other way.

"The best. Now I think we should go intervene before my mother scares Jenny away for good." Castle said with a chuckle, taking her hand and dragging her toward the kitchen.

"Hey girl." Lanie said as she heard her best friend approach the group.

"If I didn't know better, I would think you moved into the loft too, with how much you've been here since I moved in." Kate said with a smirk.

"Could you imagine the amount of wine we would go through with my mother and you two living here? We would single handedly support the alcohol industry!" Castle said.

"I would smack you, write boy, but you have a point." Lanie said.

"Yo Castle, bro, what's this about you giving our ladies a spa treatment, trying to make us look bad?" Esposito said, folding his arms across his chest, Ryan following suit.

"What can I say, anything for these beautiful ladies. Besides, the sooner they leave, the sooner we can break out the video games." Castle said, pretending to whisper, but making sure that everyone heard him.

"Girl, writer boy is already trying to get rid of you, what did you do to him last night?" Lanie asked.

"Wonderful, wonderful things." Castle said, a far away look on his face.

"TMI dad!" Alexis squealed.

"Sorry pumpkin." Castle said, even though he didn't look very sorry.

"Well, darlings, why don't we let these men do whatever men do while we go get ourselves pampered and massaged by Hot, muscular men." Martha said with a wink.

"Hot?" Esposito gulped.

"Muscular?" Ryan added.

"Men?" Castle gasped.

"They're so easy." Kate said with a smirk, giving Castle a kiss goodbye before disappearing out the door with Lanie, Martha, Jenny, and Alexis.

When the door shut with a click, Esposito and Ryan turned to question Castle.

"So, did Beckett really tell you that she wanted to celebrate Christmas?" Esposito asked.

"Or is this one of your crazy ideas?" Ryan added.

"Because if she didn't tell you that she wanted this, then we're out." Esposito said.

"We don't mess with Kate and Christmas." Ryan finished.

"Guys, you know I would never force Kate to do anything that she didn't want to do, especially something like this. She really wants this." Castle said.

Esposito and Ryan looked at each other and seemed to be having a silent conversation before turning back to Castle.

"In that case, we better get going, we don't know how long this is going to take." Esposito said with a huge smile that matched Ryan's and soon Castle's.

Forty five minutes, armed with two large SUV's, not knowing how many decorations there were, Castle, Esposito and Ryan were pulling up in front of the address Lanie had given them for Kate's dad's house.

This was the moment of truth. He knew enough about Jim to know that he would not only approve, but encourage his plans to bring the magic of the Christmas season back into Kate's life, but Castle wasn't sure if the man would agree to participate and that was what he was most nervous about.

He wanted to make this perfect for Kate and while he couldn't bring back her mother, he could bring back her father into the holiday celebrations and he really wanted that for her, but he knew that the death of his wife was a particularly difficult topic for Jim and he didn't want to push him into anything that he wasn't comfortable with.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door before taking a step back to wait.

"Rick?" Jim asked, surprised to see the writer standing at his door. "Javier, Ryan." He continued when he noticed the two men standing off to the side of Castle.

"Hey Jim, can we come in and talk?" Castle asked with a warm smile.

"Of course, I was just putting on a pot of coffee. Is everything okay? Nothing happened to Katie did it?" Jim asked, worried as to why Kate wasn't with them.

"What? Oh no, it's nothing like that. Kate's at a spa trip with my mother and daughter and Lanie, and Kevin's fiancé, Jenny." Castle explained. "I guess I should have started with that, I didn't think how it would look, us showing up here without her."

"It's perfectly alright, please gentleman, make yourselves comfortable." Jim said, motioning to the couch before heading into the kitchen to get four cups and the pot of coffee along with some milk and sugar.

"So what can I do for you gentleman today?" Jim asked as he placed the tray with their drinks in front of them.

"We're here about Christmas." Castle said, cringing a little as the smile dropped slightly of off Jim's face.

"Christmas." Jim repeated.

"Yes. Kate and I were talking about it and she decided that she was ready to celebrate again, that she wanted to feel that joy she once felt when she celebrated with Johanna. She asked me to make her believe in the magic again, so I came up with a plan and I was hoping that you would participate. I completely understand if it is too difficult for you, but I want this to be absolutely perfect for Kate because I can tell how important Christmas was to her and I think it would mean a lot to her if you were there." Castle said.

Jim studied the man in front of him. It was clear that this man absolutely loved his daughter and would do anything for her, not that he didn't already know that, but something about the pure devotion and determination to do this for his little Katie bug was more than enough convincing for him.

"What do you have in mind?" Jim asked, smiling when he saw the writer visibly relax.

"Basically, I want to recreate the traditions that she used to share with you and Johanna, but with our own little twist to it with the family she has now. I want her to realize that it isn't so much the actual celebrating that brings the joy to Christmas, but rather those she spends it with. These guys already committed to being part of the festivities, my mother, daughter, Lanie, and Jenny all agreed to be a part of it so all that's left is you, if you want of course. We are all going to help bring back the joy as a family because that's what we are, I would do anything for anyone of them and I know that they feel the same. Like I said, I completely understand if you don't want to join us, but you are part of our family too and I know it would not only mean a lot to me, but also to Kate if you were there." Castle said.

Jim sat there in silence for a couple minutes thinking it through. On one hand, he knew that this was going to be difficult. The Christmas season always reminded him of Johanna and that was always going to be a difficult subject for him, but on the other hand he wanted to see that joy that Katie used to have come back and Rick had already proven that he has the ability to bring that out of her and maybe, just maybe, the writer could bring back his joy for the holiday too.

With a smile, Jim only had to say four words.

"Where do we start?"


	77. Chapter 77

Chapter 77:

They had just finished getting the last of the decorations unloaded and brought up to the loft when Castle's phone chimed letting him know he had a text.

**Lanie: Are you almost done? We can't hold off Kate much longer. I don't know what you did, but that girl misses you and wants to come home;) **

Castle broke out into a huge grin knowing exactly what Kate was going through. Sure they had just seen each other this morning, but he missed her too. He hated being away from her even if it was for a short amount of time.

**Castle: Just finished bringing up the last box, you're welcome back any time:)**

**Lanie: Did you get Jim involved? **

**Castle: Affirmative. **

**Lanie: Good work, writer boy! See you soon. You might want to hide behind the boys, I think your girl will jump you as soon as we get there no matter who's around;)**

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he made his way into the kitchen where Esposito, Ryan, and Jim were all standing around the counter.

"Lanie just texted me, they should be home soon." Castle said.

"So what's the plan? Are we just going to let her walk in and see the boxes before we explain or what?" Esposito asked.

"I'm not sure. Will she recognize the boxes Jim or will she have to open them first?" Castle asked Kate's father.

"She will most definitely recognize the hand writing on the boxes as her mothers." Jim said with a smile.

"Then I say we leave everything where it is and let things play out as they play out." Castle said.

Twenty minutes had passed when Jim noticed that Rick was glancing at the door more frequently with each passing minute, the nerves radiating off of him as he started to worry himself on whether or not Kate would like this idea.

Deciding to put the poor man out of his misery he decided to speak up.

"Rick, relax. My daughter loves you and trusts you. The fact that she wants you to do this for her means that no matter what you plan, she is going to love it because it came from you." Jim said.

Castle took a shaky breath, nodding his head, thankful for Jim's reassuring words.

Meanwhile, Kate was fighting with everything she had not to make it obvious that she was extremely frustrated with how slow the elevator was moving towards the loft.

She just wanted to see Castle. She knew it was sickening that she couldn't go one day, hell that she couldn't go a few hours without missing him, but it wasn't her fault. For the few years, minus a few summers, Castle was always there. She saw him all day, every day and now that they were together it only got worse, so yes, she was annoyed with the elevator.

Alexis, Martha, and Jenny were completely unaware of her annoyance as they chatted about their day, but Lanie, knowing her friends tells, couldn't help the smirk that appeared on her face as her friend very obviously watched the little screen that let them know what floor they were on rather impatiently.

When they finally reached their floor, Lanie stepped forward, hooking her arm with Kate's.

"Should we just leave now or are you going to be able to control yourself until we leave." Lanie said with a knowing smile.

"Shut up." Kate said as they approached the door and she took out her keys.

If she weren't thinking about anything, but seeing Castle, she would have noticed the fact that everyone had fallen silent and were shooting glances at each other, knowing what was on the other side of the door, but she didn't so when she opened the door she was completely unprepared for what she saw.

Scattered around the entry way were boxes upon boxes, all labeled with words like ornaments or lights, in a familiar writing, her mom's writing. These were their ornaments, the ornaments they so often decorated the house with. She hadn't seen them since she took them down after her mom died.

Walking up to the nearest box, oblivious to the fact that she not only had an audience in the women she had come home with, but also the four men standing around the counter in the kitchen, she opened the box, her eyes instantly becoming wet with tears when she was met with the sight of the angel they would put on the top of the Christmas tree.

Pulling it out of the box, her head shot up, eyes connecting with Castle's immediately. He seemed to understand because one second he was standing on the other side of the counter and the next he was pulling her into his arms.

"What is all this?" she managed to choke out.

"They're decorations, your decorations. When you told me that you wanted to believe in the magic of Christmas again I came up with a plan. This is the first step. You told me that the first thing you did when the Christmas season rolled around is decorate the house, so we are going to decorate the loft. We are going to recreate the Christmas you grew to love. Everything you did with your mom and dad, we are going to do together, me, you, Alexis, Mother, Lanie, Esposito, Jenny, Ryan, and your dad, our family." Castle said.

"My family." Kate said with a smile, she liked the sound of that. Wait… did he… "Did you say my dad?"

Castle just smiled and shifted his body slightly so she could see her smiling father sitting on a stool by the counter.

"Hey Katie bug." Jim said, standing up as Kate crossed the loft, wrapping him in a hug.

"Hi dad. Are you sure about this?" Kate asked.

"No, but its time. You're mother would never forgive me if she found out that we stopped celebrating Christmas just because she is no longer with us. I should have held onto those traditions, but I didn't, but now we can create new traditions, with new family, that I am sure about." Jim said.

"Thanks dad." Kate said, giving her dad one more hug before turning back to Castle.

"Alright Castle, what's the plan?" she asked with a smirk.

Twenty minutes later, operation: bring back the magic was in full swing. Christmas music was being pushed through all the speakers scattered around the house, Alexis was in the kitchen, offering to cook dinner for everyone to eat before they left since it had been awhile since any of them had eaten. Esposito and Ryan were unsuccessfully trying to untangle the bundle of lights until an amused Jenny came over and untangled them in seconds, much to the enjoyment of Castle who was busy wrapping the few strands of lights they had managed to untangle around every uncovered service. Martha and Jim were busy decorating the fire place with all the proper decorations, exchanging stories about their children. Lanie, who must have had the same idea as Castle when it came to the mistletoes, was running around the loft putting them in every place possible, only to be followed by a laughing Kate, her face glowing with joy, who was pulling them down, going on and on about how Martha and Alexis not needing to see that.

Everything was going perfect.

They finished decorating before dinner, but decided that they would leave the grand reveal for after they were finished eating, so they all made their way to the table where a delicious spread of lasagna, French bread, and salad was spread out where they quickly fell into conversation sharing stories.

Alexis announced to the table that she decided that she was going to follow in Lanie's footsteps and continue on the path to become a medical examiner, which made everyone beam with pride, but none who quite matched Lanie's.

When Martha offered Ryan some wine to go with his dinner, the detective declined, saying that since Jenny couldn't have alcohol, he wasn't either. Of course, Lanie, being nosey, couldn't let it go and asked why Jenny couldn't have alcohol. Kevin and Jenny looked at each other and broke out into huge smiles and announced that they were due to have a baby about 7 months after the wedding, After a round of congratulations and a toast, the conversation turned to the stories at the precinct.

Ryan and Esposito launched into the story about how they convinced Castle that he was cursed after he caught a glimpse of an old Mayan mummy, which led Alexis to add that he had cut himself that night and was convinced that he was still cursed.

Martha then proceeded to tell the group how she had some friends from Broadway over one night when Richard was just a little boy. She had put him to bed hours ago, but apparently he couldn't handle not being the center of attention. Next thing she knew, he was running around the apartment wearing absolutely nothing but one of her big, decorative hats and pair of heels. Castle just glared at his mother, knowing he was never going to live that one down.

Kate seemed to enjoy that story the most, so Jim decided that it was only fair to share one of her stories and proceeded to tell the group about the time that his little Katie bug had decided that she didn't like her long hair and decided to give herself a haircut. It turned out that she had hacked away at her hair so much they eventually had to cut it all off into a short little boy cut and let it grow back. Jim was lucky looks couldn't kill because Kate was shooting daggers his way.

After they were all beyond stuffed, they all relocated into the living room where Castle brought them all hot chocolate for the grand reveal of their work. Once everyone had a drink, Castle flipped off all the lights in the loft and then flipped the switch that would turn on the Christmas decorations.

It was beautiful.

Lanie and Esposito were curled up on the chair, grinning like idiots at the sight before them while Esposito whispered in her ear. Kevin and Jenny were also grinning like idiots while Kevin rubbed small, soothing circles on her stomach. Martha and Alexis were talking quietly about something.

Kate was taking it all in, her face completely relaxed, her eyes filled with nothing but joy. She had to admit, she was kind of nervous when she first found out about Castle plans to recreate Christmas, thinking that she wouldn't be able to handle it, but she found that as they all worked to decorate the loft, she only found herself thinking about her mom a couple of times because even though she missed her mom, she realized that she had a family who was still living and loved her and it was time to celebrate with them.

Castle had no idea how the loft looked. He meant to look, but the moment he flipped the switch, his eyes were drawn to Kate. She was mesmerizing and so beautiful. He had seen the look on her face before, but only in the pictures he had seen from before her mom had died and it warmed his heart knowing that even if it was just for a little bit, he could bring that innocence and joy back into her life. As far as he was concerned, phase one was a success.

Jim had taken in his surroundings and he couldn't help, but smile. Even though it still brought back memories of Johanna, they were happy memories of all the wonderful years they spent together. Eventually though, his attention drifted to watching Rick watch his daughter. He knew the look on the writer's face. It was one of pure love and joy, the same look he knew he had when he looked at Johanna. Watching Rick, he knew it was only a matter of time before the writer paid him another visit, asking for his daughter's hand in marriage. He was also pretty sure that Rick probably already had a ring stashed away somewhere.

After the initial wonder subsided, Martha and Alexis bid everyone good night. When Ryan announced that they had to get going, Esposito and Lanie decided that it was good a time as any to also head out. As Castle showed them to the door, Jim went to sit by his daughter.

"He's good for you. He would do anything for you if it meant you were happy." Jim said, watching his daughter watch the writer.

"I know. I would do anything for him too." Kate said with a smile.

"You really love him don't you?" Jim asked.

"I fall in love with him all over again, each and every day. I know it's cliché, but its true. He's it for me and that used to scare me, but now I can't imagine it any other way." Kate said, tearing her eyes away from Castle to look at his father.

"Have you told him that?" Jim asked.

"I have." Kate said.

"Good. Just make sure you don't wait too long, I always told you how I wanted grandchildren." Jim said with a smirk as he stood up and made his way to the door.

"Jim, thank you for coming." Castle said, holding out his hand.

"Thank you for inviting me and thank you for doing this. I know it was all for Katie, but it helped me too and I can't thank you enough for that. Take care of my little girl." Jim said.

"Always." Castle replied, catching Kate's eyes over her dad's shoulder.

Kate said goodbye to her father on more time and once she closed and locked up the door, she went in search of Castle, finding him looking out the window and the city beyond.

"Thank you." She said, wrapping her arms around him.

"For what?" he asked, turning to pull her into his chest.

"For everything, for all of this. I know you probably have so many more things planned for me, but just tonight, I had so much fun. It was like it used to be and it's all because of you. You made it special for me, made sure that everyone that mattered was here. I have no idea how you got my dad here, but thank you. It made it even better." Kate said.

"I would do anything for you KB, anything at all." Castle said.

"I love you, writer man." Kate said, giving him a kiss.

'I love you too." Castle said looking around the loft. "Hey, where's all those mistletoes I saw Lanie trying to hang up?"

"I hid them." Kate said with a smirk as she started to walk away, unbuttoning her shirt in the process.

"Where?" Castle asked.

"In the bedroom. You coming?" Kate asked, turning around to reveal a very sexy black laced bra.

"I love Christmas!"


	78. Chapter 78

Chapter 78:

When Castle woke up the next morning his senses were instantly overwhelmed with the scent of cherries, but not just cherries, cherries and Kate.

He loved that smell.

Opening his eyes he looked down to see the woman he loved curled against his side. Their legs were tangled together, her head was resting on his chest, and one of her hands was resting right above his heart, keeping it safe even in her sleep.

He loved her.

Shifting slightly so he was more on his side, he pulled her closer into him, smiling when she nuzzled into his neck and closed his eyes, deciding they could get a couple more hours of sleep.

Apparently, his daughter had other ideas though because right when he was about to fall back asleep, a pillow connected with his face, promptly waking him back up.

"What was that for?" he mumbled, rubbing the side of his face.

"You said that we were going to go get a Christmas tree and it's almost 10. They are going to be gone if you don't get up soon." Alexis practically whined, at least as close as an 18 year old could get to whining.

"Okay, okay. Go start breakfast. We will be out in a half an hour." Castle said, lying back down.

"Dad, you are going to fall asleep again." Alexis said, hands on her hips.

"I won't. I promise. Now go. I've got to wake Kate up." Castle said.

Alexis gave him one more glare before turning on her heels and skipping back into the kitchen.

Snuggling back into his covers, he was about to pull Kate back into his chest, but was instead met with Kate watching him with a smirk on her face.

"You aren't going to let me go back to sleep, are you." He mumbled.

"I'm just trying to protect that beautiful head of yours from another pillow attack." Kate said through a chuckle as she brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"You saw her hit me with a pillow and didn't come to my rescue?" Castle gasped with mock hurt.

"Poor baby." Kate said, placing a kiss on his nose. "So Christmas tree shopping, huh? Is that part of your grand scheme to make me fall back in love with Christmas?"

"This one was actually Alexis. I was just going to pull out the fake tree we had from the basement for us to decorate, but Alexis wouldn't let me, something about me half-assing it. Can you believe it? My perfect daughter said ass!" Castle said in surprise.

"I can't believe you were going to make me decorate a fake tree!" Kate said, her eyes wide in mock horror.

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing my daughter is so smart." Castle said with a smile, happy that Kate was embracing this in full stride.

"She seems excited." Kate said, nodding in the direction of Alexis.

"I think if it weren't for the fact that she is going to be busy at the morgue a couple days this week, she would probably take over the entire operation. After I finally convinced her that you really wanted this, she was practically bouncing off the walls. She loves Christmas and she loves spreading the Christmas cheer." Castle said.

"You had to convince her that this is what I wanted?" Kate said, eyebrows raised.

"I had to convince everyone! They all thought that this was me, putting my nose where it doesn't belong. I don't know where they got that idea, it's not like I've been butting into your life for the past four years or anything like that." Castle said.

"Not at all, it's not like you wormed your way into consulting on that first case, or used your connections with the mayor to make sure you stuck around, or have spent every second of every day trying to figure out more about me." Kate said, drawing small circles on his chest with a smirk on her face because they both know that while it was initially annoying, she grew to love it and would miss it if he stopped.

"I feel like they don't even know me. Now let's go, if we don't get up soon, we are both going to be subjected to the wrath of my teenage daughter and I refuse to protect you since you didn't protect me." Castle said, sticking his tongue out like a five year old before pulling her out of the bed, draping her over his shoulder and carrying her into the bathroom, despite her protests that she can walk just fine on her own.

Fifteen minutes later, Castle and Kate made their way into the kitchen to find Alexis putting the last of the breakfast on plates and another fifteen minutes, dressed in the warmest clothes they could find since they were going to be outside, they began to make their way across town to the tree farm Kate told them about.

When they got there, the place was already bustling and Alexis immediately began to worry that they weren't going to be able to find a tree, but Kate quickly assured her that there were plenty of trees left and they would find the perfect tree.

For the next three hours, the trio walked up and down the aisles of trees, Alexis slightly in front of them, studying each and every tree with careful scrutiny while Kate and Castle walked behind her, hands intertwined, laughing at the antics of little Castle.

The more time that past, the more and more Kate realized that this was nothing like it was with her parents when she was younger, but she also realized that it was okay because she was still having just as much fun with her own little family. It wasn't going to be the same because she wasn't with the same people, but the people she was with loved her no matter what her past was like, no matter how many times she had caused them pain and that made this even more special, especially when Alexis stopped suddenly, face lit up with pure joy as she pointed to a tree and claimed that it was the one.

When Castle and Kate stopped in front of it, Kate just smiled, knowing exactly why Alexis chose this tree, but it took a little more convincing on Castle's part.

"Why this one?" he asked as took in the tree in front of him. It wasn't necessarily bad, but it was smaller than the others surrounding it and was a little crooked and beat up looking, nothing like he imagined the tree they would be bringing home to look like.

"Because it's just like us." Alexis said triumphantly.

"How is this tree just like us?" Castle asked, not following her train of thought.

Alexis was about to answer, but Kate beat her to it.

"It's different, unconventional. It's obviously been through a lot and is a little messed up, definitely not perfect, but yet, it's still standing, just like us." Kate said with a gentle smile, looking at Alexis to see that she was spot on with her assumption as to why the young teenager wanted this tree.

Castle looked between both of his girls before looking back at the tree with a contemplative look on his face before he broke into a huge grin. "I love it."

For the next twenty minutes, Castle circled the tree trying to figure out to get up to the front of the farm while Alexis and Kate watched, breaking out into fits of laughter at each failed attempt until one of the young work boys came up and took pity on him, grabbing the tree and dragging it up front so they could pay for it.

After arranging to have the tree delivered to the loft, Castle, Kate, and Alexis made their way to Remy's for a late lunch.

The waitress had just brought them their food and Kate noticed that Alexis seemed to be glancing at her phone more than usual with a worried look on her face.

"Everything okay, Lex?" Kate asked as she took a bite of her burger.

"Yeah, it's just Ashley." Alexis said, a contemplative look on her face.

"Ashley? You guys broke up, is he bothering you? Do I need to have another talk with him?" Castle asked, superhero dad rising to the surface.

"No dad. It's nothing like that." Alexis said, giving her best Beckett eye-roll.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kate asked.

"There's nothing to really talk about. He misses me and I miss him and he wants to give us another shot. I still care about him, I always will, he's one of my best friends, but I don't know if I miss him because I miss us together or I just miss him because I haven't seen him since he left for college." Alexis admitted with a shrug.

"You don't know if you are in love with him." Kate said knowingly.

"Hey, hey, hey! This is my little girl we are talking about, she is too young to be talking about loving someone unless it's about her love for her amazing father." Castle exclaimed.

"Dad!" Alexis scolded.

"Behave." Kate said, poking his side.

"Fine." Castle grumbled as Kate turned back to Alexis.

"Do you think you love Ashley?" Kate asked.

"I think I could, but I don't know. How did you know you loved my dad? That he was it for you." Alexis asked.

"I don't know, I think I'm reexamining my options." Kate said with a smirk.

"I'm right here!" Castle said, his face in a scowl, but his eyes twinkling because he knew that Kate was his forever and always.

"I think I always knew that deep down, he was it for me, but I think I finally admitted it to myself, stopped myself from denying it after he told me about my mom's case. I was so angry and hurt that I just had to get out of there, but the second I left, even though I was still so angry, even though I felt betrayed, the only thing I wanted to do was walk right back into the loft, I just wanted to be with him. I think that's when I finally admitted to myself that he was it, when no matter how bad he hurt me, at the end of the day, I still wanted to be with him." Kate said with a smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"That's why you were sitting in the hallway crying?" Castle asked, rubbing small circles on their joined hands.

"Yes. I wanted to come back so bad, but I was too stubborn to and I knew I couldn't leave so I decided I would just camp out in the hallway, knowing that eventually either you would come after me or either Alexis or Martha would find me and come and get you. Either way, you would come and get me." Kate said.

"I'll always come and get you." Castle said, pulling her into a sweet and tender kiss.

"Guys, I'm still right here, save it for later." Alexis said with a mock shudder. "What about you, dad? When did you realize that Kate was it for you?"

"Hmm, well I think it's pretty obvious that I always had feelings for her, especially after the whole Demming debacle, but I always thought that eventually, I could get over her until the case with the dead magician." Castle said with a smile.

"The magician case?" Alexis asked.

"It was when me and Gina were in the midst of the fight that ended it all. Before we got the case, mother was asking me about our fight and what it was all about and I told her that it was because we were just fine. Like we literally fought about how ordinary we were and I realized that I wanted extraordinary. Somewhere in the middle of the case, Kate and I were in one of the conference rooms, building theory and we got into one of our little finishing each other's sentences, totally cut off from the rest of the world moments and when we stopped talking we just stood there, staring at each other. In that moment I realized that my relationships were ordinary because the only person I wanted extraordinary with was Kate. So I broke up with Gina and decided to wait for Kate, however long that took, even if it took forever." Castle said.

"What I got from both of your stories was that you realized that it just hit you one day and you knew which doesn't help me." Alexis said with an exasperated sigh.

"Sorry pumpkin. Just know that no matter what happens, your daddy will always love you no matter how many times you roll your eyes at him." Castle said with a goofy smile.

"Thanks dad." Alexis said sarcastically. "Now let's get back to the loft and decorate our dysfunctional tree."

Alexis and Kate went to hail a cab while Castle paid for their meal and then they made their way back to the loft, pulling out all of Kate's remaining boxes with her ornaments in it and the ornaments that Castle, Alexis, and Martha put on the tree every year.

Martha made her way down stairs about ten minutes after they arrived to join the party and after making some eggnog to make the experience that much more authentic, they began pulling out ornaments, the loft soon filled with laughter as they shared stories behind them.

As they began to reach the bottom of the boxes, Castle saw Kate pull out the angel that she had grabbed first when she opened the box yesterday when she came back from the spa.

"Do you want to do the honors and put it on the tree?" Castle asked with a gentle smile, motioning to the angel in her hands.

To his surprise, Kate shook her head no and pushed past him.

At first, he thought that he had overstepped and she was going to go run off, but then he noticed that she was walking over to where Alexis stood.

"Alexis?" Kate asked quietly.

"Hm?" the young teenager asked, turning to face the detective.

"I want you to have this." She said, holding out the angel.

Alexis looked down at what Kate was holding and her eyes grew into wide, frantic circles. "Kate, I can't take that, that's yours and your mom's."

"Alexis, I want you to have it. My great grandma passed it on to my grandma, my grandma passed it on to my mom, and then my mom passed it on to me. It's a tradition in our family to pass it on to our first daughter." Kate explained.

"But I'm not your daughter." Alexis said in a shaky voice.

"Maybe not biologically, but if there is one thing I learned in the past couple of days, family isn't necessarily those who share your blood with you, but those who share the memories. I know that I can never take the place of Meredith, and I never want to, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't do anything for you, no matter what it is. I love you, Alexis, and that is why I want you to have this, so that one day you can pass it on to your daughter, and she can pass it on to hers." Kate said, tears now forming in her eyes.

"I love you too and I would be honored." Alexis said as she wrapped Kate in a hug.

Breaking away from Alexis to watch her put the angel on the top of the tree, she took a step back only to feel Castle's arms snake around her waist as he brought his mouth to her ear.

"You are absolutely extraordinary and I have no words to describe what you just did, means to me. I love you so much." Castle said, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"I love you too, Castle. Forever and always." Kate said,

When Alexis finally placed the angel on the tree, she came over to join Kate and Castle along with Martha. Just like the day before, Castle turned off all the lights for the loft, flipping on the switch for the decorations surrounding the loft along with the tree before coming back over to take in the tree.

"What do you think?" Castle asked as he took in the tree.

"I think it's perfect, just like us." Kate said with a smile, tilting her head to place a kiss on his jaw.

They fell into silence once again, just staring at the beauty before them.

"Castle?" Kate asked, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?" he hummed.

"Thank you." Kate said.

"For what?" Castle asked.

"For bringing back the magic."

* * *

**A/N: **I'm not sure on this chapter, I was going to focus more on the tree part, but I realized that I've never gone shopping for a Christmas tree so I had no idea what was involved, so then I decided I was going to focus on the decorating the tree as a family thing, but then I realized I have no idea what that's like either. We all have our own boxes of ornaments and just put them up when we get the chance so I hope I did this chapter justice.

Please leave reviews! I know its petty to ask, but I have no idea if I am on the right track if I don't know what my readers think.

Thank you and enjoy!


	79. Chapter 79

Chapter 79:

The rest of the week went by pretty quickly. Because Castle wanted to make sure that Kate realized that the magic of Christmas had more to do with the family she spent it with rather than what they actually did, Castle didn't plan anything relatively big during the week. Esposito, Ryan, and Lanie had to work every day that week before they got the next three off. When Alexis wasn't at school, she was working at the morgue with Lanie, trying to get as many hours in as she could before she left, or studying for the couple of finals that she had left. Castle had no idea what Martha was up to, but she was in and out of the loft all week. That being said, even though he didn't want to do anything big, he still made sure to do small things between Kate and him.

On Monday, not having anything to do, it wasn't until almost noon when they woke up. Deciding that they both just wanted to stay in and relax, Castle made them a big breakfast and they curled up on the couch, watching movies all day, only moving when Alexis finally came home and decided that she could use a break and joined them.

On Tuesday, Castle, knowing that one of the things Kate loved most about Christmas was going to help out at the soup kitchen, took her to the local children's hospital where they spent the day going room to room, bringing presents to the young boys and girls who wouldn't have otherwise gotten anything because of the large amount of hospital bills they were racking up. Kate didn't stop smiling the entire time, bringing so much joy to the little boys and girls as she told them about being a police officer. By the end of the day, Castle found that somehow over the course of the day, Kate had brought more magic into his life rather than the other way around and he was pretty sure he fell in love with her all over again.

On Wednesday, Castle had meetings at Black Pawn for most of the day. Not wanting to leave Kate alone, he got Maddie's phone number out of Kate's phone while she was in the shower and gave her a call. When he got home later that night, he found Kate curled up on the couch, reading one of his books with a huge smile on her face and then she proceeded to tell him all about her day and how great it was to catch up with her high school friend.

Thursday was Castle's favorite. He had to get a few chapters done on his book because he was quickly falling behind. A couple of hours later, he emerged from the office to find Kate in the kitchen, streaks of flour all over her face from baking cookies that she was planning to pass out to the neighbors and everyone at the precinct. Realizing that she didn't know that he was there since he had her back turned to him, he quietly snuck up to her, coating his hands in the flour that was sitting on the counter before leaving two large handprints on her black yoga pants right on her ass. What started off as an innocent joke, quickly turned heated and before either one of them knew what was happening, clothes were being discarded and Castle was bringing her over the edge right there on the floor of the kitchen, and the stairs, and the couch, and his desk, and against the bedroom door, and in the shower before they finally collapsed in bed, the cookies forgotten in the kitchen as they drifted off to sleep.

On Friday, they finished baking the cookies when they woke up and were greeted with the mess they left last night before packaging them and paying the precinct a visit, even getting a smile out of Gates when they left her a tin of her favorite cookies.

The week couldn't have gone more perfect if he tried, well they could have probably found a better place to partake in their activities than the floor and the stairs, Castle was definitely still sore from that, but he wasn't complaining.

When Castle woke up on Saturday morning, he propped himself up on his elbow, watching Kate sleeping peacefully next to him, the morning light slowly creeping over her beautiful body. Deciding that he would let her sleep a little bit longer, he got up and made his way into the shower to get ready for the day ahead of him.

He wasn't going to lie, he was extremely nervous, especially about Kate's reaction once she found out what he had done. He was pretty sure that she wasn't going to be mad at him, especially when they had, on more than one occasion, discussed both aspects of what he had planned and he knew that she wanted both, but there was a very good chance that it could be too much and she could get overwhelmed and when Kate got overwhelmed she ran and shut down and that would take everything he had managed to accomplish this past week and set it back two steps.

But it was too late to turn back now and knowing that he had the support of all their friends and family and that they would all be there to try and make this as easy as possible for Kate gave him a confidence boost and he approached his shower with a new vigor, ready to start the day.

Stepping out of the shower, he threw on a pair of boxers, a pair of faded jeans that he knew Kate liked on him, and a blue button up shirt before making his way back into the bedroom.

Kate was still sleeping so he decided that he was going to go make her some breakfast and bring it to her in bed, wanting her to be as relaxed as possible, but he was just putting the bacon on the pan when he heard the water kick on in his bathroom which meant that Kate was up and would shortly make an appearance.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later, Kate trotted out of the bedroom, hair falling in slight waves around her shoulders right as Castle placed the last of her breakfast on her plate.

"Good morning." He said, placing a chaste kiss on her lips before handing her a cup of coffee and her plate before going to get his own and joining her at the table.

"Good morning. Are you going to tell me what we are doing today or are you going to keep up your 'it's a surprise' approach?" Kate asked as she dug into her breakfast.

"Oh, it's definitely going to be a surprise." Castle said with a smirk.

Too nervous to have small conversation, Castle decided it would be best if he stayed quiet, something that didn't slip Kate's notice and he could tell that his nerves were rubbing off on her and she was becoming nervous as she probably started to over think things about what was going on today.

Luckily, there was a knock on the door before she could question him any further and Castle sprain up, glad to get away from that look she gave you when she was about to go all badass detective on you.

Opening the door, he was glad to be met with the familiar faces of Esposito, Lanie, Ryan, and Jenny who were all there to help convince Kate to go along with the whole blind fold surprise idea.

"Hey girl, you ready for today?" Lanie asked as she brushed past Castle and into the loft, followed by everyone else.

"I would be more ready if I knew what was going on." Kate said, shooting a glare at Castle.

"Relax Becks, you are going to love it." Esposito said, trying to reassure her but instead it made her more skeptical.

"You all know?" Kate asked.

"Girl, stop with the looks. Of course we know. Writer boy knows how much you hate surprises so he brought in reinforcements. Just try and remember that you are the one who decided you wanted Castle to be in charge of this whole Christmas thing and from what I hear, it's been pretty good so far." Lanie said with a wink.

"What have you heard?" Kate asked, suddenly suspicious of the ME.

"Let's just say that your daughter," Lanie said, looking at Castle, "came home to quiet the mess in the kitchen and was complaining about you not cleaning up your mess. Luckily she didn't catch on, but I for one, know that Kate Beckett would never leave a messy kitchen unless she was otherwise distracted and guessing by the blush on your face, I am correct in my assumptions. Now let's get this show on the road!" Lanie said, clapping her hands together in excitement.

Making her way to the door, Kate put on her coat and turned to open the door expecting everyone to follow, but when she didn't hear their footsteps behind her, she turned around to see Castle standing there, flanked by their friends, holding up a scarf which could only mean one thing.

"Seriously? You want to blind fold me?" Kate asked, exasperated at Castle's antics.

"Please Kate? I promise it's only going to be for a short distance and it will be so worth it when you see why we blindfolded you." Castle asked, giving her his best puppy dog look.

Kate looked from Castle, to Lanie, to Esposito, to Ryan, and finally to Jenny who all seemed to agree with Castle's statement and it was pretty clear that they weren't going anywhere until she allowed them to blindfold her and seeing as how she really wanted to know what they had planned, she had no other choice to concede.

"Fine." She huffed, turning her back to Castle so he could tie the scarf in place.

When Castle was satisfied that she couldn't see anything, they all led her out of the apartment and into the car where they quickly began their journey to their destination.

It was close to fifteen minutes later when she felt the car come to a stop and the doors open before someone had their hands on her arm, guiding her out of the car.

"Can I take this dumb blindfold off yet?" Kate asked, slightly annoyed.

"Not yet, but almost." Castle said from right behind her, which meant that he was the one guiding her.

They continued walking for about a hundred more feet before Kate felt herself being pulled to a stop.

"Okay, I'm going to untie the blindfold now." Castle said, his voice a little shaky with nerves as he began to loosen the knot.

It took her eyes a couple of minutes to adjust once the scarf was removed from her eyes, but when her eyes finally adjusted, she took in the sight before her.

They were obviously at the Rockefeller Center Ice Rink and it was absolutely packed, except it was packed with people she knew. She could see Alexis zooming around on the ice with her friends, she saw her dad talking with Martha with a steaming cup of coffee in hand. It looked like the entire 12th precinct was their, including Gates, along with a large number of people she recognized as the people in Castle's circle. As the confusion set in as to why so many people she knew were here, she went to turn to question which was when her eyes caught the sign and it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her.

Hanging under the sign for the ice rink was another banner that red "Johanna Beckett's Memorial Scholarship Event: All proceeds will be put towards that scholarship in honor of Johanna Beckett."

Turning around, eyes wide and frantic, she searched Castle's eyes for an explanation.

"Take a deep breath. I know that ice skating was one of the things that you loved to do with your mom, and we never got the chance to actually hold the fundraiser for her because of the certain events that happened, so I thought what better way to raise money for the scholarship than at a place she absolutely loved so I made a few phone calls. I originally just planned for it to be us six and my mother and daughter and your father, but the mayor got wind of it through someone and then somehow the precinct found out and it turned into this big spectacular. Everyone wanted to help. It's barely noon and we have already raised enough money to give five students a scholarship." Castle said with a smile.

"You did this? All this just for me?" Kate asked in a whisper.

"I did this for you and for your mother and I would do it again. You are definitely worth it." Castle said, wrapping her in his arms.

"Thank you." Kate whispered.

"Always. Now what do you say we go get some skates and get this party started?" Castle said pulling back to look at her.

Kate just nodded which Castle grin even wider as he dragged her over to get some skates before pulling her onto the rink.

In a matter of no time, all the worries that both Castle and Kate had about today were wiped away as they zoomed around the rink, hand in hand, cheeks flushed from the cold, laughing and occasionally sharing a kiss or two.

Little did they know, they were being watched. Jim stood over on the edge of the rink, a warm coffee in his hands, his heart warming with joy and for the first time since his wife died, the pure happiness this season brought to their lives.

He had no idea how it happened, but he sent up a silent prayer thanking whoever was responsible for bringing this man into their lives and bringing back his daughter's happiness.

He had a feeling that his Johanna had something to do with it, after all, she always had a thing for Richard Castle.

**A/N: **Please review and I hope you enjoyed!


	80. Chapter 80

Chapter 80:

Castle was pouring himself a cup of coffee in his travel mug, getting ready to leave when Kate came padding out of the bedroom, still half asleep.

Castle watched her with a slight smirk on his face as she blindly stumbled her way across the living room and into the kitchen, her eyes still closed against the bright morning sunshine, barely able to make her way up onto the bar stool before she laid her head down on her arms, probably intent on going right back to sleep.

"Can I just say how absolutely adorable you are when you are still half asleep." Castle said, his smirk clear in his voice.

"Shut up and get me some coffee." Kate mumbled.

He was pretty sure that she would be shooting him a death glare if she had the energy to lift her head up.

Grabbing a mug, he placed in front of her before deciding that this was probably an emergency caffeine morning and swapped it out for her larger mug before filling it with coffee.

It took a few seconds for the smell to reach Kate's senses, but the moment it did, her head popped up as her hands snaked out and grabbed the mug, taking a large gulp like it was a lifeline.

"I feel like I should just call Lanie and have her set up a permanent IV that constantly pumps coffee into your blood stream, if you even have blood anymore, it might just be coffee by now." Castle said with a chuckle.

This time Kate did manage to shoot him a glare, she must be waking up.

"Where are you going?" she asked as she took another big sip of coffee, noticing that he was dressed and had the travel mug he only used when he was going somewhere in hand.

"I have to run some errands. You were dead to the world when I woke up, so I figured I would make it home before you managed to drag yourself out of bed." Castle explained.

"Yeah, well I can't sleep when you're not there." Kate said.

"Oh really?" Castle said, the smug smile reappearing on his face.

"Shut up. I know that you can't sleep without me there either." Kate said, ignoring the look on his face like she just told him she had a card board cut out of him hidden in her closest as a teenager, which she did, but she would never tell him that.

"I'm not in any way denying that I can't sleep without you, but I never thought I would live to see the day when you admitted it outright. Yes, I had my suspicions when you showed up at my door every time we tried to spend the night apart, but I never expected you to tell me." Castle said, his grin growing even wider.

"You better not tell anyone or you will be sorry." Kate said, giving him her best Detective Beckett glare, which really lost all of its bite when it was interrupted by a yawn.

"I don't think anyone would believe me if I told them, so your secret is safe with me." Castle said, his smile not faltering.

Kate watched him curiously, her eyebrows furrowing together. "Is it really that hard to believe that I need you?" she asked, a little dejected that he didn't believe her.

"Oh, Kate, no, that's not what I'm surprised about. I know that you need me, I have no doubts about that just like you have no doubts that I need you, it was just a little surprising that you actually said it instead of showing it. It just caught me off guard, that's all." Castle said.

Kate seemed to accept that explanation, but still seemed frustrated. She had that look on her face that she got when she knew what she wanted to say, but didn't know how to say it.

Finally, she let out a frustrated sigh and met Castle's eyes. "I don't want to be that kind of person with you. I don't want to just be able to show you that I need you, I want to be able to tell you that I need you too, even if it's just every once in awhile." She explained.

"Kate, it really doesn't bother me." Castle said, stepping across the counter to pull her into a hug.

"I know it doesn't, and I'm really thankful for that, that you know these things even if I'm not able to tell you, but I want to tell you, so just stay quiet while I say this okay?" Kate asked.

"Okay." Castle said as Kate sat back on her chair, but kept her arms wrapped around his waist.

"I need you, Rick. I've needed you for awhile now, even before we got together. That was the main reason I refused to acknowledge what we had because I knew how much I needed you and if things went wrong between us, I knew that there was no going back and I couldn't handle losing you. I need you like I need oxygen. When I'm with you, I just want to be with you even more, when we are apart the only thing I can think of is getting back to you. It's even gotten noticeable. When I was at the spa the other day, the only thing I could think of was getting home to you, even Lanie noticed. It even carries over to when we are asleep. I love falling asleep in your arms, I feel so warm and safe and when you're not there, it doesn't matter how tired I am, I just can't fall asleep no matter how hard I try because it's like you are part of me. You have literally worked your way so far into my heart that I can't function if you aren't there. That's how much I need you." Kate finished, her eyes wet with unshed tears.

"Wow, are you sure you don't work for Hallmark?" Castle asked, injecting a little humor to lessen some of the seriousness in the room.

Kate slapped his chest, but gave him a watery chuckle which let him know that he succeeded.

Pulling her back into his chest, he gave her a kiss on the head. "It's the same for me, Kate, it's always been the same for me. That's why I kept coming back, no matter what happened, that's why I kept coming back even when you were with Demming and Josh, even when I thought you were marrying Josh and kicked me out of the precinct, because no matter how much that hurt, it hurt more not to have you in my life at all." Castle said.

"I'm sorry about that. I definitely didn't handle it in the best manner." Kate said.

"Neither of us handled things very well in the past, but I love you and you love me and that's all that matters. Plus, it doesn't hurt that I get to see your smoking hot naked body on a daily basis." Castle said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Charming." Kate said with an amused look in her eyes.

"I try." Castle said, leaning forward to capture her lips with his.

When they broke away, Castle rested his forehead against hers with a sigh.

"I am going to feel really bad leaving now." Castle said.

"I know, but unfortunately we can't spend every second of our life together no matter how much we want to." Kate said, reaching up to run her thumb across his frown lines.

"I could always get a pair of handcuffs and throw the key into the middle of the Hudson, and then we really would be forced to stay together for every second of every day." Castle said with a smile.

"I think that's taking it a bit overboard, even for you. Now go. The sooner you get going, the sooner you get home." Kate said, sliding off the chair and pushing him towards the door.

When they got to the door and Castle managed to pull on his coat, all with a pout on his face, Kate grabbed the lapels of his coat and pulled him in for a searing kiss.

"What was that for?" Castle choked out when she pulled away.

"That is incentive for you to get home as fast as possible so you can find out just how much I'm going to miss you." Kate said with a seductive smile.

"Maybe I should just stay home." Castle said, definitely not wanting to leave after that.

"Nope." Kate said, pulling him in for another kiss. "You have to leave in order to experience the hot, I missed you sex."

"You are an evil woman, evil, evil, evil." Castle growled as he pulled the door open.

"I know, but you love me anyway." Kate said with a smile.

"And you love me." Castle said with a huge smile.

"Always." Kate said, giving him one more kiss before shutting the door.

As soon as Kate closed the door on him, he realized that he left his coffee cup on the counter, but he knew that if he went back in there, he was never going to be able to leave, so he just turned and made his way to the elevator.

Castle was meeting Jim for lunch in an hour to pick up some things that he needed for Kate's Christmas present that Jim graciously gathered for him, but first he had to stop at the jewelers.

He got the call this morning that the ring was done and ready to be picked up. He had originally planned to have Lanie or Alexis take Kate out for a few hours so he didn't have to worry about her seeing it while he found a place to hide it, but he figured that since he was already meeting Jim for lunch, it wouldn't hurt to kill two birds with one stone and ask for Jim's permission to ask Kate to marry him.

Surprisingly, he wasn't all that nervous. He had his suspicions that Jim suspected that Castle would pay him that visit sooner rather than later, especially with the knowing looks he shot Castle's way when they were decorating the house. Plus, he already knew that he had Jim's approval, but he wanted to do this right. This was it for him and he wanted to make sure that he did it the way you are supposed to do it, not like he did with Meredith and Gina.

Pulling up in front of the jewelers, he made his way inside and up to the counter.

"Hi. I got a call this morning that the engagement ring I had ordered was ready to be picked up." Castle said to the young lady behind the counter.

"Of course, Mr. Castle right?" she asked with a smile.

"That's me." Castle said, watching the girl give a nod as she disappeared through a door momentarily, coming back a few minutes later with a small, blue velvet box.

"Here you go, Mr. Castle." she said, handing him the box.

Castle opened the box to look at the ring, carefully extracting it from its perch to inspect it further.

Castle couldn't help but smile. It was perfect and screamed Kate and he had a feeling that she was going to love the inscription that read "Always" even more than he did.

"It's perfect. Is there anything else I need to do or is everything taken care of?" Castle asked.

"Nope, you paid when you originally ordered it so you are good to go. Good luck!" she said with a smile.

"Thank you." Castle said with a smile as he put the ring back in the box, stuffing it securely in his pocket as he turned to exit the shop.

As he made his way across town towards the diner Jim told him to meet him at, Castle couldn't help put stick his hand in his pocket, running his thumb across the velvet box.

This was really happening, he was going to ask Kate Beckett to marry him knowing that this was it for him, knowing that this was it for her, if she said yes of course, but he had a feeling that she would.

As he parked his car in front of the diner and made his way inside, he couldn't help the huge grin that had taken permanent residence on his face, something that didn't escape Jim's notice.

"Hey Rick." Jim said as Castle approached the table.

"Hey Jim, thanks for meeting me." Castle said, as he shook the man's hand and sat down.

"No problem. I had all the pictures digitalized a few years back, so everything you need should be on there and it will probably be easier to sort through. Mind telling me why you needed the pictures? On the phone you just mentioned needing them for something involving Katie's Christmas present." Jim said.

"Kate mentioned to me that all of the pictures she had of her and her mom were destroyed when her apartment blew up and she never got new ones. She didn't directly come out and say it, but I could tell that having those pictures were pretty important to her and she missed having them. So I decided that for Christmas, I'm going to give her two scrapbooks. One is going to be filled with pictures of her and Johanna so she has something to look through when she is missing her mom and the other is going to be blank. I have a picture of the entire gang from the 12th that I'm going to put in the front and then explain to her that the blank scrapbook is for her new memories, to fill with pictures from the life she is living." Castle explained.

"I think that is a great idea and I'm sure that Katie will love it. She would spend hours looking through old photo albums after her mom died. I'm glad that Johanna decided to keep up with those. I never really understood why she did all that work until after she was gone." Jim said.

"Yeah, I did the same thing for Alexis. I have at least three full scrapbooks full of all the pictures we have taken over the years." Castle said.

As the two men fell silent, Jim noticed that the smile hadn't wavered from Rick's face since he got there, and he was pretty sure it had to with something other than the scrapbooks.

"Alright Rick, what's going on? You've been smiling like an idiot since you've got here. I'm not expecting a grandchild, am I?" Jim asked, chuckling slightly when Castle started to choke on the sip of coffee he just took.

"What? No, Kate is not pregnant, well at least I don't think she is… she hasn't told me if she is." Castle spluttered.

Jim just laughed. "Relax Rick, I was just kidding. Even if she was, I've always wanted grandchildren. But back to my point, would you like to share what's got you so happy?"

Castle's grin grew even wider as he reached into his pocket, pulling out the velvet box, sliding it across the table to Jim.

"I was going to ask for your permission, but seeing as how you basically just told me that you would like grandchildren, I'm guessing I've already got it." Castle said with a chuckle.

Jim flipped open the box and immediately smiled, the ring was so Katie. Not too flashy, but still perfect. Sliding it out of the box, he noticed the inscription when the light caught it.

"Always?" he asked the writer.

"It's sort of our thing. I think it started when we reached the point where we both were pretty much sure of what was between us, but still refused to admit it. It was our promise to each other that no matter what happened, we would always be there for each other and we would have each other's backs. Always." Castle said.

"It was your way of saying I love you without actually saying I love you." Jim said, knowingly.

"Pretty much." Castle said.

"She is going to love it, and like you said before, you have had my permission for a long time, possibly before you even realized that you wanted to take this step with Katie. You're good for her and you make her happy. Any man that is willing to sacrifice everything they have worked so hard to build for my daughter, is more than good enough for my daughter." Jim said, sliding the ring back to Castle.

"Thank you. I can't tell you how much that means to me." Castle said.

"Do you know when you are going to do it yet?" Jim asked.

"Not yet. I want to wait until we get the whole 'Alexis going to college' thing settled before we take the next step, but it's definitely going to be soon. With each day that passes it gets harder and harder not to just blurt it out and ask her. If I wasn't absolutely sure that there would be a long line of people who would kill me, I would take her to the court house as soon as possible to make it official." Castle said.

"I think Katie would be one of those people in line to kill you." Jim said.

"I'm pretty sure she would too. She always told me she was never the type to look through the bridal magazines as a child, tearing out pictures of wedding dresses, but I know that deep down, she is a hopeless romantic." Castle said with a smile.

"I think you're right. As much as I would love to stay and chat, I have some plans for the rest of the day and I'm pretty sure that Katie is probably pacing around the loft, trying to convince you that she's not missing you right now and would be more than delighted to get you back home." Jim said as he stood up, pulling on his coat.

"Thank you sir and as much as I would like to deny it, I miss her too." Castle said with a slightly embarrassed grin.

"I would tell you to treat my daughter right, but I have no doubt in my mind that you will continue to do anything and everything you can to make sure she is safe and happy." Jim said extending his hand.

"You have my word. Have a good day." Castle said with a nod.

Castle stood there, watching Jim exit the diner before making his way to the counter to pay and make his way home.

Twenty minutes later, he slipped into the loft and his jaw instantly dropped.

Standing there before him was Kate wearing nothing but a black lace bra and matching panties and a pair of four inch fuck me heels.

He was a lucky, lucky man.

* * *

**A/N: **Here you go:) So Castle's got his permission from the father, the only thing left is getting down on one knee;)

It's up to you guys, I can either continue on and show you exactly what Kate has in mind with this outfit or you can all use your imagination and I'll move on to the next day.

Let me know and please review!


	81. Chapter 81

Chapter 81:

Kate would give anything for a camera right now. The look on his face is far better than she imagined.

He was still standing in the entry way where he first caught sight of her, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, eyes wide with surprise at what he was seeing, like he couldn't believe that he was seeing it.

She wasn't going to lie, it sent a thrill coursing through her body that she had the ability to render him speechless after all this time, after all, the outfit she had on was nothing he hadn't seen before.

"Like what you see?" Kate asked, an eyebrow raised with a slight smirk on her face.

"I- uh- uhm- wow." Castle choked out, his pants already uncomfortably tight.

With a smirk, Kate walked towards him, running her hands up his chest before reaching to take off his coat. When he felt something heavy brush against his leg, he remembered that he had the engagement ring in his pocket and there was a good chance she would find it if he didn't put it somewhere safe.

"Hold that thought and don't move." Castle said as he slipped around her and practically ran into his office.

Kate didn't know whether to be annoyed or confused that he just left her standing there when she was clearly trying to seduce her, but before she had the chance to think about it, Castle returned and she decided not to question it.

Taking his hand she led him over to the couch, stripping him of his coat before she pushed him down on the couch.

"If this is what I get when I leave, I think I might have to leave more often." Castle growled as he very obviously leered at her, his jeans becoming uncomfortably tight at the sight of her standing over him practically naked.

"I don't know." Kate said as she straddled him, grinding right against his erection as she leaned down so their lips were inches apart. "I think it would lose all of its appeal if you got a taste of this too often, don't you." she asked, her voice dripping with seduction.

"Never." Castle growled as he closed the distance between them, drawing a moan out of her when he took advantage of her gasp of surprise, his tongue immediately finding hers.

When air became a necessity, Kate broke away, but instantly made her way to his neck, grinding her hips against his erection again, which made him growl in pleasure as he reached down to grab her hips and still them.

"Kate, as great as that feels, this is going to be over embarrassingly fast if you keep doing that." Castle growled, his eyes closed as he tried to regain some control.

"We can't have that, can we?" Kate asked, sitting back so she could run her hands over his chest, leaning forward again to place a kiss on the little bit of exposed skin the V in his button up created.

With a mischievous grin, Kate slid off of Castle's lap so she was now kneeling between his legs as she reached up to start unbuttoning his shirt.

With each new button she undid, she would push the two sides of his shirt aside before leaning down to suck and nip on his chest, making sure to thoroughly mark him before moving onto the next one.

She absolutely loved the way that he would arch into him every time her mouth met his warm skin. She could feel his straining erection against her stomach and every time it twitched against his jeans, Kate would hum in contentment at knowing exactly what she was doing to him which in turn would make Castle moan at the vibrations against his skin.

When she finally unbuttoned the last button, she ran her hands up his chest, her mouth following in wet, hot kisses. When she came level with his chest, she took each of his nipples in her mouth, swirling her tongue around each one with a little nip before continuing upwards to capture his mouth with hers in a searing kiss as she pushed his shirt all the way off of him so he was sitting there in nothing but his jeans, his hard cock very noticeable against his jeans.

Breaking the kiss, she sat back on her knees again, trailing her hands down to the waistline of his jeans where she promptly went to work on his belt buckle and then the button on his jeans. After pulling the zipper down, she grabbed two of the belt loops, pulling them down when Castle lifted his hips so that he was now sitting there in nothing but blue silk boxers, his erection now even more prominent against his strained clothing.

Reaching out, Kate ran her hand along his length, loving the way he took a sharp intake of breath, his eyes slamming shut, his breathing deep as he tries to control himself.

Grabbing the waistline of his boxers, she pulled them down, sliding them past his waist so that his erection quite literally sprang free, standing at attention against his stomach.

Throwing his boxers off to the side to join the rest of her clothes, she took his length in her hand, giving him one good pump before she looked up and made eye contact with him.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but when she made eye contact, her breath hitched when she saw that Castle was looking down at her with nothing but pure lust and desire, a new wave of arousal shooting through her body and settling between her already soaked legs.

Without breaking eye contact, she took the tip of his head in her mouth, sucking lightly on it as her tongue ran along the tip before she released him with a pop as she proceeded to run her tongue slowly down the length of him and back up again, his breath hitching when she took him back in her mouth, this time taking as much in as she could as she started to move up and down in a slow rhythm.

"Kate…" Castle moaned as he reached down, pulling her mouth away from his throbbing member. "I can't take anymore of that, I'm so close and you aren't even undressed yet."

"Castle." Kate said, reaching out to give his cock a good stroke, chuckling when his eyes went wide and his hands clutched the edge of the couch. "Relax and go with it. I want to do this and I have no doubts about your response time."

"You are going to kill me woman." Castle said when she gave him a rather suggestive wink as she licked her lips before leaning forward and taking him back into her mouth, moving up and down slowly at first before she set a steady rhythm. Unable to stand the tension coiling in her abdomen, she spread her legs apart slightly, reaching down to push her soaked panties aside as her fingers found her swollen clit, rubbing against it in fast, small circles, the sensations causing her to moan.

When Castle felt the vibrations against the head of his cock, his eyes flew open and when he saw that her hand had disappeared between her legs, he could feel his cock begin to pulsate at the mere thought of her touching herself.

"Kate… I'm so close… I can't hold on much longer." Castle grunted, trying to pull away, unsure that she would want him to release into her mouth, but when he felt her hand tighten around him, holding him in place, he abandoned his previous thoughts as he tangled his hand in her hair as he began to thrust into her mouth as his release built and built, the rooms filled with the sounds of his grunts.

Knowing that he was closed, Kate let go of his erection with the hand that had been holding it, knowing his thrusts would keep it in her mouth and reached down, unhooking the clasp on her bra, quickly throwing it aside before bringing her hand back to her breasts, alternating between each one, twisting and tweaking on her pebbled nipples, her moans coming far more frequently as she began to fall over the edge.

Castle could tell the moment that her orgasm washed over her, because instead of the varying vibrations against his cock, it became one long moan. The new sensation of the constant vibration pushed him over the edge, and with one final thrust, he released himself into Kate's mouth who expertly swallowed every last drop, cleaning off the head of his cock before releasing it with a pop, both of them gasping for breath.

Even though they both just climaxed, they knew that neither one of them were close to being satisfied, if anything, their climax only managed to increase the arousal coursing through their bodies.

When Castle looked down at Kate to see her cheeks flushed, her hair a tangled mess from his hands being tangled in it, and her eyes completely dilated, leaving nothing back darkness, it took everything in him not to pick her up right there, and bury himself deep inside her, letting her ride him until they were both screaming out each other's names, but when it came to Kate, he got as much pleasure giving as receiving.

Reaching down he pulled Kate up so she was once again straddling him, as he brought her down into a lazy, gentle kiss.

What started off as slow, quickly turned heated, especially when Kate unconsciously ground her hips into him, sending all his mouth south as his cock twitched against her which caused her to chuckle into his mouth.

Breaking away from him, she looked at him with a mixture of amusement and what he could only categorize as pride residing in her eyes.

"See, I told you I had no doubts about your response time." Kate said as she rubbed her core against him again, his cock now fully erect with the feeling of her pressed against him.

"What can I say, you have no idea what you do to me." Castle said as he reached up to gently massage her breasts, causing her to throw her head back in a breathy moan.

"Oh, I think I know exactly what I do to you judging by the fact that I can feel Little Rick pressing against me right now, ready to go." Kate said.

Castle growled, wrapping his arms around her waist to keep her from falling back as he sat up on the edge of the couch.

"Little Rick?" he asked as he leaned forward and began nipping at her collarbone, knowing that she couldn't resist him when he worked his mouth over the skin there.

"Big. Definitely Big Rick." She said, feeling exactly how big he was as he pressed more firmly against her with this new position.

With a deep chuckle, Castle swiftly tightened his hold on her as he quickly stood up and turned so Kate was now the one sitting on the couch and Castle was kneeling on the floor in front of her, her legs wrapped around his waist.

"That's much better." Castle said as he began trailing a line of kisses down her neck to the crevice between her breasts before closing his mouth around one of breasts, sucking gently as his tongue flicked over her nipple before moving over to the other one and doing the same until Kate was panting with satisfaction as he reached down, pulling her panties off of her and tossing them somewhere in the room.

"Castle… I need you… in me…" Kate panted as he lightly took her nipple between his teeth, lightly scraping upwards.

"Not yet. I plan to give you the same treatment you gave me." Castle said with a twinkle in his eyes as he edged himself backwards a little, kissing down her stomach, only stopping when he realized that he couldn't reach where he wanted with the way Kate was sitting.

Reaching forward, he grabbed her hips, shifting her slightly so she was propped up on her elbows on more of an angle, her ass resting right at the edge of the couch, one leg resting bent on the couch while the other fell onto the floor, effectively opening her soaking wet center to him.

Making eye contact with Kate just like she did with him, Castle leaned forward, running his tongue through her arousal, his erection throbbing painfully when as he watched her throw her head back as her eyes rolled backwards, her mouth parting slightly in a silent moan.

Not able to resist any longer, Castle leaned forward again, closing his mouth around her clit, creating suction as his tongue expertly flicked against her, causing Kate's back to arch as a rather loud moan she had been trying to hold back escaped, sending Castle into a new frenzy at the sound.

When he noticed her move her hands to her breasts again, he knew that she was close, but needed more, so without faltering the speed of his mouth working against her, he inserted two fingers into her entrance, curling them slightly as he began to thrust in and out of her.

As soon as he inserted a third finger, he instantly felt her clench around him as her back arched, her mouth wide with a silent moan as she shattered around him.

Castle slowly worked Kate down from her high, only removing his fingers from inside of her when the aftershocks of her orgasm subsided before he pulled her up, off the couch, readjusting them once again so she was straddling him once more, the tip of his cock pressing at her entrance.

Knowing that they had both teased each other enough today, he shifted his hips slightly, which effectively pushed him all the way inside of her.

No matter how many times they did this, he would never get used to the feeling of her surrounding him like a glove made just for him. The sensations it created were tantalizing and he hadn't even started moving yet.

Adjusting himself slightly so he had more purchase on the floor for when he inevitably couldn't control the bucking of his hips.

When Kate was fully adjusted to him, she began to move up and down on him and Castle swore in that moment that there was nothing more beautiful and sexy than looking up to the sight of Kate Beckett riding him, her hands grasping at her breasts, her eyes closed, mouth parted slightly at the feeling of him moving inside of her.

When the slow pace became too much for both of them as the sensations created a slow burn of fire that was coursing through their veins, Castle grabbed her hips, holding her in place as he adjusted his footing and began thrusting into her at a frenzied pace.

Unable to hold herself up at this pace because of the sensations running through her body, Kate leaned forward bracing herself against the back of the couch with her hands which brought her breasts directly in front of Castle's face which he of course, took advantage of, latching onto her breast as he continued to thrust in and out of her, his legs slapping against hers quite loudly.

Castle knew that he was there, knew that all he had to do was relax and he would empty himself into her, but he remained in control, waiting for Kate to reach her climax because the feeling of her clenching around him during her climax while he climaxed was something that couldn't be described.

When he felt her walls clench around him as her orgasm coursed through her body, he thrust into her one more time before burying himself as deep as he could as he released into her, the pulsating of her walls milking every last drop out of him.

When her orgasm finally subsided, she collapsed against him, burying her face into his neck as she went limp with satisfaction.

He wasn't sure if they sat there, still joined together, for five minutes or an hour, but when he felt Kate press a kiss to his neck, he knew that she wasn't trying to start things again, but telling him to take her to bed.

Scooting himself to the edge of the couch, he stood up, adjusting Kate so he was caring her bridal style as he carried her into the bedroom, setting her gently down on the bed where she immediately buried her face into the pillow.

Quickly going back into the living room, he grabbed their clothes, knowing that his mother and daughter would not want to come home to their clothes thrown around the living room before he went back into the bedroom, dropping their clothes on the floor by the bathroom before climbing into bed, pulling Kate against him where she immediately tangled herself around him like she did every night as they drifted off to sleep, smile on their face.

The last thing Castle could remember thinking before he gave into the exhaustion was that he definitely needed to spend some more time away from Kate.

* * *

**A/N: **Well there you go ladies and gentleman! Smut, smut, smut:) I hope you enjoyed and I did this scene justice.

Please review!


	82. Chapter 82

Chapter 82:

It was no secret that Kate Beckett was rather skeptical. After her mom died, she was convinced that eventually, all good things would come to an end, that there was no such thing as happy endings.

That was one of the main reasons that she had tried to keep her distance from Castle, especially after she began to develop feelings for him, after she realized that if she lost him, she wouldn't survive that. So she did everything she could to keep him at arms length whether it was dating other men or kicking him out of the precinct, but no matter what she did, no matter how hard she pushed, he pushed right back and was always there for her even when she thought that she didn't want him there and eventually she realized that there was such a thing as a happily ever after, you just have to be willing to risk your heart to get it. Sure, it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but just because bad things happen in the world, doesn't mean that you should stop living your life, stop allowing yourself to be happy, so she took the plunge and it was one of the best decisions she ever made, even if it was almost too late.

But even then, she still was a bit skeptical. The first time she woke up in his arms, she glanced at his sleeping form and she felt a wave of happiness and contentment wash over her as she watched him sleep, so adorable and peaceful like a little boy. Normally, she would go back to sleep, not wanting to face the awkward morning after moment that always occurred, but the feelings that were coursing through her were so wonderful that she just wanted to bask in them as long as she could, convinced that eventually, these feelings would fade over time, that she wouldn't feel this way every time she woke up.

Boy was she wrong.

If anything, the joy and happiness she felt the first time she woke up with Castle only increased with each passing day and this morning was no different.

When she woke up, knowing that Castle was still asleep, she rolled over onto her stomach so her head was resting on his stomach, allowing her to look up at him.

Sleeping Castle was one of her favorites. He was so peaceful and looked like an innocent little boy, like he didn't follow her around in a world filled with death every single day, like they haven't faced death far too many times only to narrowly escape.

Reaching forward with one hand, Kate began to trace the lines that have permanently etched themselves in his handsome face from all the worry he has had over the year, a small smile on her face when he relaxed even more at her touch, like even in his sleep, he knew that she was there, like he knew that it was her caressing his face and he was perfectly content and happy.

When she noticed him start to wake up, she brought her hand back to rest under her chin, content to watch him wake up.

When his finally opened, he blinked a few times before looking down to see her watching him and a huge smile broke out on his face at the sight of her.

That was her favorite part about waking up with him, the look of pure joy on his face every time he waked up like he is convinced that this is all a dream and he is going to wake up, but when he does, he realizes that this is really happening.

"Good morning, handsome." Kate said with a brilliant smile.

"Good morning, beautiful. What time is it?" Castle asked, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the little bit of sleep still remaining.

"A little bit after nine." Kate said, her smile growing slightly at how adorable he is when he first wakes up.

"Nine? It's too early. Don't get up yet." Castle mumbled.

"I don't think I could if I tried, I'm a bit sore from our activities last night." Kate said with a smirk.

"Oh really?" Castle asked with a cocky grin on his face.

"Wipe that look off your face or last night is going to be the only action you get for awhile." Kate said.

"Whatever you say." Castle said, the smirk only growing wider.

"You don't believe me?" Kate asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Please, you can't keep your hands off of me. Need I remind you that YOU were the one standing practically naked in the living room last night?" Castle said.

Kate just glared, settling for saying nothing because she knew that he had a point. He just looked so damn good and whenever they were alone together she couldn't help herself, she just had to touch him and that touching usually turned into the need to kiss him and before she knew what was happening they were lying on their backs, gasping for breath, completely naked after mind blowing sex.

"That's what I thought." Castle said, leaning forward to pull her up closer to him, placing a kiss on her head before she buried her face in his neck, peppering lazy, good morning kisses on his neck.

Both of them knew that she was only showing affection. He wasn't entirely sure that he could walk now as it was. He definitely knew he wouldn't be able to walk if they went for another round which would most likely turn into two.

"Do you have any plans today?" Kate asked as she snuggled into his warmth.

"Nope. Why?" Castle asked.

"I have to go shopping with Lanie so she can get a Christmas present for Esposito, but I thought that we could have a movie night afterwards? Order some pizza, curl up on the couch in our pajamas?" Kate asked.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. How long are you going to be gone?" Castle asked.

"Probably only a couple of hours, she already knows what she wants to get him, it's just a matter of finding it." Kate said.

"I'll miss you." Castle said, the pout clear in his voice.

"I'll miss you too and as great as last night was, I don't think I need to come home to find you standing in the living room in your boxers, I think we both need a rest." Kate said.

"Normally, I would be up for the challenge, but I have to agree." Castle said. "You take the bathroom, I'll make some coffee. The sooner you leave, the sooner I get to cuddle with you on the couch."

Kate watched as Castle rolled out of bed, scanning his body as he went in search of boxers, waiting until he went into the kitchen to get out of bed and get in the shower.

Fifteen minutes later, she was dressed, coffee in hand, on her way to her friend's house. Why did her friend have to be such a procrastinator?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

As Kate rode the elevator back up to the loft, pizza in hand, she was utterly exhausted. They had to go to six stores before they finally found what Lanie was looking for and it was close to an hour later before she finally decided which of the many varieties she wanted to get for Esposito.

Still tired and sore from the previous night, it only took about a hour an a half before her legs and feet began to protest against the strain of her heels and the only thing she could think of was the couch calling her name with Castle's strong arms surrounding her, his heart beating in a steady rhythm under her head.

The doorman must have called up to let Castle know that she was coming because when she got to the door, Castle was there waiting to take the boxes of pizza from her. He was obviously expecting her to follow him into the kitchen because she didn't miss the confused look on his face when she headed into the bedroom instead, but all she could think about was getting into something comfortable.

Five minutes later, she emerged from the bedroom, wearing an oversized t-shirt and a pair of Castle's sweatpants and the look of confusion lifted from Rick's face and was instead replaced with understanding.

"A little tired there are we?" Castle asked with a gentle smile.

"Exhausted." Kate said as she plopped down on the couch. "And starving." She added, giving him a pointed glare.

Chuckling, Castle grabbed the plates and box of pizza, bringing it over to the couch before going back to the kitchen to get their sodas.

When he turned around to head back to the living room, he laughed at the sight before him.

Kate was obviously too tired or too hungry to deal with plates and had just picked up the box and started eating.

Castle had literally just sat down when they heard the front door to the loft open and then slam shut, an irate Alexis stomping across the living room, up the stairs, and into her bedroom.

With a frustrated sigh as his stomach grumbled due to the scent of pizza making its way towards him, Castle stood back up and made his way to check on Alexis.

It was no more than five minutes later when Castle came down the stairs looking rather angry.

"Is everything alright?" Kate asked.

"I don't know. She doesn't want to talk to me, she wants to talk to you." Castle snapped before heading into his office and shutting the door behind him rather forcefully.

Deciding that it was best to let Castle settle down a little bit so they didn't end up fighting, Alexis made her way upstairs to check on Alexis first.

Twenty minutes later, Kate quietly slipped out of Alexis's room, who had fallen asleep a little bit after the tears stopped and made her way to Castle's study.

"Hey." She said as she leaned against the door of the study.

"Hey." Castle said, looking up with a small smile.

Pushing off the door, Kate walked around the desk standing behind him where she could wrap her arms around him from behind, resting her head on his shoulder.

"What are you looking at?" she asked.

"Pictures from when Alexis was a little girl and still needed me." Castle huffed.

"Rick, she still needs you, there are just some things she can't talk to her dad about, you know that." Kate said.

"I know and I know I'm being stupid, but when she told me that she didn't want to talk to me, it just kind of hit me that she isn't going to be here forever, that she is leaving for college in less than a week and before I know it she is going to start a family of her own. It just kind of hit me that my little girl is all grown up." Castle said as he thumbed through the pictures.

"While it may not seem like it now, I promise you that no matter how old she gets, she is always going to need her dad, I still need my dad sometimes and just like my dad is always there for me when I need him, you will always be there for her when she needs you." Kate said.

"It's just going to be weird coming home to an empty loft every night." Castle said with a sigh.

"What am I, chopped liver?" Kate asked.

"I didn't mean it like that, I meant its going to be weird coming home every day and not having my daughter here, not having to be a father every day." Castle said.

"Well, maybe we should fix that." Kate said quietly.

"What?" Castle asked as he froze in place.

"Maybe we should fix it." Kate said, a little more confidently.

Castle spun around in his chair, trying to keep the smile from taking over his face.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Castle asked, studying her face for any indication of what she was thinking.

"What I'm saying is that I love you and I know that you are it for me. Neither of us are getting any younger and I'm not saying I want to go baby crazy where we plan when we have sex and all that, but I want to have kids with you and now is as good as ever. I just started my next cycle of birth control pills, so we would have to wait until I'm done with this months, but after that I don't see why we can't stop trying to prevent me getting pregnant and whatever happens, happens." Kate said.

"Am I dreaming? I swear I just heard you say that you wanted to basically start trying to have a baby." Castle said, not even trying to hold back his smile.

"That is exactly what I'm saying." Kate said, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning forward to give him a kiss.

When the broke apart, Castle got a huge grin on his face like he was up to no good.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Maddie was right." Castle said with a smirk.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked, not following his train of thought.

"You DO want little Caskett babies!"

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**A/N: **Well there you go! Hope you like it and please leave reviews


	83. Chapter 83

Chapter 83:

"Kate…" Castle called quietly, lightly brushing her hair out of her face. "Kate, sweetheart, it's time to get up."

Kate just gave a disgruntled scoff, rolling over and burying her face back into her pillow, the sounds of her light snores once again filling the room.

Despite popular belief, Kate Beckett was not a morning person, something Castle quickly discovered. She wasn't so bad when she had to work, she pretty much had that down like clock work so she would wake up five minutes before her alarm went off every time. When she had the day off or was on vacation… that was an entirely different story. You had better chances of getting Iron Gates to crack a smile before you managed to wake Kate up.

Castle was pretty sure coffee was invented specifically with Kate in mind. if it wasn't for her morning dose of caffeine, he was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to function and he would have been dead a long time ago. He didn't even want to think about when Kate gets pregnant… nine months without Kate having coffee, THE HORROR!

Luckily for him, coffee was still at his disposal and he quickly realized that there was no chance of getting Kate out of bed without the immediate relief of caffeine.

Trudging back into the living room and into the kitchen, ignoring Martha and Alexis's quiet chuckles when he pulled out the largest mug they had which appropriately had "For Emergency Use Only" scrawled on the side of the mug in big red letters, Castle quickly made a cup before disappearing back into the bedroom.

Setting the mug down on the bedside table, close enough that Kate would be able to smell it when she started to wake up, Castle pulled the covers off of Kate, a small smile appearing on his face when her brows furrowed at the sudden temperature change.

"C'mon sleeping beauty, it's Christmas and everyone is waiting on you, it's time to get up." Castle said, affectionately stroking her cheek trying to coax her out of her sleep.

"S'early." Kate grumbled, her eyes fluttering as she tried to go back to sleep.

"I know baby, but I've got coffee and I promise I'll let you sleep as long as you want tomorrow." Castle said as he watched Kate slump into the bed, knowing she was giving up on her quest to go back to sleep, especially since the smell of her coffee had probably reached her nostrils.

Slowly, but surely, Kate began to wake all the way up, stretching out all her limbs with an accompanying yawn before opening her eyes, immediately finding his with a small smile before she squinted at him, a quizzative look on her face.

"Did you just call me baby?" she asked in that I-told-you-not-to-call-me-by-pet-names-but-I-secre tly-kind-of-love-it tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Castle said with a goofy grin as he leaned forward to capture her lips with his in a kiss full of passion and love.

"Merry Christmas." Castle whispered as they broke apart, the grin still on his face, his eyes twinkling with pure happiness.

"Merry Christmas." Kate said, with what she could only assume was a look very similar to the one on the ruggedly handsome man's face sitting before her.

"So what do you say detective, are you ready to experience the wonders of Christmas morning in Casa de Castle?" Castle asked as he stood up, pulling Kate with him.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Kate said with an excited smile. "Wait!"

Turning around to the bedside table, she picked up the steaming cup of coffee and took a large sip, her eyes closing in a silent moan as the warm liquid made it's way down her throat.

"Okay, now I'm ready." She said.

With a chuckle, Castle took her free hand and led her into the living room where Alexis immediately popped up from the floor to give her a hug, careful not to jostle her coffee cup.

"Merry Christmas, Kate." The teenager said with a big grin.

"Merry Christmas, Lex. Merry Christmas, Martha." Kate said to the older woman as she sat down on the couch.

"Merry Christmas darling and might I add that Richard must have broken some kind of record getting you up that quickly. Alexis and I thought for sure that we wouldn't be seeing either of you for about another hour when he came out to get the emergency mug." Martha said.

"It's a Christmas miracle!" Castle said with a wink. "Now, let's open presents!"

First up was Alexis.

She got a voucher for a weekend spa retreat and season tickets to the local theater they usually frequent from Martha.

From Kate, she got a gift card to her favorite stores she likes to frequent, her very own riding helmet and jacket with the promise that Kate would take her out for a ride when the weather gets warmer, much to Castle's displeasure, and a brand new set of medical supplies that she would need for school (Lanie helped with those).

From Castle, she got a new computer, two sets of keys, and a picture of a car.

"You got me a car?" Alexis asked, her eyes wide with surprise.

"Yes. Well technically, two cars. We figured that it would be too much of a hassle for you to get the car to Stanford and back every summer, so you have a car here from Kate, Mother, and I, and then you have a car parked in a permanent garage out in California from your mother and I." Castle explained before immediately being tackled by the excited teenager.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Alexis practically screamed, immediately pulling out her phone, assumable to text her friends about the newest addition to her possessions.

Next up was Martha.

From Alexis, she got a renewable two-way plane ticket that would allow her to come visit her at Stanford whenever she wanted, within reason of course. From Castle and Kate, she got a set of keys.

"What are these for darlings?" she asked, examining the set of keys in her hands.

"Those are for your new place." Castle explained. "We got you a small apartment about a block away from your studio for when you want to go to a place of your own."

"Is this your not so subtle way of telling your mother that she has overstayed her welcome?" Martha asked.

"Not at all, Martha. Your room will stay exactly how it is and you are welcome here whenever you like for as long as you like. We just wanted to give you somewhere that you could escape to for some peace and quiet, especially with future developments." Kate said.

"Future developments?" Martha asked, watching her son and the detective with narrow eyes.

Kate looked over at Castle who shrugged his shoulders letting her know that it was up to her whether or not she wanted to tell them.

"Castle and I decided that in the very near future, we are going to, I guess you could say, trying for a baby." Kate said with a smile.

"Wonderful!" Martha said, breaking out into a huge smile.

"I'm going to be a big sister?" Alexis asked with an equally large smile on her face.

"She's not pregnant yet, but yes, that is the general idea." Castle said, smiling at Kate, who had been worried that Alexis wouldn't like the idea, thinking that they were trying to replace her since she was leaving for college.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Alexis exclaimed.

"Thanks Lex. I'm glad to hear you approve." Kate said sincerely as she gave her a hug.

After the commotion died down, it was Kate's turn to open her presents.

From Martha, she also got a weekend spa retreat, which was quickly decided would be used for a girls weekend with her and Alexis when they both had the weekend off.

From Alexis, she got a beautiful silver bracelet with a castle as the main focus point.

"Back when your apartment blew up and dad got your dad's watch fixed, I didn't understand why it was so important, seeing as how your dad was still alive, so I asked him. He explained how the watch represented how you saved your dad from alcoholism, or the life you saved, and how your mom's ring that you wore represented the life you lost. I was walking through the mall a couple weeks ago and I saw that bracelet and I though that maybe you could wear it to remind yourself of the life your living, the life you have with us." Alexis said, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red in embarrassment, thinking that she might have overstepped. "I understand if you don't want to wear it." she added quickly.

"Alexis, I love it and I definitely want to wear it. Can you help me put it on?" Kate asked.

"Really?" Alexis asked, her face breaking into a huge grin.

"Really." Kate said as she caught Castle's eyes, a huge grin on his face, his eyes a little bit moist with unshed tears.

When Alexis got situated back on the floor, the room suddenly got very silent and you could cut the tension with a knife when Castle handed Kate her presents.

"Geeze Castle, what did you give me, bricks?" Kate asked, trying to inject some humor into the situation, more for herself than anyone else. The way everyone was watching her was slightly unnerving.

The first present she opened was the blank photo album that held nothing but a picture of the group of them on the front.

"A blank scrap book?" Kate asked.

"I'll explain when you open the second one." Castle said, his voice wavering slightly with nerves.

Momentarily studying his face for a clue as to what this was all about, Kate turned back to the second box and began to open it.

When she took the lid off and saw the picture on the front, she quietly gasped as she ran her fingers over the picture of her mom holding her as a baby.

Taking the album out of the box, she began to flip through the book. It was filled with pictures of her and her mom, the same pictures she lost when her apartment blew up.

"How?" Kate asked, looking at Castle, silent tears running down her face.

"When you were telling me about Christmas, you told me how you no longer had pictures of you and your mom and I could tell that you missed having them, so I paid a visit to your dad and he gathered the pictures for me so I could make you an album. The one in your hand is for you to remember the life you once had and the empty one is for you to document the life you are currently living." Castle said, leaning forward to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Thank you." Kate whispered, a gentle smile on her face as she looked down at the photo album. "I can't even begin to explain how much this means to me. You've already done so much for me these past couple of weeks and then you did this too, so thank you. Thank you for doing all this for me."

"Anything, any time, anywhere." Castle said, leaning forward to give her a chaste kiss before pulling back.

"Okay dad, it's your turn to open your presents." Alexis said.

"Finally!" Castle exclaimed with the excitement of a five year old which made the entire group laugh.

From Alexis, Castle got the same plane ticket voucher as Martha, except his could only be used once a month.

"Hey, why does mother get an unlimited amount and I'm limited to once a month?" Castle whined.

"Because dad, then you would never leave and it ruins the entire purpose of me going away for college." Alexis said.

Castle put his best pouting face on, but it quickly returned to a smile of excitement when Kate put his next present in front of him.

From Martha, he received in a gift card to his favorite wine store, Martha claiming that it was her way of repaying him for all the wine she has taken from his stash, but Castle whispered in an audible whisper that it was her way of telling him they ran out of her favorite wine which earned him a slap in the chest from Kate.

From Kate, he also got his very own riding jacket and helmet, which he was quite excited about, asking her if she decided that he could handle her straddling her motorcycle in black, tight leather, which of course got an 'ew' from Alexis as she covered her ears. Next, he opened a smaller box which held his very own badge with his very own number, but instead of it reading detective it said writer.

"Do not bring that anywhere near the precinct. It was risky enough actually getting it made, but if Gates sees you with that, she will definitely kick you out on your ass and I will be working security for the rest of my life." Kate said.

"I will not bring it anywhere near the precinct." Castle said as he admired his very own badge. This was so cool!

With the rest of the presents being for their friends and family who were coming over for Christmas dinner later that evening, Martha excused herself, going on about some party she just had to stop in at, but promising she would be back in plenty of time for dinner.

Alexis, who had eagerly volunteered to make dinner for everyone, disappeared into the kitchen to begin the preparations.

When they were left alone, Kate disappeared into the bedroom, returning almost immediately with an envelop which she gave to Castle who didn't notice her leave because he was playing with his helmet. He really was a nine year old on a sugar rush sometimes.

"What's this?" Castle asked.

"It's part of your Christmas present. I didn't think you would want to read it in front of everyone, so go in your office and read it when you're ready." Kate said with a smile before giving him a kiss and then disappearing in the kitchen to help Alexis.

Castle sat there on the couch, the rather thick envelop in his hands, watching his daughter and Kate laugh and smile as they worked around the kitchen like they have been doing it for years before standing up and disappearing into the study.

Locking the door behind him, he sat down in his chair, carefully opening the envelop and pulling out the paper and unfolding it as he began to read.

_Dear Rick…_

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**A/N:** There we go ladies and gentleman! Christmas morning!

Don't worry, I will write out the letter, but I want to make sure that it's perfect because it is a really big deal, so it might take awhile depending on well the words flow.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review! I'm addicted!


	84. Chapter 84

Chapter 84:

Locking the door behind him, he sat down in his chair, carefully opening the envelop and pulling out the paper and unfolding it as he began to read.

_Dear Rick…_

* * *

_Dear Rick,_

_Well you're of running some errands, or so you told me, and I'm sitting here missing you like I always do when you leave or aren't around. For the past few weeks, I have been wracking my brain, trying to come up with something that I could give you for Christmas that even comes to close what you are giving me. I have so many things in mind that I know you will love, mainly because I'm pretty sure you would love anything that I gave you, but that's not enough. I want it to be special. A conversation came to mind that you had with Montgomery when he was trying to figure out what to get his wife for their anniversary. You told him that the best gift to get a woman is something that they asked for when they thought that you weren't listening. So I started thinking about the past four years, about all the different conversations we've had over the years and all the different things you've asked for. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was one consistent thing that you asked for over and over again, besides being able to carry a gun and have your own badge. The only thing you have ever truly asked me for was for me to let you in, for me to be honest with you and talk to you so I decided that for once in my life, I am going to do just that. I am going to be completely honest with you. I wish that I could do this face to face, but I'm pretty sure that not even you could spill all your secrets to my face so we are both going to have to settle for a letter. So sit back, relax, and here we go. _

_Our journey began a few weeks after my mom died. I had just gotten home from picking my father up from yet another bar and I just felt so alone in the world. I missed my mom so much that it was hard to breathe. I remember standing there in the living room, yelling at my dad that he needed to get his shit together because I needed him and he wasn't there for me, but of course, by the time I was done yelling, he was already passed out of the couch from all the alcohol he drank and once again I was completely alone, left to deal with things on my own. I think that was the first night I realized that I not only lost my mom that night, but I lost my dad too and it hurt so bad, I was so scared and all I wanted was a hug from my mom, I just wanted her to wrap her arms around me, stroke my hair, and tell me that everything was going to be alright. I don't know what made me go into her room that night, but I somehow I ended lying on her side of the bed and I think that night was the first time I let myself grieve. My dad wasn't in a good place, so I was trying to be strong for him, but that night, it just all became to much and everything I had been bottling up just came flowing out. I cried for hours until I eventually passed out. I woke up sometime in the middle of the night and when I woke up the first thing I saw was your book sitting on the bedside table from where my mom had left it the last time she read it. I was so desperate for any kind of connection that I began reading and from that moment on I was hooked. I didn't stop reading until I finished the book and then the next day I went out and got the rest of your books and finished those in no time. You literally saved me, your words saved me and for that I am forever grateful. From that moment on, whenever I missed my mom, whenever things became too much, I opened one of your books and just read, read about a world where the killers were found, were the victims got the kind of justice that I never got and in a way, it made it okay. The day I stood in line to meet you, I was so nervous, but when I got up to the front of the line, all it took was one smile from you as you looked up at me and asked me my name and I felt like everything was going to be alright, that as long as I had your words, I could handle anything. I never told you this, but your books were one of the reasons I became a cop. I wanted to give the victims in the real world the same kind of justice that you gave the victims in your novels. Little did I know, it would lead me back to you. _

_I remember when I walked into that crime scene, I felt like I walked right into one of your books and when I realized that I had to question you, I thought that this was my chance, this was my chance to get to know the man behind my favorite books. Then I brought you into the interrogation room and you were nothing like I thought you would be, you were this cocky, arrogant jackass who thought that he could have anything he wanted and it made me so angry, so angry that the man sitting in front of me was the man that made me feel so special that last time that we met, even if you didn't remember me. To make matters worse, somehow, you figured out my entire life story, the entire reason I became a cop without even asking me any questions, without digging, and it scared me that you could read me so well when we barely knew each other. Then we finished the case and you offered to take me to dinner so we could debrief each other. I was so tempted to take you up on your offer, but there was that little tiny thought in the back of my head telling me to walk away, reminding me how you had read me so easily, so I walked away, making sure I left an impression so that you couldn't forget me even if you wanted to. Unfortunately, I left to much of an impression and it turned into you shadowing me so you could do research for your new character that you were basing on me. _

_Those first few cases I must have thought about a hundred different ways that I could shoot you and make it look like an accident, and it made it better knowing that you couldn't do anything about it because you signed the waivers. Then right when I was starting to get used to having you around, right when I started to realize that you really could be an asset to the team, you dug into my mom's case even after I asked you not to, specifically told you that I couldn't get involved in that again, that it would destroy me if it was dug back up, but of course you didn't listen to me and dug into it anyway. I was so angry with you then and I couldn't figure out why. I couldn't figure out why it hurt so much more than it should have knowing that YOU were the one that dug into it, probably because you were the one that saved me from it. Esposito told me you know? He told me how you asked for the case file long before I told you not to dig into it and it took me awhile, but I figured out that you must have found something new before I told you not to look into it which is why you brought it back up, but by then you were gone because I kicked you out and I was far too stubborn to admit that I might have been wrong. _

_Thankfully, just like always, fate intervened and we had to do that stupid interview and Montgomery told me to play nice and then before I know it you were walking away after giving me one of the most sincere, breathtaking apologies and I just knew that we weren't done yet, I knew that I still wanted you to stick around, so I let you and I think that was when we really started to get in the swing of things, when we really started our journey. _

_Once again, everything was just starting to return to normal, we were just starting to get into the swing of things, get our rhythm back, and then you got the deal to write about a certain British spy. When you told me, I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. Why would you stick around and follow me when you could write about someone as great as that, especially when you seemed so excited. So, I put up my defenses and did everything I could to distance myself. I distanced myself so much that when I read the dedication saying that I was extraordinary, when you came up to me and said I was extraordinary, I was already on the defense and before I know it we are both sulking off in anger and I realized right then and there that I was going to lose you, that you were going to leave before we even got the chance to see what we could be, but then you got the offer to write three more books for Nikki Heat and we got another murder and everything was alright in the world again. _

_The next time we really hit a bump in the road was when we were investigating the murder of Kyra's bridesmaid. When I found out that this woman was different than the other women you usually parade around, when I found out that you had a connection with her and she was the one that got away, I was so unbelievably jealous. I had no right to be because you weren't mine, but every time I saw you two together, my stomach would churn and I just wanted to be anywhere but there. Then you kissed her up on that rooftop and I started seeing green, all I could think about was dragging you away from her, handcuffing you to my bed, and keeping you there until we solved the case and your long lost love was long gone. I never told you this, but that night in the precinct when you were saying goodbye after showing her the video, she came up to me and said three words, "He's all yours." It was like I was struck by lightening or something along those lines. Up until that point, I figured that what I was feeling to you was just a silly little crush and I would eventually get over it and move on, but when she said that to me, I started to realize that maybe this was more than just a silly little crush, that maybe my feelings for you ran deeper than I originally thought. _

_The case with Dick Coonan was a hard one. When it was brought to my attention that the man who was responsible for the murder of my mother was the same man we were looking for, all I could think about was that this was it, this was my chance to get the justice I have been looking for my entire life. I don't think I realized it at the time, but if it wasn't for you, I don't think I would have gotten through that case. If it wasn't for you, I never would have realized that Coonan was my mother's killer and he would have walked free and I would have still been left with unanswered questions, but I didn't have to deal with any of that because you were there every step of the way, you selflessly donated the $100,000 just so I could have a shot at catching my mother's killer and then when we realized that it was Coonan, that there was no other man and he took you hostage, I could see it in your eyes that you were willing to just let him walk out of there, that you were willing to risk your life despite the fact that you had Alexis waiting for you at home just so I could have a shot at my mother's killer and that's when I realized that there wasn't a choice. That I would chose you every time. Yes, it meant that I might never find out who killed my mother, but at that moment I think a part of me realized that as long as I had you, I could live with that, that it might not be as bad as I thought it would be. _

_Then Demming showed up to help us with that robbery case and I started to flirt with him, started going out on dates with him and pushing you away, ignoring your theories, ignoring you coffee, basically ignoring you. I have no idea why I did it, I was not proud of the person I was those few weeks. I should have realized that what I was doing was wrong, especially after Maddie came into town and once again I found myself inexplicably jealous, even worse than when Kyra was in town. When I found out that the only reason you went out to dinner with Maddie was to get stories about me, I was so happy I felt like doing cartwheels, but I kept seeing Demming. I think a part of me loved seeing you so jealous, loved seeing what me being with Demming was doing to you and thought that it was only a matter of time before you would make your move, before you would fight for me like I so desperately wanted you to. Little did I know, my actions were doing the exact opposite of what I hoped, instead of pulling you closer, they were pushing you away and before I know it you were telling me that this was going to be your last case for the summer. I only opened my eyes when Esposito called me out on it, saying how he was pretty sure that you weren't sticking around to see my with some other guy. So I broke things off with Demming and was planning on telling you that I wanted to go with you the Hamptons, but by then I was too late and I already drove you into the arms of another woman. _

_I was so angry at you for leaving that summer and not calling, but I think eventually it became more of an angry at my actions rather than yours kind of situation. I realized that this was my fault, that I was the one who kept rejecting you when you made it perfectly clear how you felt about me and by the time I realized it, you did exactly what I've been asking you to do all along, you moved on. But I was still angry, because even if you didn't want to be with me anymore, you could have at least called and then you just showed up at the crime scene we were working on and we made that bet. _

_I don't know if anyone ever mentioned this to you, but I let you win that bet you know? I figured out what that the entire thing was about counterfeit about five minutes before you did, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything because I didn't want you to go. I missed you so much that summer and it was nice having you back. I couldn't let you walk out of my life so I threw the bet and you were back and we were better than ever, even though you were with Gina and I was with Josh. _

_I can't remember ever being as scared as I was when you and Ryan were taken captive by 3XK. When I got that call from Martha telling me how something was wrong, that she just knew something had happened to you, I felt like the entire world stopped and all I could think about was getting to you before it was too late. When we got to the safe house, I didn't even wait for back up, I threw all my training out the window and just bolted up the stairs two at a time, desperate to get to you, but unsure of what I was going to find. If we weren't surrounded by cops, I probably could have kissed you right then and there I was so happy to see you alive. _

_I have to admit that when Natalie Rhodes approached me and asked if she could shadow me for a few days to do research for the movie, I did it mostly because I knew how much you disliked her, how much you didn't like that they chose her to play Nikki Heat, but my plan quickly backfired when she got into her work a little too much. Then to top it off, you were so interested in her and I found myself wondering if maybe you didn't have feelings for me, but feelings for the idea of me, for the idea of the strong, independent detective that you write Nikki Heat to be. Those thoughts basically became paranoia when I saw you kissing her in the elevator. When Natalie Rhodes came in the next day and told me that you said no, I couldn't help but feel relieved yet slightly confused because you were clearly infatuated with her so then my already twisted, messed up mind started to think that you were no longer interested in me at all, that you didn't want to sleep with her because she reminded you too much of me. I failed to realize that maybe you didn't sleep with her because she reminded you of me but because she wasn't me. _

_You know how she took my coffee and I got angry and you said that it was just coffee? I wasn't angry because she took my coffee, I was angry because she took my coffee from you. To me, at that time, you bringing me coffee was like you kissing me good morning or telling me that you love me in a secret way because you couldn't just outright tell me. That's why I got so angry with her when she took the coffee. _

_I don't know if you remember this or not, but when we had the case with the dirty bomb and were exposed to the radiation and had to be quarantined, I was telling you about how Josh was going away to Haiti and how at first I loved that he was so busy because it allowed me to keep one foot out the door. I could tell that you were about to tell me that you were there for me, that you would always be there for me and that we could jump in together and part of me wanted you to tell me that, wanted you to take that leap, but then when we got interrupted I couldn't help but feel relieved because once that was out there it was out there. Then when we got trapped in the freezer, I thought I was going to die, but it wasn't like I expected to be because I was with you. Even when I was facing death, I felt safe because I was with you. I was going to tell you then you know? I was going to tell you I loved you, but I passed out before I could and then when I woke up, Josh was there telling me how he came back for me, how he wasn't going tog o to Haiti and I felt like I owed it to him to give us another chance even though I pretty much knew we were over, especially when we were in the bullpen after the case and I'm pretty sure you were about to ask me out before Josh walked up. I couldn't figure out why you suddenly stopped, I wanted you to ask me out, I would have said yes too, and then that entire night the only place I wanted to be was with you because I didn't feel safe with Josh like I did with you. _

_You were the first thing I asked about too, you know. Josh mentioned later on how I was the first thing that you asked about when you woke up after the freezer, how you practically punched out the medics until he assured you that I was alright. I did the same thing. I just had t make sure you were okay, especially when they told me you were still unconscious because a lot of your body heat was used in keeping me warm. You almost died in that freezer because you were trying to keep me alive. _

_Where do I even begin when it comes to LA. I don't know how I can ever thank you for being there for me. Even after I ignored you, even after I pushed you away, you were still there for me. Even though I pretended to be annoyed when I was called up to first class and found you sitting there, I was actually really glad that you were there. The entire ride to the airport, all I could think about was how I wished you were there and then you were. Had it not been for you, I wouldn't have been able to get through that week, had it not been for you, I probably would have pulled the trigger under the pier. So thank you, for always having my back even when I tell you I don't want it. _

_That night in the hotel room, when you were staring at me, your love just shining through your eyes, I knew that if I didn't get out of there, I was going to do something stupid. Even after I left, I almost did something stupid. I came back out. Luckily, one of us had some common sense and you were already in your bedroom. I'm so glad that you weren't in that living room when I opened the door because I probably would have ended up sleeping with you and I didn't want out relationship to start like that, you meant too much to me for us to start something so important like that. _

_Can I just add that you are so adorable when you are jealous? Don't think I didn't notice the way you instantly got disgusted by those muffins when I told you that they were from Alex Conrad. Then at the end of the case when I confronted you about giving him a hard time and you went off on your rant about how you were jealous, it was so adorable. But I meant what I said then, even more now, I am forever a one-writer girl, unless Patterson approaches me about wanting to write a book about me. You know that I have a soft spot for Patterson;)_

_I know that you think I was mad at you for a long time after Montgomery was killed, that I blamed you for his death, but I want you to know that I never once blamed you for anything that happened that night. Even if I didn't admit it at the time, you saved my life, you saved our life. If it hadn't been for you, Montgomery's funeral wouldn't be the only one that you went to. I don't know why you did it, especially after the fight we had where I told you that we were over just because I couldn't admit that you right, I don't get how you could come back and then on top of that, less than 24 hours after I kicked you out of my life you took a bullet for me, you almost died trying to keep me safe. I don't get it, and I don't think I ever will get how after everything you did, you still loved me. _

_When I realized that you had been shot, when I realized that you were lying there on the grass dying, I didn't know what to do, I couldn't lose you, not after everything that we've been through. Losing you would have been worse than losing my mom. I wouldn't have recovered from that. Had they taken your life that day, I would have probably followed close behind because I would have been so angry that they not only took my mom away, but the man I loved that I wouldn't have stopped until I found who was responsible and that would have probably gotten me killed. _

_I am so sorry that I didn't fight for you after you asked me to leave. I am so sorry that I let my anger get the best of me and disappeared when I should have came and talked to you, when I should have realized that there was something else going on, that you would never be mad at me for getting you shot. But I was a coward and ran away and once again, you came after me, you fixed us just like you always do. _

_Thank you. Thank you for coming after me when I found out you were investigating my mother's case. Thank you for taking the time to explain to me and for protecting me. Thank you for loving me and making me realize that my mom's murder is not worth losing my life over. Thank you for helping me give it up. Just thank you. _

_I know that this still probably doesn't do what you did for me, what you've always done for me justice, but just thank you. _

_I love you so much Rick. You truly are my one and done. At first, it scared me how much I loved you because it meant that it would hurt that much more if I lost you, but you helped me realize that you can't stop yourself from being happy just because you're afraid of something that will most likely never happen. _

_You make me so happy and I can't and don't want to imagine my life without you. So let's make each other a promise, no matter what happens, no matter where we end up, if you promise to never give up on me, if you promise to fight for me when I want to run, I promise that I will always fight for you when you feel the need to run because without you, I'm nothing. _

_Merry Christmas Rick and thank you for making it magical. When you are done reading this, clean yourself up and come find me and give me the hug and kiss I know you are dying to give me. I promise I won't stop you no matter where we are. _

_I love you, Forever and Always. _

_Kate._

* * *

**A/N: **Well here is the letter. I know that there is so much more I could have put in here, I probably could have made an entire new fanfiction simply out of this letter, but it was already really long so I had to cut it short.

I hope you enjoyed it and please, please tell me what you think.


	85. Chapter 85

Chapter 85:

Castle would always remember that night in LA, that one night where Kate Beckett's walls came tumbling down as they sat there, staring into each other's eyes and she let her true feelings shine through her tough exterior.

Up until that point, he had always had his suspicions that Kate had feelings for him that stemmed beyond "just friends" or "just partners" but he could never be sure, especially since she was still with Josh. But that night, Kate had that look in her eye that screamed I love you, that practically begged for him to just wait a little bit longer and she would be ready. Right then and there, he knew that he couldn't, knew that he wouldn't give up. That one look made all the pain and heart ache worth it because he knew that one day in the very near future, Kate Beckett would be his.

But that wasn't what brought the memory to mind as he sat there, letter in hand, tears falling down his face in a very unmanly fashion. No, what brought that night to the forefront of his memory was what he had said to Kate that night.

He had told her that he was a mystery he was never going to solve and boy had he never been more right about something in his life.

Right when he thought he had her figured out, he was surprised by her once again and this letter was no exception.

She had opened up to him in a way he never thought she would and it blew his mind. her words meant more to him than he could put into words and he realized that this was what his books did for her, what he would make sure he continued to do even if she was the only one to read his writing.

The faint sound of knocking followed by what sounded like Lanie registered in the back of his mind and after a quick glance at the clock, he realized that it was much later than he thought and it was only a matter of time before their guests started to arrive if they hadn't already.

Anyone who knew Richard Castle personally, knew that he never passed up the opportunity to throw a party especially when it meant spoiling the people he cares about. But right now the only thing he wants to do is send everyone home then take Kate to bed and show her exactly how much that letter meant to him.

But he knew that tonight was important, especially to Kate. So he carefully folded the letter back up, slipped it back into its envelope and into his safe before making his way to the bathroom to make himself look more presentable and not like he's been crying because his girlfriend wrote him a letter.

When he made his way out of his study ten minutes later, the party was already in full swing. Esposito and Ryan and made their way over to his entertainment system and were currently in a heated Halo battle while Jenny looked on with something Castle could only describe as amusement. Martha was dancing around the loft to the Christmas music with a wine glass in her hand, a sign that she would have to be cut off early tonight. Alexis and Jim were laughing about something and judging by their frequent glances, it was at his mother's behavior.

He took all that in with a quick sweep of the loft before his eyes finally locked on to what he was really looking for.

Kate was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a wine glass in her hand, talking to Lanie.

She never looked so breathtakingly beautiful. Sure she had on a simple pair of jeans and a sweater, but she had the most gorgeous smile on her face that just lit up the room.

Obviously sensing his eyes on her, she glanced over Lanie's shoulder, meeting his eyes, her smile growing even wider and god help him, it was all e could do not to shout "Marry me" across the room.

Rick was so caught up in watching Kate that he didn't notice Jim come up beside him until he spoke.

"You know, you have the same look on your face that I had when ever I watched Johanna." Jim said, happy that Rick was so happy simply because Kate was happy.

"She always tells me that its creepy when I stare, but I mean look at her, how can you not be so utterly captivated by her." Castle said, her adorable laugh making his grin grow wider.

"You've got five minutes to get over there and give her the kiss I know you are dying to give her. I'll distract your daughter so she isn't scared for life." Jim said with a chuckle, patting him on the back before making his way back over to Alexis.

Castle didn't have to be told twice and besides she did say to kiss her like he wanted to when he was done no matter who was around at the time, so she technically gave him permission.

Walking with a purpose towards the kitchen, he completely ignored the fact that Lanie was talking as he wrapped his arms around Kate's waist, pausing momentarily to watch the large grin take over her face when she realized what he was doing before capturing her lips in a kiss that was barely appropriate for the bedroom.

Pulling apart, he rested his forehead on hers.

"Thank you so much for that letter. You, Katherine Beckett, are truly extraordinary and I love you more and more with each passing day." Castle whispered.

"You're not so bad yourself writer man." Kate said, capturing his lips briefly before continuing. "Now go greet the rest of the guest then get your adorable self back over here because I already miss you."

With one more kiss, Castle unwrapped his arms, pit on his charming smile and made his way over to the boys.

When Kate finally tore her eyes away from him, she was greeted with a smirking Lanie.

"What was that all about?" she asked, her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline.

"Can't my boyfriend give me a kiss?" Kate asked with a smirk.

"Please girl! That wasn't just a kiss, that was a thank you for giving me that naughty video tape of you kind of kiss." Lanie said a little too loudly judging b the fact that her father glanced at the kitchen with bewildered eyes before turning back to Alexis.

"Lanie!" Kate hissed. The last thing she wants is her dad thinking she made Castle a sex tape.

"Well maybe you shouldn't pass that off as "just a kiss from my boyfriend." Then we wouldn't have this problem." Lanie said.

"Fine. I wrote him a letter where I told him everything that I've always been too chicken to tell him over the years." Kate said.

"You mean everything, everything?" Lanie asked in a disbelieving tone.

"Yes she did and it was amazing." Castle said as he came up behind Kate and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back into his chest while placing a kiss on her temple. "And just for future reference, I would not be opposed to a naughty video."

"Good going Lanie, now look what you started." Kate said, shooting her best friend a half hearted glare.

"Don't worry babe, I don't want anything but the real deal." Castle said.

"Babe?" Kate asked, craning her neck to glare at him for the pet name.

"Did I say babe? I meant Kate. Slip of the tongue. My mistake." Castle quickly corrected.

"Good save." Kate said with a smile.

"Alexis wants to go to a little gathering her friends are having, but she'll miss dinner. I told her it was up to you." Castle said.

"Are you okay with it? I meant it is your last Christmas before she goes to college…" Kate said.

"Yeah, I'm okay with it, she would probably have more fun with her friends than all us adults anyway." Castle said.

"Okay. Then it's fine with me." Kate said with a smile, watching Castle disappear in search of his daughter.

"He's taking Alexis going off to college a lot better than I thought he would. I expected him to be clinging on to her, bringing out the baby pictures for everyone to see." Lanie said.

"That was the other day." Kate said, turning her attention back to her friend.

"Uh oh, what happened?" Lanie asked.

"Alexis came home pretty upset and Castle went to go check on her except she didn't want to talk to him, she wanted to talk to me. I came downstairs to find him looking at Alexis's baby pictures going on and on how his little girl didn't need him any more." Kate said, her heart aching a little as she remembered the look of pure devastation in his eyes.

"That must have been tough." Lanie said. Everyone knows how close Castle is with his daughter.

"Yeah, but we talked about it and came up with a solution that definitely cheered him up." Kate said, a smile on her face.

"Ooo, details girl!" Lanie said, obviously mistaking her smile to mean something else.

"Not like that Lanie. Why is that always the first thing you think of?" Kate asked.

"Girl, you're forgetting that you and Castle showed up to the Old Haunt once almost an hour late because you were getting your freak on all over the loft. My mind instantly goes there because that's usually what you two are doing." Lanie said.

"Okay, you have a point, but not this time." Kate said.

"Spill already!" Lanie said.

"Alright, but you can't say a word about it to anyone." Kate said.

"You're secret is safe with me." Lanie promised.

"Rick and I decided that after I'm done with this month's birth control, we are going to essentially start trying to have a baby." Kate said, her grin growing.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" Lanie squealed. "Wait, was this your idea or his idea?"

"It was my idea." Kate said, laughing at the look of disbelief on her friend's face.

"You're telling me that not only did you write a letter pretty much baring your soul, but you also brought up the subject of having kids?" Lanie asked.

"Yup." Kate replied.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Kate Beckett?" Lanie asked.

"Shut up." Kate said.

"Girl, but honestly, I'm happy for you, its about time you found happiness." Lanie said giving her a hug.

"Thanks girl, now if you'll excuse me, I have to get dinner on the table." Kate said.

Little did the two ladies know, but Jim had been coming back from the bathroom and he heard the entire conversation.


	86. Chapter 86

Chapter 86:

It was well past midnight when the guests started leaving. Martha had excused herself, intent on hitting a party with her theater friends and Kevin and Jenny followed, dragging Esposito and Lanie with them to give them a ride home because they were in no condition to get themselves home. Alexis called about an hour ago to let Castle know that she would be spending the night at her friends and not to expect her home to sometime tomorrow afternoon which left Jim.

Both Castle and Kate had tried to get him to stay, especially since it had started snowing, but Jim refused saying he knows what couples do on Christmas when the house is empty and it would be better if he just went home and saved them all the embarrassment which of course made Kate blush and let out an embarrassed "Dad!" while Castle nervously chuckled, unsure of what to do in this situation because he definitely didn't want to lie to his future father in law, but he couldn't very well reveal that he did indeed have plans to ravish his daughter.

In the end, they managed to talk Jim into at least letting Castle go get his car, which was parked a few blocks away which is why Kate and Jim were now standing in the lobby of their building waiting for Castle to return.

"He's a good man Katie. I hated to see your passion for Christmas disappear when your mom died." Jim said, breaking the silence.

"I never thought that I would want to celebrate Christmas again after mom died, but there is just something about Castle that makes you want to believe in the magic again." Kate said.

They fell into silence again and Jim took to watching his daughter. Even just standing here in the lobby after a long day, she was smiling, the happiness she felt radiating off of her and he understood why Rick had been so captivated by her earlier.

When you used to look at her, you would always be able to see that hint of sadness in her features that showed her darkened past, but now you wouldn't be able to tell because now she wasn't the girl haunted by her mother's murder, but rather the woman who lost her mother, but still found true happiness.

"So, a baby, huh?" Jim asked, once again breaking the silence, silently chuckling at the way his daughter froze, her eyes going wide with horror before she schooled her features.

"What?" she managed to choke out.

Jim chuckled again. "I was coming back from the bathroom earlier when I heard you telling your friend Lanie that you and Rick were going to try for a baby."

"Oh, yeah." Kate said, realizing she couldn't lie to him if he had heard her.

"I'm happy for you, but I thought you didn't want kids?" Jim asked.

It had been shortly after Castle had been shot and she had broken up with the doctor. He knew that she was staying at the cabin for awhile to get away from the city so he went to visit her only to find her sitting on the couch, crying. After awhile, she finally calmed down enough to tell him that she thought she was pregnant. When he tried to stay positive, telling her it would be alright, that she would be a good mother, it only made it worse because she didn't want to be a mother. Luckily, the ten pregnancy tests she took were all negative, but after that any hopes he had of one day being a grand father significantly decreased.

"I though I didn't either until Castle. I know what you're thinking, I knew Castle when I had the scare this summer, but the baby wouldn't have been his. The only person I want to have a baby with, the only person that makes me excited to have a baby, is Rick." Kate said.

"That's love. I was the same way and I imagine Rick was too. I see how much he adores Alexis, but I bet after she was born he never thought about having more children until he met the right woman." Jim said.

"That's what he said. When we first talked about what we wanted out of this relationship, he told me that after his divorce from his second wife, he had no desire to get married again or have more children until he met me. I didn't understand at first until I realized that I felt the same way, that I didn't want marriage or children unless it was with Rick." Kate said right as Castle pulled up.

"Well, Katie bug, I have no doubt that you will make an amazing mother. Just make sure I get to spoil my grandchild every once in awhile." Jim said with a wink as he gave his daughter a hug.

"Thanks for coming, dad." Kate said.

"Thanks for having me. Rick, Merry Christmas." Jim said as he shook the writer's hand.

"Merry Christmas, Jim. Please feel free to stop by at any time." Castle said.

"Oh, I have a feeling I will be stopping by much more frequently in the near future." Jim said with a wink. "Have a good night."

Castle waited until Jim got into his car and pulled away from the curb before he turned back to Kate and pulled her towards the elevator.

"So why is your dad stopping by more frequently in the near future/" Castle asked as the elevator doors closed and the elevator began to rise.

"He may have overheard me telling Lanie that we were going to start trying for a baby." Kate said.

"You told Lanie that we are going to try for a baby?" Castle asked more than slightly surprised. He figured that besides Alexis and Martha, they wouldn't be telling anyone until a couple months after she was actually pregnant, especially since they kept their relationship a secret for so long.

"Yeah. She couldn't figure out why you were so relaxed about Alexis when she was leaving in a couple of days and you know Lanie, her mind instantly went to the idea that I did something dirty to pull you our of your funk and seeing as how I'm pretty sure my dad heard her comment about the dirty video, I had to shut her up so I told her that we are going to try for a baby." Kate said.

"And your dad found out how?" Castle asked as they made their way to the loft door.

"Apparently, he was coming back from the bathroom and heard us talking." Kate said as she made her way into the loft.

"He doesn't want to kill me, right?" Castle asked.

"No, he doesn't want to kill you. After he got over the initial surprise he was excited." Kate said.

"Why was he surprised?" Castle asked.

"Because." Kate said as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Up until you, I never wanted to do the whole marriage and kids thing."

"And now you do?" Caste asked.

"Now I do, but only if it's with you. The only person I want and have ever wanted forever with was you." Kate said, leaning into give him a kiss to show him exactly what she was feeling.

"I only want those things with you too. Only you. Now what do you say we take this party to the bedroom. We can't make a baby yet, but we sure can practice." Castle said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"I like the way you think." Kate said with a smirk.

"I have been told on numerous occasions that I have a brilliant mind." Castle said.

"By who? Your Mother?" Kate asked.

"Hey, hey, hey. You want to have little Castle babies which means you love my mind. Plus you love my words which all come from my mind. So admit it, I have a brilliant mind." Castle said.

"I supposed that on most occasions your mind is pretty brilliant." Kate said.

"Now was that so hard?" Castle asked.

"Not at all, but then again, there's only one thing I enjoy being hard." Kate said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Oh really and what would that be?" Castle asked.

Instead of telling him, she showed him, grabbing his semi-erect cock through his jeans, giving it a light squeeze which caused Castle to slam his eyes shut as he took a sharp breath.

When he opened his eyes again, Kate was sauntering her way towards the office. When she reached the door, she turned around to find him staring at her.

"You coming writer boy?" she asked with a quirk of her eyebrow, the smirk still on her face as she pulled her shirt over her head and disappeared into the bedroom.

Castle's grin just grew. "I sure hope so."


	87. Chapter 87

Chapter 87:

Kate knew that while Castle was handling the whole "Alexis is going to college" thing right now, when it actually came time to fly across the country and leave her there, things weren't going to go quite as smoothly. So, she made a plan.

Ryan, Jenny, Esposito, and Lanie all had the next two weeks off and she knew that they could all use a vacation away from the city. So, after checking with Alexis to make sure it was okay, she asked them all to come with. They would all fly out together and help get Alexis settled since they had to buy pretty much everything but clothes once they got there, then they would fly to LA for a couple days so Castle could check in on the movie set which Paula has been bugging him to do for well over a month, and then finally they would round out their trip with a week and a half stay at a beach house much like the one in the Hamptons but this time in Miami, Florida.

She hoped that with the presence of their friends, Castle would hold it together until they were in the privacy of their own hotel room and not in front of Alexis and all her friends. That was the last thing Alexis needed on her first day of college.

"So how long do you think it will be before Castle starts crying?" Esposito asks with a smirk.

They are all standing around in the kitchen, waiting for Alexis and Castle to bring down the last of her suitcases so they can head to the airport.

"I give him until we get to LA." Ryan says.

"No way dude, he's probably already cup there blubbering away. That's probably why he is taking so long." Esposito says.

"Seriously guys? You know how close they are and you know this is hard enough for both of them without you two knuckleheads making comments like that." Kate says, shooting them her best Beckett glare.

"Come on Beckett, we were just messing around." Ryan said.

"Yeah, Becks. Besides, its bro code that anytime a man cries at anything other than their mama's funeral, then they are automatically subjected to being made fun of." Esposito adds.

"Oh really? Would you like to share with them how you were getting all teary eyed on the way over here saying how you were going to miss little castle?" Lanie remarked, her eyebrows raised with a smirk on her face.

"Chica!" Esposito growled.

"You were crying bro?" Ryan chuckled.

"Kev, you have no room to talk, you were getting all emotional last night too." Jenny adds.

"Jenny!" Ryan says, his face instantly going ghost white.

"Unless you want me to tell the entire precinct about your blubbering, I suggest you keep your mouths shut no matter what happens today." Kate hissed as Alexis and Castle came down the stairs carrying the last of her suitcases.

"Are you sure you've got everything pumpkin?" Castle asked.

"Yes dad. Even if I didn't, I'm sure I can get it when I'm there and I'm sure you can figure out a way to get it to me in California even if I couldn't." Alexis said.

"And you're sure you're ready for this? It's not too late to back out, there is nothing wrong with taking a semester off, starting in the fall." Castle said, slightly frantic.

"Kate, he's doing it again." Alexis called into the kitchen.

"C'mon Castle, let's go into the kitchen and relax for a little bit." Kate said as she came into the entry way and grabbed his hand intent on pulling him back into the kitchen.

"I have to help her bring her stuff down to the car." Castle said.

"The boys can help her with that, right guys?" Kate asked, leveling them a glare.

"Right, we got this Castle." Ryan said with Esposito following right behind him.

"Just go relax, we will be done in no time." Esposito added.

"Thanks guys." Alexis said as she picked up one of the smaller suitcases and made her way out of the loft followed by Esposito and Ryan.

"Is it too early for a drink?" Castle asked as he made his way into the kitchen with Kate, slumping into a chair, Kate wrapping one hand around his waist, the other one running through the hair at his neck which usually sooths him when he is upset.

"Yes. The last thing we need is you embarrassing Alexis any more than you probably already will and alcohol is not going to help that. You'll just have to wait until we get to the hotel tonight and then you can break open the mini bar." Kate said with a gentle smile.

"I just can't believe my baby girl is going away to college." Castle said, running his hands over his face.

"C'mon writer boy, your daughter is a genius, you knew it was only a matter of time before she went off to solve all the problems in the world." Lanie said.

"I know, it's just… I feel like it was just yesterday that we were having an epic laser tag battle." Castle said, a faraway look on his face like he was remembering some distant memory.

"That's because it was just yesterday." Kate said with a smirk.

In all fairness, it was pretty fun, Alexis and her gained up on Castle to the point where he tried to persuade his mother to join his team.

"You know what I mean. Remember the very first time you came to the loft?" Castle asked.

"How can I forget, you opened the door and pointed a gun at my face." Kate said with a chuckle that became a laugh when she saw the looks on Jenny and Lanie's face.

"Remember the case with the frozen woman?" Kate asked Lanie.

"Oh yeah, in the construction zone." Lanie said.

"Anyway," Kate said, leveling a glare at her friend. "I came over to the loft for the very first time right in the middle of a laser tag battle apparently, and Castle opened the door, decked out in his laser tag gear, pointing his gun at my face." Kate said with a chuckle.

"I'm surprised you didn't run for the hills." Castle said, the first signs of a smile on his face all day.

"What can I say, I thought the outfit made you look hot." Kate said with a big goofy grin which finally got Castle smiling.

"I know what you're doing, you're trying to distract me from the fact that my daughter is going to college by paying me compliments I know aren't true." Castle said.

"Are they working?" Kate asked.

"Yes. Thank you." Castle said, giving her a kiss.

"I don't know, Jenny, but I think these two can give you and honey milk a run for your money on the sick cuteness stuff." Lanie said.

"Shut up Lanie. C'mon stud, we need to get to the airport before we miss the plane." Kate said, pulling Castle up from the chair.

"Can't we just hide? Maybe if we miss the plane then Alexis will take it as a sign that she isn't meant to leave and then she will stay here." Castle said, refusing to let Kate drag him to the door.

"Castle, this is Alexis we are talking about. I'm pretty sure she will figure out that you're trying to make her miss the plane and as much as she loves you, I don't think she would hesitate in leaving you behind, you know how she is about college." Kate said.

"I just don't want her to go. I'm not ready." Castle said, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

"I know, Rick, but you have to let her go, let her experience the world for herself, build her own life just like you are building yours." Kate said.

When Castle didn't look convinced, she tried a different route.

"I'll let you in on a little secret if you promise me you'll behave yourself and stop trying to make Alexis feel guilty for leaving for college." Kate said, knowing that Castle would take the bait at the word secret.

"Can I hear the secret first, before I decide whether or not I'm going to behave?" Castle asked like the true five year old he is.

"No Castle, you have to agree that you are going to behave before I tell you the secret or otherwise you don't get to know the secret." Kate said, raising her eyebrows like that was the stupidest question he could possibly ask.

"Fine." Castle said with a huff.

"You agree to behave yourself?" Kate asked.

"I agree to behave myself." Castle promised.

"You can't tell Alexis because she would kill me, but I exchanged your ticket voucher that Alexis got you for one with no limits." Kate said.

"Why?" Castle asked his head snapping up.

"Because I know you, and I know how much you love your daughter. I don't want you to have to have a limit on when you can and can't go see your daughter." Kate said.

"Thank you, thank you, and thank you." Castle said, giving her a kiss after each thank you.

"There's one more thing though." Kate said.

"What?" Castle asked.

"I got myself a ticket too." Kate said.

"Wait, as in, you are going to come with me?" Castle asked, his eyes lighting up in excitement.

"Of course I'm going to come with you. We've been over this before Castle, the only reason I'm with you is for her." Kate said with a smirk.

"I think I've grown on you." Castle said with a wink.

"Maybe a little." Kate said.

"But really, thank you for this." Castle said.

"It was my pleasure. Just try not to go crazy? I was thinking we could make it a routine to go maybe once every month with a few additional visits here and there?" Kate asked.

"I think that sounds like something I can handle." Castle said.

"Good. Now let's go old man, we have a plane to catch."

_**Author's note: Well there we go, part one of their journey to bring Alexis to college. Hope you enjoy, should have more posted sometime tomorrow. **_

_**Also, I have an idea for a new story that I want to start working on after I finish with this one and I would like to make it a co-authored story. If you are interested, send me either a private message on here or send me a tweet on twitter jessmuir0407 and I will let you know what is entailed. **_

_**Thank you! Please Review!**_


	88. Chapter 88

Chapter 88:

A little over thirty minutes later, after having to repack the suitcases so they could see out the back window, they pulled into traffic to head towards the airport, Castle, Kate, Alexis, and Martha in one SUV, Esposito, Lanie, Ryan, and Jenny in the other.

Kate had volunteered to drive so Castle didn't have to worry about focusing on the road and could instead focus on talking to Alexis, but it had been twenty minutes since they left the loft and except for the occasional nod in response to something Alexis or Martha said, he hadn't said a word.

When they reached a red light, Kate glanced over at him and what she saw broke her heart. Castle was just sitting there, staring out the front window, a forced smile on his face even though his jaw was clenched and Kate knew that the reason why he wasn't saying anything because he was dangerously close to falling apart.

She wanted nothing more than to reach over and take his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze, to say anything that will make this easier on him. But she knew that anything she did would draw Alexis's attention to him and then instead of focusing on school like she should be, she will do nothing but worry about her dad, maybe even to the point where she convinces herself that going to college so far away was a mistake.

So, she put her eyes back on the road, deciding that she would pull Castle aside once they got to the airport and talk to him in private.

Unfortunately, by the time they actually managed to get to the airport, they were running way behind schedule which meant they literally had to run with their luggage to get it checked before quickly going through security, making it to their gate right when the last call announcement was made.

It also meant that Kate didn't get the chance to talk to Castle, but luckily, their rush to make the plane drove his earlier preoccupation out of his mind temporarily and while she know he would return to his previous state of mind once they were settled, Kate had splurged on first class tickets which meant that they would have privacy so Castle could speak his mind without worrying about anyone overhearing him, especially Alexis.

Sure enough, by the time they got in the air and the seat belt light flicked off, Kate turned to find Castle with the same expression he had on in the car except this time, he didn't have the forced smile on his face and he was furiously blinking back the tears threatening to spill over.

"Rick…" Kate said softly, reaching over to interlock their fingers, "Talk to me."

"I can't do this. I know I need to let her go, let her live her life and all that, but I'm not ready. All I can think about is what if something goes wrong, what if my little girl needs me and I can't get to her because I'm on the other side of the country." Castle said.

"Hey, look at me." Kate says, waiting until he looked at her before continuing. "Do you trust me?"

"With my life." Castle replied, just like he always does.

"Then trust me when I tell you that she is going to be fine. I can't tell you that there aren't going to be times when all she needs is a hug from her dad and it's going to be hard when you can't be there for her to give her one, but it will be okay. You will get on that phone and talk to her until you both feel better and eventually you will, eventually it will get better and it will get easier which doesn't means she doesn't need you or miss you, it just means that she's starting her life. If it is bad and she needs you there, I promise that I will do everything in my power to get you there and if for some reason you can't go I know that I would go in an instant, Martha would go in an instant, Esposito would go, Lanie would go, Ryan would go, Jenny would go, my dad would go, hell, I'm pretty sure even Gates would go if it came down to it. What I'm trying to say is, even though she may be alone, she had an entire family who would do anything for her, an entire family who would fly across the country at the drop of a hat if necessary." Kate said, snuggling into Castle's chest when he put his arms around her.

"She really does have an entire family of people who would do anything for her, doesn't she?" Castle asked, his voice noticeably more calm.

"She really does. Don't tell anyone I told you this, but after I made the plans for everyone to come with, I found Esposito and Ryan in the break room with the blueprints to Stanford, going over a security plan that they planned to talk to the head of security about." Kate said.

"Seriously?" Castle asked.

"Seriously. They love Alexis, probably because she brings them food, but they adore her. They had all of Alexis's classes marked, going over each individual route that she could take to get there, making sure that there were enough cameras installed to ensure that every inch of her journey would be caught on surveillance, they were going to demand that they have access to the security network so that they could pull up the surveillance whenever they want, and I'm pretty sure they were even going to set up some sort of alarm system so that whenever Alexis's door is opened, they would get an alert on their phones with video footage. Unfortunately, the head of security refused to meet with them because he was supposed to be out of town, so with the permission of Gates to use the threat of the NYPD resources, they are going to have to settle with making sure that the campus security pays special attention to Alexis to make sure she is safe and they are planning to threaten any boy that is in her dorm or shows an interest in her when we are out walking the campus, hence the reason they brought their guns and badges when they are otherwise off duty." Kate said.

"Wow. It's like they are protecting the President… I love it." Castle said with a big grin.

"See, I told you she was going to be fine. It never hurts to have cops on your side and Alexis had the entire city of New York on her side thanks to your connections." Kate said with a wink.

"It is not funny when someone loses their life, but never have I been more glad that someone used my books to murder someone during the Tisdale case." Castle said.

"I'll let that one slide just this once because I am glad that someone used your books too. Now, since you are feeling better, let's get you a drink so you can relax." Kate said as she pressed down the call button, ordering two drinks for them when the flight attendant came by to take their order.

"I thought you said no drinks for me until we got to LA?" Castle asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, well I don't think that one drink is going to do any harm and with the look you had on your face earlier, you need it before Alexis sees you like that and decides that she is going to stay at home forever." Kate said.

"I have absolutely no problem with that." Castle said.

"Hmm, well if she stays at home for the rest of her life, I'm never going to get to walk around the loft naked." Kate said, with a smirk on her face.

"Let's get that drink." Castle said, causing Kate to laugh.

"That's what I though, Mr. Castle." Kate said as she handed him his drink, clinking glasses before taking a generous sip.

"Hey, thank you. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here. I don't think I would have been able to get through today without embarrassing both myself and Alexis." Castle said.

"Always." Kate said with a smile, leaning over to give him a kiss. "Now relax and enjoy the flight."

"I know what would help me enjoy the flight even more." Castle said, his tone of voice rather suggestive.

"Do I even want to know?" Kate asked, turning to look at him to see him with a smirk on his face.

"I'm sure that it will help you enjoy the flight too." Castle said.

"Just spit it out Castle." Kate said, rolling her eyes.

Castle leaned over, putting his mouth right next to her ear before whispering, "We can always join the mile high club."

Kate couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine at the thought of sneaking off into the bathroom to have her wicked way with Castle, unfortunately they were not alone.

"Castle, Alexis, Martha, Esposito, Lanie, Ryan, and Jenny are all sitting behind us, if we go into that bathroom together; they are going to know exactly what we are doing. Do you really want your daughter to know that her father and his girlfriend are having sex in the bathroom of an airplane?" Kate asked, almost laughing at the way his face went from suggestive and aroused to disappointed and somewhat disgusted.

"Good point." Castle said, settling back into his seat, putting his head against his headrest, closing his eyes.

When Kate was sure that he was no longer expecting her to say anything, she began to run her hand up and down his thigh, getting dangerously high before leaning up to whisper in his ear just like he whispered in hers.

"There's always the flight to LA." She whispered, cupping him and giving him a quick squeeze before letting go so he knew exactly what she was talking about.

Judging by the fact that his usually blue eyes were now dark with arousal, he got her message.

"Why Detective Beckett, I am going to hold you to that." Castle said, leering at her like he wanted to rip her clothes off and take her right then and there, which of course sent her arousal straight to her core, before he leaned over to capture her lips in a kiss bordering on inappropriate.

"I expect nothing less from you Mr. Castle." Kate said, her voice a little breathless from the kiss and the wetness pooling between her legs.

For the rest of the ride, Castle and Beckett both did everything in their power to drive the other person into a frenzy without being obvious, ranging from running their hands up and down each other's legs in a way that would like comfort to anyone passing but was highly erotic to the both of them, or even just holding hands and rubbing circles on each other's palms, which really shouldn't have turned them on nearly as much as it did.

By the time they landed in California, both of them were in the need of either a hotel room or a cold shower. Luckily, Castle had brought his messenger bag with him onto the plane, which allowed him to strageically hide his arousal from his friends and family, which was highly amusing to Kate until he crowded into her back as they walked up the aisle to get off the plane, pressing his arousal into her backside, causing her breathing to deepen at the feeling of his very erect cock pressing against her ass.

The flight to LA couldn't come soon enough.

_**Author's Note: Well, there you go! I hoped you enjoyed it and I hope I captured the emotions we all know Castle would have if his daughter was going to college across the country. It's up to you guys whether or not you think I should carry through with the "joining the mile high club" plan when they finally do get on the plane to LA. If you would like to see that, then let me know, if not then let me know too. **_

_**Once again, I have a new story idea in the works for after I finish this story and I would like to have it be one that I co-author with someone on so if you are interested send me a private message! **_

_**Thank you and please review!**_


	89. Chapter 89

Chapter 89:

"So what's the plan?" Esposito asked after they got off the plane and managed to get all of Alexis's stuff in one SUV and the rest of it in the other.

"We need to stop at Alexis's dorm to drop off all her suitcases and then head to IKEA to get everything else she needs." Kate said.

"Are we all going together or should some of is head to IKEA and get started while the rest drop off the luggage. We have a little over 5 hours until we take off for LA and unless we want a repeat of this morning. I think it would be safe to head back to the airport in about three and a half hours." Jenny said, always planning ahead.

"I think that's a good idea. The admissions email said that either dad or myself could check in, so dad, Kate, Esposito, and Ryan can head back to the dorm and Grams, Lanie, Jenny, and myself can head to IKEA and get started." Alexis chipped in.

"Are you sure? IKEA really isn't that far from the dorm, we will have plenty of time to go to both places together." Kate said when she noticed how Castle's face immediately fell when Alexis suggested splitting up from him.

"It makes sense, Beckett. I don't know about you, but running through the airport with all our luggage once today was enough for me. We will save more time splitting up." Esposito said, earning him a slap on the back of the head from Lanie as she glared at him before looking at Castle, who was standing there, hands in his pocket, an expressionless look on his face, one that those at the precinct have seem many times over the years when Kate is adamant to get rid of Castle.

"Or we can all go to the dorms together, either way is fine with me." Esposito quickly added.

"Let's split up." Alexis decided, eager to get shopping, unaware of her dad's reaction to the suggestion.

"Okay, well, uh, we will meet at IKEA then?" Jenny asked, clearly wishing she had kept her mouth shut.

"Yeah, we shouldn't be too long." Kate said, trying to silently convey to Jenny that she shouldn't feel bad, she was just trying to help.

With that, Martha, Alexis, Jenny, and Lanie made their way to one car while Kate and Castle made their way to the other, unaware that Esposito and Ryan weren't following.

"Hey Beckett, Castle, we're going to catch a cab. We'll meet you at IKEA." Esposito said, getting their attention.

"Why?" Beckett asked, slightly confused.

"Uh, security building is on the other side of campus, much easier to take separate vehicles." Ryan quickly added.

Security building? The head of security wasn't even here, they had no reason to visit the security building.

She was about to question them again when she noticed Esposito's eyes quickly flick to Castle then back to her, silently trying to convey a message.

That's when it clicked.

Esposito and Ryan could read Castle just as well as she could sometimes and they knew that right now, the only thing that could fix this was Kate so they were giving them the privacy they needed.

"Oh, okay. We will meet you there then. Make sure Alexis is well protected." Kate said, mouthing a silent thank you before turning back to get in the car.

While she knew that it was right to push Castle to talk on the plane, she knew that right now, the best thing to do was let him sort through his thoughts and talk when he was ready. So without a word, she silently drove towards Alexis's dorm.

Barely five minutes later, she heard Castle let out a sigh which was his way of letting her know that the silence was too much.

"We didn't even make it out of the parking lot of the airport before Alexis was trying to get rid of me." Castle said, sounding utterly defeated.

"Rick, you know that she is just excited and isn't trying to get rid of you." Kate said.

"Kate, I'm not an idiot. Everyone noticed my little meltdown, even Jenny who I've seen maybe three times before today, so my daughter probably noticed too and she still wanted to split up." Castle said, his voice laced with a little bit of anger, probably at the situation and at her for trying to convince him that his daughter wasn't trying to get rid of him.

"Castle stop. I noticed because I know you. Lanie noticed because she knows me. The only reason Esposito noticed was because Lanie smacked him on the back of the head when Alexis wasn't looking and the only reason Jenny and Ryan noticed was because they saw Lanie smack Esposito on the back of the head. Out of everyone there, I know that Martha knows you best and she didn't notice. If Martha didn't notice, it means that you did a good job of hiding it which is why Alexis didn't notice. She's just excited and running on the adrenaline of starting college, there is no other explanation for it and no other reason." Kate said.

"I guess." Castle said, not sounding the slightest bit convinced.

The car fell silent as Castle sat there sulking while Kate wracked her brain to try and think of something to help this situation.

"Can I tell you a story?" Kate asked, the light bulb going off.

"Do I have a choice?" Castle asked.

"No, not really." Kate said.

"Then by all means." Castle said, rather sarcastically, which Kate decided to ignore given the circumstances.

"When my parents took me to Stanford my first year, I was a lot like Alexis, couldn't wait to get into my dorm room and be on my own for the first time in my life, no rules, no parents, just me. It was a new experience, an exciting experience and I couldn't wait until I finally got to say goodbye to my parents. So, once we got to the dorms, I literally got as many people as I could to help me carry my things to my dorm to make it go as fast as possible." Kate said.

"Sounds like Alexis." Castle mumbled.

"It was exactly like Alexis. I'm pretty sure we got everything in my room in under ten minutes and I refused to let my parents help me unpack and didn't mention the parent/student lunch because I was determined to get them out of their as fast possible, but you know what happened?" Kate asked.

"What?" Castle asked.

"Once all the excitement of the day wore off and I was lying their in bed later that night, I realized that for the first time in my life, I was alone and for the first time that day, I didn't want to be. I realized that I should have taken longer to say goodbye to my parents and let them stay as long as they could. I ended up on the phone with them, crying my eyes out, begging them to come back." Kate said.

"What did they say?" Castle asked.

"They were already back in New York so of course they couldn't come back, but we had an extended weekend a couple weeks later and they flew out to spend it with me and that time I made sure that they stayed until the last possible moment." Kate said.

"So what you're saying is that I should let Alexis push me away and practically beg me to leave, just to have to sit there and listen to her cry, begging me to come back?" Castle asked, looking at her like she was crazy.

"What I'm saying, is there is a reason we are going to LA for a couple days rather than straight to Florida." Kate said.

"Because you said Paula called you to tell you I need to visit the movie set because I wouldn't listen to her." Castle said, not following her train of thought.

Kate just waited for it to click.

"Wait a minute, I've seen Paula at least once a week in the past month and she never mention anything about visiting the set?" Castle questioned, his eyes scrunching in confusion.

"Exactly." Kate said with a smirk.

"I'm confused." Castle admitted.

"I knew that just like every other college kid, Alexis would be eager to start on this new, exciting adventure called college and would probably be eager to get us to leave. I also knew that just like me, once the excitement wore off and it all sunk in, she would miss you. So, since I knew she would never go for you staying here for a couple days, I made up the LA, visiting the set excuse knowing that Alexis would believe it, but it would also allow us to be close enough that if for some reason we did have to come back we were only a couple of miles away." Kate explained.

"So we aren't going to the movie set?" Castle asked.

"No we are. I though it would be cool for everyone to see it since your books are basically based off of our lives and while we were here, why not get a visit out of the way so that Paula doesn't actually start bugging you to visit." Kate said with a shrug.

"You truly are extraordinary." Castle said, looking at her with nothing but love and admiration.

"You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Castle. Now let's go get your daughter checked in so we can get back to your daughter."

_**Author's note: Another chapter done! I noticed that I'm not getting as many reviews as I usually do. Is this story getting to be too long? I can always split it up if it is so let me know. **_

_**I know that some things probably aren't even close to being right, like flight times and such, but just go with it. Those things aren't really essential to the story so I would rather get more chapters out to you guys than spending hours researching the logistics of a flight from New York to California and such. **_

_**And one last time, I have another story idea to start after I finish this one and I want to make it a coauthored story so if you are interested shoot me off a private message. **_


	90. Chapter 90

Chapter 90:

While Castle waited in line to check in Alexis, Kate stood off to the side, not wanting to get in the way. There was no reason that both of them had to stand in line.

Kate watched Castle approach the young woman on the right side of the table, rolling her eyes when the woman fixed her hair and subtly adjusted her rather large breasts when Castle bent down to sign the check in form.

Kate could tell that Castle was obviously uncomfortable with the fact that this woman was flirting with him, judging by the fact that he had his force, I'm meeting a fan, smile on and while Kate knew that she had nothing to worry about, that Castle was no longer interested in women like this, that he hadn't been interested in women like this for a long time, she couldn't help the twinge of jealousy that took root in her gut, but just like she always did, she pushed the feeling aside and instead stood there, watching with rapt attention, making sure that she was prepared if this woman overstepped.

Jaw clenched, she watched as the woman kept her fingers lingering on Castle's a beat longer than necessary when she handed him the keys, the way she explained each paper individually, leaning over to give Castle a view down her shirt, even whispered into his ear. It wasn't until she saw her take out a sharpie and rather forcefully grab Castle's hand, probably intending to give him her number, that Kate had enough and decided it was time for her to make a move.

"Babe," Kate said, approaching Castle, a smug smirk on her face when she saw the woman freeze, letting go of Castle's hand. "You've been over here for awhile, is everything okay? Did you get Alexis signed in?" Kate asked, wrapping her arms around Castle's waist.

"Everything is perfect, I'm all done." Castle said, a look on his face that Kate couldn't quite place at the moment.

"Have a nice day, Mr. Castle." the flirtatious woman said, more than a twinge of disappointment and annoyance in her voice as Castle nodded to her before leading Kate away from the table towards the dorm.

"What?" Kate asked when she realized that Castle was still staring at her with that same look.

"Jealousy looks good on you." Castle said, a slight smirk appearing on his face.

Oh, that's what that look was, he was gloating because she wasn't her usually cool and collected self.

"I was not jealous." Kate said, hoping her detective voice would shut him up, but this was Castle and she was very obviously jealous, he wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Really? You called me babe and practically marked your territory. I'm surprised you didn't throw me down on the table and take me right then and there just to make sure she got the picture." Castle said.

"Shut up." Kate said, blushing, a little bit of her insecurities shining through her tough façade and that's when Castle realized that maybe there was some truth behind her jealousy, that she thought he would eventually leave her.

"You do know that I wasn't interested?" Castle said, suddenly serious.

"What?" Kate asked, not following his train of thought.

"That woman, you do know I wasn't even the slightest bit interested in her right?" Castle asked.

"Oh yeah, I know. She practically shoved her boobs in your face and you didn't even notice, I'm pretty sure anyone who was watching you and didn't know who you were would have thought you were gay." Kate said with a slight smirk.

"I didn't notice, because the only breasts I'm interested in are these ones." Castle said, quickly brushing his thumb across her nipple with the hand that was resting over her shoulders.

"Castle!" Kate hissed, smacking him in the chest.

"What?" Castle asked innocently, his smile growing when she tried to glare at him, but couldn't, knowing very well that she liked his bold move.

"You're incorrigible." Kate said.

"Only for you." Castle said as the reached the Alexis's dorm.

It took them a little over a half an hour to get all Alexis's things into her room before they made their way back to the car, passing the woman who had her sights on Castle earlier.

He didn't miss the way that Kate possessively wrapped her arms around his waist, but decided that this time he wasn't going to comment on it.

Twenty minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot at IKEA, making their way into the store hand in hand, finding Alexis and the gang on the third floor with two carts already filled to the brim with stuff.

"Dad! Took you long enough." Alexis said, running over to give him a hug, which didn't go unnoticed by Kate who gave him an "I told you so" grin even as the tenderness at the scene shined through her eyes.

"Sorry pumpkin, Kate got into a fight with your RA." Castle said with a huge grin.

"What?" Alexis asked, turning to Kate with wide eyes.

"Don't listen to him Alexis, I didn't get in a fight with your RA. I just made it perfectly clear that your father was taken." Kate clarified.

"A fan?" Alexis asked, turning to her dad.

"Apparently my biggest fan." Castle said, linking his arm with his daughter's leading her away to continue their shopping.

"So, someone got a little jealous, did she?" Lanie asked as her and Kate followed Castle and Alexis.

"Shut up." Kate grumbled.

"So what happened?" Lanie asked.

"I simply walked over to them when she went to write her phone number on his hand and asked what was taking so long." Kate said.

"That's staking your claim?" Lanie asked, eyebrows raised.

"I also may have called him babe and wrapped my arms around him rather possessively." Kate said, blushing.

"You go girl. Wait, please tell me Castle wasn't flirting with her right in front of you?" Lanie asked, knowing that Castle tended to flirt with his fans as part of his public image.

"No, it was actually quite funny. He was completely oblivious to the fact that this woman was flirting with him until she went to give him her phone number. She was quite literally shoving her boobs in his face and he didn't even notice, just went on asking all these questions about the paper she handed him." Kate said with a smile.

"He's a good man. He seems to be feeling better too." Lanie said.

"Yeah, I told him about when I went to college and told him that while Alexis is eager to get rid of him right now, she will be missing him later which is why we are going to LA instead of heading straight to Florida so that if it comes down to it, we can fly back." Kate said.

"Smart woman. I'm pretty sure she's got pretty much everything. I'm telling you, if me and Javi ever have kids, they better hope they have good looks because I don't know how we are ever going to afford all this." Lanie said.

"Well, maybe I'll just have to give your kids rather large sums of money for each birthday." Kate said with a wink.

"Oh really? Using Castle for his money are we?" Lanie asked.

"Nope. A couple weeks after we started dating, he told me about the Nikki Heat account. Anything he makes off of Nikki Heat goes into that account and he basically told me it was mine." Kate said.

"I knew I should have stolen that man when I had the chance." Lanie said.

"Please. He had eyes for me the whole time." Kate said with a smirk.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

A little over a half an hour later, they finally reached the check out line, Alexis content that she had everything she would need. It probably didn't help that Castle insisted on putting anything in the cart that Alexis wasn't sure about, saying he would rather have her not need it and have it that need it and not have it.

Ten minutes later, with the trunk packed with everything you could ever need for college, they made their way back towards campus.

Kate could tell that Castle became more and more anxious the closer they got, knowing it was only a matter of time before they had to say goodbye, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before, which was a good thing.

When they reached the dorm, they all piled out of the SUV's, each grabbing a bag in each hand to carry it up to the room.

Castle of course, pointed out the woman who had been flirting with him to Esposito and Ryan, who noticed and started making eyes at Esposito until Lanie noticed and laid one big, wet kiss on an unsuspecting Esposito, who then stumbled after Lanie, the woman long forgotten, standing there with a shocked expression on her face at striking out twice in one day.

In a matter of no time, they had everything brought up to her room and arranged on her side, an awkward silence falling over the group as they stood around the car, knowing that it was time to say goodbye.

"Have a good time at college, Alexis." Jenny said, hand in hand with Ryan.

"If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call little Castle, or you know send cookies." Ryan said with a big grin as he gave her a hug and then stepped out of the way.

"Goodbye my darling granddaughter!" Martha said, swooping in dramatically with tears in her eyes.

"Bye Grams. I promise I'll call you as much as possible." Alexis said.

"I have no doubt you will." Martha exclaimed.

"See ya Lex. If you have any problems with any of these older college guys, let me know, I know a few guys." Esposito said, wrapping Alexis in a hug.

"Thanks Espo, but I think I'll be fine." Alexis said with a chuckle.

"Girl, don't be a stranger. The morgue is going to be a lonely place without you there, now I'll just have Perlmutter to keep me company." Lanie said, cringing.

"Don't worry Lanie, I promise that I'll come visit you when I'm back in New York, and like I said before I plan on continuing to work with you during the summer." Alexis said.

"You better. But try not to get to far ahead of me, I can't have you passing me up in your first year." Lanie said with a wink.

The only people left to say goodbye were Kate and Castle and the rest of the group suddenly seemed very interested in something a safe distance away.

"We're going to miss you pumpkin." Castle said, his voice tight with the lump forming in his throat.

"I'm going to miss you guys too. Promise you won't forget about me?" Alexis asked.

"Oh Lex, we couldn't forget about you if we tried. You're far too important." Kate said wrapping her arm around the young girl, the other one being held in Castle's large hands rather tightly.

"Promise you'll call me the second you find out I'm going to be a big sister?" Alexis asked.

"I promise you'll be the first to know. Except maybe Lanie, you know how she is." Kate said with a wink.

"Yeah, sometimes I think she can read minds." Alexis said with a watery chuckle. "Dad, don't get into too much trouble while I'm gone."

"I won't. Besides, Kate will be there and you know she doesn't like to have fun." Castle said, earning himself a slap in the chest.

"She's good for you, don't ruin it." Alexis said as she gave her dad a hug.

"I won't. Promise me you'll call if you need anything, even if it's just to talk? If I don't answer call Kate or Grams or Esposito, Ryan, Lanie, Jenny, Jim, hell even call Gates if none of us answer." Castle said, more than a little choked up.

"I promise dad. I'm going to be fine." Alexis said.

"I know, I don't know if I will be though." Castle said.

"Please dad, you have the attention span of a knat, you'll be back to playing laser tag in no time." Alexis said.

"I suppose you're right. Well, we really have to go. Are you sure you have everything?" Castle asked.

"I'm positive." Alexis said.

"Well, I guess this is it then. See you at Thanksgiving?" Castle asked.

"See you at thanksgiving." Alexis confirmed, giving Kate one more hug, before giving her dad another hug.

Taking Castle's hand, she gave him a squeeze turning to practically drag him towards their SUV.

"Kate?" Alexis called out before she could get in the driver's side.

"Yeah?" Kate asked, turning back to the young girl.

"Take care of him?" Alexis asked.

"Always."

_**Author's Note: Awww poor Castle**____** I hope I did this justice, I've never actually gone away to college or gone with someone who went away to college so I don't really know how it goes. Hopefully I did a good job, if not I apologize! **_

_**Thank you for all the reviews, I know it's petty to ask for reviews, but I just wanted to make sure you were all still interested and you definitely are!**_


	91. Chapter 91

Chapter 91:

Thanks to Jenny's planning, they managed to get to their gate thirty minutes before they were scheduled to board.

Martha had already disappeared to catch up with one of her friends. She had let Kate know earlier that week that she would be staying in LA even though Kate said she was more than welcome to come with them to Florida.

Kevin and Jenny had disappeared to scavenge the many gift shops that they passed in hopes of finding little trinkets to bring back to their nieces and nephews.

Esposito and Castle went off in search of coffee and lunch for themselves and Lanie and Beckett who had stayed behind to watch everyone's carry on bags so they didn't have to lug them all over the airport.

"How you holding up?" Lanie asked once they were alone.

"I'm fine." Kate automatically replied.

"Girl, I've known you long enough to know that when you say you're fine, you really aren't." Lanie said.

"Really Lanie, I'm fine. At this point in time I think because I'm so busy making sure Rick is fine it hasn't really hit me, but I'm sure once we get settled, I'll be just as eager to hear from her as Rick, though I don't know why, she isn't technically my daughter." Kate said.

"Girl, you know you two have gotten close over the past few months. She may not be you're daughter, but she's still family, just like Esposito and Ryan are you're brothers. Family isn't about sharing blood, it's about sharing love and you've adored Alexis since who knows when." Lanie said.

"I know. She's a great kid." Kate said.

"She definitely is. I don't know how she turned out so great with the two knuckleheads that raised her." Lanie chuckled.

"I ask myself that question every day. You know, its funny, I kept telling Rick that he had to let her go, but when we went to say goodbye, I almost had myself convinced that it was a mistake for her to go to college across the country, that I needed her close by just as much as Rick did. I'll tell you one thing, the next one is not leaving the state." Kate said.

"You're really going to do it, aren't you?" Lanie asked.

"Do what?" Kate asked.

"Have a baby." Lanie clarified.

"Yeah, I really am. I can't wait until I see the positive sign on the pregnancy test and get to watch Castle's face light up when I tell him he is going to be a father again. I'm even excited for the little things like picking out the color to the nursery and sitting there, listening to Castle talk to my growing stomach." Kate said.

"Who are you and what have you done with my Kate Beckett?" Lanie asked.

"I know! It's totally disgusting isn't it? We haven't even started trying and I'm already a sap. The other day when I was doing some last minute shopping, I found myself in the baby aisle and I almost bought this cute little onesie. I was so horrified with myself, I ran out of the store without buying anything." Kate said.

"And it doesn't scare you? Being a mom with you're job and all?" Lanie asked.

"Before I met Rick and thought about kids, I was terrified, knew that I wouldn't bring a child into this world only to die and turn them into me. But if I've learned anything in the past year, it's that bad things happen and you can't stop living your life because they do. Yes, I might get shot and killed on the job, but I could also live until I'm old and grey and I don't want to regret not doing things just because I'm scared. Plus, I know that if something did happen to me, that baby would be surrounded by people who won't let it become me." Kate said.

"Wow. I so wish I could video tape you right now and go show the tape to the Beckett you were six months ago." Lanie said.

"I know, it's amazing isn't it?" Kate asked with a smile.

"What's amazing?" Castle asked, coming up behind them with a tray of coffee and sandwich bags from the sub station.

"How Alexis turned out so perfectly with her gene pool." Kate said without missing a beat.

"I think usually in this situation, I'm supposed to be offended, but I agree with you on this one. I just hope that any future children we have, have you're looks and you're brains." Castle said to Kate.

"As long as they have your eyes." Kate said, giving Castle a kiss and totally missing the look Esposito gave Lanie who shook her head and mouthed later.

Unfortunately, or fortunately for some, the moment was ruined by the arrival of Kevin and Jenny, Kevin immediately telling Castle and Beckett to get a room which sent Martha, who arrived shortly after, into a tale about a whirlwind weekend romance she had with a gentleman she met in an airport only to never see him again. It was safe to say that nobody was hungry anymore.

Since they were first class, they got to board the flight first, ordering drinks almost immediately after the long, emotional day they had. Plus, Kate needed some liquid encouragement for what she had planned.

As the flight pulled out of the terminal and onto the runway, Castle was oblivious to the thoughts running through his girlfriend's head, silently bopping his head to whatever rogue song only he could hear.

When the plane finally leveled off and the seat belt light clicked off, Kate downed the rest of her drink and leaned over to whisper in Castle's ear before she lost her nerve.

"I'm going to the bathroom. Wait five minutes and the come back and knock twice without being obvious to what we are doing." Kate said before unlocking her seat belt and leaving.

Castle sat there stunned. When he had suggested they join the mile high club earlier he had only been joking, okay, mostly joking. It had always been one of his fantasies to have sex with Kate on a plane, though usually in his fantasies she was in a skimpy little flight attendants outfit, but that's all it had been, a fantasy. He never thought Kate would actually go for it yet she had very clearly just suggested it.

Glancing at his watch, he realized that his five minutes were up. Downing the rest of his drink, he quickly looked around to make sure no one was watching before quickly making his way to the bathroom, knocking twice before the door swung open and he was quite literally dragged into the bathroom.

"Did Castle just go back to the bathroom?" Esposito asked Lanie who was sitting there with a smirk on her face.

"yup." Lanie replied.

"But Beckett just went to the bathroom?" Esposito said.

"That she did." Lanie replied cryptically.

"Oh. _Oh!_ Seriously? They couldn't wait an hour until we got to LA? What if I have to go to the bathroom, I don't want to go in there after they did the nasty!" Esposito whined.

Meanwhile, Castle was standing against the door, staring at Kate who had flushed cheeks, eyes dark with arousal.

"Took you long enough. I thought you were going to ditch me." Kate said.

"I couldn't believe this was actually happened. I've dreamed of this many times, but I never thought it would become reality." Castle said, his fingers itching to touch her.

"Oh really? What do these fantasies entail? Kate asked, stepping forward with her usual confidence, a slight smirk on her face as she began to unbutton his shirt, looking up at him through dark, heavy eyelashes.

"Well, usually, you're in the skimpiest flight attendants outfit, the skirt barely covering your perfectly, round ass." Castle said as he ran his hands down to her ass, giving it a good squeeze before pulling her into him, her hips flush with his.

"Oh really, so you've only dreamt of flight attendant me, not real me?" Kate asked, freeing Castle of his shirt before running her hands over his smooth chest.

"I have only dreamt of flight attendant you, but this, so much better!" Castle growled before bringing his lips to hers in a heated kiss, his tongue immediately seeking access to her mouth as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pushing her back into the small counter that held the sink.

Working his way down to her neck, his hips involuntarily bucked when she let out a soft moan, the same moan he first heard in the alley almost a year ago, his erection throbbing painfully as it strained against his jeans.

Reaching up with his hands as he continued his assault on her neck, Castle began to massage her breasts through her dress before deciding it wasn't enough, removing the straps from her shoulders, pulling the top of her dress down so it bunched around her waist as he leaned forward, taking one of her breasts in his mouth, loving the way Kate's hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to increase the sensations.

"Castle…" Kate moaned, needing more, needing him to touch her.

Castle immediately understood what she wanted, flipping her around so her back was to his chest.

Sucking on her neck, Castle once again brought one hand to her exposed breasts, tweaking her nipples, causing her to press her backside into his erection, while his other hand made its descent downwards, finding its way under her dress and between her legs where he almost instantly froze everything he was doing, making Kate whine in protest.

"You're not wearing any underwear." Castle pointed out, running his fingers against her clit in small, light circles to drive home his point.

"I know, didn't put them on this morning just in case." Kate moaned as he increased his pressure on her slightly.

"You mean to tell me you've been sitting next to me with no panties on all day?" Castle asked, the thought alone almost enough to make him combust.

"Yes." Kate replied, breathlessly.

That was the last straw for Castle, he needed to be inside her and he needed to be inside her now.

Taking a step backwards, he guided Kate forward so her hands were resting on the counter, raising her dress to reveal her bare ass while simultaneously unbuttoning his pants, pushing them down to his ankles along with his boxers, his throbbing erection springing free.

Nudging Kate's legs apart a little bit more, Castle ran the tip of his cock through her wetness a couple of times before teasing her entrance, making her squirm.

"Castle… please…" Kate begged.

On any other day, Castle would have continued to tease her, especially when she kept the state of her undergarments or rather lack of undergarments a secret from him, but unless he did something soon this was going to end before it started.

With one smooth thrust, Castle buried himself all the way into her before almost immediately pulling out, not giving her time to adjust before setting a quick pace.

When he felt himself getting close, he pulled Kate up so her back was flush against his, reaching around to put pressure on her clit. The pressure of his fingers along with the sensations caused from the new angle were enough to push Kate over the edge, Castle right behind her as they bit their lips, drawing blood to prevent from screaming out.

After catching their breaths, they cleaned themselves up and redressed, embracing in one more passionate kiss before Kate slipped out of the bathroom followed by Castle as they returned to their seats, cheeks flushed, lips swollen and huge "I just got laid" smiles on their face.

Twenty minutes later, their plane touched down in LAX and after getting their bags and saying farewell to Martha, they made their way out to the entrance where a limo was waiting to take them to the hotel.

Once they were all seated, Lanie and Esposito barely wasted a minute before turning to Castle and Beckett with identical shit-eating grins on their face.

"So, Castle, Beckett… Enjoy the flight?"

_**Author's Note: Mile high club… complete! Feel special, we are going shopping today as a family and I wrote this last night so I got up early just for all of you to type it and post it before I left. I hope you enjoy and please review!**_


	92. Chapter 92

Chapter 92:

By the time they got to the hotel, Kate was exhausted. She had barely gotten any sleep the previous night because she couldn't bring herself to go to sleep while Castle was up worrying about the next day. That combined with the emotional rollercoaster she had been through that day and her mile high activities had her thinking of one thing and one thing only, falling into bed and sleeping well into the afternoon the next day.

As she stumbled through their door, eyes half closed, she dropped her bags in the entry way and blindly made her way to the nearest bedroom, missing the expectant look on Castle's face as he stood there, waiting for her to realize where they were.

It wasn't until he came into the room with their suitcases and started to unpack their clothes so they wouldn't wrinkle that she noticed the look on his face and knew that something was wrong.

He knew that Alexis was going to call in about an hour when she got back from the freshman orientation meeting, so that wasn't what was bothering him so it had to be something else, but what?

"Castle?" she asked, watching his face for any clue as to what was going on.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah. Do you want the bathroom first?" Castle asked, glancing at her quickly before avoiding her eyes.

Well, that answers that question, the only time he avoids eye contact with her is when he is upset with her, but is trying to hide the fact that he is upset.

"Rick, talk to me, whatever it is we can fix it." Kate tried again.

"It's nothing, really. Don't worry about it." Castle said, still avoiding eye contact.

Rolling out of bed, determined to settle this now so they could enjoy their vacation, Kate walked up to stand in front of Castle, taking his clothes out of his hand and throwing them onto the dresser before taking his hand and pulling him over to the bed, pushing him down so he was sitting on the end, standing in front of him with her arms wrapped around his shoulders, bending down to give him a kiss, not separating from him until she felt his shoulders sag, knowing that he would talk now.

"The last time we were here, it was because someone close to you was murdered. At the time, you were still with Josh so I couldn't really do anything other than being there, which I know helped, but all I could think about that weekend was how I wanted to show you that even though bad things happen, there are so many good things in the world that outweigh the bad. I wanted you to associate LA with good times instead of the memories that you had because of why we were here, but we never got the chance. So when you told me that we were going to be coming back to LA, I knew this was my chance to recreate the weekend, to give you the weekend I wanted to give you then. I planned everything out to the T, even down to the smallest detail like making sure I booked the same hotel room as the last time, but I guess it was a stupid plan because you didn't even notice, didn't care." Castle said, looking down at the floor, his cheeks slightly pink with embarrassment.

How could this man be so perfect?

"Rick," Kate said, cupping his cheeks with both hands to make him look at her. "That has got to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, which is saying something because you are constantly doing outrageously sweet things for me, but just because I didn't notice, doesn't mean that I don't care. I didn't notice because my amazing boyfriend wore me out with incredibly, mind blowing sex on the airplane and I couldn't even keep my eyes open, I'm lucky I found the bed without tripping over something. But I am positive that once I managed to keep my eyes open for more than five minutes, I would have noticed where we were because the last time we came to LA was important to me too." Kate said.

Castle looked up at her, searching her eyes to see if she was telling the truth or just saying this to make him feel better. He must have like what he was seeing because his entire face relaxed and his entire face lit up into a huge, goofy grin.

"Incredible, mind blowing sex, huh?" he asked, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Kate rolled her eyes, leave it to Castle to go from serious to 5-year old in the blink of an eye.

"Really? After everything I said, that's what you focused on?" Kate asked, even as her face broke into a smile, glad to have her Castle back as she sat down in his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck, his arms wrapped around her waist to keep her from falling onto the floor.

"What can I say, I hear the words incredibly mind blowing sex come out of your beautifully talented mouth and I'm a goner. If it helps, we can have some more incredibly mind blowing sex to make it up to you." Castle said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Slow down Casanova, I'm going to be out the second my head hits that pillow and I'm pretty sure your fragile ego couldn't handle it if I fell asleep on you during sex." Kate said as she stood up and made her way over to the dresser to get her pajamas.

"Kate…" Castle whined.

"I'm going to go take a shower. Order us some dinner because I'm starving and talk to your daughter then we'll talk." Kate said, giving him a kiss before disappearing into the bathroom.

Wanting to give Castle some privacy while he talked to Alexis since he was surrounded by her and their friends the entire day, Kate purposely took her time, taking as long as possible to strip her clothes and take a shower.

There was just one problem with that… as she stood there, her mind started to wander to her conversation with Castle about incredible, mind blowing sex, which of course led to her thinking about her earlier escapades on the plane and before she knew it, one hand found its way to her breasts while the other found its way between her legs as she fell over the edge, praying that Castle wasn't in the room as she called out his name, knowing that she would never live it down if he found out exactly what she was doing.

Turning the water from hot to cold to subdue the arousal still coursing through her veins, she quickly finished her shower, drying herself off before getting dressed, deciding to forgo panties and a bra, knowing that in her current state, she wouldn't be able to keep her hands off of Castle and it would only be a matter of time before her clothes came off again anyway.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Castle was just getting off the phone with Alexis. Dropping her clothes into the portable hamper they had brought, she turned around to see Castle watching her with a slight smirk on his face.

"What?" she asked, suddenly self conscious.

"Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on talking to my daughter when my girlfriend is in the bathroom moaning my name?" Castle asked, his eyes twinkling with amusement and arousal.

"You could have left the room." Kate said, with a smirk.

"Do you know that it's even harder to leave the room when your girlfriend is in the bathroom moaning your name than it is to talk to your daughter while your girlfriend is in the bathroom moaning your name?" Castle practically growled.

"Well, next time I'll make sure I keep it down." Kate said with a wink.

"Oh no, there is no need to keep it down. It was incredibly hot, even if it was slightly distracting. Just next time let me watch. Now let's go eat so I can finish what you started." Castle said, taking her hand and dragging her into the living room where a little bit of everything was spread out on the coffee table in front of the couch.

And he did. Their incredible, mind blowing plane sex… nothing compared to the things Castle did to her that night.

The next morning, the entire group met for breakfast down in the hotel restaurant before heading out for a tour of the _Heat Wave_ set, or at least Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, and Jenny were getting a tour of the set.

Castle had asked her if she wanted to go with them, but she had already seen the set the last the time they were there so she decided that she was going to stick with Castle.

Truthfully, she would have rather gone on the tour, but she knew that Natalie Rhodes was there and she knew that the woman would do everything in her power to seduce Castle and while she trusted him, she didn't trust her and she wanted to make sure Natalie knew that Castle was taken.

So after breakfast, they all piled into the SUV Castle called for earlier that morning and took off towards the studio, dropping everyone off at the predetermined destination for the tour, but not before totally creeping Esposito and Ryan out as they told them about how eerily similar the actors playing their characters in the movie were, cracking up at the looks on their faces as they pulled away.

Castle had to meet with the directors who had their own little air conditioned home. Kate thought at first that since Natalie was an actor, she wouldn't be there, but she should have known better, should have known that Natalie wouldn't pass up the opportunity to see Castle and get another shot at him.

As soon as Castle entered the trailer, hand in hand with Kate, he was practically attacked by the actress herself, who had a huge smile on her face. Kate tried to let go of Castle's hand to step out of the way, but when she went to pull her hand away, Castle tightened his hold on her, which made her smile, knowing that he was just as uncomfortable with this as she was.

Natalie must have noticed that Castle was half heartedly hugging her and with only one hand because she pulled away to give him a questioning look, the smile dropping off her fast incredibly fast when she realized that the reason Castle was hugging her with one hand is because his other one was still entwined with hers.

Kate couldn't help the smug smile that took over her face as Castle pulled her into his side. Usually she would be pissed at him for so blatantly showing her off, giving him a speech about how she wasn't one of her blonde bimbos, wasn't some piece of arm candy, but today she just couldn't bring herself to care as Natalie's smile fell even more only to be replaced with a scowl.

"Everyone, I would like you to meet my girlfriend, Detective Kate Beckett and of course the inspiration for Nikki Heat." Castle said, beaming at her with such pride, she almost forgot there were other people in the room.

"Oh, I didn't realize you two were still together." Natalie said, not even attempting to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"We are." Kate said, patting his chest, looking up at him, not even attempting to hold back the love radiating from her eyes. "Even convinced me to move in with him."

Natalie didn't even respond, just huffed and walked away as Castle leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"I'm loving this whole possessive thing and by all means, please continue, but just so you know, I love you and you have nothing to worry about." Castle said, placing a kiss before pulling away and taking her hand in his, leading her towards the director.

After Castle reintroduced her to the director, he had to take care of something really quick which meant that she would be left alone with none other than Natalie Rhodes.

It wasn't her favorite idea, but it was better than Castle being left alone with Natalie Rhodes.

Natalie on the other hand saw this as the perfect opportunity to plant some seeds of doubt in the detectives mind. If there was one thing that didn't happen, it was someone saying no to her, Natalie Rhodes, especially some sub-par novelist and as long as she was alone with his girlfriend, she might as well use the time to her advantage.

Even thought she was in rehab at the time, she knew that Castle and his detective friend had paid a visit to the set about a year ago, and she could use that to her advantage if she asked the right questions.

"So, have you ever been to LA before?" Natalie asked, studying the detective over her magazine.

"Um, yeah. I came with Castle about a year ago." Kate replied.

"Romantic getaway?" Natalie pushed.

"No, uh, we weren't together then, I was with someone else… we came for a police investigation." Kate said, really not wanting to talk about this with anyone let alone Natalie Rhodes.

"Ah, bet the boyfriend didn't like that, huh?" Natalie said with a wink.

"He didn't know, last minute thing, besides when we weren't working on the case we were in the hotel room, in separate bedrooms." Kate said.

Bingo! Natalie could use this information.

"Oh, so you were the other woman in the hotel room." Natalie said, watching Kate's face, a slight smirk on her face when she saw the detective's eyes widen, her head whipping around to face the actress who was pretending to read the magazine.

"What?" Kate asked.

"Castle called me when he was here last for a little rendezvous if you know what I mean, but he told me we had to be quiet because he was sharing his room with someone else. I just figured it was his mother or some bimbo he picked up and didn't like, but I never suspected it was you." Natalie said, blowing a big bubble with the gum in her mouth, a triumphant smile on her face at the crestfallen look on the detective's face.

Unfortunately, Castle and the director decided to show up right at that moment and Natalie couldn't make sure the seeds of doubt were firmly planted, but judging by the look on Beckett's face, she had done a good job.

"Ready to go?" Castle asked Kate who quickly wiped her face clean of any emotion and put a rather forced smile on her face as she nodded her head.

"Yeah, the guys and Lanie should be getting done with their tour by now." Kate said, her voice slightly strained with the lump that was forming in her throat.

After saying goodbye to everyone, Castle took Kate's hand and led her out of the trailer.

Kate couldn't help but feel disappointed when Castle's hand, which had felt so comforting earlier, now felt like a dead weight dragging her to the bottom of the ocean.

Realizing she was going to give her thoughts away, she quickly shook her head, putting her best detective face on, hoping Castle wouldn't notice, but of course, he was completely in tune with her.

"Kate?" Castle asked, the concern evident in his voice.

"Yeah?" she said, more anger in her voice than she intended.

"What's wrong?" Castle asked.

"Nothing." Kate said, too quickly apparently because as she went to continue walking, Castle stopped, pulling her back to him.

"Castle…" Kate said, taking a deep breath, willing herself not to cry.

"Kate, I know something is wrong and it's only going to eat you up if you keep it bottled up. Whatever it is just tell me so I can fix it." Castle practically pleaded, hating to see her upset.

"It's probably never even true and then you'll think I don't trust you." Kate said, looking away as a stray tear rolled down her face.

"Kate, I can't confirm nor deny whatever it is that's bugging you unless you tell me." Castle said, wiping the tears off her face with his thumb.

"Promise me you won't hate me?" Kate asked, looking into his eyes, pleading with him.

"I could never hate you. What's going on?" Castle asked.

Kate took a deep breath. "Did you sleep with Natalie Rhodes the last time we were here?"

Castle's eyes widened, his jaw dropping in surprise, that was not what he expected.

"No, of course not. What makes you think that?" Castle asked.

"Natalie may have implied that you called her to come to the hotel one night for a late night booty call when we were here last. God, I'm so stupid." Kate said, covering her face with her free hand.

"Hey, shhh. You aren't stupid and I'm glad you asked. I would hate for this to have blown up in our face later down the road. But I promise you that I did not sleep with Natalie Rhodes nor have I ever wanted to sleep with Natalie Rhodes. She wasn't even here then, she was in rehab. Don't tell anyone I told you that though." Castle said, with a goofy grin.

"How can you be smiling right now? I just accused you of sleeping with someone." Kate said, slightly confused.

"Kate, it's a valid question. Had we been together at that point, I would probably be more than hurt that you thought I would cheat on you, but at that time, you didn't know how I felt about you so it's understandable for you to wonder if I was with another woman, especially with my past. But I promise you, by that point, I was so in love with you that the mere thought of being with another woman was nauseating. When we weren't solving murders and I was alone in my room the only thing I could think of was how much I wanted to just walk the twenty feet across the room and hold you." Castle said.

"I shouldn't have believed her, I knew that she was probably lying, trying to get under my skin, but I couldn't get it out of my head." Kate said as they resumed their walk to the car.

"I love you, I've loved you for a long time. Whenever you doubt my actions from the past, just remember that. Remember that from the moment I ran through the door of your apartment after it blew up, I was yours." Castle said, giving her a kiss before handing her the keys.

"I'm driving?" Kate asked.

"No, I have to get a few things put together, I'm taking you out tonight." Castle said.

"What? Where are we going?" Kate asked.

"That's a surprise detective. Just wear something comfortable and warm and I promise I will blow you away." Castle said.

Kate just stood their watching him leave, shaking her head. He was something else.

**Author's Note: Day 1 of LA. Hope you liked!**


	93. Chapter 93

Chapter 93:

Kate Beckett did not like surprises.

She supposed it had something to do with the fact that she had the need to always be in control and the fact that she never met anyone she trusted enough to hand that control over to, except her parents of course.

She remembered the one time Josh tried to surprise her, thinking that it would be romantic.

It was a couple weeks after the dirty bomb case and Kate was still on edge. To top it all off, she was starting to think that giving Josh another chance was a mistake. Yes, he had stayed behind for her from Haiti, but things just weren't the same. She couldn't help but notice that is hugs weren't as warm as Castle's, that she didn't feel nearly as safe with Josh in the safety of her apartment than she did with Castle in the freezer, staring death in the face. She couldn't help but notice that whenever she was with Josh, she wished that it were Castle.

Josh must have sensed something was up, hence the whole surprising her with a romantic evening thing.

Since the freezer, Kate could only get a couple hours of sleep a night because whenever she closed her eyes she was right back in the freezer again except this time, Castle didn't make it out alive. Therefore, she didn't really realize that her door was unlocked when she finally made it home that night, just focused on reaching her bed and getting as much sleep as she could.

Fortunately, the fact that all the lights in her apartment were on when she knew she turned them off woke her right up, but before she could get her gun out of its holster, Josh came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her.

Long story short, Kate's cop training kicked in and Josh ended up in the hospital with bruised ribs and a bloody nose that thankfully wasn't broken.

It wasn't until they were making their way back to her apartment that she remembered that her front door had been unlocked when she got home.

"_Josh?" Kate asked her boyfriend who was sitting in Castle's seat, eyes closed. _

"_Yeah?" Josh asked. _

"_How did you get in my apartment?" Kate asked. _

"_I used my key." Josh said. _

"_I never gave you a key." Kate said. _

"_I know. When I gave you mine, I woke up the next morning to head into work and realized that you never gave me one, so I went to get your spare off of your key ring, but you didn't have one so I took yours and made a copy." Josh said with a shrug like it was no big deal. _

"_Give it back." Kate said, holding out her hand, trying to stay cool. _

"_What?" Josh asked, turning to look at her. _

"_The key you made, give it back." Kate said. _

"_Seriously?" Josh asked. _

"_Seriously. I didn't give you a key not because I forgot but because I didn't want you to have a key." Kate said. _

"_But I'm your boyfriend." Josh said. _

"_And it's my apartment and I don't want you there when I'm not there." Kate said. _

"_Fine." Josh said, taking the key off his key ring and handing it to her before going back to staring out the window. _

_The rest of the ride back to her apartment was silent and when they finally got there, Kate immediately went to change into some more comfortable clothes before making her way into the kitchen to order some takeout for her and Josh, who was sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels on the TV. _

_When she went to get one of the takeout menus, she noticed the note that was lying on top. _

_She would recognize that handwriting anywhere. _

_**My dear detective, **_

_**Alexis made some delicious chicken parmesan and I know that you probably have the same Styrofoam temple in your fridge that you had the last time I was here which means by now it has turned into a science project so I decided that I, your wonderful partner, would bring you dinner since I was going to be in the area. **_

_**Unfortunately, you weren't home. But don't worry! I left the wonderful home cooked meal in your fridge and even braved the horrific creature growing in your fridge and got rid of all your takeout (I would say I'm sorry, but I have no doubt that you will rebuild your temple in no time.) **_

_**Hope you enjoy! **_

_**Rick**_

_**P.S. I knew putting this note by your takeout menus was the best choice;)**_

_Kate couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of nowhere, a sudden warmth spreading over her body knowing that Castle wasn't going to be in the area and only said that so she wouldn't freak out at the fact that he had gone out of his way to take care of her, just like he always did. _

_She was so caught up in Castle that she didn't notice that Josh had made his way over to her from the couch and was reading the letter over her shoulder until he spoke. _

"_You gave __**him**__ a key, but you won't give me, your boyfriend, one?" Josh hissed. _

"_What?" Kate asked, not following his train of thought. _

"_Why does he have a key when you get pissed off at me, your boyfriend, for having one?" Josh snapped. _

"_Not that it's any of your business, but he's my partner. There are times where he might need to get into my apartment when I'm not here and there are times when I might need to get into his apartment when he isn't there, it's part of the job. Esposito and Ryan have keys to each other's places, as do every other partnership on the force." Kate said, making her way over to the fridge to pull out the dinner Castle left her. _

"_You talk about him like he's a cop. You do realize he's just a writer." Josh said. _

"_He's a writer who has saved my life more times than I can count and that is more than enough for me." Kate said. She hated, absolutely hated when people questioned Castle just because he wasn't technically a cop. _

"_I want you to get it back." Josh said. _

"_What?" Kate said, almost shocked that he just told her what to do. _

"_You heard me. I'm your boyfriend and I'm not comfortable with another man having a key to your apartment, especially when not even I have one." Josh said. _

"_Who I do and do not give a key to my apartment to is none of your business Josh. The fact that you feel entitled to have a key simply because you're my boyfriend is the exact reason why I don't want you to have one. The fact that you gave me a key to your place was your choice just like it was my choice not to give you one. I'm sorry if you are uncomfortable with it, but I'm not going to take Castle's key away just because you are upset." Kate said. _

_Josh didn't say anything as she turned to get her dinner out of the microwave. One second the apartment was quiet and the next her front door was slamming shut. _

That was pretty much when she decided that things were over with Josh, which was cemented a few weeks later when her and Castle went to LA. She was planning on breaking up with him after Montgomery's funeral, especially when she realized that it was Castle she wanted with her as she made a stand, but then Castle got shot and the next thing she knows, Josh is proposing to her while Castle is lying shot in a hospital bed.

So yeah, it was safe to say that Kate was not a fan of surprises.

That was one of the things that annoyed Kate the most about Castle at first, the fact that he was full of surprises and she never knew what was coming next, never knew what to expect.

But as time went on and she began to trust him more and more, and now standing there in their hotel room, trying to figure out what she was going to wear, she discovered that she actually looked forward to Castle's surprises because he knew her, even better than she knew herself sometimes and he knew how to make things special for her, knew what she would be comfortable with and uncomfortable with and never crossed that line, she trusted him completely.

When a knock echoed through the hotel room, she couldn't help but feel a little panicked, thinking that it was Castle, here to pick her up and she wasn't even dressed yet.

Making her way to the door, she pulled open letting out a breath she didn't realize she was holding when it was just Lanie.

"Hey girl." Lanie said.

"Hey Lanie." Kate said, stepping aside to let her best friend in.

"Why do you look so nervous?" Lanie asked, noticing her fidgeting friend.

"Castle is taking me out tonight and I have no idea where he is taking me so I don't know what to wear, he told me to wear something comfortable, but does that mean casual comfortable or dressy comfortable." Kate said, her eyes narrowing when she realized Lanie wasn't making eye contact. "You know where he is taking me don't you?"

"I ran into Castle downstairs and I asked him why he was down there without you and he explained that he was taking you out on a date and didn't know if it was too early to come up and get you because you might not be ready yet. Of course, I have to know everything so I made him tell me where he was taking you in exchange for coming up here to see if you were ready, which I clearly see you are not." Lanie said.

"Because I don't know where we are going. Tell me!" Kate insisted.

"Nuh uh girl, I know how much Castle loves his surprises and I am not going to ruin the little bit of control you let that man have." Lanie said.

"Then at least tell me what to wear?" Kate begged.

"Do you have that plaid, purple shirt with you?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah." Kate said, going into their room and pulling it out of the closet.

"Good, wear that with a pair of jeans, Castle can't take his eyes off of you when you wear that." Lanie said.

"Really?" Kate asked.

"Oh yeah, the boys told me that when he came back from the summer at the Hamptons, you had that outfit on and Castle couldn't stop staring at your ass." Lanie said.

"Purple plaid shirt it is." Kate said with a huge grin. "So how was the tour of the set?"

"Oh my god, you should have seen Esposito and Ryan's face when they met the actors playing Roach. They wouldn't shut up for the rest of the tour about how creepy they were." Lanie said. "How about you? Keep Natalie Rhodes away from your man?"

"What?" Kate asked as she pulled on her jeans.

"Please girl, I know the only reason you went with Castle was to make sure Natalie kept her hands to herself." Lanie said.

"Well, she may have tried to convince me that she slept with Castle the last time he was here which just happened to be when we were here together." Kate said as she made her way into the bathroom to fix her hair.

"Seriously? Please tell me you didn't believe her?" Lanie asked her.

"Not completely. I was pretty sure it was a lie, but there was still that little inkling of doubt and Castle noticed and asked me about it so I told him what she said and he assured me that he did not sleep with her, it was actually kind of sweet." Kate said.

"What did he say?" Lanie asked.

"He said that by that point he was so much in love with me that the thought of being with another woman was completely nauseating to him and when we weren't busy working on the case, he would just lay in his room thinking about how I was less than twenty feet away, hurting, and all he wanted to do was comfort me, but couldn't because I was with Josh." Kate said.

"I still don't get why you were still with him. You should have broken up with him before you left, especially after the whole key debacle, then you would have been able to get you freak on with writer boy." Lanie said.

"Yeah, well I almost did anyway." Kate mumbled.

"You what?" Lanie squealed.

Damnit, she wasn't quiet enough.

"Uh, nothing." Kate said.

"No way girl, you don't get to make comments like that and then say nothing, now spill." Lanie said, giving her the "you're not getting out of this, so just tell me" look.

"When we were in the hotel room one night, we had this moment where we just sat there, staring into each other's eyes and everything else just disappeared. It was just me and him and in that moment, everything made sense, it was like someone had a huge flashing sign that said "it's him idiot, he is the one you are supposed to be with." I left before anything could happen, knowing that I was going to start panicking like I always do when something like this happens with Castle, but when I closed the door to my room, the only thing I felt was disappointment. Instead of freaking out about what almost just happened, the only thing going through my mind was how much I really wanted to go back out there and kiss him, so before I could lose my nerve, I opened the door." Kate said.

"And?" Lanie asked, her eyes wide with anticipation.

"And I was a moment too late. Right when I opened my door, he closed his." Kate said.

"You two seriously have the worst timing." Lanie said.

"I know, but I'm glad that he had left. I was technically still with Josh and what I had with Castle was different and I knew that he was it for me. I didn't want my last, first time to be in a hotel while I was still with someone who was currently on the other side of the country, unaware that I was with another man on the other side of the country." Kate said.

"Well, at least you two eventually got your head's out of your asses." Lanie said right when someone knocked on the door.

Kate just gave her friend 'the look' before slipping into her shoes and grabbing her phone and making her way to the door, opening it up to see Castle standing there in a pair of faded jeans that she absolutely loved and a blue, buttoned down shirt that brought out his blue eyes.

"You look amazing. I love that outfit on you." Castle said, admiring her ass appreciatively while she walked away to get her jacket.

"So I've heard." Kate said, winking at Lanie who made her way out of the bedroom as Castle helped her into her jacket.

"Ready to go?" Castle asked.

"I think so. Still not going to tell me where we're going?" Kate asked.

"Of course not, it would ruin the surprise." Castle said, taking her hand and pulling her towards the door.

"Have fun you two! Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Lanie said as the door closed.

Stepping into the elevator, Castle made sure he stood a little ways behind Kate so he could check out her ass, something that didn't go unnoticed by Kate.

"Castle if you're going to be checking out my ass all night I'm going to go put on some sweatpants." Kate said, hiding the fact that she was secretly pleased she could hold his attention in something as simple as jeans.

"You would think that would stop me, but your ass looks good in anything, babe." Castle said, purposely squeezing her ass as he stepped out of the elevator.

Kate tried to glare at him, but instead ended up smiling at him in excitement when he handed her the keys to his Ferrari.

"Your chariot awaits."

_**Author's Note: So I fully intended to have the date be in this chapter, but as you can see I got kind of carried away, but don't worry the magical, romantic date is right around the corner!**_


	94. Chapter 94

Chapter 94:

Castle was pretty sure he had never seen anything quite as hot as Kate Beckett behind the wheel of his Ferrari, zipping through LA traffic with a hint of danger twinkling in her eyes.

He was enjoying himself so much just sitting there watching her that he almost convinced himself to just forget about the rest of the night and just let her drive, but it had taken a lot of favors to make tonight happen and it was pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity, even for him. Plus, he could always just buy her a Ferrari for home and hide her keys for her cruiser so she had no choice but to drive it.

Yeah, that would definitely work and he's pretty sure that Kate wouldn't put up much of a fight judging by the disappointment in her eyes when he instructed her to pull off the highway onto the path leading to their final destination.

As they went around the last turn and pulled to a stop at the top of the hill, When Kate got out of the car, she turned to find Castle standing there holding up a handkerchief, obviously wanting to blind fold her.

"Seriously?" Kate asked, more out of habit than anything else knowing that it wouldn't take much convincing for her to give in.

Castle must have realized this by now too because he just motioned for her to turn around before he positioned the blindfold over her eyes, making sure she couldn't see before taking her hand and leading her the rest of the way.

She was just about to ask if they were almost there when she felt herself run into Castle as he stopped right in front of her.

"Castle, if you're going to blind fold me then you have to warn me when we are coming to a stop." Kate reminded him.

"Sorry. Okay are you ready?" Castle asked, the excitement clear in his voice.

"No, I want to stand here all night blindfolded." Kate said sarcastically.

"Right." Castle said, stepping behind her and removing the blindfold.

When Kate opened her eyes, she couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped from her throat when she took in the view.

Castle had somehow gotten them access to come up to Hollywood Hill, a romantic blanket set up the viewing platform of the Hollywood sign, the beautiful view of LA, lit up in the dead of night before them.

She was so caught up in the view that she forgot that Castle was there until he wrapped his arms around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"Do you like it?" he asked when she didn't say anything.

"It's beautiful, remarkable, but how? Why?" Kate asked, still trying to take in the sight before her.

"I know a few guys who owed me a few favors." Castle said with a shrug.

"Of course you do." Kate said, rolling her eyes, even though right now, she was kind of glad that he had these connections.

"As for the why, coming up here and looking down at the city, it has a certain kind of magic to it, and I thought if anyone needed some magic when it comes to LA, it was you." Castle said, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Magic huh? I feel like there's a story behind that." Kate said, unable to hold back her smile when she saw Castle's eyes light up, knowing that she asked the right question.

"Alexis was six at the time and was struggling with being in school and realizing that everyone else had a mommy and daddy all the time, but she only had a mommy when Meredith got bored and wanted some attention, which wasn't very often since she was at the "peak" of her career. It broke my heart to see her so upset, so when she had an extended weekend, I called up Meredith and asked her if it was alright if I brought Alexis out to LA to see her. Meredith almost immediately agreed. I thought at first it was because she was actually missing her daughter, but I eventually figured out that she thought that people would pay more attention to her if she was playing the doting mother figure. When we got there, I brought Alexis to the studio Meredith was working at and Alexis was a hit, everyone was paying attention to her, going on and on about how cute she was, the usual cute kid reaction, but they weren't paying any attention to Meredith and it obviously made her angry so literally forty five minutes after we got there, she told me to take Alexis and leave, that she was trying to work and didn't have time for distractions. Of course, Alexis was old enough to understand that she wasn't going to be seeing her mom anymore that weekend and she was so upset, she cried all the way back to the hotel. I was so angry at Meredith for being such a disappointment to our daughter and I had enough, if Meredith didn't want to see Alexis, that was fine, but I wasn't going to let her ruin Alexis's weekend, so I called in a few favors and got permission to bring Alexis up here. You should have seen her face, Kate. She looked like a little girl who just stumbled across Santa's workshop, you would never be able to guess that just a few hours earlier, she had been miserable. That's when I realized that this place was magic and I continued to bring Alexis up here whenever we were in LA and her mom disappointed her once again." Castle said.

"Castle?" Kate asked, her voice soft and tender.

"Hmm?" Castle asked, still caught up in his story.

"You're a good father." Kate said, kissing his jaw.

"Yeah?" Castle asked.

"Yeah." Kate confirmed. "Now why don't you show me what you've got hiding in that picnic basket because I'm starving."

"Sometimes I feel like you're only with me because I feed you." Castle said, with a amused twinkle in his eye as he dragged her over to the blanket that was already laid out.

Of course not. I'm with you because you are the only man to EVER make me... "Kate started, making sure her voice was dripping with sex as she leaned in as close to Castle as possible, their lips just inches apart before she continued. "Coffee."

The look on Castle's face was priceless when she pulled away and started digging through the picnic basket, her unrestrained laughter filling the air around him, which of course made Castle smile like an idiot, he always smiled like an idiot when she was like this.

"You're such a tease." Castle grumbled.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Kate said with faux innocence while she seductively swirled her tongue around a strawberry before taking a bite out of it, watching Castle's eyes darken considerably.

"You're killing me right now, woman." Castle growled, his pants tightening considerably.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want one?" Kate asked, holding out the container of strawberries.

"I would love one." Castle said, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he took the container fro her, set it aside, and snaked his hand around the back of her neck, dragging her lips to his before she realized what he was doing.

Castle could feel Kate's smile against his lips, but it quickly disappeared when he nipped at her bottom lip, instead replaced with a soft moan that sent all of his blood straight south as he pulled her on top of him, lying back on the blanket, never breaking contact with her mouth.

"Castle…" Kate said, trying to stop him, but it came out more like a moan as he nipped and sucked at her pulse point. "Rick, as much as I like what you're doing with your mouth, I don't think you want the entire city of LA to see us having sex on the Hollywood sign."

Kate could tell that Castle knew she had a good point, but that didn't stop him from whining about it.

"Why do you always have to ruin all the fun?" he groaned, sitting up and straightening his clothes.

"Sorry Casanova, I just figured you didn't want to get arrested for public indecency. Now why don't we pack this up and head back to the hotel room." Kate said, dragging her nails up and down Castle's chest.

Castle didn't have to be asked twice as he practically bolted up, throwing everything back into the picnic basket before grabbing her hand and literally dragging her back to the car.

"Someone's a little eager." She said when he didn't even open the door, he just picked her up and deposited her into the driver's seat, handing her the keys before quickly making his way around the car, hoping over the passenger seat door and settling in as Kate started the car and turned it around, making her way back down the winding path.

"What can I say? As magical as that view was, I can think of much more… exciting ways to create magic." Castle said, practically undressing her with his eyes while he reached over, placing his hand high on the inside of her thigh, drawing small circles that sent a pool of wetness straight to her core. She was never going to make it to the hotel room at this rate.

It only took her a split second to make the decision before she was slamming on the breaks, turning off the car.

"What's wrong? Did you forget something?" Castle said, his hand stopping its movement on her thighs as his eyes instantly filled with concern.

Unbuckling her seat belt and moving the seat back as far as possible, she threw her leg over the center counsel, moving so she was now straddling Castle, who was sitting there, eyes wide with surprise.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" Kate growled, as she leaned down to capture his lips, rolling her hips against his erection, making him moan, before leaving a trail of wet, opened mouth kisses along his jaw and neck.

"Kate, you need to stop before I can't control myself." Castle groaned as she nipped at his ear.

"I don't want you to control yourself." Kate growled, grinding into his fully erect cock to drive home her point.

Castle must have got the message because when his eyes flew open again, he hit the lever on the side of the seat so they were fully reclined before he quickly went to work disposing of Kate's shirt and bra before leaning forward and taking one of her breasts into his mouth, growling when Kate's back arched at the sensations his mouth was creating which also meant she was no sitting more fully on his throbbing erection.

Running his hands down her sides as he switched to the other breast, he quickly unbuttoned her jeans, pulling down the zipper before pushing his hand under the waistline of her jeans and panties.

"God Kate, you're so fucking wet." Castle growled as he pressed against her swollen clit, moving his fingers in small, fast circles.

"Castle… I'm not going to last if you keep doing that, I need you in me." Kate growled, pulling his hand out of her pants before somehow working her pants and panties off before helping Castle push his pants and boxers down to his ankle.

Leaning down to recapture Castle's lips, she raised her self up a little bit, reaching down to guide the tip of Castle's cock to her entrance before sinking down on it in one smooth motion, both of them gasping at the sensations created because of the new angle.

"You feel so good Kate." Castle moaned as Kate raised herself off of him so he was almost all the way out of her before sinking back down onto him, throwing her head back in pleasure as he hit all the right places.

"Castle… move." Kate growled.

Before long, they set the perfect rhythm, Castle thrusting upwards to meet Kate's downward movement, their gasps and moans filling the air around them as they both approached the edge.

"So close Kate, I'm so close." Castle moaned as his movements became more and more erratic.

"Me too, Castle. I'm.. close… just… need… more." Kate gasped.

Castle understood, reaching down with one hand in between her legs, using her movements to create extra friction on her bundle nerves, pushing her over the edge as her walls clenched around him, her entire body shaking as her orgasm coursed through her body, bringing him right along with her.

Coming down from her high, Kate collapsed against Castle's chest as she tried to catch her breath, her eyes scrunching in confusion when she heard Castle start to laugh.

"What?" Kate asked.

"I just had sex with Kate Beckett in my Ferrari. I've wanted to do that ever since I saw you drive it back in New York when we went to that club." Castle said, his eyes glowing with love. "Best. Girlfriend. Ever."

"Unfortunately for you, I don't think we are going to be able to drive your Ferrari much anymore, I'm not going to be able to sit in it without getting all hot and bothered." Kate said as she maneuvered her way back into the drivers seat and began to pull her clothes back on, Castle doing the same.

"That's where you're wrong my dear detective. We can still drive the Ferrari, we're just going to have to make sure to leave early each and every time so I can satisfy your desires for me." Castle said with a wink as Kate turned the car back on before pulling away back to their hotel.

"Dream on, writer boy, dream on." Kate said.

"Don't you know by now, all my dreams come true. I mean c'mon, I just had sex, with the hottest girl in the world, in my Ferrari!" Castle said, watching as Kate's smile grew at his excitement.

Later that night, as Kate laid in bed, propped up on her side, a slight smile on her face as she watched Castle sleep, she couldn't help but hope that they spent more time driving around New York in his Ferrari, especially if they participated in activities like that, but at the same time as she curled into his side, content and satisfied, she couldn't help but notice that something was bothering her, something she wouldn't let herself acknowledge until now.

She was disappointed.

_**Author's Note: LMAO so when I started this chapter I literally had no intent of writing a hot Ferrari sex scene, but it just sort of happened and I was pretty sure none of my readers would complain;) **_

_**Uh oh! Kate Beckett is disappointed, but about what? Any guesses? **_

_**Enjoy!**_


	95. Chapter 95

Chapter 95:

When Kate woke up the next morning, she was alone. Rolling over, she could hear voices in the living room so she assumed Castle had probably woken up before her.

Throwing the covers off of her, she glanced at the clock to see that it was a little after ten. That's when she noticed that Castle had already packed up their things for departure later that day, making sure he left out a set of clothes and everything she would need for her morning routine.

Her heart sped up when she realized that not one thing was missing. Sure she knew that he liked to watch her in the morning, mainly because they ended up showering together more times than not, but it never occurred to her that he was cataloging her morning routine just like he cataloged how she liked her coffee, what her favorites were from each takeout place, and most importantly what her different facial expressions meant.

It made her love him even more knowing that even though they were together, he still wanted to know every little detail there was to know.

Deciding that everyone was probably waiting on her for one last LA adventure before they were due to leave, Kate gathered up her things and made her way into the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, all showered and ready for the day, Kate stuffed her things in the front of her suitcase, packed up her carry on and made her way into the living room, expecting to find everyone, but instead finding Lanie sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Hey girl, I was wondering when you were going to drag yourself out of bed, I was starting to think that you may have died." Lanie said, flipping off the television.

"Good morning to you too Lanie. Where is everyone?" Kate asked as she made her way into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

"Ryan and Jenny are off doing some sight seeing and Esposito and Castle went to the gym to work out. I was going to see if you wanted to go to breakfast, but you slept too late. The guys should be back in about thirty minutes then we have to go pick up Jenny and Ryan and then head to the airport." Lanie said, watching Kate with an amused smile as she tried to figure out how to work the coffee machine.

"What?" Kate asked when she saw Lanie's expression.

"Nothing. You would just think that for someone who drinks as much coffee as you do, you'd be able to work a simple coffee machine." Lanie said with an arched eyebrow as she heard Kate whisper a string of expletives.

"Shut up. I haven't had to make my own coffee since Castle came back from the Hampton's two summers ago." Kate grumbled, giving up on coffee, grabbing a bottle of water instead.

"I know that Castle isn't at the precinct every day so you had to of made a cup for yourself sometime." Lanie said.

"Nope. If he's not there, he either has a cup delivered, makes me a cup before I leave, or I stop and get myself a cup and then I'm pretty sure he bribes the boys with Knicks ticket and his Ferrari to keep my cup filled during the day." Kate said.

"And what about when you send the boys home, insisting that you'll leave too, but end up staying for another two hours?" Lanie asked.

"The boys text Castle who either shows up to take me home in which case I don't need coffee or stays to build theory with me in which case he makes me coffee." Kate said with a smirk as she watched Lanie become more frustrated by the minutes when she couldn't find anything to prove her point.

"Aha! What about when you spent a month and a half at your dad's cabin last summer?" Lanie asked.

"I didn't drink any. I was on edge as it was with a sniper on the lose who wanted me dead and Castle kicking me out after taking a bullet for me." Kate said, her expression darkening with the memories as an uncomfortable silence filled the room.

Lanie was just about to say something when the doors burst open and Castle came in, singing some song in a ridiculously high voice.

When he saw Lanie and Kate watching him, he broke into a huge smile and without faltering, he crossed the room, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other grabbing her hand as he danced with her in a circle and just like that all the tension in the room dissipated as Kate through her head back in laughter.

It truly amazing her that even when Castle had no clue what they had just been discussing, he still had the ability to pull her right back out of the rabbit hole.

"You smell." Kate said when they stopped dancing.

"Love you too." Castle said, giving her a quick kiss before turning to head to the shower.

"Wait, Castle." Kate called out after him.

"Yes m'lady? Would you like to join me?" Castle asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No. We have a small problem." Kate said, looking at the coffee machine.

Castle followed her line of sight and when he saw what she was looking at he broke into a huge goofy grin, his eyes full of compassion and love.

"Do you need me to make you a cup of coffee?" Castle asked, no hint of teasing in his voice.

"Yes please." Kate said, sitting down at the counter with Lanie.

"Damn. If I ask Javi to make me a cup of coffee, he mumbled and grumbles. Your man looks like you just told him you wanted to have sex." Lanie said.

"Would you like a cup off coffee, too, Lanie?" Castle asked.

"No, I'm just trying to figure out why you love making her coffee so much." Lanie said.

"It's simple. Coffee makes her happy, I want to make her happy, therefore, I love making her coffee because it allows me to make her happy, plus, she gives me the cutest smile." Castle said, placing a mug in front of Kate. "I'm going to go shower."

Lanie waited until the door to the bedroom closed behind Castle before turning back to Kate who was sipping on her coffee with a smile on her face.

"I kow I've asked you this before, but how did you deny that man for so long?" Lanie asked.

"I don't know Lanie, I really don't know. All the reasons I used t have that I thought were good reasons just seem stupid now." Kate said.

"Well at least you're here with him now. Speaking of which, how was you're date last night?" Lanie asked, her "give me all the details' look on.

"It was good… great. He took me to Hollywood Hills, which you know, and he set up the most romantic picnic on the viewing deck of the Hollywood sign overlooking LA, everything was perfect, especially the part where we barely made it five feet down the road before I had to pull over because he was driving me crazy." Kate said.

"But?" Lanie asked.

"What?" Kate asked.

"I'm sensing a but here. C'mon girl, spill. What did he do?" Lanie asked.

"It's more like what he didn't do." Kate grumbled.

"What he didn't do?" Lanie asked, not following Kate's train of thought.

"God Lanie, I thought he was going to propose okay? Everything was so perfect and romantic and he gave this whole speech about how there was just something so magical about that place and how he wanted to share that magic with me and I though that was it, I though that was the moment he was going to ask me to marry him." Kate huffed.

"And when he didn't you were disappointed." Lanie said, understanding what the problem was.

"I didn't think I would be. When the thought first crossed my mind, I panicked a little, not because I don't want to marry him, but because I knew that was it for me and that's a bit overwhelming, but when he didn't ask… I felt disappointed. I felt rejected Lanie. I mean what if he changed his mind? What if he doesn't want to marry me anymore?" Kate asked, her voice shaky.

"Girl, relax. That man adores you, he gets excited about making you coffee, of course he wants to marry you. he probably just doesn't want your proposal to be overshadowed by Alexis leaving for college, wants it all to be happy." Lanie said.

"You think?" Kate asked, still unsure.

"I know." Lanie said when there was a knock on the door.

"Hey chicas, what are you two talking about?" Esposito asked when Lanie let him in.

"Kate here is convinced that Castle is getting cold feet because he hasn't proposed yet." Lanie said.

"Lanie!" Kate hissed.

"Relax girl. Javi, tell her she's crazy." Lanie said.

"Beckett, you're crazy. The entire time we were in the gym all he could talk about was how excited he was to become a father again, with you." Esposito said.

"Wait he told you?" Kate asked, slightly shocked.

"Yeah, but don't be mad at him, he didn't mean to. We were in the elevator and a woman with a stroller came in and he was making goo goo eyes at the baby so I made a joke and said how I bet he couldn't wait until you were pregnant. I think that he automatically assumed that you told me since Lanie and your dad knew, so he had the same reaction as you, eyes wide, mouth hanging open and he asked me if I told you. Of course after that he had to explain. That's not the point though, once I knew, he couldn't help but go on and on about how excited he was that Kate Beckett wanted to have his baby. He isn't excited about having a baby, he's excited about having a baby with you. that man is head over heals for you." Esposito said.

"Thanks Espo." Kate said, right as Castle walked out of the bedroom.

"What are you thanking Espo for?" Castle asked, walking up next to Kate.

"He was congratulating me. Apparently my knucklehead of a boyfriend can't keep his mouth shut." Kate said, instantly regretting her words when Castle deflated, his head dropping in guilt.

"I know. I'm so sorry babe. I'm such an idiot. I should have realized it was just a general statement, not because you told him." Castle said.

"Hey." Kate said, bringing her hand to his cheek. "It's okay, I'm not even mad. He was going to find out eventually and I know that it was an accident." Kate said.

"Really?" Castle asked, instantly perking up.

"Really. There's just one thing thought." Kate said.

"What's that?" Castle asked.

"Ryan is not going to be happy when he finds out that he was the last to find out."

_**Author's Note: Tada! So raise your hand if you had a heart attack after the last chapter? Now raise your hands if you feel better. Don't worry, I don't have it in me to write a bad ending for these two love birds. If they don't make it, I've lost all hope! **_

_**Alright, opinion time. For the next part of my story, they are going to be in Florida. I'm planning on having it be rainy and stormy for a couple of days for the sole purpose of them having to stay in, get a little drunk, play some games, and admit things they would never admit to sober;) That being said, do you guys want one or two chapters of said activities? I can easily write one and I can easily write two. It's up to you so let me know!**_

_**Enjoy!**_


	96. Chapter 96

Chapter 96:

It was a little after 8:30 when they finally made it to Florida.

After a quick tour of the beach house, they all gathered in the kitchen for a quick spaghetti dinner since they didn't get a chance to eat before they left earlier that afternoon.

"So Castle, got any other houses we should know about, maybe in Paris or Italy?" Esposito asked, all of them waiting around for dinner to be done.

"Nope. Just the loft, the Hamptons, and then here." Castle said.

"I get the place in the Hampton's, but why Florida? I never heard you mention coming here in the past four years I've known you." Ryan said.

"I haven't been here in about seven years. When I first started publishing books, this was one of my major stops. I would spend 2-3 weeks here every couple of months and when Alexis was born and I had to take her with me, I wanted somewhere a little more private and child friendly than a hotel suite so I bought this place. When I'm not using it, I rent it out to the locals and I'm hoping one day my mom will move down here." Castle said with a wink.

"I would kill for a place like this, bro." Esposito said

"You're welcome to use it whenever you want, the place in the Hamptons too. Just give me a couple days notice so I can have it cleaned and loaded and its all yours. That goes for any of you." Castle added.

'Seriously?" Jenny asked, not used to the generous nature of Richard Castle.

"Seriously. I started writing because I love it. the money that came with it was an added bonus to make sure my daughter had the opportunities to succeed, to make sure that my mother and her would never have to worry financially if something happened to me. Money doesn't make me happy, you guys do, so if I can use my good fortune to bring good fortune to you guys, to help make thing easier when they get tough, or simply help you get away every once in awhile, then I am more than happy to do so, especially with how much you guys have done for me." Castle said with a shrug, dividing the pasta among the six of them.

"Is he always this… generous?" Jenny asked Kate.

"Always. The second year of our partnership, he gave up $100,000 just for the chance at catching my mother. The third year of our partnership, we caught a case involving a lottery winner. Me being my stubborn self, I wouldn't tell him what I would do if I won the lottery. Of course, Castle being Castle, he looked at it as a puzzle until he eventually figured out that if I won the lottery, I would do something to honor my mother, but he didn't stop there, he actually started a scholarship in my mother's name. the same year, he bought the Old Haunt when it was going to be sold just to preserve the history everyone worked to create there. Castle has a huge heart and if there is someone in need of help and he can help them, he will. I love him even more for it." Kate said, squeezing Castle's hand.

"You've got a good man." Jenny said as she began to eat.

As the group fell into small talk, Kate caught Castle's eyes knowing that he doesn't lie attention being drawn to him when he does something good, but this time, Kate saw nothing but love and admiration reflected in his eyes and she knew that this time, the fact that one was practically bragging about him meant the world to him.

After everyone finished eating and the dishes were cleaned up, they all silently agreed to head up to bed to get a good nights sleep, exhausted from their two days in LA along with their constant time zone changes.

Making their way into the master bedroom, Kate immediately made her way into the bathroom while Castle grabbed his pajamas and an extra pair of boxers and oversized t-shirt, knowing Kate preferred to wear his clothes when she was overly exhausted, before making his way into the bathroom, changing while Kate brushed her teeth and took off her makeup then switching in a well practiced routine.

One of Castle's favorite things about their routine is whether its morning or night, if one of them gets done before the other, they wait for the other to get done. He especially loved it when Kate was tired like she was now because she had no desire to hide anything and unabashedly stared at him, love radiating off of her. It was completely adorable.

Finishing with brushing his teeth, Castle wiped off his mouth taking Kate's hand in his and pulling her into him in a sweet, gentle kiss.

"I love you." Castle whispered, resting his forehead against Kate's.

"I love you too. Now take me to bed." Kate mumbled through a yawn.

"I will never get tired of hearing you say that even if you did just mean to sleep." Castle said, placing a light kiss on her temple before pulling her towards bed where Castle got comfortable before Kate climbed in, molding her body to his, her body instantly relaxing when his arms wrapped securely around her.

"Hey Kate?" Castle whispered into the silent room just in case she was already asleep.

"Hmm?" Kate murmured.

"Thank you." Castle mumbled.

"For what?" Kate asked, willing herself to listen, sensing the seriousness in Castle's voice.

"For loving me for me." Castle said.

"It's hard not to Castle, it's really hard not to." Kate said, tilting her head up to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw. "Now go to sleep writer boy, I'm tired."

The next morning, nobody managed to crawl out of bed until well after eleven and when they did, instead of being greeted by the bright, warm sunshine that they were expecting to encounter in Florida, they were greeted with dark, gloomy skies, a steady downpour of rain and the occasional crack of thunder or flash of lightening.

"Bro, this sucks. I thought you checked the weather before we left." Esposito complained.

"I did. When we left LA yesterday, there wasn't supposed to be any rain. The forecast said that there was a tropical storm of the coast that shifted over night and we are getting hit with the edge of it." Castle said as he began pulling things out of for omelets.

Kate had to take the marshmallows and chocolate off the counter, shoving them into a drawer, shooting Lanie a look that was a mix of "don't ask" and "trust me".

"We've got our own private beach and we can't even use it. I want to get a tan." Esposito continued to whine.

"Esposito, the storm will be gone in the next couple days and then you'll have over a week to get your tan on, I'm sure you'll be fine." Castle said.

"I better be. Stupid storm." Esposito grumbled.

"Babe, have you seen my marshmallows and chocolate?" Castle asked, moving everything around like he thought they might be hiding under something.

"No, I haven't. are you sure you remembered to have them stocked?" Kate asked, shooting a glare at Lanie who was about to open her mouth and tell him exactly where Kate put the objects of Castle's desires.

"I thought I saw them." Castle said, his eyes furrowing in confusion.

"We will run to the store when we get the chance and get you some more." Kate said, knowing that she would be able to distract him into letting her make breakfast from now on.

"Why do you need marshmallows and chocolate to make omelets?" Jenny asked.

"To make smorlettes." Castle said like it was common sense as he continued to search for the delicious sweets.

"Smorlettes?" Jenny asked, more to Kate than the distracted Castle.

"Castle likes to experiment with food. A smorlette is a mixture of an omelet and a smore. So basically eggs, marshmallows, and chocolate, sometimes he even gets wild and puts graham crackers in it." Kate explained.

"That sounds disgusting." Jenny said.

"It was." Kate said.

"Wait a minute. Kate Beckett tried a mysterious food item that Richard Castle placed in front of her and trusted it?" Lanie asked, jumping into the conversations.

"Uh, he tricked me." Kate said, trying to sound convincing.

"I did not! Alexis and my mother told you exactly what it was and even warned you not to eat it, going on and on about how disgusting it was, but you said and I quote "he would try it for me, so I can try it for him." So don't try and blame this one on me." Castle said, waving the spatula at her before turning back to his task.

"Oh my god, you're one of those people." Lanie said.

"What people?" Kate asked.

"The sappy couple who does things you wouldn't otherwise do because you're all in love and everything, perfect example, trying a food that is clearly disgusting just because your man made it." Lanie said.

"Am not." Kate said.

"Really?" Lanie asked.

"Okay, maybe I am, but that's what you do for the people you love and I'm not going to feel ashamed for it." Kate said, catching the big smile that took over Castle's face as he turned back to the stove to flip the omelet.

After breakfast, they all decided to play some board games that Castle found in the closet of the room Alexis used to use.

First up was scrabble. Esposito and Lanie knew that they had n chance of beating Castle or Beckett and decided that they would get as many dirty words on the board as possible. Ryan and Jenny weren't so quick to give up and for most of the game, they managed to keep up, but eventually Castle and Beckett pulled away, Castle ultimately managing to clinch the win, beating Kate by a slim margin.

After a quick lunch of sandwiches, they pulled out monopoly and after deciding on pieces, which took longer than it should have when Espo and Ryan both wanted the same piece and refused to give it up, they started the game.

Sometime between the end of scrabble and the beginning of monopoly, Lanie, Kate, and Jenny must have formed a pact that they would work together to get rid of Esposito, Castle, and Ryan as fast as possible, using any means possible, which usually meant "accidental touches" and dirty things being whispered in their ears.

At one point, Castle had unknowingly sold his two highest profiting properties to Lanie for next to nothing because he was distracted by the fact that Kate's hand had slipped under the table and began to run along his manhood. They fact that he couldn't think straight when she was touching him like this did not help and by the time he managed to form a coherent sentence and end his turn, he had a throbbing erection and had to excuse himself to the bathroom before he embarrassed himself.

By the time he came back, Esposito and Ryan had gone bankrupt and Castle followed shortly after, but none of them could bring themselves to care, especially since the women were still extremely touch feely even though they succeeded in their original plans.

Close to five hours after they started the came, Jenny finally managed to pull ahead and beat Lanie and Kate after a couple of unlucky turns.

As they all worked together to put the board games away, they all realized how hungry they were. Wandering into the kitchen, Castle threw in a few frozen pizzas and in a matter of no time, they were all sitting around, enjoying the cheesy goodness and sharing stories, most of which had to do with all the stupid situations Castle and Beckett managed to always get themselves into. Eventually though, they ran out of stories and were once again at a loss for what to do.

"We can always watch a movie. I've got a pretty large collection and Netflix is set up if I don't have what you're looking for." Castle suggested.

"The last thing I want to do is watch another movie. That's all I did whenever we were on a plane." Ryan said.

"We can play poker." Lanie suggested.

"So Beckett can take all our money? No thanks." Esposito said.

"Hey, it's not my fault you all have horrible poker faces." Kate defended, ignoring Esposito when he stuck his tongue out at her.

"We can always play the I've Never game." Jenny suggested.

"What's that?" Castle asked.

"There's an app for it. You start with the youngest person in the group and they read the question and then they have to answer it truthfully and face the consequences which is usually drinking or doing something embarrassing." Jenny said.

"You know me, I'm game for anything involving alcohol." Lanie said.

"A chance to embarrass you clowns, I'm in." Esposito said.

"Dream on. You're the one that's going to be embarrassed." Ryan said.

"I don't know, bro. From what I've heard Kate and Castle are the wild ones of the group, they are probably the ones who are going to get drunk the fastest." Esposito said, knowing that Kate couldn't back down from a challenge and if Kate were playing, Castle would be right there with her.

"I'll get the alcohol." Kate said, glaring at Esposito, ready to whoop his ass.

"Who is the youngest person here?" Castle asked.

"Definitely not you, old man." Kate said with a smirk.

"Hey I didn't hear you complaining in the airplane." Castle said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"The airplane?" Ryan asked, not understanding why the rest of the group was laughing.

"Seriously bro? Did you not notice Beckett and Castle go back to the bathroom five minutes apart and then come back at the same time?" Esposito asked.

"So they went to the bathroom? What's the big deal?" Ryan asked.

"Oh lordy. They got their freak on in the airplane bathroom." Lanie said, laughing as Ryan's eyes got wide.

"Ew. I used that bathroom after you got out of there." Ryan said, everyone now cracking up so hard at the disgusted look on his face that they were clutching their sides.

"It's your own fault bro. What did you think was going down when they both went to the bathroom?" Esposito asked, wiping some tears off his face.

"Shut up." Ryan grumbled. "Can we just start the game."

"Oh cheer up. Okay so Jenny is the youngest so she starts." Lanie said.

"Okay. First question…"

_**Author's Note: Dun Dun Dun! So I seem to have a problem with writing really long introductions to my next major plot line haha. Oh well! The fun comes next, hope you enjoy. **_

_**P.S. I made another twitter account specifically for my fanfiction writing. StorySuggestion. If you have a story idea that you would like to coauthor with me or a story idea that you like to see written you can let me know on there. Also if you have suggestions for any stories I'm writing or questions etc etc. Anything like that, just head on there and post it and I will get to it as soon as possible. **_

_**Obviously, if you don't have a twitter, that doesn't mean you can't do the same thing, just send me a private message on fanfiction if you don't have a twitter**___


	97. Chapter 97

Chapter 97:

"Okay, first question… I've never been in a dance contest which is true so I don't have to take a drink." Jenny said, passing her phone to Ryan who was next.

"Okay this one says it's for all the girls, so ladies, get your shot glasses ready. I've never bought edible underwear." Kevin said, going red when he asked the question.

"I've never bought edible underwear." Jenny said.

"Me either." Kate said, before turning to Lanie, who looked at the entire group before downing her shot glass.

"Like I said, I'll do anything with alcohol." Lanie said.

"Why won't you buy edible underwear?" Castle asked, turning to Kate.

"Because you have the attention span of a gnat, you wouldn't be able to focus on the underwear long enough for it to be worth buying." Kate said.

"Touché." Castle said. "Okay, Ryan, your turn to answer a question."

"I've never smoked crack." Ryan said, taking his shot.

"You've smoked crack?" Jenny asked, eyes wide in surprise.

"Not a lot, but I had to for an undercover op a couple years after I got out of the academy." Ryan said.

"They make you do stuff like that?" Jenny asked.

"It depends on the situation. In this case, we were taking down a pretty big drug ring who has been causing a lot of issues for a lot of years, so if it meant doing some drugs to take them down, it was a risk worth taking, especially when they made it mandatory to get treatment right after the op was done to clean out your system." Ryan said, passing the phone to Kate.

"Okay let's see. I've never done a tequila shot. Well, we all know that's not true." Kate said, picking up her shot glass and downing it in one gulp.

"See I knew there was some Nikki Heat in you." Castle said.

"I never said there wasn't, Castle. I just never let you found out." Kate fired back.

"Tease." Castle said, as her took the phone from her.

"I've never snuck out of my house without my parents knowing. Is it sad that I still have to do this to avoid my mother asking questions?" Castle said as he took his drink.

"I think it's even worse that your mom sneaks into your house to avoid being caught, bro." Esposito said.

"Hey, I don't want to know where she has been so if that means she has to sneak in, by all means, please continue." Castle said, handing the phone to Lanie.

"I've never fantasized about having sex with a celebrity. Oh! And it says I have to tell you guys who." Lanie said as she took her shot, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Don't you dare." Kate said, shooting her friend a glare.

"I can't lie. That ruins the point of the game." Lanie said, looking pointedly at Castle.

"Oh my god! You've… uh, thought about me? Like that?" Castle asked, his eyes going wide.

"Chica?" Esposito croaked out.

"Relax, it was like the first year he came. Kate here was down in my morgue with her daily complaint about writer boy and I forget what we were talking about, but I was pretty sure that I was telling her to just get with writer boy here already and I may or may not have let my mind wander a little bit." Lanie said.

"That's so… ugh." Castle said, with a shudder.

"Excuse me, writer boy?" Lanie asked, leveling Castle with a glare.

"Yeah bro, what's that supposed to mean?" Esposito said, his jaw tighetening.

"What? Oh no, not like that. You are a very beautiful, smart, intelligent, sexy, hot…" Castle began.

"Get to the point Castle." Kate grumbled beside him.

"Right, like I was saying you are very beautiful, no question about that, but you're like Kate's sister and it's no secret that I've always had feelings for Kate so by default, you're like my sister so that's like sleeping with my sister…" Castle said.

"Well writer boy, you just made sure that I'll never be fantasizing about you again." Lanie said, handing Esposito the phone.

"I've never had a lap dance." Esposito said, not even having to think about it before he took his shot, handing it back to Jenny.

"I've never been walked in on by my parents. Thank god this one is true, I would think that would be horribly embarrassing." Jenny said.

"Oh it is." Castle said.

"Been walked in on by your mother, bro?" Esposito asked.

"You know my other, she has no concept of privacy. Of course I've been walked in on." Castle said.

"More than once." Kate grumbled.

"Ooo, do tell." Lanie said.

"Okay to be fair, every time she walked in, we never exactly made it to the bedroom, but you would think that when she realized what was going on she would turn right back around and leave, but nope. She just walks in like it's the most natural thing in the world, talking about this and that, not even caring about the fact that we are in the middle of having sex as she makes her way into the kitchen and then goes upstairs, usually with a paring comment revolving around grandchildren." Kate said.

"Writer boy, I think it's time you got your mother a place of her own." Lanie said.

"I did, that's the bad part." Castle said. "It doesn't keep her out."

"Okay Kevin, your turn." Jenny said, handing Ryan the phone.

"I've never had phone sex." Ryan said, turning bright red as he glanced at Jenny before taking his shot.

"Damn straight." Esposito said, a huge grin on his face and Castle's as they both reached over to feed the birds, ignoring the eye rolls from their respective women.

"Alright, let's move on, boys." Kate said, taking the phone from Ryan. "I've never played strip poker."

Kate had barely finished answering the question before Castle was handing her the refilled shot glass.

"I'm guessing that Castle is a fan of strip poker." Jenny said when Castle's face broke out in a grin that suggested he was thinking about the last time they played strip poker.

"Bro, please tell me you did not do the nasty on the poker table, the poker table we all use." Esposito said, a look of disgust on his face.

"I think it's best if you don't know." Castle said, his grin giving away the real answer.

"It's official, we are never playing poker at Castle's again." Esposito said.

"It's okay, I can think of better ways to put the table to use." Kate replied boldly, shooting a sultry grin at Castle who gulped, his eyes darkening slightly.

"TMI!" Ryan said, putting his hands over his ears as Kate handed Castle the phone, making sure her hand came to rest high on his thigh when she put it back down.

"I've never regretted having sex with someone." Castle said, taking his shot before setting it down, filling it back up and taking another.

"Why the two shots, writer boy?" Lanie asked.

"It says that if it's not true, then take two shots and tell the group who it was with." Castle said.

"So who was it?" Kate asked, slightly curious.

"Gina. When we got together that summer in the Hamptons. I knew I was in love with you, but at the time I thought that you were with Demming, even convinced myself that I would come back and you would be engaged or already married or something like that so I gave in when she kept pestering me, but it felt so wrong. I felt like I was cheating on you even though I was never technically with you. The guilt was so much, that I couldn't get it up and Gina got pissed, going on and on about how I think she's ugly and what not, and left. I spent the rest of the night staring at your contact number, trying to gather the courage to call you." Castle said.

"Wow. Well, you should have called." Kate said, knowing that he knows she isn't bitter about it, knowing that they both came to the realization that they probably wouldn't have lasted if they got together then.

"I know, but like I said, I thought you were happy with Demming and I didn't want to get in the way of that or call and hear the happiness in your voice knowing that it was all because of him when I so desperately wanted it to be because of me." Castle said.

"Okay, okay. Enough with the sappy love stuff, let's keep going before my buzz wears off." Lanie said, snatching the phone out of Castle's hands.

"Geeze Lanie. Such the romantic." Kate said.

"Shush. Okay let's see. I've never had sex in the bathtub. Surprisingly, I have never done that. I don't see how it's comfortable in the slightest." Lanie said.

"Oh, it's comfortable." Jenny and Kate said at the same time while Ryan and Castle got wistful looks on their faces, clearly going back to their bath tub sex adventures.

"Babe we have to have bathtub sex, I am not letting Mr. and Mrs. Honey milk have a kinkier sex life than us." Esposito said, taking the phone from Lanie as he glared Ryan down.

"Down boy." Lanie said, patting his leg as Esposito looked down at the question.

"I've never convinced a friend to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend." Esposito said, taking his shot.

"Who have you convinced to break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend?" Castle asked.

"Me." Kate said.

"What?" Castle asked.

"After you told me that you were leaving for the summer, Esposito came up to me and pretty much called me out, saying how you've had enough research to write fifty books and yet you were still sticking around and he was pretty sure that it wasn't to see me with another guy." Kate said.

"Esposito man, I owe you a Ferrari." Castle said.

"I'm going to hold you to that." Esposito said.

"Okay, maybe just coffee for a year because if I get you one then I have to get Ryan one and if I get Ryan one then I have to get Lanie one and if I have to get Lanie one I have to get Kate one and the only person I want to buy a Ferrari for is Kate." Castle said, Lanie snickering, knowing exactly why he wants to buy her a Ferrari.

"I'll let you look at mine." Kate said.

"Okay, Jenny's up." Lanie said.

"I've never gotten high at a concert." Jenny said, taking her shot immediately.

"Damn girl!" Lanie said, clearly amused.

"It was during college and I was a bit wild back in the day." Jenny said with a shrug handing the phone to Ryan.

"My turn, let's see. I've never blamed something on someone else." Ryan said, taking his drink. "I blame stuff on Espo all the time."

"Seriously bro? We're supposed to be partners." Esposito grumbled.

"Oh please, I know that you blame stuff on me all the time too." Ryan said, handing the phone to Kate.

"I've never had a fight with my boyfriend over another man." Kate said, glancing at Castle quickly before taking her shot.

"Who was the fight with and about?" Lanie asked, knowing exactly what Kate was thinking about and not wanting Kate to get away with keeping that secret.

"Thanks Lanie." Kate said, glaring at the ME.

"Anytime." Lanie said smugly.

"So?" Castle asked, always wanting to know everything there is to know about Kate.

"It was a couple weeks after the dirty bomb case. Even though I decided to try and give things a chance with Josh, I kind of already knew that things were over between us, especially when I felt safer and warmer in your arms sitting in a freezer, inches from death than I did when I was in the warm safety of my apartment. Anyway, I think Josh must have sensed that things were a little bit rocky because he snuck into my apartment with a key that I didn't know he had to surprise me with a romantic dinner. His first mistake was trying to sneak up on me from behind. I ended up almost breaking his nose and severely bruising some of his ribs before flipping him on his back. I ended up having to take him to the hospital because his nose wouldn't stop bleeding. Once everything settled down and we were driving home, I realized that he had been in my apartment, but I never gave him a key so I asked him about it and he told me how he made a copy of my key when he gave me one to his place. I didn't want him to have a key to my place, which should have been a sign that he wasn't the right guy for me, so I made him give it back. He got over it pretty quickly until we got back to my place and I found a note on my counter from Castle going on and on about how he brought me some homemade chicken parmesan that Alexis made and left it in the fridge, which of course led to Josh getting pissed that you had a key and he didn't and he stormed out. I think that was pretty much it and I would have broken up with him then, but then LA happened and then the whole shooting." Kate said.

"You gave me a key and you didn't give Josh one?" Castle asked, a smug smile on his face.

"Yes Castle. Now wipe that smirk off your face, you've already got me." Kate said, rolling her eyes as she handed him the phone.

"I've never had sex more than four times in one day." Castle said, taking a drink with a puzzled look on his face.

"What?" Lanie asked.

"Do most people have sex less than four times a day?" Castle asked.

"Seriously bro? Your telling me that you've always had sex more than four times." Esposito asked.

"Well no, not with Meredith or Gina, but after being with Kate, I just assumed it was normal to have sex so much and the only reason I didn't have it that much with them was because we never really had solid relationships." Castle said.

"You two are disgusting." Ryan said as Castle handed Lanie the cell phone.

"I've never been on a double date." Lanie said, taking a drink as Jenny turned red. There was no need explaining that one. They all knew about the whole Jenny debacle where Jenny asked Lanie when her and Esposito were planning on getting married.

Luckily, Esposito jumped in quickly, taking the phone to move onto the next question.

"I've never had sex while at work." Esposito said with a smirk as he took a shot. Everyone knew about his escapades with Lanie in the morgue.

When Jenny got the phone back, she looked confused as she tried to figure out the next question before she seemed to finally understand.

"Okay, so there is one more question for everyone. You have to answer it and then down one shot for each player to close out the game." Jenny said.

The group nodded as they pushed all six shot glasses to the middle of the table, filling them up to make it easier on everyone rather than having to fill one shot glass up, six times.

"Okay… If you could change one thing, what would it be?"

_**Author's note: Woot! I hope you enjoyed it. I decided to make this little game one chapter, minus the last question which will carry over to the next chapter because I found so many different games with truth questions and such when I was researching so I decided that I was going to make an entirely different fic revolving entirely around the group getting drunk and painfully honest. **_

_**I will be doing truth or dare, never have I ever, would you rather, and the book of life questions so if you have any suggestions for questions you would like to see in the fic, either send me a private message or send me a message on twitter StorySuggestion **_

_**Hope you enjoyed!**_


	98. Chapter 98

Chapter 98:

"_Okay… If you could change one thing, what would it be?" _

It was probably the alcohol they had consumed, lowering their abilities to stop themselves from revealing things they otherwise wouldn't reveal, but the idea of lying never crossed any of their minds and instead they all got lost in thought as they tried to think of the perfect answer, none of them planning to answer with a generic answer like "I would change the fact that there are people in this world starving" or "I would change the fact that we are constantly at war".

Esposito was the first one to break the silence, taking a deep breath before he answered the question.

"It was a couple years after I first joined the service and I got sent overseas. There was this guy, John, he was with me through boot camp, training, was even going to be in my unit for the trip overseas. He was what one would call my battle buddy or your best friend away from home, the guy you hung out with, talked to, all that kind of stuff. He had a wife and kid at home, little baby girl, born two weeks before we left. Every time we went out to do a patrol or something like that, something where there was a chance he wouldn't come home, he would take out the picture he had of his little girl, give it a kiss, and tell her that daddy would be home soon. One day we were out on a patrol when we came across some enemy contact and it ended in a fire fight. John and I ended up behind a rock for cover. I went to reload my weapon and ended up dropping my round onto the ground in front of me so I bent down to pick it up. When I straightened back up, I locked the ammo into place and yelled clear to let John know I was ready to go, but he never answered. I ducked down behind the cover of the rock, turned around to see John lying there, chest covered in blood, dead. Bullet straight to the heart. I found out later that had I waited just a split second longer before I picked up the ammo, hell had I not dropped my ammo in the first place, the bullet would have hit me in the shoulder, something that could have been fixed with a few stitches and bandages, but instead John ended up dead. When I got back to the states, I went to see his wife and daughter, I wanted to tell them what happened, let them know that I was the reason that he wouldn't be coming home, but she wouldn't hear of it. Made me stay for dinner, showed me videos of John and his little girl before he left, told me that it wasn't my fault. All I could remember thinking as I left that night was that it was my fault that little girl would never get to know her father, it was my fault that instead of her dad being their on her wedding day, at most she would have a picture or an empty chair in his memory. I would change that. I don't know what I would do to change it whether it was to take another clip out of my vest instead of bending down to pick up the one I dropped or not drop the ammo in the first place, but whatever I did, if I could change one thing I would make sure that he would come home to his little girl, even if it meant that I didn't come home." Esposito finished, tears streaming down his cheeks, not even trying to pretend like this didn't change him, made him who he was.

"Javi, baby, why didn't you tell me?" Lanie said as she reached over to wipe the tears off of his cheeks.

"I didn't want you to be ashamed of me, chica." Esposito said.

"I'm not ashamed of you, I could never be ashamed of you for that." Lanie said.

"You should, I'm the reason he's dead." Esposito said.

"Javi, do you think it's my fault that Castle was shot at the funeral?" Kate asked.

"Of course not." Esposito said.

"Do you blame Castle for getting shot?" Kate asked.

"No." Esposito said.

"Exactly. The only person to blame here is the person who pulled the trigger. I blamed myself for Castle getting shot for the longest time, but then I realized it wasn't my fault. It would be my fault if I was the one who pulled the trigger, but I didn't, just like you don't pull the trigger of the gun that killed your friend John. It's not your fault." Kate said.

"I know, I just wish I could change it." Esposito said.

"I know." Kate said.

After a few minutes of silence, Lanie was the next person to speak up.

"If I could change one thing, I would change how much time I've spent with my family. I moved out of the house to go to college right after my high school graduation and then right after college I moved to the city to get my own place. I only see them every couple of months minus holidays and I wish I could change that, I need to change that. If there's anything this job as taught me it's that life is short, it can end at any time when you are least expecting it and you don't have time to waste. I need to see my family more, that's got to change." Lanie said.

"We should start having weekend dinners with them. We have at least one Sunday off every few weeks, we can have them over for dinner and a family day." Esposito said.

"Really?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah. I don't really have a family besides you guys so I could use some crazy Parish family dinners." Esposito said.

"I love you." Lanie said.

"I love you too, chica." Esposito said.

Judging by the looks that Ryan and Jenny were giving each other, they were going to share their answer next.

"Our answer is the same, so we are going to answer together if that's okay?" Jenny asked.

"Of course." Lanie said.

"About six months ago, Kevin and I found out that I was pregnant. We weren't trying, but we both came from big families and we both knew that we wanted big families so we were ecstatic." Jenny said, getting slightly choked up so Ryan took over.

"It was about three weeks after we found out. Jenny started experiencing some really bad cramping. At first we just thought it was because of the pregnancy, all the books we got said that it was very common to experience some cramping during the pregnancy, but it eventually got so bad that she couldn't stand up. I ended up taking her to the hospital and it turned out that she was having a miscarriage." Ryan said, his usual blue eyes, clouded over and gray like he was remembering that very day.

"We discussed it at length and while the doctor said we shouldn't have any complications if we wanted to try again, we decided that we were going to wait until after we were married to really start trying again, but if we could change one thing, we would change that. We weren't necessarily ready or planning to become parents so soon, but we both feel in love with that baby and we would give anything to become parents again." Jenny said.

"I'm so sorry." Kate said, Lanie wiping away some tears that sprung lose. Esposito and Castle just reached over and gave Ryan a consoling squeeze on the shoulder and pat on the back.

"It was hard at first and we still wish things had turned out differently, but we've moved past it, plus now, when we get pregnant again, maybe there will be another little baby on the way." Jenny said, looking directly at Castle and Beckett.

Kate looked at Castle, who gave his shoulders a slight shrug, letting her know that it was her choice if she wanted to tell them or not.

"Well, I guess this is as good a time to tell you two. First of all, I want you both to know that Lanie and Esposito know only because they were at the right place at the wrong time and we had no choice but to tell them." Kate said.

"Wait, are you pregnant?" Ryan asked, looking at Kate's stomach like he expected to see it grow right then and there.

"No, not yet, but Rick and I decided that we were going to start to try. Like you said, we both know that we want a family together and we aren't getting any younger, especially this one, so we don't see why we can't start trying." Kate said, squeezing Castle's hand, who was looking at her with a gentle smile.

"Congratulations." Jenny said, her smile growing from sad and wistful to excited and happy.

"Yeah guys, we're happy for you. Who would have thought that these two knuckleheads who spent three years skating around their feelings for each other would be the first ones to start trying for kids?" Kevin said, the entire group laughing. It really was ironic.

"Well, Castle and Beckett, you're the only two left, so what are your answers." Esposito said.

"You all know that as crazy as my relationship with Meredith was, I never regretted it because it brought me Alexis. But as great as she is and as great as she turned out, I wish that I could have found the strength in me after Kyra left to wait until I met the right woman before I had a kid. No, it probably wouldn't have been Alexis that I had and that thought is unimaginable to me at this present time because I know how great she is, but if I could change something about my past, I wish that I waited so that my child could have the family I've always wanted to give to her. I don't know if that makes sense. Like I don't regret the way things happen because they have led me to a wonderful life, but if I had to do it all over again, I would like it to start differently, I would like it to be built off something more substantial. The silver lining is that even though I couldn't get it right for the first eighteen years of her life, at least I finally got my shit together and found someone who can not only be there for my first born, but will be there for any other kids we have." Castle said, leaning over to place a kiss on Kate's temple.

"Always." Kate said with a gentle smile.

"You're turn, Beckett." Esposito said.

"I can honestly say that I wouldn't change anything in my life. I know that it's a cliché answer, that people usually say it just to get out of answering, but for me it's the truth. I have been through hell and back and I know that you all could probably name about a hundred things that you think I would want to change, and your probably right, there are a hundred things I should want to change. Montgomery's involvement in the conspiracy, my mother's murder, my dad's alcoholism, choosing the NYPD over becoming a lawyer, will leaving, Castle digging my mom's case back up, Will, Demming, Josh, Royce, waiting so long to see what was right in front of me, Montgomery's death, the shooting at the funeral, they are all things that I should want to change and had you asked me this question three years ago, hell if you'd ask me this question a year ago I probably would have picked any one of those things to change, but sitting here today, I am happier than I have ever been, I have great friends, a wonderful job, a man who loves me with his entire heart who I love with all my heart and I know that if it weren't for everything that happened, I wouldn't be here, where I am today. I wouldn't be this happy and no matter how bad things were in my past, I wouldn't change any of it if it meant giving up what I had now." Kate said.

"Wow. I thought for sure you would have said your mother's murder." Esposito said, Jenny, Kevin, and Lanie nodding their head in agreement while Castle just sat there, slightly stunned at his girlfriend's answer.

"I thought I would have too, but while I miss my mom so much, had she not died, I wouldn't have met you guys, I wouldn't be madly in love, living in the loft, getting ready to start trying to have a baby. I don't know where I would be, but I sure as hell know it wouldn't have been anywhere near as good as it is now." Kate said.

"I'm proud of you girl." Lanie said, picking up one of the forgotten shot glasses from the table and downing it, the rest of the group following suit.

"Well, I think that we are going to turn in for the night, we are pretty exhausted and it is definitely really late." Jenny said as Ryan and her stood up and made their way to their bedroom after bidding everyone good night, Esposito and Lanie following shortly after.

After cleaning up the living room and the kitchen, Castle and Beckett made their way upstairs, crawling into bed, planning to sleep in for probably most of the day with how exhausted they were.

"You really wouldn't change the fact that your mom was killed?" Castle asked after a few minutes of silence.

"I really wouldn't change the fact that my mother was murdered." Kate said.

"Hmm." Castle said.

"What?" Kate asked.

"I just don't get it, I guess. I would think that would be the first thing you would do." Castle said.

"Well, you were asked what you would change if you could and you didn't say that you wish you had your father." Kate said.

"Yeah, but that's because it never really bothered me that I didn't have a father. My mother loved me, I had my writing, I eventually had Alexis. I just never really missed having a father, probably because I never had one to begin with, but you had your mother and she was taken from you, you knew what it was like to have a father." Castle said.

"True, but just like you love the life you've created despite the fact that you had no father, I love the life I created despite the fact that my mother was killed. Do I wish that I could have had both, that I could have my mom alive and here and still have everything I have now, yes, but I'm not stupid, I know that it would never happen because had my mom still been here my life would have been radically different and as hard as its been for me to accept it, I really don't think I would change anything because that means that I wouldn't have this, I wouldn't be so happy. I'm really starting to believe that everything happens for a reason and I think the reason my mom was killed, despite the fact that she was digging into a case she shouldn't have been, was to bring me here, to get me here. I don't know if it makes sense, I don't know if you can understand, I just know that I wouldn't change anything if it meant giving up an ounce of what I have now." Kate said.

They fell silent again and Kate would have gone to sleep, but she could tell that Castle had something else to say.

"Hey Kate?" Castle asked.

"Yeah?" Kate asked.

"As much as I want you to have your mother back, to never have to live with knowing what it's like to face that kind of pain, I'm glad that you wouldn't choose anything because I don't want to ever lose this either. It means too much to me and if I didn't have you, I don't know what I would do." Castle said.

"I love you too, Rick. I love you too."

_**Author's Note: Well, here's this chapter. I tried to keep it as close to character as possible while still trying to be unique and surprise you guys, so let me know how I did;)**_


	99. Chapter 99

Chapter 99:

Rick couldn't believe that it was already time to go home.

It felt like just yesterday that they were pulling away from the loft towards the airport to bring Alexis to college and now they were heading back to New York after two wonderful weeks of vacation and good times they had been.

Like the first morning they woke up to finally be graced with the prescence of a bright blue sky and sunshine.

_As Rick began to stir, he immediately rolled over, intending to pull Kate back into his chest and go back to sleep for the next couple of hours, but instead of finding his warm and cuddly girlfriend, he found an empty bed. _

_When his sleep addled brain finally began to wake up, he registered the sound of Kate rummaging around in her suitcase at the end of the bed. _

_Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he sat up to the sight of Kate standing there in a little back bikini and he couldn't help the smirk that played over his lips. What a way to wake up. _

"_What are you doing up so early?" He asked, glancing at the clock to see that it was a little after eight. _

"_The sun is up for the first time in four days, I'm not going to waste it. Did you pack sunscreen?" Kate asked, as she made her way over to his suitcase and began to rummage through it. _

"_It's in the bag in the bathroom." Castle said, admiring Kate's perfect ass as she walked away from him. _

"_Get your suit on, we are all going to the beach, everyone is already up." Kate said as she began to lather herself with the sunscreen._

"_I can think of things I would much rather being doing." Rick said. _

_Not knowing what he was talking about, Kate looked up at him in confusion to see him staring back at her with dark, aroused eyes. Obviously, this sight of her in this suit, rubbing her hands all over herself was too much for him to handle. _

"_Beach first, sex later." Kate said, rolling her eyes at him, even though the room suddenly felt much warmer. _

"_How about sex on the beach?" Castle asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. _

"_In front of all of our friends? I think it's bad enough that they knew what we were doing on the plane, or at least Lanie and Esposito did, we had to tell Ryan. Besides, sex on the beach is not nearly as appealing as it sounds, sand gets in all the wrong places." Kate said. _

"_Why Detective, are you holding out on me?" Castle asked. _

"_Do you really want to hear about the time I had sex with another man on a beach?" Kate asked, watching as Castle's face bunched up in disgust. "That's what I thought, now get up and get dressed and meet us on the beach." _

_Before Castle could protest, Kate disappeared out the door, giving her butt a little wiggle for his benefit, before shutting the door behind her, leaving Castle all alone. _

_Honestly, all he wanted to do was curl up and go back to sleep, but he knew that he would never get back to sleep without Kate there, especially knowing that she was currently down stairs, possibly getting wet, with barely any clothing on. _

_With a renewed vigor, he sprung out of bed, pulling on his suit and applying sunscreen to his exposed skin before heading downstairs, out the back door, and onto the beach. _

_Scanning the beach, he finally saw Kate, Lanie, and Jenny a little ways down, setting up their chairs and towels, obviously content to just bask in the sun for the day, Looks like he won't be seeing a soaking wet Beckett after all. _

_Then again he could always take matters into his own hands. _

_With an impish smile on his face, he began to make his way towards them quietly, signaling for Jenny and Lanie to be quiet when they saw him coming. _

_They must have understood, because they just turned back to Kate and continued to set up their things. _

_When he was about five feet from Kate, he called out her name. _

_Kate turned around right as Castle reached her and soon found herself draped over Castle's shoulder, her ass in the air. _

_Once the surprise wore off, she realized what his plans were. _

"_Castle put me down." Kate said, trying to use her best cop voice. _

"_Nope. This is your punishment for that little butt wiggle you did before you shut the door." Castle said, obviously feeling brave because he slapped her ass to punctuate his point. _

"_Richard Castle, put me down now." Kate said, trying her best to squirm out of his grip, even resorting to pinching his sides and ass, which was right in her face. _

"_As you wish." Castle said. _

_At first, she thought that he was actually going to listen to her, that was until she found herself being thrown into the water. _

_By the time she resurfaced, Castle was already half way across the beach, running back to their group of friends who were all standing around watching in amusement. _

_Kate vowed that he was going to be sorry when she got a hold of him. _

She had gotten to him alright, later that night, long after everyone had retired to bed, but there was one thing he knew, after a punishment like _that_ he wasn't the least bit sorry for what he did.

That was only the first day though and the fun times did not end there.

There was the day where he brought Kate to little book store he had found refuge in when he needed to escape from Gina whenever they were down here for a publicity event. The store was run by Joe and his wife Elizabeth for the longest time. Whenever he would come in, Joe would have the latest selection of mystery novels set aside for Rick and Elizabeth would insist that he have some cookies, how could he refused. Unfortunately, Elizabeth had passed away shortly after he brought Alexis down for the first time. She was the one who mainly ran the store, took care of the finances and orders and everything and with her gone, the store began to suffer to the point where Joe had no option but to sell. Joe was devastated. Elizabeth loved this book shop and Rick could tell that Joe felt like by selling the store, he was giving up a part of his wife. So Rick did the only thing he could think of, just like he bought the Old Haunt, he bought the book store with the instructions that nothing changed. Joe would still run it, he would still make all the decisions just like he always did and Rick would still pay a visit whenever he was in Florida. In a lot of ways, Joe was like the father he never had and he was an important person in his life. Even though he didn't come to Florida that much anymore, he made sure to call Joe every couple of months.

When Kate told him where they were going, he was excited. He had many conversations with Joe about Kate and had always wanted to introduce her to the old man, but never thought that he would get the chance, but now he did and he was not disappointed.

Joe absolutely adored Kate. He couldn't get enough of her and spent the entire time they were there telling her stories about Rick in his younger years, telling her all about Elizabeth and how he was absolutely positive that she would have adored her, he even wanted to know about Kate's life, claiming that Rick had the tendency to fabricate things so he always had to get the story directly from the source. When Kate told Joe about her mother, he internally cringed, knowing that this was a sensitive topic and he didn't want Joe to say the wrong thing, but just like he always did, Joe handled it with grace, not even hesitating when he stood up from his chair and wrapped Kate in a big, fatherly hug, telling her that while he never met her mother and knew Kate mostly through the things that Rick had told him, he knew in his heart that her mother would have been so proud of the young woman she turned out to be.

When Kate caught his eye, he saw that she had a few tears rolling down her cheek, but she had a smile on her face, they were happy tears and he knew that he had made the right decision in bringing her here, especially when Joe pulled him aside and told him that he expected an invitation to the wedding.

Then there was the night that they decided to play Pictionary and Esposito, Ryan, Lanie, and Jenny had been convinced that Castle and Beckett were somehow cheating because the things that they were drawing on the board were no where near being related to the phrases they were supposed to be guessing, yet they got it every time.

Eventually, when the entire group watched every little move they made during one of their turns and decided that there was no way they could have cheated, they were forced to concede to the idea that the reason they were able to guess what the phrases were was because Castle and Beckett had their own freaky, special connection and the clues that were given only made sense to them.

But there was one conversation that stuck out in his mind and that was what he was thinking about as he sat on the plane, Kate sleeping peacefully next to him.

He had woken up the day before they were scheduled to leave to once again find the bed next to him empty. He heard someone shuffling around the kitchen so he just assumed that Kate had woken up early and had made her way into the kitchen to make breakfast, but when he got there, instead of finding Kate, he found Lanie sitting at the counter flipping through the newspaper.

"_Where's Kate?" He asked as he grabbed a mug, filling it with coffee. _

"_She went for a run, something about a certain writer cooking way too much good food and not wanting to put any weight on." Lanie said, knowing exactly what the writer was going to say to that. _

"_She needs to eat." Castle said. _

_There it was. _

"_I know, and she does. Trust me, if you saw her eating habits before you came around, you would be more than happy with how she eats now. There were times when the only thing she would have is coffee and a few handfuls of skittles or m&m's for two, three days at a time." Lanie said. _

"_Looks like I came at the perfect time." Castle said, a slight smile on his face knowing that he could get Kate to take care of herself and if she wouldn't, he had no trouble taking care of her himself. _

"_You're good for her, writer boy. I know we weren't always so accepting of you following her around, especially after you left that summer with Gina, but you're good for her. When I first met her, I never thought that I would ever see the day that Kate stepped away from her mother's case and that was when she didn't have nearly as much information as she did when she actually walked away." Lanie said. _

"_Yeah, I guess I just made sure she knew that she had more to live for than just her mother's case." Castle said. _

"_You did good, writer boy, you did good. Speaking of doing good, what are you waiting for?" Lanie asked. _

"_What do you mean?" Castle asked, confused by the sudden change in direction of their conversation. _

"_It was quite some time ago that I found out about your plans to pop the question to a certain detective and yet here we are a month later and you have yet to popped the question. So again I ask, what are you waiting for?" Lanie asked. _

"_It's not so much that I'm waiting, I just haven't found the right time. There was Christmas, but she asked me to make the holiday special for her, to bring back that magic and I didn't want her to think that I was only proposing in an attempt to make her enjoy the holidays. I wanted her to know that when I was proposing, I was doing it because I wanted to and for no other reason. Then after Christmas we had to take Alexis to college and I didn't want it to be overshadowed by that either. It just has to be the right time." Castle said. _

"_Okay, but don't wait too long." Lanie said, going back to her paper. _

"_Why? Did she say something?" Castle asked. _

"_No." Lanie said, but not very convincingly. _

"_Lanie." Castle said. _

"_Fine. She may have mentioned something after your date night in LA." Lanie said. _

"_After my date night? Why would she… oh! She thought I was going to propose then?" Castle asked. _

"_Bingo." Lanie said. _

"_But if she mentioned it to you, that means she it bothered her." Castle said, putting the pieces together. _

"_Mhm." Lanie said, watching the wheels turn in the writers head. _

"_And if bothered her that means she was disappointed that I didn't propose." Castle said, the surprise clear in his voice. _

"_Is it really that hard to believe that she would want to marry you?" Lanie asked. _

"_Honestly, up until the other night when she told me that she would marry me right now, I didn't think she would be ready and I thought for sure that when I actually got the nerves to ask her, I would have to convince her, give her time to think about it. She spent so many years avoiding this, avoiding us that sometimes it's hard to believe that she is actually there, that she is actually with me, waking up next to me in the morning in our loft." Castle said. _

"_Castle, she moved in with you, she wouldn't have done that if she wasn't sure that she would never be leaving." Lanie said. _

"_I know, but you know Kate, she isn't always the most vocal when it comes to saying what she wants and how she feels, it's hard to tell where I stand with her sometimes." Castle said. _

"_You know she feels the same, right?" Lanie asked. _

"_What do you mean?" Castle asked. _

"_What I'm about tell you stays between us and if I find out that you told Kate that I told you this, I will make sure you disappear and your body is never found, got it?" Lanie asked. _

"_Got it." Castle said. _

"_Kate has the same insecurities that you do a lot of the time. I'm not saying I blame you, because I get it, you had to protect her heart when she pushed you away time and time again, but a lot of the time, Kate has the same insecurities as you. She thought that when you didn't propose to her, it was because YOU didn't want to marry her, she was convinced that you had changed your mind, that you realized that she was too complicated and not worth it. I'm not saying that you did anything wrong, because like I said, I understand why you waited, but she isn't the only one that holds back sometimes. I see the way you look at her when she isn't looking, I can see how fiercely you want to love her but you hold back because you are afraid to push too far and have her run and to Kate, who also know the extent of your feelings, she thinks that your holding back because you don't want her, but I'm telling you, she does. Love her with everything you have because she isn't going anywhere." Lanie said. _

"_Wow." Castle said. _

"_I know, its hard to believe that we are talking about Kate Beckett, but stop waiting for the perfect moment to propose, instead take a moment and make it perfect. It doesn't matter if you're just sitting on the couch one day and you ask her because it will still be perfect for Kate because it's you." Lanie said. _

"_You think so?" Castle asked. _

"_I know so." Lanie said. _

"_Thanks Lanie. I needed to hear that." Castle said. _

"_No problem writer boy. Just make sure when you finally ask her, I'm the first person she calls?" Lanie asked. _

"_I'll do my best." Castle said with a chuckle. _

It was time. As he looked over to see the peaceful look on Kate's face, he knew that it was time, he knew that no matter when or where he asked her, it would be the perfect place because he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and she loved him and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

As they began their decent into JFK, Castle made a decision.

He was going to ask Katherine Houghton Beckett to marry him.

_**Author's Note: I know this was a different chapter, but I really wanted to progress to the proposal stage of the story, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging with their vacation in Florida, so I settled for half way in between. I hope you liked it. **_

_**Personally, I liked the whole Castle and Lanie conversation. I don't think we see enough of these in the show. I personally believe that Lanie and Castle have a pretty good friendship and I would love to see more conversations like this in future episodes. **_

_**Enjoy!**_


	100. Chapter 100

_**Author's Note: I want to apologize beforehand for the extreme length of this chapter, but in my opinion, it was the most important chapter of the story and I wanted to make it perfect for everyone who has stuck with me until this point and I felt like if I tried to restrict the length, it wouldn't have been nearly as good as I could have made it. I promise it will be worth it. **_

Chapter 100:

To anybody else who walked into the precinct, except for maybe a certain writer, it would look like Kate was doing paperwork, after all, she definitely had enough of it to do after a month, but the reality was Kate was somewhere else, lost in her own thoughts, unaware of the world around her.

It had been a little over a week and a half since they all got back from Florida and returned to work and Castle has yet to return to the precinct, claiming that he had to write.

She understood, she really did. Did she like going to the precinct without him? No, but she couldn't remember him writing much during her vacation and she knew that Black Pawn wouldn't be happy if he got too far behind on his deadline, especially if they found out that it was because of her, not for a case, but just for her own selfish needs, but then Paula called to let Castle know that his first draft had been looked over and was ready for revisions, a first draft that had been turned in a few days before they left for LA and Florida which meant that the fact that Castle said he was staying home to write was a lie.

She had brushed it off at first, coming to the conclusion that he was just trying to adjust to the fact that Alexis was no longer home or he just needed a little time away from her after spending almost a month straight together, which stung a little, but she understood.

But now, now she was suspicious. For the past three days, he had been up and gone before she woke up and he didn't come home until well after she went to sleep, he even started to forget to leave her coffee in the morning, which to anyone else would seem trivial, but to her, it worried her. He never forgot her coffee.

The skeptic in her had immediately went to the suspicion that he was cheating, but Ryan and Esposito seemed to know what was going on in the world of Castle and what he was up to and if he was cheating, she knew that Castle would already be stored away in the morgue, his death certificate signed as an accidental death, but that do much to ease her worries because something was still up.

As she made her way home that night, not surprised to find that Castle was once again MIA, she discovered a newfound sense of determination to find out what was going on with Castle. She wasn't on call that weekend so if it came down to it, she would handcuff him to something and they wouldn't leave until he told her what he has been up to.

As she drifted off to sleep, her traitorous mind decided to torture her and give her play by plays of all the different ways the next few days could go, none of which involved Castle staying with her, but instead realizing that she wasn't worth it, that he couldn't handle her and all the baggage she brought with her.

The next morning, as Kate began to wake up, she didn't even have to open her eyes to know that he wasn't there, she couldn't feel the warmth that was usually radiating off of him, she couldn't hear the light snores he emitted when he was deep in sleep, and she couldn't feel his beautiful blue eyes watching her, one of this favorite things to do on the mornings he woke up before her.

Rolling over, she opened her eyes, expecting his side of the bed to be completely empty, but instead she was greeted with the sight of a single, red rose and a note propped up on his pillow, her name written on it in his familiar handwriting.

She couldn't help but let a small smile grace her lips as a tiny bit of hope made itself known somewhere in her heart. She was still worried, but somehow the sight of that flower lying their next to her, made things better. Castle was a lot of things, but cruel wasn't one of them, he wouldn't leave her a flower if he was going to leave her.

Propping herself up against her pillow, she picked up the note, took a deep breath, and then flipped it open.

_Dear Kate, _

_First, I would like to apologize for lying to you this past week. I know that you were home when Paula called so you obviously heard the message and know that I haven't been writing, but I needed some sort of excuse as to why I wasn't coming into the precinct so I could put this whole thing together. I just didn't plan on Paula calling the house phone since she always calls my cell. _

_When I found out that you knew I was lying, I knew that I had to avoid you as much as possible until I could put my plan into action. That is the only reason I started to leave early in the mornings before you woke up and coming home late after you were already asleep. I didn't trust myself to keep my mouth shut and I didn't want to ruin my plan. I chose to tell Ryan and Esposito what I was up to because I knew that sometime in the course of the last few days you've probably started to think that I was cheating on you, but I want to assure you I would never do that to you, there's only you Kate and I knew that if you knew that the boys knew what I was doing, you would know I was faithful. _

_That being said, get your adorable little butt out of bed, take a shower, and get ready for the adventure of your lifetime. _

_Always, _

_Rick. _

Kate couldn't help the smile the adorned her face as she got up and made her way into the bathroom to shower. She should have known that Castle was just being his quirky self and wanted to do something special for her.

After taking a quick shower, Kate made her way towards the kitchen, expecting to find Castle, but instead she found a cup of coffee with another note propped up against it.

Taking a sip of coffee, taking a moment to bask in the sweet taste she missed so much in the past couple of days, she sat down at the counter and picked up the note to read.

_Dear Kate, _

_When I first decided to start bringing you coffee, I planned on it just being something I could use to get on your good side, especially with the fact that you can't function without your caffeine, but then, you gave me that smile, the smile you only give me and I knew that I would be getting up fifteen minutes early every morning just so I can bring you a cup of coffee and see you smile. _

_It became something special to not only me, but special to you too. I still remember it like it was yesterday, you dragging me into the conference room when Natalie Rhodes was shadowing you. You were so furious that she took your coffee, I think you might have even uttered the words "What's next, my soul?" At the time, I thought that you were overreacting, but then I realized that you weren't upset that she simply took your coffee, you were upset that she took your coffee from me. That's when I realized that it was as special to you as it was to me and I promise that I will continue to bring you coffee and make you smile for as long as you'll allow. _

_Well, this is where your journey starts. Follow the clues and I'll hopefully see you soon. _

_Always, _

_Rick_

_Clue: Go to the place where our journey began. _

Stuffing both notes in her pocket, she grabbed her keys and made her way out of the loft.

Her first thought was to go to the book store where she stood in line to get her book signed so many years ago, but she quickly put that thought aside because she knew that's where her journey began, not theirs, which left the night that she crashed her favorite author's favorite book party to bring him in for questioning.

As she pushed open the all too familiar doors, she was met with an empty room except for a young man cleaning the bar who looked up when he heard the door open.

"Can I help you?" the young man asked.

"Um, sorry, I was looking for something or someone, I'm not entirely sure, but I might be in the wrong place." Kate said, seeing no signs of Castle or a note.

"If you're Kate Beckett then you are most definitely in the right place." The young man said, reaching behind the bar for a note matching the others.

"Oh, thank you." Kate said, walking forward to take the note.

"No problem." The young man said before returning to his task.

Taking a seat at the bar, ironically the same end of the bar that Castle and Alexis were at when she was first here, she flipped the note open and began to read.

_Dear Kate,_

_It was not too long ago that I found out that my books helped you, maybe even saved you. That meant the world to me, that even before I our journey officially began, I was there for you. _

_I know telling me that story was a big deal for you and I don't know if you would have ever planned on telling me had I not found the book, but I will be forever honored that you shared that piece of you with me. That being said, I want you to know that you saved me too. _

_I was struggling. I had just killed off Derek Storm, I was sick and tired of keeping up the fake playboy persona that Black Pawn had created for me with all the late night parties and women, just sick and tired of everything. The only good moments were when I was spending time with Alexis. To top it all off, I was in the midst of one of the worst bouts of writers block and I had critics left and right saying that my days as a best selling novelist were over, which I actually believed at the time. _

_I was pretty much at rock bottom, but then this no nonsense detective crashed my party to bring me in for questioning on a murder based off of one of my books and I swear I could see the end of the tunnel. _

_So thank you. Even though I was a monumental ass in the beginning and it took me a little bit to realize how special you truly were, I have never been so thankful that you were the one that got the call for that murder because the second you stepped through those doors, my life was changed forever. _

_Thank you for saving me, _

_Rick_

_Clue: For the life you lost, For the life you saved. _

On any other day, Kate would have been annoyed at having to return to the place she had just left, but today she just couldn't bring herself to care. She was so ridiculously in love with this man and the fact that he was bringing her on an adventure using not only his words but also the memories they created together that she was pretty sure she would fly to the other side of the world if he asked her to.

Thanking the bartender, she added the note to the collection she already had and made her way back to the loft.

Unlocking the door to the loft, she made her way straight into the bedroom, not even bothering to take off her coat knowing that this journey was far from over as she lifted the lid to the little wooden box that housed her mom's ring and her dad's watch and sure enough there was another note.

Taking the note out, she gently closed the lid before making her way over to the bed to sit, flipping the card open to read.

_Dear Kate, _

_Even to this day, I can still remember the haunted look in your eyes that you had when you told me what happened to your mom, about the life you saved and the life you lost. _

_I can't imagine how hard it was for you to share that story with me, especially with the way I had been treating you in those first couple weeks of our partnership. I don't think I had ever been so ashamed of myself, I was so ashamed with the way that I just rattled off my theory on why you became a cop like it was some sort of game, ashamed with the fact that up until that point I thought you were the way you were because you hadn't had sex in who knows how long, I was ashamed in myself that it took you telling me about your mother's murder for me to realize how truly extraordinary you were. _

_You had been hurt in the worst possible way, forced to close yourself off when your dad started drinking so you didn't have to experience that type of pain again. You could have given up so easily, succumbed to your grief, but you didn't, you somehow found some little sliver of hope, of strength and you not only saved your dad's life, but you made a promise to yourself that you were going to do everything you could to make sure that nobody ever had to go through what you do everyday, you chose to give a voice to the victims and your mom would be so proud of you Kate, I never want you to doubt that, no matter what happens, don't doubt that your mom loves you and that she would be so damn proud, because I am so damn proud of you and I love you more each and every day because of the things you do for everyone around you. _

_I know that it was selfish, that I never should have gone digging into your past, especially when it was so painful for you, but all I could think about was how you fought to bring justice to the families of the victims, yet everyday you had to wake up, not having justice for yourself, your father, and your mother. I thought that maybe if I just took a look at it by some miracle, I would find something, but I never actually believed that I actually would and then when I brought it up, you told me that if I dug into your mother's case, our partnership was over. _

_I still remember how sick I felt when you said that because I knew, I knew that even if it meant I would never see you again, I couldn't keep something like that from you, especially when it had the potential to make or break the case. _

_I hope you know that by now that I never meant to hurt you, that it killed me knowing how hard it was for you to open up and share that part of your life with me and then I broke your trust. _

_I don't think I will ever understand why you let me stay, why you let me back into your life, I don't think even you understand it, but I am so grateful that you did. I don't know what I did, but I must have saved a bus load of children in my past life to deserve your forgiveness after what I did, so thank you for having a moment of insanity and letting me stay. _

_Always, _

_Rick. _

_Clue: To the extraordinary KB and all my friends at the 12__th__._

By the time she made it half way through the note, the writing on the page was blurred from the tears in her eyes and by the time she was finished, she didn't even try to stop them from cascading down her cheeks. She would never understand how this man always managed to turn her into a blubbering mess with just his words.

There was one thing he was wrong about though, she knew exactly why she let him come back. When he came back to the precinct that night, she sat there listening to the most sincere, heartbreaking apology she had ever heard, an apology she never thought she would hear come out of the mouth of Richard Castle, but just one look in his eyes and she knew that he was truly sorry, that he didn't regret the fact that his actions brought an end to their partnership, but that they hurt her and the fact that he cared enough to come back to apologize, never once asking to come back to shadow her or attempting to use his connections to get back into the precinct was enough for her. That's why she let him stay because she knew he was truly sorry.

When she managed to calm herself down, she reread the clue as to where she was supposed to go next and recognized it as the dedication to Heat Wave. She was half way to the door, intending to head to the building they held the launch party at, but then she froze. The book party wasn't what was special, the book party wasn't what held meaning for them, it was the actual book that held their memories.

Turning around, she made her way to her bookshelf, pulling out her copy of Heat Wave. She was slightly confused when she opened to the dedication page and didn't find a note, but then it clicked, Castle would know that she would need to laugh after the last note which only meant one thing, it was on page 105. Sure enough, when she turned to the page containing their alternate ego's first steamy sex scene, there was the note tucked in between the pages and as much as she tried not to, she couldn't stop herself from laughing. That ridiculous man.

Placing the book back on her bookshelf, she made her way over to the couch with the note.

_Dear Kate, _

_Page 105, huh? You know, you weren't a very good liar back then, I know exactly why you went in that bathroom, but don't worry, your secret is safe with me;) _

_It had always been my dream to write about a certain British spy from the moment I picked up Casino Royale and knew that I wanted to be a writer. _

_I never dreamed of a scenario where I would actually consider turning down an offer that would fulfill that dream, but when Paula told me about the deal, instead of feeling excited like I should have, I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach because while it was my dream, it meant that it would be the end of Nikki Heat, that it would be the end of you and I wasn't ready for that, not when I knew how truly extraordinary you were. _

_Then Paula came up to me and told me to just get you out of my system so she could sign the book deal, the book deal I dreamed of and I fully intended to, I was going to walk up to you, ask you out to dinner, take you back to my place, get it out of my system, and take the deal, but then when I walked up to you and you commented on the dedication and I told you I meant it, you gave me this look and I knew right then and there that you weren't someone that I could get out of my system, you weren't someone I wanted to get out of my system. I was still going to ask you out, but for an entirely different reason, but then right before I did, I remembered what my mom said about you being glad to get me out of your hair and then you said you would be relieved if I was offered it and I chickened out and before I knew it we somehow ended up mad at each other. _

_Like I said, I would never thought I would consider giving that kind of deal up, but when I got it, I realized that when it came down to it, I would chose you over my dream any day, even back then when I had no idea how great we were because even as a friend, you were worth it, you've always been worth it. _

_Always, _

_Rick. _

_Clue: I owe everything to the man who invented bathtubs. _

That clue stumped Kate, especially when she made her way to all the bathrooms and didn't find a note. Why would Castle be thankful for the man who invented bathtubs?

Then she remembered, the case with the serial killer who was obsessed with Nikki Heat. He had placed a bomb in her apartment and she dove into her tub right before the bomb went off. Had it not been for the shear strength of her tub, she wouldn't be here today, that's why Castle is thankful for the man who invented the bathtub, but as far as she knew, the apartment building that she used to live in had been irreversibly damaged in the explosion and had never been damaged and she was pretty sure Castle wouldn't just leave a note sitting outside somewhere, but that was the only place she could think of so she made her way out of the loft once again, and began the journey to her old home, the one she never could quite replace until she moved into the loft.

When she pulled up to the old apartment building, her suspicions were correct, the doors were bolted shut, the windows boarded up and there was no way Castle could have gotten in there. As she got out of her car, intending to look around for a note that maybe he stuck somewhere, she saw a familiar flash of red hair.

"Martha?" she asked, slightly surprised to see the older woman there.

"Kate darling! I was wondering when you were going to make it here." Martha exclaimed, not looking the least bit annoyed that she had to stand here waiting for Kate to figure out the clues.

"So you know what Castle is planning?" Kate asked.

"I do and let me tell you it's a marvelous plan. I don't think he was planning on telling me, but then as I'm sure you already know, his plan backfired a little bit when Paula called and he didn't trust himself to not open his mouth and spill the secret so he came and hung out at my dance studio. I was a bit suspicious the first day but figured you just kicked him out of the loft or precinct for the day and he didn't want to be alone, but then when he showed up the next day I made him tell me what was up and of course I had to be part of it." Martha said as she dug a note just like the other's out of her purse.

"Thank you Martha and sorry for keeping you waiting for so long." Kate said.

"Nonsense, knowing my son, he didn't make the clues straight forward." Martha said with a wave of her hand.

"It probably didn't help that he had me leave the loft, go somewhere else, and then go back to the loft." Kate said with a chuckle.

"That's Richard for you. Well I must be off. Good luck kiddo." Martha said, pulling her into a hug before getting into a cab and driving away.

When the cab pulled around the corner and disappeared, Kate sat down on the stoop of her old apartment building to read the note.

_Dear Kate, _

_You chose me. _

_You had the man who killed your mother right there in your precinct, you had the chance to get the answers you have dreamt of getting ever since you came home from dinner only to have your entire life flipped upside down and you chose me. _

_You chose me and then a few weeks later I brought a serial killer to your doorstep. _

_I know that at the time, I told you that I didn't regret writing the books because the way I figured, at least this way, there was someone smart enough to catch him, but that was a lie, not the part about you being smart enough to catch him, but the part about regretting writing the books. I don't want you to think that I regret meeting you, because I don't. Besides Alexis, you are the best thing that ever happened to me, but had you died in that apartment that night, I never would have forgiven myself. I never would have forgiven myself knowing that you died because I forced myself into your life, knowing that I would have to stand there and watch your father bury you knowing that he not only lost his wife, but he lost his daughter too because of me. _

_Standing outside on the street that night, watching your apartment go up in flames, I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me because standing there watching the remnants of your belongings float to the ground, I knew that I was in love with. That was when I realized it and there was a very good chance, you weren't coming out of that building alive, but I had to be sure. If there was a chance that you were still in there, alive, I was going to get you out or die trying. _

_I loved you then and I love you now. _

_As cliché as it sounds, I would run through a thousand burning buildings just for the chance to tell you that one more time. _

_Always, _

_Rick_

_Clue: See you in the fall._

See you in the fall. The five words that broke her heart.

With one last glance at her old apartment building, she stuffed the note in her pocket, got in her car and made her way to the precinct where she knew her next note would be.

As she stepped off the elevator and into the bullpen, she was surprised to see Esposito and Ryan sitting at their desks, looking up with knowing smiles when they saw her.

"You two are sitting around the precinct on a weekend you have off?" Kate asked as she walked up to them.

"Castle needed our help, Beckett." Esposito said.

"What do you guys get, a week each in the Ferrari?" Kate said with a quirked eyebrow.

"Nope, this one is on the house." Esposito said.

"Now I'm officially scared. I'm surprised Gates is letting us in here, she hates it when we are in the precinct during our off duty hours." Kate said.

"Apparently Castle talked to her and explained what he was doing and she agreed that he could use the precinct as long as we left after you were done doing what you needed to do." Ryan said.

"Hmm. Well let's not keep her waiting any longer than we have to. Where's the next note?" Kate asked.

"Conference room." Esposito said, nodding his head towards the room he was talking about.

As Kate turned around to shut the door to the conference room, she caught sight of Gates standing in her door way, watching her before she turned around and disappeared into her office, but before she did, Kate could have sworn that she saw a slight smile on her Captain's face.

Shaking her head in disbelief, she shut the door and drew the blinds before sitting down and pulling Castle's note towards her to read.

_Dear Kate, _

_Watching you with Demming… it was hard, too hard and I hope you understand that, I hope that you understand why I had to leave even if it may not have been the best way to handle things. _

_By that point in our partnership, I wasn't there for the books anymore, I was there for you. I came back everyday to see you, but when Demming showed up it just seemed like you didn't want me around. _

_I'm not going to lie, it hurt. _

_I know that you had every right to date whomever you wanted. We weren't seeing each other, hell we never talked about seeing each other, but at the very least, I thought we were friends, but it didn't even seem like that. I felt like we were right back in the first couple weeks of me shadowing you and I was nothing but the annoying writer you couldn't wait to get rid of and that is why I left. _

_As hard as it was to watch the woman I love be with another man, I could have handled it because you were happy and at least we would still be friends, but when it was clear, or when I thought it was clear that you didn't even want that I had to get out of there, I had to leave before you completely pushed me away because you fell in love with this other man and didn't have any use for me anymore. _

_I need you to know that as far as Gina goes, the only reason that I decided to give our relationship another chance was because I honestly thought that any chance that I would have a shot with you was gone. I was so sure that I was going to come back to find out that you and Demming were engaged or already married. I never stopped loving you and I never got over you that summer. There wasn't a moment that I wasn't thinking about you. I knew in my heart that no matter who I ended up with, they will always be second best to you. Nobody could compare to you. _

_I never want to have to wait until the fall again, Kate. If you have something important to say, promise me that you will make me listen, no matter what I'm doing, where we are, or who we are around, don't let me walk away without you telling me what you have to say because I never want to have to wait until fall again. _

_Always, _

_Rick. _

_Clue: You let me win the bet. _

Kate had been pissed at Castle after he left and it was awhile before she stopped being angry, but sitting here, reading this letter… now she was just pissed at herself.

She knew what she was doing, she saw all the signs. She saw the hurt crash across his face when she brushed off his attempts to share his theories with her and instead went to find Tom for help. She knew that coffee was their thing, even if they were just friends at the time, that was their thing and yet once again she brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. Then to top it off, he found out that she had been lying to him about having plans with Demming that weekend he asked her to come to the Hamptons with him.

In all fairness, she was actually considering going to the Hamptons, but she understood why he felt the way he did, why to him, it seemed like just one more thing to throw in his face, one more thing that broke his heart a little more.

She had been playing a game and in the process she got both of them hurt.

Looking back at the clue, she narrowed her eyes.

She knew exactly what he was talking about, but that didn't mean that she knew where he hid the note, there were a number of places that they went during that case, but none of them were special to their relationship which meant that it was hidden somewhere else.

Looking back down at the note, it hit her.

Esposito.

He had known right away that she had figured it out before Castle but decided to wait because she didn't want him to leave.

Pulling out her phone, she scrolled through her contacts until she found his name and pulled up a new message.

**Kate: Do you have my next note?**

**Esposito: You're good. **

**Kate: I'm a detective. Can you bring it to me? **

Kate had just finished stuffing the last note in her pocket when Esposito and Ryan came in, jackets on, note in hand.

"Are you guys leaving?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, we had instructions from Castle to stay only until we gave you that note, which we did, so now we get to leave." Ryan said.

"Good luck Beckett." Esposito said before they both backed out of the room, shutting the door after them as Kate turned her attention back to the note.

_Dear Kate, _

_I know I should have called, I know it wasn't fair of me to just spring it on you that I was leaving and then basically disappear, no phone calls, no emails, nothing. _

_I can't tell you how many times I sat there, staring at my phone, desperate to hear your voice, even if it's just for a few seconds, but no matter how long I sat there and stared, I just couldn't find the courage to actually call you. I missed you so much, but I couldn't call and hear the happiness in your voice knowing that it was because of him. Just the thought made me sick to my stomach. I know that even if I couldn't bring myself to call you, it wasn't a good enough reason not to call the boys, but I knew that I would be able to stop myself from asking them how you were doing and then once again I would have to listen about how happy you were and know it was because of him. _

_I know this sounds bad, I know that it seems like I didn't want you to be happy, but that's not true at all. I did want you to be happy. If Demming made you happy, then I wanted you to be with him and find that happiness, I just couldn't watch it happen. _

_I don't know if you know this or not, but you get this expression on your face when you put the pieces together on a case. I couldn't describe it if my life depended on it, but I know that face like the back of my hand. _

_I saw that face that day and I knew that you figured it out, I knew that you had just figured out the key to winning the bet and you were going to kick me out of your life forever and there was nothing I could do about it because I would have done anything for you, even if it meant breaking my own heart again, but I waited and waited and you didn't say anything. You just stood there, trying to make it look like you were still trying to figure it out while watching me out of the corner of your eyes and that's when I realized that you wanted me to stay. _

_I figured it out you know, why you were so mad at me. The entire case I didn't understand until I thought about that fact that you let me win the bet. You wanted me there, even before I left for the Hamptons, even though you were with Demming at the time, you wanted me there as your partner and I just left, I disappeared and never called and you wanted me there. _

_I wish I could change how I acted, I wish I had sucked it up and called you that summer, but I didn't and I guess all I can say is thank you for letting me win the bet, thank you for letting me stay even after I gave you absolutely no reason to want me around. _

_Always, _

_Rick. _

_Clue: I really should tell my mother I love her more. _

Kate instantly felt a chill run through her body. Most people would think that his clue was funny, but her, she knew that he was talking about the case with 3XK and the fact that Castle and Ryan had almost died that night if it hadn't been for the fact that Martha knew something was up when he told her he loved her and had called Beckett right away.

It was the case that Kate realized that if something happened to Castle, she wouldn't be able to survive.

Gathering up the note, she flipped off the light and made her way to the bullpen, knowing exactly where he wanted her to go.

Before the elevator doors could fully close, a brief case got in their way, causing them to open back up so that Captain Gates could step in.

"Good afternoon detective." Gates said as they waited for the doors to close.

"Afternoon sir." Kate said. Not wanting to be stuck in an elevator talking to her captain, she contemplated darting out of the elevator with the excuse that she forgot something, but before she could move the doors closed, sealing her fate and unfortunately for her, silence was not something Gates was going to grant.

"He's a good man." Gates said, continuing to look straight ahead.

"Excuse me?" Kate asked, caught of guard by the statement.

"Mr. Castle, he's a good man. If I find out that you told anyone this, Mr. Castle will be out of here faster than you can say Mayor. When I first got the evaluations from Captain Montgomery, I was surprised that he not only allowed Mr. Castle to remain in the precinct, but encouraged it. He seemed to think that Mr. Castle not only made you a better cop, but made your entire team better. I thought at first, that he was probably just saying that because of your connections with the mayor, but then when I looked over the numbers, they matched the claims your former captain made. Even then, I was still skeptical. It was pretty clear from what I read that there was more between you two than just friendship even if you weren't ready to admit it to yourselves. In my experience, having partners with a connection that the two of you had proves to be a liability, prevents clear headed thinking and that's when they are both cops, let alone one cop and an NYPD consultant. It took me awhile, but when Mr. Castle came into my office the other day and explained in detail what he was planning on doing, I finally understood why instead of your feelings being a liability, they become a strength when it comes to working together. I get it detective, and as long as that dynamic stays the same, we won't have any problems. Understood?" Gates asked as they reached the lobby.

"Understood." Kate said, standing frozen to the spot as Gates gave a short nod and then disappeared out of the elevator.

As the doors began to slide shut, Kate snapped out of her day dream and slid out the doors just in time, making her way to her car.

As she pulled into traffic, she couldn't help but wish that she had somehow recorded that conversation because let's face it, if she told anyone what Gates had just said to her, they would probably lock her up in a loony bin and throw away the key.

When she finally pulled up in front of the little set of apartment buildings that they had set Jerry Tyson up in, she was surprised to see Maddie sitting on the bench by the pool that her and Castle had sat at after she had found him.

Turning off the car, she pulled her coat tighter around her and made her way over to her best friend from high school.

"Hey Becks." Maddie said.

"How long have you been waiting out here? It's freezing." Kate said.

"Not long, the boys texted me after you showed up at the precinct, besides it's so worth it." Maddie said with a grin that only meant she was up to something.

"Why is it worth it?" Kate asked, afraid of the answer.

"Because shared a little something with me, a little something about the fact that you two are planning to start a family which means that I was right when you crashed our dinner and dragged me into your interrogation room. You wanted little Castle babies then and you still want them now." Maddie said with a smug smirk.

"For the record, I never denied that I didn't want to have children with Castle, I simply alerted you to the fact that Castle could hear our conversation and I didn't want him to know that I sometimes thought about what it would be like to have kids with him." Kate said.

"I knew it. I knew you were jealous!" Maddie exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now can I have this note or what, I'm freezing my ass off." Kate said.

Maddie just rolled her eyes as she dug out the note and handed it to her.

"How many more of these are there?" Kate asked.

"I have no idea, I was just told about my part of the crazy mission." Maddie said.

"I'm going to guess that you're taking off now?" Kate asked as Maddie stood up.

"It's part of my instructions. In all seriousness though, Becks, I'm glad your happy." Maddie said.

"Thanks Maddie." Kate said as she made her way back to her car. There is no way she was going to sit out in the cold and read this letter, the temperature had dropped significantly since she had been by her apartment earlier that afternoon.

After turning on the car and cranking up the heat, Kate flipped open the note.

_Dear Kate, _

_I know I probably shouldn't have told Maddie that we are going to start trying for a baby, but I couldn't help it, after all, she was the first one to call you out on the fact that you wanted to make perfect little babies with my genes;) _

_I never planned on telling you this, but I almost left. I almost walked out of that precinct again, this time determined not to come back. _

_When I saw you walk away with Josh the first time he came to the precinct, I almost left because I knew that this time it was different, I knew that this wasn't like Demming because you seemed genuinely happy with this guy and there was a very good chance that it could be serious, that it could actually end up in marriage and the 2.5 kids with the white picket fence and big back yard. I thought that watching you with Demming had been bad, but this, this was ten times worse, so I almost walked away before you completely destroyed me, but I didn't, I decided to wait for a sign, wait and see if I still had a fighting chance. _

_I got that sign during the 3XK case. _

_My mother once told me that when people are in love, they do irrational things, things they wouldn't otherwise do in different situations. That night when you broke down that door, refusing to wait for backup, refusing to follow protocol, coming to me first instead of a clearly injured Ryan, that was my sign because you weren't the hard ass, by the book, Detective Beckett I've spent so much time following. _

_To put it simply, you were doing something you wouldn't have otherwise done had it been anyone else tied up in that room because whether you realized it at the time or not, you loved me and love makes you do irrational things. _

_Even if you had followed protocol, even if you had waited for backup and checked on Ryan, I would have still known because when you told me that you were glad I was okay, I knew, I don't know how I knew, I just did that you were really saying I'm glad you're okay because I don't know what I would do without you. _

_I knew that night that I still had a fighting chance, that as long as I hung in there and kept showing up, I had a fighting chance. _

_Thank you for giving me a fighting chance, thank you for giving me the chance to tell you I love you everyday for as long as I can. _

_Always, _

_Rick. _

_Clue: I am insulted that you've only ever given me flowers once in our entire relationship. _

Kate had to reread the note just to make sure she read it right and sure enough she had.

She almost lost Castle again right after she got him back. She could admit that Josh was a bit more serious than Demming, but he was still just a place holder, someone to be there to keep Castle from pushing her too far, to make her admit her feelings for him before she was ready, but he was never permanent. Even after she spent the summer building up walls around her heart so she would never get hurt by Castle again, she still knew that he was the one she would end up with, but she had almost lost him again.

As she put her car in drive and began her journey to Drake's Magic Shop, where she knew she would find the next note, she made a promise to herself that no matter what happened, no matter how mad she was or how hurt she was, she would never make Castle feel like she wanted him to leave. She couldn't handle it if she lost him so she wasn't going to, she was going to tell him how she felt, she was going to stop hiding behind that wall which she still did sometimes even though they had been together for almost a year. She was done running.

Making her way into the joke shop, she had a new sense of determination to tell him exactly that the next time she saw him, to tell him that no matter where life led them, she was done running.

"Good afternoon! Welcome to Drake's Magic Shop! How may I help a beautiful woman like you?" the man behind the counter asked rather enthusiastically.

"Uh, I'm Kate Beckett, I think my boyfriend Richard Castle might have left a note here for me?" Kate said, a little creeped out by the way this man was leering at her.

"Ah, yes Detective Beckett, we were expecting you." the man said, handing her the note, his hand brushing against her hand and lingering far longer than necessary.

"Thank you." Kate said, barely managing a smile before turning around and quickly exciting the shop. She was going to have to find a new joke shop for Castle because they were never coming back here again.

As she got back into her car, she was going to sit there and read her note, but when she glanced back at the joke shop, the worker was staring at her through the window, he even waved at her when he saw that she was looking at him.

Long story short, she turned on her car, putting it into drive, and drove down the street a few blocks before pulling into another parking spot, grabbing the note from the passenger side seat.

_Dear Kate, _

_My relationship with Gina started going south long before this case, but up until then, I thought that if I just stuck it out, things would get better, we would find our rhythm and rekindle the romance we had in the early stages of our marriage so I kept working at it, even when all we pretty much did was fight, I kept working at. _

_But this case, it changed something in me and it opened my eyes. _

_The problem wasn't who Gina or any other woman was, the problem was who they weren't. _

_None of them were you. _

_I realized that the only person I was going to find extraordinary with, the only person I was going to have the magic I so desperately wanted was with you because I was in love with you, not Gina, not anyone else, you. _

_It was like I had been living in the dark and someone had turned on the light. I knew right then and there that you were it for me, that you were the magic I was looking for. _

_If I couldn't have you, I didn't want anyone else. _

_I remember when that psychic was killed and you told me that there was an explanation for everything, that you didn't believe in magic. _

_I no longer believe that because Kate, what we have, the only word that can possible explain what we have is magical. I've never felt like this before and I know you haven't either. _

_What we are doing, what we are creating, that's magic. You are living right in the midst of it. _

_You are my magic, _

_Rick. _

_Clue: It's different when you're close enough to watch the lights go out. _

The smile that was on Kate's face as she read the beautiful words Castle had strung together, immediately disappeared when she read the next clue and her heart rate immediately picked up.

She couldn't forget the reason she uttered those words to her partner if she tried.

With a deep breath, she pulled back into traffic, heading towards the diner, the very diner that they had been at when Raglan was killed.

As she pulled up in front of the diner, she couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face when she recognized her dad's truck parked right in front of her.

Rick knew. He knew this note was going to be difficult for her and if he couldn't be there himself, he was going to make sure the only other person who had a semblance of an idea how hard this was, was there.

Pulling the keys out of the ignition and heading into the diner, she made her way over to her dad who was nestled into a booth in the back corner.

"Hey dad." Kate said, giving her father a hug when he stood up.

"Hey Katie. I have to say I'm slightly surprised, I would have expected you to be annoyed and tired of Rick's game by now. I never took you as someone who would enjoy a scavenger hunt that took you all over the city." Jim said.

"If it were anyone else, I would have given up before I even started, but with Castle, I love him. If he wants me to spend my day off running all over the city on a scavenger hunt, even if it's pointless, I will because I know that he would do the same for me. The idea of not doing this never even crossed my mind, I would do anything for him even if it meant flying across the country because he got carried away, which I hope he didn't, I spent enough time on a plane in the past month." Kate said as Jim chuckled.

"Do you remember what you used to say to your mother when she tried to get you to read Rick's books?" Jim asked.

"I told her that I could never like anything that she liked." Kate said with a smirk.

"And yet look at you now, in love with the very man you were so determined to hate." Jim said.

"I can just see there mom standing there with her "I told you so" face on." Kate said.

"She would have had a field day. I don't think she would have ever let you hear the end of it." Jim said.

"She would have loved him." Kate said, her eyes clouding over slightly.

"He makes you happy. That's all any parent wants, someone who makes their children happy." Jim said.

"I thought all fathers were supposed to hate the men that were taking away their little girls, threatening them with a shot gun, letting them know exactly what they will do to them if they hurt their little girls." Kate said with a smirk.

"It's really hard to hate someone who goes to the lengths Rick does to make you happy, especially when he saved your life." Jim said, both of them knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"I just hope I make him as happy as he makes me." Kate said.

"Trust me, you do. Well, that's my cue to leave. I am supposed to give you this and then leave you to it." Jim said, sliding a note towards her as he stood up from the booth, pulling Kate into a hug.

"Thanks for coming dad." Kate said.

"I couldn't stay away if I wanted to. Don't be afraid to love him with everything you have Kate. He isn't going anywhere." Jim said before turning around and disappearing out the door.

She waited until her dad pulled away before she turned back to the table, waiting for the coffee she ordered to arrive before she opened the note.

_Dear Kate, _

_I can't even begin to describe what I felt when you came to me, when you told Raglan that you trusted me. _

_There were a number of other people that you could have gone to, Montgomery, Esposito, Ryan, Lanie, your dad, Josh, but you didn't go to any of them, you came to me because I was your partner and you trusted me. I can't even begin to describe how much that meant to me. _

_You're right when you said it's different when it happens right in front of you, but oh god Kate, I thought it was you. When I saw the blood on your shirt, my entire world stopped. I couldn't breath, my heart was racing, I couldn't think about anything other than the fact that you had been shot. _

_As horrible as it sounds, I couldn't help but feel relieved when I realized that it was Raglan's blood, that he was the one who was dead, not you, even if it meant we never solved your mom's case, I just couldn't lose you. _

_I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come over to me when you did when we were in that warehouse and I was punching the lights out of Lockwood. All I could think about was the fact that he had the woman I loved in the crosshairs and I just saw red, I wanted to make sure that he never got the chance to hurt you or anyone else ever again. _

_You have told me time and time again that I have a lot of stupid ideas, ideas that usually end up getting us almost killed, and most of the time I agree. But that kiss… best spontaneous plan I ever came up with. _

_When you pulled away and looked at me, I thought you were going to kill me, I thought for sure that you were going to shoot the guard and then turn around and kiss me, but you didn't, you came right back for more and then that moan, oh god that moan. Had Ryan and Esposito not been in a life or death situation, I probably would have taken you right then and there and somehow, I think you wouldn't have objected;) _

_Of course, once everything settled down again, we never talked about it, which was hard at first, but that was alright because I heard that moan and knew one day I would make you moan like that again. _

_Plus, I was no longer the annoying writer, I was your partner. _

_Rick. _

_Clue: If you don't get there soon, I'm pretty sure you will be added to her collection of dead bodies. _

She was going to kill him because now, instead of focusing on going the rest of the letters she had to find, she was focusing on that kiss, and thinking of that kiss made her think of all that other things he could do with his talented mouth, and thinking about _those_ things was getting her all hot and bothered and she had no idea where Castle was or how long it was going to be before she saw him.

With a frustrated sigh, she downed the rest of her coffee, slapped some money on the table, and set of on her journey to see Lanie.

"Hey Lanie." Kate said as she pushed open the doors to the morgue, making Lanie jump, knocking over her coffee onto the magazine she was reading.

"Jesus girl, you scared me. You can't just come barging in here without a little warning." Lanie said.

"I figured the fact that you were part of Castle's plan and were expecting me to show up here at one point or another was enough of a warning." Kate said as she hopped up on a clean table.

"If I weren't in such a good mood, I would slap you." Lanie said as she opened her desk drawer and pulled out the note she was instructed to deliver.

"And why are you in such a good mood?" Kate asked as she reached over to take the note from Lanie.

"That's for me to know and you to find out." Lanie said, sitting back in her chair as she attempted to wipe off her magazine.

"You're not leaving?" Kate asked.

"I am just give me a second to clean up the coffee you made me spill when you scared me half to death." Lanie said, giving up and throwing the magazine in the trash before turning back to wipe off the remaining coffee.

Kate just shrugged before unfolding the note. She was pretty sure she knew what was coming next and had it been anyone else, she would have waited until Lanie left, but there have many nights she spent crying in front of Lanie.

_Dear Kate, _

_First of all, I know Lanie wasn't really part of this case, but I didn't know where to find a decontamination tent, there was no way in hell I was sending you into a freezer, and I'm pretty sure if there was a dirty bomb in the city, this scavenger hunt would quickly be put on the back burner, so I gave the note to Lanie, knowing she would kill me if I didn't include her somehow. _

_I don't think I have ever been so frustrated in my life. We were sitting there in that decontamination tent and you were telling me how you wished that you just had someone who would jump in with you, someone who would be there for you and you could be there for them and I realized this was my chance, this was my chance to tell you that I wanted to be that person, that I was right there and that I loved you, that I would never leave you and would be right there by your side for as long as you let me, but then of course, just like we always are, we were interrupted and told we could go and you were back in cop mode, ready to save the city and the moment was lost. _

_Which was fine, I could wait until after the case to tell you, but I was going to tell you. But then the next thing I know, I'm waking up in an ambulance after nearly dying in a freezer and Josh is there. Josh is there and you are wrapped up in his arms and I just wanted to scream because I heard you Kate, I knew that you were going to tell me you loved me right before you passed out, but yet you were standing there, determined to give him another chance and it pissed me off because I knew that you weren't happy with him, I knew that you would be so much happier with him and I just wanted to shake your shoulders and tell you to wake up and see what was right in front of you. Even Agent Fallon thought we were together. Everyone could see it, and what made it worse was I'm pretty sure you could see it too, yet you still went back to him. _

_Of course, we still had a city to save and the next thing I know, I'm standing in front of a dirty bomb, moments from death for the third time in two days and as frustrated as I was, as angry as I was at you for ignoring what was right in front of you, I was so relieved that it was you I was standing next to when I was going to die and I was prepared to stand there and die with you Kate because I loved you. _

_But once again, by shear dumb luck, we managed to escape death yet again. _

_When I realized that for the third time in two days, we survived something we shouldn't have made it out of, I knew that I couldn't wait any longer. It no longer mattered to me whether you were with Josh or not, I was going to tell you how I felt, I was going to put it all on the table so that I knew that my feelings for you were clear and I was so close too, but then Dr. Motorcycle Boy had to show up and I lost my nerve and the next thing I know, we're back to pretending like nothing happened, pretending like we didn't almost die wrapped up in each other's arms, pretending like you didn't almost tell me you loved me and it pissed me off but there was nothing I could do because I knew that if I brought it up then, you would run, maybe even kick me out of your life and that pissed me off even more. _

_But I kept showing up, even though I lost hope. I gave up on us Kate and I will never forgive myself for that because the next thing I know we are sitting on a couch in LA and you are staring at me with so much love in your eyes, your begging me not to give up on you, to just wait a little longer and I had already given up. _

_I'm sorry I gave up on you Kate, even though it was just for a little while, but I promise you, I will never give up on you again. _

_I promised you always and I meant it, _

_Rick. _

_Clue: No matter what, when you make a stand, I will be there to stand with you. _

Kate felt like she was going to be sick, sitting there reading the letter, the anguish Castle felt shining through.

She hated herself knowing that she pushed him away so much that he gave up on her, that he lost hope and it killed her knowing that she could do that to him, knowing that she could take away hope from someone who brought hope into her life every single day.

She didn't deserve him, she didn't deserve this sweet man that she had put through hell and back, but yet he was still there, and he was still going to extraordinary lengths for her.

She had to find him. She had so much she had to tell him and she had a feeling the only way she was going to find him was to finish what she started.

Stuffing the note in her pocket, she half walked, half jogged out of the morgue and to her car.

It wasn't until she actually got there that she realized where she actually was.

She was at the cemetery, the cemetery Castle had been shot at. Was he serious? How did he expect her to go in there alone?

She was just about to call him and ask him what the hell he was thinking when someone knocked on her window, startling her so bad she dropped her phone so that it disappeared somewhere under her seat.

When she turned to see who the disturbance was, she was surprised to find Lanie standing outside her door.

Confused, she shut off her car, reaching under the seat to find her phone, before stepping out of the car.

It wasn't just Lanie, everyone was there, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, Jenny, Maddie, Martha, and her dad.

"What are you guys doing here?" Kate asked.

"You don't really think that writer boy would expect you to do this alone, do you?" Lanie asked.

"He knew you would need all the support you could get, Becks." Maddie said.

"Who better to support you than your family?" Jenny added.

"Thanks guys." Kate said, wiping the tears away from her eyes.

"Are you ready?" Jim asked, holding out his hand for her to take.

"We're actually going in there?" Kate asked, slightly unsure.

"Don't worry Beckett, we've got your back." Esposito said.

"Just lean on us kiddo." Martha said, coming up to her other side and taking her other hand.

"Okay. Let's do this." Kate said.

Together, they walked through the cemetery towards Montgomery's grave, a family. She couldn't help but feel a tad disappointed though. She really wished that Castle was there.

As they approached Montgomery's headstone, she could see a note addressed to her propped up against it.

Looking at her father, he nodded, before letting go of her hand and moving a few yards away with the rest of the group to give her some privacy.

Taking a deep breath, she reached out with a shaky hand and took the note.

_Dear Kate, _

_I didn't know what else to do. When I came to your apartment to try and convince you to walk away, I didn't know what else to do. For some reason, everyone thought that I could convince you that your life was worth more than this case. I'd never met your dad and yet he showed up at my door, telling me how he couldn't lose his daughter to this too, telling me that as far as he was concerned, the only person that could convince you that your life was worth more than this case was me. Montgomery seemed to think so too. I saw you spiraling, I saw you diving back into the rabbit hole and you know what he said to me when I asked if he couldn't make you back off, he said the way he saw it, I was the only person who could make you stand down. I didn't have a choice, I had to convince you to step away for them, even though I knew it was hopeless, even though I knew you were already to far gone and because I couldn't say no, you kicked me out of your apartment, telling me we were over. I had no idea what to do. You weren't answering my phone calls, I felt like a failure for not being able to convince you to step away, and then Montgomery called me, telling me that he needed me to meet him at the hanger and he was making me promise that no matter what happened, no matter how much you fought me, no matter how much you begged, to get you out of there when he told me to. It was an impossible situation. _

_Carrying you out of that hanger, knowing that Montgomery wasn't coming out of their alive, was one of the most difficult situations I had ever been in, but I don't regret it and I hope you understand why. My only concern was getting you out of there alive and it broke my heart knowing how much it was hurting you, knowing that it was destroying you as I carried you out of there, but I had to do it Kate. I didn't care if you never wanted to speak to me again or hated me for the rest of our lives, I would have carried you out of there every single time. _

_I know we will never agree on this, I know that you think I'm an idiot for jumping in front of that bullet instead of letting you get shot, that I should have thought about Alexis and my mother and what would have happened if I hadn't made it, but the thing is, I didn't have a choice, just like I wouldn't have had a choice if it was Alexis in the crosshairs or if it was my mother because that's what happens when you love someone. The only thing that goes through your mind is protecting the person you love from getting hurt. When I saw the reflection of the scope, it was just instinct, a knee jerk reaction to get to you before that bullet even if I had to put myself its path. It wouldn't matter if that moment was repeated 100 times, every single time I would do the exact same thing. If that bullet had taken you away from me, Alexis and Martha wouldn't have mattered because I wouldn't have survived. I might still be there physically, but I might as well have died because I can't live without you. I couldn't then and I couldn't now. _

_You aren't just a part of my life or a part of my family, you are a part of me. _

_Without you, there is no me. If you cry, I cry. If you laugh, I laugh. If you hurt, I hurt. If you die, I die. We are one. There is no you and me, there is only us. _

_The last time we were here, this place was tarnished the second the sniper pulled the trigger. What should have been a day to remember the man who was like a father to you, quickly became a day filled with nothing but bad memories, sadness, and fear. _

_I made a promise to you, a promise to your father, a promise to your mother, and a promise myself that I would do everything that I can to make you happy, to fill your life with nothing but happy memories and do everything I could to take the bad memories away. _

_So that's what I'm going to do. I don't want you to be afraid to come here and remember the memory of Captain Montgomery, I don't want you to have to remember the fact that this is where our lives were turned upside down, I want this place to be a happy place for you, somewhere with good memories where you can remember the good things, a place that brings a smile to your face. _

_I know that it has been a long day and I know that you have to be tired by now, running all over the city, bad memories and good memories being brought up, but I promise you it's almost over. _

_I just need you to do one more thing for me and I promise this will all be worth it, I promise all the tears and sadness, the hurt and pain, the laughter and good times, everything will be worth it if you do one thing… _

_Just turn around. _

When Kate turned around, tears streaming down her face, hands shaking so badly she was afraid she was going to rip the paper she was holding in her hands, she didn't see her family standing a few yards away, tears of their very own in their eyes, cameras in hand, she didn't see the sight of Evelyn Montgomery and her children crying in the front row, and she didn't see the sight of Castle lying on the ground, his blood covering her hands.

She didn't see any of that, the only thing she saw was Richard Castle, the man she was so madly in love with, down on one knee, ring in hand, his eyes slightly glazed over like he was trying to hold back his own tears.

"You have made me the luckiest man in the world. From the moment you walked into my book party four years ago, you have turned my life upside down and turned me into the man I am today. We definitely haven't had an easy path, whether it be exploding apartments and serial killers, robbery detectives, doctors, and crazy ex-wives, dirty bombs and freezers, snipers, or your mother's case, we never gave up and no matter how difficult things got, we always found our way back to each other, side by side, as partners. I don't know what I did to deserve you but whatever it was, I thank my lucky stars because I love you so damn much and I want you to know that I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy, that no matter how angry we get at each other or how crazy we make each other, I want you to know that at the end of the day you are the one I want to go to bed with. I want to continue this wonderful journey we started together, I want to grow old and grey with you, I want always with you Kate, but what I need to know is will you make me the happiest man alive and become my wife so we can have that always?"

Did he really even have to ask?

"Yes. God yes, I'll marry you." Kate managed to choke out, before she was being lifted off her feet and spun around in a circle, her laughter filling the air around them as a huge smile took over her face, a matching one on Castle's face as he set her down, fishing the ring out of the velvet box.

"I love you so much, Kate." Castle said as he slipped the ring on her finger.

"I love you too." Kate said before she captured his lips, completely forgetting that they had an audience.

"Oh for god sakes, you have plenty of time for that later, let me see the ring!" Lanie shrieked and Kate couldn't help but laugh as she placed one more brief kiss on Castle's lips before she her hand was being yanked in the direction of Lanie, Maddie, Martha, and Jenny while Esposito, Ryan, and her father congratulated Rick.

She was going to marry Richard Castle.

_**Author's Note: I hope that this did what you all envisioned justice because I worked so hard on this chapter, I've never put so much work into a chapter before so I really hope you enjoy it. **_

_**Even if you have yet to leave a review, please leave one for this chapter. Share you thoughts with me whether good or bad, this is an important chapter for me and I want to know what you think:) **_

_**Enjoy!**_


	101. Chapter 101

Chapter 101:

It was a little after midnight when Castle and Beckett finally stumbled into the loft, slightly tipsy from the celebratory drinks they all went out for at the Old Haunt after the proposal.

The entire ride home, the only thing Kate could think of was crawling into bed, the exhaustion of the day crashing down on her. That was until Castle went to help her take off her coat and ended up nipping and sucking on her neck, his large hands splayed across her stomach as his pinkies lightly stroked the skin right under the waistline of her jeans, his obvious arousal pressing into her backside.

Suddenly, she wasn't so tired.

Pressing her ass more firmly into his arousal, she craned her neck, placing hot kisses along his jaw line, which obviously wasn't enough for Castle because he turned her all the way around, wrapping his arms around her, his lips finding hers as he clumsily walked them backwards towards the couch until the back of Kate's legs hit the edge and she fell onto her back, pulling Castle with her so he was hovering above her.

The mood in the room instantly changed from hot and furious to passionate and gentle as Castle brought one of his hands up to lightly brush a strand of hair out of her face, looking at her with such love and admiration.

"You're going to be my wife." Castle said, his eyes shining slightly with tears as he looked down at her like he honestly thought he would never get to say those words, like any day now she would discover that he wasn't what she wanted and would end up leaving him.

"You're going to be my husband." Kate said, reaching up to cup his jaw, staring back at him with all her emotions on display for him to see before leaning up to capture his lips.

The second their lips connected it was like a dam had been broken and neither of the could get enough of each other.

Their moans filled the room as Kate wrapped her legs around Castle's waist, pulling his arousal into direct contact with her core, giving her the pressure and friction she so desperately wanted as her hips bucked involuntarily, seeking more.

Knowing that neither one of them were going to last long, Castle quickly went to work on Kate's shirt, unbuttoning the buttons at a lightening fast pace before pulling Kate up off the couch so he could pull it off of her, unhooking her bra in the process and adding it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor.

After getting his own shirt off, he bent down, taking one of her taut nipples into his mouth, sucking and nipping on it until Kate's moans once again filled the room before moving over to her other breast, paying it equal attention.

When he was satisfied with his work, he leaned forward, capturing Kate's lips in a passionate kiss before he began to leave a trail of kisses down her body, her back arching to meet each press of his lips.

Adjusting himself between her legs, Castle was just about to unbutton Kate's jeans to pull them off when the unmistakable voice of his daughter filled the room.

"Oh my god dad!" Alexis squealed.

Both Castle and Kate froze, both their heads turning automatically towards the sign of the voice, realizing that it was coming from the TV where Alexis was sitting, pale as a ghost, hands covering her eyes.

When Castle and Beckett looked back at each other, they couldn't help it, whether it was from the alcohol coursing through their veins, the pure joy the day had brought to them, or the look on Alexis's face, the room was suddenly filled with their laughter.

"Oh my god! It's not funny and put some clothes on please!" Alexis called, only managing to send Castle and Kate into another fit of laughter as they both reached over the side of the couch to grab their discarded clothing, pulling it on, both of them gasping for breath.

"Okay pumpkin, we're dressed." Castle said, wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks from laughing so hard as he pulled Kate into his side, who immediately snuggled into him.

"I hope you know that you will be paying for the many years of therapy I need to get rid of that image." Alexis said.

"Be thankful that's all you saw… five minutes later and this would have been so much more embarrassing." Castle said, earning a smack on the chest from Kate before they broke into a fit of giggles again.

"Are you two drunk?" Alexis asked, a look of astonishment on her face at the child like antics of the two adults before her. Sure, she was used to her dad acting like that, but Kate? Not so much.

"No, just a little tipsy from celebratory drinks at the Old Haunt." Kate said, smiling up at Castle before placing a brief kiss on his lips.

"Celebrating?" Alexis asked, the tone in her voice suggesting that she realized this wasn't your ordinary run of the mill post case celebration.

"I asked Kate to marry me and she said yes." Castle said, a huge grin forming on his face as Alexis quite literally squealed.

"It's about time! Dad's had that ring for like three months. I was pretty sure that I would get married before he got up the nerve to ask you." Alexis exclaimed.

"Alexis!" Castle exclaimed.

"Oh relax dad, she already said yes. How did he ask you Kate? It wasn't childish was it? I told him that you wouldn't like a childish proposal." Alexis said.

"No, it wasn't childish. He wrote me all these little notes that took me all over the city on a scavenger hunt that recounted our journey together, places like the site for his book launch party I crashed, the precinct, my old apartment, stuff like that. He even got my dad, Martha, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, Jenny, and Maddie in on it. It was perfect." Kate said, smiling up at Castle.

"Good job dad. I'm happy for you guys." Alexis said.

"Thanks pumpkin." Castle said.

"Well, I've got to go. I've got a test in the morning, but I'm so happy for you guys, I seriously thought this would never happen with how slow you two move." Alexis said with a chuckle.

"Goodnight pumpkin." Castle said, giving her a glare that let her know she would get her back for that comment.

"Night Alexis." Kate said.

"Night guys." Alexis said before signing out, the screen once again going black.

Kate almost immediately threw one of her legs over Castle's straddling him as her arms came to wrap around his neck, his hands automatically coming to rest on her hips.

"You had the ring for three months." Kate said, reiterating what Alexis had let slip.

"I did. I wasn't planning on buying one then, but when I saw it, I just knew that it was perfect for you, so I got it before someone else did." Castle said, unsure of where this was going.

"If you had the ring three months ago, why did you wait until now to ask me?" Kate asked, a slightly confused expression on her face.

"Honestly? I thought you would say no. I still find myself wondering if this is all a dream, if I'm going to wake up one morning and realize that none of this really happened, that we are still at that point where we are dancing around our feelings for each other." Castle said.

"Is it really that hard to believe that I want this?" Kate asked.

"Yes." Castle said.

Castle watched as hurt took over Kate's face and before he knew what was happening, she was up off his lap and already half way to the bedroom.

Slightly confused, he replayed what she just asked him and what he said and he could have slapped himself when he realized what it sounded like.

Pushing himself off the couch, he quickly made his way into the bedroom where he saw Kate sitting on the edge of the bed, her ring no longer on her finger and he could have sworn his heart dropped.

Silently walking over towards her, he crouched down in front of her, taking the ring out of her hand and slipping it back onto her finger before reaching up to swipe the tears off her face.

"I don't know what else I can do to make you believe that I am in this, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Kate said through a broken sob.

"Kate, you don't have to do anything, I know that you're in this. You told me a long time ago that you were a one and done type of girl. I know that you wouldn't have said yes if you weren't in this." Castle said.

"But you just said…" Kate said, slightly confused.

"I know. I know it sounded like that was what I was talking about, but it wasn't." Castle said.

"Then what were you talking about?" Kate asked.

"Its hard to believe that you want this as in you want this with me, not this kind of relationship. You're this beautiful, sexy, intelligent, kind hearted, kick ass homicide detective who makes a difference in this world every day, you are to put it simply, extraordinary. It's hard to believe that someone who is an incredible as you would want to be with someone like me, someone who is the father of college student, who has been divorced twice, and sits around in his pajamas everyday, writing. I guess it's just hard to believe sometimes that you would choose me when you deserve so much better." Castle said, looking away from a slightly shocked Kate.

"Castle look at me. I spent a long time avoiding this, avoiding us, because I thought that I would just bring you down. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that you would want someone like me and I convinced myself that if I gave in, if I took that step with you, then you would realize that you deserved better than me. But I realized that just because we may deserve better, doesn't mean that it is better. I love you and yes you have your flaws just like I have mine, but that doesn't make a difference because I love you anyway. Just like my baggage makes me who I am, makes me the woman that you fell in love with, your baggage makes you the man you are, the man that I fell in love with and I don't want anyone else but you, even if I deserve better." Kate said, stroking his cheek lightly.

"Always?" Castle asked, even though he knew the answer.

"Always." Kate said leaning forward to capture his lips.

"You're extraordinary." Castle said as they broke apart.

"Why don't I show you just how extraordinary I am and we finish what we started before we were interrupted?" Kate said as she began to unbutton his shirt, a sly grin on her face.

"I thought you'd never ask." Castle said with a huge grin as he basically picked her up and threw her to the middle of the bed before pouncing on her.

Oh, she was definitely extraordinary.

_**Author's Note: I would just like to apologize for the delay in getting this chapter up. My work schedule picked up quite a bit this past week and I haven't had any time to get any writing done, but don't worry I am not going to abandon this story, that is a huge pet peeve of mine, it might just take a bit longer to post chapters, but if you want, feel free to PM and I will be happy to let you know when I am going to get the next chapter up. **_

_**Hope you enjoyed and have a happy fourth of july**___


	102. Chapter 102

Chapter 102:

It was a little after twelve when Castle stepped off the elevator and into the bullpen, his eyes immediately finding Beckett's desk… Beckett's empty desk.

Quickly scanning the rest of the bullpen, the break room, and Gates' office only to come up empty, he made his way over to Esposito and Ryan who were seated at their desks, bent over a pile of paperwork.

"Hey Castle." Ryan said, glancing up at the approaching writer.

"Hey Ryan, Esposito. You guys know where Beckett is?" Castle asked.

"She's in the gym." Espo said.

That's not good. The only time Kate went to the gym in the middle of the day was when a case got to her or Castle pissed her off and seeing as how they were still basking in their post-engagement bliss, it meant that the culprit was a case.

"What happened?" Castle asked, figuring it was better to be prepared before he went down.

"Remember that case we picked up last week with the teen that was killed?" Ryan asked

"No, I wasn't here last week, planning a proposal, remember?" Castle asked.

"Oh yeah, well anyway, we picked up a case with a fourteen year old girl found dead in an alley, throat slashed, bruises all over the body, definite signs of sexual assault. We've been working on it for about a week and a half with no new leads so Gates made us shut it down. Beckett was not pleased." Ryan said.

"To make matters worse, the girl's mother came in when Beckett was taking down the murder board for the case and assumed that we caught the killer. Beckett calmly explained that we didn't find her killer which only made the mother question why Beckett was taking down the board and when Beckett remained silent, not wanting to tell this grieving woman that the case was being marked as an unsolved, the mother became more irate until Gates came out and intervened, taking her into her office. We don't know what Gates said, but we're assuming that Gates told her that we would no longer be working her daughter's case as an open case because they next thing we know, the office door is being thrown open and the mother was storming out screaming about how her daughter's killer would be caught if cops weren't running around the city with famous mystery writers. As soon as the elevator shut, Beckett mumbled about going to the gym and has been there ever since." Espo said.

"Oh god. What did Gates say?" Castle asked.

"Nothing. She just shut her door and went back to work. I think she knows that Beckett not being able to close this case had nothing to do with her relationship with you, but the fact that there really were no leads." Ryan said.

"Okay, well then I'm going to go talk to Gates then go find Beckett." Castle said, hoping Kate wasn't mad at him since he was the one who insisted on revealing their relationship to the press.

"Why are you going to talk to Gates, bro?" Esposito asked, both he and Ryan confused.

"Just to make sure that she really is letting this go. If there is a chance that she agrees with this woman, I'm not going to go tell Kate that everything is going to be alright only to turn around and have Gates throw me out." Castle said.

"Good luck." Ryan and Esposito said, giving him an encouraging smile before turning back to their paperwork.

Taking a deep breath, Castle made his way over to Gates' office, knocking firmly on the door before entering when Gates signaled him to.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Castle?" Gates asked without looking up from her paperwork.

"I came to talk to you about this morning with the mother of the teen saying that Ka- Beckett was unable to solve the case because of her relationship with me." Castle said nervously.

"What about it Mr. Castle?" Gates asked, finally looking up at the writer.

"I was just hoping that if you agree with her and think that I am the cause and are planning on kicking me out that you let me tell Kate, I think she will take it better coming from me, especially since it would be my fault since she didn't want to reveal our relationship out of fear that it would affect her work, but I pretty much gave her no choice." Castle said.

"Do you think I should agree with what the woman said?" Gates asked, studying him over her glasses.

"Not at all. We revealed our relationship to the press well over four months ago and there would be no reason for it to start affecting her work now." Castle said.

"Mr. Castle, have a seat." Gates said, motioning to the chair in front of her desk.

Gulping nervously, Castle took a seat, wishing he just went down to find Kate, especially with the look Gates was giving him.

"Mr. Castle, I know that haven't always been your biggest fan. When I was first informed of your arrangement with Detective Beckett, I was more than skeptical, outraged even, especially when I learned that not only were you allowed to observe, but you were essentially performing all the duties of a cop without actually being a cop. I was determined that the first thing I would do as Captain of the twelfth was immediately end this partnership. However, when I arrived, I learned that you were recovering from being shot after jumping in front of a bullet for Detective Beckett. In my book, anyone willing to take a bullet for someone else deserves a shot. So I decided I would do just that, give you a chance and see if you really were valuable to the team. But as you know, Detective Beckett came to me and basically demanded to have you kicked out and so that's what I did. If she no longer wanted you following her, you were no longer following her. But imagine my surprise when a little over a month later, you were back in my office, dangling the mayor card in my face and I had no choice but to let you return, the only hope left was that you would screw up and I could kick you out. But you didn't, you kept coming back day after day and astonishingly, you were everything Montgomery said you were. What wouldn't work for pretty much every other team on any police force, worked for yours. You work well together and you add something unique to the team." Gates said.

"So you're not kicking me out?" Castle asked, just wanting to be sure.

"No Mr. Castle. While you may have your moments and distract the team or get them into trouble, and even though you aren't a cop, I have learned that when you aren't around, even if it is for a few hours, Detective Beckett is not herself and when she isn't herself, she isn't doing her best work all because she is distracted by the fact that you aren't here. Likewise, when Detective Beckett is struggling, Detective Esposito and Detective Ryan notice and then they start struggling. As much as it pains me to say this, without you around, the team does not gel as well as it usually does, which I frankly don't understand. So no, I am not kicking you out as long as you continue to be an asset and not a distraction." Gates said.

"Thank you sir." Castle said, unable to withhold the big, goofy smile on his face.

"You're welcome Mr. Castle. Now I do believe you have some business to attend to in the gym." Gates said, knowing he was the only one who could talk Beckett out of this.

"Yes sir." Castle said, rising from his seat.

"Mr. Castle?" Gates called right before he pulled the door open.

"Yes sir?" Castle asked, turning back to the Captain.

"If anyone asked me, I would deny it, but you are a part of that team out there. I didn't get it for a long time, but I know that just like you've got every one of their backs, they've got yours and that's what makes it work, they don't see you as a writer following around their team, they see you as a member of their team. So while I may not act like it, I do consider you one of us even if you aren't technically a cop. You have proven yourself on more than one occasion by doing things that most cops would never even think of doing, even for their partner. Now get out, I've got work to do." Gates said, immediately returning to her paperwork.

Without another word, Castle made his way out of the Captain's office only to be almost immediately ambushed by Esposito and Ryan.

"Well, what did she say?" Ryan asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Castle said with a smirk.

"Is she letting you stay?" Esposito asked.

"Yes, she is definitely letting me stay." Castle said, his grin growing even wider.

"Bro, what aren't you telling us?" Esposito asked.

"Let's just say she is finally realizing what Montgomery said." Castle said.

"Which was?" Ryan asked.

"She told me that while I am sometimes a distraction while I am here, when I'm not here, Kate is distracted and then doesn't do her best work and you two notice that she is distracted and start worrying about her so then you aren't doing your best work. So in other words, kicking me out would only serve to cause more problems than me being here. She also said that she would deny it if anyone asked, but that she considers me one of you even though I'm technically not." Castle said.

"Great, we'll never here the end of this." Esposito said, stalking off.

"Going to go straight to his head." Ryan added as he followed.

Castle just shook his head. While it might seem like Esposito and Ryan were displeased with the news, Castle knew better. He knew that they wanted Gates to see him as part of the team just as much as he did, just as much as Beckett did.

With a smile on his face, he made his way to the elevator.

It was time to find his fiancé.

_**Author's Note: So I know this chapter is kind of a filler, it wasn't meant to be this long, but it kind of just took off and if I added it to the next part it would really be too long so I decided to split it up. **_

_**Please review and I hope you enjoy**_


	103. Chapter 103

Chapter 103:

He should have seen it coming.

Castle had learned pretty quickly after he first started consulting at the precinct that when Kate Beckett walked into the gym, those who knew her got the hell out of there and those who didn't and stayed, never made that mistake again once they figured out that sparring against a pissed off Kate Beckett was not an experience you wanted to live through twice.

He should have realized that she was still pissed off when he stepped off the elevator and could cleanly hear every punch that connected with the punching bag, but instead all he could focus on was how her grunts were very similar to the noises she was making last night.

He should have noticed that she had ear buds in, music turned up loud when she didn't turn around at the sound of the gym door slamming shut, but instead all he could focus on was how great her ass looked in the pair of very well fitting yoga pants.

He should have remembered that Kate was not a fan of surprises and approached cautiously, but he didn't, all he could focus on was having his arms wrapped tightly around his fiancé's waist, so that's what he did.

He should have seen it coming, but he didn't and that's how he ended up flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling, blinking furiously as his eyes began to water with the pain shooting through his nose, the blood dripping down his cheeks after Kate, still pumped with adrenaline and surprised with the arms suddenly around her waist, went into cop mode, quickly spinning out of his grasp before promptly punching him in the face.

"Oh my god, Castle? Are you okay?" Kate asked, eyes wide with panic and surprise as she knelt down next to him, leaning over to give him the perfect view down her shirt.

"I'm better now." Castle said, momentarily forgetting the pain in his face as he grinned like an idiot before immediately wincing as a fresh wave of pain shot through his nose.

"Seriously Castle?" Kate said, giving him "the look" once she realized what he was doing.

"What?" Castle asked sheepishly.

"You're lying on the ground after I just punched you, bleeding, and you're looking down my shirt." Kate said.

"I can't help it, especially when they're in my face." Castle said.

Kate just rolled her eyes as she leaned over to grab her towel.

"Here, use this to stop the bleeding as much as possible and try to sit up slowly so we can get you up to go see Lanie." Kate said, handing him the towel.

"Why do we have to go see Lanie?" Castle asked, wincing as he brought the towel to his face before slowly sitting up so he was propped up on one hand.

"So she can make sure your nose isn't broken and if it is, tell us what to do about it." Kate said.

"You're not going to tell her what happened right?" Castle asked.

"Why wouldn't I? She's going to need to know what happened so she can properly assess the damage." Kate said, standing up to gather her things.

"But Kaaateee… It's so embarrassing and unmanly. Everyone's going to make fun of me when they find out my fiancé punched me. Can't we say we were at a take down and I got punched while bravely helping to subdue a criminal?" Castle asked, more like whined.

"Castle, first of all, everyone knows we weren't at a crime scene today so you're out of luck on the big bad guy story and second, everyone already knows I can beat you up, not really a surprise there. Besides, if anyone picks on you, I'll protect you." Kate said with a big, teasing grin.

"Argh! Why couldn't I have fallen in love with a ballerina, someone who won't bring my manliness into question?" Castle grumbled.

"The heart wants what the heart wants, besides, I know just how much man you are." Kate said with a seductive grin. "Now let's go before you lose too much blood and then I have to call an ambulance for you because that's probably won't help your case."

Grumbling something unintelligible, Castle took Kate's proffered hand with his free one, managing to stand up before almost immediately falling back over when the room started spinning.

Luckily, Kate was able to steady him before he fell back over and did more damage.

"You okay?" Kate asked, once he seemed to regain his balance.

"Yeah, just a bit dizzy and my head hurts." Castle said, blinking a few time to clear his vision, a slight frown on his face.

"You probably hit your head when you fell, we'll have Lanie check for a concussion." Kate said, making sure he was steady on his feet before leading him out of the gym towards the elevator.

Ten minutes later, Kate finally made her way through the morgue doors with a slightly Castle. at least his nose had stopped bleeding.

"Lanie?" Kate called out, assuming the ME was in one of the back rooms.

"Hey girl, give me a few minutes and I'll be right out." Lanie called back.

"C'mon, let's get you on a table." Kate said, helping him to the table nearest to Lanie's desk before going over to the sink to get some wet paper towels. Hopefully she could at least get the dry blood of his face.

When she turned around however, Castle had moved to one end of the table and rotated forty-five degrees, eyeing the space behind him like he was going to lie down.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked, coming over to stand by him.

"Lying down to make it look like I'm dead. I know how to breath without it looking like I'm actually breathing and the fact that I'm covered in blood will only make it look more authentic." Castle said.

"Rick no." Kate said firmly, but of course he ignored her. Apparently not even a possible broken nose and concussion could stop his nine year old side from coming out.

"Aw come on. Can you imagine the look on Lanie's face when she walks in here and thinks I'm dead? It'll be priceless." Castle said with renewed enthusiasm.

"Castle." Kate snapped through gritted teeth.

When Castle instantly fell silent, hurt crossing his features as he went back to his originally position in the middle of the table, Kate's heart clenched as she mentally kicked herself for hurting him again when he had no idea why his antics upset her, especially when he was just being his usual self.

Taking a deep breath, she took a step forward so she was standing in between his legs. Bringing her hand up under his chin, she lifted his head so he was looking at her before she gently began to clean the blood off his face.

"I'm sorry I snapped. You didn't do anything wrong. I just… I've seen you lying here on one of these tables, dead and covered in blood more than enough times in my nightmares and while I know you aren't really dead… I just can't hand seeing that for real, especially when you came so close to actually lying here dead on a table." Kate said her eyes shining as she tried to hold back the tears that wanted to stream down her face.

Castle was just about to answer when Lanie came bustling into the room.

"Hey girl, what do you – oh my god, what happened?" Lanie asked, noticing the bruising already forming on Castle's face and the blood still on his face and clothes.

"We were attacked by ninja assassins and I bravely stepped up to protect my lovely fiancé, escaping with only a minor punch to the face." Castle said, succeeding in making Kate smile.

"What really happened?" Lanie asked, rolling her eyes.

"I resent that." Castle said.

"He snuck up on me when I was in the gym, so of course, my cop instincts kicked in and I punched him in the face. We came to you to check for a broken nose and possible concussion." Kate said, stepping to the side, refusing to let go of his hand after the conversation they had right before Lanie walked in.

"Writer boy, you've been here for over four years and I know you know our girl here better than anyone, you know better than to sneak up on her, especially when she is in beat mode in the gym." Lanie said as she went over to the drawer to get a pair of latex gloves.

"It's not my fault! I was distracted. I mean look at what she's wearing. How do you not get distracted by her in clothes that hug her in all the right places?" Castle asked, looking her yp and down with a smirk on his face while Kate rolled her eyes.

"Is he always like this?" Lanie asked.

"Oh yeah. He was looking down my shirt earlier when he was lying on the gym floor, blood streaming down his face." Kate said.

"It was a really nice view." Castle said wistfully, earning him a slap on the arm from both Lanie and Kate.

"Ow! Don't you think I've been hit enough today?" Castle whined.

"Any signs of a concussion?" Lanie asked.

"He was dizzy when he stood up and complained about his head hurting." Kate said as Lanie began to examine Castle's nose.

When she hit a particularly sore spot, Kate unconsciously brought her hand up to run her fingers soothingly through the short hairs at the nape of his neck, knowing that it comforted him, only to be met with a look from Lanie.

"What?" Kate asked, narrowing her eyes at the ME.

"Nothing. I just never thought I'd see the day where tough as nails Beckett would stand in my morgue holding her boyfriend's hand and comforting him, especially you two with all the skating around each other you did for the first three years." Lanie said.

"It's fiancé now." Kate said automatically.

"What?" Lanie asked, not following Beckett's train of thought.

"You said holding my boyfriend's hand, he isn't my boyfriend, he isn't my fiancé." Kate said, watching Lanie break out into a smile while Castle stared at her in amazement.

"I never thought you would be the first one to correct someone." Castle said, squeezing her hand slightly.

"Yeah, well I said yes didn't I? I want to marry you and I want people to know. I'm not saying go announce it to page 6, but I don't want to hide it. You're my fiancé and I want people to recognize that." Kate said with a shrug.

"I love you." Castle said.

"I love you too." Kate said "Now back to why we are here, is he going to be alright?"

"Yeah, his nose isn't broken, but it's going to hurt for awhile and your going to get a pretty nasty bruise. You have a minor concussion, so take it easy for a few days, no chasing down ninja assassins or running into your girl's hand. Make sure that he is woken up every couple hours tonight and if he shows any worsening signs of his concussion, take him to the hospital immediately. I suggest talking to your doctor about some pain meds and using ice to keep the swelling down." Lanie said, taking off her gloves and throwing them away.

"I can call mother to come pick me up if you want." Castle said.

"Why?" Kate asked. Did he not want her around because she was the reason he was like this?

"Well, I'm not a doctor or anything, but I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to drive or be alone in a cab and you have to get back to work, don't you?" Castle asked hesitantly.

"I should, but I'm not going to." Kate said.

"Huh?" Castle asked.

"I'm going to take you home. First of all, I'm the one that punched you and second of all, if it were me, you would drop everything to take care of me even if I didn't want you to so I'm going to do the same for you because that's what you do for the people you love. You will always come before my job. If Gates has a problem with that then I'll just take a personal day." Kate said, giving him a soft smile.

"It's a freaking miracle!" Lanie said, making them both laugh.

"Come on writer boy, let's get you home." Kate said.

_**Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long to update. I had to work all week and then when I got home I was exhausted and drawn in to all the craziness of the Castle fandom that happened this week. I don't work next week though so I should be able to update more frequently. **_

_**Enjoy and please review. **_


	104. Chapter 104

Chapter 104:

Well over an hour and a half later, castle and Beckett were both changed into something comfortable and relaxing on the couch watching a movie, castle's head lying in Kate's lap, her fingers gently running through his hair while they waited for the pain meds to kick in.

Gates had quickly put her foot down when Kate told her that she needed to take the rest of the afternoon off. Even after Kate had explained what happened, Gates still refused to allow her to leave, stating that Mr. Castle was a grown man and more than capable of watching himself for a few hours despite his injuries. When Kate once again explained that Castle had a concussion and couldn't be left alone, Gates simply said that other arrangements should be made because she wasn't going to allow her lead detective to just leave when there was work to do. By then, Kate was fed up, growing angrier by the minute, especially when she glanced out the office window to see Castle sitting in her chair, face slightly pale, clearly in pain. Without a second thought, Kate informed Gates that she would be taking the rest of the week off, using her personal days, refusing to falter in her decision when Gates leveled her with a glare, before nodding, knowing there was nothing she could do about it.

In hindsight, she probably was a bit over zealous when she said she was taking the rest of the week off, but she wasn't about to disappoint Castle, especially when she gave him that whole "You would do this for me so I'm going to do it for you and you always come first" speech.

Anyway, after saying goodbye to the boys and explaining what was going on, making sure they knew that they would be doing paperwork for a month if they made fun of Castle anymore, she grabbed her coat, slipped on her engagement ring, and took Castle's hand, leading him to the elevator, not caring if Gates saw. She was going to comfort her fiancé whether her captain liked it or not.

As they left the precinct, Kate quickly learned that when Castle was injured and hurting, he acted even more like a child than usual.

The minute they got in the car, he started complaining about Esposito and Ryan laughing at him because he got punched in the face. He just went on and on until Kate had enough and told him to call his doctor about getting a prescription, hoping it would distract him long enough to calm him down and keep him quiet. Unfortunately, after he informed her that the prescription would be ready for pick up at the pharmacy, he started bugging her to stop for ice cream, stating that they were out of his favorite kind and they had a rule in Casa Castle that when you were sick or injured, you got your favorite ice cream, no questions asked.

As much as she wanted to though, she just couldn't bring herself to be mad at him when she did this to him, especially when she learned from the boys that he was coming to check on her after attempting to take full responsibility with Gates.

Thankfully, by the time they got home, the events of the day had finally caught up to him and she had to drag him into the bedroom, help him change, change herself, and then drag him back into the living room, give him his pain meds, and pop in a movie before finally pulling him down onto the couch, his head immediately using her lap as a pillow.

When Castle didn't say anything after he settled in, Kate thought that he might have fallen asleep, but about half way through the movie, he shifted slightly, now facing her, looking at her with tired, hazy eyes, most likely a mix of the day he had and the pain pills running through his system.

"Hey Kate?" Castle asked, taking long slow blinks as he fought to keep his eyes open.

"Hmm?" Kate asked, smiling softly when he protested when she stopped running her fingers through his hair, a smile appearing on his face when she resumed.

"Can I ask you a question?" Castle asked.

"Always." Kate said.

"Do you still have nightmares?" Castle asked, slightly hesitant.

"What?" Kate asked, caught off guard by the question.

"When we were in the morgue, you said you didn't want me to lay down because you saw me… like that in your nightmares more than enough and I was just wondering if you still had them because I don't want you to. I want to help you feel better. The nightmares hurt you and when you're hurting so am I. I just want to take away your pain." Castle said, a few tears rolling down his cheek, her heart hurting, knowing how much it affects him knowing that she isn't alright.

"Hey, shhh. I'm not having nightmares. I haven't had any in awhile. Want to know why?" Kate asked, brushing away the stray tears on his face.

"Mhm." Castle said, catching her hand and intertwining their fingers, holding it to his chest.

"Because when I'm with you, wrapped up in your arms, I feel safe and I know that nothing is going to hurt me, you keep the nightmares away." Kate said, unable to suppress the grin when she saw him light up even in his drug induced haze.

"I'll always be there, I'll always keep you safe." Castle said, kissing each of her knuckles.

"I know Castle." Kate said, cupping his cheek, running her thumb across the unaffected area, both of them just lying there staring at each other for a little bit, nothing but the sound of the movie filling the space around them.

"I can't wait until you're pregnant." Castle said, a tender look taking over his face as he brought one hand to her stomach lightly caressing it.

"That was random." Kate said with a chuckle.

"I know. I just can't stop thinking about it. Ever since you said that you wanted to start trying for a baby, I've been having dreams where you are either pregnant and all adorable, waddling around the loft, glowing, or carrying this cute little baby that looks just like you. It's amazing. I'm excited." Castle said, his eyes once again lighting up.

"Why do I have the feeling you're going to be one of those dads who insist on talking to the baby and document every step of the pregnancy?" Kate asked with a chuckle.

"Because you know me so well." Castle said, nothing but love shining in his eyes.

"Were you this… enthusiastic with Meredith?" Kate asked, suddenly wishing that she didn't ask that question when all the enthusiasm drained out of Castle's face, instead replaced with a gloomy shadow of despair.

"Uh no. When Meredith found out she was pregnant, she didn't want me anywhere near her. She didn't even have the decency to tell me herself. Her agent called me to tell me that she would be spending a few days at a spa because she found out that she was pregnant and needed to be alone. It only got worse from there. I had to sleep in the guest room because she didn't want me to see her when she was all fat and ugly. She would never let me go to a doctor's appointment with her so I never got to hear my daughter's heartbeat and had to snoop through Meredith's purse when she was asleep just to see the ultra sound picture. I never got to feel my daughter kick or talk to her before she was born. I came home one day to find a design team working on the nursery, something I was not aware of, and had to find out from the contractor that I was having a girl. She didn't even let me in the delivery room until after she gave birth and got cleaned up. The first time I actually felt like a father was the first time I held Alexis." Castle said, his voice raspy with emotion and the painful memory.

Kate just sat there, her jaw clenched, her hatred for Meredith growing by the second for the pain she not only caused Alexis, but also the man she loved. She hated to see him so broken like this and she was going to fix it if it was the last thing she did.

"Castle, I promise you right here and now, that when I think I'm pregnant, I'm going to come you first and we are going to get a test together, wait together, and find out together. I want you right there next to me at every single doctors appointment, I want to see your face light up the first time we see our child, and hear our baby's heartbeat. If we decide that we want to find out the sex, we are going to do it together. Even though I think it's ridiculous, I want you to talk to the baby because it makes you happy and all I want to do is make you happy. I can't wait until I start to show and we stand there, your arms around me, your hands splayed protectively over my stomach, until we stay up until all hours of the night going over every baby book we can find, thinking of names and I can guarantee you that we are not hiring anyone to decorate the nursery. We are going to do it together as a family. We are going to do everything together because I want you there just as much as you want me there." Kate said, relief washing over her as she watched the tension drain of Castle only to be replaced by excitement and love once again.

"You are literally the perfect woman and I have no idea what I did to deserve you." Castle said.

"You kept showing up. Even when I told you to go away, even when you had every right not to come back, you did and you broke down that wall one brick at a time." Kate said, leaning forward to give him a kiss, laughing when Castle's stomach rumbled quite loudly.

"Sorry, I didn't get a chance to eat anything today." Castle said.

"Well then let's get you something to eat. Chinese?" Kate asked.

"Sounds good. Do you know what I want?" Castle asked, unable to remember a time when Kate ordered dinner.

"Of course I do, you're not the only one who does his research, I'm just more discrete." Kate said, standing up from the couch and putting a pillow under Castle's head, bending over to give him one more kiss before making her way into the kitchen to order them food, laughing at the sight of Castle watching her like he wanted to devour her, which wouldn't usually be so funny if it wasn't for the fact that he looked like a blueberry, his face already acquiring a nasty purple shade as they bruise formed.

Kate had just gotten resettled on the couch, Castle's head back in her lap when they heard the front door open and the unmistakable voice of Martha.

"Hello Darlings!" she called as she came into the living room, freezing when she saw Castle's face. "Oh goodness Richard, what did you do to your face?"

"Kate punched me." Castle said without hesitation, earning him a slap from Kate.

"Tell her what really happened." Kate said.

"Fine. I was the kind gentleman you raised me to be and went to give her a hug and I guess she didn't want one because she punched me." Castle said with a grin, Kate rolling her eyes.

"I was working out in the gym and apparently my outfit was too much for your son to handle and he didn't notice that I couldn't hear him and snuck up on me. Of course, I was in cop mode, so my instincts kicked in and I punched him." Kate said.

"Well in that case, you should have punched him harder." Martha said, Kate laughing while Castle opened and closed his mouth in horror.

"Mother! You're supposed to be on my side, I'm your baby!" Castle whined.

"We've got Chinese coming if you want some, Martha." Kate said, ignoring Castle.

"That sounds lovely. I'll be in my room, holler when it arrives." Martha said, sweeping up the stairs dramatically.

"You turned my mother against me." Castle said, turning back to Kate the moment his mother disappeared into her bedroom.

"You turned your own mother against you. You're the one who was staring at my ass." Kate said.

"I can't help it. It's so perfect!" Castle said as the doorbell rang.

A little over two hours later, Kate looked down to see Castle's eyes drooping, his most recent dose of medicine kicking in along with the fact that they were all stuffed. Martha had retired to bed about a half hour ago and even though it was still early, they could both use the extra sleep, especially since they were both going to have to be up every couple of hours.

"Castle." Kate called gently, stroking his cheek to urge him awake.

"Hmmm?" Castle mumbled.

"You need to wake up a little bit so we can go to bed, you're back and neck are going to be sore lying on the couch." Kate said, watching as Castle slowly blinked, waiting for the sleep to clear enough for him to stand up and shuffle into the bedroom, immediately climbing into bed, pulling Kate into her side after she set an alarm to wake her up so she could wake him up.

"Kate." Castle slurred.

"Try to go to sleep Castle." Kate said, rubbing soothing circles over his chest.

"I know. I'm sorry for today though." Castle said.

"You don't need to be sorry." Kate said quietly.

"Yes I do. It's Valentine's Day and I was going to take you out for a romantic dinner and I ruined it because I couldn't control myself." Castle mumbled.

"Castle, I didn't even know that it was Valentine's Day so don't worry about it. Besides, even if I did, this would be the best Valentine's because I got to spend it with you. Now try to get some sleep." Kate said, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw before snuggling into his chest.

"Happy Valentines Day, Kate." Castle mumbled.

"Happy Valentines Day, Castle." Kate said.

Tilting her head up slightly, she smiled when she saw that Castle already succumbed to his exhaustion and she was content to just lie there, wrapped up in his arms.

She would always want to just be with him.

Always.

_**Author's Note: So yeah, I'm going on fluff overflow this weekend. Oh well**___

_**Enjoy!**_


	105. Chapter 105

Chapter 105:

By the time Friday rolled around, Kate was exhausted.

The second she stepped into the bullpen Monday morning, they immediately caught a case that kept them at the precinct well into the night and dragged them out of bed well before the sun came up.

To make matters worse, Castle decided to stay home to get some writing done and let the bruising on his face fade even more, which meant the only time she saw him was the few minutes he managed to wake up when she came home to say goodnight and the few minutes she saw him in the morning when he dragged himself out of bed to make her coffee. She lost count of how many times she found herself reaching for her phone to text him and ask him to come in for just a little while, desperate to see him smile, or spin one of his crazy theories. Frankly, she just plain missed him, but whenever she went to text him, they would get another lead and she would be forced to wait until her next break.

Thankfully, they were able to get a confession by early Friday morning so by the time the clock hit five, she had all her paperwork complete and the only thing on her mind was going him and curling up with her writer. No sex, no anything, just lying there wrapped up in his arms.

Unfortunately, by the time she got back to the loft, she was disappointed to find a note from Castle saying he had to run back to Black Pawn and would be home by six.

Slipping out of her shoes and coat, she made her way into the bedroom to shower, figuring she might as well use the time wisely.

Stepping out of the shower nearly half an hour later, Kate pulled on a pair of Castle's boxers and his favorite Green Lantern shirt, knowing he preferred it when she wore it, saying she looked so much sexier in it than he did.

When her stomach rumbled rather loudly, she realized she was starving, which really wasn't surprising seeing as how she usually forgot to eat during stressful cases when Castle wasn't there to remind her to eat.

Pulling her hair into a messy bun, she made her way into the living room, intending to head straight to the kitchen to get something to eat, only to stop in her tracks, a huge smile taking over her face when she saw Castle standing in the kitchen looking through the fridge.

Without a second thought, Kate made her way straight to Castle, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face into his back, a giggle escaping when Castle stumbled a little, unprepared for the sudden attack.

"Hey beautiful." Castle said, closing the fridge and turning around to wrap his arms around her, pulling her into his chest.

"Hey." Kate said, burying her nose into his chest, tightening her arms around him.

"You're home early." Castle said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"We got a confession this morning so it was just paperwork. I don't care if you have to write or your face isn't healed yet, you're coming to the precinct from now on." Kate said, looking up at him so her chin was resting on his chest.

"Did something happen?" Castle asked, looking at her with concern.

"No." Kate said, looking away, not because she was lying but because she didn't want him to know the real reason, afraid she would sound weak.

"Are you lying?" Castle asked, searching her eyes.

"No." Kate said, rolling her eyes as she stepped out of his arms, hoisting herself onto the counter.

"Kate…" Castle said, obviously not willing to let it go.

"Castle… just forget it." Kate said, even though she knew he wouldn't.

"Kate, I'm not going to forget it, it's obviously bothering you and I want to help if I can." Castle said, stepping forward so he was standing in between her legs, brushing some hair out of her face.

"It's embarrassing." Kate said.

"Kate, this is me, you know I'm not going to judge you." Castle said softly.

"I missed you. When you're not there, the boys avoid me like the plague because I'm annoyed and snappy. They bring me coffee because you ask them to, but it's not the same as yours and that only makes me miss you more. I miss you jokes and crazy theories you have to lighten the mood during a difficult case. You always know how to make me feel better and when you're not there, I feel like I'm flailing. I just missed you. I mean I barely saw you this week and I just don't like it." Kate said, looking up at Castle who was smiling the biggest smile.

"Can I get that in writing?" Castle asked, once again lightening the mood, knowing that Kate didn't like things too serious.

"Shut up, I'm trying t be serious and open up." Kate said, slapping his chest even as a small smile appeared on her face.

"I know, I'm sorry. I missed you too. If I didn't have to write, I would have seriously considered throwing some makeup on my face and coming down to the precinct." Castle said, leaning forward to brush a kiss against her lips, pulling her back into his chest.

"Somehow I think you would be made fun of even more if you made yourself all pretty using makeup." Kate said with a chuckle.

"Do you want me there or not?" Castle said, the laughter clear in his voice.

"Always. I don't care if you have to bring your laptop and sit in the break room to write, I just need you there with me. No more missing days at the precinct unless it involves Alexis. Promise?" Kate asked.

When Castle didn't answer, but instead stiffened, Kate leaned back to be met with a guilty expression.

"What?" Kate asked.

"I told Paula I would go on a book tour in two weeks." Castle said, hating how Kate's eyes slipped shut and she had a pained expression on her face like he just told her he was breaking up with her.

"For how long?" Kate asked quietly, opening her eyes which were swimming with sadness.

"Just a week. I start in Miami and make my way up the coast. Seven cities in seven days." Castle said.

"And you have to go?" Kate asked.

"I don't technically have to go now, but I figured it was better to get it over with now rather than when you're pregnant." Castle said.

"I suppose that's smart. I'm going to miss you." Kate said.

"You can come with me." Castle suggested.

"I would, but I probably shouldn't. Gates isn't exactly happy with how much time I've taken off lately." Kate said.

"Well then I'll call you, text you, and Skype you whenever I can. Hell, I'll even email you crazy theories if it'll make you feel better. I don't even need to know what the case is about." Castle said with a goofy grin.

"Thank you." Kate said.

"Always." Castle said, right as Kate's stomach growled.

"Sorry, I'm starving. I don't exactly eat at the precinct unless you're there to force me." Kate said sheepishly.

"Oh my god! You admitted it." Castle said in mock surprise and shock.

"Shut up and feed me." Kate said, even throwing in a little pout.

"Chinese, Italian, or Thai?" Castle asked.

"I was kind of hoping for Remy's." Kate said, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"Okay, I can go grab some Remys." Castle said, turning to head toward the door.

"No, I don't want you to leave." Kate said, grabbing his arm and pulling him back towards her.

"How am I supposed to get Remys without leaving?" castle asked, one eyebrow raised in question.

"You're rich and famous…. I'm sure you can think of something." Kate said, refusing to meet Castle's gaze.

"Am I hearing what I think I'm hearing? Is THE Detective Beckett suggesting I use my connections, the same connection that you have done nothing but complain about for the past four years?" Castle said, the smugness clear in his voice.

"Detective Beckett isn't suggesting anything, but your fiancé Kate is suggesting you get your cute little butt on that phone and do whatever you have to do to get me some Remys without leaving the loft." Kate said, patting him on the chest before hopping off the counter and making her way into the living room to pick out a movie, making sure to add a little extra sway to her hips, knowing that Castle was watching her.

"Tease." Castle called, smiling when she threw her head back, her laughter filling the silence around them.

After picking out a movie they would both like, she curled up in the corner of the couch and picked up her phone to see she had a text from Lanie.

**Lanie: We're all going to the Old Haunt for some drinks, you and writer boy in?**

**Kate: Nope, we have plans. **

**Lanie: Sexy plans?;)**

**Kate: Cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie until we fall asleep plans. **

**Lanie: You're one of those couples… BORING!**

**Kate: Yeah, well I haven't seen him all week so boring is just what I need. **

**Lanie: You've got it bad girl. **

**Kate: You'll get there one day soon. Bye Lanie. **

"Who are you talking to?" Castle asked as he plopped down on the couch.

"Lanie. She wanted to know if we wanted to go to the Old Haunt for a drink." Kate said.

"Are we going?" Castle asked.

"Nope." Kate said, snuggling into his side.

"No?" Castle asked.

"I haven't seen you all week and I'm not about to share you. all I want to do is sit here with just you." Kate said, tightening her grip on him.

"I'm all yours." Castle said, placing a kiss to her forehead. "I'm all yours."

_**Authors Note: Well here is this story, I'm pretty sure Kate is slightly OOC, but let's be realistic… who doesn't like clingy, needy Beckett, especially when it's all cute and adorable like this. **_

_**Sorry for the delay in getting these chapters posted. Busy week. **_

_**Enjoy and please review. **_


	106. Chapter 106

Chapter 106:

Castle felt Kate's breathing even out about twenty minutes into the movie. Looking down, he was glad to see that she fell asleep, knowing that she barely got any sleep this past week with the case.

When he heard a knock on the door, he carefully extracted himself from her arms, placing a pillow under her head before going to the door to get the food.

"Hello Mr. Castle, I have your order." The young man said, holding out the bag of food and two strawberry shakes.

"Thank you." Castle said, taking the food and setting it on the table inside the door before fishing out his wallet, paying for the meal and giving the young man a good sized tip for his trouble since it wasn't exactly in his job description to make deliveries.

"Thank you Mr. Castle, have a good night." The boy said before disappearing down the hallway.

Closing the door as quietly as possible, Castle made his way back into the living room with the food to find Kate still fast asleep.

As difficult as it was to wake Kate up when she was sleeping, especially with how adorable she was, he knew that she wouldn't touch her food if he let it get cold.

Taking everything out of the bag and setting it out on the coffee table, he lit a couple candles to give the room a romantic yet relaxed feel before sitting on the edge of the couch to wake Kate up.

"Kate… wake up." Castle said, leaning forward to pepper kisses all over her face.

"Five more minutes." Kate mumbled, burying her face into the pillow in an attempt to go back to sleep.

"Come on Kate." Castle said, leaning forward to nibble on her earlobe before making his way down to her neck.

"Mmm… feels good… don't stop." Kate mumbled, a small smile on her face as she attempted to give him better access to her neck.

With a chuckle, Castle placed one more kiss directly to her pulse point before pulling away, his smile growing when Kate groaned in protest.

"Why did you stop?" Kate asked, opening her eyes to glare at him, only to fail when it was interrupted by a yawn.

"Because as much as I would love to make you fall apart right here, right now, you need to eat and I know you won't eat if your food is cold." Castle said, grabbing her burger and holding it out to her.

Looking at the burger in her fiancé's hand, she looked back at him before looking back at the burger. When her stomach growled rather loudly her decision was made.

"This isn't over." Kate said, sitting up and snatching the burger out of his hand, putting her feet on the coffee table as she opened her burger, taking a huge bite, her eyes closing, unable to hold back the moan that escaped.

"Hungry?" Castle asked, looking her with a smirk on his face.

"Shut up." Kate said, stuffing a fry in his mouth before grabbing a fry for herself and resuming the movie they were watching.

After they both finished their dinner, which involved one rather painful brain freeze when Castle drank his milkshake way too fast, Castle laid down along the length of the couch, pulling Kate with him so she was lying comfortably between him and the back of the couch.

Kate was trying to pay attention to the movie, she really was, but Castle was making it really hard. He was currently running his hand up and down her stomach, brushing the undersides of her breasts before working his way down so his fingers dipped under the waistline of her boxer shorts, lighting her skin on fire.

At first, Kate thought that he had no idea what he was doing, that it was just some kind of unconscious reaction to having her in his arms, but when she shifted slightly in an attempt to relieve some of the ache between her legs, she heard him take a sharp intake of breath and his cock twitched slightly against her hip and she knew he was just as turned on as she was.

Unable to stand it any longer, Kate tilted her head slightly, burying her nose into his neck, closing her eyes in an attempt to control herself, which was pointless when she couldn't help herself and ended up placing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, and then another and another.

"Kate?" Castle said, his voice husky with arousal.

"Yeah?" Kate breathed out against his neck, feeling the shudder that coursed through his body.

"Are you as turned on as I am right now?" Castle asked, shifting so Kate was now flat on her back, Castle hovering over her, his hands on either side of her head, their lips inches apart, breaths mingling, a wave of desperate need coursing through her body when she saw pure list swimming in Castle's eyes.

"God yes." Kate said, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck, pulling him down to close the distance between them, Castle taking advantage of the gasp that escaped when his thigh pressed into her, his tongue running across the roof of her mouth, dragging a moan out of her.

She couldn't take it anymore, she needed him and she needed him now.

With a move she was sure she couldn't repeat, she managed to hook her leg around Castle's, pushing him backwards and sitting up at the same time so she was now straddling him, looking down at his surprised face.

"That was so hot." Castle said, a huge grin appearing on his face, his hands coming to rest on her hips, holding her in place so she was unable to rub against him to get the frictions eh so desperately needed.

"If you liked that, your going to really like this." Kate said, running her hands up his chest before pulling the two sides of his shirts apart, the buttons flying all over the room as she watched him, a mischievous grin on her face, her tongue poking out from between her teeth.

"Hey! That was my favorite shirt." Castle said, looking down to survey the damage.

"Are you really worried about your shirt right now?" Kate asked, reaching down to grab the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head, smirking when Castle sat there, mouth hanging open, eyes wide with surprise at the sight of her straddling him, naked from the waist up.

"Um… Uh… I'll just buy a new one." Castle said, visibly swallowing as his eyes shamelessly worked over her body.

"That's what I thought." Kate said, leaning forward to capture his lips, her hips shamelessly bucking into his hand which had found its way under the waistline of her boxers, running through her wet folds.

"God you're so wet." Castle growled, his hand lying still between her legs.

"Castle, if your hand doesn't start moving in five seconds, I am going to take myself into that bedroom and handle things myself." Kate growled in frustration.

"So fucking hot." Castle growled, crashing his lips into hers as he inserted two fingers into her and began pumping in and out of her, the heal of his palm pressed against her swollen clit, adding wonderful sensations to the mix as she quickly shattered around his hand, her head thrown back as her orgasm coursed through her, a string of explicatives filling the room as she cried out.

Castle had barely removed his hand from her shorts before her hands found his belt, hastily unbuckling it.

"Someone's a little eager." Castle said with a cocky grin.

"Castle, we haven't had sex in over a week. I'm horny as hell and all I want is for you to help me get these pants off so you can fuck me until the only thing I can remember is your name." Kate hissed.

"I love it when you talk dirty." Castle growled, quickly getting rid of his pants and Kate's before pulling her back into his lap, positioning himself at her entrance and sinking into her with one swift motion. He barely gave her time to adjust before he was setting a steady rhythm, his hands on her hips, guiding her. There was nothing hotter than the sight of Kate Beckett riding him with such reckless abandon.

"Castle… I'm so close." Kate moaned, her hands coming up to play with her breasts, tweaking and pinching her nipples.

"Let go for me Kate, let go for me." Castle growled, speeding up his thrusts.

All it took was Castle pressing his thumb into her clit momentarily before her whole body tensed, her walls clenching around him, her head thrown back, eyes closed and mouth slightly parted as her orgasm washed over her.

With gritted teeth, Castle slowed down his thrusts, but kept moving at a steady pace, allowing Kate to ride out her orgasm before he flipped them, Kate once gain lying on her back, Castle hovering over her as he leaned down and captured her lips, keeping up the steady pace as he slowly pushed her closer and closer to the edge once again.

Before Castle, she was lucky is she climaxed at all, usually having to take care of things on her own afterwards, but with Castle, he always made sure he brought her multiple orgasms, always holding out until just the right moment before he allowed himself his release. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before, getting better and better every time, which seemed impossible, but it's not. With each new day, they love each other more than the last and the more you love someone, the better the sex.

Looking up at Castle, she could tell that he was close, really close by the way his jaw was clenched and twitching. She also knew that he wasn't going to let go until he was sure she would be following right behind him.

Without breaking eye contact, Kate spread her legs a little farther apart, allowing Castle to sink further into her as she brought one hand up to her breast, the other sliding down her body, finding her clit where she began to rub small, fast circled on her bundle of nerves, the heat coiling in her abdomen until she knew that she would follow Castle over the edge when he found his release.

"Castle… Castle let go." Kate moaned.

"But…" Castle started to protest.

"I'll be right behind you, I promise. Just let go." Kate said, reaching up to cup his cheek with one hand, bringing his lips down to hers, her other hand still swirling around her clit.

She could tell the moment Castle let go and just focused on the sensations rather than maintaining his control. His movements became fast and sloppy and with a few more thrusts, Castle spilled himself into her, his release triggering hers, her walls clenching around him, milking him dry as they both rode out their orgasms before collapsing into a heap of tangled limbs on the couch, chests heaving as they tried to catch their breaths.

Knowing that there were no words to describe what they just shared, Castle pulled Kate tighter against him so her head was on his chest, arms wrapped around his waist and legs tangled with his before pulling the throw blanket on the back of the couch over them, both of them too exhausted to move to the bedroom ten feet away.

As they both drifted off to sleep, slight smiles on their faces, there was one thing they were both sure of…

There was nowhere they'd rather be than right here, wrapped in each other's arms.

_**Author's Note: Come on guys, did you really think they were going to make it through the night without having sex after not seeing each other for a week? This is Castle and Beckett we are talking about. **_

_**I should get one more chapter up today if things go as planned. **_

_**Enjoy and review. **_


	107. Chapter 107

Chapter 107:

When it came to waking up with Kate Beckett, Castle never knew what to expect.

For the first few weeks of their relationship, Castle would often wake up to find Kate already awake, fighting every instinct she had to run. Without a second thought, Castle would pull her into him, wrapping his arms around her, knowing she felt safe in his embrace. Every time, without fail, Castle would feel the tension drain out of her body immediately as she wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled deeper into his chest, letting Castle know that they would be okay.

Eventually, while Kate would still wake up before him, he was no longer met with wide, panicky eyes, but instead brilliant, bright green eyes, crinkles in the corner because of the big, goofy smile his beautiful detective had on. She was no longer scared to be there, she wanted to be there.

One of his favorite memories of waking up with Kate was the first time he rolled over to fine her still sound asleep.

He wasn't surprised when he woke up to find that it was half past ten, they hadn't left the precinct until well after midnight, but he couldn't help the disappointment that washed over him knowing that Kate would have woken up a few hours ago, even though it was her day off, and went home, unwilling to wake him up when he needed the sleep, but uncomfortable waiting around for him to wake up on his own.

His disappointment was short lived though when he rolled over, surprised to see that not only was Kate still there, but she was still sound asleep, dead to the world.

He couldn't take his eyes off her.

She looked so peaceful, lying there, hair sprawled across her pillow, slight smile on her face. She looked like she didn't have a worry in the world. You would never be able to tell that at the age of nineteen, her life was ripped apart when she came home to find out that her mother had been murdered in a filthy alley. You would never know that this woman not only lost her mother that day, but also her father when he took the death of his wife hard and hit the bottle, forcing her to grow up far too soon and put up a wall around her heart to keep herself from feeling that kind of pain again. You would never guess that she faced murder on a daily basis, making sure the victim's family got the closure she never got. Looking at this woman, you would never guess that she had stared death in the eye far too many times, even for someone who did what she did. No, looking at this beautiful woman, you would see her for nothing more than what she truly was… breathtaking.

In that moment, Castle fell in love all over again, especially when Kate began to stir, blinking a few times before her big, beautiful brown eyes met his and a big, tired, lopsided grin took over her whole face, making it impossible not to allow the smile that took over his face when Kate leaned in to press a lazy kiss to his lips before burying her face into his chest, her eyes once again closed as she drifted back to sleep, content to just be there with him.

That was when Castle knew he would do whatever it took to make sure he woke up next to this beautiful woman everyday for the rest of his life, that was when he knew without a doubt that Kate was his always.

Of course, he had been woken up in more… adventurous ways. Come to think about it, Kate had woken him up that way far more often than she would ever care to admit, but he wasn't complaining, there was nothing hotter than waking up to Kate Beckett doing delicious things to his body because she was so turned on, she couldn't control herself anymore.

But above all else, he loved waking up knowing that Kate had been watching him sleep.

The first time he caught her watching him was the morning after she first told him she loved him.

He probably never would have figured it out, but Castle knew all of Kate's facial expression like the back of his hand so when he rolled over and her face instantly turned bright red as she quickly looked away in an attempt to hide her reaction, Castle knew she had been watching him simply because that is exactly what she did whenever he caught her watching him at the precinct.

But of course, when he brought it up, Kate was her usual stubborn self and denied it before sliding out of bed and disappearing into the bathroom, knowing that if Castle really wanted to, he could get the truth out of her.

For the next month, the same routine went on. Castle would wake up three to four times a week, roll over to find Kate watching him and sit back and watch as her face turned bright red before disappearing into the bathroom after denying that she was watching him.

By then, Castle had enough and knew that if he wanted the answer he was looking for, he had to switch up tactics and to do that he would have to resort to one of the three ways to get Kate to open up and talk.

The first and probably the easiest way to get Beckett to open up was to get some alcohol in her system. When Lanie first told him this at the Old Haunt one night when the gang decided to go get drinks after a tough case, he thought she was joking, especially since everyone made it clear that she would kick his ass in a drinking game. Plus he had gone out for drinks with Beckett loads of times before they started dating and if anything, Beckett always seemed more guarded when she was drinking. So, he brushed it off, deciding that Lanie was just messing with him, trying to get him to do something stupid. Then, a little over a week later, Kate informed him that she was going for a girls night at Lanie's and despite his very unmanly protests that bordered on begging, Kate was adamant that she would be returning to her apartment for the night and would see him tomorrow for their date. Apparently, she forgot that little detail because he was opening the door to a slightly tipsy Beckett a little after midnight and quickly found out that Lanie was right when she said Beckett would be more open after getting a little buzz. After some of the best, most mind blowing sex he's ever had, because apparently alcohol also intensifies Kate Beckett's sex drive, Kate started going on and on about how hot she thought he was when he first started shadowing her and how the only reason she pretended to hate him was so that she wouldn't drag him into the nearest storage closest and ravish him right then and there, all without him even asking. So yes, Kate Beckett revealed things she otherwise wouldn't with the right amount of alcohol, but he didn't want to use this method because he would never forgive himself for essentially drugging her to tell him something she obviously didn't want to tell him, so alcohol was out.

Then there was probably the most difficult way to get information out of Beckett and that was simply being patient and waiting her out, hoping that when you asked again, she would be in a better mood and tell you what you what you want to know. This usually worked when it was something important or something that was bothering Kate, but when it was simply something that Castle was curious about that would really change nothing about their relationship, the chances that Kate came to him and opened up were slim, which was proven to him over the past month when he got shot down every time he asked her.

That meant he had to rely on his secret weapon, a secret weapon he had discovered a few months after she moved in… Beckett would reveal anything when she was in that place between being awake and being asleep, the place where she was still awake enough to understand his questions and answer them, but too asleep to even think about doing anything other than telling the truth and Castle used that to his advantage.

The perfect opportunity came a few weeks later. They had the day off, just spending time together, walking around the city, curling up on the couch to watch some movies with a big bowl of popcorn, just normal, everyday couple things that they usually never got to do because of Kate's job.

That night, they both went to bed knowing that they wouldn't be having sex, it just wasn't that kind of night. Instead, Kate immediately snuggled into Castle's side when he got comfortable and they spent hours talking about anything and everything, the boys, Lanie, Martha, Alexis, Jim, anything that came to mind, they talked about it.

Eventually, Kate seemed to take a little longer to reply and when she did, her words were slightly slurred. Looking down, he saw that her eyes were closed, but she wasn't quite asleep yet and he knew that this was his opportunity to get the information he wanted out of her.

"Hey Kate?" Castle asked, careful to keep his voice quiet knowing that if he spoke too loud he would startle her and snap her out of her current state.

"Hmm?" Kate mumbled.

"Why do you watch me sleep in the mornings sometimes?" Castle asked.

"How do you know I'm watching you if you are asleep?" Kate asked.

Okay, so maybe she wasn't as asleep as he thought she was, but he could work with this.

"Because I know you. Whenever I catch you watching me in the precinct, your face turns bright red and you quickly look away and usually make some excuse to walk away, knowing that I can get you to spill if I really wanted to. It's the same thing you do in the morning when you are watching me, but try to play it off like you're not." Castle said.

When Kate didn't say anything, he thought he overstepped. He was just apologize when she finally spoke.

"Because when you're asleep, you're just you, you're the man that I fell in love with. When you're asleep, you aren't the guy that has almost died way too many times because of me, you aren't the guy that I put through hell while I tried to deny feelings that were clearly there, you aren't the guy that is constantly worried that I'm not going to come home, you aren't the guy that I'm constantly worried that won't come home, you're just you, your just Rick. I don't know if it makes sense, but I can't not watch you." Kate said, looking up at him with such love and adoration that it momentarily took his breath away. He imagined that is the look on her face when she is watching him.

"I know what you mean." Castle said quietly, looking down at her with a small smile.

"You do?" Kate asked, slightly surprised, because she had a hard time understanding it herself.

"I do. It's the same for me. I love watching you when you're awake, which I'm sure you've figured out by now since I'm always staring at you at the precinct, but as much as I love watching you when you're awake, I love it even more when you're asleep because like you said, you're just you, you're just the woman I love. There are no signs of the pain you go through on a daily basis. When you are sleeping, you aren't the girl who lost her mother far too soon, you're just Kate, you aren't the girl who has an alcoholic father or has been through hell and back far too many times, you're just you, you're just Kate. It kills me knowing how much pain you have experienced in your life and I would do anything I could if it meant taking that pain away, but I can't, you will always live with it. I guess I just like knowing that at least when you're asleep, you are getting a break." Castle said.

"Okay so maybe you do get it. I'm sorry for keeping it from you for so long, I just didn't know how to explain it so I didn't." Kate said.

"It's okay. But just so you know, even if you don't know how to say something, you can still talk to me about it and we can figure it out together, okay?" Castle asked.

"Okay." Kate said.

And that was the end of it.

From that point on whenever Castle caught Kate watching him, she would no longer get embarrassed and hide and Castle would tease her, telling her it was creepy to watch someone sleep, even though they both secretly knew that Castle loved to watch Kate while she slept and Kate loved to watch Castle while he slept.

It was no different that Saturday morning on the couch, snuggled up with a naked Kate Beckett, the sun streaming through the windows.

He knew almost instantly as he woke up that Kate was watching him and he couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face when he thought about the expression of pure love on her face, the same expression she had on the night she told him why she watched him in his sleep.

"You know it's creepy when you stare at people." Castle mumbled, finally opening his eyes to see Kate resting her chin on one of her hands, staring up at him.

"Does that mean you're going to stop staring at me since it's so creepy?" Kate asked with a smirk, quirking an eyebrow at him in question.

"Not a chance." Castle said.

"Good." Kate said as she moved forward to capture his lips with hers.

"You sure know how to wake a man up in the morning." Castle said, his lips still slightly puckered, eyes closed.

"That's not the only thing I know how to wake up." Kate said as her hand ran down his chest and underneath the blanket, gripping his hardened cock, smirking when he gasped in surprise when her hand closed around him.

"Why Detective Beckett, are you trying to seduce me?" Castle asked once he was able to form coherent sentences, a playful tone in his voice.

"You have no idea." Kate whispered into his ear in her best bedroom voice, feeling his cock twitch against her abdomen, a squeal escaping when Castle suddenly flipped them so Kate was now on her back, her legs wrapped around Castle's waist.

"No Kate. It's you that has no idea." Castle said, Kate's breath hitching when she saw that animalistic look on his face as he positioned himself at her entrance, pushing himself into her with one thrust, ready to show her just how much of an idea she didn't have.

They were so caught up in each other, eyes locked as Castle began to move inside of her, that neither of them heard the door to the loft open and close as Martha did her morning walk of shame, making it all the way into the kitchen before she noticed the occupants of the couch.

Thankfully, the back of the couch served as the perfect barrier so she didn't see anything, but there was no mistaking what they were doing. Quickly turning around and disappearing up the stairs to her bedroom, there was one thing Martha was sure of.

It was time to move out.

_**Author's Note: Awkward! They got caught by Martha and they don't even know it… yet. I hope this chapter isn't that confusing. I knew what I wanted out of this chapter in my head, but the words didn't seem to want to cooperate. Anyway… **_

_**Enjoy and review!**_


	108. Chapter 108

Chapter 108:

"I think we are going to have to get a new couch." Castle said as he pulled the throw blanket back over their naked, sated bodies.

"Why?" Kate asked as she nestled her nose into his neck.

"Because I'm never going to be able to look at this couch again without thinking about last night and this morning and then people are going to think that I'm some pervert that gets turned on by couches." Castle said.

"You do realize that there is a flaw in your plan, right?" Kate asked, propping herself up to look at him, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"What's that?" Castle asked.

"I can't control myself around you. It's only a matter of time before I'm so turned on we can't make it to the bedroom and I end up having my wicked way with you on the new couch. Are you going to replace that couch too?" Kate asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Okay, new plan, we just won't invite anyone over anymore and then I won't have to worry about people thinking I'm turned on by a couch." Castle said.

"Maybe we should just stop having sex." Kate said, a smirk playing on her lips.

"That would never work." Castle said.

"Oh really, and why's that?" Kate asked.

"Because, you just admitted that you can't control yourself around me." Castle said with a smug grin on his face.

"You're never going to let me forget that I said that, are you?" Kate asked even though she knew the answer.

"Nope, but don't worry, I can't control myself around you either." Castle said as he began to nibble on her neck, a breathy moan escaping her lips, which caused Castle to let laugh.

"What?" Kate asked, frustrated that his lips were no longer doing wonderful things to her body.

"You really can't control yourself around me. We just had mind blowing sex, twice, and you're already ready to go again." Castle said.

"It's not my fault. I've never been like this with anyone before. It's you." Kate said defensively.

"I will gladly take the blame for your incorrigibleness. Now as much as I would love to lay here all day and do wicked, wicked things to your body, I have been stuck in this loft all week and I'm starting to go stir crazy. What do you say we get dressed, have some breakfast, and then spend the afternoon walking around town, and then tonight I will romance you like the true gentleman I am with dinner and dancing." Castle said.

"Does this romancing include you peeling my dress off of me at the end of the night?" Kate asked.

"I think I can fit that into the plans." Castle said, a huge grin appearing on his face.

"Then I think that sounds wonderful, Mr. Castle." Kate said, pressing her lips to his once more before slipping off the couch and making her way to the bedroom, Castle still on the couch, admiring her perfect, naked ass.

"You coming Castle, or are you going to make me take a shower alone?" Kate called from inside the bedroom.

Without a second thought, Castle jumped off the couch, running into the bathroom as fast he could, wrapping his arms around Kate's waist as he blew a raspberry on her neck, her laughter filling the room, which brought a smile to Castle's face.

With any other woman, taking a shower together automatically meant having sex and while he enjoyed the occasional romp in the shower, he usually preferred to simply shower to get clean, something he and Kate shared. Sure, they have had their fair share of shower sex when wandering hands wandered a bit too much and they couldn't control their urges anymore, but when he took a shower with Kate, more times than not, they simply showered and Castle absolutely loved that, but what he loved even more was that there was something about a shower or bath that brought out Kate's inner child.

There was the time Castle had come home from a long meeting with his publishers to find out that Kate had drawn up a bubble bath for them, except instead of regular bubbles, she went out and bought color changing bubbles and they spent the entire bath creating a variety of beards and mustaches using the multi colored soaps.

Then there was the time she got these crayon type things that were meant to be used to write on your body in water so they spent an entire shower writing random phrases and words and drawing pictures all over each other's bodies.

Today, they took turns using the shampoo to give each other crazy hairstyles, their laughter filling the bathroom at the ridiculous poses they were striking with every new style.

When the water started to get cold, they quickly washed themselves off before stepping out of the shower to get dressed, Castle making his way to the kitchen to start breakfast while Kate stayed behind to do her hair and makeup since they were going out in public.

Castle was just sliding the pancakes onto their plates when Kate came padding out of the bedroom in a pair of form fitting jeans, a white buttoned up shirt, and her hair falling over her shoulders in soft curls. Castle couldn't help but stare, his mouth hanging open as he watched her make her way towards him.

Kate should really be used to this by now, used to the way Castle looked at her like he had never seen anything so beautiful, like he couldn't believe that she was there, living with him, engaged to him, simply with him. Even when she was at her worst, wearing old, worn out sweatpants and a t-shirt too big for her, her hair pulled up in a messy bun, her face lacking makeup, he still looked at her like that.

As she sat down and pulled her coffee and pancakes towards her, she tried not to blush, she really did, but she couldn't help it, he was staring at her with such love and amazement, it sent her heart beating frantically against her chest and an overwhelming wave of need coiling in her abdomen. She was suddenly wondering why she agreed to leave the loft today because all she wanted to do was drag Castle back into the bedroom and staying bed all day, letting him have his wicked way with her.

"Richard darling, haven't I taught you that it's not polite to stare." Martha said as she descended the stairs, snapping them both out of their thoughts.

"Not staring mother, admiring." Castle said, forcing himself to look away from Kate, which was a lot harder than it seemed.

"Either way, if you feel the need to stare at dear Katherine here, at least try to hide the fact that you are doing so." Martha said rather dramatically.

"I'll keep that in mind mother. Would you like to join us for breakfast?" Castle asked as he finally reached for his own breakfast.

"No thank you darling, I have to get to the studio. I just came by to let you that I will be moving out and I need your assistance to help me move my things to my new apartment. Kate darling, maybe you could ask those handsome gentleman you work with to give us a hand?" Martha said.

"Um, sure." Kate said, not quite sure what you're supposed to say when the mother of your fiancé announces that she is moving out.

"Um, mother why exactly are you moving out and why exactly am I hearing about this now for the first time when it sounds to me like you've already purchased that place." Castle asked.

"I wasn't planning on moving out, but when one of the gentleman down at the studio told me about this quaint apartment a few blocks away and once I saw it, I just knew it was meant for me. Plus you two are getting married, starting a life together, with Alexis gone and you two planning on making me a grandmother, the last thing you need is me being around." Martha said.

"Martha, don't feel like you need to leave because of us. There is plenty of room here and we love having you here. Plus I'm sure once we do have a baby, the extra hands will be welcomed." Kate said hesitantly.

"She's right mother, are you sure about this because there is really no need for you to leave." Castle said.

"Nonsense kiddos, I am absolutely positive. I'm doing this for me just as much as I'm doing it for you. I've always wanted my own little place and it just happens to be right next to my studio. And judging by this morning, you two need some privacy of your own." Martha said with a wink as she made her way to the door.

"This morning?" Castle asked, looking at Kate with confusion who had the same look on her face.

"Yes darling, this morning. Let's just say if you plan on having company over anytime soon, make sure you get that couch cleaned." Martha said as she shut the door, leaving behind a stunned Castle and Beckett.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." Kate said, turning towards Castle with wide, panicked eyes.

"Okay… don't freak out." Castle said, cringing when anger flashed in Kate's eyes.

"Don't freak out? Castle, your mother walked in on us having sex and to make matters worse, we didn't hear her which means we were probably being pretty loud at the moment because we both know Martha isn't quiet. How can I not freak out? I'm never going to be able to look your mother in the eye again knowing that she's seen me with my legs in the air." Kate hissed.

"Okay, so it was pretty bad, but it could have been worse, it could have been Alexis… or your dad." Castle said as his eyes went wide, obviously thinking about the bodily harm that would come his way if Jim walked in on that.

"You're not making this any better." Kate said, crossing her arms over her chest which she only did when she was really pissed off, but knew that she was partially to blame so she was trying to control herself.

"I know, I know. My point is, as embarrassing as that situation was, there is nothing we can do to change it so let's not let it ruin our dat. I just want to forget it ever happened and take my beautiful fiancé out for a relaxing afternoon and a romantic evening of dinner and dancing before bringing you back here and peeling every layer off your beautiful body so I can have my wicked way with you all night long." Castle said as he walked towards her, placing his hands on her hips as he pushed her back into the door, his leg slipping in between hers as he began nipping and sucking at her neck, a smug grin on his face as a whimper escaped from Kate's lips when he pulled back.

"Do we have to go out?" Kate whispered, grinding her hips into his thigh, a moan breaking free, secretly satisfied because she knew that Castle couldn't resist her when she was like this.

"Yes." Castle said, placing a brief kiss to her lips that only left her wanting more, as he removed his leg from between hers, keeping his hands on her hips to hold her against the door.

"Why?" Kate practically whined, running her hands up and down his toned chest.

"Because as much as I would love to stay here and do exactly what's going through your mind right now, we haven't been on an actual date in who knows how long and I want to change that." Castle said, stepping away from her and grabbing their coats, slipping his on before holding her out to her.

"I hate you." Kate grumbled as she slipped in her jacket.

"I know." Castle said as he grabbed his things.

"We're never having anything but boring old bedroom sex ever again." Kate said, hoping he would bite and give up, allowing them to stay home.

"Whatever you say babe." Castle said as he closed the door behind them, slapping her ass as he walked by her on his way to the elevator.

Standing there in disbelief, her eyes narrowed at the nerve Castle had, she knew one thing that was happening today, she was going to make him pay.

"You coming?" Castle called as he stepped into the elevator, a smug grin on his face.

Oh yes, he was definitely going to pay.

_**Author's Note: Wala! Feel special, I stayed up late to type this up for you. **_

_**So as my lovely readers I come to you for suggestions, how would you like to see Kate get back at Castle for his antics on their day/night out?**_

_**Enjoy and review!**_


	109. Chapter 109

Chapter 109:

When Castle joined her on the sidewalk outside their building after holding open the door for an elderly couple that lives a few floors below them, Kate automatically reached for Castle's hand, intertwining their fingers, a habit she has picked up sometime in the past few months.

"I love it when you do that." Castle said, looking over at her with a huge, goofy grin.

"When I do what?" Kate asked, a little worried what the answer was with the look he was giving her.

"Whenever we go somewhere, it doesn't matter where we are or who is around, you always immediately reach for my hand like it's second nature. Even at crime scenes sometimes, you reach for my hand before you realize where you are and what you're doing." Castle said.

"And you love that why?" Kate asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"I used t have to fight you tooth and nail for any kind of PDA because you didn't want the press to get wind of us, which I completely understood, but even though I knew your reasons, I couldn't help the small part of me that was always saying that you were ashamed and embarrassed to be seen with me in a romantic capacity in public. Now that you just do something as simple as taking my hand without even thinking about it, it means a lot to me, it makes me feel wanted, lets me know that it doesn't bother you to be seen with me, even though I knew that was never the case to begin with. I don't know, its just nice to know you want to hold my hand." Castle said with a shrug.

Kate felt sick, when she first started dating Castle, even before she started dating Castle, one of her biggest fears was the publicity he got so when they decided to move forward with their relationship, she didn't even think twice when she refused to do anything in public with Castle that would reveal their relationship, especially when Castle agreed with no argument. But now, walking with him and listening to how he though she was ashamed of him, how something as simple as her initiating their hand holding meant so much to him, she realized how wrong she been, how her actions hurt Castle, but he didn't say anything because he was afraid if he did, she would run without a second thought.

She had to fix this and she knew exactly how she was going to do so.

Stopping in the middle of the side walk she held onto Castle's hand, yanking him back towards her, receiving dirty looks form fellow pedestrians as they walked around them on their way to wherever they were going.

Without a second though, she snaked her arms around his neck, crashing her lips into his, her tongue immediately begging for entrance. It took a couple caresses of her mouth over his before he started to respond and then all bets were off, the entire world melting away leaving only them. They didn't break apart until they hear someone yell get a room or they would call the cops. As much as she was all for showing Castle she wasn't ashamed of him, they were in the twelfth's jurisdiction and the last thing she needed was Esposito and Ryan coming to arrest her for public indecency that she initiated.

"What was that for?" Castle asked, locking his hands around her waist as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers, his chest still heaving from the lack of oxygen during their heated make out session.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm not ashamed to be seen with you in public in any capacity and I thought the best way to prove that was to make out with you where everyone can see." Kate said.

"If that was your goal, you should have let me pay to get us making out on the jumbo tron in Times Square." Castle said, completely joking.

"If that's what it takes for you to know I'm not ashamed of you, then that's what I'll do." Kate said seriously even though she knew he was joking.

"Hey, I know you're not ashamed of me. I know it now and I knew it then. It was just momentary bouts of insecurity." Castle said, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"I know, but you never should have had those insecurities. Even if I wasn't comfortable with being in the press and PDA, I should have realized what it might look like to you and make sure that you knew that wasn't the case, even if I still wasn't comfortable with being in the press. But all I did was worry about what the press would do to me, never once thinking about you when that's all you ever do, think about me and my needs over your own." Kate sighed.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up over it. It happened and like I said, it was my fault I even let those thoughts cross my mind because you did make it clear that it was about nothing other than not wanting to have your private life spread over page six. Besides, it doesn't matter anymore because you just made out with me in the middle of the sidewalk in front of a whole bunch of strangers. So let's forget the past and get you some coffee." Castle said, taking her hand and pulling her in the direction of her favorite coffee shop, which she has surprisingly never been to.

"Coffee?" Kate asked.

"Yes coffee. And a bear claw. You only took a few bites of your pancakes and a couple sips of your coffee this morning. I'm not spending the day with an uncaffinated Beckett and you need to ear mote than what you did. So coffee and a bear claw and then after that what we do is up to you." Castle said, holding the door open for her, allowing her to enter before following her into the coffee shop.

"So if I wanted to take you back to the loft and drag you back to bed to have my wicked way with you, we could?" Kate asked with her bedroom voice.

"Let me rephrase my previous statement. After we get coffee and a bear claw, we can do anything you want to do that doesn't involve you dragging me back to the loft to have your wicked way with me, as wonderful as that sounds." Castle said, pulling her towards the counter where they pick up their order.

"I never thought I would see the day Richard Castle turned down an offer for a scandalous afternoon and aren't you supposed to order your drinks and food before you pick them up?" Kate said, pointing to the line to their left that was for ordering.

"Usually yes, here no. I've been coming here to get our coffee for the past four years. After the first year, they knew my order and by the second they would just automatically start making it without me having to stand in line and order." Castle said right as a young, blonde woman signaled to him that his order was ready.

"Go get our coffee writer boy." Kate said, rolling her eyes as she pushed him in the direction of the counter.

Once Castle walked away to get their breakfast, Kate pulled out her phone, pulling up a new text message to Lanie.

**Kate: I need you help, I need to get back at Castle. **

**Lanie: Seriously? It's been 24 hours and he's already driving you crazy? **

**Kate: No, at least not like you're thinking… **

**Lanie: Oh! Writer boy is driving you **_**crazy**_** crazy?;)**

**Kate: Yup. **

**Lanie: So what's the problem? Take him to that big ole bed of yours and do your thing!**

**Kate: He won't let me. I've done everything I can think of to seduce him, but he keeps shutting me down. **

**Lanie: Wait, wait, wait, Richard Castle… THE Richard Castle is refusing sex with you after you two haven't seen each other in a week?**

**Kate: Well… not exactly. We had some great sex last night and some even better wake up sex this morning, but then he dragged me out of the loft saying how we haven't had a lot of time out together and wanted to give me a relaxing day out and a romantic evening of dinner and dancing. **

**Lanie: Wait a minute, you're complaining because your man wants to spoil you and romance you after what sounds like some pretty amazing sex?**

**Kate: I know, I know, but it's not my fault. Like you said, we haven't seen each other in over a week so I was already all hot and bothered even after our morning sex session and then to make matters worse, he pushed me up against the door, getting me even more hot and bothered and then he just stopped right when I couldn't take it anymore. **

**Lanie: He just stopped?**

**Kate: Yup. Grabbed our coats and just walked away. When I told him we were never having anything but boring bedroom sex from now on he just got this cocky grin on his face, slapped my add and said whatever you say babe. **

**Lanie: LMAO! Writer boy's got balls! **

**Kate: Lanie… **

**Lanie: Sorry, sorry. So what do you need help with exactly?**

**Kate: I want to give him a taste of his own medicine. **

**Lanie: Ahh… operation get writer boy just as hot and bothered as you are?**

**Kate: Exactly. Any suggestion?**

**Lanie: Take him lingerie shopping. **

**Kate: What? What good will that do?**

**Lanie: Simple… you take him into the dressing room, tell him he can look, not touch, put on a show for him and then just leave him hanging and pretend that you are going to continue on with your day. The only thing he will be able to think about is you in all those outfits and he will be dragging you back to the loft by your hair like a caveman before you know it. **

**Kate: That actually might work. Thanks Lanie!**

**Lanie: Anytime girl! Have fun with writer boy;) **

As she stuffed her phone back in her pocket, she saw Castle walking back towards her, balancing one cup of coffee on top of the other, two bear claws in the other.

When he finally made his way through the crowd over to her and she went to take her coffee, she notice that something was written on Castle's cup.

"Castle, what's on your coffee cup?" Kate asked.

"Huh?" Castle asked, looking down at the wrong side of the cup.

Rolling her eyes, she took his cup and turned it around so he could see the writing.

"Oh. It says 'Call me when you get tired of getting her coffee. I'll bring you some for a change. Brittany" and she left her phone number." Castle said, turning the cup around so she could see the note.

"Hold this and give me this." Kate said taking his coffee cup and handing him hers.

"What are you doing?" Castle asked.

"Just stand there and look pretty." Kate said as she made her way up to the perky blonde she had seen give Castle their coffees.

"Hello ma'am, how can I help you?" the blonde asked.

"Are you Brittany?" Kate asked.

"Yes I am." Brittany said.

"Well, Brittany… see that man over there?" Kate said, pointing to Castle who waved nervously.

"Yes, he is so hot." Brittany said, winking at Castle who promptly looked away.

"Yeah, well, that hot man is mine." Kate said, watching as the young girls eyes snapped back to hers.

"What?" Brittany asked.

"He's mine. I'm the 'her' you referred to in your little note." Kate said, setting down the coffee cup so the note was in view. "Now I don't know about you, but I don't think your boss would like it very much to know that you are treating your customers in such an unprofessional manner."

"It's not unprofessional, it's called flirting. It's only a matter of time before he dumps you and goes looking for someone younger, it's Richard Castle, he doesn't make commitments." Brittany said in a cold tone.

"Oh really? Then what do you call this?" Kate asked, showing the barista her engagement ring.

"What is that?" Brittany asked.

"It's called an engagement ring, an engagement ring that the very Richard Castle you just said doesn't make commitments gave to me. So I suggest you keep your little notes to yourself and find someone your own age, someone who doesn't have a daughter that is older than you. You can pass the message along to any of your other little friends who think they have a chance with him, because they don't. He's off the market and that is never going to change. Have a nice day." Kate said, grabbing Castle's cup of coffee and making her way back over to Castle.

"Did you just tell that barista off for writing on my cup?" Castle asked, taking his coffee cup back from her, a twinkle in his eyes.

"I did not tell her off. I simply made sure that you were off the market and that wasn't going to change. I may have also told her to pass that message on to all her friends, showed her my engagement ring when she questioned your ability to make a commitment and told her to find someone her own age that didn't have a daughter that's older than her." Kate said, taking a bite of her bear claw.

"I love it when you're jealous." Castle said with a goofy grin.

"I'm not jealous." Kate said.

"Mhm, that's why you just ripped that barista a new one. It's okay you don't have to admit it, I know the truth. Kate Beckett is jealous because someone else wants me." Castle sing songed.

"Are you done?" Kate asked, glaring at him.

"Yes, but just so you know, you have no reason to be jealous, she isn't my type." Castle said.

"Oh really, and what is your type?" Kate asked.

"Tall, leggy brunettes who kicks ass and saves the world on a regular, has a brilliant writer for a partner, can't control herself around said writer, and gets jealous when someone else tries to pick up her man." Castle said with a smirk.

"Just for that, you're not getting any tonight." Kate said.

"I would believe you if you weren't already having a difficult time controlling yourself." Castle said.

"Maybe I'll just take care of myself." Kate said defiantely.

"Go right ahead. I love watching you get yourself off." Castle said.

"Ugh, I can never win with you." Kate said, grabbing his hand and pulling him in the direction of Victoria's Secret.

"Where are we going?" Castle asked.

"Shopping." Kate replied.

"For what?" Castle asked.

"Lingerie." Kate said with a wicked grin, leaving Castle standing on the sidewalk, jaw hanging open as she made her way into the store.

Revenge is a sweet, sweet thing.

_**Author's Note: Well, there we go, I hope you all enjoyed it. **_

_**Enjoy and Review**_


	110. Chapter 110

Chapter 110:

By the time Castle managed to pull himself together and join her in the store, Kate had a good sized selection of lingerie, most of them being things she would never actually buy, but that wasn't the point, the point was to get payback for Castle's little stunt this morning and hopefully manage to convince him to take her home. These outfits would do just that.

"Are you going to try all those on?" Castle asked, his eyes bugging out of his head when he saw some of her choices.

"Yup." Kate said, pleased that he was already losing control and she hasn't even started yet.

"Can I… uh… come in the dressing room with you and watch you try them on?" Castle asked, looking like a kid who just asked for a puppy.

"How else am I going to know if you like them or not?" Kate purred, her eyes briefly flicking down to his crotch before flicking back up to his eyes, a wicked grin on her face letting him know exactly how she was going to tell if he liked what she was wearing.

"You are going to be the death of me woman." Castle huffed, feeling his blood run south with the look Kate was giving him.

Taking a few steps forward so her breasts were pressed against his chest, the friction doing absolutely nothing to help her situation, she raised herself up on her top toes, bringing her mouth to Castle's ear.

"What's the matter Ricky, can't handle a little… heat?" Kate purred, smirking when Castle shuddered at the sensation of her breath washing over his skin.

"Oh, I can definitely handle it." Castle growled, bringing his hands up to rest on her waist, purposely brushing against her breast in the process as he placed a kiss right behind her ear, eliciting a gasp from her. "The question is, can you?"

When Kate looked up at him, he was expecting her to have that teasing glint to her eyes, the Cheshire grin she usually wore when they were bantering like this. Instead, the look on her face made his jeans tighten considerably. Her eyes were completely dilated, cheeks flushed, mouth slightly parted, breathing shallow. Kate Beckett was aroused, no… Kate Beckett was so far past aroused and it was hot as hell.

Without a second of hesitation, Castle grabbed Kate's hand, dragging her through the store towards the dressing rooms, ignoring the knowing look from the sales clerk as he dragged her to the back of the room into the last changing stall to give them as much privacy as possible.

The second the door was locked, Castle was on her, his lips crashing over hers in a heated frenzy as he pushed her backwards into the wall, all the lingerie falling in an unforgotten heap in the middle of the room as Castle's tongue begged for entrance which Kate quickly granted.

When oxygen became a necessity, Castle broke away before immediately working his way down to her neck, his hands finding their way to the hem of her shirt, quickly pulling it up and off before returning to his work on her neck, one of his hands coming up to play with her breast, dragging a moan Kate had been trying to hold back, free.

Kate knew this had to stop before they went to far and couldn't stop, especially when Castle expertly unclasped her bra, adding it to the pile on the floor before latching onto one of her breasts, but there was one problem, she was having issues forming coherent thoughts when Castle's mouth was doing such magical things to her body.

But as great as it was, she knew she didn't have a choice when Castle began to undo her pants.

"Castle… we need to stop…" Kate hugged, even as her body betrayed her, pressing more firmly into his body, increasing the sensations of his mouth against her breasts.

"You don't seem like you want to stop." Castle said when she let out a gasp, arching into the hand that had found its way down her pants, running through her wet folds.

"Someone's… going… to… hear… us…" Kate panted as Castle began to run short, fast circles over her clit.

"You can be quiet Kate, I know you can." Castle said, inserting two fingers into her, watching as her eyes slipped shit, her bottom lip finding its way between her teeth to suppress the moan. "See, not a single sound."

"Castle…" Kate tried to growl, only to have it come out more like a gasp when he added a third finger, pushing her jeans down to her ankles as he started to pump in and out of her, his other hand coming down to press against her clit.

"Tell me what you want Kate… if you want me to stop, I will, you just have to tell me." Castle said, stilling his fingers inside of her.

"Castle…" Kate whimpered at the lack of movement.

"Tell me to stop, Kate. Do you want me to stop?" Castle asked as he began to move his fingers at an achingly slow pace.

Feeling the tension coiling in her abdomen, she no longer cared where she was, she needed this, she needed him and she needed it now.

"Don't. Stop." Kate growled out through gritted teeth, her back arching when Castle latched on to her breast as he began pumping his fingers as fast as he could, driving her over the edge in seconds.

To Castle's surprise, when he slowed down his movements, Kate whimpered in protest even though she just climaxed.

"Kate?" Castle asked when she tried to move in order to rub herself against his hand.

"I need more Castle." Kate growled, opening her eyes as she reached for his pants and began to unbuckle them.

"More?" Castle choked out, not sure if Kate was suggesting what he thought she was saying.

"Yes. More." Kate said, pulling his pants and boxers to his ankles before helping him step out of them.

"Uh… Kate?" Castle asked, unsure of what was happening.

"What Castle?" Kate growled, unsatisfied with his lack of action.

"When you say more… do you mean/" Castle asked hesitantly.

"I mean I want you. Inside me. Now." Kate growled, pushing him backwards so he was now seated on the bench in the dressing room, watching with awe as Kate straddled him, positioning his fully erect cock at her entrance before sinking onto him so he was buried to the hilt.

"God you feel so damn good." Castle moaned, his hands automatically coming up to rest on her hips as she began to move up and down, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders to get more leverage.

"More Castle…" Kate moaned, sitting back up and bringing her hands to her breasts in a n attempt to increase the sensations coursing through her body.

Knowing that he couldn't give her what she needed in this position, he pulled himself all the way out of her, ignoring her protests.

"Castle… what are you doing?" Kate whimpered, her body humming with arousal as Castle pushed her back a few steps before standing up himself.

"I'm giving you more." Castle said, turning her around and placing her hands on the wall before repositioning himself at her entrance, thrusting into her with one swift movement, his jaw clenched to suppress the moan that wanted to escape at the feeling of being surrounded by her once again.

When Castle knew that she was ready, he snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest as he began to move inside of her, one hand making its way down between her legs to her swollen clit, the other finding one of her breasts, his mouth nipping and sucking at her neck.

"So good, so damn good Castle." Kate moaned.

"Kate… I'm so close… I can't hold on much longer." Castle grunted out, his movements growing more and more sporadic.

"Let go Castle… let go. I'm right there with you." Kate moaned, turning her head to capture his lips as he spilled into her, triggering her own release, both of them doing their best to suppress their moans as their orgasms washed over them.

She wasn't sure how long they stood there, Castle still inside of her, her walls occasionally fluttering with aftershocks, but when Castle finally had the prescence of mind to pull himself out of her, she turned around to see Castle standing there with a big goofy grin on his face.

"What?" Kate asked suspiciously.

"Are you going to have to arrest us now because I'm pretty sure sex in a dressing room breaks all indecent exposure laws." Castle said, his smile growing when she rolled her eyes.

"No Castle, I'm not going to arrest us. Besides, I think there's an exception to the rule when it's really amazing sex." Kate said with a smirk, placing a kiss to his lips before she started to get dressed.

"Hey wait! I thought you were going to put on a show for me?" Castle whined, looking at the discarded pile of lingerie.

"Castle, the only purpose of the lingerie was to get you so turned on you dragged me home and did exactly what you just did to me." Kate said, picking up his jeans and handing them to him to put on.

"So you're not going to try any of these on for me?" Castle pouted as he pulled on his clothes.

"Not today. Now pick those up so we can go get some lunch." Kate said, smirking at the disappointed look on Castle's face.

As they made their way out of the dressing room, instead of putting all the clothes on the rack for the workers to put back, Castle walked straight up to the cashier.

"Hi, can you arrange for these to be boxed up and shipped to this address?" Castle asked the cashier, handing her one of his business cards with his address on them.

"Of course Mr. Castle. Do you have an account with us that I can charge them too?" the cashier asked.

"I don't, but you can just send the bill with the clothes if that's alright?" Castle asked.

"Of course, Mr. Castle." the cashier said.

"Thank you." Castle said with a friendly smile before making his way over to Kate who was watching him with suspicious eyes.

"You just bought all of those outfits, didn't you?" Kate asked.

"Yup." Castle said, knowing there was no reason to deny it, especially since he was planning on having her wear them.

"Why?" Kate asked, taking his hand and pulling him in the direction of the little café on the corner she wanted to go to.

"Because you promised me a show and I'm going to get the show." Castle said with a stupid grin.

"There's nothing I can say or do to get you to return those, can I?" Kate asked.

"Nope. Consider an early birthday present for me. Now let's go get some lunch." Castle said, pulling her into the café and to one of the tables in the back where they could have some privacy.

Just when Castle was about to look up and ask Kate a question, someone appeared at their table and thinking it was the waiter, he looked up with a smile on his face to order only to have it immediately wiped off his face when he saw who it was.

"Hello Kate." The man said, getting Kate's attention.

"Josh?" Kate said, surprise and irritation covering her face.

_**Author's Note: Well here is this chapter. I know you guys were expecting me to go the route where Kate constantly teased Castle and he didn't give in, but let's face it, Castle and Kate have issues controlling themselves around each other when they see each other every day and in this case they haven't seen each other in a week and had all the built up sexual tension. There was no way they were going to survive when things got a little… heated. **_

_**As for Josh… I couldn't help it. I've been reading some season 3 fanfics and he is in a lot of them so I have a lot of built up anger for Josh that I need to work out. Don't worry, it won't be too bad. **_

_**Enjoy and review!**_


	111. Chapter 111

Chapter 111:

"Josh, what do you want?" Kate asked, slipping her hand under the table to take Castle's, the tension that appeared when Josh showed up immediately disappearing at her touch.

"I was getting some lunch when I saw you walk in, figured I would use the opportunity to have that conversation I wanted to have at your apartment a few months ago but couldn't because we were so rudely interrupted, Can I sit?" Josh asked, pointing to an empty chair, sitting down before either one of them even answered him.

"Josh, please leave us alone. I have nothing to say to you." Kate said, her face and voice completely expressionless, the hand squeezing Castle's rather tightly telling an entirely different story.

"Well, I have things I need to say to you. Can you give us some privacy please?" Josh asked, turning to Castle, a smug look on his face like he actually thought Castle would just get up and leave.

"No." Castle said.

"This conversation is between me and Kate. Please leave." Josh said again.

"First of all, it's Kate and I. Second of all, whatever you have to say to Kate, you can say it to me." Castle said, refusing to take his eyes off the doctor.

"That's not your decision." Josh said.

"It's more my decision than yours." Castle said.

"Kate, please tell your boyfriend to give us some privacy." Josh demanded.

"He's not my boyfriend." Kate started, only to be interrupted by Josh.

"See, she just said you're not her boyfriend. I haven't even said anything yet and she's already dumping your pathetic ass for me." Josh said, turning to Castle with a triumphant grin on his face.

"Before you jump to conclusion Motorcycle Boy, you might want to let her finish what she was going to say… or maybe just look at her left hand. Either way works." Castle said, watching as Josh looked at Kate's left hand, his eyes going wide when he saw the ring on her finger.

"What is that?" Josh asked, his voice less confident than it was a second ago.

"I believe they call it an engagement ring. As in I asked her to marry me and she said yes." Castle said, turning to smile at Kate, pleased to see that she had a small smile on too at the thought of getting married.

"But you don't ant to get married. That's why you said no to me." Josh said, looking up at Kate.

"No, I said no to you because I didn't want to marry YOU. Josh, you were nothing more than a rebound and then an excuse to hide from the feelings I had for Castle. it was never you, I just made myself believe you were because I was afraid of how much I wanted Castle. Honestly though, even if he wasn't in the picture, it still wouldn't have been you." Kate said.

"That's a lie and you know it. You didn't date writer boy until after me which makes him the sloppy seconds." Josh said, his temper flaring.

"No Josh, when I met you, I was trying to get over him, trying to get over the fact that I was so madly in love with him and I never stopped loving him, I just made myself think I did. We were done before we even started and we are done right now, it's always been him." Kate said.

"Give me another chance Kate. I'll make it right this time. I know you Kate and you know me. We work together." Josh pleaded.

"Josh we don't work well together, we are too alike. Ying needs Yang, not another Ying. Ying Yang is harmony, Ying Ying is a name for a panda." Kate said, glancing at Castle who was smiling at the memory of the time he told her that in regard to Will Sorenson.

"What?" Josh asked, clearly confused with that analogy.

"What she is trying to say Josh, is that she doesn't want you and never will. You need to move on and stop trying to make something happen that never will because frankly, it's getting kind of pathetic when she has made herself quite clear every time you approach her." Castle said.

"Just stay out of this writer boy, I think I know Kate a lot better than you do." Josh growled.

"Good one." Castle said, chuckling at the implication that Josh knew Kate better than him.

"Why are you laughing?" Josh practically yelled.

"Nothing. That was just a good joke, you knowing Kate better than me." Castle said.

"It wasn't a joke, I know Kate way better than you ever will." Josh said, sending Castle into a fresh wave of laughter.

"God, you're killing me. You should be a comedian." Castle choked out.

"I'll show you how well I know Kate. Her dream was to become a cop which is why she is so dedicated to the force and often stays late, but when she leaves for the night, she leaves the job behind. She hates mixing work with her personal life. Her mom died when she was young and she had a falling out with her dad which is why she rarely sees him. Her favorite food is Chinese, but she would much rather get all dressed up and go out to a fancy restaurant. When she's had a bad day or she's sick, she wants to be alone and do nothing and she absolutely hate Christmas. How's that for knowing someone?" Josh asked, sitting back and crossing his arms, a smug smile on his face.

The fact that Josh knew so little about Kate when he dater her for over a year should have made Castle feel better, but it didn't. this sorry excuse for a man just proved that he didn't even try to get to know Kate which meant Kate had to deal with things she not only didn't like, but she was also alone to deal with things when she needed someone to be there with her and that made Castle angry. Castle never particularly liked Josh, especially when he was gone for months at a time, leaving Kate alone, but he always assumed that when Josh was home, he was treating her right, treating her like she deserved, but now he was finding out that he was wrong.

"What's the matter writer boy? Finally realizing you don't know Kate as well as you thought you did?" Josh asked.

Knowing what he wanted to do, what he needed to do, Castle glanced at Kate who seemed to understand what he wanted, giving him a slight nod, granting him permission.

"Her dream was to become the first female chief justice of the United States. I fact, she was accepted into Stanford where she was studying to get her law degree until her life was flipped upside down. She didn't become a cop because it was her dream, she became a cop because her mom was stabbed and left to die in a filthy alley when she discovered a cover up involving some really powerful people who didn't want their secret to get out. She became a cop because she wanted to get justice for not only her mom, but make sure that other victim's families got the closure she never got. That is why she is dedicated to her job, because she works harder than anyone I know to give the victims a voice. She also doesn't hate mixing work with her personal life, she just told you that because she didn't trust you enough to tell you the truth about what really happened to her mom, she didn't trust you enough to show you her personal murder board of her mother's case that is hung up behind the shutters in her bedroom which meant that you could never understand that for her, work is personal. So, she just made up an excuse so she wouldn't have to talk about it. As for her dad, they had a rough patch after her mother's murder, but now, now they are close as ever. She doesn't introduce her dad to people she kows she isn't planning on keeping around. The funny thing is, even when you were the one dating her, her dad somehow knew I was the one she belonged with because whenever they talked, she would talk about me, not you. he even came to my apartment because he knew I was the most important thing in her life, he knew that I was the only thing she cared about enough to actually listen to. Her favorite flowers aren't roses, but lilies, which were her mom's favorite and also the flowers her mom had at her wedding. She loves coffee, Kate can't function without coffee, but I'm guessing she told you she didn't because she knew that you wouldn't like knowing that the only coffee she will drink is the coffee I bring her, if anyone else makes it for her, it's just not the same. The only other coffee she can tolerate is if she makes it herself or if Esposito or Ryan make it, and the only reason she tolerates it from them is because I taught them how to make her coffee for when I'm not around and can't get a cup delivered when she needs it. Kate Beckett is a huge cuddler, but only if it's with the right person. if it's the wrong person, aka you, she feels suffocated and trapped and starts to panic. While you were right about her enjoying dressing up and going out to a fancy restaurant, she would much rather stay home and eat takeout, cuddled up on the couch watching a movie in ratty old sweats and an old t-shirt. Her favorite food depends on her mood. If she's had a pretty boring day filled with nothing but paperwork or just sitting around playing games, she can go for anything, but usually ends up with pizza, extra pineapple. If she's had a long day, but isn't particularly stressed, she prefers Thai. If she not only had a long day, but is also extremely stressed due the case we've been working on or something going on in her personal life, it's Chinese, but you can't just order one thing, you have to get a variety of options because even though she is too stubborn to ask for it, she won't be satisfied if she doesn't have a little bit of everything. When we get a case that reminds her of her mother's case, it's Italian because that's what her mom would make for her when she was younger and upset. Finally, when she has what we call a hell week, where she just goes, goes, goes, barely getting any sleep, waking up at the crack of dawn and getting home well after midnight, it's a burger, fries, and a strawberry milkshake from Remys. When she has a bad day, she hates being alone because it leaves her with her thoughts which isn't good, so she needs a distraction. She just needs someone there with her because while she hates admitting that she needs someone, she secretly just wants someone to hold her and tell her it will be okay. It's the same thing when she is sick. She will fight you tooth and nail and tell you that she is sick, not invalid, but truthfully, she is glad that she has someone to take care of her for once instead of having to do everything herself like usual. Her perfect sick day is cuddling on the couch, watching Temptation Lane reruns because that's what her and her mom did after she had her tonsils taken out, which you would know if you paid attention and saw the signed cast photo hanging in plain sight and asked her about it like a good boyfriend should have. Anyway, the number one rule of Kate Beckett being sick is never leaving her alone because then she will go stir crazy and get bored and then end up back at work where the captain will send her home frustrating her even more or she will run herself into the ground and end up getting even sicker and will have to stay home even longer than she originally would have had to had she just stayed home in the first place. Finally, there is Christmas. Once again, if you would have simply taken the time to look around her apartment at her pictures, you would clearly see that she loves Christmas and it's her favorite holiday because her mom made it especially special for her which is why she stopped celebrating it after her mom died because it wasn't the same. That was until the Christmas when we recreated the magic she used to experience during the holiday. That is what I would call knowing Kate Beckett and that honestly, doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the extraordinary woman that is Kate Beckett. Now if you'll excuse us, we will find lunch elsewhere." Castle said, standing up and offering his hand to Kate who had also stood up to go, obviously agreeing that she no longer wanted lunch here.

They had barely taken two steps when Josh decided to be the arrogant asshole he was and get the last word.

"Now I know why you're with him. He's the only one who would take your pathetic, messed up ass. No one wants to deal with all that baggage." Josh said with a smug chuckle, thinking he won.

There was very little that could get to Castle. Spending so much time in the spotlight over the years, having the tabloids saying whatever they pleased had thickened Castle's skin so to speak, but when someone hurt someone he loved, he turned into an entirely different person. That's why one second Castle was walking out of the café, side by side with Kate and the next, his fist was connecting with Dr. Motorcycle Boy's face, sending him crashing to the floor.

"I don't care what you say about me, but if you EVER say something like that to her again, I will personally make sure that is the LAST thing you ever say and I've got an entire precinct full of people who will help me hide your body and make sure your case gets buried so deep no one will ever dream of finding it." Castle hissed, his jaw clenched in an attempt to keep himself from punching the doctor again.

"You'll never get away with it." Josh spat.

"Then go ahead and try. I dare you. Someone call him an ambulance." Castle said before grabbing Kate's hand with the hand he didn't punch Josh with and pilled her out of the café.

Castle could feel Kate's eyes on him, but he wasn't going to acknowledge her. He was still seething from that comment and needed to cool down. To make matters worse, he had a searing pain shooting through his hand which probably meant he broke something when he punched Josh.

Thankfully, Kate seemed to sense his need for quiet and kept her comments to herself all the way back to the loft.

After taking the keys from Castle and unlocking the door to the loft, she silently pulled him into the kitchen.

"Sit." Kate said, pointing to a chair at the counter before making her way into the bathroom to get the first aid kit.

Taking Castle's injured hand, she silently went to work cleaning up the small abrasions he received before examining his hand for any broken bones. Deciding he wasn't in need of immediate medical attention, she gently wrapped his hand, bringing back memories of the ambulance after Lockwood and the warehouse, before grabbing an icepack and handing it to him.

"Go sit and put this on your hand. If you can't feel your fingers let me know and I'll call Lanie. I'll make us some lunch so we can get some pain meds in you." Kate said as she began to clean up the medical supplies.

"Kate… I…" Castle said, trying to find the right words for what he wanted to say.

"Hey… don't worry about it and don't you dare apologize. I get it and I'm not mad. If you didn't punch him, I probably would have. but if you really need to talk about it or want to talk about it, we will, just later. Let me make you some lunch and get you some pain meds first, okay?" Kate said, reaching up to cup his cheek, lightly caressing it to let him know it really was okay.

"Okay." Castle said, pressing a kiss to her palm before making his way toward the couch.

"Hey Castle?" Kate called before he disappeared.

"Yeah?" Castle asked, turning around to look at her.

"I love you." Kate said with a gentle smile.

"I love you too." Castle said with his first genuine smile since Josh showed up before sinking into the couch and flipping on the TV.

After watching him for a few minutes, wondering how she got so lucky to have such a wonderful man, she went to work making them turkey, tomato, and mozzarella Panini's with some left over fruit salad and freshly made sweet tea, even though she knew he would probably prefer alcohol, but knowing he was going to take medication that probably wasn't such a good idea.

Bringing their lunch over to the couch, she handed Castle his plate and drink before sitting down at the other end of the couch with her food.

"What are you doing all the way over there?" Castle asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"I just thought you would want some space…" Kate said hesitantly.

"From you? Never. Get over here." Castle said, patting the spot next to him.

Picking up her glass from the table, she moved over to the spot next to her, folding her legs under her, resting her head on Castle's shoulders, a content sigh escaping her lips as she sank into him and continued to eat her lunch.

"How are you doing?" Kate asked when the silence became too much.

"I just can't he would say something like, especially to someone like you, someone he was in a pretty serious relationship with for a long time. I mean I get it, he's bitter because he lost you, I would be too, but to say something like that, that's just unacceptable, I don't care who he is or what he thinks he is entitled to, you don't say something like that. I just…" Castle said before breaking off, just shaking his head.

"You just what?" Kate asked, knowing that he needed to get this out.

"I know it wasn't really a secret that I never particularly liked Josh when you two were together, but that was just mainly jealousy and the fact that he wasn't always around as much as he should have been, but I always assumed that when he was home he was treating you right, like he should have been. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to go over to your place to make sure you were alright after a tough case but didn't because I knew Josh would be there only now I know that he wasn't and you were alone. It makes me sick to think of the things you had to go through alone and on top of that he said what he said today. I just hate that man." Castle growled.

"It's not his fault. I didn't let him in and I never corrected him when he assumed things." Kate said.

"Kate, stop. Don't defend him. You know as well as I do that if he really cared like he should have, he would have taken the time to get to know you properly, to learn what you needed in certain situations and he would definitely think that what has happened makes you pathetic and messed up because it doesn't, it's what makes you extraordinary." Castle said.

"Truthfully Castle, it didn't really bother me that he didn't take the chance to get to know me because I think that I knew deep down, we were never going to last so the fact that we really didn't know each other made it easier to keep that distance I needed. Plus, I knew I had you. I knew that if I needed to, I could call you or go to your place and you would give me what I needed because even though I tried to keep you out, you kept pushing, you kept working to figure me out because you cared about me." Kate said.

"I'll always keep pushing." Castle said.

"I know. I wouldn't have it any other way, even if it annoys me sometimes." Kate said with a goofy grin.

"You do know what he said isn't true right? What's happened to you in the past makes you who you are and that is extraordinary. The only thing he was right about was the fact that you don't deserve any of the guys that show an interest in you, you deserve so much more, you deserve the world." Castle said.

"Castle, for a long time, I let my mom's death and everything that happened because of it hold me back, I saw myself as broken, thought that if someone saw me for who I really was, they would think I was hideous and broken and they would immediately run in the other direction, until I met you. The more you dug and the more you learned, the more nervous I got because I thought it was only a matter of time before you hit the gold mine, before you saw me for what I really was and then just like everyone else you would leave, so I closed myself off to you in hopes that I could protect myself, but that didn't stop you and even when you saw me at my worst you still kept showing up. That's when I realized it didn't matter that I was broken, it didn't matter what happened to me in my past, the reason things didn't work out with any of the other guys I was with, the reason they always left wasn't because I was damaged, it was because my heart knew they weren't the right ones, my heart knew it was waiting for you. I do have the world Castle and it's because of you. You're my world and for the first time in long time you make me feel like my baggage is a good thing, not something that is dragging me down." Kate said, watching as Castle's face broke out into a huge smile.

"You're my whole world too you extraordinary, extraordinary woman. I love you." Castle said.

"I love you too, more than I have ever loved anyone else in my life." Kate said, leaning forward to place a kiss on his lips. Right as they pulled away, there was a knock on the door.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Castle asked Kate.

"Nope, you go get medicine for your hand, I'll get the door." Kate said, standing up to make her way to the door.

"Wait, Kate, what if it's Josh, let me get the door." Castle said.

"Castle if it is Josh, there's not much you can do with your hand. I'll check to see who it is before I open the door." Kate said, pushing him in the direction of the kitchen.

Making her way to the door, she looked through the peep hole, surprised to see Ryan and Esposito standing in the hallway.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" Kate asked as she opened the door.

"Dr. Motorcycle Boy called the precinct in an attempt to press charges against Castle for assault and threatening comments. Gates obviously figured out that Castle usually wasn't the type of person to have violent outbursts in public, so she called us into her office and asked us who Doctor Joshua Davidson was and once we explained that he was your ex who had a hard time letting go, she figured that Castle probably had a good reason for socking him in the face so she sent us over here to investigate knowing that we would remain impartial." Esposito said with a wink.

"I was surprised, I thought she would have jumped at the chance to put Castle in jail for the night." Ryan said with a shrug and goofy grin.

"What about putting me in jail?" Castle asked as he came up behind Kate, wrapping his arms around her waist, resting her head on her shoulder as she took his injured and gently cradled it in her hand, holding the icepack against it for him.

"Josh apparently called the precinct to press charges against you for punching him." Kate said.

"Seriously? He deserved it." Castle said, his jaw clenching.

"I know and so does Gates hence the reason she sent these two knuckleheads here to follow up." Kate said.

"So it's true bro? You finally manned up and gave the doctor what he deserved?" Esposito asked.

"He's lucky the only thing I did was punch him." Castle said as his jaw clenched, his eyes immediately darkening with anger as he unwrapped himself from Kate and made his way over to the couch.

"What's up with him?" Ryan asked as he stepped into the loft followed by Esposito.

"You know how protective he is when it comes to me, what Josh said really got to him and honestly I don't blame him. Just go easy on him when you question him, if you need me to fill in the blanks I will, he's probably going to give you the bare minimum, enough for you to throw this out." Kate said.

"He didn't lay a hand on you, did he?" Esposito said, his brotherly instincts kicking in.

"No, it was just words. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." Kate said, grabbing their dishes from lunch before making her way into the kitchen.

"Hey Castle, how's your hand?" Ryan asked as they sat down, watching Castle adjust the icepack on his hand, wincing occasionally when he jostled his hand too much.

"Killing me, but I just took some pain meds so they should kick in soon. Don't worry, they aren't strong enough to make me loopy." Castle said.

"From the sounds of it, it sounds like it was worth it." Esposito said.

"Definitely." Castle said.

"Alright bro, we know that you don't really want to talk about this, but we need to get a general idea for what happened, you know how this works, so give us what you know we need." Esposito said as he pulled out his notepad to take notes.

"Kate and I decided that we wanted to get some lunch and the café was right there so we decided to go there. We didn't notice that Josh was there so we went in and grabbed a table. Pretty much right after we sat down, Josh came over saying how he needed to talk to Kate, even had the balls to ask me to give them some privacy like he actually thought that I would leave. He then proceeded to make unnecessary comments about our relationship, saying how we wouldn't last. Finally, I pointed out the fact that I proposed to Kate and she said yes and he got all pissed thinking that when Kate said no to him, she meant that she never wanted to get married so Kate had to explain that things never would have worked out between then, that he was nothing more as a place holder while she tried to hide from her feelings for me. By then, Josh was getting desperate and started pleading for her to take him back and then went into a rant about how he knew Kate better than I did and then proceeded to name everything he knew about her, which turned out to be nothing. When I didn't say anything, he called me out, saying that I didn't know anything about Kate like I thought I did. After getting permission from Kate, I then proceeded to basically give Kate's life story, everything that happened with her mom and dad, what her favorite things were, what she likes to do when she has had a rough day or is sick, basically everything he said that was wrong I simply corrected and then when I was done I said we were leaving. We took two steps before he decided to make an very offensive comment in regards to Kate so I punched him in the face and told him if he ever said anything like that again, I would use my resources with the police to make sure he never bothered us again. He deserved to get punched, and I never once threatened his life, if he took it that way, it was his own fault." Castle said.

"What were the remarks he made in reference to Kate?" Ryan asked.

"That's not important. I'm not repeating them, but you know me guys, and you know that it takes a lot to get me to snap so you know that what happened to him was well deserved." Castle said.

"Alright bro, well to me it sounds like everything that happened was warranted so we will make sure this goes away. Hey, if you two are up for it, we are meeting at the Old Haunt for drinks after work, you should stop by if you're up for it." Esposito said.

"Yeah, we will see if we can make it." Castle said.

With a nod, Esposito and Ryan made there way towards the kitchen where Kate was sitting at the counter, looking through a magazine.

"I've never seen him like this." Ryan said, glancing back at Castle who had resumed watching TV, an emotionless expression on his face.

"Yeah, bro is kind of freaking me out." Esposito said.

"Besides today, I've only seen him like that twice." Kate said, looking at her fiancé.

"When?" Ryan asked.

"That time we had Simmons in interrogation and when he punched out Lockwood. Like I said, when it comes to me, when it comes to anyone he cares about, he is overly protective." Kate said.

"So what exactly did Josh say that got him like this?" Esposito asked, knowing that Kate would clue them in.

"He said he realized that the reason I was with Castle was because he was the only one who would take someone as pathetic and messed up as me, that nobody else in their right mind would want me with all the baggage I have." Kate said.

"Now I get why Castle is so upset." Ryan said, his jaw clenched.

"You know he was wrong, right chica?" Esposito asked.

"Don't worry guys, that wonderful man over there made sure I knew that I knew that and I do, for the first time in a long time, I know that everything that happened to me in the past made me stronger. Honestly, I think what upset me more than what Josh said, was the fact that what Josh said upset Castle so much. He just needs a distraction to take his mind off it and as long as we don't see Josh again, he will be good." Kate said.

"Well, we are heading to the Old Haunt after work, we will shoot you a text when we are leaving, I'm sure if you can get writer boy to make an appearance we can keep his minds of things and get him to relax." Esposito said.

"Thanks guy. I think I might take you up on that offer depending on how his hand feels." Kate said.

"Alright, well we've got to get back to the precinct. Go make your man feel better." Esposito said with a smirk.

"I don't think there is much I can do." Kate said.

"Chica, you're crazy. That man lights up like a light bulb whenever you walk in the room. You could probably make him feel better by just sitting there with him." Esposito said with a wink before Ryan and him disappeared out the door leaving them alone once again.

Making her way back into the living room, she watched Castle momentarily before making a decision.

"Stand up." Kate said as she walked over to stand in front of him.

"What?" Castle asked, confused.

'Stand up." Kate repeated.

"Why?" Castle asked.

"Just do it." Kate said.

Deciding it was best not to argue, Castle stood up, watching Kate skeptically.

"Now what?" Castle asked.

He had barely gotten the words out before Kate had her arms wrapped around his waist, her face buried in his chest.

Castle stood there, frozen for a second before he tentatively wrapped his arms around Kate, pulling her tighter into his body, burying his face in her hair, his entire body relaxing when he inhaled her scent.

They didn't talk, they didn't move, they just stood there wrapped up in each other's arms and with each passing moment, all the tension and anger Castle had felt throughout the day slowly faded away until he felt totally relaxed.

Pulling back, he brushed a piece of hair out of Kate's face before leaning down to press a kiss to her lips.

"Thank you." Castle sighed, the relief evident in his voice.

"Always Castle, Always." Kate said.

_**Author's Note: I know this is long, but I got a little carried away with my Josh rant. Let me know what you think and tell me what you would prefer, a night of dinner and dancing, or a night just hanging out and chilling with the gang. **_

_**Enjoy and Review**_


	112. Chapter 112

Chapter 112:

"We should set a date for the wedding." Kate said, breaking the silence that had settled around them.

After deciding that they would much rather hang out with the gang at the Old Haunt instead of going through all the effort to get all dressed up, they settled in to watch a movie while they waited for a text letting them know the boys were done working.

Thankfully, the movie they were watching was a movie Kate had seen before, allowing her thoughts to wander. More specifically, it allowed her thoughts to wander to the man currently lying in her lap, a position that he had grown to love because Kate would automatically start to run her fingers through his hair which he apparently found extremely comforting and relaxing.

As Kate watched Castle smile and laugh at the movie, completely relaxed, she couldn't help the smile that overtook her face at the feeling of overwhelming love that washed over her. When she got over the initial honeymoon stage of her engagement, she decided that she just wanted to enjoy it for awhile, she didn't want to immediately dive right into the stress of planning a wedding so she didn't and she knew it didn't bother Castle, she knew that he knew she would marry him, she was a one and done kind of girl meaning she wouldn't have said yes if she wasn't absolutely positive he was her one, but she had to do it at her own pace and Castle understood that.

But now, thinking about everything that he did for her today, thinking about everything he's done for her in the past, she couldn't think of a reason why she wanted to wait anymore and that was that, she wanted to start planning her wedding to the man she loves.

"What?" Castle asked, turning to look at her.

"I think we should pick a date for the wedding. I love you, I have no doubt that you are my one and done and god Castle, I don't want to wait anymore, I just want to start planning our wedding." Kate said.

Castle just laid there, watching her for a few seconds before he broke out into a huge smile.

"Okay, KB, when do you want to get married?" Castle asked.

"Well this spring is way too early. I don't want to turn into bridezilla because I'm overly stressed with work and trying to get a wedding put together in an extremely short amount of time and I don't think we should do it this summer because Ryan and Jenny are getting married and I don't want to take anything away from their wedding, but other than that, I have no idea, I've never done this before and I wasn't lying when I said I've never been one of those girls who think about their dream wedding. What do you think?" Kate asked, looking at Castle who had that look on his face that he got when he was coming up with a theory.

"Based on what I think would be your perfect wedding, I think we should aim for next spring. I know Alexis will have the last week of April off and the first week of May so maybe we can have the wedding the weekend after she gets home so she can feel included with last minute things and then we can spend the last three weeks of May on our honeymoon after she heads back to college." Castle said.

"You think you know what my perfect wedding is?" Kate asked, an eyebrow quirked in amusement.

"I think I have a pretty good idea." Castle said with a shrug.

"How can you know what my perfect wedding is when I don't even know what my perfect wedding is?" Kate asked.

"Because I know you." Castle said.

"You really think you know me that well?" Kate asked, unsure if Castle was serious or not.

"I do." Castle said, no signs of a joke on his face.

"Alright Mr. Hot-Shot, what is my perfect wedding?" Kate asked, watching as Castle's face lit up like it did when he was about to tell a story.

"You would want it to be simple, small and intimate with just those who are closest to us. I'm thinking you, me, mother, Alexis, your dad, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, Jenny, Gates, her husband, the mayor and his wife, and the Montgomery's. No press, no publishers, nothing to do with publicity, it's nobody's business but our own. You wouldn't mind getting married in a church, but I think you would enjoy a more informal setting which is why I was thinking the beach house in the Hamptons, which has beautiful weather during the spring of course, we would have an empty chair in memory of your mom and an empty chair in memory of Montgomery because I know that you would give anything to have them there and I think it is important to have something in remembrance of them their at our wedding. As far as after, I don't think we need some big fancy reception, I was thinking about simply having a cook out, just being there with our family, grilling on the beach, nothing fancy. That is what I think your perfect wedding would be, well actually I think we would both prefer to just go to the court house and get married, but I think our families would kill us so we will have to give them something, but it will just be simple, yet extraordinary like you." Castle said, looking up at Kate to see that she had tears rolling down her face.

"I will never understand how you know me so well and always know the right thing to say." Kate said, cupping his jaw and lightly caressing his cheek with her thumb.

"Does that mean you like it?" Castle asked.

"It was beyond perfect. Like I said, I will never understand how you know me so well because you just described the perfect wedding for me and I didn't even know what kind of wedding I wanted. But the question is, is that what you want?" Kate asked.

"The only thing I want is you. As long as you're up there with me, that's all that matters to me. So what our wedding is like is up to you. If you're happy, I'm happy." Castle said.

"I think that everything you just described is more than perfect and I just want you too. Like you said, if our friends and family wouldn't kill us, I would take you to the court house right now. So let's do it, the last week of April." Kate said, excitement bubbling inside of her.

"It's a date." Castle said, leaning up to capture her lips with his in a passionate kiss. They were getting married.

"Darlings, I'm home! Is everyone decent?" Martha called from the entryway.

"Yes mother." Castle called, breaking the kiss and plopping back onto Kate's lap.

"Hey kiddos. What's got you two so happy?" Martha asked with her usual curious instincts.

"We set a date for the wedding." Castle said, his grin growing as he sat up.

"That's fabulous! When's the big day?" Martha asked.

"The end of April next year. We don't know the exact dates yet." Kate said.

"Delightful! We must get started on the planning right away, there is so much to do! Oh, but first we have to celebrate!" Martha exclaimed, disappearing into the kitchen rattling on and on about everything they had to do.

When Kate turned to him with wide, panicked eyes, he almost laughed, knowing that Kate has never experienced his mother when it comes to planning big events, but he also knew that in this case, his mother would do nothing but overwhelm Kate and that wasn't a good thing so he had to stop Hurricane Martha before she got the chance to get started.

"Mother, as much as we would love your help, we already have everything figured out except Kate's dress." Castle said, standing up and following his mother into the kitchen, Kate following close behind.

"Oh really? And how do you know everything that is involved in planning a wedding when you weren't involved in planning the last two?" Martha asked.

"Mother, just trust me. This wedding isn't like the other weddings, this one I actually matters because it's going to be my last. Plus it isn't going to be anything like the other weddings I've had, it's going to be small and simple. We already have everything figured out." Castle said.

"Location?" Martha asked, her eyebrows raised in a challenge, ready to prove that her son had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"Are we really going to this?" Castle sighed, running his good hand through his hair in annoyance.

Martha just gave him a look that dared him to argue with her.

"The beach house in the Hamptons." Castle said.

"Guests?" Martha asked.

"You, Alexis, Jim, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, Jenny, Gates, her husband, the Mayor, his wife, and the Montgomerys if they want to come." Castle said.

"Flowers?" Martha asked.

"Lilies." Castle said.

"Cake?" Martha asked.

"No cake." Castle said.

"That won't do. You have to have a cake. Don't worry dear, I'll get everything together for you, you don't have to worry about a thing." Martha said.

"Mother, this isn't about you, this is about Kate and I. It's our wedding and we are going to have it how we want it. Honestly, we would both just rather go the court house and get married because this isn't about the actual wedding for us, it's simply about us being together for the rest of our lives, but we know that you would all kill us if we did that so we are doing something small. We are going to have a simple ceremony and then hang out, grill up some food, and relax and enjoy the company. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less and you don't have to like it, but you do need to respect it and we are kindly asking you to let us handle this on our own. If we need your help we will ask for it, okay?" Castle asked.

"Fine, fine, fine, no need to throw a hissy fit. Now let's break out the champagne and celebrate!" Martha exclaimed.

"Actually mother." Castle said, looking down at his phone to see that he had a text from Ryan saying they were heading to the Old Haunt. "We have plans to meet the gang for drinks, but we will have a celebratory dinner tomorrow night, maybe we can invite Jim."

"That sounds like a delightful idea." Martha said as she followed them to the door.

After slipping into his coat, he helped Kate into hers and Martha's attention was immediately drawn to Castle's bandaged hand for the first time that night.

"Richard, what happened to your hand?" Martha asked.

"Oh, I was defending Kate's honor." Castle said.

Martha, obviously not believing him, turned to Kate hoping to get the story on what stupid, idiotic thing he did this time.

"He's actually telling that truth this time Martha. We went out for lunch and ran into an ex." Kate said.

"Richard, I know you have some jealousy issues when it comes to Kate, but you can't go around punching her exes for no reason." Martha scolded.

"Mother, there was a reason, trust me. Now drop it. We have to go." Castle said, opening the door and making his way down the hallway, trying to cool off, knowing that Kate would explain things to his mother to make her understand.

"Sorry about that Martha. My ex said some things about me that Rick takes very seriously and it kind of got to him and he doesn't really want to talk about it, but I assure you he was completely justified in his actions. If Rick hadn't punched him, I would have." Kate said.

"Okay, well if you think he was justified then I believe him. Is he going to be alright?" Martha asked.

"Yeah, I think his hand is just going to be sore for a couple weeks, but I'll have Lanie look at it tonight just to make sure and if anything appears to be seriously wrong with it, I'll take him to the doctor." Kate said.

"Okay, well don't let me keep you. Have a good night." Martha said.

"You too." Kate said before making her way out the loft and making her way down the hall to Castle who was holding the elevator for her.

"What?" Castle asked, noticing that Kate was giving him "the look".

"You could have been nicer to your mother, she was just concerned about you." Kate said.

"I know and I'll apologize to her later, I just, I want to forget about what happened today, but that's really hard when everyone keeps asking me what happened and then continues to push when I obviously don't want to talk about it." Castle said, his jaw clenched in anger.

"It really bothers you, doesn't it?" Kate said, watching him curiously.

"So fucking much. I know I should probably just let it go, I know he was just trying to get to me, but for him to say something that so blatantly tears you down, says something that attacks the very core of who you are, of what makes you extraordinary, I can't just ignore that, so yeah it bothers me. Doesn't it bother you?" Castle asked.

"Honestly, what he actually said doesn't bother me at all because thanks to you, I know that they aren't true, you've helped me believe that everything that has happened in my past has made me extraordinary rather than damaged. I think the fact that he said it bothers me more than what he said. Like you, I thought he was a good guy, I never would have thought that he would say something like that even if our relationship was rocky for a long time, but I think what bothers me the most about the whole thing is how much its bothering you. I hate to see you like this, so upset, and its his fault." Kate said.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Castle said, slightly ashamed that his inability to let it go was bothering Kate.

"Hey, no. You have every right to be upset and I don't want you to apologize for that. If anyone needs to apologize, it's me. I should have just let him say what he had to say the first time he tried and gotten him out of our lives forever. But let's try and forget about it for at least tonight and just have a good time okay?" Kate said.

"Okay, I think I could do that." Castle said, taking her hand as they fell into a comfortable silence.

"Hey Castle?" Kate said.

"Yeah?" Castle asked.

"Thanks." Kate said, gently squeezing his hand.

"For what?" Castle asked.

"Defending my honor." Kate said, a grin appearing on her face.

"Always." Castle said with a huge, crooked grin.

_**Author's Note: Well what do you know, Castle and Beckett not only have a date for their wedding, but they have it all planned… sorta. Haha. **_

_**Hope you enjoyed this chapter and the next chapter we will see them hanging out with the gang at the old haunt. Anything you would like to see in that chapter?**_

_**Enjoy and review!**_


	113. Chapter 113

Chapter 113:

A little over a half an hour later, Castle and Beckett made their way into the Old Haunt which was buzzing with the after work crowd, including Lanie, Esposito, Jenny, and Ryan who were already seated at their usual table, working on what looked like their second drink, laughing at something Lanie was saying.

"You know, while I'm glad you guys are taking full advantage of your free drink privileges, the least you could do is get the owner and his fiancé a drink seeing as how said owner is the reason you get free drinks in the first place." Castle said as they approached the table.

"Sorry bro, we had a long day and needed a drink. We had to run all over town because this crazy writer decided to go all Hulk Hogan on this pretty boy doctor." Esposito said, taking a swig of his beer.

"Then we had to deal with the pretty boy doctor who was not pleased when he found out there would be no charges brought against this writer." Ryan added.

"Besides, we texted you like forty five minutes ago and you live like ten minutes away, we got tired of waiting for you." Esposito continued.

"Yeah, we got held up by Hurricane Martha." Castle said.

"Castle!" Kate hissed, slapping him in the stomach.

"What? Don't deny that it fits, I saw it in your eyes when she went off on her tangent." Castle said with a sheepish shrug.

"Yeah, but at least I didn't say it out loud." Kate said as she sat down in the booth.

Castle went to follow but was stopped by Lanie.

"Nuh uh writer boy, you get your ass over here and sit down so I can take a look at your hand. Javi, go get them some drinks." Lanie said, pushing the detective out of the booth.

"Why do I have to get them drinks? Beckett has two perfectly good legs and so does Ryan." Esposito complained.

Lanie just gave him a glare that could make the hardest of men crumble to her mercy.

"Fine." Esposito grumbled, standing up and making his way to the bar.

"Come on writer boy, have a seat." Lanie said, patting the spot that Esposito had just vacated.

"Uh, are you sure you know what you're doing… I mean you do usually work on dead bodies." Castle said, hesitating to sit down next to the ME. After all, he kind of needs his hands to make a living.

"I work on dead bodies by choice, not because I don't know how to work on live ones. Besides, I did just fine last week when you got punched in the face, right?" Lanie asked.

"Yes." Castle said.

"Exactly. So sit you're ass down and give me your hand." Lanie said, leveling him with the same glare he gave Esposito.

"Fine, but you better be careful, Kate loves what I do with my hands." Castle said with a smirk.

"Oh my god, Castle!" Kate said, her face turning bright red.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of Detective, everyone here knows how much you love my work, I tell them all the time how excited you get and how you can never get enough." Castle said, his smirk growing.

Kate just sat there, her jaw clenched, anger flashing in her eyes.

"What are we talking about?" Esposito asked as he came back to the table with Castle and Beckett's drinks.

"How much Kate loves my books." Castle said, taking a sip of his beer with as much nonchalance as he could muster while the rest of the group broke out into laughter at the look on Kate's face.

"I hate you." Kate grumbled, even as the corners of her mouth quirked up in a smirk.

"Don't blame me for your dirty, dirty mind." Castle said with a smirk.

"Alright writer boy, the good news, your hand isn't broken, the bad news, it's going to be sore for awhile so try to use it as little as possible for the next couple weeks." Lanie said as she finished rewrapping it.

"Sorry Kate." Castle said with a wink, successfully causing another wave of laughter as he moved to the other side of the table, ignoring Kate's glare as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

"So Rick, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your hand?" Jenny asked once the laughter died down, her eyes going wide once she saw Esposito and Ryan shaking their heads no, knowing that Castle didn't want to talk about it.

"It's okay guys. Kate and I went out to lunch and her ex showed up and he said some thing that crossed the line so I punched him." Castle said with a shrug, smiling when he felt Kate squeeze his leg, offering him a warm smile.

"Oh, so you're the crazy writer that punched the pretty boy doctor?" Jenny asked.

"Yeah, that's me, thought I don't think I'm necessarily crazy." Castle defended, even as he broke out in a smile.

"Castle, do you hear the theories that come out your mouth?" Lanie asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Hey, my theories are genius and perfectly plausible. Besides, Kate loves my theories and that's all that matters." Castle said.

"Bro, the only reason Beckett loves your theories is because she loves you." Esposito said.

"That's not true. That's not true, right?" Castle asked, turning to look at Kate with his best puppy dog eyes.

"Sorry babe." Kate said, patting him on the cheek.

"Just for that, I'm basing my next book on Gates." Castle said.

"Yeah, cause that won't get you kicked out." Kate said.

"She won't kick me out. Gates loves me, she just has a funny way of showing it." Castle said in his defense.

"Castle, you're not helping your whole 'I'm not crazy' argument." Ryan said.

"I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that. Okay, what if Gates is like Beckett. She pretended to hate me the entire first year of our partnership, but we all know she was totally in love with me." Castle said.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, bro." Esposito said, mockingly patting Castle's shoulder.

"Okay, did someone forget to tell me that today was pick on Castle day?" Castle asked, glaring at the entire group.

"Writer boy, you should know that every day is pick on Castle day." Lanie said.

"You still love me, right?" Castle asked Kate.

"Nah, I'm just using you for your money. After we get married, I'm going to lock you up in a psych ward and take you for everything you're worth." Kate said with a shrug.

"And to think I thought you wanted me for my body." Castle said.

"That too." Kate said with a smirk.

"The truth finally comes out." Castle said, clutching his heart as he pretended to die in a very dramatic fashion.

"I think your mother would be proud of that performance, Castle." Ryan said.

"Speaking of your Martha, you two never told us what happened earlier with her." Lanie said.

"Oh, well, she kind of came home right after Kate and I made a pretty big decision and when she wouldn't let it go, we had to tell her what we were discussing and she kind of made some assumptions and Hurricane Martha made an appearance before we cleared some things up." Castle said.

"And what was the topic of discussion?" Lanie asked Kate.

"We, uh, set a date for the wedding." Kate said, failing miserably to contain the smile the broke out on her face when she looked over at Castle who was grinning from ear to ear, glad that Kate decided not to keep this from their friends.

"Oh my god, we have been sitting here for an hour and you're just now telling me this? I should kill you!" Lanie squealed as Kate rolled her eyes.

"When's the big day?" Jenny asked.

"Well, I guess we don't technically know the exact date, we haven't exactly looked at a calendar, but it's going to be next year at the end of April." Kate said.

"Well, congratulations." Jenny said, raising her glass in a toast, the rest following suit.

"To Caskett!" Ryan said, as they all clinked glasses and downed their glasses.

"Wait a minute, did you just say Caskett?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, we came up with it during that case with the soap opera." Esposito said with a shrug.

"I kind of like it, cause of the whole death thing, ya know." Castle said.

"I'm marrying a man child." Kate said, rolling her eyes.

"A ruggedly handsome man child." Castle corrected.

"So have you thought about what kind of wedding you want?" Jenny asked.

"Uh, we actually already have it all planned." Kate said, looking at Castle with a tender smile.

"Wait a minute, Mr. Twice Divorced and Mrs. I've never opened a bridal magazine in my life already have their wedding planned?" Lanie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You sound like my mother." Castle grumbled.

"And to answer your question, yes we already have our wedding planned." Kate said.

"How?" Lanie asked.

"Castle knows me." Kate said with a smile, leaning over to press a brief kiss to Castle's lips, Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie smiling, knowing exactly what she meant.

"What do you mean?" Jenny asked, slightly confused since she didn't really hang out with the group which meant that she didn't know the kind of dynamic Castle and Beckett had.

"Basically, writer boy here knows my girl so well, that he usually knows what she wants or needs before she does. I'm guessing in this case, Castle had a pretty good idea what her perfect wedding would be before Kate even knew since she's never thought about her wedding." Lanie said.

"Seriously?" Jenny asked, looking back at Castle and Beckett.

"It took me a long time to admit it, but Lanie's right. I'll never understand it, but Castle has a way of saying and doing the right thing when most of the time I don't even know that's what I needed." Kate said.

"Wow." Jenny said.

"I know." Kate said giving Castle another kiss before she turned back to the group to see Esposito and Ryan staring at them with completely serious faces.

"Here comes the threatening." Castle whispered in Kate's ear, causing her to laugh as he sat back and folded his hands. "Okay guys, lay it on me."

"Castle man, we like you." Esposito said.

"But Beckett is like a sister to us." Ryan continued.

"And you know what happens when someone hurts our sister?" Esposito asked.

"We make them regret it." Ryan added.

"We're cops. We have connections." Esposito said.

"We know how to kill you and make it look like an accident." Ryan said.

"No one will ever find your body." Esposito said.

"And we will make sure your case gets buried." Ryan said.

"Do we make ourselves clear?" Esposito asked.

"Crystal clear gentleman, but you have nothing to worry about, I will never purposely hurt Kate, but if I did, I would welcome you guys with open arms because I can't live without her." Castle said, receiving a nod from both men.

Thinking they were done, Castle began to suggest they go play a game of pool, but that was until Esposito and Ryan turned towards Beckett with the same serious expression on their face.

"Beckett, we like you." Ryan started.

"You're like a sister to us." Esposito said.

"And we'll always have your back." Ryan added.

"But Castle is our bro." Esposito said.

"He's one of us now." Ryan continued.

"He's a good guy." Esposito said.

"He would do anything for any one of us, especially you." Ryan added.

"And we would do anything for him." Esposito confirmed.

"If you hurt him, you'll have us to worry about." Ryan said.

"We have connections, we'll make sure you disappear." Esposito said.

"No one will ever find your body, and no one will ever find your case." Ryan said.

"If they do, we'll make sure your death looks like an accident and I'm sure Lanie will help us." Esposito said.

"Do we make ourselves clear?" Ryan asked.

"Uh, yeah." Kate said, slightly unnerved seeing as how she's never been on the receiving end of one of Esposito and Ryan's threats before.

"Good." Ryan said.

"Now that we have that settled, who wants to play some pool?" Esposito asked.

"I'm in." Ryan said.

"I'm not very good, but I can give it a try." Jenny said.

"Don't worry honey, we'll distract them with our assets." Lanie said as they all got up and made their way over to an open table, leaving Castle and Beckett alone at the table.

"So, how's it feel to be on the receiving end of Esposito and Ryan's threats?" Castle asked with a smirk.

"It's a bit nerve wracking." Kate said.

"Now you know how I feel and I'm pretty sure they threaten me on a monthly basis." Castle said, causing Kate to chuckle.

"You should feel special you know." Kate said.

"Oh yeah, whys that?" Castle asked.

"Esposito and Ryan have never liked any of the guys I've been with enough to threaten me with bodily harm." Kate said.

"I feel honored." Castle said, leaning in to capture her lips rather passionately.

"So, Mr. Castle what do you say we go over there and show Esposito and Ryan who the real pool players are?" Kate asked.

"I think that sounds perfect, we have to make sure their ego's stay in check." Castle said with a grin as he stood up and took Kate's hand and pulling her over to the pool table.

"Gentleman, what do you say we make this interesting?" Kate asked with a wicked grin.

_**Author's Note: I have to say, I think this is one of my favorite chapters. Don't worry, we will see some more fun at the Old Haunt, I know you guys wanted some sexy fun and who am I to deny you what you want. **_

_**Enjoy and Review!**_

_**P.S. One of my friends recently got a boat and he wants to give it a Castle related name, but we have yet to find one that feels right. So far I think it is between 12**__**th**__** Precinct and The Old Haunt, but we need more ideas, so put on those thinking caps and see what you can come up with!**_


	114. Chapter 114

Chapter 114:

To say that Castle and Beckett kicked Ryan and Esposito's ass was a huge understatement. In three out of the five games they played, Esposito and Ryan didn't even get the chance to take their turn because Castle and Beckett managed to clear the table on their first try, which Esposito and Ryan didn't find nearly as amusing as Castle and Beckett.

After the fifth game, Castle and Beckett made their way back to their table where Castle spread himself out along the length of the cushioned booth, pulling Kate back toward him so she was resting against his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist, hands resting, fingers tangled with hers, on her stomach, watching Ryan and Esposito play a much more even matched game of pool.

"Don't you two look awfully cozy." Lanie said with a smirk as she slid into the booth across from them, followed by Jenny.

"Shut up. You're just jealous that my man likes to cuddle with me and doesn't expect anything more." Kate said, tilting her head up to place a kiss on the underside of Castle's jaw, smiling when she felt his arms tighten around her as he placed a kiss to her forehead, a smile on his face.

"Seriously? Kevin is like the sweetest guy even and ever HE expects something if we cuddle." Jenny said, looking at Castle who just shrugged.

"For a long time, I was convinced that I would never get the chance to call her mine, but now that I do, now that I got the chance, I love doing everything and anything with her, even if it as simple as holding her, because like I said, for a while I was convinced I would never get to do even that." Castle said, his hold unconsciously tightening on her like he never wanted to let her go.

"That's so sweet! How did you deny him for so long?" Jenny gushed.

"I honestly have no idea anymore. I thought at the time I had good reasons, but now, they just seem stupid." Kate said, knowing that Lanie was rolling her eyes since she told Kate plenty of times that her reasons for denying Castle were stupid and she should just jump him while they were both young.

"I don't know how she resisted me for so long either, I mean look at me, I'm so ruggedly handsome." Castle said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, a crooked smile on his face, as he looked down at Kate, successfully getting a smile to appear on her face.

"You're modest too." Kate said with a teasing smile.

"I do my best." Castle said with a shrug.

"As cute as this is, it's time to get down to business. We need details on this wedding of yours." Lanie said.

"Ah, girls talk. I know enough about women to know this is my cue to leave." Castle said, expecting Kate to get up to let him out of the booth.

"Nope." Kate said, tightening her hold on his arms that were wrapped around her, snuggling deeper into his chest.

"No?" Castle asked, slightly confused.

"I'm comfortable just like this, therefore you are just going to have to suffer through girls talk." Kate said. The truth was, even though they've spent pretty much every second of the last two days together, she still wasn't ready to let him go, even if he was just walking five feet away.

"Well I suppose if you're comfortable, I can suffer through some girl talk." Castle said with a teasing tone to his voice, even though Kate could tell by the look in his eyes that he understood exactly why she didn't want him to go.

"Are you two always going to be this disgustingly sweet?" Lanie asked, looking at the couple before them that acted like they just started dating even though their one year anniversary was coming up in a few months.

"Yes." Castle and Beckett said at the same time, grinning at each other as Lanie rolled her eyes.

"Great. So anyway, tell us about this perfect wedding of yours." Lanie said, slightly skeptical that these two could have planned a wedding just like that when one of them has never been married before and hasn't looked at anything wedding related in her entire life and the other one has been married and divorced twice and she is pretty sure in both instances, he was not involved in the planning and was probably just told when to show up and where.

"Okay, well what do you want to know?" Kate asked.

"Everything." Jenny said, the 'duh' clear in her voice.

"Castle will take this one. He's the one who came up with everything and I love it when he tells me stories." Kate said with a giggle.

"I think she's a little drunk." Castle said, winking at Lanie and Jenny.

"Shut up. I'm just a little tipsy." Kate said.

"Okay, if you insist. Anyway, like we said earlier, we are going to have the wedding at the end of next year, April at my beach house in the Hamptons. We are just going to have a small ceremony, both our families, you four, Gates and her husband, the Mayor and his wife, and then the Montgomerys if they want to come. The flowers will be lilies, for obvious reasons, and we are going to have two empty chairs in memory of Kate's mom and Captain Montgomery. Afterwards, we aren't going to do any kind of reception or anything like that, we are just going to relax on the beach and grill up some food, nothing fancy." Castle said.

After Castle finished, Lanie turned her attention to Kate, narrowing her eyes and searching her best friend's face as she tried to obviously figure something out.

"Just spit it out Lanie." Kate said.

"The ceremony seems beautiful, it seems like you, but no reception? This is your only wedding girl, you're the one and done type, you're not going to do this again and at your one wedding your not going to have a reception? I mean I know that you were never the type to think about your wedding, but you're a romantic at heart, I always assumed you would want the whole experience, everything that went along with a wedding." Lanie said.

"I'm a hundred percent sure. The wedding doesn't matter to me, what matters to me is the man that I'm marrying. We both agreed that if we had it our way, we would just go to the court house because all we want is to start the rest of our lives together, but we know that everyone would probably kill us if we didn't have some sort of ceremony and what Castle just described is the perfect wedding for that." Kate said.

"And writer boy here isn't forcing you into this small wedding because he has some aversion to weddings from his last two?" Lanie asked, everyone turning towards Jenny who had started cracking up.

"Oh come on. That question was completely unnecessary. First of all, I'm pretty sure Rick can't make Kate do anything, no offense Rick." Jenny said.

"None taken." Castle said.

"Good. Second of all, a complete stranger could see that Rick would give Kate anything her heart desires, no matter the price. I have no doubt in my mind that if Kate wanted a huge wedding, a wedding that rivaled the royal wedding, Rick would find a way to get it for her." Jenny said.

"She's got a point there, Lanie." Kate said, watching as the ME narrowed her eyes, going back and forth between her and Castle.

"Fine. If that is what you really want, then I support you. As for the Hamptons, I'm assuming that you are going to have people come down early, do you have enough rooms for everyone?" Lanie asked.

"There are five rooms on the second floor of the beach house and my bedroom is on the first floor. We will put you and Esposito, Jenny and Ryan, Mother, Jim, and Alexis in the upstairs bedrooms, Kate and I will stay downstairs, and then I'll get rooms at a hotel for the Montgomerys, Gates and her husband, and the Mayor and his wife." Castle said.

"And what are you going to do the night before the wedding?" Lanie asked.

"What do you mean?" Castle asked.

"Everyone knows it's tradition for the bride and groom to sleep separately the night before the wedding. If all the rooms are taken, how is that possible?" Lanie asked.

"It's possible because we aren't doing that." Kate said, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"We aren't?" Castle asked, rather surprised.

"Nope. We both know that neither of us can sleep when we are apart and I'm pretty sure neither of us wants bags under our eyes on our wedding night and besides, I don't believe in any of that superstitious stuff. I know that you are my one and done and I have no doubts that we are going to be together forever. If I didn't think that you would be completely bored out of your mind, I would even take you dress shopping." Kate said.

"Are you two planning on doing anything normally?" Lanie asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Please Lanie, when have Castle and I ever done things the normal way?" Kate asked with a smirk.

"Ugh, will you at least let me take you to a strip club for your bachelorette party?" Lanie asked.

Kate knew instantly from the way Castle tensed behind her that he was less than pleased with the idea of her going to a strip club and if she were being completely honest, if it were Esposito and Ryan saying they were going to take Castle to a strip club, she would probably react the same way.

"No strip club Lanie. Sorry." Kate said, smiling internally when she felt Castle relax behind her.

"Seriously? It's your last night of freedom, your last night to enjoy the single life before you get hitched." Lanie said, looking at Kate like she grew two heads.

"There's just something wrong about having another man grinding on you, practically naked, the night before your wedding. It's not like I'm going to jail, I don't need to celebrate my last night of freedom, because I'm not losing my freedom. I want to get married and it's not scary for me, I don't need one last hoorah. If I wanted to see a man strip for me, it's going to be Castle and no one else." Kate said.

"Kate Beckett in love is no fun." Lanie grumbled as she stood up from the booth and made her way over to Esposito and Ryan, followed by Jenny as Castle and Beckett laughed at her disappointment in the booth.

"Kate, you know if you really want that kind of bachelorette party, you can right?" Castle asked.

"I know. But I thought about how uncomfortable I would be if I knew you were at a strip club to celebrate us getting married and I'm guessing you would be just as uncomfortable. Besides I wasn't lying when I said the only man I want to see strip is you." Kate said.

"Oh really?" Castle growled in her ear before placing a kiss in the spot right behind her ear that he knew drove her crazy before making his way down to her neck, placing open mouthed kisses along it as his pinky dipped below the waistline of her pants, sending a shudder through her body as she bit her lip to suppress the moan that wanted to break free.

"Let's go." Kate said, suddenly standing up and getting out of the booth, holding her hand out for Castle.

"Where are we going?" Castle asked.

"To your office." Kate said, her eyes dark with arousal.

"They are going to know what we are doing." Castle said, nodding in the direction of their friends.

"I really don't care. Now are you coming or am I going to have to go take care of things myself." Kate asked, an evil smirk on her lips knowing what that image did to Castle.

Sure enough, it was a matter of seconds before Castle was out of the booth, his hands on Kate's hips, pushing her towards his office, ignoring the knowing smirks of their friends.

They had barely made it to the bottom of the steps before Castle spun Kate around, his lips crashing down onto hers as he drove her backwards into the wall, neither of them wasting any time divesting the other of their clothing.

"You are always so fucking wet." Castle growled as he ran his fingers through her folds.

"It's all you, but we don't have time for that right now, I need you inside me now." Kate growled as she turned around so she was facing the wall, one hand supporting her weight while the other reached behind her, taking his hard cock and placing it at her entrance. As Castle pushed himself inside of her, she was unable to suppress the moan that escaped, especially when Castle's hands found her hips and he began thrusting into her while simultaneously pulling her hips backs towards him to meet his every thrust.

Castle barely had time to set a rhythm before Kate clenched around him as she flew over the edge, his name escaping her lips like a prayer as she threw her head back in pure pleasure.

"Did you just… already?" Castle asked, surprised at how quickly she came undone, especially since they weren't exactly celibate today.

"Shut up and keep moving." Kate growled, knowing that Castle would be able to easily bring her over the edge once again seeing as how her entire body was still buzzing with arousal.

Castle didn't have to be told twice as he pulled all the way out of her, turning her around and hoisting her up onto his desk, pushing her backward so she was resting on her elbows as he placed himself back at her entrance and pushed into her with ease.

"God you feel so fucking good." Castle groaned as he began to set a fast and steady pace, leaning forward to take one of her breasts in his mouth, increasing the pleasure Kate was experiencing.

Just like the last time, it wasn't long before Kate's entire body tensed, her walls clenching around Castle as she threw her head back, her mouth slightly parted as she came apart, only this time, Castle was right there with her, burying himself to the hilt as he spilled inside of her.

"Wow." Castle said once they both regained their ability to think.

"All you have to say is wow?" Kate asked, quirking an eyebrow at Castle as he pulled himself out of her.

"What can I say? You leave me speechless." Castle said.

"It is pretty damn good." Kate said, leaning forward to place a kiss to his lips as she pulled him over to the couch, pulling the blanket over them as they got comfortable.

"Hey Kate?" Castle asked after a couple minutes of complete silence.

"Yeah?" Kate asked.

"I don't want to go to a strip club either. You're the only person I want to see half naked for the rest of my life." Castle said.

"I know Castle. I never had any doubt in my mind." Kate said through a yawn.

"Good." Castle said.

"Shouldn't you go close up the bar?" Kate asked, her speech slightly slurred from the alcohol and tiredness.

"Don't worry about it. Esposito and Ryan know to close up when the leave, now sleep." Castle said.

"Kay." Kate mumbled, pressing a kiss to his bare chest. "Love you."

"I love you too." Castle said, pressing a kiss to her forehead before pulling her tighter into her chest.

Both of them were so exhausted, they were out in seconds and neither of them noticed their friends sneak down the stairs and snap a few pictures of them before disappearing up the stairs, hands covering their mouths to quiet their laughter.

Castle and Beckett may want to keep things simple, but Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan… they were still going to have their fun.

Besides, what kind of friends would they be if they respected their every wish.

_**Author's Note: So here you go. I'm sorry if this chapter sucks. Don't really feel good. **_

_**Enjoy and review. **_


	115. Chapter 115

Chapter 115:

The next morning, Castle was woken up by the sirens of a passing police car on the streets above. Slowly opening his eyes and blinking a few times to clear his vision, he glanced at the clock to see that it was a little past eight which meant he could get a few more hours of sleep before his employees began to make their way in for their shift. Snuggling deeper into the couch, Castle closed his eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep, tightening his hold on Kate, who was still fast asleep on his chest, or so he thought.

The police siren was loud enough to wake Kate up, but she was exhausted and so comfortable snuggled up in Castle's arms that she immediately closed her eyes to go back to sleep and she almost succeeded too, until Castle started moving, effectively waking her up again.

"Castle, if you don't stop moving, I'm pushing you onto the floor." Kate mumbled when Castle shifted for the tenth time in the past five minutes.

"Sorry." Castle said, immediately falling still, but Kate could feel the tension in his body which meant he wasn't comfortable and wouldn't sleep which meant that Kate wouldn't be able to get comfortable and therefore she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

"What time is it?" Kate asked, resting her chin on Castle's chest, a soft smile appearing on her face at how adorable he looked when he was still half asleep, his hair all messed up a crooked smile on his face as he looked down at her.

"A little after eight." Castle said, reaching up to brush a piece of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear before shifting slightly so Kate's head was now resting on his shoulder, her nose buried in the crook of his neck.

"We should probably get up before someone comes down here and finds us like this." Kate said.

"Nope." Castle said, tightening his hold on Kate when she attempted to get up, pulling her back down onto his chest.

"Castle." Kate growled. She really didn't want to be caught by some employee, lying naked on the couch with their boss.

"Relax. Nobody is scheduled to come in for a few hours yet, we've got plenty of time. Besides, it didn't bother you yesterday when we had sex in that changing room or last night when you made a very convincing argument as to why I should take you down here and have my wicked, wicked way with you right in the middle of the busiest time of the night." Castle said.

"Yeah, well that was your fault." Kate grumbled.

"How is it my fault? You're the one that told me if I didn't get my ass down here you were going to take care of things by yourself. You know I can't control myself when you say that." Castle exclaimed.

"Yeah, well if you weren't so damn irresistible, then I wouldn't constantly have the overwhelming desire to have my wicked way with you and if I didn't always have the overwhelming desire to have my wicked way with you I wouldn't have to pull out the 'taking care of things by myself' card when you act all responsible and grown up and remind me that it's probably not the best idea to go have sex in your office when there are a whole bunch of people around." Kate said.

"Damn me and my irresistible self." Castle said, slapping his thigh in mock exasperation.

"Shut up." Kate grumbled, slapping his chest.

"Sorry." Castle chuckled.

"No you're not." Kate said.

"You're right. I kind of really love that you think I'm irresistible. If it makes you feel better, I find you pretty damn irresistible too." Castle said.

"Oh really?" Kate asked, turning to look at him.

"Really. You have no idea how many times a day I have to find something to distract me so I don't drag you into a supply closet or interrogation room and have my wicked way with you." Castle said.

"Hmm, I guess I'm going to have to try harder to make sure you don't have any distractions." Kate said with a wicked smile as she leaned forward to capture his lips with hers.

"Tease." Castle mumbled when they pulled apart.

"It's only teasing if I don't plan on following through." Kate said, patting him on the chest as she got up and started to collect her clothes.

"I'm going to hold you to that." Castle said, propping himself up on his elbow, a smirk playing on his lips as he took in the sight of Kate walking around his office completely naked.

Kate must have felt his eyes on her because she turned around, an eyebrow quirked in question, to see his eyes raking over her naked body.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer." Kate said with a smirk as she began to pull her clothes on.

"Oh believe me, I have plenty of pictures, but none of them compare to the real thing." Castle said.

"Castle!" Kate said, turning to glare at him, throwing his clothes at his face.

"Oh don't give me that look. You have pictures of me on your phone too." Castle said with a smirk as he began to pull his clothes on.

"You know the only reason those pictures are on my phone is because you sent them to me." Kate said.

"Now, now detective, you know very well the reason those pictures are on your phone aren't because of me. If you didn't want them, you could have deleted them, but you didn't, you saved them to your phone because you liked them. In fact, I do believe you liked them so much, you came home early from work that day to show me exactly how much you liked them." Castle said, a smug expression on his face, knowing he got her exactly where he wanted her.

"I hate you." Kate huffed, grabbing her phone and keys and making her way up the stairs.

She was just about to make her way out of the bar when she felt Castle's hand wrap around her wrist, pulling her back into him as his lips descended onto hers in a heated kiss.

"I was just joking, you know that right? I would never take those kind of pictures of you without your permission and even if I did have your permission, I would never keep them on my phone where anyone could find them." Castle said, his forehead resting against hers.

"Seriously? You don't have any naked pictures of me?" Kate asked, pulling back to look at him with surprise. Even though she had never exactly asked him if he had those kinds of pictures, she just always assumed he did and in all honesty, it didn't really bother her. She knew that he would make sure that if someone did get a hold of his phone, they wouldn't be able to access his personal pictures, just like she made sure no one would be able to access her personal pictures of him if someone got a hold of his pictures.

"Not a one. I would never respect you like that." Castle said with a genuine smile.

"Well then, Mr. Castle, I think we are going to have to fix that since you've been such a good boy." Kate said with a seductive smile as she fiddled with one of the buttons on his shirt.

"Really?" Castle asked, his face lighting up like a little boy on Christmas.

"Mhm. Plus, I think I could use some new pictures of my own." Kate said with a wink, trailing her hand down his chest before turning on her heels and exiting the bar, leaving a stunned Castle in her wake.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Castle asked when he finally pulled himself together enough to join her in the crown vic.

"Not at all. I would miss the wonderful things you do to my body. Nobody knows how to touch me like you do, knows how to make me fall apart using just your hands. And the things you do with your mouth, I couldn't remember my name if I tried when your fingers are inside of me, your mouth sucking and licking my clit, driving me absolutely crazy. I never have to tell you what I need, you just know if I need it fast and rough, or slow and sweet. And the way you fill me so completely, the way you hit all the right spots, words can't even begin to describe how wonderful that feels." Kate said, keeping her face expressionless, her voice a breathy moan, knowing exactly what kind of affect her words would have on Castle.

When Castle didn't say anything, Kate looked over at him to see him staring at her, his jaw clenched, a look in his eyes that said he was doing everything he could to stop himself from begging her to pull over so he could have his way with her in the back seat.

"What's a matter Ricky?" Kate said, in her must seductive tone, a sexy smirk on her face, loving the affect she knew she was having on him.

"You. Are. Evil." Castle growled through clenched teeth.

"Karma baby. Now be a good boy and stay quiet. Oh and I'd suggest you get your… situation under control." Kate said, glancing down at the obvious bulge in his pants.

"It's your fault I have a… situation in the first place." Castle pointed out before resting his head against the seat and closing his eyes, focusing on his breathing in order to get himself under control.

Kate just smiled and turned her attention back to the road. Truth be told, she was just as turned on as Castle was, the images of what she described playing through her mind. Lucky for her, she was able to hide it, while Castle wasn't so lucky.

Pulling into an empty parking spot and turning of the car, Kate glanced over at Castle and couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face at how adorable he looked. He had propped his head up against the head rest but sometime during the trip, his head and lulled to the side so now his forehead was squished against the window. To top things of on the adorableness scale, his mouth was hanging open and his hair was even more messed up than it was when he woke up this morning on the couch.

Figuring that it probably wasn't a good idea to wake him up like she usually did, seeing as the whole reason he fell asleep was because he was trying to get his situation under control, she decided that the next best thing to do was wake him up abruptly, so reaching over to the lever that reclined his seat, she pulled it up, effectively causing the back of his seat to drop, bringing him with it and jolting him out of his sleep.

"Good morning sleepy head." Kate said with a smirk at the expression on Castle's face.

"Was that really necessary?" Castle asked.

"Probably not, but seeing as how my other option involved my hands and a certain appendage." Kate said, glancing down at his crotch. "I decided this was the best option, especially since you worked so hard to get yourself under control."

"I'll remember that the next time I have to wake you up. Where are we?" Castle asked, looking out the window to try and figure out where they were.

"The hospital." Kate said.

"What?" Castle asked, turning to look at Kate with wide, panicky eyes which Kate didn't notice because she was distracted by something on her phone.

"The hospital. We need to get your hand checked out to make sure that there really isn't anything wrong with it, especially since you kind of need your hands to do your job." Kate said.

When Castle didn't say anything, Kate looked over at him to see him looking out the front window with a blank look on his face. Her only clue that something was wrong was that his eyes were clouded over, his jaw was clenched and his good hand was closed tightly into a fist.

"Castle… Rick, what's wrong?" Kate asked hesitantly, a little frightened by his abrupt mood change.

"I can't go in there." Castle said quietly.

"What?" Kate asked.

"I'm not going in there, I can't go in there." Castle said adamantly.

"Castle, you need to get your hand properly checked out, make sure it really isn't broken." Kate said as softly as possible while still remaining some firmness in her voice.

"Kate…" Castle said, the warning clear in his voice.

"Rick, what's going on?" Kate asked.

"I just… I just can't go in there. Can we please just drop this and go home?" Castle asked, turning to look at her, his eyes swimming with vulnerability, silently begging her to get him out of here.

"No Rick. We aren't going to drop this. We don't keep secrets from each other, not anymore. You can tell me whatever it is, I want to know, I love you and I want to be able to help you with whatever is going on." Kate said, reaching across the center counsel to take his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers together.

"You're going to think I'm being pathetic." Castle said, looking away from her and down at his feet.

"Rick, stop. You know that's not true. You know I would never judge you for something like this, just like I know that you would never judge me if the roles were reversed. I love you and you love me and whatever this is, we are going to get through it together, but I need to know what's bothering you if I'm going to help you." Kate said.

"Okay." Castle said quietly, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Whenever you're ready." Kate said reaching forward with her other hand and resting it on his neck, gently running her fingers through his hair in an attempt to comfort him and make this easier, even if it was just a little bit.

"When I was in the hospital right after I got shot, I started having panic attacks. I was fine during the day because I constantly had someone visiting so I was distracted, but at night I was left to my own thoughts and of course being a writer, my mind would go into over drive. All I could think about was the fact that the sniper was still out there, that there was a chance that he was still coming after you, that this time, he wouldn't miss. Thankfully, for the first week or so after I uh, kicked you out, Ryan and Esposito still came in and would give me updates on you so I knew that you were okay, but then you disappeared to your dad's cabin and kind of fell of the face of the earth. That's when things started to get really bad. I would start to worry about whether you were okay or not, and that worry would turn into anxiety because I had no way of finding out if you were okay and once I realized I had no way to find out if you were okay, the anxiety would turn into a full blown panic attack because for all I knew, you were lying dead somewhere in the forest and nobody knew. I would start to hyperventilate and my heart rate would escalate until it got dangerously high and they had to sedate me which just made things worse because then I would start having a nightmare, the same nightmare every time. We would be right back in the cemetery except this time I couldn't get to you soon enough and you would die and everyone would blame me." Castle said, tears streaming down his face.

"The same dream you had in your office that one night after the snipers case." Kate said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. Except when I was in my office, I was able to wake up, when I was in the hospital, I was sedated so I couldn't wake up so the nightmare would just play over and over again until the sedative finally wore off. You would think that waking up would be a relief, but in a way it was even worse than being asleep." Castle said, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Because I wasn't there. I ran like I always did so all you had was the image of me dying playing over and over in your head and you had no idea if I was okay or not and you had no way to find out if I was okay or not because I refused to talk to anyone. God Rick, I'm so sorry." Kate said, remembering what he told her in his office, about how he started freaking out because he had no clue if she was okay or not because she wouldn't answer her phone after he tackled her at the crime scene.

"It's not your fault Kate, I was the one who kicked you out and you were only doing what I asked." Castle said.

"Yeah, but I didn't have to go and disappear like that, especially with what happened, knowing that everyone would be worried about me." Kate said.

"Everyone handles things differently and at the time, you needed to be alone. There was nothing wrong with that. Did it scare the shit out of me not knowing where you were or if you were alive, yes, but that was nobody's fault but mine. If I wanted to constantly know if you were okay or not, I shouldn't have kicked you out." Castle said, reaching forward to wipe some tears off of her face.

"I still feel bad though. You were my partner, I should have been there for you, even if you didn't' want me to be." Kate said.

"I know and that's what makes you so extraordinary." Castle said with a small smile, cupping her cheek and caressing it with his thumb before pulling her into his chest, her head resting in the crook of his neck, a comforting silence falling over the both of them, Castle rubbing soothing circle's on Kate's back while Kate traced patterns on Castle's upturned hand.

"Did you ever go back?" Kate finally asked, breaking the silence.

"What?" Castle asked, not following her train of thought.

"After you got out of the hospital, did you ever try going back?" Kate asked.

"Once." Castle said, the tone in his voice letting her know that it didn't go to well.

"What happened?" Kate asked.

"When I was allowed to leave the hospital and go home, the nightmares and panic attacks didn't necessarily stop, but they were easier to manage because I was able to distract myself so I think I convinced myself that I was better and just pushed it out of my mind. About a week after I got out of the hospital, they wanted to see me, just for a check up, and I thought I would be alright, but the moment I stepped into the hospital, the memories of the nightmares and panic attacks came rushing back and I still had no idea if you were alright or not and while it was overwhelming, I knew that this was necessary in my steps to recovery and getting back to the precinct so I found a chair out of the way and distracted myself with my phone. It was working too… until an ambulance pulled up with a woman covered in blood. I obviously knew that it wasn't you, I would know you anywhere, but I was already on edge to begin with and the sudden disturbance and chaos was too much and all I could see was you lying there, dead at the cemetery, my hands covered in your blood and I guess I had a massive panic attack and passed out. I never went back and any future doctor visits were done in the privacy of my loft." Castle said.

"You know I'll be there with you the whole time, right?" Kate asked.

"What?" Castle asked.

"I may be wrong, but from what you told me, I don't think things would have been nearly as bad if you had just known that I was okay, if you could just see with your own eyes that I was still there, that I was still breathing, but you couldn't and I think that's why things got so bad. You had no idea where I was and whether or not I was safe and that freaked you out, like you said, and it just progressed from there because you literally had no way of finding out if I was okay. But you don't have to worry about that now, because I will be there with you the whole time, I'm not going to leave your side no matter what. I'm not saying it's going to be sunshine and rainbows, you'll probably always feel a little anxious, but it won't progress into a full blown panic attack because I will be right there, all you have to do is look at me to know that I'm okay." Kate said.

"I don't know." Castle said, hesitantly.

"Can you at least try for me? If it gets too bad we will leave right away." Kate said.

"Why can't we just go back to the loft and call a private doctor? I have the money." Castle said.

"Because I need you to be okay with hospitals." Kate said, some kind of underlying emotion clear in her voice that Castle couldn't identify.

"Why?" Castle asked, slightly confused.

"We're trying to have a baby, Castle." Kate said.

"I'm… I'm not following." Castle said, his brow furrowed.

Running her hands through her hair with a sigh, she sat up to face Castle to see the confusion etched on his face.

"I know I've told you this, but before I met you, even the thought of having a kid would make me sick to my stomach. I have a dangerous job and there are no guarantees that I'll be coming home at the end of the day. Knowing how hard it was on me to lose my mom, knowing that it would have been just as hard even if my dad hadn't hit the bottle and was there for me, I just knew I couldn't bring a child into the world knowing there was a possibility that my child would loose their mother just like I lost mine. I couldn't bring a child into the world knowing I could potentially be responsible for bringing the kind of pain I felt when I lost my mother on my child. With you though, it's different. While that fear that something will happen to me that will take me away from my child is still there, you've showed me that I can't stop living my life because I'm scared. You've helped me realize that while yes, I may not make it to see tomorrow, there's also a very good chance that I'll grow old and grey and if I don't do things because I'm scared of the unknown, I'm only going to have regrets. I can't have a baby with you Richard Castle, but I would be lying if I said the idea of becoming a mother didn't scare the shit out of me. I just… I need you to be okay with hospitals because whether you like it or not, any children we have are going to be born in a hospital and while I know my dad, Lanie, or Martha would be more than happy to be there in the delivery room with me, none of them are you, I want you there Castle, I need you there. I can't do it without you and I know it's selfish, but I'm going to need you to be the strong run, I'm going to need you to tell me that everything is going to be okay and be there holding my hand and supporting me just like you always do, but if you can't go into a hospital without having a panic attack then I'm going to have to do it alone and I just, I just can't Castle and I know you don't want to miss the birth of your child any more than I want you to. I don't want you to think that I'm not taking this seriously, that I'm just telling you to get over it and move on just like that, because I know it's not that easy, but the way I see it, it's better to figure out a way to get you comfortably through this now when we have time rather than later when it's too late. I hate that you had to go through this alone, especially when it was because of me, but I would hate it even more if you missed something I know you want to be there for because of it. So let me help you, let me there for you and help you get through this just like you've been there for me and helped me get through difficult things in my life because that's what partners are for." Kate said, her voice reaching almost a pleading tone. She couldn't give birth to their child without Castle there, she just couldn't.

Castle must have heard the desperation in her voice, because he looked at her, his gaze softening slightly even though he still looked apprehensive before he looked out the front window at the hospital, mulling it over.

"You promise you'll be right there with me the entire time?" Castle asked, his voice wavering slightly.

"I promise. I'm not going anywhere." Kate said with complete sincerity.

"Okay then. Let's get this over with." Castle said, looking back at the hospital with wary eyes.

"You sure?" Kate asked.

"No, but you're right. I want to be in that hospital room when we bring our child into this world and in order for that to happen, this has to happen. Like you said, it's better to figure it out now when we have time rather than when we don't." Castle said.

"Alright then, let's do this." Kate said, giving his hand one final squeeze before getting out of the car, followed by Castle.

"Hey Kate?" Castle asked hesitantly as they made their way towards the entrance of the hospital.

"Hmm?" Kate asked.

"That uh… that speech wasn't you telling me you're pregnant right?" Castle asked.

"No Castle, that wasn't me telling you I was pregnant." Kate said.

"Oh, okay. Uh, good, I mean not good, I just… I'm just going to shut up now." Castle said, avoiding Kate's gaze.

"Hey Castle?" Kate asked, sensing what was bothering him.

"Yeah?" Castle asked.

"It's okay to be disappointed." Kate said, giving his hand a quick squeeze.

"Yeah?" Castle asked.

"Yeah." Kate said with a gentle smile.

"Okay, then I'm kind of disappointed, I was really hoping you were pregnant." Castle said.

"I know, and I will be, someday soon." Kate said.

"Someday soon." Castle repeated with a gentle smile as they approached the entrance.

"Ready?" Kate asked, feeling Castle tense up a little bit.

"Ready as I'll ever be." Castle said, his voice a little shaky.

"I'll be there right by your side the whole time." Kate reassured him.

"Always?" Castle asked, looking down at her with big hopeful eyes.

"Always." Kate said.

With that, Castle took a deep breath and stepped through the door.

Everything was going to be alright, because this time… Kate was right there with him.

_**Author's Note: So yeah, this is a long one and don't worry you will see the rest of the hospital trip and more in the next chapter. I just figured I would split it up so you have something to read since I won't be able to work on this for the next couple days. **_

_**Since I decided to make the wedding over a year away from where we are in the story right now, I have a lot of space to fill in between so I am coming to my wonderful readers for help. **_

_**I want to know what YOU would like to see in this story. Chances are if you want to see it, I will probably find a way to get it in there. More specifically, I'll need some ideas for things to do around the end of summer/beginning of fall before Halloween and then things you would like to see happen when Kate finally tells Castle she is pregnant. So let me know and don't be shy. I'll write pretty much anything**_____

_**Enjoy and Review!**_

_**P.S. Like I said, I have a pretty good idea where we are as far as months/week of that month, but if someone could double check for me, that would be great and I would love you forever. **_


	116. Chapter 116

Chapter 116:

As they stepped into the emergency room and made their way to the nurse's station, Kate was relieved to see that at the moment, the waiting room was relatively empty which meant that there was less of a chance that something would set Castle off. But Kate wasn't naïve, Josh had told her enough stories when they were dating to know that the calm that surrounded them now, could turn into complete and utter chaos in the blink of an eye.

Luckily for Kate, she knew from her time with the NYPD, that with a flash of her badge, they would be led away to a private room where they could wait without having to worry about anything that may or may not happen in the waiting room. Usually, Kate would be adamantly against using her badge for personal use, especially when she was off duty, but if there was ever a time to break her own rules, that time was now, especially since Castle was already on edge from the little bit of activity there was and the longer they stayed, the worse it was going to get.

Of course, the nurse, who looked far too young to be working, was taking her sweet ole time checking people in so by the time they reached the front of the line, Kate was beyond frustrated and annoyed and no longer had any qualms about pulling her badge.

But before she could so much as unclip her badge, the nurse looked up and Kate could tell that she knew exactly who they were.

"Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle, I've heard so much about you from Dr. Davidson, what can I do for you today?" the young woman asked with an expression on her face that made it clear whatever Josh said, it wasn't positive.

"Uh, my partner here got into a fight the other day and his hand has been bothering him ever since. We wanted to make sure there isn't any serious damage since he needs his hands to make a living." Kate said.

"Of course. Just fill out these forms and then have a seat in our waiting area and someone will be with you as soon as possible." The nurse said, sliding the forms across the desk towards Kate with a huge, fake smile.

"Thank you, but about the waiting area, as you can imagine, Mr. Castle would like to keep this incident as quiet as possible and your waiting area is rather public, anyone can come and go which means anyone can take a picture and sell it to the tabloids. Surely there is somewhere more private we can wait." Kate said, deciding that she would try to win the young woman over with kindness, but apparently, the nurse wasn't going to budge.

"I'm sorry Detective Beckett, but this is our only waiting area for the ER, I am sure that the other patients will respect your privacy. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." The nurse said even though Kate could tell she really wasn't sorry.

"Let's try this again." Kate said, placing her badge on the desk in front of the nurse. "I know for a fact that you have private waiting rooms because I've used them before to talk to suspect's families when necessary. Now I don't know about you, but I don't think your boss would be very happy when he finds out that Richard Castle, who makes rather large donations to this hospital, stopped making said donations because he was unsatisfied with the service he received from you. Now I'll ask you again, is there somewhere we can wait that is more private than this waiting area?"

"Through the doors, down the hall, fifth door on the left." The nurse said with complete bitterness.

"Thank you." Kate said, grabbing the forms off the desk and leading Castle toward the doors the nurse pointed at without another word.

Kate wasn't stupid, she knew that when Castle started to panic in the car, this visit wasn't going to be sunshine and rainbows, but this was just ridiculous.

Walking out of the very doors they were headed toward was none other than Josh, bruised face and all.

Over the past few minutes, Castle's grip on her hand had tightened considerably like he was drowning and she was the only thing keeping him above water and she knew with one glance in his direction that the last thing he needed was to deal with Josh's antics, but she also knew from the look on Josh's face that he was going to want to talk and he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Castle, why don't you go head to the waiting room." Kate said.

"Kate…" Castle pleaded, looking at her with an expression that clearly said 'you promised me you wouldn't leave my side.'

"I know Castle, I know, but the last thing you need right now is to deal with him. I promise that I will be right behind you and if things get bad just call me and I will be right there." Kate said, watching Castle give a curt nod before walking away, completely ignoring Josh as he passed.

Kate had never hated Josh more than right now. Once again, Castle needed her and she wasn't there for him because of Josh.

"Kate, what are you doing here? Are you okay?" Josh asked as he approached her.

"I'm fine Josh, we're here to make sure Castle's hand isn't broken." Kate said, making it obvious that she didn't want to stand here and talk to him.

"Oh, you aren't going to tell the doctor everything that happened, are you?" Josh asked, suddenly nervous.

"Why wouldn't I?" Kate asked, standing her ground, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Because you know this job means the world to me and I would hope you would respect the fact that I don't want the people I work with to know what happened, I have a reputation to uphold." Josh said like it was obvious.

"You mean like you respected me when you went to MY workplace and tried to get MY partner and fiancé arrested? If that's what this about, you can save your breath, you don't deserve my respect and you definitely don't deserve Castle's." Kate said as she started to walk away.

"Kate." Josh said, grabbing her hand to stop her from walking away.

"Take your hands off me." Kate growled as she spun around to face Josh, her jaw clenched, ready to use force if he didn't remove his hand immediately.

"No need to make a scene." Josh said, letting go of her arm, glancing around to make sure no one was watching them.

"We're done here Josh, for good. Don't try to talk to me, don't try to talk to Castle, just leave us alone. If you bother us again, we will take legal action against you and I really don't want it to come to that." Kate said as she turned on the spot and began to walk away.

Just like in the café, Kate had barely taken two steps when Josh decided to open his big mouth and uttered six words he was going to wish he never said.

"I wish the bullet killed him." Josh mumbled.

Big. Mistake.

One second Josh was standing there thinking he was out of the woods and the next he was stumbling backwards as Kate's open hand made contact with his face, all her anger channeled into that one very loud, very painful slap, which attracted the attention of everyone in the waiting area.

"Go to hell." Kate growled before turning on her heels and disappearing through the same double doors Castle had just disappeared through.

Pausing outside of the door to the private waiting room, hand resting on the handle, Kate took a few deep breaths to calm herself down, trying to forget everything that had just happened, but her efforts were completely pointless because the moment she stepped into the waiting all thoughts of Josh were driven out of her mind by the sight before her.

Castle was not okay.

He was sitting in a chair in the corner, his head resting on the wall behind him, hands gripping the arm rests on his chair, tension radiating off his body. The color had completely drained out of his face leaving him sheet white and his eyes were shut tightly like he was trying to block out whatever images were playing in his mind. To make matters worse, she could see that he was visibly shaking and his breathing was coming in short, labored gasps like he was on the verge of hyperventilating. It broke her heart to know that he had to go through this because of her, because she couldn't suck it up and be there for him after he got shot when he clearly needed her, but she was here now and god help her she was going to do everything in her power to make sure she pulled him out of whatever dark place he was in just like he did for her time and time again.

Crossing the room in a few long strides, Kate carefully knelt on the floor in front of Castle, positioning herself between his legs, careful not to startle him and make things worse.

Tentatively, she reached out and placed her hands on his arms, silently letting him know that he was no longer alone, that she was there with him, even though she wasn't sure he would believe this was reality based on what he told her, at least not until he opened his eyes.

"Castle." Kate said quietly as she began to run her hands up and down his arms, feeling him tense momentarily at her touch.

"Kate?" Castle choked out, what she could only describe as relief flashing across his face as he screwed his eyes shut tighter, confirming her suspicions that he thought this was all in his head, that the moment he opened his eyes, this would all be over and she would be gone.

"I'm right here Castle, I'm right here." Kate said, reaching up with one hand to cup his face, lightly caressing his cheek with her thumb.

"I'm so sorry Kate, I'm so sorry. I should have moved faster, I saw the reflection, if I just moved faster I would have gotten there in time, I could have saved you. I should have just moved faster. I'm so sorry Kate." Castle said, complete devastation in his voice.

"Castle, I need you to listen to me, okay? You did get there in time, you did save me. I know you think I'm gone, I know that's what you're seeing in your head right now, but that isn't real, you're just having a panic attack and you're mind is playing tricks on you. You saved me Castle and I'm right here, I'm alive. All you have to do is open your eyes and you will see that I'm right here." Kate pleaded, locking her hands behind his neck, resting her forehead against his so her breath was skating across his lips.

"I don't want to open my eyes, if I open my eyes, you'll be gone. Please Kate, please don't make me open my eyes." Castle pleaded, his voice breaking with the emotions coursing through him, tears running down his cheeks.

"Castle, do you feel that?" Kate asked, taking one of his hands and putting it over her heart, covering his hand with hers.

Castle just nodded.

"That's my heart and it's still beating, it never stopped because of you. You got there in time and you took the bullet for me, I never got shot Castle, I just need you to trust me, do you trust me?" Kate asked.

"More than anything Kate, more than anything, you know that." Castle said.

"I do know that, so I need you to trust me right now when I say that you need to open your eyes. I need you to trust me when I promise you that I'm still here, that I'm not going to disappear when you open your eyes." Kate said.

"You promise you're going to be there? I can't handle it if you aren't there Kate, I can't handle it. I need you like I need oxygen and if you aren't there, I won't be able to survive that pain again, I won't." Castle said, completely breaking Kate's heart. This is what he had to go through every time he had a panic attack or a nightmare, he had to convince himself to open his eyes, he had to believe that she was going to be there and every time she wasn't, every time he had to experience heart wrenching pain, thinking she was gone. What had she done?

"I promise Castle. I promised you always and I meant it. I'm not going anywhere, just open your eyes." Kate said, tears now running down her cheeks at how fearful Castle looked, even though his eyes were still closed.

Quietly, Kate watched as Castle took a deep breath and then slowly cracked his eyes open, barely enough to see in front of him, almost like he was ready to slam them shut again if he didn't see her, but he did, she was right there in front of him like she promised and that was enough to get him to open his eyes all the way, enough for the fearful expression on his face to turn into nothing but pure relief.

"Kate." Castle sighed like a prayer, pulling her straight into his arms, hugging her so tightly she was sure he was never going to let her go, but she didn't care, if that's what it took to make him feel better, she would stay just like this in her arms for as long as he wanted.

"I know Castle, I know, but I'm right here. I'll always be right here." Kate said, running one hand through his hair over and over again, whispering comforting words in his ear, feeling him relax little by little with each passing second until he finally leaned back in his seat, bringing both hands up to cup her cheek, pulling her into a passionate kiss full of love.

"I thought I lost you… I thought, I thought you were dead." Castle moaned, pulling her back into his chest, wrapping his arms around her and breathing in her scent. He would never get used to this, he would never get used to holding her tight in his arms, inhaling the scent of her cherry body wash.

"I know Castle and I'm so sorry. I promised you I would be there by your side the entire time and I should have been there the entire time and there was no excuse for me breaking my promise, especially when it was because I was talking to Josh." Kate said, tightening her hold on him a little bit, knowing that he liked tight hugs.

"It's okay… just, I know you like your space, especially after spending the entire weekend together, but just don't… don't expect me to let you out of my sight anytime soon." Castle said, leaning back to gauge her reaction, like he thought she was going to be angry that he needed to just be there with her after what he just went through.

"Castle, let me tell you a little secret, I'm not quite ready to let you out of my sight either." Kate said with a small smile which only grew when Castle gave her that big, eye crinkling grin he only saved for her.

"Yeah?" Castle asked.

"Yeah." Kate said, leaning forward to place a lingering kiss on his lips. "Now what do you say we fill out these forms, get your hand checked out, and then head home, curl up on the couch, and watch some movies?"

"I would have to say that lying down, snuggled up on the couch with you would be the perfect way to end this day." Castle said.

"Then it's a date." Kate said as she stood up and sat in the chair next to him and began to fill out the forms the nurse had handed her.

"Hey Kate?" Castle asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah?" Kate asked, looking over at him with complete tenderness on her face.

"I love you." Castle said, breaking out into a huge smile.

"I love you too, writer man, I love you too." Kate said before turning back to the paperwork.

As he sat there, watching her fill out the paperwork with absolute ease like she was filling out her own paperwork, he couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face because despite everything that happened, despite the fear that still overwhelmed him sometimes, he knew one thing.

As long as he had Kate by his side, everything was going to be alright.

_**Author's Note: Well there you go. I'm not even going to pretend like I know what it's like to go through something like this so I hope I did it justice. **_

_**On an unrelated note, I have an idea for something that I want to do later on in this story, but I'm not sure if it will make sense or not, so if one of you don't mind knowing a small part of what is going to happen later on, can you PM me so I can run the idea by you, just to see what you think? Thanks!**_

_**Enjoy and review**___


	117. Chapter 117

Chapter 117:

It was a little over two hours later when Castle and Beckett got back to the loft after their visit to the hospital where they found out Castle did indeed have two minor fractures, one on his first knuckle and one on his second.

There was good news and there was bad news.

The good news was that with a little time, Castle's hand would heal right up and be as good as new with absolutely no complications.

The bad news was that while his hand was healing, he had to wear a soft cast with strict instructions from the doctor not to use it unless absolutely necessary which meant no writing, no video games, no takedowns, and absolutely no physical activity that will put any kind of stress on his hand.

It was going to be a long few weeks.

"I can't believe the doctor said we couldn't have sex… for an entire month! It's impossible! I mean look at you, I'm not strong enough to keep my hands off of you." Castle whined as he plopped down on the couch with an exasperated sigh, watching Kate walk into the kitchen to get some water, purposely adding a little extra sway to her hips for the sole purpose of driving him crazy.

"Hey, don't drag me into this. The doctor said you can't have sex, he never said anything about me." Kate said with a completely straight face as she made her way over to the couch where Castle was sitting, jaw hanging open.

"Uh… what?" Castle managed to choke out before visibly swallowing.

"God, you're so easy Castle. Besides, if you actually listened to the doctor, you would know that he never actually said we couldn't have sex. He said we couldn't have sex in a position that would put stress on your hand." Kate said.

"Oh. How did I miss that?" Castle asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"My best guess was you heard the words 'no sex' and immediately thought it was the end of the world so you stopped listening." Kate said with a smirk.

"Well can you blame me? We have some pretty amazing sex." Castle said.

"Yes, yes we do and in the next month, it's going to get a whole lot better." Kate said seductively as she straddled him, her hands running up and down his chest.

"Oh really? And why is that?" Castle asked, his hands coming to rest on her hips.

"Because for the next month, every time we have sex, you get to watch me ride you, you get to watch me slide up and down on your hard cock, completely filling me every time I come down on you. And if that's not a good enough image for you, imagine my head thrown back, eyes closed, mouth slightly parted as the pleasure rips through my body every time you hit _that_ spot. Imagine the image of my hand coming down to play with my clit, just long enough to push me over the edge and when I do fall over the edge, imagine my hands coming up to my breasts, squeezing them as I clench around you, squeezing them as I call out your name. That is why our sex is going to get a lot better." Kate said, placing a chaste kiss to his lips before hopping off his lap and making her way to the bedroom.

"Wait, Kate… you can't just leave me like this." Castle said, gesturing to his very obvious erection.

"Oh don't you worry Castle, I'll make sure to take care of that." Kate said with a wink. "But I need to take a shower first and you need to call Black Pawn."

"Uh, why do I need to call Black Pawn?" Castle asked.

"Because unless you can magically learn how to sign books with your left hand in the next two weeks, I don't think you're going to be going on that book tour." Kate said.

"Oh yeah. Why can't I join you in the shower and then call them afterwards?" Castle asked with a hopeful look on his face.

"Because I know you Castle. If I give you what you want before you call Paula, you'll never call Paula. Think of it this way, the sooner you call Paula, the sooner we can work on making that little scene I just described become reality." Kate said before turning around and disappearing into the bedroom.

"You are going to be the death of me woman!" Castle yelled, the arousal in his voice clear.

"Just make sure you add me to the will first!" Kate said as she shut the bathroom door behind her.

About a half an hour later, Kate made her way out of the bedroom toweling off her hair, wearing a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and one of Castle's old sweatshirts, to see Castle sitting on the couch, his phone in his hand, a pained expression on his face.

"Did you call Paula?" Kate asked, coming to stand directly in front of him.

"Nope." Castle said.

"Why not?" Kate asked, somewhat surprised. She thought for sure with the promise of sex hanging over his head, he would have made the call right away.

"Because I did something stupid." Castle said, running his hands through his hair nervously.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked, searching his face for a clue as to how bad this could be.

"For a long time, Paula has been trying to get me to do a tour in Europe to promote my books, but I've been against from the start and refuse every time she tries to bring it up, especially recently. Well, when I went to see her about this book tour, she went on and on about how I've developed a habit of canceling book signings, book tours, appearances, stuff like that and she wouldn't shut up, so as a sign of good faith, knowing that she knew how adamant I was against a Europe based tour, I told her that if I cancelled this book tour, I would go on the Europe tour." Castle said, looking at her for the first time, nothing but regret in his eyes.

"How, uh, how long?" Kate managed to choke out, her heart beating frantically. She knew from the look in Castle's eyes that it was not going to be a number she liked.

"A little over a year." Castle said, watching as Kate's face instantly paled, the towel she was holding dropping to the floor.

Kate knew that there was more that he needed to say, more that he wanted to say and she would let him, just not right now. Right now, she just needed to be alone. She could feel the tears starting to build up behind her eyes and it felt like the entire room was closing in on her.

With one last look at Castle who had an expression on his face that broke her heart, she turned on her heels and disappeared back into the bedroom, closing the door behind her before collapsing onto the bed, curling herself into a ball around her pillow as the tears began to stream down her face.

Castle must have immediately gotten up to follow because she must have only been lying there for about thirty seconds before Castle was there, kneeling down next to the bed, reaching forward and gently wiping the tears away that were on her cheeks.

"Hey, hey, hey, Kate, shhh, don't cry, there's no reason to cry." Castle said quietly as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

"Are you serious Castle? You're leaving for over a fucking year! I know it's your job and everything, but a fucking year. Do you know what that's going to do to me? It's going to kill me. I can barely handle a week without you and you expect me to go an entire year with nothing other than phone calls, text messages, and maybe the occasional visit when I can get a few weeks off? And you can forget trying for a baby now because there is no way I can handle going through that alone without you while you're off in another country. God Castle, what were you thinking?" Kate asked as the tears began to stream down her face again.

"Kate… c'mon babe, stop crying. There is no reason for you to cry because I'm not going." Castle said, once again wiping away the tears that had pooled under her eyes.

"What?" Kate asked, looking at him with wide eyes.

"You heard me. I'm not going. God Kate, I couldn't handle being away from you for that long any better than you could. I know its cliché, but when I'm not around you, it feels like I can't breathe. Being away from you for an entire year would literally kill me, especially if we had a little Castle or a little Beckett on the way. And on top of not seeing you, I wouldn't be able to see the guys, or Alexis, or mother. I just… I can't do it. Maybe ten, fifteen years ago it would have been a cool experience, but now, I'd be leaving too much behind and that is something I can't do." Castle said.

"You're not going?" Kate asked.

"I'm not going." Castle said, leaning forward to press a lingering kiss to her lips before pulling away, unable to suppress the smile that formed on his face at the look of pure joy on Kate's face.

"You still need to call Paula." Kate said after the broke apart, gently tracing the lines on his face with her finger.

"I know." Castle said with something that sounded like sadness in his voice.

"What is it?" Kate asked, sensing his distress.

"When I call Paula and tell her that I can't do this book tour, she is going to automatically assume that this means I am going to go on the Europe book tour and unless I can talk her out of it, I'm going to have to break my contract with Black Pawn and take my talents elsewhere which I really don't want to do." Castle said.

"I'm guessing by the look on your face that you don't think you can talk Paula out of it." Kate said.

"The thing about Paula is that once you tell her you will do something, it pretty much becomes legally binding and she won't take no for an answer no matter what you do." Castle said.

"And there's absolutely nothing in your contract that can keep her from basically forcing you on this tour?" Kate asked.

"There was. Shortly after Alexis was born, I had it added to my contract that while Alexis was under the age of 18, I had the right to turn down any book tours that would require me to be away from her for more than two weeks, but that expired as soon as she turned 18 so technically, Black Pawn can send me anywhere they want and because I have canceled so many events prior to this, there really isn't anything I can do to prevent this from happening, except for breaking my contract with them." Castle said.

"Give me your phone." Kate said, sitting up and holding out her hand.

"What?" Castle asked, slightly taken back by the sudden demand.

"Just give me your phone and go take a shower." Kate said.

"Wait, why?" Castle asked even as he took out his phone and placed it in her hand.

"Do you trust me?" Kate asked.

"Always." Castle replied, even though he still looked confused.

"Then trust me. Everything will make sense when you get out of the shower so scram." Kate said, shooing Castle away.

She could see the confusion on Castle's face as he stood up and made his way into the bathroom, but lucky for her, he knew better than to question her when she had a plan.

Waiting until she heard the water turn on, she unlocked Castle's phone and pulled up Paula's number before pressing the call button.

Castle wasn't going to have to leave Black Pawn because Kate was going to give them an offer they couldn't refuse.

_**Author's Note: Dun Dun Dun! What do you think this offer could be? And will it work? Let me know what you think!**_

_**Enjoy and Review. **_


	118. Chapter 118

Chapter 118:

"What are you smiling about?" Castle asked as he made his way into the kitchen after his shower only to find Kate making lunch with a huge smile on her face.

"Nothing." Kate said, failing miserably to convince Castle that she was telling the truth when her smile grew even wider, which Castle didn't think was possible.

"I think you're forgetting that I've known you for almost four years detective, you never smile because of nothing." Castle said as he reached forward to grab a blueberry out of one of the bowls on the counter only to have his hand slapped away.

"Those are for lunch. And _maybe_ I'm smiling because I like the view." Kate said with a smirk as her gaze roamed over Castle's toned body, which was covered only by a pair of Green Lantern boxers.

"While I have no doubt that you are enjoying the view, which I would be more than happy to allow you to continue on a more up close and personal level, that smile was not because of my ruggedly handsome looks." Castle said with a smug smile.

"You sound so sure of yourself there." Kate said.

"Oh I am. I know what your 'I want to have my wicked, wicked way with the very ruggedly handsome, very sexy, and very funny Richard Castle' smile looks like and that wasn't it. So again detective, what are you smiling about?" Castle asked.

"That's for me to know and you to find out." Kate said with a smirk.

"Is that a challenge?" Castle asked with a quirked eyebrow, the corner of his mouth coming up in a smirk.

"I don't think it matters if it is or not, you're going to continue to bug me until I tell you anyway." Kate said.

"Touché. But if you already know you're going to eventually tell me, wouldn't it be easier to just save both of us time and tell me now rather than later?" Castle asked, trying to appeal to the detective in Kate. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to be that easy because Kate apparently left her detective behind when they walked in the door earlier.

"Where's the fun in that? I want to see you work for it. Let's see all those interrogation skills you've picked up over the years." Kate challenged.

"Oh, but Kate, I don't think you could handle my VERY effective interrogation techniques." Castle said, walking around the counter so he stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pilling her backward so she was flush against him, his erection pressing into her ass, causing her eyes to momentarily flutter shut as the heat raced to her core.

"I don't think this is proper interrogation etiquette Mr. Castle." Kate said, rather breathlessly.

"Oh but it is Detective, it is. You see, we aren't in the precinct's interrogation room, we are in mine and in my interrogation room, this is exactly how we get the information we want." Castle whispered in her ear before he began to gently nibble on her earlobe, pulling her more firmly against his erection.

"It's never going to work." Kate said, trying to keep her voice strong only to have it turn into a breathy moan when Castle moved his mouth to her neck while his hands found their way under her sweatshirt, lightly brushing against the undersides of her breasts before settling on her stomach, which only succeeded in frustrating her, making her want more.

"Oh, but I think it's already working." Castle said, once again sliding his hands up her stomach under her sweatshirt, this time going a bit higher and lightly grazing her nipples which immediately puckered before returning his hands to their previous position on her stomach.

"I'm just lulling you into a false sense of security." Kate said even as she sunk back into his warm, bare chest with a content sigh, her head canted sideways to allow him better access to her neck.

"Oh well if you're under control…" Castle said, slipping one hand under the waistband of her pajama pants, his thumb caressing the skin right above where she wanted him, where she needed him.

"Castle…" she whimpered, trying to shift her hips to get him to touch her throbbing clit.

"Nuh uh, not yet Kate. All you have to do is tell me what you were smiling about and then I'll give you exactly what you want." Castle promised.

"I could just go take care of myself you know." Kate said, even though they both knew she really didn't want to.

"Go ahead." Castle said, removing his hand from her pants, pulling her shirt down, and taking a few steps back while gesturing to the bedroom, clearly giving her the green light to go to what she suggested.

"Wait, what?" Kate asked, turning around to face Castle, face flushed with arousal, surprise written all over her face that her little line didn't get her what she wanted.

"I said go ahead. It doesn't matter to me because I know we will be right back where we started eventually. I know you and I know your body. While getting yourself off may give you temporary relief, in the long run, it's only going to frustrate you even more and that's because only I can fully satisfy you and that won't happen until you tell me whatever it is you aren't telling me." Castle said with a shrug.

While he knew that she knew he was right, he also knew she wasn't going to just five in and sure enough, he knew the moment her eyes narrowed with determination, she wasn't going down without a fight.

Without another word, he brushed by her and made his way to the couch, watching Kate hesitate momentarily like she seriously considered throwing in the towel before her entire body straightened up and she walked past him into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

With a smirk, Castle began to silently count to himself and only managed to get to thirty before the bedroom door opened and Kate came storming out, walking right up to him and stopping in front of him with her hands on her hips.

"I called Paula. You don't have to worry about going on the book tour in two weeks up the East Coast and you don't have to worry about going on any tours in Europe now or in the foreseeable future, unless you want to of course." Kate said.

"How did you manage that?" Castle asked, genuinely surprised that Kate, who had only met Paula once or twice managed to do something he had never been able to do, talk Paula out of something.

"I gave her something she couldn't refuse." Kate said with a triumphant smile.

"And that was?" Castle prodded.

"Sorry Mr. Castle, but you're going to have to give me what I want before I give you any more information." Kate said with a wicked smile as she climbed onto his lap, one leg on either side of his waist.

"Oh so that's how this works… you only give me a little something, something then I have to give you a little something, something before you give me more something, something?" Castle asked.

"I can assure you, Mr. Castle, there is nothing 'little' about it." Kate said with an evil glint to her eye as she ground her hips into his fully erect cock.

"God Kate." Castle groaned, his head thrown back against the couch, eyes shut, as his hands came to rest on her hips to stop her from continuously grinding into him. He wasn't going to last very long if she kept doing that.

"What do you say, Mr. Castle? Do we have a deal?" Kate purred, running her nails down his chest, a delighted smile appearing on her face when she felt the shiver that ran through his body at her touch.

"What do you think?" Castle growled before bringing her lips to his in a searing kiss, immediately wiping the smile off her face, a soft moan escaping from the back of her throat when he nipped at her bottom lip, his tongue darting out to soothe the affected area.

"God Castle." Kate moaned as he placed open mouthed kisses along her jaw and down to her neck. Kate's fingers were tangled in his hair, holding him in place, her head tilted to the side, giving Castle more room to work his magic, knowing he was going to leave a mark for everyone to see. But she couldn't bring herself to care, especially when Castle, satisfied with his work, leaned back to look at her with an expression that could only be described as pure hunger and lust.

With one more lingering kiss to Castle's lips, Kate reached down to find the hem of her sweatshirt, pulling it over her head in one swift motion. As the cold air hit her naked flesh, she felt the goose bumps start to form, but they were quickly replaced with the heat that Castle's eyes, roaming over her body, caused.

"God, you are so beautiful." Castle said, meeting her eyes with such tenderness that she could feel the tears prickle up behind her eyes as he lightly brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

"You're not too bad yourself, writer boy." Kate said before leaning down and sealing her mouth to his once again.

All too soon, Castle was pulling away and Kate began to protest only to stop mid-sentence when she felt Castle's breath wash over her beasts, her body immediately responding as her nipples puckered which caused Castle to emit a soft chuckle.

She should have smacked him, she would have smacked him, but almost immediately after his chuckle died down, his hands were moving to remove her pants… not that she noticed because at the same time, his mouth closed around her breast, sending a whole new variety of sensations coursing through her body.

Kate couldn't help the moans that escaped or the way her hips helplessly bucked against Castle's, seeking relief as Castle's mouth expertly worked on her breast, sucking, licking, nipping, flicking, driving Kate absolutely crazy until Castle was satisfied with his work and then started the assault all over again on her other breast until Kate's entire body, which was buzzing, tensed up as an overwhelming wave of pleasure washed over her, sending her to cloud nine.

When the last of the aftershocks from her orgasm subsided, Kate looked down to see Castle watching her with a proud smile on his face.

"I love it when you do that." Castle said with pure amazement.

"What?" Have an orgasm?" Kate asked with a quirked eyebrow, trying to keep his mind on what Castle was saying and not his hands, which were running up and down her back, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

"No, well yes, but more specifically when you have an orgasm when I've barely touched you." Castle said and he was truly amazed even though he's made her cum with far less touching before.

"What can I say Ricky… just the thought of you drives me crazy." Kate said, placing kisses along his jaw.

"Oh really?" Castle asked, running his hands up and down her sides, his thumbs coming dangerously close to her throbbing clit, causing her to squirm, trying to get him to actually touch her.

"Mhm. Before we were dating, there were times when I'd get so turned on by thinking about you that all it would take was a small tweak of my nipple or the slightest bit of pressure on my clit to send me over the edge." Kate said.

"Mmm." Castle hummed, most likely at the images of her in bed… thinking about him… alone.

"And now… I'm going to drive you crazy." Kate said, pushing Castle down so he was lying flat on his back as she began to kiss her way down his body.

Castle was so caught up in the feeling of her lips painting a trail of fire across his skin, that he didn't realize what she was planning at first, but when he did, he quickly reached out, tugging her back up to his lips.

"I'm not going to last long if you do that." Castle growled in her ear.

"I know." Kate said, placing a heated kiss to his lips before once again kissing her way down his body.

"Kate…" Castle warned again when he felt her hands slide under the waistband of his boxers.

"Shhh. Just sit back and enjoy this. I'm in control now." Kate said and with that, she removed his boxers, throwing them onto the floor to join her pants, her eyes darkening slightly, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips at the sight of Castle lying there, completely bare, his cock hard and ready to go.

Reaching out, she wrapped her long fingers all the way around him, running her hand up and down his length a few times, loving the way he twitched against her hand.

"Someone's happy to see me." Kate said with a smirk.

"What can I say… just the thought of you drives me crazy." Castle parroted back, the end of the sentence coming out as more of as a squeak at the feeling of her tongue running along the length of him.

With a wicked smile, Kate ran her thumb over the top of Castle's throbbing erection, watching as Castle's eyes slammed shut, his hands closing in tight fists and without warning, she closed her mouth around him, Castle's sharp intake of breath the only sound around them.

Kate could tell that Castle was trying to control himself to keep himself from giving in to his release, so after flicking her tongue over the tip of his head a few times she released him with an audible pop.

"You're holding back." Kate said, running her hands up his stomach, his muscles twitching under her hands.

"Just relax." Kate said, running her hands back down his stomach, repositioning herself between his legs, taking him in her hand again.

"Enjoy the feeling of my hand wrapped around your hard, throbbing cock." Kate said, giving him in a good squeeze before running her hand up the length of him a few times.

"The feeling my tongue running up your length." Kate continued, her actions mimicking her words as she ran her tongue up and down his length, swirling around his head each and every time.

"How good it feels to have my mouth wrapped around you." Kate purred, taking as much of him into her mouth as she could manage before pulling away, repeating the motion a few times before once again releasing him with an audible pop.

"Just let go." Kate said before once again wrapping her mouth around him, working her way up and down the top half of his length, her tongue flicking over his tip on occasion while her other hand pumped the bottom half of his length, working him closer and closer to his release.

She knew that when Castle's hips started to buck into her and his hand came up to tangle itself in her hair, he was letting himself enjoy the sensations she was causing and the before she knew what was happening, Castle was releasing himself into her mouth, but it didn't deter her, Kate just kept on going, swallowing every last drop, milking him until he was dry before releasing him with a pop.

"That was so hot." Castle growled as he pulled her up so she was lying on his chest, his hands running up and down her back, which only managed to turn Kate on even more, as Castle brought his lips to hers in a soft, leisurely kiss.

Kate was pretty sure that Castle didn't intend for the kiss to go anywhere, at least not yet, but when Kate shifted slightly, she couldn't help but rotate her hips against his thigh, which had found its way between her legs, and at the sound of the moan that escaped her lips, all bets were off.

The kiss quickly became heated as Castle's hands ran down her back before molding perfectly to her ass where he began kneading the flesh as Kate helplessly bucked against his thigh, but it wasn't enough, she wasn't getting what she needed and apparently Castle wasn't either.

"Stand up." Castle growled.

"What?" Kate asked, slow to catch up through her lust induced haze.

"Just trust me. Stand up." Castle said.

Not in the mood to argue, Kate got up off the couch, standing next to it looking down at Castle who shifted so his head was no longer resting on the armrest, but lying flat on the couch.

Without a word, Castle pulled Kate onto him, positioning her so that she had one leg on either side of his head and when she realized what he was planning on doing she couldn't help the shudder that ran through her body and the low moan that filled the room around them.

"God, you're so fucking wet." Castle growled as he parted her folds to see them glistening with her arousal, his breath skating over her, causing her to squirm, especially when he purposely blew right onto her clit.

"Castle… please do something…" Kate groaned, bringing her hands up to her breasts, trying to get relief, just a little bit of relief from the tension coiling in her abdomen.

Without warning, Castle's mouth was on her and she was so unprepared for the sudden assault on her body, that she felt her knees start to shake and she had to lean forward, placing her arms on the armrest to hold herself up as Castle sucked her clit into his mouth, flicking his tongue over it repetitively.

Just his mouth on her was almost too much to handle so when he inserted two fingers into her, curling them so they hit the perfect spot, Kate's entire body tensed, the coiling in her abdomen snapping as the pleasure of her orgasm washed over her.

Usually, when Castle felt Kate fall over the edge, he would slow down his ministrations and work her down from her high, but this time when he felt her walls clench around his fingers, he didn't slow down, he just kept going and her first orgasm had barely subsided before she was falling right over the edge again.

Even then, Castle didn't give her any time to recover and instead grabbed her hips, shifting her down his body as he sat up so she was once again straddling him. Knowing what he wanted, Kate lifted her hips as she sealed his mouth to his, waiting until she felt the tip of his cock pressing against her entrance before she sank down onto him, rotating her hips in a circle, pulling him deeper into her as her eyes slipped shut at the feeling of him completely filling her, every nerve ending on her body on fire as she began to slide up and down on him, making sure his hard cock slid almost all the way out of her before plunging back down onto him, her moans and gasps filling the room at the feeling of him completely filling her, hitting all the right spots.

She knew that when he started to meet her movements with thrusts of her own, he was getting close and she was going to have to catch up to him if she wanted to cum together, so she decided that now was as good a time as any to make that little fantasy she described earlier come true.

Without the slightest falter in her movements, Kate ran her hands slowly up her body, watching Castle's eyes darken as he followed them up to her breasts where she slightly began to massage her nipples, tweaking them in between her fingers, her head tilted up towards the ceiling, eyes closed, mouth slightly parted at the sensation her fingers were causing.

Castle's movements were becoming more erratic by the second because while her little show was bringing her closer to the edge, it was also turning Castle on immensely, therefore bringing him closer to the edge faster.

Deciding that it was time for the grand finale, Kate removed one of her hands from her breasts, running it slowly down her body and down between her legs where she began circling her clit, slowly at first, teasing herself and Castle, but it didn't take long before she couldn't keep herself under control and she began to circle her clit faster, her breaths coming faster and faster, both her and Castle's moans filling the room and the next thing she knew, her walls started to flutter and then clenched around Castle, triggering his release and the feeling of him emptying himself into her caused her to throw her head back, screaming his name as the most intense orgasm she ever experienced, washed over her.

By some miracle, Castle managed to continue to thrust, prolonging their orgasms before they both collapsed into a pile of sweaty, tangled, satisfied limbs.

"Wow." Castle said, his chest heaving as he attempted to catch his breath.

"Yeah." Kate said as she molded herself to his side.

"That was…" Castle continued.

"Wow?" Kate asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah." Castle agreed.

After that, they both feel silent, the only sound filling the room being their breathing as they tried to catch their breath, both too mind blown to say anything else.

"So, now that I thoroughly satisfied you to your heart's content once again, share your secrets with me." Castle said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Careful Castle, if that head of yours gets any bigger, you won't be able to fit through the door." Kate chided.

"Which one?" Castle asked and even though she couldn't see him, she could tell he was wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Really Castle? Does your mind ever come out of the gutter?" Kate asked.

"Not when it comes to you. Now quit stalling and spill because I've known Paula for years and I can never get her to change her mind and you've met her what, like two times and you've got her eating out of the palm of your hands." Castle said.

"Like I said before, I gave her on offer she can't refuse." Kate said.

"Which was?" Castle asked.

"I told her that after your hand was healed, I would attend one publicity event of her choice and your next book release party as 'Nikki Heat' which means that I pretty much have to do everything you do, answer questions for the press, schmooze with all the important people, sign books, stuff like that." Kate said with a shrug.

"Seriously?" Castle asked, not even trying to hide his surprise.

"Seriously." Kate said.

"Not that I'm complaining or anything, I am ecstatic that you got me out of this situation, but are you sure about this? I know that you aren't exactly a fan of the attention being with me brings you and if you do what you are planning on doing you are going to be the center of attention, and probably not for just that one night." Castle said.

"I know, but my mom used to tell me that sometimes, when you love someone, you have to do things you don't like because it makes the person you love happy. I have no doubt in my mind that if you left Black Pawn, someone would snatch you and your talents right up, but I also know that you wouldn't be nearly as happy with them as you are with Black Pawn. So if doing something I don't like for a couple hours at an event I would most likely already be going to means that you get to continue to be happy, then to me, that's worth it." Kate said pressing a kiss to his chest.

"You are extraordinary, do you know that?" Castle asked.

"Eh, I've been told that a time or two." Kate said, placing a chaste, loving kiss to his lips before getting up off the couch and holding her hand out to him.

"Where are we going?" Castle asked.

"We both need a shower… and I don't think I'm quite done with you what." Kate said, raking her eyes over his body, a wicked smile growing on her face when she saw his cock twitch slightly.

"You're going to be the death of me, woman." Castle growled.

"You have no idea." Kate said pulling him into the bedroom.

They did eventually make it to the shower, but not before a pit stop on the bed… and against the bathroom door.

By the time they stepped out of the shower a little over two hours later, they were both thoroughly satisfied and more than a little sore. There was a very good chance everyone would know how they spent their weekend when they showed up to work walking a little funny.

As they made their way out of the bedroom, neither of them noticed Martha and Jim standing in the kitchen as Castle, dressed in nothing but boxers, blew raspberries all over Kate's neck, who was also scantily clad, dressed in nothing but a pair of panties and one of Castle's button up shirts, their combined laughter filling the room around them.

It wasn't until their mouth's met in a heated kiss and Castle's hands traveled south, grabbing Kate's ass in full view of her father, that Martha decided it was probably time to announce their presence and cleared her throat, loud enough to break through the lust induced haze the couple was clearly in, watching as they both froze in place at the sound behind them.

As the couple both slowly turned around, their faces turned instantly red at the compromising position they had just been caught in.

"Mother?" Castle squeaked.

"Dad?" Kate choked out.

_**Author's Note: So I don't know about you… but I definitely think it is time Castle and Beckett got new locks;) **_

_**Enjoy and review!**_


	119. Chapter 119

Chapter 119:

"Mother?" Castle squeaked.

"Dad?" Kate choked out.

"Hello darlings! I really must say we have to stop meeting like this." Martha said.

"I feel like there is a story here." Jim said with a quirked eyebrow, looking between his daughter and her fiancé and Martha.

"Oh there is my dear, there definitely is." Martha said with that gleam in her eye that said she fully intended on telling _that_ story.

"Mother." Castle warned.

"Oh relax Richard, we're all adults here, so what if I found you and Katherine on the couch…"

"Mother! Do not finish that sentence." Castle hissed.

"It's okay Martha. I think I have a pretty good idea what happened." Jim said.

"Oh my god. We need to change the locks." Kate mumbled besides him, her entire face turning bright red.

"Mother, not that I'm not delighted to see you and everything, but what are you doing here?" Castle asked.

"Well Richard, I do seem to remember you mentioning that the four of us were going to have dinner this evening to celebrate a certain announcement about the wedding." Martha said.

"Oh right… sorry, we kind of forgot, we uh, had a busy day." Castle said.

"Yes, I can see exactly how busy your day was from your lack of attire and that little show you put on, but surely you could come up for air long enough to remember a dinner that you suggested. I mean, I know you two are young and everything, but all day, really Richard?" Martha asked.

"Mother! Just… stop. That is not what I was talking about." Castle said.

"Then what were you talking about Richard? Because if you ask me, the evidence is not playing in your favor." Martha said.

"I already told you that wasn't what I was talking about Mother. We were busy and that's all you need to know so drop it. Now, I'm sorry we forgot about dinner, but if you give us five minutes to change, we can all go out to dinner." Castle snapped, the anger clear in his voice before he turned on his feet without another word and disappeared into the bedroom leaving Jim, Martha, and Kate standing in the kitchen.

"I should… I'm just… I'll be right back." Kate said, turning to follow Castle into the bedroom, but not before she missed the concern on Martha's face.

She was just about to disappear through the door to Castle's office when against her better judgment, she turned back to Martha, unable to get the image of her concern out of her head.

"Martha just so you know, there's no reason to worry. He's just… emotionally drained from this morning. I was concerned about his hand… so I took him to the hospital not knowing what happened this summer… He… it… happened again, it wasn't as bad as it was this summer because I was there this time, but it was still a rough day for him. I just didn't want you to worry." Kate said watching as understanding and relief washed over Martha's face.

"Thank you Kate. You better go see if he's okay." Martha said with a gentle smile.

"We'll be right out." Kate said before disappearing into the bedroom, closing the door behind her, the click of the door falling into the place sounding throughout the apartment.

"Martha?" Jim asked hesitantly.

"Yes dear?" Martha asked, turning to look at him only to be greeted with a concerned gaze.

"What was Katie talking about? With all that talk about something happening again, but it not being as bad as this summer because Katie was there even though she didn't really seem to know what was going on. Is there something wrong with Rick? Is he sick?" Jim asked, the concern clear in his voice.

"No, no, no, there's nothing to worry about my dear. After Richard and Katherine had a falling out this summer when he was in the hospital after the shooting…"

"Wait, they had a falling out?" Jim asked, more than genuinely surprised. This was the first time he was hearing about this.

"Yes dear. Something about Richard seeing that doctor propose to Kate so he asked her to leave because seeing her date another man was one thing, but knowing they were going to get married was just too much, except Kate had said no to the doctor so when Richard asked her to leave, she thought it was because he was upset with her for what happened at the funeral. It was a huge misunderstanding." Martha said.

"Of course, go on." Jim said.

"I wasn't filled in on the situation until about two weeks after it happened, but according to Richard, almost immediately after Katherine left the hospital because of their little falling out, he started to have minor panic attacks during the night when he was left alone with his own thoughts. Being a writer, he has quite the active imagination so he would start thinking about the fact that there was still a sniper out there who obviously wanted Katherine dead and then it would build from there into all the different ways he would get to her and he couldn't help but worry over the fact that she might need help and no one would know and there was nothing he could do about it because he was in the hospital. Fortunately, they were only minor for the first few days or so because Katherine was still at the precinct so he could get regular updates on how she was doing, but then…" Martha began only to once again be interrupted by Jim.

"She went to the cabin and disappeared for a month and a half." Jim said.

"Exactly. After that, his panic attacks got progressively worse because he had no way of knowing if Katherine was okay or not because no one had heard from her. Eventually, they got so bad, he had to be sedated at night so he would sleep. The problem with that was his panic attacks now transformed into nightmares about Katherine getting shot and dying and everyone blaming him and because he was sedated, he couldn't wake himself up so it just played over and over in his mind all night. Then when he finally did wake up, he would have that image burned into his brain and once again have no way of finding out if Katherine was okay. When he got out of the hospital, the panic attacks and nightmares slowly got better because he was able to distract himself when he felt one coming on. Unfortunately, the first time he went back to the hospital after being released to get a checkup, the memories from his stay in the hospital made him anxious and then when a young woman was brought in via ambulance covered in blood, it just pushed him over the edge and he had a full blown panic attack. From there on out, he had private visits at home and refused to go back to a hospital, apparently until now." Martha said.

"Has he ever thought about talking to someone about it?" Jim asked.

"Not that I know of. I wouldn't have even know if the doctor hadn't filled me in one night when I came to the hospital to find him sedated. I know his doctor suggested that he consider talking to a therapist, but surprisingly out everything that Richard does believe in, therapists aren't one of them. I tried to get him to open up to me, but he would always get defensive whenever I brought it up." Martha said.

"Well, why I think that talking to a therapist could be beneficial for him, at least he has Katie now to help him through it." Jim said.

"I couldn't have said it better myself, if I know Richard, and I'm pretty sure I do, the one person he will open up to about this is Katherine, who also happens to be the only person who could actually go get him to see a therapist if she felt it was necessary. I have to say though, I'm surprised you don't already know at least the part about the fall out they had. Didn't Katherine call you about using the cabin?" Martha asked.

"She did, but she told me it was because she wanted to get Rick out of the city for a little while. After Katie's mom died, I wasn't there for her like I should have been, especially when it was a time in her life when she needed me most. I know that she forgave me a long time ago, but she has and will never forget what I did to her so she keeps things close to her heart. For a long time, she only told me insignificant little details about her life whenever we would talk, and while that has gotten a lot better over the years, mostly thanks to Rick, she still refuses to tell me a lot of the things that happen in her personal life, especially when it comes to Rick." Jim said.

"Richard is the same way when it comes to Katherine. Before he met Kate, there was little he wouldn't tell me, especially when it came to who he was seeing, but when Kate came into his life, that all changed. He still tells me everything about every other part of his life, but when it comes to Kate, he keeps that aspect of his life to himself. That's how I knew that it was serious and Kate was different than the other women he had been with. He had no qualms about sharing the intimate details of his other relationships, but with Kate, he finally realized that he wanted what happened between them to stay between them because it was nobody else's business but their own." Martha said as they heard the bedroom door open.

"Those two are quite the pair." Jim said, watching the couple walk across the room towards them.

"Everything okay?" Jim asked, watching them with a look that made Kate slightly uneasy… almost like he knew… but he couldn't know, could he? Would Martha tell him something that really isn't any of his business?

"Everything is fine dad." Kate said, giving him a look that clearly told him to keep whatever he may or may not know to himself.

"So Kate and I were thinking we could go to that little Italian joint down the road if that's okay with you two?" Castle asked as he made his way over to the closet by the front door to get their coats before making his way back over and helping Kate into hers before slipping on his own.

"I'm good with anywhere that serves food." Jim said.

"And I'm good with anywhere that serves wine." Martha chipped in.

"Of course you are mother." Castle said with a twinkle in his eye that said all was forgiven and judging by the smile that appeared on Martha's face, she knew exactly what he was trying to say.

"We better get going so we don't get caught in the dinner rush." Kate said, holding out the keys for Castle to take.

"You want me to drive?" Castle asked, looking at the keys in her outstretched hand with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Yes?" Kate asked, confusion etched on her face.

"You never let me drive." Castle said, looking up at her with surprise written all over his face.

"Well if you don't want to…" Kate said as she slowly began to pull the keys back.

"No, no, I want to." Castle said, snatching the keys out of her hand.

"Are you two always like this?" Jim asked, even though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer to that.

"Yes." They answered at the same time, unable to stop the smiles that broke out on their faces.

"That was just a little creepy." Jim said.

"Spend a week with them dear, you'll get used to it. Now… since we've figured out who's driving, can we head out? I'm famished!" Martha said.

"Anything for you mother." Castle said as he slipped his hand into Kate's and led them to the door.

As they made their way towards the elevator, Jim kept his eyes on Katie and Rick and despite the uneasy feeling he got earlier before he knew what was going on, he now knew one thing was true.

As long as Katie and Rick had each other, they would be just fine.

_**Author's Note: Well there you go. I'm sorry it took so long to post this chapter, for some reason, it just wasn't working the way I wanted it to, but thanks to **_theputz913 _**I was able to get my head on straight and get it working properly. **_

_**Next chapter we will see the dinner so don't worry, I just knew I wasn't going to have time to write it tonight and I wanted to get you guys something to read since you've all been waiting patiently. **_

_**Enjoy and Review!**_

_**P.S. If you are looking for some other fanfics to read, I highly suggest you go read **__A Lost Castle in the Golden Triangle by AussieRulz32. __**He is a great friend of mine and his writing is phenomenal. It's got a little bit of angst, a whole lot of adventure and of course what everybody loves most… Caskett! **_


	120. Chapter 120

Chapter 120:

_**Note: Just a quick note, this chapter will go back in time briefly to the conversation Kate and Rick had in the bedroom while Martha was filling Jim in on what is happening and then I will pick right back up where we left off in the last chapter. Enjoy!**_

"Martha just so you know, there's no reason to worry. He's just… emotionally drained from this morning. I was concerned about his hand… so I took him to the hospital not knowing what happened this summer… He… it… happened again, it wasn't as bad as it was this summer because I was there this time, but it was still a rough day for him. I just didn't want you to worry." Kate said watching as understanding and relief washed over Martha's face.

"Thank you Kate. You better go see if he's okay." Martha said with a gentle smile.

Martha didn't need to tell her twice, she didn't know if the memory of what happened today was enough to trigger another attack, but if it was, she knew that he was going to need her there to help him through it.

Making her way into the bedroom, Kate stopped to lean against the door, unable to suppress the smile that appeared at her face at the position she found Castle in. He must have started to get changed because not only did he pull out a change of clothes for dinner, but he had also discarded his Green Lantern boxers and was now lying flat on his stomach on the bed, his bare ass right there on display, which she definitely took a moment to admire, and his face was awkwardly squished into the pillow.

She was pretty sure in that instant, she fell in love with him all over again.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Castle mumbled from the bed.

"Maybe I already did." Kate said, the smirk clear in her voice as she pushed herself off the door, climbing up onto the bed next to Castle, propping herself up on her side.

"Hey." Castle said, turning slightly so he could see her.

"Hey." Kate said with a gentle smile, reaching out to brush his hair out of his face before her fingers tangled into the short hairs at the nape of his neck. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I just… it was hard enough going through it once today… I really didn't want to have to talk about it too. I know I shouldn't have snapped, but she just wouldn't let it go. I hope she isn't too upset." Castle said.

"She wasn't upset, just worried." Kate said.

"Wasn't?" Castle asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"I, uh, kind of told her a brief version of what happened. I knew that you never snap at her like that, so when I saw the concern on her face and I didn't want her to worry. I'm sorry if I overstepped." Kate said.

"No, not all. I'm glad you told her, I didn't want her to worry either. Thank you for looking out for mother." Castle said with a genuine smile.

"Always." Kate said, leaning in to give him a tender kiss.

"You know… this would be about ten times more exciting if you were just as naked as I am right now." Castle suggested as they broke apart, bringing one of his hands up to lightly run his fingers along her neck and exposed collarbone.

"Oh would it now?" Kate purred, running her finger down his chest.

"Y-yes." Castle managed to choke out as he felt a certain… body part start to come to life.

"It does sound like a **very** enticing idea." Kate said, her tongue darting out to lick her lips which were now inches away from Castle's.

"Really?" Castle said, visibly swallowing as his eyes dilated.

"Really… too bad our parents are in the other room." Kate said, pulling away with a smirk on her face.

"Did you really have to mention our parents while I was trying to get you naked?" Castle groaned.

"Sorry, but they are waiting for us to go to dinner and I figured I'd save you a cold shower." Kate said, giving him a light smack on the ass before rolling off the bed and making her way into the closet to pick out an outfit.

"Can't we just cancel… say I'm not feeling good or something?" Castle whined.

"Castle, we are not cancelling dinner with our parents to have sex… especially when your mother thought that's all we've been doing all day." Kate said as she came out of the closet with her clothes wearing nothing but her bra and panties.

"God Kate, you're killing me here." Castle groaned at the sight of her.

"You'll survive." Kate said, leaning over to give him one more lingering kiss. "Now I have to go get ready. If you're a good boy and get dressed and ready to go before I come back out… I'll show you exactly how bad a girl I can be later."

"Tease!" Castle mumbled.

"What was that?" Kate asked, stopping in the doorway to the bathroom.

"Nothing" Castle said with a sheepish look on his face.

"Mhm." Kate said.

Castle knew she didn't believe him, but she obviously didn't care because she disappeared into the bathroom anyway.

The moment he heard the door click into place, he was throwing himself out of bed, throwing on his clothes so that when Kate came out a little over five minutes later.

"Well look at you all ready to go." Kate said with a smirk, walking over and smoothing out his shirt with her hands.

"You make it sound like you didn't think I would be ready in time." Castle said, his eyebrow quirked.

"Oh no. I had no doubt that you'd be ready. I learned a long time ago that you'll do anything to see me naked." Kate said as she leaned up to capture his lips.

She meant for it to be quick, nothing more than a quick peck on the lips, but when she felt Castle's tongue run across her bottom lip, she couldn't help but wrap her arms around his neck and deepen the kiss until they were forced to pull apart due to a lack of oxygen.

"You have no idea how hard it is for me to **not** throw you on the bed right now and have my way with you." Castle growled as they pulled apart.

"Oh, I can feel exactly how_** hard**_it is." Kate said, cupping him through his jeans.

"God woman." Castle groaned, unable to stop his hips from bucking into her hand as he crashed their lips together in another heated kiss.

"We really need to get going." Kate said as they broke apart, her forehead resting on his, their chests heaving as they tried to catch their breaths.

"I know, but let's just stay like this for a little while longer." Castle said.

"We could do that… or we can get this over with. The sooner we leave, the sooner we get back and the sooner we get back, the sooner you **can** throw me on that bed and have your wicked way with me." Kate said.

Without hesitation, Castle grabbed her by the hand and did everything short of dragging her out of the bedroom and Kate couldn't help the huge smile that appeared on her face as they made their way through the living room toward the kitchen where Martha and Jim were waiting for them.

"Everything okay?" Jim asked, watching them with a look that made Kate slightly uneasy… almost like he knew… but he couldn't know, could he? Would Martha tell him something that really isn't any of his business?

"Everything is fine dad." Kate said, giving him a look that clearly told him to keep whatever he may or may not know to himself.

"So Kate and I were thinking we could go to that little Italian joint down the road if that's okay with you two?" Castle asked as he made his way over to the closet by the front door to get their coats before making his way back over and helping Kate into hers before slipping on his own.

"I'm good with anywhere that serves food." Jim said.

"And I'm good with anywhere that serves wine." Martha chipped in.

"Of course you are mother." Castle said with a twinkle in his eye that said all was forgiven and judging by the smile that appeared on Martha's face, she knew exactly what he was trying to say.

"We better get going so we don't get caught in the dinner rush." Kate said, holding out the keys for Castle to take.

"You want me to drive?" Castle asked, looking at the keys in her outstretched hand with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Yes?" Kate asked, confusion etched on her face.

"You never let me drive." Castle said, looking up at her with surprise written all over his face.

"Well if you don't want to…" Kate said as she slowly began to pull the keys back.

"No, no, I want to." Castle said, snatching the keys out of her hand.

"Are you two always like this?" Jim asked, even though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer to that.

"Yes." They answered at the same time, unable to stop the smiles that broke out on their faces.

"That was just a little creepy." Jim said.

"Spend a week with them dear, you'll get used to it. Now… since we've figured out who's driving, can we head out? I'm famished!" Martha said.

"Anything for you mother." Castle said as he slipped his hand into Kate's and led them to the door.

As they made their way towards the elevator, Jim kept his eyes on Katie and Rick and despite the uneasy feeling he got earlier before he knew what was going on, he now knew one thing was true.

As long as Katie and Rick had each other, they would be just fine.

What should have been a short trip to the restaurant, ended up taking close to thirty minutes because of an accident so by the time they got to the restaurant it was smack dab at the beginning of the dinner rush.

Luckily, the hostess recognized Castle and was a fan so after a quick autograph and picture, she had a waiter lead them back to a surprisingly private table in the back of the restaurant where he immediately took their order so he could get it into the kitchen before the rush got even worse.

As soon as the waiter left them alone, Martha began to tell them about one of her students at her acting school only to be interrupted by the rather loud hiss of pain that came from Castle when he went to grab his glass of water with his bad hand.

"You okay?" Kate asked, her attention immediately focusing on Castle.

"Yeah, I just didn't realize how sore my hand is." Castle said.

"Well maybe if you didn't use it like the doctor said to then you wouldn't have that problem now, would you?" Kate asked, knowing that he used his hand far more than he should have during their little afternoon rendezvous.

"She's right you know Richard. If you spend less time feeling up Katherine's behind and more time resting your hand, then maybe it wouldn't be sore." Martha said.

"Trust me mother, it still would have been sore even if you hadn't seen me feeling up Kate's behind." Castle said.

"Castle!" Kate hissed, smacking him in the chest as his face turned bright red.

"What?" Castle asked, with faux innocence.

"What exactly happened to your hand Rick?" Jim asked.

"I, uh… sort of punched someone." Castle said.

"A suspect?" Jim asked curiously.

"No. This was more of a personal matter." Castle said nervously.

When Jim didn't say anything, just sat there, looking at him with a look that said go on, Castle turned to Kate, desperately asking for help.

"He punched Josh dad. We went to have lunch the other day and he was there. He has been trying to talk to me for a while, so when he saw us he came over and wouldn't leave us alone until he got the chance to talk. In the end, we ended up leaving, but before we could he said some things about me that he shouldn't have, Rick punched him, and now he has two minor fractures in his hand. End of story." Kate said in a tone that made it clear this conversation was over, but Jim was having none of it, the second he heard that Josh had said something about his daughter that he shouldn't have his fatherly instincts kicked in.

"What did he say?" Jim asked, a little more anger in his voice than he intended.

"Nothing dad, don't worry about it." Kate said, trying to deflect.

"Katie, tell me what he said." Jim said in a tone Kate had only heard once before and unfortunately for Kate, it was also a tone that she could never say no to.

"With my permission, Castle told him what happened to mom, among other things. When Castle was done telling Josh, we got up to leave. That's when Josh decided to open up his mouth and said that he understands that the only reason I was with Castle was because he was the only one who would deal with my pathetic, messed up ass and all my baggage." Kate said, avoiding eye contact with her father, shooting Castle a gentle smile when he reached across the table and took her hand in his.

Jim was silent for a few seconds, looking back and forth between Castle and Kate before finally settling on Castle.

"Did you get him good?" Jim asked.

"Yes sir." Castle said.

Jim just nodded and that was that.

The rest of the meal was much lighter, filled with Martha telling them about her latest party, Jim sharing with them his plans to head up to the cabin for the week, and Kate telling them about the wedding.

Castle, however, just sat there and listened. He was pretty sure that if he spoke more than one word, his voice would come out as a squeak. Half way through the meal, Castle felt Kate's sock clad foot start to run up his leg, getting dangerously higher by the second. At one point she even had the audacity to press her foot against his growing erection, causing Castle to jerk and hit the table, earning looks from Jim and Martha, while Kate took a bite of her dinner, trying to hide her smirk.

Long story short, by the end of dinner, Castle quickly took care of the check and after saying their goodbyes to Martha and Jim, he literally did drag her to the car this time by her hand in a rush to get home.

"Gee Castle, if I didn't know better, I would say you had some where to be." Kate said with a smirk.

"Oh I do." Castle growled.

"And where exactly is that?" Kate asked.

"Right here." Castle said with an evil smirk as he reached over and ran his hand up the inside of her thigh before cupping her between her legs, his palm pressing into her throbbing clit.

Needless to say… Kate pretended not to notice the fact that Castle was going ten miles over the speed limit all the way home.

_**Author's Note: Tada! Hope you enjoyed;) **_

_**I kept it how it was, but would you guys like to see anything more with the Martha/Jim/Castle/Beckett story line in terms of the panic attacks in the hospital? If so let me know. **_

_**Enjoy and Review!**_


	121. Chapter 121

Chapter 121:

When Kate was woken up the next morning by the incessant beeping of her alarm, she had to fight every urge in her body to pick it up and throw it against the wall just to make it stop.

Rolling over, which was difficult since the arm Castle has wrapped around her waist instinctively tightened, she blindly searched around the night stand until she found the alarm and switched it off, the bedroom once again silent.

"Morning." Castle mumbled, pulling her back into his chest, nuzzling his nose into her hair, the overwhelming scent of cherries washing over him, bringing a soft smile to his face.

"Good morning." Kate said, turning around so she was facing Castle, placing a kiss to the underside of his jaw before burying her face into the crook of his neck.

"What time is it?" Castle asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Sevenish." Kate said.

"Ugh, you couldn't let me sleep a little longer, especially since you woke me up in the middle of the night?" Castle groaned.

"I didn't hear you complaining last night." Kate said.

"And I'm definitely not complaining right now, but if you're going to wake a man up in the middle of the night for some incredibly hot sex, the least you can do is let said man sleep longer than seven." Castle said.

Kate just rolled her eyes.

"Go back to sleep you big baby." Kate said, pressing one more kiss to his jaw before rolling out of bed.

"Wait, where are you going?" Castle asked, trying to grab her hand to pull her back in bed, but she was too fast.

"I have to go to work." Kate said, making her way into the closet.

"You mean we have to go to work." Castle corrected.

"No, I mean I have to go to work. As much as I want you there, Gates would just send you home again because of your hand and I have to say I agree, the last thing you need to do is hurt yourself even more." Kate said.

"But what am I supposed to do while you're gone? I can't write, I can't type, and I can't play video games… I'm going to be bored out of my mind." Castle whined, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, use that imagination of yours." Kate said, pressing a kiss to his lips before disappearing into the bathroom.

When Kate came out of the bathroom thirty minutes later, she was surprised to see that Castle wasn't in bed anymore, she thought for sure he would have gone back to sleep.

Making her way out of the bedroom, she found Castle in the kitchen getting her coffee together.

"I thought you said you were going back to sleep?" Kate asked as she stepped into her shoes.

"I tried, but you weren't there so I couldn't." Castle said with a shrug like it was completely normal that he could no longer sleep if she wasn't there and honestly, it was normal, at least for them… she couldn't sleep if he wasn't there either.

"Flattery will get you nowhere Mr. Castle." Kate said as she slipped into her coat.

"It's not flattery if it's the truth, Detective." Castle said as he handed her coffee cup to her.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself all day or do I need to find a babysitter for you?" Kate asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"No, I don't need a babysitter, unless that babysitter is you and if it is, I've been a very naughty boy. Maybe you should spank me." Castle suggested, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"And on that note, it's time for me to go to work." Kate said, turning to head to the door, only to be stopped by Castle's hand closing around her wrist, pulling her back into his chest.

"Are you sure you don't want to take me with you?" Castle asked, putting on his best sad puppy dog look.

"Rick, of course I want to take you with me. You're my partner and I don't like going to work when I know you aren't going to be there in your chair next to my desk, watching me, spinning your crazy theories, just being you, but even though I want you there, you know as well as I do that the moment you step into that precinct with your hand like it is, Gates is just going to send you right back home. If you hurt yourself even more than you already are, it is going to look bad for Gates and the precinct and you know that if you make her look bad, she is going to get rid of you for good." Kate said.

"I know, but what am I supposed to do all day without you." Castle whined.

"Castle, you're a bestselling author, use your imagination. Just whatever you do, don't burn down the loft, kay?" Kate asked.

"Kay. I'll miss you." Castle said, trying to put a genuine smile on his face as he tightened his grip on her. If it were anyone else, she would think they were just putting on a show because honestly, who didn't like to spend some time alone every now and then, but she knew Castle and that's how she knew he was honestly upset about having to spend the day alone, he was the type of person who needed to be surrounded by other people constantly and when he wasn't able to be around people, his mood changed drastically. She just hoped she could get home before he went into complete depression mode.

"I'll miss you too." Kate said, leaning in to give him a goodbye kiss before making her way to the door.

Castle knew he was being silly, he would see Kate later that night, it's not like she was leaving forever, but even so, he couldn't stop himself from following her to the door and watching her go, lingering until he saw the elevator doors shut, adding a sense of finality to the fact that he was definitely going to have a long, lonely day.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there staring at the closed elevator doors, but he figured it probably wasn't appropriate to be standing in the hall wearing nothing but boxer shorts so he made his way back into the loft and to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast.

Ever since Kate moved in, she has taken over breakfast duties since she is usually up first. Unfortunately, she refused to make him smorelettes so it's been awhile since he's had the delectable treat. But not today, today he was going to eat his favorite breakfast food to his heart's content.

Turning on some music, pulling all the ingredients out of the fridge, and putting on his 'Kiss the Chef" apron, he got to work and in a matter of no time, he had to smorelettes oozing with chocolate. Grabbing his plate and the glass of milk he poured himself, he made his way into his study. He may not be able to write, but he could at least check his email and fan sites for anything new happening in the world of Richard Castle, author extraordinaire.

It turned out to be a bust though. There wasn't anything worth reading on his fan sights and the only thing in his inbox were emails from Paula ranging from upcoming events she would like him to consider attending, updated deadlines for his next novel, and even an email urging him to rehire Gina because the publisher he hired was a complete dumbass, which went straight to the trash.

It was no secret that Castle liked to be surrounded by people and noise. He absolutely hated being alone, especially when he had absolutely nothing to do to distract him, it just put him in a bad mood. When he glanced at the clock to see that it had only been thirty minutes since Kate had left for work, he knew he was in trouble. Unless he found something to do soon, his mood was going to continue to get worse to the point where he would be completely miserable by the time Kate got home.

After cleaning up the mess he made in the kitchen while making breakfast, he made his way into his bedroom to take a shower. Grabbing a pair of faded jeans and a t-shirt, he went to make his way to the bathroom, only to stop when he caught sight of the shirt hanging on the back of the door. It was the blue button up shirt Kate had gotten in the habit of wearing to bed and it still smelled like her. Yeah, he was definitely going to wear that today.

Twenty minutes later, Castle stepped out of the shower to hear is phone going off. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he made his way out to the bedroom to see that he had a picture message from Esposito.

He wasn't entirely sure why Esposito was sending him a picture, that was until he opened it. It waspicture of Kate sitting at her desk and to anyone else, it would appear as if everything was fine, but Castle could see differently, even in the low quality picture, he could see the tension radiating off her body, the way her face was taut with annoyance and he knew exactly why. Sitting next to her desk in HIS chair was none other than Tom Demming.

**Castle: What is he doing there? **

**Esposito: Apparently, he has plans of transferring to homicide. He has been her for an hour going on and on about how he would make a better partner than that "writer playing cop".**

**Castle: Can't Gates get rid of him? He's clearly keeping Beckett from her work. **

**Esposito: Are you kidding? Gates is the one that invited him up to talk to Beckett. She WANTS Demming to be Beckett's partner because that means she can get rid of you. **

Dammit. He's gone for one day and Gates is already trying to get rid of him and to make it worse she is trying to replace him with _Tom. _

No. He wasn't going to let this happen. He knew from the picture that Kate didn't want him as her partner any more than he did, but that didn't matter.

He stood around and watched as Demming swooped in and stole Kate right out from under him and it nearly killed him.

He wasn't going to just stand around, not this time.

He was going to get his chair back.

_**Author's Note: Dun Dun Dun! What's going to happen? Will Gates be there? Will she kick him out before he gets the chance to claim what's rightfully his? What do you guys think? How should Castle get HIS chair back, how do you think he should let Demming know that he is Kate's partner and that's never going to change? Let me know!**_

_**Enjoy and Review!**_


	122. Chapter 122

Chapter 122:

Castle spent the entire cab ride to the precinct fuming over what Esposito told him. He hadn't even been gone for an entire day yet and Tom Demming was not only trying to join the homicide department, but replace him as Kate's partner. What made him even angrier was the face that Gates was the one behind this in some misguided quest to get him removed from the precinct permanently. He just didn't get it, he didn't understand what he had to do. He had proven time and time again that he is a valuable asset to this tem whether he is a cop or not. All Gates had to do was look at the closure rates from before he arrived and the closure rates from after he arrived to see that she really had no excusable reason to get rid of him.

By the time he got to the precinct, he was so pissed off that he didn't even hesitate when he made his way to the stairs instead of the elevator, taking them two at a time all the way up to the homicide floor. It wasn't until he stepped into the bullpen that he started to think that maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Ryan and Esposito were the first ones to notice him. Fortunately, they kept their greetings silent, knowing that Beckett wasn't going to be pleased to see him here when she specifically told him to stay home, especially when the only reason he was here was to "stake his claim" on her, which she hated. Detective Kate Beckett was not one to be "claimed". Unfortunately, Karpowski walked by right at that moment and her loud "Hey Castle" definitely got Beckett's attention and boy was she not happy to see him. If looks could kill he would be on his way down to the morgue to pay Lanie a visit in a body bag.

But he was standing his ground. He was going to finish what he came here to do, especially when he saw Demming's smirk when Kate pulled him into the break room by his ear.

"Apples! Apples! Apples! Was that really necessary?" Castle asked, rubbing his now sore ear.

"It wouldn't be necessary if you stayed home like I said. Is this all one big joke to you? Do you want to get kicked out? God Castle, does our partnership really mean that little to you?" Kate asked, her arms crossed over her chest protectively.

"Kate, of course I don't want to get kicked out. You know this partnership means that world to me." Castle said, his face softening as he took a step toward her.

"Then please go home Castle before Gates comes back and really does kick you out for good." Kate pleaded.

"I can't go home Kate. It's going to be close to a month before I'm cleared and by then I'll no longer have a partner to come back to if I leave now." Castle said.

"Castle, you will always be my partner. Always." Kate said.

"That might have been true, but it's not anymore, not with Demming sticking his nose where it doesn't belong." Castle said.

"What does Demming have to do with this?" Kate asked.

"Everything. Demming has everything to do with this." Castle said.

"Castle, quit with the dancing around. What the hell is going on?" Kate asked.

"I don't know why Demming told you he was here, but it was probably a lie. He apparently approached Gates and expressed an interest in transferring to the homicide department and he also set his sights on you for his partner if he is allowed to transfer. That's why Gates is allowing him to sit out there in my chair and bug you all morning. No matter what I do, no matter how obvious it is that I'm valuable to this team, I will always be just a "writer playing cop" to her and she will always want me gone. With Demming in the picture, who just so happens to be an actual cop, it will make it that much easier for her to get rid of me, especially when I'm not going to be here for the next month because of my hand. I just… I know it's not the same as last time, that even if I'm not your partner anymore, you'll still come home to me at the end of the night, but god Kate, I just can't sit around and do nothing, not this time. Don't get me wrong, it hurt to see you with Demming romantically, probably more than I was willing to admit at the time, but what hurt even more was watching him replace me as your partner, that… that nearly killed me. Like I said, I know this isn't the same as last time, I get that, I really do, but I can't lose this Kate, I just can't, not without a fight. I can't put into words how much this partnership means to me and that's saying something since I'm a best-selling author, but this partnership… it's allowed me to make a difference in this world, an actual difference. That's something I never thought I would be able to do. I know that I'm a writer, I know that my words have helped people, I'm not trying to take away from that, especially since one of those people was you, but that doesn't even begin to compare to this, to what I have been able to do here, what we have been able to do here. I can't lose this Kate, I can't. This has become so much more than just research, it had become a part of who I am, just like it's a part of who you are. If you really want me to, I will turn around and walk right back out those doors without saying a word to Demming, I will, but I hope you don't ask me that, I hope you understand how much this means to me and why I need to make a stand, right here, right now." Castle said.

There was two things Kate was absolutely sure of. She knew that Castle would keep her word, if she asked, Castle would leave right now and go home without saying a word to Demming even though she knew he honestly believed that would mean the end of their partnership. She also knew that she couldn't say no, not to this.

"Okay." Kate said with a nod.

"Really?" Castle asked, the surprise clear on his face like he actually expected her to send him home.

"Really Castle. I don't care if you aren't a cop and Gates shouldn't care either, you are my partner, simple as that and you've proven that time and time again, enough is enough." Kate said.

"You are extraordinary." Castle said, his face breaking out into a huge grin as he pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her.

"So I've heard." Kate said, wrapping her arms around his waist, her head tucked perfectly under his chin since she didn't wear heals today.

"We should probably get back out there. I don't think it would help my case very much if Gates found us in here like this when you are supposed to be working." Castle said, even though he made no attempt to move from their embrace.

"We probably should." Kate said, even as she buried her nose deeper into his chest, unable to stop herself from inhaling deeply, the scene of his cologne washing over her, bringing a smile to her face.

"You just smelled me!" Castle exclaimed, his voice filled with nothing but delight.

"Shut up." Kate grumbled as she untangled herself from his embrace.

"Wait, where are you going?" Castle asked.

"I have work to do." Kate said as she made her way to the door.

"Oh, right." Castle said, unsure if he should follow or not. She had said okay, but he wasn't sure if she had really meant it or not.

When she didn't feel Castle crowding her back like he usually did when they left the break room, she turned around in the doorway, the door halfway open, to see Castle standing in the same place she had just left him in, looking unsure as to whether or not he should follow her or not.

"You coming Castle?" Kate asked, her eyes quirked, a small smile on her face.

"Yeah." Castle said, an eye crinkling grin appearing on his face as he crowded into her back.

Making their way back into the bullpen, Kate completely ignored the fact that Demming was setting up a murder board for a cold case and took a seat at her desk, immediately getting started on the stack of paperwork that was sitting on her desk. Sinking into his own chair next to Kate's desk, Castle quickly scanned the information that Demming had put up, a smirk appearing on his face when he realized that the reason Demming couldn't put the pieces together was because he was trying to solve a murder when the case he had was clearly a suicide and judging by the smirk on Kate's face when he glanced over at her, she was more than aware of this.

With a soft chuckle, Castle pulled out his phone and was soon distracted by the world of angry birds. Kate and Castle were both so caught up in what they were doing, that they didn't realize that Demming had finally realized they were back until he cleared his throat.

"You're in my chair." Demming said, looking directly at Castle with what Castle could only guess was hatred.

"Actually, you were in my chair so thanks for keeping it warm for me, but I'm here now so you can just head on back to robbery where you belong." Castle said, topping it off with a shooing motion.

"If anyone's leaving, it's going to be you, you're not even a cop." Demming said.

"Demming, Demming, Demming, cut the act. We all know why you are here and I'm going to tell you now, it's never going to happen. I am and will always be Kate's partner so you might as well stop wasting your time." Castle said.

"You're the one wasting your time. Your connections with the mayor aren't going to help you this time. Besides, I'm sure that Kate is dying to get rid of you." Demming said.

"If she was dying to get rid of me, then why are we engaged?" Castle asked.

"You're not engaged, she doesn't have a ring on." Demming pointed out.

"Yes, well she has a ring. Where's your ring?" Castle asked, turning to look at Beckett.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? We aren't getting married anymore, I'm running off with Eddie." Kate said.

"Eddie? As in the doorman, Eddie?" Castle asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know, I have a thing for the older men. You're old and everything, just not as old as Eddie." Kate said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Just for that, you can get your own coffee." Castle said, crossing his arms like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum.

Kate just rolled her eyes and opened her top desk drawer, pulling out her engagement ring and slipping it back on her finger.

"Are you happy now? As you can see Detective Demming, we are engaged so no, I am not dying to get rid of him… you on the other hand." Kate said, trailing off.

"See not even Kate wants you here, nobody wants you here." Castle said.

"That's where you're wrong, Gates wants me here and she is the only one that matters." Demming said.

"Yeah, well frankly, I don't give a rat's ass what Gates wants." Castle said.

"Castle!" Kate hissed, her eyes wide with panic.

"What?" Castle asked, noticing that Kate wasn't looking at him, but rather behind him.

Turning around he felt his heart drop to his stomach when he saw Gates standing there and she did not looked pleased.

"Mr. Castle." Gates said, staring at him with an icy glare.

"Captain." Castle said.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Castle? Detective Beckett informed me that you would not be coming in for the foreseeable future because you broke your hand." Gates said.

"Yes, but that was before I found out that you were using my absence to get rid of me and replace me with Detective Demming. Oh, and between you and I, he does not have the skills to work homicide. He sat there for a good half an hour staring at the murder board and I'm pretty sure he still hasn't figured out that it was a suicide." Castle stage whispered, his insides to cartwheels when he saw Demming's entire face go beat red.

"Mr. Castle, that is enough, you are in my precinct and I expect you to show me some respect." Gates ordered.

"I'm going to be completely honest here Captain because I'm tired of this bullshit. You don't deserve my respect, simple as that. From the moment you walked in here, you've had it out for me, just wrote me off as some writer playing cop, never even gave me the chance to prove myself. Well, I've got some news for you _sir_, if you just got your head out of your ass, you would realize that I have proven myself on multiple occasions and if you don't believe me, just look at the numbers, look at the file I know you have where Montgomery tells you I am an irreplaceable asset to this team, where Special Agent Jordan Shaw tells you that I make this team better, hell, just ask the people I work with. Nobody else cares whether I'm a cop or just a writer because I bring something to this team. You are the only one that doesn't see that, you are the only one who sticks to her original judgment that a writer can't be good for your precinct even though the evidence is right there. You don't have to like me because frankly, I don't like you, but it's time for you to realize that whether you like me or not, I'm Beckett's partner and I'm not going anywhere." Castle said.

When Castle was done with his rant, you could hear a pin drop in the precinct. By now, everyone has stopped what they were doing and were watching the exchange, all holding their breaths, waiting for Iron Gates to respond.

"Mr. Castle, you've taken it a step too far and as you've pointed out multiple times in your little hissy fit, you are not a cop, therefore I do not have to allow you to remain here as a consultant, despite your connections. Your partnership with Detective Beckett is over, effective immediately. I want you out of my precinct and if I ever see you within fifty feet of this place, I will have you arrested. Do I make myself clear?" Gates asked.

"Yes, sir." Castle hissed, his jaw clenched, fire raging in his eyes.

"Very well. Everybody else get back to work. Detective Demming, Detective Beckett, I would like to see you in my office to go over your new partnership." Gates said, turning on her heels.

Up until that point, Beckett had been quiet, watching everything fall apart in front of her, but when Gates said that she would be getting a new partner, something snapped inside of her and she made a split second decision.

"No." Kate said.

"Excuse me?" Gates said.

"With all due respect sir, I don't need a new partner, I already have one." Kate said.

"Yes, well as you just witnessed, that 'partner' is no longer allowed to step foot into this precinct, so yes, you do need a new partner, now let's go." Gates said.

"If he goes, I go." Kate said, standing her ground.

"Kate, don't do this, it's not worth losing your job over." Castle whispered. This was never his intention, he doesn't want Kate to lose her job just because he decided to stand his ground.

"It's okay Rick. You made your stand, I'm making mine. I don't want to work another day in this precinct if you aren't by my side." Kate said, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek, a small smile on her lips and Castle was surprised, he always said that Kate's eyes were what gave her away when she was lying and as she looked into her eyes now, she saw nothing but honesty.

"Detective Beckett, you're making a big mistake." Gates warned.

"No sir, the mistake was letting this go on for as long as it did. Rick is my partner and it doesn't matter to me or anyone else whether or not he is a cop because he has proved time and time again that he knows what he is doing and that he would make one of the best damn cops ever to walk through the doors to the twelfth precinct and I guarantee you, everyone here will agree because he has made us all better. So the decision is yours sir, either we both stay or we both go." Kate said.

"Very well then. I'll need your badge and your gun. I will have Detective Esposito or Detective Ryan clean up your desk and bring you your things." Gates said, taking Kate's gun and badge and disappearing into her office, Demming following close behind.

"Kate?" Castle asked hesitantly, not entirely sure what just happened.

Kate just turned to him with a small smile on her face and held out her hand.

"Come on Castle, let's go home." Kate said as Castle slipped his hand into hers.

As the dynamic duo stepped into the elevator, hand in hand, for the very last time, what they saw as the doors slid shut, took their breaths away.

All their fellow officers were standing in two rows, their hands raised in salute letting Castle and Beckett know that while they may no longer work there, they will always belong at the twelfth precinct.

_**Author's Note: Please don't kill me? **_

_**I promise you that this is not the end of the story, by a long shot, and I promise you that Kate and Castle will be back at the precinct eventually. **_

_**I mean come on, do you think the mayor is going to be pleased when he finds out that not only did Gates get rid of Richard Castle but also the best homicide detective in NY? Yeah, no. So stay tuned!**_

_**Enjoy and Review!**_


	123. Chapter 123

Chapter 123:

When it came to Kate, Castle usually knew exactly what was going through her mind. After spending almost every day with her for the past four years, he could read her like an open book and always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better, but right now, after everything that just happened, he was at a loss for words.

What could he possibly say to make this situation better? Kate just lost her job all because of him, all because he just had to stand up to Gates when she wanted to kick him out of a place he doesn't even work.

He just… he had no idea what to do and it didn't help anything when he glanced over at Kate to see that she had a blank expression on her face so he had no idea how she felt about everything that just happened.

With one final glance in Kate's direction as they stepped off the elevator, he decided that he didn't want to make the situation any worse than it already was so he was going to do what any man looking to avoid a night on the couch would do… he was going to keep his mouth shut.

He didn't say a word when the guard at the front desk gave them a solemn nod, suggesting that the news about what happened had already spread. He didn't say a word when Kate went to get into the Crown Vic, only to slam the door shut when she remembered that it was no longer her vehicle since it was property of the New York Police Department, which she no longer worked for. He didn't even say a word when the doorman at his building greeted them with a cheerful 'Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle'. He just kept his mouth shut, gave him a nod, and followed Kate into the elevator and up to the loft.

When Kate slipped out of her coat and shoes and disappeared into the bedroom without a single word, Castle went to follow her only to stop in his tracks when the realization that she might want to be alone popped into his head and he was suddenly unsure if he should follow her or not.

Thankfully, the decision was made for him when he felt his phone go off in his pocket, the ringtone he set for Alexis filling the room.

"Hey Pumpkin, what can I do for you?" Castle asked as he plopped down on the couch.

"Who says I want anything? Can't a daughter just call her father for a nice friendly chat?" Alexis asked.

"Ah, but you see my dear daughter, even if you did just call for a friendly chat, you still called wanting something therefore my statement is valid." Castle said.

"I don't know how Kate puts up with you, dad." Alexis said.

"You wound me, daughter. Just for that, I'm not picking you up from the airport in a few days." Castle said.

"That's okay, Kate will come get me and we will go get ice cream to celebrate my return without you." Alexis said.

"I can't believe you would choosing Kate over the person that raised you." Castle said, adding a few sniffs for dramatic effect.

"Dad, that argument doesn't really work when everyone knows you'd choose Kate over the person who raised you too." Alexis said.

"Touché daughter, touché." Castle said and honestly, he couldn't really argue with that because while he loved his mother, how could he not choose Kate.

"Anyway, I was calling to see if you could change my flight so I can come home tomorrow?" Alexis asked.

"Sure pumpkin, but why do you want to come home early, did something happen?" Castle asked, the concern clear in his voice.

"No, everything's fine dad. I was originally going to hang out with some friends for a few days, but one of them got asked to work this weekend so she is leaving early and the other's mom just went into labor with her little brother so she had to head home too. I would stay, but there isn't really anyone here to hang out with anymore so I just thought I'd come home early." Alexis said.

"Sounds like a plan." Castle said.

"Is Kate still going to come with you to the airport? I know that she was originally planning on it, but she probably has work tomorrow right?" Alexis asked.

"Uh, she doesn't have work, but I'm not sure if she will be coming to the airport." Castle said.

"Well, can you ask her? I thought that I could maybe make reservations for that really good Italian place that's right by the airport." Alexis said.

"Uh, she's not exactly talking to me at the moment, pumpkin." Castle said.

"Dad, what did you do?" Alexis huffed.

"What makes you think I did something?" Castle asked, slightly offended that she would just assume that it was his fault, though to be fair, it usually was and it was in this situation too.

"Dad…" Alexis warned.

"Fine. Kate kind of lost her job because of me and now I think she is mad at me." Castle said.

"You think?" Alexis asked, the skepticism clear in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm not entirely sure. She didn't say anything the entire ride home and I couldn't tell how she was feeling by the look on her face and then when we got home she just disappeared into the bedroom without a word. I haven't seen her since." Castle said.

"Dad, you should have followed her." Alexis scolded.

"I was going to, but then you called and besides, aren't you supposed to give women space when they are mad?" Castle asked.

"Yes, but Kate isn't a typical woman dad, when you give her space, instead of getting over things, she just starts to overthink them and then before you know it things are a lot worse than they were to start with. Just… go give Kate the phone and let me talk to her." Alexis ordered.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Castle asked, even though he was already getting up and making his way toward the bedroom, knowing that no matter how much he argued, he was going to lose this battle with his daughter.

"Yes, dad, I'm sure. Just give Kate the phone so I can fix this mess you created." Alexis huffed.

"Gee, love you too daughter." Castle said, knocking on the bedroom door.

"Castle, this is your bedroom too, you don't have to knock." Kate said as she pulled the door open with what looked like amusement on her face.

"Uh, Alexis wants to talk to you." Castle said, holding out his phone, confusion etched on his face.

"Okay, can you order Chinese while I talk to her, I'm starving?" Kate asked.

"Uh, sure." Castle said before making his way back out into the kitchen as Kate closed the bedroom door again.

The Chinese arrived a little over twenty minutes later and Castle had just finished setting everything out on the coffee table when Kate made her way out of the bedroom with a smile on her face and walked right up to him, grabbed his shirt, and kissed him.

"Uh, not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?" Castle asked a little breathlessly when they pulled apart.

"For giving me space when you thought I needed it." Kate said with a tender smile.

"Oh, wait, thought?" Castle asked, his face scrunching up in confusion.

"Yes, thought. I didn't need space Castle. I'm not mad at you, never was." Kate said, softly caressing his cheek.

"You weren't?" Castle asked, still confused.

"Nope. Why would I be mad at you Castle?" Kate asked.

"Uh, maybe because you lost your job because I couldn't keep my mouth shut." Castle said, the duh clear in his voice.

"Castle, did you ever once ask me to quit my job?" Kate asked.

"No." Castle said

"Were you the one who told Gates that we either both stay or we both go?" Kate asked.

"No." Castle said again.

"Did you do something wrong that would warrant Gates trying to kick you out of the precinct?" Kate asked.

"No, but…" Castle started.

"No. Castle, you had every right to stand up for yourself, I would have done the same if I were you, but that's all you did, you stood up for yourself. The rest? That was me. I am the reason I lost my job, not you. I was the one that gave the Gates the ultimatum and honestly I don't regret it, whether you are a cop or not Castle, you are my partner and if I can't have my partner there with me every day, working side by side, then I don't want to work there, okay?" Kate asked.

"Okay. So you're really not mad at me?" Castle asked.

"Definitely not mad at you Castle, if anything I'm a little turned on by you." Kate said, her eyes darkening slightly.

"Oh yeah?" Castle asked, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smirk.

"Yeah. Watching you stand up to Gates like that, watching you fight for our partnership like that even though you knew it could be the end… total turn on, I wanted to have my wicked way with you right there on my desk, I didn't care who was watching." Kate said, fiddling with a button on his shirt.

"Hmm, well while we might not be able to do it on _your_ desk, we can do it on _mine_." Castle said, his hands coming to her waist as he began to push her backward toward his office.

"What about lunch?" Kate asked, even though she made no move to stop him from what she knew he was planning on doing.

"We'll worry about that later." Castle said as his mouth came down on hers.

And it was later, much later.

After a quick, dirty round on his desk, they stumbled their way to bed where they took their time, exploring each other's bodies, finding all the different places that made the other squirm and writhe underneath them. After that, they fell asleep and when they woke up and decided that they both needed a shower and it was supposed to be just a shower, but a heated look here and a lingering touch there quickly turned into round three. They did eventually make it to the living room to eat, but when Castle dropped a piece of General Tso's Chicken on himself, leaving a trail of sauce between his pecks, Kate couldn't help, but lean over and remove it using her very skilled tongue and before they knew it the food lay forgotten as they took part in round four.

By the time they actually got around to eating, the Chinese wasn't very good from reheating it more than once, but neither one of them really cared.

If you asked them, they would say it was totally worth it.

_**Author's Note: Well there you go, I know this is kind of a filler and kind of short, but I hope you enjoyed it. **_

_**Enjoy and review. **_


	124. Chapter 124

Chapter 124:

It was no secret that the first thing that made Kate fall for Castle was how great of a father he was. When she first dragged him into the interrogation room for the first time, she was honestly crushed when she found out that he was nothing like she thought he would be, but when she saw him with Alexis, when she saw the absolute joy on his face whenever his daughter was around, she knew that this was the man he truly was.

She couldn't help but fall in love with him then and she couldn't help but fall in love with him all over again when he woke her up the next morning. She knew she should have been mad at him since _he_ kept her up well past midnight and _he_ was waking her up after only five hours of sleep, but she just honestly couldn't bring herself to care because how can you possibly be angry when the man you love wakes you up simply because he is so happy to see his daughter that he can't help himself, he just needs to share that joy with someone.

"Hey." Kate said, propping herself up a little on her pillow as a lazy smile appeared on her face.

"Hey." Castle said, his smile growing as he reached out to gently brush the hair out of Kate's face.

"What time is it?" Kate asked, fighting to keep her eyes open which was very difficult since Castle's hand had found its way under her shirt and was now rubbing hypnotizing circles on the small of his back with his thumb, lulling her back to sleep.

"A little after eight." Castle said.

"I take it you've been up for a while?" Kate asked, noticing that he was already showered and dressed.

"Yeah, I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep." Castle said.

"And since you couldn't sleep, you felt the need to wake me up at an ungodly hour after keeping me up late?" Kate asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"I… uh… um…" Castle stammered.

"Relax Castle, I was just kidding." Kate said.

"You are?" Castle asked, the relief clear in his voice.

"Yes Castle. I know you, your daughter is coming home today, of course you are going to be excited, I'm surprised you let me sleep this long to begin with, but Castle?" Kate asked.

"Yeah?" Castle asked.

"If you're expecting me to function today, I'm going to need some coffee." Kate said.

"I think I can handle that. Why don't you go take a shower and I'll make us some breakfast." Castle said.

"Are you saying I smell?" Kate asked, giving him 'the look'

"Nope, you smell like cherries." Castle said with a goofy grin, leaning over to press a kiss to her forehead before disappearing out of the bedroom.

When Kate made her way out of the bedroom twenty minutes later, her face scrunched in confusion when instead of finding Castle making breakfast and coffee, he was slipping into his coat and shoes.

"Castle, where are you going?" Kate asked.

"I forgot that we ran out of coffee and I never got more so I was going to go run down to the coffee shop to get us some and I figured since I'm already there I might as well get us some breakfast instead of going through the trouble of making it." Castle said.

"Don't worry about it, we will just get something at the airport." Kate said, pulling on her shoes and coat.

"You mean you want to leave now? Alexis's plane doesn't get in for a few hours yet." Castle said.

"Castle, if we stay here, you're just going to drive yourself crazy. At least there are things to distract you at the airport, so yes, I want to leave now." Kate said, grabbing the keys to the SUV and making her way to the door.

"_I_ think you want to leave early because _you_ would drive yourself crazy waiting around here. Admit it, you miss my daughter." Castle said, a smirk on his face.

"Is it that obvious?" Kate asked, closing the door and then slipping her hand into his as they made their way to the elevator.

"No, but I know you. You absolutely hate sitting around some place wasting time when there is something else you can be doing so the fact that you are willing to sit around an airport for over two hours speaks volumes, but don't worry, I think it's absolutely adorable." Castle said, pulling her into his side for a moment so he could place a kiss on her cheek, a big, sappy grin taking over his face.

"Shut up." Kate mumbled, even as her own grin took over her face.

"Sorry, no can do. It amazes me every day how much you love Alexis." Castle said.

"Yeah, well it's kind of impossible not to love her." Kate said.

"It's kind of impossible not to love you." Castle said.

"That was cheesy Castle, even for you." Kate said, even though her heart skipped a beat, which she would admit to no one.

"Just because it's cheesy, doesn't mean it's not true." Castle said, placing a tender kiss to her lips.

"Well, then I have to admit it's kind of impossible not to love you too." Kate said.

"I know." Castle said, pulling her off the elevator once they reached the parking garage.

"I could do without the ego though." Kate said.

"Hmm too bad because my ego and I are a packaged deal." Castle said, stealing the keys out of her hand and quickly getting into the car.

They arrived at the airport in no time and just like Kate predicted, between breakfast and walking around all the different shops in the airport, they were able to keep themselves busy and didn't arrive at Alexis's gate until approximately thirty minutes before her plane was due to land and even then the only reason they made their way there was because they were both too excited to stay away any longer.

As people started to make their way off the plane, both of them stood on their tip toes, trying to catch sight of Alexis. Kate was the first one to catch sight of the red hair she would know anywhere.

"Alexis!" Kate called, waving her hands to get her attention.

"Kate!" Alexis called back, her face breaking out into a huge smile as she ran toward her father's fiancé, wrapping her into a huge bear hug, almost managing to knock Kate over.

"Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?" Castle asked, holding his arms open for his daughter, not caring in the slightest that she had run to Kate first.

"Sorry dad. I figured Kate deserved the first hug since she had to put up with you while I was gone." Alexis said with a big teasing grin as she wrapped her arms around her father.

"Gee, love you too, o daughter of mine." Castle said, wrapping his arms around his baby girl with the biggest grin on his face.

"So, how was your flight?" Kate asked, automatically slipping her hand into Castle's as they began to make their way toward the exit.

"It was great. I sat next to this guy that looked exactly like Ryan Reynolds from _The Proposal_." Alexis said.

"Ooh, Ryan Reynolds is _hot._" Kate said.

"Um excuse me, your fiancé is right here." Castle said.

"You didn't let me finish. Ryan Reynolds is hot, but I prefer ruggedly handsome." Kate said, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips.

"Ugh, I hope you two would have gotten over that overly sappy stage while I was gone." Alexis said, rolling her eyes in a very Beckett like manner.

"It's Kate's fault. She's a hopeless romantic." Castle said.

"I wasn't a hopeless romantic before I met you writer-boy." Kate fired back.

"That was cheesy Kate, even for you." Castle said, parroting her previous words back at her.

"You're both cheesy, now can we please get in the car before I get sick from all the cheese." Alexis said, gesturing toward the SUV that had been sitting in front of them for over five minutes.

"You'll understand one day pumpkin. One day, in the very far future, you will meet a guy and you will fall so head over heels in love with him that you'll just start spouting out cheesy lines without a second thought." Castle said, tapping her on the nose before making his way around to the driver's side.

Fortunately for Alexis, Castle was too preoccupied getting his keys out of his pocket and was no longer looking at her. Unfortunately for Alexis, Kate was and she didn't miss the look that crossed the young woman's face that said Castle was in for one hell of a surprise when he found out his daughter had already found that guy, but if there was one thing Kate knew by the way Alexis's eyes widened when she saw Kate watching her, it was that she had no desire for her father to know this new piece of information, at least not yet so with a wink and a gentle smile, Kate silently promised the Alexis that she wouldn't say anything until Alexis was ready.

"Did you get those reservations for that Italian place you wanted to go to, Alexis?" Castle asked once they were all in the car.

"No, they were already booked since I called last minute and I didn't want to throw around the "my father is Richard Castle" card." Alexis said.

"Okay, so the where to ladies?" Castle asked as he pulled into traffic.

"Why don't we head home? We can order in and veg out in our Pajama's for the rest of the day, have a movie marathon. I don't know about you two, but I'm exhausted since someone insisted on waking me up at an ungodly hour and the last thing I want to do is go out anywhere." Kate said.

"That sound good to you pumpkin?" Castle asked Alexis.

"It sounds perfect, but we aren't watching any movies with romance in them, the last thing I want to see is you two lovebirds making out on the couch." Alexis said.

"We'll just pull a blanket up over our heads because I'm pretty sure not even a bloody, gory movie could stop me from making out with Kate on the couch." Castle said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ew! Dad!" Alexis said, pretending to vomit in the back seat.

Kate just laughed and turned around to face Alexis.

"Welcome home Alexis, welcome home."

_**Author's Note: Yay! Alexis is home and I'm pretty sure she is already ready to go back to college with the way Kate and Castle are behaving**___

_**Alright so the next chapter could go one of three ways… 1. We can have an entire chapter devoted to just the movie marathon. 2. We can have an entire chapter devoted to a Kate and Alexis heart to heart about that look Kate had the fortune to see when her dad mentioned finding a guy that would make her sickingly sweet**_ _**or 3. We can have a little bit of movie and a little bit of Alexis and Kate. Let me know!**_

_**Enjoy and Review. **_


	125. Chapter 125

Chapter 125:

Once plans for the rest of the day were made, a comfortable silence settled around them as they slowly made their way home through afternoon traffic.

When the cars in front of him slowed to a stop for the tenth time since they left the airport, Castle glanced over at Kate, a small smile appearing on his face as he watched her fight to keep her eyes open, her head falling forward every time her eyes slid shut before she would jerk awake, refusing to give in.

As adorable as she was, Castle knew that she needed some sleep since she didn't get much the night before and there was no reason she couldn't sleep now, especially since it was going to take a while to get home with how slow traffic was moving.

"Kate babe, go to sleep, stop fighting it." Castle said softly, reaching out to run his fingers lightly through her hair and across her cheek, smiling at the way she automatically pressed into his hand, seeking his touch.

"Don't call me babe." Kate said half-heartedly, turning to look at him through half lidded eyes as she laced their fingers together.

"Sorry love." Castle said with a cheeky grin, knowing that she meant don't call her any pet names at all." But really, go to sleep. It's going to be awhile before we get home and you'll feel better."

"I'm not tired." Kate mumbled as her eyes slid shut momentarily before she forced them open again.

"Kate, you can barely keep your eyes open." Castle said, using the gentle yet stern tone of voice he used to use with Alexis when she refused to go to sleep.

"Just resting my eyes. Don't want to go to sleep, Alexis is home, missed her." Kate slurred and really… how could Castle argue with that? She was clearly exhausted, but was fighting to stay awake just so she wouldn't miss anything while Alexis was home. It made him fall in love with her even more, but even so, he knew he had to get her to sleep now when she wouldn't miss anything otherwise she would fall asleep later when she would.

"You're not going to miss anything Kate, I promise. Besides, Alexis is asleep." Castle said, glancing in the rearview mirror to see his daughter roll her eyes at him before closing her eyes, pretending to be asleep just in case Kate decided to check to see if he was lying. Alexis may not understand her father sometimes, but she was willing to play along if it was relatively harmless.

"She is?" Kate asked, not even bothering to look.

"She is. And I promise I'll wake you up if she waked up before we get home." Castle said, even though he had no intention of following through with that promise.

"Okay, then maybe I'll just sleep for a little bit, I am pretty tired." Kate said as she snuggled into her seat.

"Sounds like a good idea. Love you." Castle said, the goofiest grin on his face. Sleepy Kate was absolutely adorable.

"Love you more." Kate said and within seconds she was out.

"Alright pumpkin, she's out." Castle said.

"You do realize she's going to kill you when she wakes up and realizes you treated her like a five year old, right?" Alexis asked.

"No she's not. She will thank me. If she sleeps now, all she's going to miss is a lot of slow moving cars. If she didn't sleep now. She would end up falling asleep at home and would miss our movie marathon." Castle said.

When Alexis didn't immediately answer, Castle glanced in the rearview mirror to see her sitting there with a wistful smile on her face.

"Everything okay?" Castle asked.

"Yeah. Better than okay. I was just thinking about everything you two have been through and I'm just really glad everything worked out because I've never seen you so happy." Alexis said.

"I've never been this happy pumpkin and I wouldn't change a thing. All the waiting, all the heartache and pain, it was all worth it, this was worth it. I would go through it all again if this is where it ended." Castle said.

"You know, she said the same thing about you yesterday when I talked to her." Alexis said.

"She did?" Castle asked.

"She did." Alexis said.

"What did she say exactly?" Castle asked.

"Sorry dad. Can't tell you… you know, girl code." Alexis said.

"Wha – Alexis! You can't just tell me something like that and then not elaborate." Castle huffed.

"Sure I can. I just did." Alexis said.

"Alexis…" Castle whined.

"Fine, but if you tell Kate that I told you, I will make sure you regret it." Alexis said.

"My lips are sealed." Castle said, miming zipping his lips.

"When I was talking to Kate yesterday, she told me that she did what she did because you were her partner and it doesn't matter if you aren't a cop, she doesn't want to be there if you aren't by her side, that she doesn't enjoy being a cop if you aren't there. I don't know what it was, but in that moment it just hit home that she really does love you. I knew before that she loves you because you could see it, but I guess I didn't really realize how much until yesterday. Apparently my filter was turned off because I just blurted out 'You really love my dad, don't you?' I was so embarrassed because it sounded like I didn't believe that she loved you, which wasn't true, but she must have understood what I meant because she just laughed, she wasn't offended. She told me that she really did, more than she ever thought she could. She said that she made a lot of mistakes in her lie, especially when it came to you, but she never could regret it because it brought her one of the best things in her life, it brought her what you two have." Alexis said.

"I am pretty great, aren't I?" Castle asked with a goofy grin.

"Way to ruin the moment, dad." Alexis said, rolling her eyes.

"You know me, it's what I do, but in all seriousness, I'm… I'm glad she thinks I'm worth it… I'm glad she loves me though to stick in there and forgive me when I'm an idiot." Castle said.

"Yeah, well it wouldn't be fair if she asked you to change who you are dad." Alexis said, clearly teasing.

"Straight to the heart." Castle groaned.

"You'll survive, but seriously dad… don't screw this one up. I really like Kate. She is real and she actually cares about me because I'm me, not because I'm a way to get to you." Alexis said.

"I'm not screwing this one up pumpkin, don't worry. This is it for me, for us. We are going to fight time to time, it's just who we are, we're both stubborn, but no matter what, we will get through it." Castle said.

"Good. Because if you two get divorced, we're kicking you out of the loft." Alexis said.

"I guess it's a good thing we'll never get divorced then. Now why don't you try and get some rest do you don't fall asleep during our movie marathon." Castle said.

"Okay, love you dad." Alexis said.

"Love you too pumpkin." Castle said.

The rest of the ride home was spent in silence, Castle glancing at Kate, who was still sleeping, and Alexis, who was listening to music, watching the city go by, a small smile on his face at how absolutely lucky he was to have such a great life.

Once Castle pulled off the highway, he was pulling into his building's parking garage and into his spot in a matter of no time.

Turning off the car, Castle turned to wake up Kate only to be stopped by his daughter's hand on his arm.

"Why don't you carry her up, dad? It'll be at least a half an hour before dinner gets here and I'm sure she could use the sleep." Alexis said.

"I knew there was a reason I kept you around." Castle said with a big goofy grin, placing a kiss on Alexis's forehead before turning to get out of the car, ignoring his daughter's eye roll.

Making his way around the front of the car, Castle opened the passenger side door, reached across to unbuckle her seatbelt and then scooped her up into his arms with little effort, Kate's arms automatically wrapping around his neck as she buried her face in the crook of his neck, a content sigh escaping from her lips bringing a oft smile to his face.

Kicking the passenger door shut, he made his way over to the elevator, stepping in behind Alexis as they made their way up to the loft.

"I've got to say dad, I'm surprised she didn't put up more of a fight about you carrying her." Alexis said.

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret, when Kate is tired, she loves to be taken care of." Castle said.

"Who would of thought?" Alexis said as she stepped off the elevator.

Slipping into the loft, Castle immediately made his way to the bedroom, lying Kate down on the bed gently before slipping off her shoes.

Making his way into the closet, Castle quickly slipped out of his clothes and into some pajama pants and a t-shirt before grabbing a dress shirt and making his way back into the bedroom, smiling when he saw Kate curled into a ball around his pillow.

Shaking his head, Castle removed Kate's pants, which was rather difficult since she chose to wear her skinny jeans, and then unbutton her shirt to make his job easier when he got her to sit up.

"Kate babe, I need you to wake up for a little bit." Castle said, running his fingers along her temple to rouse her a little bit.

"Don't wanna. Too tired." Kate mumbled.

"I know, but I just need you to sit up for a sec so I can get your shirt off and into something more comfortable." Castle said softly.

"Okay, but no funny business." Kate grumbled as she sat up, her eyes still closed, her forehead resting on Castle's chest as he changed her into his dress shirt.

"All done." Castle said, dropping a kiss to the top of her head before helping her snuggle under the covers.

"Once he was sure she was comfortable, he turned to leave, only to be stopped by Kate's hand wrapping around his wrist.

"You forgot something." Kate slurred, a sloppy grin on her face.

"What did I forget?" Castle asked with a quirked eyebrow completely amused with how adorable she was.

"Instead of answering, Kate lifted a hand tapped her puckered lips, clearly wanting a kiss.

With a soft chuckle, Castle leaned down and captured her lips in a tender kiss, grinning against her lips when he felt her go completely boneless and sink into the mattress.

"Mmm, that's nice. Love you." Kate mumbled, burying her face into her pillow.

"Love you too. Get some sleep, I'll wake you up when lunch gets here." Castle said, slipping out of the bedroom quietly after placing one more kiss on her forehead.

"I was wondering what happened to you. I thought you forgot about me and decided to take a nap too." Alexis said, teasingly.

"Forget about you? Never. It was a little more difficult to get Kate out of her clothes than I thought it would be." Castle said.

"Ew dad." Alexis said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Not like that. I took off her clothes, which would be very uncomfortable to sleep in, and then helped her to change into clothes that would be comfortable to sleep in. Get your mind out of the gutter." Castle said.

"Sorry dad. It's a result of college." Alexis said.

"Touché. So what do we want to do for lunch?" Castle asked.

"Hmm. Definitely not pizza. I ate way too much of that at Stanford and I saw your leftover Chinese in the fridge so you guys probably don't want that again so that leaves Thai or Mexican." Alexis said.

"Either of those are fine with me and I know Kate won't have a problem with either of them. We can also do Remys." Castle said.

"Yeah, well seeing as how Kate is sleeping and you're already in your pajamas, I would be the one that has to go get it and I really don't want to go out again." Alexis said.

"Don't worry my dear daughter. If you want Remys, I can have it delivered, I know a guy." Castle said.

"Since when do you know a guy?" Alexis asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Since Kate wanted Remys, but didn't want me to leave so she told me to use my resources." Castle said.

"I highly doubt Kate told you to use your resources to get Remys delivered dad." Alexis said, disbelief all over her face.

"It's true! She had a big case and I had to get some writing done so by the time she got home that Friday, we hadn't seen each other in basically a week and she was clingy. So when I went to leave to get Remys, she told me she didn't want me to go and told me to use my resources so I didn't have to leave." Castle said.

"Okay dad, whatever you say. You were probably just too lazy to go out and get it yourself." Alexis said, pressing a kiss to his cheek before making her way upstairs.

"Just for that, you aren't getting a milkshake!" Castle called after her as he picked up his phone, dialing the number for their favorite burger joint.

"How will I ever survive?" Alexis said, her voice dripping with sarcasm before he heard her door click shut.

Shaking his head, Castle quickly placed their lunch orders with the assurance that it would be delivered within a half hour.

Hanging up the phone, Castle took one look around the empty living room before deciding to go check on Kate when he already felt bored.

Making his way through the office, Castle paused in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb, a smile on his face at how completely adorable she looked, her face squished into her pillow, hair all messed up from sleep, looking completely relaxed and peaceful.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there watching her sleep, but he was so caught up in what he was doing, the sound of her voice filling the room almost gave him a heart attack.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch me all day or are you going to get over here and join me?" Kate asked, peaking at him through one eye.

Castle didn't have to be asked twice, pushing off the door, he took three large steps and then launched himself onto the bed, Kate's laughter filling the room as he bounced her around.

"Hi." Castle said once he got settled, his head propped up on his hand since Kate was still wrapped around his pillow.

"Hi man-child. Was that really necessary?" Kate asked, brushing his disheveled hair out of his face with an eye crinkling grin.

"Of course. It made you laugh didn't it?" Castle asked.

Kate just rolled her eyes.

"That's what I thought." Castle said with a smug grin.

"Where's Alexis?" Kate asked.

"Taking a shower while we wait for lunch. She told me to call her when it gets here right after accusing me of being lazy." Castle said, pushing his lips out in a pout.

"Aw you poor baby. Is your little girl picking on you?" Kate asked.

"Yes. I need some cheering up." Castle said, a mischievous glint in his eyes as his thumb teased the skin right above the waistline of her panties, the dress shirt having risen up in her sleep.

"Oh really? What exactly do you have in mind?" Kate asked, her eyes burning with desire, her breathing shallow.

"I've got a few things in mind." Castle said, his hand slowly inching upward, his lips inched away from hers, their breaths mingling.

"Good." Kate said before closing the distance between them, her tongue immediately begging for entrance

The moment their tongues met, it was like a fire had been ignited. Kate suddenly found herself on her back, Castle hovering over her, shamelessly grinding against the leg pressed between her legs as Castle went to work removing her shirt.

He had just removed her shirt and recaptured her lips when the doorbell rang, eliciting a frustrated groan from both of them.

"Worst. Timing. Ever." Castle groaned.

"Buck up Casanova and go get our food." Kate aid.

"I don't wanna." Castle whined.

"Do you want your daughter to come down stairs and find us like this when the doorbell keeps ringing." Kate asked.

"Good point." Castle said.

"Go get our lunch. I'll be right out." Kate said, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before pushing him off of her and disappearing into the bathroom.

Sure enough, Castle has just finished putting out their dinner when Kate came out of the bedroom, the dress shirt back on along with a pair of his boxers.

"Ooo Remys. Good choice. Did you have it delivered again?" Kate asked.

"Yes I did. Speaking of which, can you please tell my daughter that it was you who originally told me to get Remys delivered because you couldn't stand to be away from me. She doesn't believe me." Castle said.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Kate said, grabbing her burger and plopping down on the couch.

"Kate…" Castle whined.

"Okay, okay, yes I told him to use his resources to get Remys delivered." Kate said.

"See, told you." Castle said, sticking his tongue out at his daughter,

"Sorry I ever doubted you dad." Alexis said, rolling her eyes.

"You are forgiven." Castle said.

"What are we watching?" Kate asked.

"We are having a Home Alone marathon." Castle said.

"I love Home Alone." Kate said.

"I know." Castle said, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "Now are we ready for this marathon?"

"Ready." Alexis said.

"Ready." Kate said, snuggling into his side.

"Let's get this party started." Castle said.

_**Author's Note: Okay, so we aren't actually going to see the movie marathon. They just sit there and watch movies pretty boring. But next chapter we will see the Alexis/Kate conversation and a continuation of Castle and Beckett's pre-lunch activities. **_

_**Okay, so one of my friends wants me to have Beckett wear the dress she wore to the Elysium premier sometime in this story and she wants me to write Castle's reaction, which is pretty simple, but I have no fashion sense so I need some help with events that it would be appropriate to wear that dress to. Thanks!**_

_**Enjoy and Review!**_


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